One of my clients came to me last year really upset. She had been working in an organization for about 6 years. She loved the people she worked with but a change in management created a huge disconnect for her.

When we worked together, there was a great deal of anger she had to get through. Each day she continued to work at her job, it was harder and harder. So with great courage, she put in her notice without having another position- a very scary prospect for someone who enjoyed the security of a job.

In our coaching sessions, she began to get some distance from her old position and see that she had really outgrown it. It was very clear she still treasured the kind of work that she did. She totally loved supporting filmmakers in their careers. She passionately wanted to promote Canadian films internationally. Her goal was to be a cultural ambassador for Canada. She made plans to achieve that ambition.

She decided to start her own business, rather than look for another position. After choosing a name – a challenging task to sum up your business in a name – she began creating materials.

She started curating packages of short films that were shown at the Canadian embassies. She received rave reviews and attended some of the screenings. She began to shed her old perspective of herself and saw herself a new way. Her vision of being a cultural ambassador is becoming a reality.

Here’s her experience of making that transition.

On the wings of an angel I will fly! Thanks to Mickey’s wings I feel like my career is soaring to new heights. With Mickey’s guidance and support I have developed a greater sense and appreciation of what I want to do and how I can do it.
Just over a year ago, I made a few bold professional decisions and established a new business and direction for my career.  The transition wasn’t easy but with Mickey’s steady hand to guide, console and encourage, I’m now passionately engaged in my work and  believe I’m living my bliss.
Mickey is wise in her counsel, respectful in her approach, knowledgeable in a multitude of areas and grounded in her work. She is – my opinion – the ultimate professional and charmingly personable. While the bulk of my coaching is done, I continue to keep Mickey within my circle of trusted advisors and friends – just as one would do with an angel.

As he was talking, I thought about Steve Jobs and his management style. As I’ve said before he certainly wasn’t a model manager in his communications with his staff. Yet, he certainly inspired people to do their best work.

Again the message he gave to staff over and over again – aim higher, don’t settle. What would it look like if we upped our game to an 11, rather than be content with mediocrity

1.              Use your mental powers.

Like a high performance athlete going for a gold medal finish, create a picture in your mind of what playing at 11 looks like for you.  Steve Jobs had his distortion reality field. It was named after an episode of Star Trek where aliens create a convincing alternative reality through sheer mental force. An early example was when Jobs was on the night shift at Atari and pushed Steve Wozniak to create a game called Breakout. Woz said it would take months, but Jobs stared at him and insisted he could do it in four days. Woz knew that was impossible, but he ended up doing it.

2.              Focus

Distraction is one of the chief challenges we face. It’s difficult to be playing your best game when you are constantly on your i-phone or i-pad. In fact, those products were the result of Job’s practice of concentration.  Jobs took  his management team on a retreat for them to come up with products they could centre on for the coming year. Once everyone had their say, he would scale it back to three. Those three products would be the only focus of the company.

3.              Surround yourself with “A” players

When we are around smart, stimulating and successful colleagues, we challenge ourselves. There is an expectation of greatness. That certainly was true of Jobs. He infused Apple employees with an abiding passion to create groundbreaking products and a belief that they could accomplish what seemed impossible. His top players tended to stick around longer and be more loyal than those at other companies, including ones led by bosses who were kinder and gentler.

Authentic – There was no doubt that he was totally himself in front of the crowd, and talking about his passion for pop that “he loved his whole life” .  Springsteen was willing to expose his teenage years and fears. When he was talking about one of his heroes Roy Orbison, he said Orbison stuck ” his knife into the belly of your teenage insecurity with songs like Crying, It’s Over and Running Scared.

Great images of being tortured by soft skin, angora sweaters, beauty and death.

His key message about creativity and its purity really sealed it for me- how it is all about expression. And even though you may be the greatest to some people or that you suck.  There’s no right way – there’s just doing it.

Are you ready to spring into spring? Here, the cherry blossoms are budding, the crocuses are pushing their way through the ground and buckets of tulips – red, fushia, yellow, orange are for sale on every corner store.

