Fast-forward to the next day and the bird is wigging out because what, at one point, looked like safety was now her trap.  As soon as I saw her, struggling and fighting to break her way free, I could relate to her instantly.  So many times, I have found myself or one of my clients pushing and fighting to make things happen.  We have set in our mind what we want, yet our actions only leave us exhausted and no where closer to where we want to be.

Now, all the bird needed to do was turn around to find the same hole was there for her to get out of this mess.  The problem was the hole in the lamp post was directly facing my garage – the opposite direction of where she wanted to go.  She was looking out at the other intact glass plates and saw trees and other birds happily flying along.  She was likely thinking “Out there is where I want to be.”  It would be easy to think “Just turn around little bird and you’ll see how easy it is to get your desired outcome.”  But she doesn’t take a step back, she just keeps bumping into the glass plate in front of her.  She sees where she wants to go, yet her efforts aren’t working.

Sound familiar?   How many times do you find yourself in the same spot despite your efforts?  That is your indicator that you too are operating from fear.  When you are in a state of fear, whether you are conscious of it or not, you are taken away from what actually serves and supports your highest good.  Just as the bird was afraid of being stuck, so often are we.  Yet the direction our fears tell us to go is often the opposite direction of what will actually serve us.  Just as the bird’s fear was telling her to keep pushing against a glass plate, we keep pushing against the tides of life.

To help my poor bird friend, I knew what I needed to do.  I got in front of her face and looked her straight in the eyes.  Although I was scary and obviously made her uncomfortable, I did this for a reason – to allow her to see the easiest way out of her situation.  Only in that moment was she able to turn the other direction and finally see how to set herself free from her own trap.  In an instant, she was gone and free to live as her heart guided her.

Guess what, your negative emotions are trying to do the same loving gesture as I did for the bird.  Now just as the bird did not think me getting in front of her face was loving, we often don’t think of our negative feelings as loving.  They are!

I know when you first experience a negative feelings, they make you feel uncomfortable and might even feel scary or overwhelming, just like my big eyes were to the bird.  Yet, negative feelings are loving because when you consciously learn to listen to the higher vibrational message, they are there to guide you.  Your negative feelings actually signal to you how you are going the wrong way AND give you the guidance you need to get back on track.

Unfortunately, you are often too busy trying to fight your negative feelings.  You distance yourself from your negative feelings in order keep going in the direction that you think will get your needs met.  Then you wonder why you aren’t getting your desired outcome met.

 Here’s the human guide to break free from fear and/or self-imposed limitations:

Step One: Recognize that where you are is not where you want to be.  It is so easy to keep ourselves busy – so darn easy in this society to stay busy, right?  The truly courageous move is to slow yourself down and see if you are living in alignment with what you truly desire.  Otherwise, you are acting like our bird friend – doing a lot of the same action over and over, yet not getting very far.

Step Two: Listen to your feelings.  If you truly are committed to living your fullest life possible, you must be willing to face your fear.  For us human folk that means listening to aspects of ourselves that aren’t happy.  The good news is that you only have fear when you are ready to expand.  Otherwise, you would feel fulfilled right where you are.

Step Three:  Look your ego in the eye.  When you listen to your feelings, the ego is the first to speak and its language is fear.  What your ego is going to share with you is the illusion.  Remember, to our bird friend, she only saw one way to freedom, yet it was completely incorrect.  Write down the limitations that you hear come forward from your fear.  How are they working for you?  You need to know because that is where you are operating from.  If you feel that what you have is better than nothing, that is a clear indication that fear is running and limiting your life.

Step Four: Risk letting go.   Your ego will tell you a whole bunch of stories that you are letting go of your dream if you stop listening to your fear.  That is the illusion!  You access your ideal when you choose to let go.  Back up, choose another option (there always is at least one, if not several, other choices to choose from).  This is when you will witness real courage and strength within you.

The shifts that are occurring  in your life are present to remind you of your truth.

