micki michelle

Damnit Bastard

2010-04-07T20:27:00.017-04:00

I feel like I owe you an apology.

First off, I'M ALIVE!

It's a miracle.

I've been on a secret mission in all my wonderfulness seeking a cure for Super Hero's who've lost their mojo or lost their way.

Am I making any sense whatsoever?

No?

Good.

You know how I hate being figured out.

I have moods, you see. Moods that make me moody. And the crap that's in my head I don't always want to put on here – although maybe I'll scare you one day and put it all out there.

Have you ever been in a mood and it's such that you didn't even want to talk about it? How about for, say, a month or twelve? Don't you just love me even more?

It's a characteristic of my dashing personality. Yeah, yeah. That's it. I'm an enigma even to myself and I'm considering hiring a private detective to get to the bottom of it.

Well, the warm weather has not only brought out all of the neighbors and their yapping dogs, but also these-

I was in the woods today and quickly learned not, I repeat NOT to walk in the leaves. I screamed, the snake screamed and then slithered off only to turn around and stick its tongue out at me while I was yelling, “DAMNIT BASTARD”.

So, not only do I have to contend with my neighbors and their yappy dogs outside, but these slimey creatures that are making my retreat in the forest less than comfortable.

And it didn't happen just once. Oh, no - I was stalked twice and that's the way it happened last summer too. It's a reunion. Me, medium-sized girl started carrying big stick. I guess I figured I would clobber the next one I found. Can you get in trouble for that? Like, by the PETA Police or something?

So, after I talked myself out of not leaving the forest, I started wondering if we could just get rid of all the snakes. Do we really need them for our ecosystem? They eat mice, right? To keep the population down? I can live with mice. Mice are like gerbils, and gerbils are pets and they're furry and they run round-and-round in a wheel for our entertainment. See? Cute. NOT slimey.

A good friend of mine used to have a snake as a pet, because she's not normal, and I decided to visit and do a little desensitization therapy. Get over your fear by facing the feared object and learning to breath and relax and become less sensitive to the stimuli.

Yes, doctor. I'm ready.

The snake was taken out of it's aquarium and my friend held it so I could ever-so-gingerly touch its back, making sure to keep its head away from mine. My scrunched up face was the mirror for my insides but I was doing it. And then this “friend” started putting the snake closer and closer, which she found SO amusing, and I was seriously scared and then...then what does she do?

She puts it down on the floor to slither around.

I was still trying to put up a brave front (watching from the other room that is!) because I'm no fool, and as I watched, it slithered toward the dining room table and circled my purse that I'd left next to the chair I was sitting on. And then? Oh Mercy. And then it goes INTO my purse and curls up. Because it was tired I suppose.

Awww. Snake To Go. Cute.

Can you imagine getting into your car and driving down the road while this thing decides to come out?

This is the same friend that poured a bucket of worms on my head when we were children. As you can see, not much has changed. I still love her.

A Tiny Million Pieces

2010-03-07T15:57:00.000-05:00

I was in the grocery store this morning making my way towards the aisle with the Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. When I got to this goody that I've been depriving myself of, I found a man, probably in his seventies, neatly but humbly dressed and quiet in demeanor.

He was blocking my reach so I stood back with my cart patiently waiting as he studied the various brands of chocolate syrup. He'd pick one up, check the price, put it back on the shelf and then go through his large folder of coupons.

He repeated this several times without realizing I was five feet behind him and my heart began to break in a million tiny pieces watching an elderly man make the pain-staking decision of whether or not he could justify buying chocolate syrup. You might think he was just making wise decisions, but have you ever watched something from a distance and felt like you knew exactly what was going on?

That's the way it felt to me.

After a few minutes I gave the polite “excuse me” and reached around to get my syrup and headed off to another part of the store where the pangs of sadness flooded me. His generation were typically hard workers and proud of that and there's still social security for them and why on earth was this decision so hard for him?

I should've done something – something that wouldn't have embarrassed him. I could've had his bill put on my credit card and told the cashier to tell him there was an anonymous person that wanted to buy groceries for the 180th person in line just to do something nice for someone – but I didn't. I was busy running my own errands, checking the time, picking the shortest line so I could get home quicker, to cook and enjoy a tall glass of chocolate milk.

But the chocolate syrup sits on a shelf in my pantry, unopened.

I don't know why.

I wonder if I'd recognize this gentle man if I saw him again. I never really saw his face.

If I ever do, I'll let you know how it turns out.

