Middle Grade Ninja

Whatever Happened to That Nice Ninja Fellow?

2011-12-03T07:50:00.000-08:00

Hello there, Esteemed Reader. Oh how I miss you and a twisted part of me hopes you miss me just a little. I’m hoping my Book of the Week Reviews have been something you enjoyed reading when your boss or teacher wasn’t looking and in my absence you’ve been reading some other blog that’s almost as good—there are plenty of great ones to choose from.

I am not dead, Esteemed Reader, nor have I stopped writing. That will never happen until I am actually dead and I’m hoping they have laptops in Heaven so I can sit in a nice café along the streets paved with gold. But I have stopped blogging… for now. Don’t worry, I’ll be back eventually. But this time, it may be a while.

I love this blog. I miss interviewing writers and literary agents, but the interviews I’ve collected up to this point will remain here online, free for all. And I will occasionally be dropping in with a new Book of the Week, but I’ve been turning new writers away recently. It breaks my heart to do it, but I just don’t have time to keep up a regular posting schedule and the writers who are so kind to share their extremely useful advice with us for free deserve better.

When I started this blog, I worked an 8hr day job that made me miserable, but gave me plenty of time both to write fiction and maintain this blog. I didn’t make much money, but I got to come home and interview my heroes here. A year ago I started a job I love and now I’ve moved into management. I’m making more money and I’m much, much happier, except I have less time to write. I promised myself when I started this blog that if I ever had to choose between writing fiction and writing blog posts, I’d choose fiction. I hoped that day would never come, but it has.

This isn’t goodbye, Esteemed Reader. Heck no! I love this blog too much to ever give it up. But it’s going to be a while before I can once again adopt a schedule to accomplish all of my new duties and write fiction and maintain a regular posting schedule here. Until that day, Esteemed Reader, know that I am missing you and I hope you’ll be here when I return.

Book of the Week: BUNNICULA by Deborah and James Howe

2011-10-26T05:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween, Esteemed Reader! I know it's not actually Halloween just yet, but it will be soon enough and it's time to get in the spirit. Nothing's better for that than a little classic middle grade. I'm all for these newbie authors we've been chatting with and the new books we've been reading, but I'm hoping to read a little more classic middle grade in the coming weeks. We might also chat up a few new literary agents. It all starts today with a discussion of one of my all time spooky favorites, Bunnicula.

First, however, an aside: I’m so excited, Esteemed Reader. To get ready for Halloween, I was reading The Walking Dead (excellent, and season 2 of the TV show is promising to rock) and playing Dead Island on the old X-Box 360 (also excellent), and all of that zombie killing, naturally, reminded me of Young Adult author Courtney Summers. You remember our old friend Courtney Summers, don’t you? I’ve loved all of her books and you may remember that ever since I read on her website she loved zombies, I’ve been bugging her. I bugged her in my review of Cracked Up to Be and Fall for Anything and I’ve been sending her emails on and off for over two years asking her to please, please, please write a zombie novel. So I stopped by Courtney’s website to drop her a line and what should I see, but a description of her new novel, This is Not a Test:

It’s the end of the world. Six students have taken cover in Cortege High but shelter is little comfort when the dead outside won’t stop pounding on the doors. One bite is all it takes to kill a person and bring them back as a monstrous version of their former self. To Sloane Price, that doesn’t sound so bad. Six months ago, her world collapsed and since then, she’s failed to find a reason to keep going. Now seems like the perfect time to give up. As Sloane eagerly waits for the barricades to fall, she’s forced to witness the apocalypse through the eyes of five people who actually want to live. But as the days crawl by, everyone’s motivations to survive begin to change in startling ways and soon the group’s fate is determined less and less by what’s happening outside and more and more by the unpredictable and violent bids for life–and death–inside. When everything is gone, what do you hold on to?

That sounds like zombies to me! Oh my God, I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I can’t wait! Summer 2012 can’t get here fast enough and now not only because that’s when The Dark Knight Rises releases. Part of me just wants to put myself in a coma until then. Wake me up this summer and don’t bother me with friends and family and their desires to talk with me after I’ve been asleep for 9 months. Just take me to the bookstore and then to the theater (I’ll relearn to use my atrophied muscles later) for an evening of Batman and Courtney Summers zombies. Belinda Carlisle was right! Oohh, Heaven is a place on Earth.

What makes a classic middle grade book a classic? I know I’ve reviewed some here, such as Watership Down, James and the Giant Peach, The Giver, and Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing. But what makes those books classics and new books, such as Savvy by Ingrid Law, likely to be but not yet classics? I don’t really know, but I think time has something to do with it, which is a crappy deal for writers. Classics are books that have endured over a particular period of time and if you’re an author hoping you’ve written a classic and your name isn’t J.K. Rowling, you may have to wait until you’re much older to find out. Or, like so many greats of literature, your work may go on to be cherished after your death and you’ll never know about it, having died bitter and discouraged in a pauper’s grave cursing God.

On this blog, our criteria for deciding what is and what is not a classic will be extremely simple: do I remember reading the book as a child or at least having the book recommended to me and now kids are still reading it. As the Ninja ages (closer to my own pauper’s grave every week), the books I remember reading as a child will have become even more classic. Bunnicula was written before I was born, but I remember reading it and two of its sequels, The Celery Stalks at Midnight, and Howliday Inn, all in one fevered Halloween weekend. Lo and behold, when I went to the bookstore for my weekly browsing session, I saw they had plenty of copies of Bunnicula for today’s readers = classic.

Truth be told, Bunnicula isn’t even that good of a book. I know that statement flies in the face of my review policy and my usual manner of only discussing positive aspects of books here, but I’m feeling feisty and it’s true. When I read Bunnicula as a kid, I didn’t think it was that good and my opinion hasn’t changed much. The writing is so so in places, the characters are uneven, and I would never place Bunnicula on the same shelf as The Witches, a truly classic Halloween read. But I’ve already told you as a child I read the sequels immediately after reading the first book and if I had those sequels here now, I’d probably give them a look.

Why? Because what Bunnicula does well, it does better than anyone. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it’s got a concept so clever the thought of it brings a smile to the face of readers everywhere. Actually, the fact that the writing in Bunnicula is so poor in places and yet the book still went on to become a classic warms the hearts of hopeful substandard writers like myself.

So what’s Bunnicula all about? A vampire Bunny! Or is he? He is. But maybe not!

Before it’s too late, Harold the dog and Chester the cat must find out the truth about the newest pet in the Monroe household—a suspicious-looking bunny with unusual habits… and fangs! I totally stole that summary from the back cover, but why reinvent the wheel. Here is the evidence as well as our first examples of uneven characters acting randomly over the top:

“Now tell me, Harold, have you notcided anything funny about that rabbit?”
“No,” I said, “but I’ve certainly noticed a lot of funny things about you recently.”
“Think about it. That rabbit sleeps all day.”
“So do I. So do you.”
“Furthermore, he’s got funny little sharp teeth.”
“So do I. So do you.”
“Furthermore, he gets in and out of his cage by himself. What kind of rabbit can do that?”
“A smart one,” I said. “I could do it.”
“We’re not talking about you, Harold. We’re talking about the rabbit. Now, where did they find him?”
“At the movies.”
“Yes, but what movie?”
“Dracula,” I said, “so?”
“So,” he said quickly, “remember the note around his neck? What language was it in?” (how does one say "so" slowly --MGN)
“An obscure dialect of the Carpathian mountain region,” I answered smugly. He didn’t know everything.
“Ah ha!” Chester said, “but what area of the Caparthian mountain region?”
Area? What’s an area? I looked at him blankly. (sort of an obvious concept for a dog familiar with the Caparthian mountain region –MGN)
“Transylvania!” he cried triumphantly. “And that proves my point.”
“What point? What are we talking about?”
“And don’t forget the white tomato! That’s most important of all!”
“But , what…”
“This book,” said Chester, disregarding me, “tells us just what we need to know.”
“What?” I practically screamed. “What does it tell us? What does this book have to do with Bunnicula? What are you talking about? What’s going on here? I can’t stand it anymore!” (***SMACK*** Get hold of yourself, Harold! –MGN)
Chester regarded me coolly. “You’re really very excitable, Harold. That’s not good for your blood pressure.”
I put my paws around his throat. “Tell me,” I said in a low, threatening voice, “or I’ll squeeze you till you pop.”

Whoa. What the heck happened to Harold there? Up until this moment, Harold has been a reasonable dog of fairly considerable intelligence. This is the only moment in the book when he nearly snaps. Otherwise, he and Chester appear to be friends. Why is he so erratic and unpredictable? Not to worry, Esteemed Reader, I have concocted for myself an explanation. Harold is a junkie for chocolate cake and cupcakes, which are discussed throughout the novel, and the use of the word “stash” as well as the nature of Harold’s relationship with his owner tipped me off early:

Toby’s a nice kid, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t hurt that he shares his stash with me. It was, after all, at one of those late night parties in Toby’s room that I first developed my taste for chocolate cake. And Toby, noting my preference, has kept me in chocolate cake ever since.

Beneath the surface story of a vampire Bunny is the story of a dog suffering a crippling addiction that allows him to write a novel, but not to understand the meaning of complex concepts such as “area.” And Chester the cat doesn’t fair much better. Toward the end of the novel, during his crazed attempts to destroy the vampire bunny whose penchant for sucking the juice from veggies isn’t hurting anyone, Chester reminded me of the extreme members of the conservative right and I sort of wished someone would drive a stake through his heart.

I’ll stop being a jerk now. Truly, Esteemed Reader, I don’t know what’s come over me. This may be the snarkiest review I’ve ever written. I like Bunnicula, I do. Mrs. Ninja’s face lit up when she saw I was reading it and I know many readers have very fond memories of the vampire bunny. It’s a good book, it is. It’s just that as a child I always felt patronized by adults who recommended it to me as a scary book. The Witches is a scary book. Bunnicula is a fun book and very good book, but it isn’t scarry. However, as I’m adult now and allowed to read The Walking Dead, I’ll give up this old grudge and embrace Bunnicula for what it is: a good time.

It really is a killer concept perfect for the middle grade reader: a vampire bunny that sucks vegetables until they’re white. What child wouldn’t want to read a book about that? What child wouldn’t love to own such a bunny? The problem is how does a writer create a compelling story around a vampire bunny if the bunny isn’t a threat to anyone. A writer could personify the vegetables, which could have made for a much darker, but perhaps also fun story. The Howes have crafted a mystery featuring two non-bunny, non-vampire characters around their vampire bunny. It’s a smart move.

And the book is funny. It’s hit and miss in places. As I’ve mentioned, the characters often act in ways only to serve the joke rather than how they might actually act, but the book is very short and the tone allows for these inconsistencies. And Chester the cat trying to pound a “steak” through Bunnicula’s heart will always be hilarious. In fact, near the end of the book, this passage made me laugh so hard I nearly cried. After reading Finding Yourself by Screaming a Lot, Chester has these words of wisdom:

"And in order to communicate, Harold, you haveto really be in touch with yourself. Are you in touch with yourself, Harold? Can you look yourself in the mirror and say, 'I know who I am. I am in touch with the me-ness that is me, and I can reach out to the you-ness that is you?"

That’s going to do it, Esteemed Reader. To make up for what a jerk I’ve been this review, I will leave you with some of my favorite passages from Bunnicula:

Now, most people might call me a mongrel, but I have some pretty fancy bloodlines running through these veins and Russian wolfhound happens to be one of them. Because my family got around a lot, I was able to recognize the language as an obscure dialect of the Carpathian Mountain region.

"You can keep smelly ol' Harold in your room, and Chester too, if you want to, but I'm going to keep the rabbit in mine."
Smelly ol' Harold! I would have bitten his ankle, but I knew he hadn't changed his socks for a week. Smelly, indeed!

I feel at this time there are a few things you should know about Chester. He is not your ordinary cat. (But then, I'm not your ordinary dog, since an ordinary dog wouldn't be writing this book, would he?)

At first, I thought I could strike up a friendship with Bunnicula and maybe teach him a few tricks. But I could never wake him up. He was always waking up just about sunset, when I wanted to take a snooze. A rabbit, I concluded, is cute to look at, but is generally useless, especially as a companion to dogs.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

7 Questions For: Elissa Brent Weissman

2011-09-29T13:41:00.000-07:00

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Don't forget!!! There's still time to win your Nerd Camp T-shirt. All you have to do is comment on this post.

Elissa Brent Weissman has wanted to write children's books since she started reading them. She wrote her first novel when she was 10, and when no one wanted to publish it, she was sad for a little while but then just became more driven. She accomplished her goal in 2009, when her first two novels for 8-12 year-olds, Standing for Socks, and The Trouble with Mark Hopper, hit shelves. These "frothy and fun" school stories are often compared to those of Andrew Clements. They have been praised by Publisher's Weekly, Booklist, and the Horn Book, and Scholastic's Instructor magazine selected The Trouble with Mark Hopper as a best pick for new middle schoolers.

Her newest is Nerd Camp. Click here to read my review of Nerd Camp.

Originally from Long Island, New York, Elissa graduated from the Johns Hopkins University Writing Seminars program, where she wrote Standing for Socks as a senior in a novel-writing class called The Long Work. After graduating in 2005, she spent a year in London, England, reading, traveling, and earning her MA in Children's Literature from Roehampton University. She currently lives in Baltimore, Maryland, where she teaches creative writing to adults, college students, and gifted-and-talented children.

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

Ack, only three! Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie (brilliant). Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card (sooo good). And The Giver by Lois Lowry (brilliant and sooo good).

Question Two: How much time do you spend each week writing? Reading?

I used to try to write for two hours a day, but ever since I had a baby, that has gone out the window. Now I probably write about six or seven hours a week total, but they’re productive hours, since I know I only have that time while the baby-sitter is there. I probably spend between 7 and 10 hours a week reading for pleasure, a couple hours on top of that if you count reading my students’ work for the classes I teach (which, thankfully, is usually pleasurable). Then, I spend at least another 5 hours on the business of writing, which includes both writing and reading: keeping up with email, doing promotional stuff for my books, playing Spider Solitaire (oh wait, does that not count?)….

Question Three: What was the path that led you to publication?

I first tried to get published when I was in 6th grade, but that didn’t work out. I wrote my next novel, Standing for Socks (then just called Socks) as a senior in college, for a novel-writing class called The Long Work. One of my professors was very supportive of me and my book, and he referred me to a literary agent. (This process took about a year, and I had my fair share of rejections from other agents and editors in the meantime.) But by the time I finished grad school, a year later, that agent had sold the book to Atheneum at Simon and Schuster.

