Microstiff - Microsoft Outings of the Third Kind

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 22:28:00 +0000

Microstiff - More Awareness -- Part II

Honest, folks, I don't think I am an Apple Fanboy, at least not until I read Part II of the dude I turned you on to last week, Daniel Eran. Now it's kinda "don't ask, don't tell" for me.

This time, he talks about Microsoft's Plot to Kill QuickTime as a continuation of Mac Office, $150 Million, and the Story Nobody Covered and...I gotta tell yah...it's powerful stuff! And...it makes me wanna puke.

When you see it all so skillfully word-carved to us, you begin to see...even more...the sinister, evil behind the benign affectation of one Mr. Bill Gates! I am speechless.

Once again, a long but spellbinding read. You owe it to yourself, in your quest for truth...to read it.

Microstiff

Mini-Microsoft: Stirring the Microsoft Comment Pot on a Rainy Weekend

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 16:13:00 +0000

Microstiff – Denial Alert! Danger, Will Robinson!

I’d just like to pontificate a bit about the Microsoft “State of the Company.”

All too often, we humans fall into a false sense of security brought upon by our own denial and the acts of those who came before us. Case in point: Veterans Administration complacency.

Microsoft is behaving much like the VA. Its facilities (products) are crumbling, its services lacking, its management arrogant and its chain of command fat and happy and in blissful denial. Lucky for the VA and all veterans that someone can cause “heads to roll”. No such luck at the Softie.

And so, to the man in the greatest denial, Bill Gates, and to the chain of command and all their charges, I present you with this little vignette, this synopsis of the state of your company, today, March 13, 2007. We’ll call it the first Microstiff Microsoft State of the Company speech:

“Softies, I come before you today to shake you awake. Not that you’re asleep but, that you’re in a dream, self-induced dream which has each and every one of you as masters of your fate in a company that is poised on the edge of further unimagined greatness to the benefit of all mankind. For those of you inside of this dream, I attempt to shake you, to wake you with the following:

Your leaders have screwed with your biggest cash cow – your operating system. Not only is Vista, a backward step but, it has no compelling buying proposition, it forces people to purchase more hardware, it works with not a lot of programs and drivers and it inhibits productivity with its outrageous security interventions.

And then, as if to whip out the Derringer and fire off a round into le foote, your leaders announce that a new operating system, Vienna, is coming in 2009 (two short years away) and, oh, by the way, we're only going to support Vista for five (5) years!

Your leaders do this at a time when Apple comes out with a newer, better OS, when Ubuntu Linux is making great headway and perception of your treatment of governments, partners, stockholders and customers…is at an all time low.

What were you thinking? “Go ahead, I dare you, go somewhere else; we know what’s best for you but, more importantly, we don’t care what’s best for you and...we don't care what's best for us...we just...don't....care!”

Go somewhere else, they will, Softies! And what’s worse…you’ll actually be surprised!
Your leaders screwed with your 2^nd biggest cash cow – Office. It’s not really about the “Ribbon”, although that will cause some to jump ship; it’s how tightly you’ve integrated into your collaboration Office scheme with in-house servers only – Share Point. You’re building a walled garden at a time when the rest of the world is viewing the “Cloud” as the economical, “good enough” way to share information. It’s “good enough.”

Oh, this little game of “capture the IT Center” will work for many of your current customers but, not as many as you’d like. In effect, you are creating a chasm between you and your existing customers and new prospects. Just like your brutal assumptions re: Vista, you’re forcing a choice. To many, that choice – the Cloud – will give them all the collaboration they need for $50 a year (Google Apps)!

And, where were you when Google (painful to hear that name, isn’t it?), Corel and others knew enough to build “Cloud Word Processing/Spreadsheet Collaboration Lite”? It’s already far too late to get back any customers these solutions created. What would you promise them? Free Office Live? It’s a mess.

Build bridges, not chasms! Not your style, is it? And…it will doom you. What were you thinking?
Server Software – Well, what do you know? You pretty much left this cash cow alone. Someone done good. Unfortunately, while you primp the server software for bigger and better things, i.e. – collaboration, companies small and large are looking very closely at Web 2.0 – the Cloud. And, don’t forget, Office Live, all 190,000 stranded customers, eats into your server efforts! What were you thinking?
Cash Cows in Waiting? -- Nary a one:

· Office Live – Totally screwed. It’s really clear here that you are primarily a software company with big bucks and that is all! Office Live is a SERVICE and thus far, you’ve proven you’re NOT…with stranded customers, no responsive support, good software tied together with poor connectivity and more. And you’ve got Best Buy Geek Squad selling it. Those dudes and dudettes ain’t vertical. They’re hardware! What were you thinking?

Ray Ozzie? Totally beaten down. He’ll be in Swampscott by January.

· Search - With no compelling “buying proposition” for search users, your market share continues to dwindle and your search gurus jump ship. Totally screwed! What were you thinking?

· Branding – Is it Live or is it MSN? Is it HotMail or NotMail? Is Windows Live actually live? WTF were you thinking?

· Dynamic - Jeeze, you better hope you’ve got enough trained Softies to sell, train and support this Purchased-from-Great-Plains-and-Turned-into-Nothing-So-Far solution for MB businesses! Given that you are a software company and NOTHING ELSE, somehow, I doubt you will. What were you thinking!

· Zune - Tsk! You are a SOFTWARE COMPANY! That’s all!

Still not Convinced - Go here.

· Jeeze – I’m getting depressed and I don’t work there and have not stock!

Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, Lisa Brummel, Brad Smith and all Partners - Lou Gerstner, where are you?

CONCLUSIONS: You decide the state of the company. Let’s say I’m your teacher in a high school business class. I propose the above scenario to you. I summarize by saying,

Let’s review. This company has somehow made its two biggest selling products considerably less desirable to customers and never even consulted them about what they might like for features. Then, on every other project of any significance, they have failed miserably with no immediate relief in sight. Finally, they have failed to see the significance of Web 2.0.

Class, what is your prognosis for this company? What say you?"

I think some of us can guess the answer, can't we. After all, some of us are not in denial."

Denial Alert concluded. Carry on.

Mini-Microsoft: Stirring the Microsoft Comment Pot on a Rainy Weekend
Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 23:21:00 +0000

Microstiff - A New Level of Microsoft Awareness

I have been following this dude for a couple of weeks now and, even though he's very pro-Apple, he's a prolific writer of truths of all shapes and sizes. And so, for Softies and Softie-files alike, I introduce -or reintroduce - you to him because...along with Joe Wilcox, he's good; he's real good.