This truth is: you are stronger and more courageous than you realize.

We are each being called to ACT upon this inner strength, as talk is no longer enough.  The way we have learned to understand our emotions has set us all up to struggle.  There is a new way.  In the upcoming weeks, I am going to share with you more about how this new way will radically change how you feel and live, supporting you to act more fully from love, courage and strength.

- You see people rocking it on Facebook.
- You see reality shows where people are living extraordinary lives.
- You see your own debt.

That is when it is easy to get overwhelmed or feel down.

There is another way!

Let me share with you a little story that just happened so you can see how easy it really is to receive!!

What about you? Are you ready to live (or already living) an abundant little life? Share with me how.

The truth of the matter is I am eager to get my book done.  In fact, I told my editor it would be done by early next week.  My fear was making me push myself.  I started questioning myself and became frustrated.  The chapter wasn’t feeling right.

Thankfully, I know how to understand my frustration from the higher consciousness of love.  In fact, my upcoming book Feel Every Emotion as Love teaches how each of your negative feelings presents themselves in order for you to get back on track from living from a state of love.  Each negative feeling has a specific message to guide you back on course.

My frustration was there to notify me that what I am doing isn’t going to work for me.  You see, in my quest to get my book finished, I have been lacking nurturing myself.  That’s when I realized how I had fallen back into basing my worth on fear rather than love.

Oh how often I do this – because I am a doer.  Doers are great and yet in order for our doing to be effective, it must be balanced with time to receive nurturance, love and care.  For me that is often taking time to read in the middle of the day, go for a walk, color, or turn on Ellen (I love her!).  I am only nurturing myself for 20-30 minutes and then I feel revitalized.

When I base my worth on fear, there is no time for nurturing myself.  My worth, I believe in that moment, is about getting things done at nearly all costs.  My frustration came in to remind me this is no longer my way.  Sure I will still get triggered from time to time when deadlines loom.  The truth of the matter is I wasted a ton of time yesterday pushing myself.  Way more time than the 20-30 minutes I usually give to myself as a nurturance break.

Not today – Today has already been magical and will continue to be so.  As I was rushing to get to yoga, another plan arose in me.  I knew I needed to get outside. I went for a run and I swear to you the butterflies were dancing with me.  The birds were singing, dragonflies twirling and bees humming along.  What a gift!

I came home and laid on the lawn.  Even though it was cool, I took off my sweatshirt and allowed the sun to soak into my bare arms and face.  I felt thoroughly connected again to the love that surrounds me as well as the love that radiates from within me.

From this place of where I stand now, where I am thoroughly connected to love, I am once again reminded of the important choice we all have.  We each have a choice, and it truly is your choice, to base your worth on love or fear.

I choose love.  From love, is where we can all be our best and truly be of service to others.   I am so grateful for the magic that occurs when we remember to love.

And now, I can’t wait to dive back into my book and share more deeply how our fear is here to serve us!  So I am off to share more of my insight there.

Before I go, I would love to hear from you.  Have you been basing your worth on fear rather than love lately?  What ways do you nurture yourself?  Please share because we aren’t on this journey alone and your messages impact others (whether your ego allows you to realize it or not)!

With great love and appreciation for you-

Michelle

In your heart, you already know what it would feel like to be fully expressed.  You would be sharing a part of yourself that serves others.  Sharing yourself in this way will bring you great joy and fulfillment.

Yet, what stops you from spreading your wings?  At times, you are likely connected to that feeling in your heart where you believe in yourself so completely.  Other times, fear and negative feelings may be unconsciously dictating your reactions to life.  Rather than feel expansive, you close your wings and bring them in tight, close to you.  At that moment, you have gone into what I call your “Safe-Self.”

Let’s face it, being your Fully Expressed Self is risky.  You’re letting your wings spread bigger than you ever have.  You are allowing yourself to be truly seen.