Question Four: Do you believe writers are born, taught or both? Which was true for you?

Both, and both. I was definitely born wanting to tell stories. When I was three or four, my favorite thing to do was play with my Little People. Each of them had a name and a story that I made up. I even had them grouped in families and in classes at school. (Oh yes, I was that big of a nerd.) As I grew up, I filled notebook after notebook with stories. But it wasn’t until I got to college and started studying the craft of creative writing in earnest that I really started to understand what makes a good story, and I started to become a really good writer.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about writing? What is your least favorite thing?

Favorite thing about writing: When my characters get into a situation that makes me think, “Uh oh. How am I going to get them out of this?” That’s when I know my story is working.

Favorite thing about being a writer: Having a cool answer when people I meet ask what I do.

Least favorite about both: The frustrations that come with publishing, especially marketing and promotion (or lack thereof). It’s a competitive field with no guarantees, and it can sometimes feel like no one is reading the stuff I’m working so hard to write.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

Do it! It’s very easy to talk about wanting to write, and to think about writing, and to play Spider Solitaire instead of writing. But there’s nothing better than actually getting lost in your own story.

And when you’ve got something you’re proud of, I’ll pass on the advice that my professor gave to me: Just send it out. Send it out, hope for the best, and start working on the next one.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Mo Willems! My husband and I read his books to our baby daughter, and they’re just so hilarious and clever. That’d be one fun lunch.

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www.ebweissman.com

Book of the Week: NERD CAMP by Elissa Brent Weissman

2011-09-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

Are you a nerd, Esteemed Reader? I think it’s well-established at this point that the Ninja is and I suspect some of you are as well. How would you like a XL Nerd Camp tee-shirt sent to me straight from Elissa Brent Weissman? Would you like a signed copy of Nerd Camp highlighted and marked up with the ninja’s notes? That would be nice, but I’m keeping the book:) I’ll give you the tee-shirt, though.

Here’s what ya gotta do: comment on this post and include the phrase I’m a nerd! Entries will be accepted until midnight, October 3rd, and the winner will be announced in next week’s Book of the Week post. But don’t forget to come back Thursday to see Elissa Brent Weissman face the 7 Questions.

I know what you’re thinking, Esteemed Reader: I want that shirt more than I’ve ever wanted anything, but I mustn’t reveal my nerdiness to the world in so public and mainstream a place as a blog intended for authors of middle grade fiction. Curse you, Ninja, you drive a bargain forged in the fires of Hell!”

Mwuhaha, Esteemed Reader. Mwuhaha.

Can I tell you a secret? I love Tori Amos. I’ve loved her since I was a mopey teenager easily bummed out by the first sad singer to come along and I love her now. In this way, I’m like the famous writer Neil Gaiman. He likes Tori Amos. I like Tori Amos. He’s a man who speaks English. I am a man who speaks English. We’re practically the same person:)

I’ve told you I love to listen to soundtracks when I do my fiction writing, but I also enjoy a little Tori Amos because A. She sings real good. B. Her music is pumped full of emotion, some of it a tad melodramatic. C. I have no idea what the heck she’s singing about.

It’s true. I’ve been listening to her for years. I’ve heard Under the Pink close to a million times and I’m still not sure what a Cornflake Girl is and/or whether or not it’s a good thing that she may or may not have been hanging with the raisin girls or what the deal is with a rabbit or what it is that is not really happening. Don’t believe me? Here are some of the lyrics:

Never was a cornflake girl / Thought that was a good solution /Hanging with the raisin girls / She's gone to the other side / Givin us a yo heave ho / Things are getting kind of gross / And I go at sleepy time / This is not really happening / You bet your life it is / Peel out the watchword

Clearly, these are the ravings of a lunatic. Oh, I know I can Google the song and read some explanation, but I like not knowing. Whatever the heck she’s singing about, she knows what it is and man, does she mean it. This makes her ideal listening for writing deep and weighty thoughts; music that exudes a mood and little meaning. I’m totally stoked about her new album, Night of Hunters. It’s her best in years and completely incomprehensible, just the way I like her. Here’s a little mood music for you while you read, if you’re interested, and if you’re not, I’ll meet you after the break to talk Nerd Camp:

Nerd Camp is a hilarious read and it even features a cameo from Alex Tribeck! It’s a fun story that young nerds and old nerds alike can relate to. Pack your bags and head to Nerd Camp this summer!
--Robert Kent, Middle Grade Ninja

Sorry about that, Esteemed Reader. I was just thinking ahead to when the anniversary edition of Nerd Camp is released and naturally, I assume Antheum Books for Young Readers will insist it include a blurb from yours truly on the cover. I’m just trying to make it easy for them:)

But even if the copy you get your hands on does not feature my blurb (for shame), you should go ahead and buy it anyway. Wiessman has crafted a fine middle grade novel worth reading and studying.

So here’s the deal: Gabe’s dad is getting married and he’s getting a new half brother, Zack. An only child, Gabe has always longed for a brother. He can’t wait to meet Zack and you just know they’re going to be best friends. Brothers don’t shake hands. Brothers gotta hug! Everything is going perfect until Zack drops this bombshell: “Gabe, I’m really your mother reincarnated.” Wait no, that’s a dream I had:) Here’s the actual bombshell:

“…You can’t be on a math team and be cool. Math team, gifted program, hanging out and reading—all those things automatically make you a geek… Get this. This kid in my class, he’s such a nerd that he wants to keep going to school over the summer. So he’s going to this special nerd camp. That must be the most boringest place in the world.”

What's nerdy about reading? The problem is that Gabe himself is a nerd! And he’s going to Nerd Camp TM! And his mother is not dead! Actually, she’s just divorced from his father and good on them because they get along as partial friends. She congratulates him on his pending nuptials and they appear to have put whatever differences they have aside to focus on being Gabe’s parents. Good on Weissman for showing their relationship as nothing out of the ordinary, enforcing the notion that divorced couples with children should behave this way.

Nerd Camp is not actually about Zack and Gabe. It’s about Gabe going to camp, the fellow nerds he meets there, the adventures they have, and even a summer romance (middle grade style). That’s why it’s called Nerd Camp and not My New Half Brother (Who Used to be My Mother). From page 38 to 236, Weissman’s focus is logic problems and karaoke and other painfully nerdy things that made the ninja remember his own misspent nerdy youth.

So my question to you is why doesn’t Weissman start the book with Gabe’s arrival at Nerd Camp? Isn’t everything else just needless exposition slowing down the main story? True, the passages of Gabe, who is among the nerdiest nerds who ever nerded, attempting to hide his true self from Zack are among the funniest in the novel. But we’re talking about 63 pages in a 257 page book, or to put that in nerd terms, 24.51%, nearly one fourth of the Nerd Camp book is less about Nerd Camp and more about Zack and Gabe. Funny or not, unless there’s a point, these pages need to be cut.

But there is a point, or I wouldn’t have brought it up. Let us imagine you and I sat down to write a book about Nerd Camp, not that we're going to do it now that Weissman beat us to it:) But if we did, we'd start with the big picture: our hero, let's call him, oh, I don't know, Gabe, is a nerd looking forward to Nerd Camp. He's going to have a great time singing and learning and he might just have something going with that Amanda chick. It's a decent start, but we're going to need some conflict. Let's see... there's competitions, so Gabe will be in conflict with other campers, and we could make Amanda a force of antagonism for at least part of the story.

Editor: Good, good. But what's this story about?
Us: Nerd Camp.
Editor:Yes, I know, but what about Nerd Camp?
Us: It's awesome.
Editor: Let me put this another way: how is Gabe different at the end of the novel than he is at the beginning.
Us: He's been to Nerd Camp. Duh.
Editor: No, no. There must be a conflict that makes Gabe universally identifiable and makes the novel an accessable read even to non-nerds.
Us: Oh. Well, he could always worry about whether or not he's accepted socially and learn not to worry so much about what others think.
Editor: Brilliant! That's a staple of MG/YA literature. Who hasn't felt like a nerd and been led to question themselves? I'm going to publish your book and one day it will be reviewed by the Middle Grade Ninja!
Us: All our dreams just came true! I hope the ninja remembers to write his review with a separate blurb we can put on the cover of the anniversary edition. That would be so nice. Just so long as he doesn't take up part of our review with a pointless diatribe about something unrelated like Tori Amos albums.
Editor: Indeed.

And there we have it. But how to demonstrate Gabe's internal struggle with nerdiness? By giving him an external conflict that highlights and contributes to his internal conflict, of course. There are any number of ways to do this. My preference would be with zombies and/or sharks, but for the sake of brevity, let's look at how Weissman did it. She's given Gabe a half brother worth taking up one fourth of her novel for.

Gabe's fear about Zack finding out he's a nerd isn't about Zack. Who cares what Zack thinks? He's only in one fourth of the book:) Gabe's real issue is he thinks he's a nerd (he's right) and he disapproves. Ah so, Grasshopper. Don't get me wrong, Zack's a fine character and written believably, but the point of his being included in this tale of Nerd Camp is so Gabe can have this moment:

The Gabe part of Gabe wanted to agree, but ever since the night of his karaoke routine, he was starting to look at things the way Zack might look at them. And reading was definitely not cool. Reading, in fact, was the very first strike Zack had discovered against him. Gabe didn't think he needed to stop reading--he would never do that--but he didn't think he needed to advertise his love of it, either.

A Gabe divided against himself cannot stand. Gabe reaches the same point we all must reach when we ask ourselves are we happy with the person we are, regardless of what others think? If the answer is no, let's find the problem and change it. If the answer is yes (but couldn't hurt to change a few things), then we're confident in who we are and others will be too. If the answer is yes, because we are perfect, than we're likely a jerk no one else can stand and have the most fixing to do of all.

And that's going to do it. Don't forget to comment to win your Nerd Camp tee-shirt and come on back on Thursday to see Elissa Brent Weissman face the 7 Questions. I'll leave you with some of my favorite passages from Nerd Camp:

Gabe’s clothes and camp supplies were laid out across his bed, grouped into categories and stacked in piles. It was a clothing city with T-shirt towers, notebook parks, and a sweatpants river running through the center. Gabe rolled a piece of paper and held it to his mouth like a megaphone. “Attention, residents of Clothes-for-Camp City. This is your mayor speaking. Prepare to be moved into a suitcase and taken to camp. I repeat, prepare to be moved into a suitcase and taken to camp. I repeat, prepare to be moved into a suitcase. You will be transported to camp first thing in the morning…”
…Gabe made his arm into a wrecking ball and rammed it through the T-shirt stack. He simulated the collapse noise. “Poooochchchch!”
His mom was not amused.
“What?” Gabe said as he gathered the T-shirts into a ball and dropped them into his suitcase. “The city has to come down to be transported. I warned the residents. They evacuated.”

Zack rolled his eyes, and Gabe rushed into the bathroom to avoid letting Zack see him turn red. Once there, he debated just wearing his T-shirt and underwear to sleep, but, pressing his luck, he reluctantly put on the pajamas he’d brought: a pair of pants and a shirt that had the entire human skeleton on them. Zack raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment, and Gabe’s clavicles sunk. At least Zack didn’t know that he had brought these pajamas on purpose and had planned on performing an original song and dance that named all the bones. He made sure to be in his sleeping bag before his dad turned the lights out, so that Zack wouldn’t see that the bones glowed in the dark.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

7 Questions For: M.P. Kozlowsky

2011-09-22T04:27:00.000-07:00

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M.P. Kozlowsky was a high school English teacher before becoming a writer. Juniper Berry is his first book. He lives in New York with his wife and daughter.

Click here to read my review of Juniper Berry. M.P. Kozlowsky is represented by Elana Roth.

And now M.P. Kozlowsky faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

Narrowing down my favorites of anything -- songs, movies, foods, etc. -- is a daunting task, but especially so with books. The best I can do for you now is to pick three of my favorites at random and list them in no particular order. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens; Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell; To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

Question Two: How much time do you spend each week writing? Reading?

Because I am a new father, my writing and reading time has greatly and woefully diminished. I write close to three hours a day and unfortunately read for only one, unless you count newspapers, magazines, and research articles, which fills whatever spare time I manage to accumulate. I anxiously await the days when I can once again write from morning through the late afternoon, interspersed with many hours of reading.

Question Three: What was the path that led you to publication?

I was dissatisfied with where I was in life and realized that, in order to be happy, I had to be nurturing my passions -- this, of course, meant writing.

Question Four: Do you believe writers are born, taught or both? Which was true for you?

I believe writers are born, at least with the potential to create. However, they must be taught the necessary skills to mature their talents, to reach the absolute peek of their abilities. Sadly, some never put in the time or effort, some never believe in their potential, some never want to take the chance or risk to see it come to fruition. Trust me, it is all worth it. And it never ends; we can always try to improve.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about writing? What is your least favorite thing?

It has been said that writers do not enjoy writing, they only enjoy having written. This is a statement that I can relate to very much. Writing, as a profession, is very daunting and frustrating work at times. To create the best books or stories or poems possible requires tremendous time and effort with many hours spent agonizing over a single paragraph or line. But the end result, typically, is so very worth it.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

I would tell all aspiring writers to be true to themselves, to write what they enjoy, whatever moves them most. Do not write for a particular audience; write a great story and the readers will follow.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Again, so many terrific choices, and tough to narrow them down. Off the top of my head, I would love to sit down with F. Scott Fitzgerald; no, Carl Jung; no, Thomas Pynchon; no, Cormac McCarthy; no, Mark Twain; no ....

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www.mpkozlowsky.com

Book of the Week: JUNIPER BERRY: A TALE OF TERROR AND TEMPTATION by M.P. Kozlowsky

2011-09-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

You know that feeling you get when I go away for my brief sabbaticals to work on my own fiction? You know the one I’m talking about, Esteemed Reader. That feeling of unease and abandonment that usually culminates in your calling your sponsor and saying, “Ted, I haven’t read a Book of the Week Review or a 7 Question Writer Interview or a Literary Agent Interview in almost a month and I’m really tempted to have a drink.” That’s perhaps a joke that’s in bad taste given this is a blog geared toward writers, and I’m bound to reach a few recovering alcoholics. To these Esteemed Readers, I kid, I kid. Stay strong.

None-the-less, when I take a break from blogging, I like to imagine the entire world comes to a standstill and teeters on the brink of collapse until I return. “Where will we get our inappropriate comments about alcoholism made in reviews of children’s books now?” Earth’s inhabitants wail. And even when I’m blogging regularly, there’s always unease that there are some books I didn’t get a chance to review and some authors whose interviews we won’t get to read. What’s to be done? Who can help to fill the void of blogging about children’s books? Our very lives may just depend on it!