He's somewhat long winded but, he spins a convincing tale. As a writer, I am amazed at his level of understanding of his subject matter and, like Joe Wilcox, I wonder where he gets the "time" to write all of this and write it so well.

Give him a try because...he's raised my level of understanding of just how deep-seated the culture of evil just may be at your beloved company with this Sunday afternoon article. Should you wade through it...you WILL be enlightened! Nuff said.

Microstiff

Mini-Microsoft: Stirring the Microsoft Comment Pot on a Rainy Weekend
Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 13:18:00 +0000

Microstiff-It's Sunday "Praise the Empire" time again...

This is week 2 of a new Sunday ritual: "Praise the Empire". Lord knows it's easy to criticize the Softie. So...every Sunday, to provide balance to my thoughts, give credit where credit is due and be the good person I think I am or want to be...I'll dig up some "good stuff".

Update: Yeah, I know, it's Saturday! I'm taking a little road trip. See you Monday!

So far, it has been difficult for me but...I'm doing it...still! Like the nightly news, "good stuff" can be boring so...I'll try my best to put a humorous spin on it. Here goes:

Microsoft Purchases Firefox! - In a move that stunned the technical community, the Softie has just announced the purchase of the Firefox web browsing company, Mozilla, for an undisclosed price. Unknown to all but a few close confidants of Bill Gates, Uber-CEO and Chairman of the Board of Microsoft Corporation, the deal was signed this Friday. Concurrent with the signing, the www.msfirefox.com web site was also christened. Refer to it for additional information.
"From Russia with Luff" - Some kind words about Microsoft from our Putin-ized Russian friends. When you read it, it'll give you a new slant on the sincerity and kindliness of "the boys in red." Here's some more links by the author with kindly words for the Softie. Happy reading!
New Xbox Game Teaches 4 Year Olds Programming - "...kids can programme a robot in a simulated world to interact, travel among various objects created by them, and even eat a virtual apple." Kudos to the Softie for looking for new ways other than employing HB1 types...as programmers. Remember now, Bill, they have to have at least 4 hours of home schooling per day and cannot work more than eight (8) hours. And, do you think it's wise to introduce them to a ruthless competitive spirit; really, "Virtually Eating Apple"? Please!
Microsoft's Don Dodge speaks for (against?) the Company - Kudos to Bill and Steve for allowing Don Dodge, Microsoft Emerging Business Team to dump on MSFT Legal for dumping on Google. Brad...just shut up, will yah!

Oops! Once again, I slipped back to my old "Slap the Softie" ways. Face it, folks...it's just so easy!

And, once again I begin morphing back into Mr. Hyde. I'll Dr. Jekyll you next Sunday!

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 15:58:00 +0000

Microstiff-Friday Again...Time for F. N. Stoopit!

"Duh, hi, again! It's Friday, March 9, and here's my big 'ol rant: A big Duh-mbo! Award goes out to duh-what you guys at the Softie have been calling "LIVE". I heard that there's a whole passel of things

F. N. Stoopit!

you call "LIVE" down there in Redmond. In fact, everything that's got a name down there, you added that word "Live" to it; am I right?

Windows got Windows Live, Office got Office Live (I hear that Office Live isn't even bout Microsoft Office!), OneCare Live (which is some sort of way to give support to people and...it isn't even ONLINE...which means Live...to me!) I heard that-duh free towel program you've got down there is called Towel Live and...listen to this...they're cooking up a plan to call Windows Live...Windows Live Live to make it more live than them ones that ain't actually...that...live...like OneCare Live. Hey, based on what's come before it...it makes sense to me! You?

To me, L-I-V-E means "here", "right now". If I'm watching Saturday Night Live it's "here", "right now". If it's one of those reepeets, then at least I know it was live when folks were watching for the first time.

Now I've heard that you're firing all those big wigs associated with the "Live" program. I bet they're all feeling like getting fired is "here", "right now" aren't they! Where I come from you couldn't get much more LIVE than getting fired! In fact, my uncle, Billy Bubba Bob "Crawdaddy" Crawford was fired from the post office the other day. It was done Live and so was the rounds of buckshot he pumped into the front of the Post Office trailer!

Anyway, I've got solution to all this Live stuff. All the information we're looking for is in one of three (3) places. The server down the hall, the computer on my desktop and the place they call the Cloud...which is sort like the server down a longer hall. That way, if the programs you want are on the server down the hall, you call it Server Services. If they're on your Desktop, you call it Desktop Services and...if they're in the Clouds, you call it what? That's right...Cloud Services!

But that'd be way to simple so...you know the Softie isn't gonna do that. Softie don't play that!

Update: Now I heard that they're giving "Live" over to the "Windows" boys; you know the "cash cow with shrinking hooters"! How the hell are THEY gonna make things happen? They can't get Vista right! Dang...everybody including my dog "Ubuntu" knows that!

"That's all I got. See you next Friday!"

P.S. - "You know, I swear, it still just doesn't make any sense to me that a company with 70,000 folks a shuffling around down there couldn't ask one or two of them what they should name this stuff.

"But...I'm the only one that's F. N. Stoopit!...right?"

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Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 22:35:00 +0000

Microstiff- Day 1 on Campus as Softie Evangelizer

Well, Thomas Hawk recommends, in his 4^th and final step to turn around Microsoft, that... “…rather than one or two top evangelists though they should hire about 30 of these connectors and also give them direct access to the executives making the business decisions at Microsoft.” I was the 30^th, they told me...when they said, "welcome aboard." Tsk.

Hey, no big deal since I was the only one who convinced Bill we needed at least these two (2) primary conditions in place to make things work:

Impromptu video shoots by this Blogger ...all with fun…yet tough questions to all of the interviewees AND access, as Hawk recommends, to everyone, from Bill to the janitor.

These are to be “in camera” edits which means no 2^nd and 3^rd takes; the OFF button will be the only scene change; i.e. “cuts-only”.

I impressed Bill with my lengthy experience as a wedding videographer and my many stand-up comedy gigs. One with Yakov Smirnov (sorry, Rusky-philes, he's from Iowa). My wedding examples spoke for themselves as did my witty repartee.
Transparency. No question is off limits. Subjects simply don’t have to answer. This will have the effect of bringing the elephant into focus – you know… the one in the room. It will be a promised breath of fresh air. Since my experience is more the computing industry, training, sales, marketing with a strong background in computing – BS/MIS, Northeastern University, Boston, MA, this additional "well-roundedness" made me ideal for the job.