Match A Meal

2010-02-27T12:10:00.000-05:00

We're covered in a blanket of fresh snow here in the Northeast. I really didn't take this storm that seriously – until I looked out and saw my car covered with at least a foot of snow - and the driveway that's about eighty feet long? Sitting there waiting to be shoveled.

Renters Rights!

Where are they?

I recently learned we've been shoveling out before the landlord gets here and when the people that live on the other side of this 2-family house get out there and start working, it only seems fair I chip in. And in the end? It's helping to burn off the pizza I ate for too many nights in a row this week. It was survival, man.

Speaking of food, early one morning before The Big Storm I had to run to the grocery store “for milk” and somehow ended up circling around an aisle of crunchy goodies in bags that contained copious amounts of delicious fat that I have not partaken of in quite some time.

I returned home with my Bag O' Goodies to create Match A Meal.

It looked like this-

Cheetos

Oh no you didn't!

Oh yes I did.

Mother Nature, Dirty Minds

2010-02-21T18:53:00.002-05:00

I'm alive!

Is it possible for your mood to drop from the sky, hit the ground and lay there feeling beaten up for an extended freaking period of never-ending time?

Why, yes it is!

Maybe I really do have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), but unlike most people, I don't want a name for it. My mood may have weakened but my mind is strong. I want that voice in my head to say, “Come on girl. Pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get on with life.” “Hop to it!”

If you were on a private island with everyone and everything you needed or skiing on beautiful mountains or doing whatever it is that you love -

Would you be feeling so glum?

Me neither.

So whether you're hanging on by a string,

Or just need a little support,

Or have no legs and no head, but you can stretch your arms towards the heavens.

You can choose to see the world through rose colored glasses.

Whether you're an exotic beauty,

Or feeling small and insignificant,

Your roots may be rough, but in the end you grow beautiful blossoms.

Maybe your entire body looks like two big ears,

Or you cling to someone bigger and stronger than you.

Or you're looking for the way out...

Just remember, Mother Nature has a good sense of (adult) humor.

Now where did She put my Super Hero cape...

Happy Vingles Day

2010-02-14T12:36:00.001-05:00

I'm starting a movement. Valentine's for the Singles = Vingles. That sounds like a disease, doesn't it.

Valingles? Nah.

Valeningles? Still not feeling the love and it's starting to sound like a private holiday from Little House on the Prairie with Ma and Pa Ingalls.

Valensingles. That's just another reminder that we're single but has a ring to it.

Silentine's. Something about that reminds me of Christmas..

I have to work on the name (feel free to leave one in the comments), it's where all the people who are lonely and don't get cared for every. single. day. of the year. get some love man, BECAUSE WE NEED IT. How 'bout we celebrate that and give to the needy?

Where are the givers?

I've been eating chocolate all week and had it as breakfast this morning, because that's what you do, right?

You start a week ahead of time to consume as much chocolate as possible. But it's organic so it's healthy. Yeah, yeah. That's it. This, from someone who rarely eats candy. I'm just not much of a sugar person, although that may be changing as I've found myself craving cake from time to time.

One of my closest friends is obsessed with cake. I'm not kidding. It's her addiction. When she told me that and told me (in all seriousness) she was trying really hard to wean herself FROM CAKE, all I could think of is that that's got to be the cutest addiction I've ever heard of. Awww. Seriously? Cake?

My celebration this year will consist of humbly serving the lovers out there the most fabulous dinner EVER. All that, while wearing a ridiculous new shirt that someone thought was a good idea. Not only is it too expensive for what we do, it looks like something circa 1985. Ho hum.

The picture up top was taken while looking straight up in the middle of a gazebo standing on the edge of a mountain near Momma's house. They do a lot of weddings there because the view is amazing. What I didn't realize until I downloaded the pictures onto my computer is that the design makes whimsical hearts. Or butt cheeks, whichever you prefer.

You're Brilliant

2010-02-13T15:02:00.000-05:00

I took down my Christmas “tree” today!

Yes, that is my big exciting news.

I told you I was going to keep it up for a while. It's more like a topiary really and it's decorated more for Winter than Christmas. I don't have a fireplace so it gave a nice glow in the living room during these chilly nights.

I'm in one of my minimalist phases where I'm feeling like I've accumulated too much stuff. Too much stuff means work. Work to keep things organized, dusted, cleaned. So, I packed up a bunch of Christmas stuff that I never use and added that to the pile I'm donating to the Salvation Army. I have one rule about Christmas – nothing with glitter on it because you will never get rid of it.   BUT I AM! I'm getting rid of all those Christmas balls full of glitter.

You know what I'm talking about. For the people that send cards and a bunch of glitter falls out when you open them? Not, funny.