The Middle Grade Ninja is happy to introduce the Middle Grade Mafioso! Check out his sweet blog. He’s giving away a book and he’s got an interview with author C. Alexander London. A blog about middle grade authors and books? Dude, I’m so there! But this does leave me wondering: what other Middle Grade blogs shall we see going forward? Middle Grade Pirate? Middle Grade Tax Accountant? Middle Grade Serial Killer? Soon… (rubs hands together fiendishly) …we shall be legion!

But until that marvelous day, I am not on sabbatical. I’m here and planning to be here for some time. I’ve got a bunch of great books and great author interviews lined up for you in the coming weeks, Esteemed Reader, and some very exciting surprises. Today we’re discussing Juniper Berry and Thursday we’ll have author M.P. Kozlowsky here to face the 7 Questions. This Saturday, we’ll hopefully have a literary agent here if things work out, and if not, the following Saturday:)

Can I confess something? I read books upon books and articles about how to write a great opening for a book, and every last one of them claims you need a hook. I accept this and it’s the reason why of all the things I notice in each week’s book, I’m so often reporting here whether or not it has a great opening and a great hook to make sure the reader leaves the library with the book under their arm. To be fair, I try not to repeat myself too often, so a book may have a great opening and I may not mention it if I spent the whole of the previous week’s review discussing openings.

These writing books claim a reader can be hooked immediately by a situation or a question or an author’s writing style. Well, confession time, I have my doubts. It’s easy for me to see a reader being hooked when the story opens with a character discovering his mother is really a man or the character has just swallowed poison and has the length of the story to find the antidote. It’s harder for me to believe in a reader being hooked by an author’s style. Probably it stems from my own insecurities about my writing style that I don’t imagine anyone can be hooked unless I tell the reader today is the day the protagonist's life will be forever changed.

But M.P. Kozlowsky has given me pause. Here is the opening of Juniper Berry:

THE HOUSE WAS A MANSION, the lake was a pool, Kitty was a dog, and Juniper Berry was an eleven-year-old girl.

This first sentence is punchy, it’s fun, and it genuinely makes me want to read the book that follows. Kozlowsky’s style is perfect for a book like this and as I read the first chapter I was put at ease knowing the entire story would be told in his sardonic voice that plays with the reader. Kitty is a funny name for a dog and Juniper Berry is a funny name for a girl. M.P. Kozlowsky has my attention for a chapter or two—but he’s on thin ice. Kozlowsky knows this and he introduces his real hook before the reader wonders off and un-pauses his Xbox. Still, until then, his fun descriptions carry us through all on their own:

His hair felt like thick strands of yarn or, Juniper preferred, waterlogged caterpillars. She squeezed one tangle and it leaked water into her hand.

By the way, as we’ll learn on Thursday, M.P. Kozlowsky was an English teacher before he became a writer. But I knew this had to be true just from reading the book before I read his bio. There are all sorts of fun references to literature and mythology throughout Juniper Hill, but you know what the real test is? If a character offers to show another character anything in a handful of dust, the writer is an English teacher. Where are my car keys? Oh, let me show them to you… in a handful of dust = English Teacher:) I should have been a pair of ragged claws…

I know there are some of you Esteemed Readers who won’t follow the previous paragraph, but hopefully not many of you. If “I will show you fear in a handful of dust” doesn’t mean anything to you (Google it), it won’t interrupt your reading this review or Juniper Hill. But if you yourself are an English teacher or at least a well-read person, Kozlowsky has hidden little treats for you like Easter eggs. Literary allusions are simply a way of telling an inside joke appreciated by other book nerds who grock its fullness (the Ninja’s own favorite allusion).

Juniper Berry’s parents are famous movie stars, which sounds like a lot of fun. Her dad has won two Oscars, after all, and who hasn’t imagined what it would be like to give an Oscar speech or at least associate with people who’ve done it? But there’s something wrong with Mr. and Mrs. Berry. There’s also something wrong with the famous parents of Giles, Juniper’s neighbor and new friend. Here is one of my favorite descriptions from the book that pretty well sums up all the reasons I’ve decided to avoid becoming famous (yeah, these are the reasons):

Suddenly security was at the gates, pushing the crowd back. But it wasn’t for Juniper’s sake. Mr. and Mrs. Berry’s car was coming though.
As the black Bentley wheeled past the gates, the roar of the crowd grew. Their hands slapped at the tinted windows. “Who’s in there?” the shouted. “Which one is it?” Then, as if in response, Mrs. Berry’s hand emerged from a crack in the rear window and waved. “I love you! I love you!” the crowd shrieked, loud enough for Juniper to hear all the way on the roof. One fan jumped on the hood of the car and had to be forcefully removed. Some were actually crying. “You’re the best!” “Stop, please!” More pounding of palms against the windows and doors. Hands extended markers to sign their pictures and T-shirts, cameras clicked away madly.

We’re suspicious of famous people, I think, or at least I am. Once someone has become so unimaginably famous as to be separated from the rest of us, we suspect there must be something that’s intervened and made them better than us. Brad Pitt must've been the secret son of a god, JK Rowling must've made a deal with the Devil to teach kids about witchcraft in exchange for her success (sorry, she’s really just a better writer), etc. By the way, do you want to know the real reason Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin and so on all died at age 27? Actually, I met Amy Whinehouse (bought her a drink even, which I now regret) and I'm a little amazed she made it past 25.

If you’ve ever suspected some sort of conspiracy amongst the rich and famous, then Juniper Berry is the book for you. I really shouldn’t tell you anymore about the plot and I may have already told you too much. Juniper Berry is a ripping read and the less you know about it going in, the better. But I will tell you this: the subtitle “a tale of terror and temptation” is there for a reason—emphasis on the terror, though there's plenty of temptation. Don’t believe me? Check this lovely passage out:

Without thinking, Juniper ran into the room. “What are you doing?!”

And that was the moment she knew real fear.
Her mother turned to her, her face nearly melting, the skin bubbling from beneath, and screamed at her in a voice of utmost horror. “Get ooouuuutttt!” The words sounded strangled, deep, like a straining and damaged foghorn. Her mother’s eyes were no longer her own; they bulged grotesquely, yet the irises shrank away. Her mouth drooped and sagged as the air of the balloon found its home inside her body, her skin turbulent like boiling water. Bestial moans crept from across the table. There, her father’s head was leaning back, eyes to the ceiling as if satisfied, yet his legs shook violently and his body twitched. Not once did he turn to his daughter.
The veins in her neck pulsating viciously, Mrs. Berry screamed again, “Get ooouuuutttt!” And Juniper fled the room.

Juniper Berry is not for the faint of heart. There are scenes to disturb and to terrify, which I loved, but they may wig really young readers out. M.P. Kozlowsky will show them fear in a handful of book:) So what are you waiting for? Why are you reading this review (not that I don’t appreciate it) when you could be reading the book itself. Juniper Berry is a fun read filled with wild visuals that gets crazier with every chapter that passes.

Review done. That’ll do, Ninja, that’ll do. I’m going to close by reminding you to come back Thursday to read an interview with M.P. Kozlowsky and I’ll leave you with some passages, as always. But I’m also going to leave you with a video of my old mentor, author Will Allison who’s well on his way to becoming a super famous author and if you haven’t read him, you need to. He’s the kind of writer the Ninja longs to become. But first, some more of my favorite passages from Juniper Berry:

…filling the room with thick voices, as if they breathed a fog of sound.

Mrs. Berry stormed through the house, a newspaper crumpled in one fist, a red touch phone in the other, which she was constantly dialing. She had long, thin legs with striking muscle tone. Her torso was also long and seemed to bend like warm rubber, and her fiery mane enveloped her stunning face. She had so much hair, one might not even notice how empty her eyes were.

Juniper crouched all the way down and extended her neck much like a turtle to peer into the room.

Mrs. Maybelline found this hysterical. She guffawed with every ounce of her rather large being, her cheeks reddening, her veins pulsing. “Kids”—she laughed—“you have to love them.” She continued laughing, her bulbous body bouncing jollily. Juniper couldn’t look away. It was quite a sight.

And now, here's the man who taught the Ninja how to be a ninja, Will Allison (buy his book, it's really good):

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

7 Questions For: Literary Agent Terrie Wolf

2011-09-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

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Terrie has traveled the world in search of good stories and great books. As a member of the international media and award-winning writing and promotions teams, Terrie remains honored to have actually made coffee at such venues as CBS, NBC, and Hobson’s Press UK. Her ever-curious nature led her on long-term assignment with Cambridge City Council and the Colorado School for the Deaf and Blind. While her writing credits include the EMMY, Queen's Service Award (UK), La Voz y Papel (Spain), and Young Journalist of the Year, and her studies were completed at Cambridge, NYU and CU-Denver, Terrie lists her most coveted award as that of “Master of Mirth” given by Ringling Bros. Clown College. She joined Anita Kushen and Associates in 2009 as the Foreign Rights Specialist and acquired the agency in 2010.

AKA represents the books we long to share and the books which make us grow. Currently, Terrie is seeking: well-written MG/YA fiction (especially fantasy, historical and action/adventure) and nonfiction (especially biography and teen pop-culture). Terrie specializes in: Empowerment, Children’s (all age groups – F/NF), Romance, MG/YA, Westerns, Women’s, Multi-Cultural and a variety of Nonfiction.

Ms. Wolf’s MG/YA clients include: Louise Caiola (Wishless: L and L), Tasha Cotter, Kevin T. Craig (Summer on Fire: Muse It Up), Carrie Filetti, CJ Dunham, Katie Lyons, and Robert Spiller (The Bonnie Pinkwater Series: Medallion Press). She also represents clients who write within other genres, such as Dr. Cynthia Koelker (101 Ways to Save Money on Health Care: PLUME), Philip Berk (Letting the Light In: Llewellyn), Christian Piatt (PregMANcy: A Dad, A Little Dude and a Due Date: Chalice Press- 2012), and Johnny Knew (The Tree With No Branches: Cutie Pie Publishing - 2012).

As always, for more information about Terri Wolf and other literary agents, I highly recomend my friends Casey McCormick and Natalie Aguirre's wonderful blog, Literary Rambles.

And now Terri Wolf faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

I’m sharing MG and almost-YA favorites.

- The Laura Ingalls Wilder books: When I was 12, my parents gave me the entire collection. It still sits happily on a shelf in my office.

- The works of Neil Gaiman (especially Blueberry Girl and The Graveyard Book).

- Helen Lester’s A Porcupine Named Fluffy and Three Cheers for Tacky. I give a copy of these books to every kid I know as they transition from middle school to high school, and even though Lester’s work is considered to be for children, I think it’s pretty deep. Five year-olds think it’s funny, 12 year-olds identify with the relevance of quiet life lessons.

- Honorable Mention: The works of S.E. Hinton: I was such a tomboy – the fact that this girl wrote as a guy was just too cool for me! And, of course, I’d get in trouble if I didn’t mention Dr. Seuss: Oh, the Places You’ll Go! – I shamelessly quote this book – almost daily. Sorry, that’s a few more than three!

Question Two: What are your top three favorite movies and television shows?

- Movies: Babe (1995), Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), and Homeward Bound (1993).

- TV: I still watch Touched by an Angel on the Hallmark Channel (honest!), absolutely love Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Jeopardy. I’ve “competed” it at least once a week with my kids since they were in elementary school…scary how much more they know than me!

Question Three: What are the qualities of your ideal client?

If I had to choose three words, I’d choose six. They’d be:

Intelligence, involvement and innocence. Humor, humility and honor. I love the author who makes me think, who strives to do more than their best and who manages – especially within MG/YA – to do it with a voice that’s sweet and totally authentic. If I can see just a bit of that author when they were going through the trials of fifth grade, or the first crush or sitting behind the kid at school who never took a bath, then I’m really happy. As for having a sense of humor, well, anyone who makes me laugh out loud gets the vote of approval. Authors who understand that being humble in a working relationship is not a weakness and those with a sense of honor who choose to uphold the secret code are the ones that stay off Terrie’s “Naughty List.”

I think, really, I ought to expect from my clients what they ought to expect of me. By the time the book is released, we’ve hopefully come to what might be seen as a really good marriage.

Question Four: What sort of project(s) would you most like to receive a query for?

I’m not great at following trends. I love magical realism – the just-too-good-to-be-true…maybe – stories. I’m a pushover for good historical fiction. I will also consider well-written non-fiction. I like the well-thought, well-researched work that teaches 12 year-old Terrie something. I also like the book that doesn’t ever speak down to my readers.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about being an agent? What is your least favorite thing?

Favorite: The sense of fearlessness ranks right up there near the top. I truly believe I can, you can, and we can do anything. The fact that anything centers on the art of writing thrills me! We have the ability to affect future generations. I love the fact that I am given the opportunity to work with brilliant people in an industry that continues to morph and change.

Least favorite: I’m not sure I’ve found a least favorite thing. The industry challenges us all to be better and I like that. Of course, it’s tough to tell a client their work has been rejected with little editorial direction. But on those occasions when an editor enlightens us regarding a given submission, I can’t tell you how exciting it feels. I truly believe being told “no” increases the opportunity of “yes” – if that makes sense!

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

First bit: I believe in reading. I’m serious when I question authors regarding their top 25 favorites, especially with regard to genre. By the way, your top reads should change from time to time!

Second: I believe the minute you regret what you’re doing, you need to go do anything else for six months. I’m not talking about a little block or indecision about what to write next, how to solve a plotting issue or how to tackle that muse who makes faces at you from the edge of your writing table. Unless you’re writing about the subject of suffering, I don’t believe writing should be painful. Mind you, pain and difficulty are two different things…

Third: The industry is really quite small. Don’t – I repeat – don’t expect me to join in as you talk down my fellow agents and editors and your fellow authors. I’ll just not be a part. My parents taught me all about etiquette, and I believe in using my best manners with everyone I meet.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

This might be the hardest question of all! So many authors come to mind! Living; I’d love to sit and chat with Mary Pope Osborne, who created the Magic Tree House series. Her work manages to be all that I would have loved to read as an 8 year-old; fun, well-thought and absolutely fantastic. I imagine she’s a breath of fresh air! As for authors who’ve died, I think Margery Williams who authored The Velveteen Rabbit would be a lovely person to share a meal with because she endured much in life yet saw the good, the silver lining, and truly wanted people to realize the value of love.

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Book of the Week: MY BROTHER'S SHADOW by Monika Schröder

2011-09-15T06:33:00.000-07:00

Click here for an interview with author Monika Schröder.