And so, it began... the last of 30 guys and gals ferreting out the good stuff. Lord knows, with 70,000 employees, there’s plenty there. Just got to go “shoot” it.

As Bill and I shook hands, he also thanked me for stopping this incessant negative Microsoft Blogging as "Microstiff". I said, “you’re welcome, Bill, but remember, this is all going to be transferred humorously…to video. Same truthfulness, different medium.”

He paused for one of his 180 IQ nano-seconds and said, “Yup, lets’ hope it works.”

I said, “Oh, it will. It’s gonna be Scoble with an edge…a humorous edge.” He smiled and we parted.

I had to admire him; for one who finds it hard to give his kids a puppy to give this Evangelist the "humorist - devils advocate" position behind the three chip Sony...must have been hard for him. "I now see why he is where he is", I said to myself as I popped the first tape into the Sony, strapped the battery belt on and walked down the hallway on the way to LisaB's office. Let the games begin!

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 14:11:00 +0000

Microstiff-Microsoft’s Dysfunction/Lottery Analogy

With all the latest anecdotal evidence of a Microsoft “foot-shooting implosion of the self-flagellation kind”, I got to thinking of just what the Softie was reminding me of. Something far away in my brain was tugging at me. I “slept on it” and sure enough, good ‘ol RIGHT BRAIN came up with the answer. (BTW – if you’re left-handed, is it your LEFT BRAIN that does that “subconscious two-step” for you?).

The answer is: Microsoft reminds me of the addicted/dysfunctional family that wins the lottery! Because they inevitably have “collected” self-defeating behaviors all their lifetimes, especially attitudes around money, they wobble and weave their way toward spiritual and actual bankruptcy soon after the money arrives.

And, for Microsoft, arrive it has! Fortuitous windfall profits from a continually lactating cash cow “A drunkards dream if I ever did see one”! (Eeeooo, makes you wanna swear off milk, doesn’t it!)

I’ll go one step further. The 70,000 Microsoft employees are like a gigantic AA meeting without the 12 Steps! For those of you who are a “friend of Bill’s” (not Gates; perish the thought!)…you’ll know what I mean. For those of you not, let me explain:

You gather under one roof, all 70,000 strong with one goal in mind: “To make a difference (pay the bills)”. However, the entity to whom you have entrusted that mission is not AA, not the universe, not God. It is Bill Gates and his partnering pals. Hence, your company has no real 12 steps to success. In fact, it has nothing except a HUGE cash supply. Microsoft is, in effect like a cork on the sea, waiting to be directed by the “winds of someone else’s successful, yet under funded…idea.” Then it swoops in with chests full of money, throwing thousands of people at the project and…it occasionally…wins: Windows, Office, Server.

Ahh, those were the good old days, weren’t they?! But now, as you lose more employees, customers and believers, you find yourself grasping for respect (we witness the flurry of your public relations postings of recent and past days). Your company blithely sails, nay...bobs its way towards another failure until the employees, customers and believers all run out. Such is the fate of the "Bad Ship Microsoft."

What’s the answer? Fire Bill Gates! Can Steve Ballmer! Stuff Lisa Brummel (HR)! Release the Partners and their sycophantic flunkies! Bring in a strong leader with simple goals. Rewrite every Mission Statement, Policy and most procedures. Invent something! Innovate! Live! (Not Lyve, Live as in “Live long and prosper”...the other word is dead at Microsoft!)

And Finally: Trust the bumper sticker, “First Things First”... Fire Bill Gates!

Do this and…as they say in the New York State Lottery TV Ads, “Hey, you never know!”

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 13:09:00 +0000

Microstiff - In Praise of Mini-Microsoft

Nothing could be more gratifying than praise from your fellow reporters and writer friends. I am not necessarily speaking of me - Microstiff.

No, this praise comes from a recognized industry pundit, Rob Enderle of TechNewsWorld and I thought I would tell you about it because...well...it's good stuff!

Rob says it all here and I would like to highlight some of the things that struck me:

There are two guilty pleasures I've developed of late. One is reading "Mini-Microsoft," which is an unauthorized blog by a Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) employee that probably does more to provide a glimpse inside the company and humanize it than anything the firm is officially doing. Taking this beyond Microsoft, I wonder if there is a way to do this more effectively to help a floundering company from the inside."

And more:

So, I really sympathize with the guy who writes "Mini-Microsoft," as well as the guy who used to write (and probably work) for Apple. The "Mini-Microsoft" posts are insightful and likely reflect the feelings inside the company more closely than its own employee surveys do."

Yet more:

According to one rule for effective teambuilding, the ratio of praise to criticism should be 4 to 1. "Mini-Microsoft" suggests it's more like 1 to 2; there is praise, but there seems to be much less of it than criticism. When there is a variation from this rule, it should probably go the other way."

And finally:

If there is criticism, there must be actionable recommendations. I actually think "Mini-Microsoft," in general, does a rather nice job of this. The author does seem to generally consider the implications of what he is criticizing and discusses action items. In most cases, when I see posts like this, they are constant rants. Rants are just annoying, and I've never seen them accomplish much of anything."

A few points from Microstiff:

Readers of Mini, let's all keep up the "actionable recommend- ations" part of our bargain, unwritten, to dialog with Mini!

Regarding "Praise" - Three (3) simple techniques, used sincerely, not manipulatively:

"Praise in public, criticize in private" - Think about it. Sit down with someone and talk with them. If you're a manager, show them how they can improve. Too many times we say to ourselves, "his/her work sucks" and then, as managers, we don't try to correct it. It could be as simple, for them, as not knowing how something is done.
"You can't know what you don't know" - Manager, ascertain what the employee knows and doesn't know. Don't cast blame because the employee may not know the right answer/policy/procedure; simply work to correct it. Don't "should" on the employee.
Use the Sandwich Technique for behavior modification: "Praise (bread), problem behavior (meat), Praise again (bread). It works! Try it at home.

Again, Mini, congratulations on getting some well-deserved praise!

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 18:24:00 +0000

Microstiff-DOT, FAA, M-o-u-s-e! Who's the Leader...

...of the club that's made for you and me?
Bill Gates? Nuh-uh.
Steve Ballmer? Nuh-uh.
It's good old Uncle Sam! That's right. Right now he's the tail and Microsoft's the dog...and they's gettin' wagged! Oh, yeah!