We've made a discovery here in The Hood in regards to these snow storms we've been getting and maybe this will help someone else out too. Not everyone has a driveway here. About half the people park their cars on the street and the other half have driveways. Our driveway is maybe one-hundred feet long and we've figured out that we can offer the people without driveways, use of ours.

If we get enough cars, once the storm is over they can all pull out and NO ONE WILL HAVE TO SHOVEL. Well, not much anyway. And also? The plow trucks and completely clean our street. Win, win, win.

It only took us a couple of years to figure this one out.

For the record, I'm still cooking. But it's a lot of re-dos. My latest discovery is the use of boiled potatoes. I use Yukon Gold potatoes but use whatever you like. Boil whole or cut up potatoes until tender and then refrigerate. For your next meal you can dice them up to frying them, mash them or eat them as they are (frying already cooked potatoes takes a lot less time than uncooked ones).

Fritata with ham and potatoes.

I fried some up to use in a fritata and also included ham. You can do a search on You Tube for various video recipes. I'd found a sale on eggs but had to buy two 18 counts of eggs and was looking for a way to use the eggs up. I use 9 eggs per fritata and add whatever you like to it. I only use three or four egg yolks. What's great about is, it's an entire meal on its own. You cook once, then simply microwave when hungry. Very easy, even for a girl like me.

Cheese Fritata, fried potatoes and salsa.

Untitled

2010-02-12T10:54:00.001-05:00

We got about a foot of snow here. I kept looking outside at the falling flakes and wondered where the heck my fellow Hoodling neighbors were.

No one was outside. The snow kept falling. And falling. And it was as though no one cared.

We were all tucked away in our homes without much concern as to what was happening outside - until I saw on the news that towns all around us were losing power. Then, there was a loud CRACK followed by a slow screeching noise, like fingernails down a chalkboard and finally, THUMP.

A huge tree limb in my backyard broke and scraped all the way down the house before finally reaching the ground.

Still, no one was outside. No sidewalks shoveled, no cars shoveled out. The snow was getting deeper, it was getting dark outside and everything was wonderfully silent. And I realized, everyone got to stop for a while. Stop the running around, the errands, the constant busyness that takes up so much of our life that we seldom sit still long enough to enjoy it.

We were briefly forced back to a simpler time and even I stood in my kitchen lovingly stirring a sauce for enchiladas with more care and attention than I usually have.

It makes me wonder if a more simple life isn't a better one. If
generations before us were happier without all the noise and if fifty or a hundred years ago everyone was running around saying, “If I only had the time!” “Where do you find the time?”

I guess that's why I like the nature so much. It gives you its time. It doesn't bombard you with commercialism or care what the label is on your clothing. It embraces you exactly as you are. It listens when you talk and gives you room to think. It is quietly there for you to enjoy and simply, be.

Success is not the Result of Your Efforts

2010-02-10T15:17:00.005-05:00

If you work from home and there's a blizzard, do you get to take the day off? Because everyone else is off?

That makes it like a holiday, right?

Should I speak in questions this entire post?

We have about 7-8 inches of snow and it's still coming down. In some areas they'd laugh at that. "That's nothing. Our kids walk to school in that all the time, with bare feet, no coats and throwing frisbees around." Here in beach country they're not used to it.

I have not been doing such a great job here. I know, I know. I own it. What do you do when the writer doesn't feel like writing?

When there's nothing funny to share, no highlights, no witty thoughts – when everything feels glum but then you feel guilty because you should be grateful for all the little things. Damn it, the mind can mess with you.

I'd like to just be a reader for a while, but that's not going to work here. I can't come here and read stuff I haven't written. I could just stare at the page but that'd be a huge waste of time and I can hear that saying now that time is our most valuable asset. We all have the same amount but it's what you do with it that counts. Yeah, yeah.

So what do I do? Keep writing even though I know it's second rate or wait until I feel inspired and run in here adorned in my shiny cape with fingers dancing on the keyboard hoping something meaningful or funny will come out?

Maybe it's like relationships - there are times you don't feel as close, or going to school where you struggle through certain classes, or life, when things don't always go perfectly smooth. They say success is not the result of your efforts, it's the fact that you never stopped trying. Just writing that made me feel better.

I guess I answered my own question.

Super Bowl Sunday

2010-02-07T16:15:00.000-05:00

It's Man Day!

A testosterone-laden day where men in tights chase each other around a field and tackle one another, and then more men will pile on top. And they'll hug, and pat each others butts and with any luck, give us a quick dance move or gesture to entertain the crowd.