You can smell the freshness in the air – the feeling of spring. On my morning walks, I’m seeing eagles spanning across the sky, three otters frolicking in the sea and my neighbours have a skip in their step. People just seem happier

So to help you perhaps get a little happier, I’m offering a coaching spring special  – The Coaching Six Pack until March 20th.  Receive a bonus coaching session – 6 for the price of 5, just because it’s spring.

If you want to ….

tackle your business from a brand new perspective or

lead your team to enhanced collaboration or

ramp up your own performance or

win deals with your pitches at markets

Take radical responsibility for yourself and contact me to-day.

Part of this impetus was from a talk I recently attended, The Science of Happiness. John Helliwell, an economist from the University of BC has been studying what makes us happy. He is one of the leading minds investigating what it is exactly that makes us happy and he’s uncovered constructive ways to use this knowledge to improve our quality of life. Helliwell maintains people systematically overestimate the impact of material things and underestimate the positive impacts of social connections.

Here are some of his findings.

1. Trust is a must. When employees have trust in management, it has the same impact on life satisfaction as getting a 30% raise.  It’s not just in the workplace. Trust in police and neighbours counts too. People have the confidence to reach and out and engage when trust is high

2. Money really doesn’t buy happiness. It can and does at lower income levels. However, positive social interaction has a greater impact on well being

3. Generosity is one of the keys to happiness. Donors and volunteers often receive greater personal satisfaction from their philanthropy than recipients. In a recent study, cancer patients who counseled their peers received even larger benefits than those they were counseling.

4. Face time is crucial to happiness. A sense of belonging at a local community level is a key indicator of happiness. As for social media, a Canadian survey found that it is the size of your network of real-time friends, and not the online version, that supports life satisfaction.

What makes you happy?

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1. Spring Fever and looking past limits
2. Happiness part 2

I was struck by the number of times Jobs cries, throws tantrums or humiliates his employees. He takes credit for others’ work and even parks in handicapped parking spaces.

By the 100th page he had cried at least 10 times, sometimes like a petulant child not getting his own way. While he demanded high standards from his employees and led Apple from innovation to innovation, he was a jerk boss. Even Isaacson says Jobs was probably the world’s worst manager.

Since I’ve been facilitating workshops on leadership and respectful workplaces, I am keenly aware of how destructive bosses like Jobs can be. We often excuse that kind of behaviour because, like Jobs, the boss is a genius or so competent that they can’t be replaced. So what do you do if you have to deal with someone in authority that’s an asshole?

Escape if at all possible
When we were in production we had a “no grief” set and wouldn’t hire people who were prima donnas, yellers or abusive, no matter how talented the people are. Look for that kind of working environment. And we know sometimes that’s just not possible. You want to pay off your mortgage or you’re digging out of student loans or just getting started in your career. So…

Set your own boundaries
Very often jerks act and speak in the way they do because they get away with it. You can be the judge of whether you feel safe enough to politely confront the abusive behaviour but it certainly helps to be clear about how you want to be treated. Here’s one example of politely stating your case. “I can improve if you criticize my work. I can become more competent. However, attacking me or yelling isn’t helpful and is unacceptable.”

Limit your exposure
Stay out of the way and keep your head down when you have to deal with the person. Say you only have five minutes to discuss the matter. Avoid sit-down sessions if you can. Stand-up meetings are shorter and can be just as effective.

Keep a diary
The laws around bullying in the workplace are getting stronger. For instance, in many places employers have to post their policies on violence in the workplace and how they will deal with the complaints. If you have an asshole boss, start documenting the incidents and look for support from your co-workers. Make sure you keep your writings in a safe place away from your desk or workspace.

There are no quick fixes or easy cures if you are in a nasty workplace. Let me know the successes you’ve had to combat jerks at your work.

As we may have experienced, anxiety is often our first response to public speaking. Standing up and delivering a talk is the number two fear for many people. The first is death, in case you were wondering.

One of the chief ways to overcome some of that fear is to really focus on the audience. Put yourself in their shoes and answer these two questions: 1) why should they care? And 2) what’s in it for them?

With a clear understanding of the needs of those sitting in front of you, you are well on your way to success.

Robert Cialdini, a social psychologist has delved deeper into what really influences people’s decisions to agree, buy or commit to an idea or a product.

These methods have been studied and found to be effective.