How is this so, you say? Listen to this: Today, right on the tail
of the DOT ix-naying the ista-Vay, Office-ay 2007 and Explorer-ay 7 installation at all DOT sites, the FAA is announcing the same thing only they're taking it a step further; a HUGE step further:

...the top technology official at the Federal Aviation Administration revealed that he is considering a permanent ban on the Microsoft software in favor of a combination of Google's new online business applications running on Linux-based hardware."

What could this mean? Well, for one, that your uncle may have reached a fork in the road. Here's the fork:

Bowen's compatibility concerns, combined with the potential cost of upgrading the FAA's 45,000 workers to Microsoft's next-generation desktop environment, could make the moratorium permanent."

Gulp! Here's what Microsoft has to do to keep it all from happening:

...if Microsoft can satisfy his concerns over compatibility with the agency's existing applications and demonstrate why such a move would make financial sense given Google Apps's low price. "We have a trip to Microsoft scheduled for later this month," said Bowen."

.
Gulp! If you read the full article, you're left wondering, nay....doubting, nay...convinced...the Softie can't possibly do that. Softie don't play that! Softie CAN'T play that (see dumping, Robinson-Patman, Sherman Act).

Is Microsoft going to run the alphabet of all the government agencies. Who's next? FBI, CIA, M-o-u-s-e!

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 13:31:00 +0000

Microstiff - Microsoft: Tinkerbell or Captain Hook? Aargh!

Chris Messina of Citizenagency.com says,

...the truth of the matter is that the core of Microsoft never changed, and that the values that propelled it to the top were antithetical to the openness, transparency and ethics that would rule in Web 2.0."

Chris strikes a chord with me and perhaps, you, when he goes on to say,

So in extending this a little further, I think Microsoft could have benefited from taking a Tinkerbell mentality — that is, one of utter subservience and partnership with its customers — listening to them, responding, guiding forward and taking risks, all because it believed it was acting in the interest of its most important customers, and not its shareholders."

And...

Now it seems, given the lukewarm response to Vista, that Microsoft’s Tinkerbell has, much like its mojo, died."

I think we can tell that Chris is "good folk" and someone you'd want on your side. He quotes Tim Bray in short little blurb witnessing the Softie's self-defeating behavior. Strong stuff.

I just want to add one thing - sort of a "Microstiff Denial Alert" - Tinkerbell hasn't died! She hasn't even arrived yet! Which of the Disney (Great site!) figures do you see as ruling the Evil Empire? I thought so!

No, my dear Microsofties and Softiefiles, it's Captain Hook at the helm. Aargh! And...he has several thousand Smee's to do his dirty work! (That'd be the partners and the managing sycophants, therein.)

No, dear hearts, if you've read this far, you are probably one of the many "Tinkerbells" this world needs to write the code and right the wrongs. It is the shortsighted Captain Hook's of the world who, in fear, must keep up the facade that they are in control of the ship, the customer, the marketplace, the OS...the world!

But, being a "Tinkerbell" doesn't mean being a pushover; far from it. Let's remember to keep up the good fight and maybe, just maybe, with or without the "fairy dust" we will elevate a "Tinker-Captain" to the helm. Let's just hope that the ship's excess Bounty doesn't postpone the coming Mutiny...for too long! Let's get back the MOJO!

Update: Some comfort: Remember that "People of the Lie", the facade mangers, the evil doers...have one primary trait - FEAR! So, go forth with the knowledge that those who hide the truth, should they be brave enough to read these words and others like them, are trembling from the fear of DISCOVERY and/or LOSING THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL THEY NOW HAVE. Believe it!

Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 16:03:00 +0000

Microstiff - Monday Daily Softie Slapdown

Today's best "The Emperor has No Elephants" musings from writers who know best!

The "Oww" Starts Now! -
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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 13:08:00 +0000

"Microstiff - Office Live Technical Support...Can I Help You?"

"Good Monday Morning to you." How may I be of service to you?"

"No, I am sorry, we can't get you out of beta just yet. The Brahma bull tripped over the power cord and we have to wait for him to leave."

Update: IMHO, this pic is real; check it out, Dog! You can't make this stuff up!

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 15:39:00 +0000

Microstiff-Microsoft Sunday Go-to-Meetin' Love-in - "Praise the Empire"

This week kicks off a Sunday ritual: "Praise the Empire". Lord knows it's easy to criticize the Softie. So...every Sunday, to provide balance to my thoughts, give credit where credit is due and be the good person I think I am or want to be...I'll dig up some "good stuff".

It will likely be more difficult for me but...do it...I will. Like the nightly news, "good stuff" can be boring so...I'll try my best to put a humorous spin on it. Here goes:

The Softie is...well...and "old Softie" - Want to give to your favorite charity and not spend a dime? Bill "charity-is-thy-middle-name" Gates and his bevy of programmers has found a way -- Just use MSN Messenger! Sure, there's a profit motive but...how can you beat the tie-in to charity?
If it ain't Steve Ballmer, then he's got a twin - You have to respect any Microsoftie who sticks up for his company in the face of these times of rising opposition. Kudos to this Steve Ballmer sound-a-like for hanging in there with the good words about the Softie.
Mikey...he likes it! - You say your kid brother is a pain in the butt? You say video games are making him nuts? Microsoft has a plan: Turn him into a developer ...for free! Looks like the Softie needs some Cloud Boys to do their thing. Must be the current batch, you know the 28-year-olders, are much too set in their ways to learn...the Cloud. It's all good! "Hey, Cloudboy! Go to your room. No dessert until you finish your peas AND...your code!"
Update: Sam's Club, Vista and moi - Did I tell you I tried Vista for the first time at Sam's Club on Saturday? It was installed on all of their desktop offerings (Both of them; HP's). First impressions? You gotta like the interface! Very Hollywood. Very fade in fade out on the nicely rounded windows. Pretty face! I liked (I didn't say adored!) the gadgets to the right for calendar and time. All in all, more better pretty...more entertaining. Couldn't launch anything special nor use any drivers (where all the problems lie) but, the UI is on the right path...towards Vienna in 2009! Hey, why not wait, I say?
"Hey...get your red hot Vista Ultimate here...only $200!" - Gotta respect the Softie for finding clever ways to get you to buy Vista at tremendously reduced prices. IMHO, sales are sooooooooo bad that they are willing to knight you as a "system builder". By their definition a "system builder" is "...an installer of software on computer systems". That'd be you...that'd be me...that'd be my cat! And hey, if you're an Aussie Uni student (attend college in Australia) you can get MS Office for $25! Who says (MSFT) isn't INNOVATIVE? Thank you, Bill.