Hello there, Esteemed Reader! I see you have a most curious look in your eye. Could it be you’re wondering if I watched Shark Night 3D and if so, was it as good as that other ninja favorite, Piranha 3D? Oh. You weren’t wondering that at all? You were wondering if we’re ever going to have another literary agent interview? Fair enough. We will indeed have Terrie Wolf of AKA Litererary LLC here on Saturday to face the 7 Questions. And yet I’m still going to talk about the movie:

Shark Night 3D was, alas, a major disappointment. My shark-movie-loving best pal and I had been looking forward to it all summer. We watch all the shark movies together and have recently most enjoyed Sharktopus (God bless you, Roger Corman) and The Reef and our all-time favorite is Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. So, naturally, we were among the first in line at the cinema, fins strapped to our backs, rows of rubber fangs placed in our mouths, black contacts in our eyes—okay, I’m making this up, but we did have popcorn and we ate it somewhat more violently than normal. I would be hard pressed to find two fellows the makers of Shark Night 3D could have more easily won over.

Some will complain the problem with Shark Night 3D lies in its PG-13 rating, forcing the camera to cut away during the really good feeding frenzies. Certainly, this was disappointing. Some will say it was the terrible acting, the flat characters, the nonsensical plot, the hokey special effects—but those who would make those complaints can’t really be lovers of shark movies as aside from Jaws, these are staples of the shark movie. No, the problem lies with the filmmakers themselves: they don’t know who they are or what story they’re telling.

Hillbillies feeding teenagers to sharks and filming the attacks to sell to viewers is an inspired plot, even if it does make the purchaser of a ticket for a movie about shark attacks feel a bit self-conscious. But the filmmakers spend all their screen time focusing instead on the teenagers and their emotional problems as though this is what we paid to see. Aside from one inspired scene in which their apparently streetwise token black friend yells “West Baltimore rules: they got one of ours, we got to get one of theirs” and charges down the beach with a spear, the movie lacks any real feeling or conviction. The filmmakers want us to laugh at the movie, but also be scared and emotionally moved by it, but also not take it too serious. They’re ashamed they're making “just a shark movie,” and therefore never commit to seeking the glory that could've been. And watching them rip off Jaws without putting their own spin on it in the opening scene makes the viewer embarrassed for them.

Don’t you be ashamed of who you are, Esteemed Reader. I know odds are good if you’re reading this, you’re a writer and you have your own storytelling to do. If you’re writing high literature and you want to be taken seriously by literary luminaries, good for you. String those metaphors and rewrite your prose until your novel reads like a long poem. But if that’s not you, own your story. If you’re writing just a romance, or just a thriller, or just a mystery cozy, or just a “children’s story,” you go all in and tell the best version you can. Embrace your genre and don’t worry that it won’t be for everyone. Shark Night 3D was never going to win an academy award, but if it had focused on being the best hilarious shark movie it could be, it would've won my heart and the hearts of all the hoards for whom all these terrible shark movies are made.

Monika Schröder knows who she is and what kind of story she’s telling in My Brother’s Shadow. The book won’t be for everyone, and that’s not a put down by any means. I absolutely loved this book and I have no doubt most readers will love it as well. More, I loved Saraswatti’s Way and was looking forward to see if this book would live up to Schröder's last. It absolutely does and Schröder can be proud that not only has she written one amazing book that everyone should read, now she’s written two.

All this reminds me, there won’t be a writer interview this week. Monika Schröder has already been kind enough to face the 7 Questions and you can read her interview anytime you like. There will, of course, be a literary agent interview on Saturday. I know I told you that already, but I don’t want you to miss it.

My Brother’s Shadow is historical fiction set in Germany in 1918 during the First World War. First World War, I hear you asking. Does that mean there won’t be any Nazis? As Ricky Gervais so correctly pointed out, the only thing basic cable subscribers love as much as Shark Week is programs about Nazis. Of course, there’s a great deal more to the history of Germany than the Nazi party, but you can’t convince Hollywood of that. And it is my sad duty to inform you that in My Brother’s Shadow, although the groundwork is being laid for Nazis, there are no actual Nazis.

What I’m getting at is just as there are Grandmothers and others who are never going to watch Shark Night 3D, even if it hadn’t sucked, and there are some spoiled American children who are never going to read a story about people in another country that happened before they were born (why this should matter to American children, I have no idea, but it does seem to). My Brother’s Shadow is a YA book rather than a middle grade, but I have no doubt some children under 12 would enjoy this story and there’s nothing so very adult to prevent them from reading it. But I’m talking about the children willing to read any historical fiction in the first place, let alone a book about German Nazi-less history set during the First World War.

By its very nature, My Brother’s Shadow has ruled out readers. Almost every book does this to some degree. The Left Behind books were probably never going to be read by Christopher Hitchens and so on. Monika Schröder doesn’t care. She has a story to tell and she’s telling it. If you’re smart, you’ll pick up a copy and enjoy it. I certainly did.

I have to admit that as a child I wouldn’t have read My Brother’s Shadow. I had to have my horizons broadened a bit first. The world is a very big place inhabited by some very small people. I hope Monika Schröder sends me her next book, even if I did eat up so much of her review with shark stuff, because she has an absolute gift. Each of her novels has sucked me completely into another place and taught me a great deal about another culture. I look forward to the experience being repeated. And if you’re the sort of reader who avoids historical fiction, I hope you’ll give it a try. Schröder will change your mind.

Moritz Schmidt is our sixteen-year-old hero caught between two worlds: the repressive regimes traditional order and the coming democratic revolution. His brother Hans is a soldier and he’s hardcore:

It reminds me of Papa, who died at Verdun two years ago. At first his letters are proudly described the devastating impact of the German flamethrowers on the enemy’s morale, but as the battle dragged on he openly expressed his despair. When my mother read one of those sad letters to us my older brother, Hans, turned red in the face and yelled, “Maybe we should send him a nerve tonic to build up his strength if he is such a weakling.” Hans can get angry like that.

Moritz’s mother and sister and new Jewish girlfriend are revolutionaries. Poor Moritz is torn between them and comes to symbolize Germany as a whole—clinging to a revered past for which so much has been sacrificed and yearning for a new future in which democratic prosperity and Jewish girlfriends will be cool with everyone (I don’t have the heart to tell him he might be in for a bit of a wait). And then there’s Hans, who loses an eye and half an arm in a gas explosion and is badly disfigured. With his rhetoric and his appearance, Hans reminded me a bit of Anakin Skywalker toward the end of Revenge of the Sith. And why not? In both cases, a dark empire is coming and we can see it forming in the horizon.

But for all that, My Brother’s Shadow is not about Hans or the likeminded that are going to bring about nasty business for a time. This is a book about Moritz and the German spirit and how it will triumph, even in the face of dark times. After all, American people as a whole are basically good, even as we move from one dark part of our history to the next. Does it not follow that this is also true in other countries?

Through different plot contraptions, Moritz is brought into contact with different characters in multiple locations representing multiple viewpoints, all of which contribute to Moritz’s new view of himself and the reader’s understanding of Germany’s coming revolution. I found each encounter fascinating and Schröder has a gift for making me feel as though I’m there, witnessing each event first-hand. And every adventure Moritz has broadens our knowledge of the time and place and society by delivering important exposition as well as revealing national motivations, as during this robbery scene:

“Look at this. The order of the Crown Cross, Third Class with Swords.” I hold up the metal cross on a blue riboon. “And here is a medal commemorating Kaiser Wilhem I’s hundredth birthday.”

“I’m sure the man of the house is a hero,” Robert says. “Let’s go!”

“Didn’t these people have to give up all their metal to support the war like the rest of us,” I ask. Plants are lined up next to the radiator, each of them growing out of a brass pot. My mind shifts to the time when we brought Mama’s copper pan and water kettle to the resource collection agency. Oma and Mama had even exchanged their wedding rings for thin iron rings and a certificate that praised them for giving “gold for iron.”

“The rich don’t have to give up anything!” Otto snorts. “Wait until you see their pantyr!”

We reach the kitchen at the end of a long hallway. The pantry is filled with sacks of flour, sugar, and lentils. Canned fruits and dried sausages are lined up on a shelf.

“How did they get all this?” I ask. Robert is already chewing on a piece of cheese he has taken from an earthen container.

“Don’t you know that the rich are not suffering? They have connections and money. And they look out for their own,” Otto says.

Schröder also has a knack for cliffhanger chapter endings, such as:

“Then we have this.” Aunt Martha gets up and opens the top drawer of her sideboard. When she turns around she is holding a revolver. The expression on her face shows me that she is determined to use it.

Early on in the book is one of the best cliffhanger chapter endings I've ever read. We’ve learned Moritz supports the government and the old regime as does his companion, or so we’re told. Moritz wants to be a reporter and he jumps at the chance to follow Herr Goldmann to a protest rally to cover it for the paper. That’s when Schröder hits us with this chapter ending:

“This woman has guts,” Herr Goldmann says approvingly. He scribbles something on his notepad. I don’t respond. I can’t tell Herr Goldmann that the woman is my mother. (dum, dum, dum! – MGN)

I’ve got more to say, but that’s where we’re going to have to leave it, Esteemed Reader. I’ve got to post this thing and get to my day job. Be sure to come back on Saturday and next week when M.P. Kozlowsky will be joining us. As always, I’m going to leave you with some of my favorite passages from My Brother’s Shadow as well as an inspirational video to remind you to tell your story with gusto and show the world who you are:

It’s already September, but late summer’s humid heat has returned; it clings to me like a hot, wet towel…

“Or what they call bread, nowadays,” Mama says. Before she sits down at the table she rolls up the sleeves of her blouse. The skin on her hands and arms is tinted yellow from the acid in the ammunition factory.

Mama smiles and lets her arms fall against her skirt. “You are too old for a hug, aren’t you, now?”

I don’t feel too old for anything. For a moment, I want to throw myself onto the floor and pound my fists against the carpet until Mama sits down at the sewing machine. But instead I watch her walk into the kitchen, where she opens the lid over the stove to stoke the fire. When I turn toward the sewing machine I see my own reflection in the windowpane, the reflection of a boy who should have known better.

Hedwig and Mama quickly set the supper table, and when we sit down Hans ravishes the food like a famished animal. I can tell that Mama and Hedwig take less to make sure there is enough for him. Mama asks about the food he ate during the war and Hans thanks her for the packages, describes stews and cold canned food. Yet the conversation feels strained. Hedwig just stares at her plate, and when she does look at Hans she nods as if she is hard of hearing and they are talking over a great distance. Mama keeps moving her hand behind her ear to fasten a strand of hair that has loosened. Then there is only the sound of Hans smacking his lips and swallowing the sausage.

“We’ll get the coffee faster if we take the streetcar,” Rebecca says, and points to one waiting at the corner. We step quickly inside and sis down on a bench in the back. The now is falling heavier now, and thick flakes melt, sliding down the windowpanes. There are no other passengers. Rebecca leans her head against my shoulder. I put my arm around her and bury my face in her hair. We are finally alone.

Click here for an interview with author Monika Schröder.

And now, Esteemed Reader, prepare to believe:

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

7 Questions For: Sheila Kelly Welch

2011-09-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with writers.

Sheila Kelly Welch is the author of Waiting to Forget. Click here to read my review.

Sheila Kelly Welch began writing and drawing in elementary school. Her black crayon was always worn to a nub from sketching horses with long manes and sweeping tails. Now she writes and illustrates for children of all ages. Her story, "The Holding -On Night," published in Cricket, won the International Reading Association’s Short Story Award. Her most popular books are Little Prince Know-It-All and A Horse for All Seasons. Her middle-grade novel, The Shadowed Unicorn, was short-listed for the Prairie Pasque Award, and it was likened to Bridge to Terabithia in a Booklist review. She and her husband live in Illinois where they raised five sons and two daughters. Four of the children were adopted when they were of school age. Although she has two degrees from Temple University, she has learned more from her children than from any college course.

And now, Sheila Kelly Welch faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

This is a very tough question! Okay, if all the books in the world were being destroyed, which three would I save for myself? Picture book: SWIMMY by Leo Lionni; Middle-grade: WINNIE-THE-POOH by A. A. Milne; Adult: A PATCHWORK PLANET by Anne Tyler – Ask me tomorrow and I might give different answers!

Question Two: How much time do you spend each week writing? Reading?

Another difficult one because it varies so widely depending on what project I'm working on and whether I have a deadline. Sometimes the deadline is self-imposed, which helps me stay on task. I probably average (over a year) about 15 hours a week writing and another 5 working on illustrations. Reading? About 15 hours a week.

Question Three: What was the path that led you to publication?

Ever since junior high school, I hoped to write and illustrate for kids. But life got in the way -- teaching, raising our seven children (we cheated – six were adopted), taking care of pets. Then I had open heart surgery and could actually hear my artificial valve ticking away the time. So I got serious and started writing short stories. I researched children’s magazines and two years after my operation, my first story appeared in a magazine.

Question Four: Do you believe writers are born, taught or both? Which was true for you?

In answer to the first question, both, I think. I majored in Fine Arts so I never took a class specifically in writing fiction or in illustration. Many writers, myself included, learn their craft through reading. I'm not referring to how-to books although they can be useful. I am talking about reading lots of books in a variety of genres. This is an enjoyable way to learn! Technique, craft, plotting, etc. can be learned. However, a striking individual voice and use of language, I think, are probably born in some people. But the writing life -- which involves people who spend time writing whether published or not -- takes a good deal of persistence and dedication plus a hopeful attitude if publication is a goal. These traits, also, seem to be innate.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about writing? What is your least favorite thing?

My favorite thing about writing is the creative process – making something from scratch and being able to share this with children. I find it very satisfying. The one and only thing that I dislike about writing is typing. I've never been a great typist, and I am a poor speller, but now I have a medical condition that makes typing very difficult. And writing by hand is even harder.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

To adults who really want to write and get published, I'd say read a LOT and write a LOT. Write about the things that interest you and are important to you. The truth is, writers write. And now, with the stigma attached to self-publishing dissolving and the cost dwindling, getting published is within almost every writer’s grasp.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Oh my! To make this a bit easier, I will not drag anyone from the grave. I would totally love to sit down with Beverly Cleary and tell her how our oldest son (now 41 years old) got hooked on reading because of her books. And now a granddaughter (age six) is loving those same Ramona tales. If Beverly couldn't make it, I'd choose Kevin Henkes because his middle-grade novels are small masterpieces. And he actually used the word "saffron" twice in one of his books, and I have a granddaughter named Saffron.