That's my favorite part, the dancing. It's funny to see these tough guys in tights acting silly and it's a bummer they've restricted them from doing too much anymore. I guess it was getting a little out of hand and took away from the “team” and started making it more about the individual. That's what I'd read, anyway.

So, if you're like me and know very little about football and only watch for the touchdown dances and commercials, this one's for you-

Organic Paper Shredder

2010-02-06T11:09:00.002-05:00

We got blasted last night. By snow, that is.

It's not as big a storm as the last one but there's about 6 inches with another 5 or so expected, pending which report you listen to. It was all nice and quiet, but ever so slowly the neighbors are venturing outside to dig their way out of this white blanket we're covered in. The only neighbor I'm concerned with right now though, is the one blasting their music in the room below me. Joy. I should've asked Santa for a new home for Christmas.

I'd like to sit out the shoveling for this storm thankyouverymuch. I'll stay in the kitchen - because I can cook with confidence now! - let the men handle the hard labor.

Speaking of cooking, I've slowly been adapting what I eat and trying to be more organic. I've also been more conscious about turning off lights when I'm not in the room and doing my part to conserve energy - translation: conserve money. So this morning, when a piece of paper slid off of the table and onto the floor, and kitty started shredding it to pieces, I knew she finally had a purpose. Organic Paper Shredder.

The best part is, the minute I'd grab my camera she'd stop and ever-so-innocently sit in that proper kitty pose and we'd have a staring contest for ridiculously long periods of time. And under her breath I could hear her murmuring, “What? You think just because I'm a cat I'm dumb enough to be filmed shredding your financial documents? What are you, stupid?”

Mute

2010-02-05T18:01:00.000-05:00

I've been MUTE this past week.

I don't know what it is. I'm just - quiet.

I remember some time last Winter writing that I felt like I was in hibernation.

I obviously haven't kept up with the 'one new recipe per week' but I HAVE been cooking. I've made chicken enchiladas, chicken marsala with steamed broccoli, tacos, brown rice, pasta fagioli, garlic bread, salad! (hee) beef stroganoff and a fritata.

My entire world doesn't stop anymore because I'm reading a recipe, line-by-line, several times over to make sure I'm doing it exactly correct. I can now walk in the door, throw a pot of water with beans on the stove and make soup while I'm doing other things.

That's progress, right?

As I write this, I wish my neighbors would practice their own “muteness”. That would make me very happy.

So yeah. Everything's fine here. I'm just very very quiet. Why does that remind me of Elmer Fudd?

Promise Yourself

2010-02-02T19:14:00.001-05:00

A while ago we did an American Idol Shout-out on here with people posting comments LIVE during the show about their favorite contestants and what they thought about who. It was fun. You can read that here.

I literally posted the Grammy announcement the very minute the show was starting and hadn't even mentioned it to anyone I know in person – so, it was a party for one. But man did they put on a performance. I haven't watched an awards show in quite a while. This one I thought was worth it.

I'm having my post-winter blahs. And I like winter! Doesn't make much sense but it always happens around this time of year. It's not as bad as last year though, and I'm grateful for that. Speaking of being grateful, that's something I need to be more mindful of. I need to remind myself of all the little things I'm grateful for and put that out there in the Universe. It's so easy to get caught up in the complaining and obsessing over “what's not perfect yet”.

It's not about “perfection” really, it's just the mindset. I learned that instead of thinking in terms of “what's wrong” to think about situations that “aren't perfect yet.” To me, it has a whole different feeling behind it.

So, me and my fussy self will leave you with something that one of my best friends gave me several years ago that means a lot to me. I don't know who the author is but I hope there's something in it of value to you.

PROMISE YOURSELF to be so

strong that nothing can disturb your peace

of mind. To talk health, happiness and

prosperity to every person you meet. To

make all your friends feel that there is

something in them. To look at the sunny

side of everything and make your optimism

come true. To think only of the

best, to work only for the best and expect

only the best. To be just as enthusiastic

about the success of others are you are

about your own. To forget the mistakes of

the past and press on to the greater

achievements of the future. To wear a

cheerful countenance of all times and give

every living creature you meet a smile. To

give so much time to the improvement of

yourself that you have no time to criticize

others. To be too large for worry, too noble

for anger, too strong for fear and too

happy to permit the presence of trouble.

It's Grammy Night!

2010-01-31T20:01:00.005-05:00

I know this is coming out on very short notice and no one will probably see it, but if you're watching the Grammy's tonight and want to chime in with any comments, leave them in the comments section.

I hope to see you there, although I'll probably be talking with myself most of the night.

Have fun!