However, let me get this straight. Bill, you hate pirates (this year only; apparently they weren't a problem in years past). Yes, you hate pirates BUT...you are willing to turn people into what I call "1/2 a pirate". How? By calling them a system builder when they ain't. So, we both look at each other and wink, right? But, what about all those people who paid $400 for Ultimate? Rebate time!

Oops! Sorry, I slipped back to my old "Slap the Softie" ways. Face it, folks...it's just so easy!

I must be morphing back into Mr. Hyde. I'll Dr. Jekyll you next Sunday!

More Updates during the day...

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Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 18:23:00 +0000

Microstiff – Bits & Pieces from the Week

(Microsofties, keep an empty waste basket nearby 'cuz the room's starting to spin!)

Update (Saturday, 3/3/2007 12:05 pm est): Early Returns on GoogleApps adoption - As I recently prefaced elsewhere, here comes Google! Check out the adoption figures half way down the page. Are those 103,000 (38,000 & 65,000) people lost to Google forever? Once they adopt, only money or extreme freebies would win them over to Microsoft, IMHO. And, at this point, there's nothing in the Softie Cloud to win them over to! Tsk! Pass the barf bag, now! (Empty wastebaskets on the ground, barf bags in the Cloud.)
Update: More Cloud Talk - Microsoft's aversion to "lead and you lose" needn't apply to what I call "natural innovation" -- stuff that doesn't pass the USPTO "novelty test" and yet...is profit making and needs no "wait and see" attitude. Such is the category in which I'll place LIVE word processing, LIVE spreadsheets and LIVE collaboration with the documents created by these two towers of "killer app" notoriety.

My point is this: Someone at the Evil Empire should and could have seen this coming. This is quite a natural progression of the art...utilizing the Internet! It's indicative of the "circle the wagons" mentality in Redmond and it perhaps bodes not so well as an indicator of future actions at the Softie. Are you reaching for that waste basket, yet?
Vista’s got a full 1% (.093) of the market, now! At this rate, there’ll be full Vista market penetration in 10 years! And… just think, Vista is only going to be supported for 5 years! Makes me want to run out and buy it now! Great selling tool, this support promise. Looks like Vienna in 2009 with Cloud front end is Ozzie and Hairless' plan to "leapfrog-the-Vista-Dog" ...doesn't it? God...what a great buy proposition that Vista offers...right? Move over, Windows Me, make room on this scrapheap of MSFT boondoggles; hey, it's only 5 years and $6 billion later!

Update: Based upon Vienna short schedule, current Vista sales and no hint of MSFT burning up that $500 million Vista marketing petty cash, IMHO, the OS Cash Cow will be without milk for two (2) more years! Adjust your MSFT stock portfolio accordingly!

Update: File this under "Money Stockholders Will Never Touch" - I got to thinking, about what Vista will have cost the stockholders in those two (2) years before Vienna's release. Stay with me, here:

$6 billion - sunk development costs--------
$7 billion - stock market value ------------
loss from Steve Ballmer Hoof & Mouth
$5 billion - ball park lost revenue 2 yrs-----
----------------------------------------
$18 billion (Same as 2006 income bef. taxes)

I'm no financial wizard but this $18 billion loss is the same as having zero net income for 2006! I am sure there are ways to cook this but...the figures speak for themselves!

Should MSFT combat piracy by lowering prices? A few think so. But, it shouldn’t be done this way, should it now, mate? I suppose the powers that be will now say, “See, I told you lowering the prices wouldn’t work!”

Now is THIS really necessary? Click here and check out the url window. Then look at the content. Don’t know that I’d want to waste $8.95 a year on a "url redirect" to make this point. (Hey, if you see a brown Zune in the frame...doesn't it look just like someone crapped on an Ipod?) Update: Monday, 3/5/2007 - Oops! They took the "crappy" Zune down. Now it says, "The Wow Starts Now!" Didn't that start about 6 weeks ago? I guess it just keeps starting whenever the Sofite wants it to. Tsk!
Update: Speaking of Bureaucracies! Sorry, Federal Workers but...you can't install Vista, IE7 or Office 2007. Jeeze, except for Word/Excel Power users who don't mind a lengthy learning curve with Office 2007, who the hell would want to...anyway! Did you catch the last sentence? "Any prolonged ban on new Microsoft technologies by the federal government could have a significant impact on the software maker's bottom line, as Microsoft sells millions of dollars in software to the feds annually."
Update: Microsoft OneCare came in dead last out of a group of 17 anti-virus programs tested against hundreds of thousands of worms, viruses, Trojan horses and other malware, an Austrian anti-virus researcher reported. (Read this; it's powerful stuff!)

Yeah, but can you trust those Austrians? They're in the EU, aren't they? Time to hoist those Vista prices in Austria? Won't matter. No one's buying.
Update: You're not going to believe this! Let's say you're a startup company. You've got this hot new cloud offering that gives SMB's free domain name, website and emails at your own domain name and...free accounting software. With this offer you are able to attract an amazing 190,000 beta customers. You're in heaven. You can't wait to go live and impress them even more!

But, there's a problem; you can't convert them without a little work and...if they want to use the new software instead of convert, they will lose their domains. What should you do for those 190,000 beta customers. Do the words "jump through hoops" come to mind?

Now, what if you're Microsoft? Do the words, "screw it up" come to mind? See how they did it. Is it any wonder the Live initiative is in shambles?

You know, I've been in computers since they were IBM 609 punched card calculating machines. I have never in my life seen such incompetence when it comes to customer care. From the software point of view, never would we let something like this even go to beta. These people are clueless! Update: And now THIS!
Update: If you were a student here would you think this was cool? Apparently, 5,000 of them did, as well as 250 teachers. This just exemplifies how Microsoft created their own "tipping point" by creating a combined software-hardware cost bubble which forced the move (buy Vista and you have to upgrade hardware). Isn't there one person at Microsoft who saw this coming? Tsk.

BTW, when we spot an extra dumb or denial-inspired move by MSFT, we’ll give out a “Duh-mbo Award”. A “Duh-mbo Award” will look like this:

Here’s one: Punishing the British for being in the EU by charging the poor blokes nearly twice as much for Vista as we American’s pay. Hey, there’s got to be some way to recoup the EU fines!

This post will be updated until the ending Sunday of each week so, keep coming back.

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 03:05:00 +0000

Microstiff - Well...It's Friday and It's F. N. Stoopit!