Click here for more interviews with writers.

www.scbwi-illinois.org/Welch.html

Book of the Week: WAITING TO FORGET by Sheila Kelly Welch

2011-09-06T05:30:00.000-07:00

Click here to read an interview with author Sheila Kelly Welch.

Hey there, Esteemed Reader! Thanks so much for all your kind birthday wishes on Facebook. I’ve never had so many people wish me a happy birthday in my life. Especially since I’m terrible about wishing my Facebook friends a happy birthday back. At the moment, I have 1,804 friends and that’s a lot of birthday wishing for one ninja. If you aren’t yet my Facebook friend, I hope you will be soon even if I will forget to wish you a happy birthday.

I’m not just a bad friend on Facebook. I’m also a terrible friend in real life:) In a moment I’m going to tell you all about the truly excellent Waiting to Forget by Sheila Kelly Welch, who will be here on Thursday to face the 7 Questions. I’m going to share some passages with you and fumble around trying to breakdown some of Welch’s techniques as always. But first I have to tell you about my friend and former mentor Will Allison’s new book, Long Drive Home. And I’m a bad friend because Long Drive Home came out at the beginning of the summer and I only just got around to reading it.

Movies and videogames are fine to discuss here at the top, but I try not to talk about another book in my book reviews as it’s like chatting up another woman while I’m on a date (not for many years). Long Drive Home is an adult book and as much as I loved and would fully recommend it to any literate person, I’m not going to review it here. But there’s no reason I can’t at least endorse it and remind you that Will Allison is one of the best and most exciting writers of our time and we had him here to face the 7 Questions. Actually, he was one of the first writers I ever interviewed and thanks to his initial leap of faith, I’ve been able to convince other writers and literary agents to answer the same 7 Questions we look forward to on a weekly basis.

Long Drive Home is very different from Will’s first book, What You Have Left (another Ninja favorite). Granted, he’s still talking fathers and daughters, but I knew Will could write incredibly memorable characters to haunt the reader for years, and poignant passages so well constructed they make me want to sign up for his writing course all over again. What I didn’t know was that Will could write suspense so taught, Long Drive Home belongs on a shelf next to the best of Stephen King and John Grisham. I couldn’t put Long Drive Home down and you won’t be able to either. And the ending is simply beautiful. But I’m not going to tell you anymore, I’m just going to encourage you to buy your own copy and prepare for an awesome reading experience.

Waiting to Forget: Were you talking about another book when you’re supposed to be here with me?

MGN: What? Naw, girl, you crazy.

Waiting to Forget:Then why is there some other book's amazon link on your post?

MGN: Um...

Waiting to Forget: I’m out of here. I’m going to find a blogger who knows how to treat a book.

MGN: Naw, girl, it ain’t like that. Come on back, baby. I can review you better than them:

Waiting to Forget is the Long Drive Home of middle grade fiction. Wait, no, that’s not true. I can’t back that up at all. But like Long Drive Home, it is a wonderful read that I am highly recommending. It’s a sad read, at times, but also moving and poignant. You won’t be “waiting to forget” that you read Waiting to Forget… because… it’s really good and… yeah, this sentence didn’t work out at all. Let’s just go on to the next paragraph, shall we:)

Meet T.J., also known as Timothy, also known as Terry Jerry, and “it’s not unusual” for him to be referred to as Tom Jones (cracking myself up this week). But he prefers T.J. (for most of the story) and he’s an eleven-year-old kid with an adult’s problems because there is no adult to handle his problems for him. When we first encounter T.J., he’s sitting in a hospital waiting room, which is an appropriate place for him to be given the title of the book. T.J. is waiting to find out whether or not his little sister Angela is going to die or not.

It’s a good hook, one we’ve seen before and one we’ll see again because some things just work and always will. Even before we know anything about the characters, we are at least somewhat curious about what’s going to happen. Just knowing a little girl might die and her big brother will have to be told about it is inherently suspenseful.

Welch can’t leave it here, of course. She still has to tell us what happened and who this little boy and little girl are to really draw us in, and she does, but it takes some pages and this premise will catch us on page one. Better yet, Welch doesn’t tell us the fate of the little girl until the very end, so to have your natural curiosity satisfied, you’ll have to read the whole book. And as we learn more about these children and come to love them as characters, the question of Angela’s fate becomes all the more compelling and pulls us right through the story. That’s why they call it a hook.

Another thing in Welch’s favor is that the tone of Waiting to Forget allows us to believe in the possibility that Angela could die, and that’s very important. Imagine, if you will, a television special in which one of those stupid care bears is critically injured (I would actually tune in if this ever happened) and the other care bears waited in the hospital to find out if Fuzzy Fluffington (I don’t know what their actual names are) is going to bite it. There’s no real suspense here because we all know by the end of the episode they’re going to gather together and do their deus-ex-machina care-bear stare that makes everything better like they always do and Fuzzy Fluffington will come back to life (please, please let him have acquired an unnatural appetite for the flesh of other care bears).

What I’m getting at is in order for the old will-one-of-the-main-characters-die-by-the-end-of-this-story hook to work, we have to believe the writer is willing to shoot her hostage. For this reason (among others), this hook is not appropriate for every story. But Welch has a crazy look in her eye. She’ll do it, man. The tone of Waiting to Forget is somber and realistic. A lot of very sad things happen before the end and the death of a little girl would, in some ways, be par for the course.

Esteemed Reader, you know I would never tell you whether the little girl dies or not, so let’s move on. Waiting to Forget is broken into two sections called “Now” and “Then.” Now is T.J. in the hospital with his new foster parents, but most of the novel is concerned with Then, which is everything that happened prior to Now. T.J.’s mother is, or was... well, I’ll let T.J. tell you:

Momma wanted to get out. She wanted to go have some fun. T.J. thought he understood. Momma was like the fragile green bug with transparent wings that had wandered into the living room one night. It had circled the lamp next to the couch where he and Angela were supposed to be sleeping. The little bug tried to get closer and closer to the light, which T.J. finally turned off, despite Angela's squeals of protest, just so he wouldn't hear the incessant ping, ping, ping of the bug hitting the bulb. In the morning, the insect was gone. Nightlife--bars and men and music--were like a lamp to Momma, drawing her away from home when night came.

Momma is a frustrating character. What makes a bad parent? Having been contemplating parenthood, this is a question I find myself asking myself often. Mrs. Ninja and I know a couple who allowed their little brat to run around yelling and making a mess during dinner and who only laughed when the punk kicked me in the face. Never have I been so tempted to spank someone else’s kid—he could use it, but Daddy just laughed, and it was his call. Now that’s bad parenting, but all things being relative, I wouldn’t recommend social services take away junior. Dad’s a jerk and he’s raising a little jerk, but this is America, and with so many kids homeless and/or abused, the kid’s better off than many.

Momma is the sort of mixed-up person your heart goes out to, but who you probably wouldn’t want to know. Welch shares enough of Momma’s back-story to make her briefly empathetic, but in the end she and her endless string of no-good boyfriends is the problem. Unfortunately, some of the best people in the word aren’t able to have children and some of the worst of humanity breeds like the inhabitants of Watership Down. This means the popularity of Larry the Cable Guy and Tyler Perry will only increase in future generations (shakes head sadly).

This story isn’t about Momma, or I would have stopped reading it after a few chapters. I have an old friend whose phone calls I dread because she has been on a path to destroy her life for a while and every time I talk to her, she’s a little further along. It isn’t any fun hearing what she’s been up to, I can’t live her life for her, and whatever she tells me, I know it’s not going to be good, because of the way she’s chosen to live. I try to miss her phone calls and I wouldn’t read a book about her. But my old friend doesn’t have children. She makes me sad, but I don’t want to shake her the way I wanted to shake Momma as I read Waiting to Forget.

Thankfully, this story is about T.J. and Angela. T.J. has to become Angela’s parent because otherwise she would have none. As much as I hated Momma, I liked her kids. I wanted to find out what happened to them. T.J. is a character who’s as relatable as he is because of the conflict that surrounds him. His goal is a happy home for he and his sister—what reader wouldn’t relate to that goal? The opposition against him is tremendous. This is a story worth reading and immediately interesting. What greater opposition can an eleven-year-old face than his own mother and her abusive boyfriends?

Waiting to Forget is an exciting read that has some very sad parts, but a few laughs as well, and leaves the reader with a sense of triumph among tragedy. I’m not going to say anything more as I don’t want to spoil the whole book, but pick up a copy. You’ll be glad you did. And when you do, ask yourself “what is the significance of T.J. telling us that his mother is dead,” which sounds like a craft point I probably should have discussed. But I’m not sure how to do it without ruining the novel. So, instead, I’ll remind you to come back on Thursday to read an interview with author Sheila Kelly Welch and leave you with some of my favorite passages from Waiting to Forget:

T.J. watched Momma leave, swinging her hips and her purse as she went down the front walk. Her reddish hair looked alive, almost like flames, licking at her shoulders. He knew she wasn't getting her hair done. She'd met a new man.

By the time T.J. got home from school that day, the dog had made a couple of puddles on the rug that were bigger than the dog.

Then he squints down at the sun picture, wishing it gave off heat like the real sun. The waiting room is chilly, the air clammy and stale, and he thinks he can taste disinfectant on his lips.

T.J. wished he were Spider-Man and could climb out a window and up the side of the building to the roof.

The day felt endless and dreary like the dark spring sky.

Click here to read an interview with author Sheila Kelly Welch.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

7 Questions For: Literary Agent Lucienne Diver

2011-08-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with literary agents

Lucienne Diver joined The Knight Agency in 2008, after spending fifteen years at New York City’s prestigious Spectrum Literary Agency. With her sharp eye and gift for spotting original new voices, Lucienne is one of the most well-respected agents in the industry. A lifelong book addict, she graduated summa cum laude from the State University of New York at Potsdam with dual majors in English/writing and anthropology. She thus came well-equipped for her work as an agent.

Over the course of her dynamic career she has sold over seven hundred titles to every major publisher, and has built a client list of more than forty authors spanning the commercial fiction genres, primarily in the areas of fantasy, science fiction, romance, mystery, suspense and erotica. Her authors have been honored with the RITA, National Readers' Choice Award, the Golden Heart, and the Romantic Times Reader’s Choice, and have appeared on the New York Times and USA Today bestseller lists. A publishing veteran, Lucienne has superb industry knowledge, numerous editor relationships, and a keen understanding of the foreign rights market. She is a member of the Association of Authors Representatives, RWA, MWA and SFWA.

Lucienne Diver is a literary agent by day, a writer and journeyman jeweler by night. She started writing in her teens because talking back to the voices in her head wasn't socially acceptable—and she already had enough to deal with being a drama and AP English geek.

Her credits include short stories and a romantic comedy written under the pseudonym Kit Daniels. With her young adult novel Vamped, she's taking off the mask and stepping into the full glare of ... indirect sunlight. Because as her heroine would tell you, anything else is hazardous to your health, especially once you've been Vamped.

For more information about Lucienne Diver, as well as other literary agents, I cannot overstate the benefeits of reading my friends Casey McCormick and Natalie Aguirre's incredible blog, Literary Rambles.

And now, Lucienne Diver faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

Wow, only three? Eek! We’ll start with The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare, because that’s probably the one I’ve reread most often. It was my favorite growing up, to the point where I wanted to name a son Nathaniel until my husband talked me out of it. Then there’s the incredible Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Utterly compelling. Once I sat down to read it, I realized I would have no life until I finished. I was right. After that, it’s impossible to say. Could never pick just one book by Mary Stewart, who is one of my all-time favorites. I also grew up reading all the gothic romance novelists: Phyllis Whitney, Victoria Holt, etc. I loved Ken Follett’s Pillars of the Earth, but found it a dense read, best enjoyed in increments rather than the single sitting it usually takes me to swallow books whole. I’m a big Janet Evanovich and Laurell K. Hamilton fan. I love Rick Riordan, Joshilyn Jackson and Agatha Christie and…. Well, you get the idea. I’m a voracious and eclectic reader.

Question Two: What are your top three favorite movies and television shows?

#1 here is easy: it has to be Charade with Carey Grant and Audrey Hepburn, who also happen to be my two favorite actors ever. As usual, two and three are tougher. I’m a huge Hitchcock fan. If I had to choose a single one of his films, it would probably be The Rope for its sheer psychological suspense. For television, I’m a So You Think You Can Dance addict and a mystery/forensic show junkie.

Question Three: What are the qualities of your ideal client?

I love authors who are stunningly brilliant, pragmatic and professional. The first makes them a joy to read, the second and third a joy to work with.

Question Four: What sort of project(s) would you most like to receive a query for?

I’ve got a very full list at this time, so I’m not actively looking for any particular type of work. That said, I’m always happy to be blown away by something new. There’s nothing more exciting than selling someone’s first novel. I represent all kinds of commercial fiction: fantasy, science fiction, mystery, suspense, romance and young adult. I’m looking at middle-grade as well, since I’ve become a big fan of the genre via reading alongside my son.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about being an agent? What is your least favorite thing?

My favorite thing is the people I work with – authors, editors, readers, reviewers. They all share my love of books. They’re my people. My least favorite thing is reading legalese, so all of the boilerplate changes the publishers have made and all the language we’ve had to quibble over, particularly in the past year, has been wearing.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

There is so much advice out there that I’d suggest always remembering that your path is your own. There is no one single route to publication. No one else’s journey mimics another, so don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others or worrying that you have to do something someone else’s way. Go your own way. Run all advice through your own internal filter of experience and common sense and come up with a game plan that works for you.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Wow, that’s a tough one. I think it would be Mary Stewart. Reading her work has given me so much pleasure over the years. Her relationships and the way that she expresses herself are so beautiful that I imagine she would be as well.

Click here for more interviews with literary agents

www.knightagency.net

http://luciennediver.wordpress.com

www.luciennediver.com

7 Questions For: Taylor Morris

2011-08-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with writers

Taylor Morris is the author of the Hello, Gorgeous! series as well as BFF Breakup and other titles. Click here to read my review of BFF Breakup. She lives in New York City with her orchestra conductor husband and their two cats, who have hyphenated last names.

And now Taylor Morris faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

Not a fair question! It changes based on recent reads, not to mention my mood, but I’ll give it a shot. Gone With the Wind is one. Can I count the Harry Potter series as another? Third, I’ll pick a favorite from what I’ve read this year—Lauren Oliver’s Delirium. The idea of the book could have gone so wrong and a bit cheesy, but she handled it perfectly and I was enthralled from cover to cover.

Question Two: How much time do you spend each week writing? Reading?