Although sharing yourself in this way is how your heart is guiding you to live, your ego thinks differently.  Your ego wants to keep you safe -either by living inside the box: where you live afraid of how others view you OR by remaining feeling comfortable in your own skin - feeling good yet, not completely fulfilled.

The problem is your safe self is a version of being the victim.  Now let me be clear, I have no problem when we go into the victim or safe mode of living.  Being the victim or safe-self has times when it serves us to lick our wounds and nurture ourselves in order that we can pick ourselves up again after being hurt or feeling threatened.  At the same time, both being the victim and remaining in safe self mode can be overplayed and don’t serve your highest good.

Now thankfully, no one likes to remain the victim for too long.  Eventually you see you aren’t able to create the life you want remaining disempowered.  Yet, the safe self is another story.  We like staying safe – even at the expense of your true self and of the life that could be possible if you followed your heart.

The problem is that the sense of safety you are buying into is false.  It is an illusion to have your short-term needs met, while taking away your chances to have your long-term desires fulfilled.

This spring, as we are called to crack open the egg to reawaken and rebirth, ask yourself:

1. In what area of my life have I remained playing safe – by old rules, or an old role that no longer serves me?

2. Where am I longing to spread my wings and how does my safe self try to stop me?

Next, the key is to NOT judge your safe self – after all, that part of you just wants to keep you safe.  You can honor this part of you by asking:

3. How can I make you (safe self) feel safe even while I take risks to express and share myself more fully?

What your safe self ultimately wants to feel safe from is actually YOU – the harsh critic, self-doubting you!  Sure you may project that others are criticizing or judging you.  The reality is even if people were, you wouldn’t notice unless there was a part of you doing the same.

So the question really is:

4. How do I make myself safe from the part of me that picks on myself?

The answer is you listen to your negative feelings from the standpoint of love rather than fear.  From the standpoint of love, you hear more of your truth.  The more your truth guides you, the more you transform to your fullest expression of self.

(If you aren’t certain how to listen to your negative feelings from love rather than fear, don’t worry.  I will be filling you in with more details in the upcoming weeks. Just know your negative feelings hold vital energy to fuel your full expression.)

Until then, work on breaking the habit of putting yourself down by replacing those thoughts and actions with those that build yourself up.

Allow this spring of 2012 to be the catalyst to a new you – one which refuses to no longer think negatively about you.  Now how safe does that feel?  Think how differently you would respond to risk, to spreading your wings and sharing more of yourself in service to others.  All you need to do is remember:

•   *  There is more of you your heart wants you to share and you are ready to support this vision to become your reality.

• You have your emotions and thoughts on your side.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              *  Your emotions are the fuel to your intentions!

Now is your time to gather energy from both your positive AND negative feelings (understood from love rather than fear) to ignite yourself out of your comfort zone and into a life that feels fully expressed!

Now let’s hear from you!  What are the strategies you use to build yourself up when your ego wants to judge you instead.  (Remember now is your time to break out of the chrysalis of “your norm” and share more of you!)

See what suggestions others share that feel like a good fit for you.  When you add those suggestions to your emotional fuel – the sky’s the limit!

Here’s to “springing” a fuller expression of you!

With love and appreciation,

Wow!  Think about what life would be like if you lived it like that!

I am not saying you must always live with an untamed heart every single moment of your life (although you could).

My question is:

* When was the last time you allowed your untamed heart to be expressed?

* When was the last time you expressed this part of you in your day to day life?

* Do others get to see, taste and feel the bold, wild you?

* Do they get to experience your unbridled power?

I am not just talking about romantic love either.  This wild spirit of yours wants to be expressed in your work, with your friends and family – in all areas of your life.  You have the spirit of a wild horse running within you and so often you are trying to keep it tame.  Why?

The reason why we all unconsciously tame ourselves is because we’ve been programed by our fears.  Fear we will not be loved, liked or accepted should we show this untamed side.