"Duh, hi! I thought I'd kick off the first F. N. Stoopit! rant this Friday, March 2, by talking about, duh-what you guys have been callin' the "elephant in the room." I s'pose that means some folks just can't see what's right there in front of their faces."
F. N. Stoopit!

"Duh-what I think is real obvious is that the whole company, Microsoft, from top to bottom, just let Google and Corel make a big old duh-ummy out of them by giving everybody who's online, all 850 million (that's a lot, isn't it?) a chance to have free werd processing and free spredsheets and a chance to share them all with each other. I mean, sure Microsoft has a lot of money coming in every year from Werd and Excel but shouldn't they at least try to stay up with or maybe copy the other guys? That way, they could be "in the runnin'", you know..in the game, and give them there 850 million customers another choice ... maybe even the BEST choice! I've heard that duh-havin' a choice is real important to some folks, don'tcha think?"

"Things is movin' fast nowdays and it's prolley more important to LEAD in the marketplace than it is to FOLLOW, otherwise...you get caught with your britches down, fer sure! Bein' a follower was OK back when there was no Internet and a few companies. Pshaw, just look how Microsoft blew up IBM OS/2 and trampled Werdperfect real fast. Boom! Crunch! But now, how do they blow up Google Apps and Werperfect Lightning? They's way up there a floatin' in that there cloud some place!"

"If'n I was Microsoft, I'd be kinda scared; not the kinda scared that is like a basketball team or a football team when they 's way ahead and start to get real defensive and then start losing'. I'duh keep playing new plays and run just as hard so that I could feel like I was a doin' something; you know....like I was alive! The other way, I'duh just be hopin' they didn't catch me in time to figure out I was goofin' off. Anyway, that's just me, I guess."

"But, I'll betcha Microsoft plays just like that - Big lead, real arrowgant, just coast to the finish line! You know, the other day, I heared someone say they's "in the Nile", which don't make no sense to me...at all!""Anyway, if I's Microsoft, I sure would hate it if all them people using Google Apps and Werdperfect Lightning liked 'em so much that...no matter WHAT I DID...they just wouldn't use my stuff...let alone change over to it. Anyway, maybe that's just me."

"Oh, well...somethin' to think about. Duh, see you next Friday!"

P.S. - "You know, I swear, it still just don't make no sense to me that a company with the best werd processing software and the best spredsheet software in the world would let someone have such a big ol' head start to prove they's better than me in that there cloud.Twice'st! Not to mention them other cloud werd processors and spredsheets out there. What are they called? AjaxWrite, ThinkFree, ZohoWriter, gOffice, numsum, and ZohoSheet to name a few."

"But...I'm the only one that's F. N. Stoopit!...right?"

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Mini-Microsoft: There's Ray! Plus: Plenty of Room For More Brains at Microsoft.
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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:51:00 +0000

Microstiff - Read these 4 consecutive posts - Eye opener!

"Houston...we have a problem!"

BTW - Notice how the Dell site had 94,866 requests for pre-loaded Linux on Dells! When's the last time you saw 94,000 of anything...let alone hits?! Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

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Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 03:04:00 +0000

Microstiff - If it's Friday...it's "F.N. Stoopit"

Click to Enlarge

Update: More "Upgrades" to XP and...of these two parties which is more likely to lie?

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Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 21:04:00 +0000

Microstiff – Ray Ozzie Appears...there’s 45 More Days of Winter!

Honestly, folks, is there anyone at Microsoft who can say the things I want to hear? It’s getting to the point where I just want someone to get up, play with the microphone, clear their throat and then…lie to me! Just do it with enthusiasm and…you’ve got me!

I get this picture in my head of Ferris Buehler’s teacher calling out his name for attendance: “Buehler?…… Buehler?………… Buehler?” You know, with that monotonic drone-like voice we have all come to love in him but hate in others; especially Microsoft leaders. Is this company a freakin’ utility or something? Jeezus, get the hook!

The three reporters I culled my information from regarding Ray Ozzie’s latest “state of the service” speech, report it in exactly the same boring way it must have been presented! Can we get somebody in here to read these guy’s notes or something. Robin Williams? Tony Robbins? Anybody!

This company needs a spokesman! Someone to get people charged up. Oh, but first they need to produce products & services that charge people up! My bad. Carry on.

P.S. - I guess my days as a Dale Carnegie Human Relations & Effective Speaking Course instructor have...well...affected me. Remember? "ACT Enthusiastic and you'll BE Enthusiastic!" or..."I know men in the ranks who are going to stay in the ranks! Why? I'll tell you why! Simply..... because..... they..... haven't..... the..... ability..... to..... get...... things..... done!" Know anyone like that?

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Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:54:00 +0000

Microstiff – Is It Me or Has the Subject Been Changed?

Update: More very ugly Vista news! And... It's the price, STOOPIT! Plus: Go here for Vista post launch implode time line. Yow!...ugliest!

Where’s the Vista-hype? Where’s the Vista Bus? How is that $500 million petty cash fund for promoting what has become the equivalent of XP SP1.95 (14% slower than XP!)…doing? Answers to those questions and more…coming up next!

Not really. However, judging by the lack of buzz, if feels like the Evil Empire is about to save perhaps $450 million and put it towards a single, new, exciting Vista feature and buying proposition? Yes? Well…at least you’d think so by the lack of promotion for LipstickPigPoke formerly known as Longhorn. In fact, all that’s coming out of Redmond of late – February 26, 2007 and the 2 weeks previous – has been…well…Vista silence. Some examples are these announcements:

Yawn.

Perhaps it’s the great embarrassment and $6 billion cap loss from Steve Ballmer’s "Hoof and Mouth MSFT Stock Certificate Rain Dance". Maybe Steve’s curled up along side of Ray Ozzie on the company shrink’s couch and no one’s bustin' a move. It sure feels like the calm before the storm to me! The sword’s about to fall! The other shoe’s about to drop! The stock’s about to plummet! Well, so far, we’re 1 for 3; can we keep it that way?

I think not. I think something’s coming around the bend and soon. I think there’s been a sort of “Mini-Intervention” (Not a “small” intervention but, an intervention by Mini-Microsoft). Mini has buckled BillSteveBradLisa over with one, solid Denial blow to the midsection. Four for the price of one! Microsofties and the world at large are soon to receive great tidings of comfort and joy from these Microsoft Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse! (a mashup from that great Notre Dame backfield and some other reference)

I can feel it in the air…in my bones…in my fingertips dancing across my Gateway keyboard. Something is a comin' to raise the spirits and paychecks of all Microsofties and the stock prices of all MSFT stockholders!