Reciprocity
In every culture there is a tradition of gift giving. Once someone has given you a gift you are much more likely to return in kind. For instance, waiters who left a candy on the bill tray were more likely to receive higher tips. Those who left two candies upped their tip. However those servers who came back to the table and complimented their guests with an additional candy received 25% more.

Gift giving or even a compliment is particularly effective when it is special to the person receiving it, regardless of the amount of money spent and unexpected.

Liking
We are more likely to be persuaded by someone who we like – not surprising. We tend to believe people who are similar to us, have the same interests or hobbies or share views of the world. When people go to home shopping parties, like Tupperware, their opinion of the host totally influences the amount they buy at the event. We’re also more likely to be influenced by eating together with people. The act of dining together promotes a sense of solidarity.

Commitment
Once we publicly declare our intentions, it is much more likely that we will buy or vote or volunteer. Asking people the question such as are you willing to support an initiative and wait for a yes in response yields greater support. Saying ‘yes’ signals a commitment. Their commitment then becomes voluntary, active and publicly declared to others. Writing a commitment down increases the commitment even more.

1.    What do I want to stop doing?
2.    What do I want to do less of?
3.    What do I want to do more of?

Those seem like a saner way to live the next year than making resolutions that I’ll forget in the next couple of weeks and feel defeated.

A year seems overwhelming – 365 days to accomplish a goal. It is easy to lose sight of what you want to accomplish.

My solution is the 30 day resolution. What do you want to do in the next 30 days? Change comes in small bite size pieces to get you to your goal.

Thirty days give you an opportunity to try it out. See if that resolution works for you. So start exercising for half an hour for 30 days, or talk to someone new every day or keep your desk organized for only 30 days.

It takes 21 days to create a habit or break a habit, so with 30 days, you’ve had success and results. One person I know decided that she would drink eight glasses of water a day. Although she found it difficult at first she now has the habit of drinking more water – she doesn’t necessarily drink eight every day, but certainly she drinks more than she did before her 30 day trial.

The 30 day challenge is easy to mark off the days. Another person I know decided to give up wine for 30 days. He found that he was doing a count down – only 3 more days to go before he could have wine. That glass at the end of the 30 days tasted delicious! He enjoyed it like no other glass he’d tasted.

The 30 day trial gives you:

1.    The time to establish a new habit
2.    An opportunity to break an addiction
3.    Success to draw on
4.    Definite results of your efforts for the past 30 days.

What do you want to do for your trial 30 days?

The company’s mission is to promote Canadian films and ensure they receive the audiences they deserve.  Here’s her guest post on what she’s learned in the process of doing this.

Joy’s Three Truths

Tapping into my love of promoting and programming, earlier this year I launched a new company – Exposure Film – which provides marketing and promotion services to independent filmmakers and arranges exhibitions of Canadian films.

I’ve enjoyed the two-fold benefit of endorsing the work of talented filmmakers while sharing a variety of short and feature films to audiences across Canada as well as in faraway places like Ghana, Malaysia, Tanzania and the Ukraine.

I’ve discovered a few simple truths in my new career path.

Truth #1 – Surround Yourself With Good People.

Filmmakers do this during production so it makes sense to also surround yourself with professionals during the marketing and exhibition phase. In his book, Think Outside the Box Office, filmmaker and marketing visionary, Jon Reiss encourages filmmakers to hire a Producer of Marketing and Distribution (a PMD).

In November 2010, producer Polly Washburn hired me as the PMD for Shelagh Carter’s first feature film, Passionflower.  I started working with the Passionflower team at the rough cut stage by coordinating test screenings, developing marketing materials, and strategizing a plan for festival screenings and exhibitions. I’m proud to say the experience has been a good one for us all.

Having a dedicated person with fresh eyes and new energy manage this final phase in the life of your film is as important as making a good film. Filmmaking is a team sport.

Truth #2 – Shine Your Light!

Quebec actor, film director & writer, Claude Jutra, states “not making the films you want to make is awful, but making them and not having them shown is worse”. Once production is complete and a film has been mastered it’s understandable filmmakers will feel drained and exhausted.

A considerable amount of time, energy & financial resources has already been invested and, combined with a few festival rejections or slumping box office numbers, it’s simply easier to move onto other projects before fully exploring and realizing the exhibition opportunities.