Here’s the cost:

• Lack of self-trust and confidence
• Lack of joy and laughter
• Lack of bold action that initiates much needed change in your life & in the world
• Lack of true intimacy
• Lack of passion and purpose

And so much more…

So, how about we change that?

Here’s how:

1 A. Imagine yourself sharing this bold or wild side.

B. What do you fear people will judge about you?  What might you feel ashamed about?

C. Name how that part of you is important, needed and necessary. In other words, how does that part of you serve and support you when expressed from love?

2 A. Image yourself afraid to share your bold or wild side.

B. How do you judge or shame that part of you?

C. Name how that part of you is important, needed and necessary.  In other words, how does that part of you serve and support you when expressed from love?

Every aspect of you is needed and necessary.  You need both sides.  Yet, too often we want to hide in our fears.  At times, this can be okay because that allows others to take care of us.  Of course, being taken care of can feel nice.  Yet, when we stay in our fear too long, we won’t feel good because there is unexpressed potential waiting to be shared.

When you have an untamed heart, you are fearless.  What the world needs from each of us is to become less fearless of ourselves.  In other words, we become brazen – meaning, we don’t carry shame toward ourselves.

Without this shame, you are able to truly lead.  This is what the world is begging for – more who are willing to lead during times when challenges seem impossible to surmount.  Guess what?  To do that, they’ll need the bold & empowered you to step forward.  This is how you can give of yourself and serve fearlessly.  So whadaya say?

There is nothing about you that needs to be shamed.  We are all one, carrying the same fears, questions, doubts and insecurities.  We do this until we find our truth – that we are each love.  To find this truth, you must consciously chose love over fear.

Whenever you feel your love tank can use a little boost, or whenever you need a little self-confidence, choose to express your wild, bold & brazen self.   Each time you do, you step further away from the safe persona you have built and more fully awaken to your joy, beauty and power in revealing all of you!

Happy Valentine’s Day Wild One!

With lots of love from me to you-

So the question was, “How could I give more deeply?”  As I took a moment to reflect, I saw how tired I have been now that the holidays are over.  When night comes, I feel wiped out.  I reflected on how some of my silly bedtime rituals of tickle bugs and other important nonsense with the kids have been cut way back.

What I was reminded of was presence.  Maybe you are like me, where you find you have moments of presence and then it slips away. Suddenly you find yourself thinking about what else is on your list of things to do.  Rather than stay in the moment, you find your mind going off into some other place.

Others of you may rarely find presence if you are like I was, an ultimate multi-tasker.  As a parent, I found it challenging not to try to do twenty things at once.  There is so much going on at once that you become good at juggling or sink.  Many of you may feel like that is also the reality of your job as well.  This is where you get addicted to living at a pace that keeps you away from your presence.  Then you find yourself in those rare spare moments that you have, checking your email rather than just being present.

This is why it is important for all of us to ask in each moment “Am I giving deeply of myself?”  In other words, are you fully in the moment?  Are you playing full out in the everyday components of life?

Don’t forget about yourself either.  Are you giving deeply to yourself as well?  Are you listening to your needs?  Are you listening to your feelings and how they are loving guiding you?  This is where many fall short.  You simply aren’t willing to give yourself this loving attention because your ego had you believe there is too much other components to your life that need your attention.  What you are really saying to yourself is that your needs are not that important.

Now ask yourself this, if your needs aren’t that important, can you really be present?  You can’t. If you can’t be present, you really can’t truly give of yourself as you desire. Your needs are going to find some way to be addressed, unconsciously or consciously.  If your needs must find an unconscious way to be met, you will find your efforts being sabotaged.

This is part of the transformation that is occurring this year, to let go of old habits that keep us away from living more fully connected to ourselves.  You give more deeply when you are fully present with yourself first.  Being present with yourself is what allows you to be fully present with others.  This is how we truly and deeply connect.  It is through present connection that you tend to find the fun just by truly being where you are.