**Hit your REFRESH button every couple of minutes to follow the latest comments. It's the button at the top of your screen with arrows going up and down (Internet Explorer) or an arrow that scrolls around making the letter "C" (Firefox) pending which browser you're using. Or, simply hit your F5 button.

Cooking for Aliens?

2010-01-30T15:40:00.001-05:00

I woke up this morning and headed straight for the kitchen – to cook. Something possessed me to make chicken marsala, boiled potatoes and brocolli.

Maybe the urge to cook for hours this morning had something to do with the fatalistic dreams I had last night. They were so vivid that I could recount most of the details several hours later - I was on a sidewalk, looked up and a planet resembling Saturn, but was orange and purple with delicate scrolled designs attached, was low and moving very quickly and I knew instantly something was terribly wrong.

Basically, what ended up happening was we were being attacked by some other-worldly creatures. At one point someone was admiring my blue high heels and I told them they were antiques - because it's practical to be wearing antique high heels when you have to run for your life. At least I was stylish in my dreams.

The next fun-filled adventure was on top of some extremely tall and narrow mountain peak that I knew was about to fall over. These two people jumped over the side and the rest of us stood there in horror until we heard them laughing.

Apparently, they knew there was a ledge on the side and it was “safe” - until their weight was too much and the structure began to tilt and crumble. I edged my way back to something resembling a ski gondola where the rest of the people were, and with my back to it I linked my arms inside the window just as the mountain collapsed beneath me.

There I was, hanging in the sky by nothing more than my arms wrapped around metal and the people inside trying to pull me in to safety. Time stood still and I could hear my thoughts telling me to focus. And then I opened my eyes and I was safely tucked away in my bed.

So me, the Non-Cook, and my urgency to cook this morning may have something to do with making my last meal, and I won't have to worry about new recipes anymore! Maybe I'll be a famous chef for the aliens. Maybe NASA will contact me to work with them as a visionary and I can escape The Hood. Maybe the psychiatric ward will be calling for less glamorous reasons.

And maybe I read something somewhere that put that little story in my head.

The mind. It's a terrible thing to waste.

Perspective

2010-01-28T19:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn’t make it back earlier in the week as I had hoped, but I’m back.

My computer had to go to the doctor for serious repair and I kept hesitating because like a lot of us, I rely on my computer so much these days. Who needs magazine subscriptions when you can read them on-line and with the touch of a few keys I can monitor and do my banking and keep in touch with people.

So finally, I dropped the computer off and returned home. I’m not a parent but I imagine it felt like leaving your kid at someone’s house that you don’t know all that well. It also felt like I went back in time. No watching netflix movies instantly, no constant contact through emails, no catching up on the latest news and gossip.

OMG! WHAT DO I DO?

I never thought I’d hear myself say this but it was weird being without it. I wasn’t on the internet for nearly a week.

I cooked, I cleaned, I organized and I tried to throw out, donate or give away nearly half of everything I own. Not really half, but just the clutter because I’m a girl that could live comfortably in a cushy hotel room with little more than what I actually need. Throw in a couple of items to personalize it and I’m good to go.

And you know what I came to realize? You get so much done without the distraction of a computer beckoning for your time. And then when they called to say I could pick it up I actually delayed going and waited until they were almost closed. I’d found a certain peace in being more present in my life without all the internet noise, but I also found myself in the dark in regards to banking and email and hoping I wasn’t missing anything.

When I finally picked up my computer it was like seeing someone who’s undergone shock therapy. A mere fragment of who they used to be. The life of it had been stripped to the bone. The stories, the pictures, the emails, all gone only to be replaced by a big void and most of it unrecognizable. Little by little, I’m finding bits and pieces of the past and setting up the email accounts and such.

Then, the whirlwind really started. I had the computer back but could not connect to the internet. I talked with my cable provider, HP, the wireless network and everyone had me run tests with no resolution. Some days I’d start off making phone calls to tech support at 5am and then after work I’d be on the phone until 10pm to resolve the issue.

I started speaking a different language using terms like “Pinging Google” and “IP Config” and then the technicians would speak back to me in the same language and I’m like, “Dude, I have NO idea what you’re talking about. I’m just reading off of my notes.” And finally the problem was solved, which was not my doing by the way.

And in the meantime, after all that cleaning my vacuum broke for good, one of my phones died, I lost cable for a period of time and a work-related issue cost me a $150. It was an expensive week costing me about $600.and I’m sure the Haitians would feel really sorry for me. “Too bad about your vacuum cleaner. We sure don’t need those LIVING IN TENTS!”

Yeah. Perspective.