This reality combined with the typical Canadian modesty of quietly waiting for success to find us is a devastating combination. I can’t help but hear my island relatives saying, “you can’t hide under a bush!”  Your work needs to shine and the best way to do that is under the bright lights of a projection screen. As Reiss writes in his book, “film is about connection. Connecting with an audience and having that interaction feed your soul.”  Films must been be seen on screens in order for people to know how good they are.

Truth #3 – Audiences Are Hungry To See Great Canadian Films.

As a patriotic Canadian, nothing brings me more satisfaction than seeing our stories and people presented on screens to appreciative audiences. During my festival travels earlier this year, I marvelled at theatres filled with people eager to see the newest Canadian indie films.

Both screenings of the VIFF ”Water” shorts program (which included NSI Drama Prize film, Wait For Rain) were sold out.  At the VIFF world premiere screening of Passionflower the audience stayed in their seats an additional 45 minutes for the Q&A discussion.  The thoughtful questions and comments was evidence the audience connected with and appreciated the work of this talented director.

After two decades working in the Canadian film & TV industry it’s no surprise to me that audiences are enjoying Canadian film. They simply have to see them and that’s why filmmakers must be supported and encouraged to seek exhibition opportunities.   Between festivals, public screenings and online platforms there a many opportunities to connect your film to an appreciative audience.

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So many of my clients feel nervous about putting themselves forward. They associate selling yourself with bragging, having a too large an ego or just being plain uninterested in anyone else.

First of all, we are all participating in self promotion whether we are conscious of it or not.  The way we dress, talk and engage with people is selling ourselves in situations. We want to be liked and accepted.

Secondly, if you tap into the reason you are doing what you are doing, your natural energy comes forward.

As soon as one of my clients begins to describe what they do or want to do, they are immediately infused with excitement. They are totally passionate about what they love. People they are talking to are always very interested to hear that kind of energy.

That’s self promotion – coming from the undeniable place of your enthusiasm. Just you talking about what you love to do and sharing it with people who may need you, your product or your services .

Some truths are emerging from the discussions with the participants. I believe that everyone’s goal is to work as a team – getting the job done, using our skills and having fun in the process.

However, bullies on set cast such a pall over any enjoyment derived from our work.

Certainly, some of their on-set behaviour can be attributed to the long hours. After a couple of weeks of 12-hour days, most people are sleep-deprived and can easily blow their fuses.

Sometimes there’s tension about the budget – enough to have people tearing out their hair looking for ways around the lack of dollars. But does that really justify the people who yell, scream, intimidate and generally make life unpleasant for everyone they come in to contact with?

The challenge in our industry (and this maybe true for others) is that the bullies get away with this kind of behaviour. They go from set to set tyrannizing everyone they encounter because they are highly skilled or save the producer money, or no-one else is available. No one confronts them. In fact, we sometimes reward people who act in totally unacceptable ways with awards like producer of the year.

So how to handle this very tricky challenge? For those who encounter it, it’s a minefield, especially if the bully is the boss.

First, acknowledge that you are not alone

Nearly 40% of people experience bullying at work. More men are bullies, but women tend to pick on other women. Bosses are the worst offenders. More than 70% of bullies are in charge. The underlying motivation for the bully is power and, as awful as it may feel, it really has nothing to do with you. Hard to swallow when the rage is being directed at you.

If you are the target, take care of yourself

Look for support from your friends and family. It’s important the bully’s intimidation doesn’t erode your sense of yourself. Often people who are bullied experience stress like anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Protect yourself against taking the attacks personally.

Begin to document the incidents that occur

Be observant of the times and the people the bully targets. Look for possible support from others who maybe experiencing the same intimidation you are. Talk with them and strategize what the best approach might be.

Bullies only continue when they get away with such behaviour. If they’re called on it by a number of people, they may change their ways. Ideally, when people in authority find out, they won’t tolerate harmful behaviour on their set. That could really hurt the bully where it hurts the most – in the pocketbook.

If you are the target of bullying on set, talk to your union rep or check out this website. It has a number of resources that could help in dealing with the bully. Or you can contact me to help develop some healthy strategies for coping with the bully.