Meanwhile, while you’re waiting, the Vista Bus is coming soon to your town (shown here with Bink.nu’s Ryan Hoffman on it and of course Microsoft’s Nick White demonstrating a bus-satellited Google Mapping of the many McDonalds’ they just visited between Redmond and Seattle.) What could they possibly show us when they come to our town? I might go just to see the inside of that bus. Ka-Ching! Otherwise, yawn.

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noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:31:00 +0000

Microstiff – Denial Alert: Mini-Microsoft, Don Dodge, others…

Alert # 1 - Don Dodge, Director of Business Development for Microsoft's Emerging Business Team, says a few denial-laden statements worth hammering:

Microsoft will do everything possible to preserve these businesses while transitioning to the new Live strategy. The technical vision is to give users the best of both worlds. That is the business strategy too. No Innovators Dilemma here.

Reeeeaaaaaly? Let me see…legacy MS Office and Office Live (thanks to Google and a few others). Late to the party and groggy from Kool–Aid, the utterer of this grandiose statement can only be described as a "wishful thinker" and dead wrong. Ain’t no stinking innovation here, just $35 billion to throw at what others are already doing. It’s a simple mash up. Only difference is that Microsoft doesn’t have the luxury of the other party - Google - having achieved immense success (reads…the returns aren’t in yet) from online services.

And…virtually NO ONE KNOWS if the subscription model will work vs. the ad model. Gut says yes but gut don’t play that game so well.

This is more than a technology battle, it is a battle of perceptions. And right now Google has the perception of being the innovator, even though there is nothing new in Google Apps. Not to worry, remember when Nintendo dominated the game console business? Xbox came out of no where and is now the percieved innovation leader. Never count Microsoft out.

No, never count Microsoft out, just call them STOOPIT! My cat could have come out with Xbox after Nintendo's punching a wide open hole in that market. What did MSFT have back then…$25 billion to throw at it? With all the HARD WORK DONE by Nintendo, in come the Pirates of the Caribbean to rape, pillage and plunder. It was timing, the only thing Microsoft seems to have a reasonable handle on but...NO CONTROL OVER.

And, puleeeeeze, “…This is more than a technology battle, it is a battle of perceptions…” This means you lose on two, count ‘em, two counts: Count 1 – In the marketplace, Perception Rules! It’s your job to change it. Count 2 – Reality is that Google IS THE INNOVATOR. They started it, they developed it, they marketed it, they’re selling it. You, dear Don, are standing by the sidelines with your duffel bag full of money waiting to get in a game that you are woefully ill-prepared to play in.

Ray’s (Ozzie, "VaporWhere?") heads down not talking and, anecdotally, he’s starting to move past the “forgiveness” point. He better have something good. It’s doubtful though, because…IT HAS TO GO THROUGH 10 levels to get a signoff. Tsk.

No, Don, your battle is from within and...it looks quite grim.

Denial Alert # 2 – Robert Scoble, One-time Microsoft Evangelizer Par Excellence:

But, I’ve learned never to bet against companies with billions of dollars in its pocket and tons of smart people still working there.

And those OTHER companies would be? Once a Softie always a ….?

Denial Alert # 3 – Mini-Microsoft – Noted Microsoft Employee and Purveyor of Truth and Voice of All Softies of Any Spiritual bent:

The comment stream is interesting, too, though to hmmm me up and say that Mini-Microsoft is to blame for any malaise at Microsoft is, in my opinion, like taking a ol' big bite from the dumb-ass tree fruit and saying, "Hey, let's beat that kid up that pointed out that the emperor is naked!" Things were not right. People moved on. Change happened and is still happening. More change is needed, but I'd say the company is in a far better position than it was two-and-a-half years ago.

Can’t speak but for only about two years of this process but…I am not willing to give you kudos for pointing out the emperor is naked. Hear me out. On some level, everyone KNOWS the emperor is naked. Even MORE IMPORTANTLY, you have, day-in-day-out, gently revealed the truth so as to make their vision clearer. If this is the same thing that you are saying, so be it.

Also, it’s doubtful your good works have put the company in a far better position than it was two-and-a-half years ago. Why? Because the truth tends to tear down before it can build up, IMHO. People DO leave; only to be replaced by more “People of the Lie”. That tearing down is going on, right now. Witness the stock value, the chaos, the rage of the Mini Bloggers.

So, continue the good works, Mini, and some day we’ll all be able to say, on your behalf, “…the company is in a far better position than it was two-and-a-half years ago.”

Update: Bringing up Ray "Vaporwhere?" Ozzie got me to thinking...IMHO, people who are glib can spin even the worst of situations into a hopeful one. Ray, who is not glib, hates public speaking and is more of a "hall walker", hands on guy, wouldn't think of spinning something...again, IMHO.

Therefore if things were real good with him, he'd tell us. If they are real bad, he wouldn't... because he COULDN'T BRING HIMSELF to put lipstick on those little "Live" piggies. Therefore, regarding the "Live" initiative...things is bad...things is real bad!

Update 2: Go here for more fuel-to-the-fire-Microstiff rants. And, here.

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Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 22:48:00 +0000

Microstiff - Are Softies about to Implode?

Anecdotally, it would seem so! Here's why:

1. The tone and tenor of posts from insiders to the Mini-Microsoft Blog - arguably, the truest measure of the pulse and heartbeat of Microsofties everywhere - is taking on a quality that can easily be described as "constrained rage". Things accelerated from resigned disappointment to "constrained rage" when CEO Steve Ballmer recently did his little rain dance on the employee's ever fading company stock certificates. "You can act any way you want but...don't f**k with my money!"

2. Insiders are now more inclined than ever to spell out in great screaming detail ...the reasons for their seething resentments. Yeah, baby!

3. Mini, usually quite neutral and constrained around bitch slapping his beloved Microsoft is standing in line with the others as he prints their rants. Jolly good!

4. Oh, and the reason for this post? A Mini insider has suggested that what Microsoft does to it's customers is out-and-out fraud! Yow!

What's going to calm these critical masses who have reached just that? The next few weeks are going to be very interesting to watch.

P.S. - Scoble removes his heavyweight championship belt, steps to the scales, weighs in. Let the games begin!

Go here for more fuel-to-the-fire-Microstiff rants.

Mini-Microsoft: Quest for Happiness
Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 23:05:00 +0000

Microstiff - Looks Like Office Live is...Well...Dead!

Here's who owns the name (Click pic below for full view).