Another reason why it’s great to live in New York City is that I commute by subway everywhere, and that’s invaluable time I have reading. I’d say that each week I spend about ten hours or more reading, including on the subway, waiting for the subway, and at night before I go to bed.

As for writing, I write just about every day, including weekends and some holidays but how many hours I spend depends on if I’m on deadline. Since I’m in the midst of writing a series right now, that means I’m always on a deadline! I would say I spend a solid 25 hours each week doing actual writing. The rest of my time I’m thinking about what I’m writing and how to write an upcoming scene.

Question Three: What was the path that led you to publication?

College was definitely a part of my path to publication. Emerson College is where I fully realized I wanted to write fiction and had the first thoughts that maybe I could one day get something published. New York is the second thing that led to my being published because it’s where the third thing that led to my being published happened—I attended a novel writing workshop with Media Bistro. I wrote a first draft of a novel in that class, and someone in class recommended an agent to me, who I later signed with and who later sold that first book (Class Favorite). College + New York City + Media Bistro = Taylor Morris published

Question Four: Do you believe writers are born, taught or both? Which was true for you?

Definitely a bit of both. I think we all have hidden talents that may never be released if we’re not taught to nurture them. But if you’re not a writer deep down inside your soul, no amount of teaching can make you a good writer. I tried writing stories as a very young child but for me, having constructive criticism helped make me so much better—both in college and in courses like Media Bistro.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about writing? What is your least favorite thing?

My favorite thing about writing is finishing something I’m working on. My least favorite thing about writing is finishing something I’m working on. I find writing difficult and incredibly rewarding.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

Develop a thick skin. Writing is a personal thing and when people don’t like something we’ve written—published or unpublished—it can sting. But every writer gets criticized, even the best authors. It’s better to be critiqued and criticized before you have something published than after—so make sure you give your writing to people you trust to get a different perspective. Feedback only makes us better. It may hurt to hear that a beloved character comes off as whiny or annoying, but learning how to fix such things will only make for a better story.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Whoever it was I’m sure I’d become a bumbling fangirl and be utterly mute! But if I could choose anyone I’d like it to be J.K. Rowling. I think she’s brilliant. When Oprah interviewed her in the final season I hung on her every word—her ideas and writing process, what she thinks of wealth, religion, herself…she’s endlessly fascinating and an incredible writer and storyteller.

Click here for more interviews with writers

www.taylormorris.com

Book of the Week: BFF BREAK UP by Taylor Morris

2011-08-23T04:59:00.000-07:00

Click here to read an interview with author Taylor Morris.

Greetings, Esteemed Reader! Sorry to have missed you these last couple weeks, but an editing job is never done. I’m back again to discuss BFF Break up with you today, we’ll have author Taylor Morris here on Thursday to face the 7 Questions, and on Saturday we’ll have one of our famed literary agent interviews with Lucienne Diver of the Knight Agency. It’s going to be a good week and I’m thrilled to share it with you.

You may remember, Esteemed Reader, (or you may never have cared) the ninja took a month off from posting to edit a manuscript. If you don’t remember, here’s a post I wrote about it. The editing and polishing are done, until a certain agent or editor tells me otherwise, so I'm back to scrawling a rough draft. This, once again, leaves me free to post so I can return to your regularly scheduled ninja.

That and then. Then and that. These are the two words I have sworn eternal vengeance on and I've been spending my mornings seeking them out and destroying them, wherever they may hide. Every writer has his weak points in sentence construction. I myself have several (as you know), but this is the one I’m most presently aware of. So I’ll share my shortcomings with you in the hopes that if you have a similar weakness in your writing, you too can root it out before an editor or agent turns you down.

As I edit my manuscript, which alas, has no werewolves in it (and I call myself a writer), I’ve been coming across passages like this one: Protagonist saw that the werewolf was scratching at the back door. He racked his silver shotgun, aimed at the beast’s terrible head, and then pulled the trigger.

At a glance, this passage appears just fine and a werewolf being shot is always a good time. After all, the sentences are grammatically correct and free of obvious flab, such as—as is often the case in my writing, particularly in these blog posts—unnecessary clauses, usually set off by commas, which are another favorite of mine, though they slow down the reader, which we should never want to do, because, and this is just my personal opinion, they make a sentence, such as this one, clunky, like an old car, and nearly impossible to read.

But flab is not always so obvious. A single unnecessary word such as that and/or then will also slow the reader. It may not be so bad in one sentence, but too many sentences with extra words have a cumulative effect, like grains of sand lodged in an engine (my best metaphor of the week and I wasted it here instead of putting it my rough draft!). Wrap your eyes around this revision and see how much faster and clearer the sentence reads:

Protagonist saw the werewolf scratching at the back door. He racked his silver shotgun, aimed at the beast’s terrible head, and pulled the trigger.

Better yet:

The werewolf scratched at the back door. Protagonist racked his silver shotgun, aimed at the beast’s terrible head and pulled the trigger.

Shorter is better. Almost always. And if, like me, you suffer from diarrhea of the keyboard, this has hopefully been a useful tip on how to get your word count down. If, on the other hand, you’re Taylor Morris, you’re probably wondering why the heck I’m not discussing your book already.

Actually, it’s sort of funny that I should be the blogger to discuss BFF Breakup. I couldn’t help but howl laughter at the following juxtaposition earlier this week. I have a firm rule: at 9:00pm, the television/xbox is turned off and the reading begins. Prior to 9:00pm, I was enjoying Piranha 3D, which is one of my favorite films because the storytellers know exactly what anyone willing to watch a 3D Piranha movie most wants to see and deliver.

At 9:00pm, I turned off the collection of half naked people being nibbled to death by fish and settled in with a mug of warm apple cider to read a book about two teenage girls and their emotional issues. It’s a strange life I’m living sometimes and if I may offer Taylor Morris one friendly bit of advice: next book, add some piranhas. I’m sure she’ll be inviting me to join her critique group soon:)

Meet Brooke. Then meet Madeline. Then meet Brooke again. Each alternating chapter of BFF Breakup is written from the first-person perspective of one of the two BFF’s, so that each gets to share her side of the story of their BFF Breakup. Every chapter is helpfully titled after the girl whose perspective we’re currently reading, but after the first couple of chapters, this isn’t really necessary. Both Brooke and Madeline are fully realized characters with their own particular style of communicating, and it is a testament to Morris’s strength as a writer that we do not need to be told who is narrating. By the end of the book, we would recognize either Brooke or Madeline anywhere.

So here’s a question for you, Esteemed Reader: why does Morris begin her story with the BFF’s breaking up (and never mind that the book’s title is a major spoiler). Like the best suspense fiction and the entire series of Lost, Morris shows us the terrible thing that has happened and then flashes back to show us all the events that led to the terrible thing, the exposition made all the more thrilling because the reader knows somehow, someway, it’s all leading up to the terrible thing. And what is this terrible thing? I think it best I let Brooke tell you:

And just like once I could never imagine a world in which we wouldn’t be friends, now I couldn’t imagine a world in which we could ever be friends again. We’d never swim in her pool when it was raining with dark clouds overhead and hoping it didn’t lightning because then her mom would call us in for sure. We’d never race four-wheelers in the back field between our houses. My mom would never make us cinnamon rolls from scratch on Saturday morning after a sleepover, and our moms would never again joke with each other that we were like sisters they shared custody of.

At the beginning of this story is violence—not of the piranha variety, alas, but violence for certain. It’s emotional violence, and emotional violence can be every bit as much a threat as actual violence in a story. The problem, as Morris knows, is violence, even the emotional sort, isn’t really interesting until it’s happening to a character the reader is invested in.

To prove it, I talked last week with a woman in my professional line of work who only recently divorced her husband. This is sad, maybe, or maybe it’s a good thing. There’s no way for you to know for sure based on the information I’ve given you and unless you yourself only just recently dealt with a divorce, I doubt it had any sort of emotional impact. If you have, invoking an emotional response from you is simply shooting fish in a barrel (ahh, cliché’s, how I love you). Unfortunately, a writer cannot count on push-over readers.

In order for you to feel anything, I would have to tell you details like the fact that this woman can’t stop crying and has locked herself in a room for a week, and her sister had to move in to take care of her children because Mommy seems to have forgotten them. Or perhaps her husband was abusive and after one too many episodes, this woman shot him in the gut and was calling me from a shelter, finally free and triumphant. As I’m not a monster, I’m not going to share the actual details with you, but if I wanted you to care about this woman, I would have to.

And that’s what Morris is up to. Because she has chosen to write from the perspective of two characters, we have to care about each of them as well as their friendship. We need to know how they rush to meet in the backyard to share their junior high schedules, even though Madeline is grounded at the time, and how they love to make cookies together and how they can really only discuss their feelings about their parents with each other. Their friendship is what’s at stake from the start of the tale to the end and unless the reader believes in it and cares about it, there is no story.

So do Brooke and Madeline patch things up? I’m not going to tell you, but I will say that their reasons for breaking up are universal and I can’t imagine the reader who won’t sympathize with both girls. Best friendship is the romance of the middle grade world, and as there’s no swearing or outstanding adult content, I would place BFF Breakup firmly in the upper end of middle grade.

It is interesting, though, this idea of best friends being like a marriage during the preteen years. Morris believes this. Why else would she contrast the breakup of our BFFs with the divorce of Madeline’s parents? I myself have had the same best friend since the third grade and during our teenage years, we spent most of our free time doing everything together. Now he’s married and so am I, but we still get together for late night Street Fighter II sessions—we even let his son play.

The girls’ relationship is universal as are their motives for breaking up. Madeline wants to reach out and make new friends, but isn’t that cheating on Brooke? Brooke is jealous and makes a bit of a fool of herself. I think every best friend knows what it’s like to want to make new friends as well as the pang of jealousy when their best friend is having fun with someone other than themselves. What I enjoyed is the number of plot points and instances that reminded me of a love story, such as our BFFs catching each other’s eye across a crowded room:

It would be impossible to perfectly describe the moves Chris laid out on that dance floor. There was spinning on his back, of course, and his signature worm with an added lift-up onto the points of his toes. He also managed to twist and jerk his body in a way that had the whole school cheering him on. I was right there in the midst, cheering too. Corrine and Lily appeared by my side and we encouraged Chris in his first real solo. As I laughed and clapped my hands to the beat, I looked across and saw Madeline. She was standing with her friends, smiling, but looking at me. I must have just caught her. We both paused, and she smiled brighter, just for me, and nodded her head ever so slightly. In that Instant I felt that maybe, somehow, things were going to get better.

And that’s going to do it, except I couldn’t help but notice just how many descriptions of clothing and fashion sense in general permeate BFF Breakup. Ordinarily, lengthy descriptions of every character’s outfit are a waste of time as is much physical description as the reader will inevitably fill in those details with their own imagination anyway. But in Taylor Morris’s case, I believe her descriptions of fashion are right up her reader’s alley. I especially enjoyed how often clothing, either a discussion of or the loaning of, was the trigger for a story event or was used to symbolize the state of the girl’s friendship. For example:

"Hey, let me ask you something. And you have to be totally honest." I nodded. "What do you think of these shorts?"
I didn't know her so I didn't really feel like I could tell her I didn't like them, but I also figured if she got mad, then oh well. It's not like we were friends. So I said, "I like them, but I think they'd be even cuter without the belt."
She considered me, nodding her head. "Now I know I can trust you," she said. "My friends kept telling me they looked cute, but I just knew there was something off about them. That's a really cool necklace you're wearing, by the way."
My hand went to my necklace, a small gold treasure box on a long chain. I was wearing it especially for today. Brooke got it for me on a trip she took to Colorado three years ago. She told me she'd been saving her allowance and birthday money to buy something for herself, but when she saw the necklace, she knew I'd love it. And I did. I wore it when I needed extra goodness in my day.

Come on back Thursday to see author Taylor Morris face the 7 Questions, and again on Saturday for literary agent Lucienne Diver. Next week we’ll have author Sheila Kelly Welch and in the coming weeks we’ll have some returning champions and a few surprises as well. And now, as always, I’ll leave you with some of my favorite passages from BFF Breakup:

Naturally, Madeline sat on the floor just staring at the lockers across the hall like they were hypnotizing her into buying more ugly accessories.

I felt it again. Oh, why hello there, tears. So nice to see you again after three whole hours of your absence. (very Stephen King -- MGN)

"Hardly," she said, and held out her hand for me to slap, tap, then bump. Just like always.

"What is this?" an oh-so-maternal voice bellowed. Yes, my mother actually bellows.

Click here to read an interview with author Taylor Morris.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

7 Questions For: Literary Agent Liza Voges

2011-07-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with literary agents

Liza Pulitzer Voges has been a literary agent for childrens' book author and illustrators for almost 30 years working with over 40 clients. Highlights of the years include Lois Ehlert's Caldecott Honor for COLOR ZOO; Gloria Whelan's National Book Award forHOMELESS BIRD; and Sucie Stevenson's E.B. White award for HENRY AND MUDGE AND THE GREAT GRANDPAS. The growth of authors such as Dan Gutman, Joan Holub, Suzanne Williams, Shutta Crum, and many others is what makes the job irresistible.

Picture books are still of interest but I'm also interested in young adult, particularly for boys. A middle grade fantasy would also be fun to see. Check out the Eden Street website at http://www.edenstreetlit.com/ for more information.

And now Liza Voges faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

I have many, many in both adult and children's books but all time, my three favorite books are MARCH (Brooks), WE'RE GOING ON A BEAR HUNT(Oxenbury), and MOO BAH LA LA LA(Boyton) -- I could read them over and over (have have!)

Question Two: What are your top three favorite movies and television shows?

JANY EYRE, WALLACE AND GROMIT,MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS; TV: Modern Family, Foyle's War and BBC Mystery.

Question Three: What are the qualities of your ideal client?

Professionalism, loyalty, curiosity -- Professionalism because it shows commitment to the business; loyalty as it shows character, and curiosity as it shows willingness to grow.

Question Four: What sort of project(s) would you most like to receive a query for?

Unique historical fiction such as REVOLUTION or NORTHERN LIGHT or PRISONER IN THE PALACE and a wonderful middle grade fantasy.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about being an agent? What is your least favorite thing?

My favorite thing is finding just the right editor for an author! Least favorite thing is reading more contracts in a day than manuscripts -- actually that is bittersweet!

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

Read, read, read and know your market! Take time to enjoy the craft too!

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Louisa May Alcott -- I love to know more about how her sense of family came to be such a means to her creativity and talent.