You have so many gifts and so much love to give!  Allow your emotions to guide you back to your truth. Your truth has huge plans for you!  What you are hearing allows you more fully understand your essence, which in turn, supports you to truly share of yourself.  You can be more open, more exposed, and more vulnerable.  In doing so, you will find yourself more deeply able to give in ways that bring you the joy and fulfillment your heart craves!

Here’s to you giving of yourself more deeply!  Please share the ways that arise within you to share of yourself in this loving and generous way below.  By giving of yourself through sharing, your heart may inspire another to give more deeply in the same way!

With love and appreciation for your giving heart -

Interestingly, what stood out the most in this play was a story of faith.  The type of faith that is required when the guidance you are being given doesn’t make sense to your rational mind.  Then continually finding trust day by day when you don’t know for certain what your future entails.

This process of trust and faith reminds me of what is required of us when we live emotionally conscious.  Your feelings are filled with intuitive wisdom.  Your feelings will give you guidance that may not be the most comfortable step to take.  Often times, the guidance you receive will not make sense to your rational mind.

Living emotionally conscious requires great faith.  At times you probably felt like you were stumbling along in your own darkness.  The point is you kept making steps in the darkness, even though you weren’t exactly sure where it would lead you.  Where this is all leading you, my friend, is back to more of you:

• Your Gifts
• Your Truth
• Your Inner Treasure

Leading you out of this darkness is your light.  Your light is the part of you that wants you to see the gifts to every single part of you.  The light within you is what allows you to recognize how aspects of yourself that your ego rejects are the exact aspects you need to serve the world.  These aspects will simply react differently when they are treated from a place of love rather than fear.

As we now enter into the darkest day of the year, in the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate the light moving forward.  That is why the Winter Solstice is such an honored time of year because we are welcoming in the light, both the light of the sun and the light within you.   The light within you will continue to encourage you to see all aspects of you through love rather than fear.

So whether you light the menorah, wrap up your Christmas tree in lights, or want to honor the sun for bringing forward longer daylight hours, what is clear is that this is a time to celebrate light.  This time of year is a celebration of finding the light in the darkness.  The light is always present to guide you, regardless of how dark it may seem.  Light, like love, always exists.

This holiday, celebrate the light within you and the light within others.  Trust in your light and it will shine even more brightly.  In return, you will be sharing your light with others without even knowing you are doing so.  Naturally you light comes pouring forth simply because you had the courage to have trust and faith.

This holiday season, may you remember:

*You too are a miracle.

*You too are a beacon of light.

*You too are meant to use your love and light to serve the world.

*You too are an instrument of peace and love.

May your light shine brightly in trust, faith and love this holiday season!

The darkness within you is not bad or negative.  It is simply those parts of yourself you don’t want to address.  In our day to day living, you are most likely not going to want to address this part of you.  Maybe you feel you don’t have time to address this part of you or perhaps you judge that this part of you exists.   Add in the hustle and bustle of the holidays and these parts of you are sure to go ignored.  Yet these parts of you that desperately want your attention are likely going to make a holiday appearance –    like it or not.   Here are some common examples of what you may be feeling inside you:

• You feel saddened from missing someone you were once close with that is no longer in your life.
• You feel saddened and frustrated that you cannot afford to give as much as you would like.
• You feel like a spoiled brat because a part of you has so many things you want to receive.
• You feel undeserving to receive a gift.
• You feel stressed out by all the demands the holidays bring.
• You feel alone.
• You feel like Porky the Pig because you haven’t been eating well or exercising.
• You feel angry or depressed because you aren’t getting along with a family member and they are ruining your holidays.

Wowza, the above examples that are coming from your ego don’t give you that warm holiday sensation does it?  Some of these feelings are harsh and judgmental, others feel downright sad.  This makes it even more likely that no one, not even your consciously evolving self, wants to pay attention to how that part of you feels.  Yet the darkness beckons us to reconcile these parts that we have left out of our light.