Question for the Ladies

2010-01-22T14:42:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe it's Friday already. Whew! My days are still not straight and I'm looking forward to getting back to my normal schedule. Somehow it feels like that is never going to happen.

If you want to see a picture of a knee recovering from being replaced, see below. For the squeamish - it's not that bad. It looked more scary with all the staples in it and there are bandages that stay on until they fall off on their own. The purple marks are still there from the surgeon and they fade in time. He said they write all over you to make sure there are no mistakes - such as replacing the wrong knee or removing the wrong limb.

Poppy's still in pain and physical therapy is brutal but he's coming along. I still haven't sold him on the whole skirt idea but I think it helped somewhat when I told him I'm making it in camouflage. Momma even agreed that it'd be practical. Hee. We'll get him a skirt yet.

I'll be without a computer for a few days while it's off at the doctors so I won't be around. In the meantime, I have a very important question that pertains mostly to the ladies (because our salon bills are much higher than the men folk) -

How much, or what percentage do you tip your hair stylist?

Inquiring minds need to know.

I'll explain more later.

I'm leaving a poll (on the upper right hand corner of page) if you don't want to write in the comments section. Thanks!

Be back as soon as I can - hopefully early next week.

Medical Photography?

2010-01-19T19:25:00.003-05:00

I got a couple of comments from people saying they liked the picture (the failure) from yesterday. Who knew! Maybe my bad pictures are really good, and the ones I think are good are eh, not so, and maybe I don’t have a clue as to what I’m doing.

Yeah?

No?

If you could’ve seen what it looked like in person you'd realize what a disappointment this is. Want more crappy pictures? Here’s the full line-up of them - again in that weird camera setting I didn’t realize was on -

And I was all Indiana Jones trying to get that picture too. I had to jump across a very deep trench - all of FOUR WHOLE FEET DEEP - which I don’t think I’ve done since I was a kid, and then crawl up a ~~mountain~~ hill to mess up that picture. But I thank you all for the comments.

I’m not responding to any emails at this moment because I’m still not convinced my computer isn’t infected with some kind of flu or virus and I don’t want to spread my technical germs. The computer doctor said it’s clean but I’m not entirely convinced yet. If you asked for a copy of that picture I’m more than happy to get rid of it and will forward it soon.

Tomorrow I head out very early to be Nurse Ratched for Poppy and see if he‘s up to doing a fitting for a skirt I designed for him and his stocking self.

Maybe I’ll take pictures of his scars, in the name of practicing my photography skills. Maybe I’ll post them here (with his consent), but he just had the staples removed and damn if they didn’t add a little drama to the whole thing.

Happy Martin Luther King Day

2010-01-18T20:11:00.003-05:00

On Saturday I went on a big adventure to get away for the day. I went looking for the country-side hoping to get some good pictures. Pictures that I could share here - with you, you see. And after five or six hours of not finding much country left, and doing a lot of running into more McMansions, new developments and yet more shopping malls that we don’t need, I headed back home.

I was excited though about one particular group of pictures I‘d taken. The sun was setting and I’d found several beaten up greenhouses on a farm that stood side-by-side up on a hill. The sun was behind them casting gorgeous shades of yellows, oranges and browns making the rusty old things glow with a beauty all its’ own.

But when I downloaded the pictures onto my computer it turned out I had my camera on the wrong setting. I had been experimenting, learning to use more functions on the camera to get better pictures and everything was washed out. The brilliant sunset in the background was white and those gorgeous colors were so pale they‘re not worth sharing - but I will anyway. I'll share my failure. What the hell.

What not to do.

Today I started having problems with my computer which kept locking up and shutting down on me, and as a business owner my income tax and sales tax are coming due and can only be paid ON-LINE. I had the cash to pay them - I just didn’t have it in the bank yet. So I ran down to the bank first thing this morning and Happy Martin Luther King Day! We’re CLOSED.

Let’s all hold hands and do the pity party dance, shall we?

Oy. I’m in a mood today.

I'll be out of town for a few days again to care for Poppy. Catch you on the other side and Be Well.

IT'S SATURDAY

2010-01-15T14:59:00.001-05:00

A phone call I had with Momma today-

“How’s Poppy doing?" I asked.

“He’s coming along. It’s a painful process, you know? Bob and Sue (Poppy's son and daughter-in-law) will be coming over on Sunday and staying until Monday to visit with him”.

“You mean tomorrow.” I corrected.

“Sunday.” she stated.

“Tomorrow, Mom.” I corrected again.

“No, SUNDAY. TODAY’S FRIDAY.”