Click here for more interviews with literary agents

www.edenstreetlit.com

7 Questions For: Dan Gutman

2011-07-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with writers.

Dan Gutman was raised in a mud hut by a pack of wild monkeys in the rainforest of Rangoon.Okay, okay, he really grew up in New Jersey. In fact, he still lives there. But being raised by wild monkeys in Rangoon would have been a lot cooler.

Dan compensated for his bland and uneventful childhood by growing up to write farfetched stories for kids such as The Genius Files (Click here to read the Ninja's review of the first book in the series, Mission Unstoppable), Homework Machine, The Million Dollar Shot, and his popular baseball card adventure series. He’s also written a whole bunch of other books that didn't sell and went out of print, so we won’t mention them here.

Like a lot of boys, Dan hated to read, but loved sports. That’s one big reason why he writes a lot about sports and aims his books at reluctant readers like himself. Unfortunately, he was a lousy athlete as a kid. In fact, he was so bad that his friends made him play one-on-one, with himself.

Dan graduated from Rutgers University in 1977 with a degree in psychology (which means, in Latin, "a total waste of time").. He never took a writing class in his life, and it shows. He doesn’t know how to create beautiful “word pictures.” He never learned the standard formula for a novel. There is no symbolism or deep moral lessons in his books. He still doesn’t know the difference between a simile and a metaphor.

Dan’s books are known for four things: a quirky, exciting plot that grabs the reader and won’t let go, an almost total lack of (boring) description, and a surprise ending. Wait, that’s only three things. Well, Dan’s books are also made out of paper. That makes four things. Also, he always sticks the name Herb Dunn into his novels somewhere. This is just a cheap trick to force his old college friend Herb Dunn to read his books.

When he’s not writing books, Dan loves to travel, ride his bike, and write self-aggrandizing third-person autobiographies like this one.We could go on and on telling you lots of great stuff about Dan, his fantastic books, and what a terrific guy he is. But it would be a big bore. Besides, you’ve got more important stuff to do, like sort out your recycling. So if you want to find out more about Dan or his brilliant and wonderful daughter Emma who is looking over his shoulder as he writes this, go to his web site (http://www.dangutman.com/).

Dan thinks you should buy lots of his books, for three reasons. Kids will love them, and Dan needs the money.Wait, that’s only two reasons.

And now Dan Gutman faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

The Invention of Hugo Cabret," by Brian Selznick. "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. "Ball Four" by Jim Bouton.

Question Two: How much time do you spend each week writing? Reading?

How much time do you spend each week writing? Not as much as you'd think. I can only write for two or three hours a day without my head exploding. I have a short attention span, I guess (like my readers). But I spend much more time than that making phone calls, writing letters, paperwork, doing research, and especially responding to email. That takes up most of my time. Reading? If I can make it through The New York Times every day, I consider it an accomplishment. I try to read a book at night before bed, but I often fall asleep while doing it. I wish I had more time to read, but life gets in the way. Most of my reading is research for my books.

Question Three: What was the path that led you to publication?

For "The Genius Files," HarperCollins suggested I try an action/adventure story, along the lines of "Alex Rider" by Anthony Horowitz. So I read one of the books, and thought, "Wow, this is really good! I could never write anything as good as this." But I sat down and thought about it, and even though I'm no Anthony Horowitz, I could write an action/adventure story in my own style. So I thought I'd have TWO main characters, a boy and a girl, so ALL kids would relate to the story. They're twins, and their names are Coke and Pepsi. I thought it would be exciting to have them take a cross-country driving trip over the summer with their parents, and have these lunatic bad guys trying to kill them the whole time. So it was very hard work (and also fun) to plot out their route and think up unusual ways for the twins to get in and out of trouble. The first Genius Files book came out in January, and Coke and Pepsi got from California to Wisconsin. In the second book, which comes out next January, they get from Wisconsin to Washington D.C. And now I'm working on the third book, which gets them from Washington to Memphis. Finally, #4 will get them from Memphis back home. That is, if they survive.

Question Four: Do you believe writers are born, taught or both? Which was true for you?

I can only speak for myself. In my case, like Lady Gaga, I was born this way. Writing always came naturally to me. I never took any writing classes. I studied psychology in college, and even went to graduate school for two years. It wasn't until after that, when I was about 25, that I decided to try to make it as a writer. And I struggled for a long time writing for adults--about fifteen years--before I started to have any success writing for kids.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about writing? What is your least favorite thing?

My favorite thing is the freedom. I don't have a job, a boss telling me what to do, or a commute to some office somewhere. I can dress like a slob (and I do). If something interests me--like baseball, for instance--I can spend the next six months creating a book on that subject. My other favorite thing is turning kids on to reading. I didn't get into this field to save the world or anything, but when you can make such an impact on somebody's life simply by writing some silly words on a piece of paper, well, that's really rewarding.

My least favorite thing is that despite that freedom, I am still very much dependent on other people for my success or failure. If a publisher does not advertise or promote a book, or if they design a lousy cover for it and it doesn't sell as a result, kids will not read it and there's not much I can do. That's very frustrating. The best stuff I ever wrote, I think, was my worst-selling books. On the other hand, of course, I've written some books that I didn't think were that great, and they sold very well.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? After you write your first draft, look at it. Read it out loud. And while you are reading it out loud, PRETEND THAT YOU'RE NOT YOU. Pretend you're somebody else. A friend. A stranger. Whatever. And when you read your own writing through somebody else's eyes, you will see the mistakes you have made, and you'll see how you can make your writing better. That's a little trick I use. And of course, go to my website (http://www.dangutman.com/) and click on TIPS FOR YOUNG AUTHORS.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Paul McCartney and John Lennon, together. When people ask me what book or author inspired me the most when I was growing up, I can't think of any. I didn't even like to read when I was a kid. The people who inspired me the most, and still do, were The Beatles. I admired their originality, their songwriting, their willingness to evolve, experiment, and break the rules. And of course, their genius.

Click here for more interviews with writers.

www.dangutman.com

Book of the Week: THE GENIUS FILES: MISSION UNSTOPPABLE by Dan Gutman

2011-07-19T06:19:00.000-07:00

Click here to read an interview with author Dan Gutman

Hi-didilly-ho, Esteemed Reader. I don’t know if you can tell, but I’ve been cleaning up around here, expecting your visit. I’ve spent the past few weeks backing up all of my old posts so that if a hacker ever cracks the amazing security of my Blogger page, the writer interviews and agent interviews and book reviews posted here will not be lost (surely too great a blow for a country already besieged by economic hardships), but rather preserved for future generations. While I’ve been at it, I’ve also been editing posts and fixing links and realizing just how often I repeat myself. Well, that’s the nature of writing similar posts every week I suppose—there are only so many ways to say a book is good and I have had the pleasure of reading some very good books. I’ve just read another one and in a moment I’m going to tell you about it.

But first things first, we have a contest winner to announce from last week’s Book of the Week post on Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to NOT Reading. And the winner is… drum roll, please… Erica and Christy. I’m not sure which of you actually commented, but your comment won the Eeney Miney Moe, so work it out amongst yourselves and email me with your address so I can send you your book.

Also, I promised last week to tell you what I thought of the eighth Harry Potter movie. Mrs. Ninja and I did indeed see it in Imax over the weekend. It’s a good time, but the book was better (of course it was). Mrs. Ninja cried, but I found it to be an odd experience. It’s a fine finale, to be sure, but I wish Warner Brothers hadn’t broken the story in half as it’s hard to get invested in a film that’s all ending with no beginning or even a brief summary of what happened prior to the first scene. My favorite part of the movie was the (minor spoiler) opening shot of Dobby the house elf’s grave assuring he will not be in the movie as he is surely the Jar Jar Binks of the Harry Potter universe:)

The thing I first noted about this week’s book, The Genius Files: Mission Unstoppable by Dan Gutman, is its dedication: To Liza Voges. For those who don't know, Lisa Voges is Dan Gutman's literary agent at Eden Street. I think it speaks volumes of the importance of having a literary agent that this book was dedicated to her. In fact, it was Liza Voges who wrote me and asked if I'd like to read her client's book. And did I ask her some questions, say about 7 of them? You know I did, Esteemed Reader, and I'll be posting her interview on Saturday, so be sure to come back for that, as well as on Thursday, when we'll have the man himself, Mr. Dan Gutman, right here at this very blog.

While I'm pointing out things about the beginning of the book, let me also share this opening quote with you:

“Do stupid stuff, and even stupider stuff will happen to you.”
--Nobody said this. But somebody should have.

I don't actually have a point to make about this quote, it just cracked me up and I wanted to share it with you. I also want to share with you the first page as it's just a bang-up opening and you know how much I love great openings that hook the reader from the start. Especially when they are followed up with an exciting and engaging novel that is very funny. Read the next paragraph and just try not to get hooked (Go ahead. I'll wait):

There were ten items on Coke McDonald’s to-do list on June 17, but JUMP OFF A CLIFF was not one of them.
CLEAN OUT MY LOCKER was on the list.
PICK UP MY YEARBOOk was on the list.
GET BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR PEP was on the list.
PACK FOR SUMMER VACATION was on the list.
But nothing about jumping off a cliff.
And yet, oddly enough, jumping off a cliff was the one thing that Coke McDonald was actually going To Do on June 17.
Not only was he going to jump off a cliff, but first he was going to push his twin sister, Pepsi.
Now, before we get to the cliff-jumping part of the story, maybe I’d better explain something. Why would anyone in their right mind name their children Coke and Pepsi?

How sweet an opening is that? Obviously, starting a story with your characters about to jump off a cliff is exciting stuff. The only way to make it more exciting is to put a river of alligators beneath the cliff and/or bamboo spikes:) What’s interesting here is that Gutman isn’t actually showing us his characters jumping off a cliff just yet. He will, of course, as not to would be like offering us a bowl of candy and then withdrawing it when we reached for some. But what directly follows the passage you just read is five pages of exposition. Coke and Pepsi don’t actually jump off the cliff until the last page of the second chapter.

Now don’t get me wrong. The exposition is well written and funny and combined with the opening lines, it sets the tone for the very humorous, tongue-and-cheek story that we’re about to read. One passage is so entertaining, I’m going to share it with you in a moment. And characters’ being named Coke and Pepsi McDonald does require a little explanation. But exposition is exposition and the promise of a cliff jump is the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down. The pages fly by as the reader rushes to get to the bit about the cliff. Although, as I’ve said, these pages are by no means something the reader wouldn’t enjoy without the hook, they’re certainly made better for it.

And to be fair, the first eleven pages of chapter two are catching us up on what’s happened to force the McDonald twins to jump off a cliff. Their jumping off a cliff means nothing to us until we know just a little bit about them to care that they might die and the bare minimum explanation as to why they would want to jump off a cliff. If these kids are just a couple of reckless cliff jumpers, who cares. But if they are being chased by men who want to kill them and then by a woman carrying an exploding Frisbee who gives them wingsuits with which to glide off the cliff like squirrels, that’s a quite a different matter.

Chapter three has the twins gliding through the air and fortunately I recently viewed Transformers 3 and so could picture this quite clearly in my mind (there are wingsuits as well as robots in Michael Bay’s cinematic triumph, worth noting for any Academy members reading this). Actually, for better or for worse, I’m betting a fair amount of readers will be thinking of Transformers 3, which is simply a matter of serendipitous release dates. But even if readers aren’t thinking of the silver screen, Gutman has written a high octane opening that gives the reader enough of what they want that they’ll be satisfied for a few more chapters of plot and character until a school is burned down.

And by now, Esteemed Reader, you know just what sort of book you’re getting into. Someone is trying to kill Coke and Pepsi McDonald because, wait for it, they scored extremely well on standardized tests and have therefore been selected for a top secret government program known as The Genius Files. After witnessing the destruction of the pentagon on September 11, 2001, Dr. Herman Warsaw has decided that the only answer to the world’s problems is to enlist the genius children across the United States and to send them on top secret missions that not even their parents can know about. But could the inventor of such a crazy scheme be, in fact, crazy himself? Dum, dum, dum! But I’ve said too much.

What alarmed me just a little was that there is a lengthy description of the events of September 11th, 2001, in Chapter 5, even going so far as to counter the popular conspiracy theory that a plane did not actually crash into the pentagon. Doesn’t everyone already know all that stuff? I don’t want to spend much time on this subject as it’s just a detail of the overarching plot, but it occurred to me that it’s coming up on ten years and therefore there are children who will be reading this book who won’t remember that day, but who may have seen YouTube conspiracy videos and who will need these details spelled out for them. There’s nothing profound here beyond the Ninja’s realization that he’s getting older, time is passing, and a new generation is scheming to rise up and replace him one day. Still, it’s a testament to Gutman’s knowing his reader that he accepts they may need to be caught up to follow the story.

Okay, back on track. The Genius Files: Mission Unstoppable is a good start for what promises to be a fun and exciting series (there’s an excerpt from Book 2 at the end, but don’t read it before hand as it totally spoils Book 1). I’m looking forward to more adventures with Coke and Pepsi and I’ll bet you will too. It’s just a good set-up. What kid wouldn’t like to have a secret double life as a government operative? And Gutman is funny while he keeps the thrills coming, ensuring a good time lies ahead.

And now I have three points I want to make about craft and some lengthy passages to share and we’ll call it a review. My first point I’m going to let Gutman make for me:

Ordinarily in a story, this is where the author tells the readers what the main character—or, in this case, characters—look like. The author might on for page after page, painting a glorious word picture of Coke’s and Pep’s hair, their faces, the way they walk and talk, the way they dress, and so on.
But you know what? Who cares? Do you really care what Coke and Pep look like? Does it really matter to you. It’s boring. By the time you get to Chapter Three, you will have forgotten the description you read back in Chapter One, anyway. Coke and Pep are twelve-year-old twins, about to turn thirteen in a week. Okay? Nuff said. That’s all you need to know right now.
You really want to know what they look like? Look at the cover of this book. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let’s move on to the good part—the part where Coke and Pep go over the cliff.

What he said. I don’t really have anything to add.

The second thing I want to draw your attention to is that The Genius Files is a series being written for today’s kids. It’s anyone’s guess as to which books will end up being new classics and which won’t and much of it is beyond the author’s control. After all, Bridge to Terabithia is very much a story of its time and yet it remains popular today. Too many writers avoid specifically nailing their book to the time in which it is written in hopes of giving the novel longevity. Even the Ninja was advised to cut President Obama from his hopefully soon-to-be-published manuscript for this very reason.