To reconcile, you want to listen to your feelings and understand their meaning beyond that which the ego is demonstrating to you.  Your ego wants to berate you to keep you small because smallness equates to protection in the ego’s world.  Yet as you learn the higher consciousness messages to all that you feel, you know that these messages are trying to tell you that these aspects of yourself need your love.

That part of you that feels undeserving is begging for self-recognition.  The part of you that feels like a spoiled brat simply needs to be shown by you in your day to day life how special you really are.  The part of you judging your weight wants to be nurtured and taken care of rather than have your needs cast aside.  You get the point now don’t you?

The holidays are about celebrating and calling forth the light within you and within the world.  This is what miracles are made from and they can occur within you as well.   By bringing the light into those parts that you would rather remain hidden in the dark, you call for a miracle from within.  This is the miracle of unconditional love.  By more fully giving this to yourself, you are going to be able to more fully give unconditional love to those most important to you.  In doing so, you have learned to create the inner peace, joy and presence we all crave – especially during the holidays.

You are the all encompassing gift of light.  Remember this by bringing forward the light within those dark aspects of you.   As you do, the more light you bring into the world.  What better gift can there truly be than more light and love?

Wishing you a special holiday season filled with love and joy for the miracle that you are!

According to Evolving Door Astrology (www.EvolvingDoor.ca), Regulus, a star that symbolizes the age of old patriarchy and male energy domination, is on the cusp of moving into Virgo.  This means we are transitioning to bring forward feminine energy.  As the world has shown, this shift isn’t easy.  There is breaking-down in order to build back up to create what will better serve the highest good.

The same type of breakdown is being called within you.  Each and every one of you is being guided to go within and see what actions, thoughts, beliefs and motives are no longer serving you.  As you do, you see how old unconscious patterns aren’t serving you.  Perhaps you consciously focus on bringing in more of the feminine by slowing down and honoring life.  At the same time, you know you have things that need to get done.  That masculine energy pulls on you that you need to serve more or must make money, which means you need to take action and have discipline.

For myself, the feminine and masculine energy has often felt like an internal tug of war.  For a while, I am fine putting my health and joy as a priority.  When I did, less work got done but, I was happier.  Yet, as less work got done, I became stressed about my family’s need for income coming through my work.  Suddenly, my masculine energy was in charge of me, filled with new visions and goals that I had to work hard and strive to meet.

The truth was my ego has gotten a hold of both my masculine and feminine energy.  My ego used the masculine energy as a whip, pulling on my internal dialogue that what I was doing was never enough.  Of course, I was not conscious of this.  Yet as I went in deeper I found my ego working me by saying “You are not good enough! Work harder!  You are not supporting your family!”  I would blindly follow the ego’s instructions and then would get totally burned out.

My feminine energy would be there to save me, telling me to take care of myself.  Yet, even though I thought I was consciously in my feminine energy, I was in my ego’s version.  In my ego’s version of the feminine, it is all about maintaining peace.  My motto was  “I am at peace and my life is an expression of peace.”  Yet this isn’t maintainable either – at least not in my family.  I have kids, husband and work, all of which have their needs and struggles that absolutely collide head on with my peace, no matter how hard I tried.

It wasn’t until I embraced the shadow of the feminine and the duality of all, that I was able to allow myself to more deeply BE.  To BE, is to allow the shadow of the feminine to come through and TRUST!  The shadow of the feminine is breaking down what isn’t working within us and in our lives – the absolute opposite of peace!  This creates feelings such as overwhelm, a sense of loss and a desire to cling onto what you know.  You’ll want to turn to your masculine energy to fix and strive for better or for more.  Yet consciously bringing in the feminine means to allow for the break down and then trust.  BE.  Create the space for what wants to come forward through flow rather than automatically strive to make it better.