“MOM! STOP MESSING WITH ME! Seriously.” and as I was saying this I was reaching for my cell phone to check the calendar - and sure enough-

It’s Friday.

And why anyone didn’t tell me this before I took the day off is beyond me.

My days and nights are still screwed up from the past two months of playing business owner by day and dutiful humble servant by night.

I need an assistant. A lobotomy? Vacation? Perhaps just a calendar. A really big one.

Cross-dressing Poppy

2010-01-13T18:47:00.002-05:00

A couple of people inquired as to how Poppy is and he’s doing great, thanks. I just spent a couple of days with him and I’m grateful I’m walking around pain-free and not in his stockings right now.

Yes, stockings. Poppy is a cross-dresser these days and apparently he prefers white thigh-highs. They make you wear really tight white stockings after this kind of surgery that cover your legs when you ~~walk~~ shuffle around, which he isn‘t doing a lot of just yet.

He found it difficult using that bottle thing the guys use (to urinate) when you can’t get out of bed because the shorts he was wearing didn’t have a “guy flap”. He’s supposed to stay in shorts so his bandages are accessible and easier to change and he won’t have to move.

So, to add to his newly-sporting-cross-dressing look I told him I was going to design a skirt for him because it’d be practical. Big Grin. It would! He didn’t think it was funny being the manly-man hunter type guy he is. I told him I was going to pitch my design to the hospital and not to him and if they told him he had to wear a skirt, then a skirt it’ll be.

Besides, kilts are cool, right?

I used that argument with him and he still wasn't having it.

Volunteer Bitch

2010-01-10T15:31:00.001-05:00

Hello sore throat. I hear you but I do not welcome you.

This cold has been chasing me for the past week. I’ve been taking a decongestant and doing salt water sinus-flushes and that keeps it at bay but the minute I stop it comes right back. So, I’m resting and hoping that helps.

Am I the only one that has soup for breakfast when they’re not feeling well? I usually have chicken or vegetable broth but this morning I opted for chicken noodle - in a can - and I haven’t had canned soup in quite a while. I guess that’s good though because at least it was here and I didn‘t have to run out.

Oh, in the name of “resting”, I’m heading out of state again next week to care for Poppy (my dad) while he recovers from getting new knees and be his bitch for a few days while my mom is at work.

Before the surgery we talked and he thought it was funny that he’s going to get to boss me around, perhaps finding mundane things for me to do and wait until I sit down to ask me for yet another thing he doesn't really need and leverage this little situation he’s in.

But I, oh smart one, promptly reminded him that he may want to think about such talk carefully and that he’s the one that’ll be at my mercy.

“What are you going to do? Chase me around the house for that meal you’re so hungry for? I think not!”

“I’m busy. I have shopping to do and fingernails to paint. I'll find your pain killers later."

“REVENGE IS MINE!”

What’s funny (to me and probably only me) is that Poppy is one of the nicest guys in the world and we get along famously so don’t worry, I won’t be playing Nurse Ratched - unless he gets on my nerves. And then I'll just cough on him a few times.

Refresh and Renew

2010-01-08T21:27:00.001-05:00

I was out of town for a few days to attend a Memorial Service.

My heart ached for the family who tried to keep a brave face for all their visitors, but the tears leaked out no matter how hard they tried. I send them lots of love.

The following morning my parents and I got up at 3:30am to take Poppy (normally known as Pop - Dad - or Hey You, but I’ve altered his name for fun on here, and because I think it’s cute,) as I was saying, we took Poppy to a place to get new knees - otherwise known as knee replacement. And of course he had to be the first surgery of the day and we had a bit of a drive to get there but all went well.

He’s going to be brandy new soon. He says instead of knee replacement he’d like a total body replacement - just put his head on a 20 year old body and he’ll be good to go. He’s funny like that.

The time I was hoping to take off never happened and I’m pretty run down. I think if I read back over the past month or so of posts I could see it coming. So, I’m going to grab some rest when I can and I might be a little quiet on here for a bit so I can refresh - which sounds silly because how hard is it to sit back and type, right? Takes little energy but it does take using a tiny part of your brain and mine is a bit fried.

Refresh and Renew - it’s good for you! Yeah, yeah. And now I'm going to go collapse for a while.

Thanks for the Memories

2010-01-05T18:14:00.009-05:00

I was five years old when my family moved into a new neighborhood. Next door, there was a little brown-haired girl playing with her Barbie’s on her porch. I walked over and asked if I could play with her and we’ve been friends for thirty-seven years.