Here's who THINKS they own the name.

Tsk! Looks like a no-brainer to me.

Update: And what kills me is that the headline says, "...Microsoft will FIGHT to keep the Office Live name..." Like, it's theirs, right?

Update 2: If yours truly found this iron clad trademark granted by the USPTO, how is it that MSFT Legal didn't? Answer: They did and, as usual, arrogantly assumed it could be theirs for a price. Wouldn't it be great if all truth-seekers, like us, could subsidize Live Office, LLC with the same amount that they are going to eventually extract from MSFT after a fruitless battle spending countless millions on a losing cause.

In other words, wouldn't it be great if Microsoft had to "give the name back?" Ooh! Ahh! Wow!

And...wouldn't it have been prudent and civil to approach Office Live, LLC before they - MSFT - went ahead with the name. The leverage would have been much greater meaning that the price could have been negotiated under the takeaway that MSFT doesn't really care all that much about the name and won't pay an "arm and a leg." Now, because of their failure to negotiate first they are committed to the name and are literally forced to pay an "arm and a leg" for it. Dumb! Very dumb! Big money sink hole! No wonder the stock is tanking and Vista is floundering and Britain is pissed and Softies are more than restless and Office is heavily learning-curved and Novell is aghast and Ray Ozzie is vapor-hero and...and...and...

Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 13:18:00 +0000

Microstiff - Vista's a Train Wreck! More Very Poignant Truth

This is frightening!

And this...is too!

Update: Even scarier!! Here's more...gulp! And...holy shit!

Here's the YTD Vista blog-arrhea from January 30, 2007 launch.

Remember when "express" meant fast?

Hey, buddy, can you spare 3Gb?

Looks like Office Live is...well...dead !

And what must the Dell's and HP's of the world be saying when support phones are ringing off the hooks demanding XP installs on Vista computers. Razor-thin profit margins get tanked. Your channel gets pissed and stops selling Vista. Tick, tock.

Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 18:29:00 +0000

Microstiff – Bumper Sticker Words to Live By for Microsofties and Those Who Study Them

"Denial is the 'Shock Absorber to the Soul'" – This slogan puts a positive spin on denial. It suggests that denial is very necessary for our spiritual survival; that were it not in place, we would…could…die or be emotionally damaged. Some examples are traumatic events such as deaths and injuries, catastrophes, relationship failures and the like.

But, what about “non-soul-threatening” denial...you know, the garden variety stuff? For example: “Wow!” Who but Bill, Steve, Marketing and perhaps Legal sees even a modicum of “Wow” in Vista? Office Live? Zune? As each day passes the answer to that is “fewer and fewer people from all walks of life.” And, you can’t deny that. Just read the Blogs.

I submit to you that there is layer upon layer of “non-soul-threatening” denial built up at Microsoft in every department, division, policy and mission statement and, until it is totally or mostly abolished, it will forever drag this company into the dark smugness of arrogance, grandiosity, hubris, entropy and atrophy. And, to deny this problem is denial at its best (worst?)

"Wherever You Go…There You Are" – Also known as “The Geographic Cure” this behavior is rooted in the need to ignore problems by changing the scenery. Works great for vacations in a tactical sense but can be harmful in the long term, strategic sense. For example: Vista sales are terrible and you begin talking, corporately and to the public…about the next great Microsoft OS…Windows 7. What’s up with that?

Or, you start talking up Windows Mobile initiatives to the press and to the pundits in a big way while your “bread and butter cash cow” – Vista – wallows in anonymity!

When world traveler philanthropist Bill Gates visits Africa he is still the same vicious businessman who stages WTF meetings with competing project managers, inside his office, the winner being the one who had the fewest WTF’s screamed at him. Bill, the same guy who won’t let his kids have a dog (Daily Show, John Stewart). Hell, they could have a kennel if they were my kids! This all tells me Bill is a philanthropist in MONEY only.

This leads me to the next bumper sticker:

"Saints Don’t Marry Sinners" – This is a more poignant restatement of “…Birds of a Feather…” Next time you see a couple where one person is a miserable prick (prickette?) and the other is a perfect little angel, don’t buy into it. They both have “their sack of rocks to carry.” Probably some variation of enabling on the part of the little angel and the need to maintain the imperfect façade of the relationship. And the miserable prick continues on his/her merry way…”Up on Cripple Creek.”

Translate this to Microsoft? Known monopolists don’t/can’t convincingly kiss babies and shake hands with customers, vendors, partners and stockholders. Known intellectual property thieves can’t make us feel all warm and fuzzy about their philanthropy.

Most alarmingly, if you work with people in departments, divisions and companies doing harmful things to others, you are not a saint. You are, on some level, perpetuating the evil behavior of others in your company; by your silence, by your acceptance, by your successful work contributing to the perpetuation of their evil behaviors. If your value system disdains this behavior you will, on some level, inhibit the successful flow of ideas, products and services to and from the marketplace.

"Companies are Not Evil…People Are" - A company cannot destroy you. It takes a person or people, embracing the written or unwritten mission, policies and procedures of said company to carry out evil acts – “deliberately causing great harm, pain, or upset.” Therefore, Microsoft, by definition, cannot be “The Evil Empire”. So, don’t kid yourself, someone(s) at Microsoft is evil. I am sure if you dig a little bit, you’ll find plenty of examples.

"If it Looks and Walks Like a Duck…It’s a Duck!" – Believe your eyes, your ears, your gut…especially now that you have decided to embrace the slogans on the bumper stickers above…that you ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR DENIAL, that WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE, that SAINTS DON’T MARRY SINNERS, that COMPANIES ARE NOT EVIL…PEOPLE ARE.

Next, you must believe your heart when it says to you that any actions undertaken by people in your company to “deliberately cause great harm, pain, or upset” are truly evil acts and that by DOING NOTHING TO STOP THIS EVIL (UNLESS TO DO SO WOULD BRING HARM TO YOU OR ANOTHER PERSON), you are contributing to its perpetuation.

Quack! Quack!

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Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Microstiff) — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 21:18:00 +0000

Microstiff - The Quintessential Microsoft "State of the Company" Blog Comment

Michael Gartenberg's first Blog as a Microsoftie starts off with mucho kudos from a few and prophetically...ends like this.

BLOGADDENDUM: I Googled Jon Halbig and found him to be Kawasaki's partner at Garage.com. Good writer, IMHO.

Mini-Microsoft: Stop Him Before He Speaks Again!
Mini-Microsoft: Where's Ray? Where's the Vista Campaign?