Your ego has you believe you get closer to your desires when you strive.  This is the masculine energy that has dominated us and lives deep within all our psyches.  Yet if you look back on your life, you will find that some of your greatest gifts happened when you did not have expectations – perhaps when expectations were even gone.

For me, when I was least expecting a relationship is when I met my husband.  When I was at a low with my career and was ready to give up, is when my first book was birthed.  I was unconscious of the feminine energy at work in those cases.  I was not aware how I was broken down in order to make room for my desires.

Now we are being called to allow her to work through us consciously.  To actually support her to breakdown, let go, and listen.  This is the work of 11-11-11, the opening, the feminine energy that is coming through in the world.  This is our challenge.  Yet the sooner we jump into her shadow, the more we open ourselves to the absolute miracles she brings forward within each of our lives.

Stay attuned to your being-ness and your emotions. They are a gateway, present to support you to make this internal shift.  In doing so, you are more accessible to become part of the miracle making process that is so needed in our world!

With deep love for you, your magnificence and brilliance!

At the same time, your relationships impact your level of juiciness as well.   Because of the love you have for your partner, you may find that you have allowed some behaviors to slide.  Now, of course, we all need to be flexible in our relationships.  The question is if you are allowing a behavior to continue that takes away from your juiciness.   What would that behavior be?  The one behavior that keeps showing up and drives you absolutely crazy!

Here are some recent examples I have heard lately, where a partner is guilty of:

• Not providing adequate enough help around the house,
• Being distracted when you show signs of affection,
• Cutting you off in conversation, or
• Teasing you about something that really bothers you.

The behavior could be anything.  The point is that your partner is unconscious of how this is truly impacting you, as well as him or herself!  You see, you have probably brought up the issue previously before, right?  Yet, for one reason or another, the behavior sneaks back into your relationship.  In the vast majority of cases, this is not intentional of your partner. He/she simply does not realize the impact this has on the juiciness of your relationship.

Try this step by step process:

1. Identify how you feel when your partner engages in the behavior.
2. Share how you recognize that your partner is not engaging in the behavior to intentionally hurt you. ** (See Note)
3. Explain how his/her behavior makes you feel.  Ie: I feel ignored, which makes me really sad or I feel depleted, which makes me angry and frustrated.
4. Describe how your resentment unintentionally comes out.  I now realize that this is why I don’t want to do this activity that you love or I now realize this is why I don’t have the energy to give to you once the kids are in bed.
5. Describe how a change in behavior would benefit your partner. ie When you don’t cut me off in a conversation, I feel seen and heard by others.  When I feel this way, it makes me want to share more of myself with you.
6. Create a signal.  A signal can be a word, hand gesture (the middle finger generally not a good one to useJ), or pull on one of his/her fingers. Whatever can get your partner’s attention to recognize he/she is engaging in the behavior.  Don’t worry about other people sensing something is up.  Even if they do, you can explain and I am certain if they are in a relationship, they can relate!  Bottom line, make it fun!
7. Show Gratitude.  Since your partner is making a conscious effort, you make the conscious effort to share more of your juiciness with him/her.

By partaking in these steps, you are motivating your partner to change.  Your partner is only human.  This means you cannot expect him/her to fully understand what his/her behavior truly means to you.  Plus, by consciously sharing more of your juiciness, you are setting up for future shifts to occur with greater ease.  You and your relationship should include juicy expressions of both of you.  Having this type of honest conversation and healthy boundary setting allows the juiciness to flow between you and your partner even more!

Here’s to you and your juiciest expression of self!

** Important Note: If you actually feel that your partner is intentionally engaging in behaviors to hurt you, PLEASE, use this as a WARNING SIGNAL!  What is happening is underlying resentments are going to build up between the both of you and sabotage your relationship.  If both of you sense underlying resentments exist, see a marital therapist before it is too late.  Ask any marital therapist what ends marriages and they’ll say “the couple waited too long to get support.”