My friend’s family also owned several houses on a large property an hour away in the mountains. I’d spend weekends there and in the summer stay for several days. We’d swim all day pretending to be mermaids and put frogs in the pool and watch them swim through our goggles. We’d lay on the hot sidewalk in our bathing suits to warm our wet bodies after swimming and one time my friend dumped an entire bucket of worms on my head, because she thought was it funny.

In the winter we’d attach a sled to a snowmobile and my friend would always make me sit in the sled so she could whip me around and we’d ice skate on a natural pond in their woods - just the two of us. I’m not going to get into how I got a very bad black eye one winter, but it had something to do with her pushing me too fast on the ice and I didn’t know how to skate. I still owe her for that one.

I had many meals with her family, both at their home and out at restaurants. My friend is an only child and I have no sisters - so sisters we became. One night during the summer we made rice crispy treats and sat down to watch the scary movie, Tarantula, where spiders were crawling all over everyone and I guess taking over the world or something when we heard light tapping and screeching on the window. We were alone in the house and jumped out of our seats and ran to a corner of the room where we huddled in fear. And then the same sound came from another window.

Suddenly, her father whips open the door with a loud “AAAAGGH!” and we ran to him curling our little fists and pounding on him for scaring us while he laughed so hard his face turned red. It’s one of our favorite memories.

Her father was very tall with broad shoulders and brown hair. He was a man’s man and no one crossed him or his family, yet he was always very gentle and protective with us.

I found out today, that he died from cancer on Sunday. Just sixty years old.

I didn’t think I’d be writing about death again so soon.

I wanted to honor his memory in some way and say Thanks. Thanks for the fond memories, for all the good times, for being so very good to me when I was just a little girl. I always enjoyed my time with you and your family, and although in more recent years we didn’t see each other much - when we did, it was as though no time had passed at all.

You’re a good man and you’ll be missed terribly.

R.I.P. Bob

*This video does not come in a smaller size to fit here but it's so apropos that I still wanted to use it.

Working Dogs and Red Velvet

2010-01-03T05:11:00.004-05:00

It can be a weird transition going from business owner to the Best Servant Ever but I get to check my brain at the door and that works for me.

I’ve been ‘working like a dog’ and squirreling nuts away for when things slow down. Most dogs don’t even work so I don’t know who came up with that saying.

Ok, unless you’re counting Dalmatians that represent the fire company, and Police dogs that sniff out drugs and bombs and bring bad people to the ground, and seeing eye dogs and therapy dogs. Oh, and SHOW DOGS. All that primping and running around in circles and maintaining the proper stance while you get felt up by a judge. I find that very odd.

It’s been a blur since Thanksgiving. On Friday I thought it was Saturday and I told someone it was two days after Christmas. I think somewhere in the back of my little brain I meant New Years but even that was still wrong.

Yesterday, the big plan was to *sleep* but the neighbors, whom I share a 2-family house with, would have none of that. Them and their bountiful energy thought it wise to vacuum before 9am and then play music on a stereo that is right below my bed. I cranked up the speed of the fan used to block out Hood Noise and pulled the covers over my head wondering if it’d be unneighborly to call and ask them to knock it the f*** off.

And then what do they do?

They show up at my door in the afternoon with homemade red velvet cupcakes because THAT'S HOW MY NEIGHBORS MESS WITH ME!

DAMNIT people.

New Year Road Map

2009-12-31T15:37:00.008-05:00

For Christmas I had a couple of my photographs enlarged and framed to give as gifts. I was really pleased with them and hoped others would appreciate them too.

The cool thing is, they did.

Not only did they appreciate them, but they stared at the images for a long time asking what I’d charge for something like that and saying that people would love photos like these and I should send them off to this and that magazines.

I sat there listening to their comments and compliments hoping they weren’t conjuring up fake enthusiasm just to make me feel good. But after more than an hour long conversation about how I should travel around taking similar pictures and sell them at artisan shows and how they know a couple of people that make very lucrative livings doing nothing than photographing bicycles for example, I realized that maybe they really meant it and perhaps The Universe was knocking at my door trying to get me to LISTEN.

I hear you!

It’s funny too because not long ago, I wrote about what I was looking for here. And there I was, on Christmas Eve, listening to them lay out the road map that matched similar criteria I wrote about, saying “Go here.”

Horse Saddle

So, I didn’t accomplish anything great this year but I have a direction I’m pursuing and we’ll see where it takes me. Maybe it’s capturing interesting images, maybe it’s a path leading me to something else. The cooking knife was very cool, but their enthusiasm and belief in me was the best Christmas present.

I wish you joy in the coming New Year and may your dreams, unfold before you.