But adult writers don’t do this. Under the Dome by Stephen King (reading it again because it ruled) makes use of Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper, whom readers twenty or thirty years from now might not know, and James Patterson opens many of his Alex Cross novels with a review of movies or books that just came out (somebody get Patterson a blog). The Genius Files never states a date, but Gutman does provide links to webpage’s for readers to verify information. How long those links will be good is anyone’s guess. But in the meantime, it’s an innovative way to further involve young readers and to make a book a part of their overall interactive media experience.

The McDonalds are on a trip across America and Gutman explains to young readers how they can go online to Google Maps and chart their journey. It’s a good idea and a way to create an interactive, multimedia experience without investing in a website or other online campaign. The Genius Files may go on to become a classic, it may not. There’s no way to know. For all we know, Harry Potter may yet fizzle out and future readers will have never heard of him. They may not, and this is truly frightening, even know who Batman is (I could never live in such a world). After all, it’s a comic book, not The Odyssey (Superman, on the other hand…). Although, for the record, Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns is an American epic I hope will linger after our empire has collapsed.

Gutman isn’t particularly worried what readers one hundred years from now will think about The Genius Files. He wants to hook today’s readers and he’s written a book for them. Should a classics edition be released in one hundred years with updated links, gravy, and there’s nothing preventing future generations from doing it. But Gutman isn’t sacrificing today’s readership in the hopes of being discovered after his death, which seems to be the strange strategy of a number of writers.

My third and final point is that Gutman slips in a bit of editorial now and again, but he does it without interrupting the story. No one wants to read a writer’s manifesto. We don’t really care what the writer’s political beliefs may be. We just want a good story. Writers who include entire chapters of idealogical diatribes will likely lose readers (we’re looking for fiction, not Bill Maher’s New Rules). But a writer who gives us a good story well told can get away with slipping a few quick shots in now and again, so long as he does so sparingly and without halting the narrative.

For example, the twins themselves are named Coke and Pepsi McDonald in “an ironic statement about how corporations control people’s lives.” After all, they have to be named something, and Gutman knows as well as you and I do that sooner or later we are going to have to fight back against big business to avoid being shills and slaves, so why not fan the flames of revolution just a little? Heck, as a writer of a great adventure, you’ve got the attention of young readers, which is what you wanted in the first place, so why not tell them a little of what you want to say? So long as you keep it in the story and pick your moments, that’s a writer’s privilege.

And having Pep respond in conversation with her father: “But wasn’t Manifest Destiny just an excuse to steal the land and kill the Indians who were living in North America long before we did?” asked Pep. “Wasn’t it almost like genocide?” doesn’t alter the tone of the story, nor does it interrupt it. There’s a line and the closer you come to crossing it, the more readers you risk alienating. Still, Gutman delivers on an exciting adventure and therefore earns a few asides. And why not provoke the thoughts of young readers with an alternate version of Manifest Destiny than the official story they may have read so long as you’re quick about it? Isn’t provoking young minds the whole point?

And that’s where we’ll leave it. Come on back on Thursday to see Dan Gutman face the 7 Questions and again on Saturday when literary agent Liza Voges will be here to do the same. As always, I’ll leave you with some of my favorite excerpts from The Genius Files: Mission Unstoppable:

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Chances are you’ve never fallen off a cliff. If you had, you probably wouldn’t be reading this right now. Because you would be dead.
But have you ever jumped off a high diving board? Have you ever dropped into a steep water slide or a half pipe? Have you ever been on a really high roller coaster?
Well, forget it. Falling off a cliff is nothing like any of those experiences. You still have no idea what the McDonald twins were going through.

Coke had a theory to explain grown-ups, as he did for most things in life. In his view, babies are born with a specific number of brain cells, which waste away and die off as people get older. So by the time they reach thirty—and certainly by the time they reach forty—most of their brain cells are gone. This explains why grown-ups do and say the things they do.
To back up his theory, in third grade Coke did a school research project involving music. He made a list of the greatest composers in history, from Beethoven to the Beatles. Then he tracked when they wrote their best music.
Irving Berlin wrote his first hit song—“Alexander’s Ragtime Band”—when he was just twenty-three years old. The Beatles made Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, their most innovative album, when John Lennon was twenty-seven and Paul McCartney was twenty-five. Beethoven started going deaf at thirty-one. Mozart was composing minuets at age five and was dead at thirty-five.
Almost as a rule, composers created their finest work in their twenties. There was a severe drop after the age of thirty. This, to Coke, was proof that the human brain deteriorates by the time people become parents. Which explains why parents are so weird. They’re essentially operating with an empty skull filled with dead brain cells.

And if his family wanted him to drive hours out of his way to Minnesota to see another @#$%^** ball of twine, he decided, then, @#$%^**, he would drive them there. That's the kind of a man he was.
Please excuse the language. This is just what was going through Dr. McDonald's mind.

Click here for an interview with author Dan Gutman

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

7 Questions For: Literary Agent Eddie Schneider

2011-07-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with literary agents

Eddie Schneider is the VP of JABberwocky Literary Agency, which he joined in 2008. He is actively building his client list (see “What I’m Looking For,” below).

Eddie Schneider is an Iowa graduate, where he studied fiction, poetry, and creative non-fiction (mentors include Yiyun Li and G.C. Waldrep). He is also a graduate of New York University, with an M.S. in Publishing, and started out in book publishing with a post at Folio Literary Management.

He has also been, at various points in his life, a magazine editor, computer salesman, short-order cook, archery instructor, freelance graphic designer, and ultramarathoner.

Eddie Schneider’s clients include Tobias Buckell, Adam-Troy Castro, Frederick Durban, Dene Low, E.C. Myers, Janci Patterson, Jon Sprunk, among others.

For more information about Ediie Schneider as well as other literary agents, I cannot overstate the benefeits of reading my friends Casey McCormick and Natalie Aguirre's incredible blog, Literary Rambles.

And now Eddie Schneider faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

I should limit this to middle grade/YA, so here goes:

Sherman Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian is a wonderful novel. He takes the whole "diary of an outcast" conceit that other novels have treated like a gimmick, and goes deeper than just the usual everykid growing pains. There's a real process of self-discovery to the novel, it takes on uncomfortable issues that most novels flat-out ignore, and despite all the seriousness I'm conveying here, it was fun to read.

Ursula K. Le Guin's Very Far Away from Anywhere Else is a short novel that is criminally underexposed. It's the book about growing up I most closely relate to, from one of my all-time favorite authors.

Paolo Bacigalupi's Ship Breaker was simply fantastic. It's a fast-paced, engaging novel, that proves itself to be thoroughly researched, with invented castes that pass an anthropological smell test. I also found it to do a brilliant job of engaging with the psychology of violence.

Question Two: What are your top three favorite movies and television shows?

Three recent favorites are Wall-E, Sugar, and somewhat surprisingly, The Princess and the Frog (it was so nice to see a Disney movie that wasn't just there to sell Happy Meals and straight-to-DVD sequels).

I could probably go on for pages and pages talking about favorite films; however, I don't watch much TV. NOVA and Futurama are pretty much it.

Question Three: What are the qualities of your ideal client?

My ideal client has a good work ethic, the deeply-felt desire to keep growing as an artist, and killer dessert recipes.

Question Four: What sort of project(s) would you most like to receive a query for?

I would most like to see more middle grade science fiction. The adventure inherent to the genre lends itself really, really well to MG, but I haven't been getting enough of that. While I do like dystopian fiction, I want to also see sf that does something besides rewrite "Lord of the Flies" with more technology and various forms of warmed-over fascist governments.

I'm also happy to look at realistic MG novels, as well as fantasy in its myriad forms.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about being an agent? What is your least favorite thing?

There are two. One is simply watching a client's manuscript evolve into its published form, through many iterations, revisions, and frustrations. The second is when translation sales start to roll in for a client. It feels really good to have publishers and readers all over the world recognize a story's quality and appeal, and want to read it, across cultures and despite differences.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

The main thing is to keep after it. But in doing so, work hard and smart. If you haven't, join a writing group with people who are serious about their writing and aren't there just to pat you on the back. If you get an agent, get a deal, get a book published, pay close attention to the contract, save your receipts, do the many little things that seem tedious but will help you down the road. Ask questions if there's something you don't understand, try to catch yourself if you're making assumptions (they can be false), and do new things.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Benjamin Franklin. I don't want to say anybody living, because there's always the possibility, however remote, of meeting that person, of their knowing you're a fan of them (which is different than saying you really admired the product of their artistic imagination), and that creating weirdness that can't be overcome. Plus, Benjamin Franklin would be completely awesome to meet.

Click here for more interviews with literary agents

http://www.awfulagent.com/

7 Questions For: Tommy Greenwald

2011-07-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with writers.

There's still time to win a free copy of Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Reading! All you have to do is comment on this post.

Tommy Greenwald is the author of Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Reading. Click here to read my review.

Here is Tom Greenwald in his own words:

Who would like to read about the details of my childhood and how I always wanted to be a writer and how after all these years it’s so awesome that my dream has finally come true, and therefore I ROCK!

Didn’t think so.

Here’s all you need to know, really.

My wife is named Cathy, and she doesn’t want her picture on the website because even though she’s gorgeous (seriously), she always thinks she looks horrible in pictures.

My three kids are named Charlie, Joe and Jack. (Charlie Joe Jackson, get it?)

My two dogs are named Moose and Coco, just like in the book. They’re both rescued chocolate labs, and they are ridiculously awesome.

My job when I’m not writing books is executive creative director at Spotco. We make ads for broadway shows. If you want to know more, check out our website: http://www.spotnyc.com/

This other thing I wrote is a musical called john and jen. It was done in NYC in 1995 and still gets done around the country and in Europe and stuff. If you want to know more, google it or go to mtishows.com; if you want to buy the CD – and really, who doesn’t? – go to amazon.com

And now Tom Greenwald faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

I'm just starting to read kidlit so I'm going to have to go with adult books, hope that's okay! Catch 22, by Joseph Heller; Letting Go, by Philip Roth; The Magus by John Fowles. Fave kid book so far: Emma Jean Lazarus Fell Out of a Tree, by Lauren Tarshis

Question Two: How much time do you spend each week writing? Reading?

I used to read a lot until I started this whole writing thing. I write on the train going to and from work, so usually about 5-7 hours a week, then some touch-ups on the weekend at the library. I can't write at home. Home is for television.

Question Three: What was the path that led you to publication?

My three boys - Charlie, Joe and Jack - all hated to read growing up. It was a helpless feeling trying to get them to read. I decided to write a book especially for kids who don't like books. Thus, Charlie Joe Jackson was born.

Question Four: Do you believe writers are born, taught or both? Which was true for you?

I think it's a combination. An ear for dialogue and authenticiy is something that i think is more innate than learned. But everything else - structure, plot, pacing, character development - is worth learning about. And by learning, I mean everything from taking classes to reading a lot of books and writing a bunch and simply talking to people. I've never taken a writing class, but have soaked up a lot of knowledge in other ways.

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about writing? What is your least favorite thing?

My favorite thing about writing is finishing. My least favorite thing is starting. At heart, I'm a reluctant writer. Which is maybe why I write for reluctant readers.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

I'm a firm believer in word count. Word count is your friend. Word count can keep you going. Word count can help you set goals, and achieve them. And don't be afraid that keeping an eye on word count will ruin your artistic vision. For me, it helped my pacing and my discipline.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Woody Allen. I'd like to know how he's had the energy and desire to make one movie a year for 45 years. And I'd like to know how he comes up with the names for his characters. (My fave: Fielding Mellish)

Click here for more interviews with writers.

tommygreenwald.com

Book of the Week: CHARLIE JOE JACKSON'S GUIDE TO NOT READING by Tommy Greenwald

2011-07-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

Click here to read an interview with author Tommy Greenwald

Esteemed Reader? Is it really you? We’ve been apart for far too long. Dry those eyes, Esteemed Reader, we are united once again! I’m so happy to see you I think I’ll give you a book. Why not this week’s book? Would you like that? You would!

Very well. All you need to do is comment on this post and include the phrase “I’m not going to read any other books ever again!” in the comments section (I'll know your fingers are crossed) for a chance to win a copy of Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Not Reading by Tommy Greenwald. And come back on Thursday to read a 7 Question Writer Interview with Tommy Greenwald himself, then come again on Saturday when we’ll have Eddie Schneider of JABberwocky here to face the 7 Questions for Literary Agents. You don’t actually have to come back those days to win the book, but you should, because it’s going to be awesome. Comment entries will be accepted on this post until Monday, July 18th, when the winning comment will be chosen by Eeney Miney Moe from a random starting point. The winner will be announced in next week’s Book of the Week post.

Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Not Reading is well worth winning and I’ll tell you why in a moment, but first we have some catching up to do. As you may recall, last week was to be my glorious return to blogging, but the Kents had a major emergency and our number nearly dropped. Things were utterly terrifying for a moment, but I’m happy (and extremely relieved) to report that both of my parents are back home and making a full recovery. I so appreciate all of your kind emails and comments, Esteemed Reader.

But I don’t want to talk about that (I mostly want to forget it), so let’s talk about Transformers 3. It must be summer because there are fireworks and BBQ’s and the movies are big, dumb, and loud. I love summer movies and every year I look forward to them. So far, Super 8 is my favorite, but I recently saw Larry Crowne, which stars Academy Award winners Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts and 3 time Emmy award winning star of my most favorite television show, Bryan Cranston (come on Sunday, the Ninja needs his Breaking Bad). It was a romantic dramady that attempted to illuminate the burden of the common man (played by a multi-millionaire, naturally) that I found condescending. The plot fell short, the characterization was poor, and in the end I was quite disappointed.

On the other hand, I also saw Transformers 3 in beautiful eye-poking 3D. The plot fell short, the characterization was poor, and I loved every minute. God bless you Michael Bay and your important work! The lesson I’m taking away is if you shoot for weighty import and miss, your audience is left with nothing. If you give the audience what they want first and foremost (sweet giant robots kicking the crap out of each other), they might forgive your shortcomings. And really, anyone who saw Transformers 1 and 2 has no right to expect more than what they’re going to get from Transformers 3. Although I did find the way Optimus Prime resolved his issues in the final act to be spectacularly inappropriate in a film aimed at younger viewers.

It’s perhaps unfortunate that our first Book of the Week after my sabbatical is Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Not Reading. So thoroughly had Charlie Joe convinced me to give up reading there were almost no future reviews. But in the end, I enjoyed Tommy Greenwald’s book so much I guess I’ll keep searching for another book that makes me laugh as hard. It’s just a fun book and if for some reason your comment isn’t selected in our contest, you should buy a copy anyway:)

And if you’re a writer, not a just reader, and I know most of you Esteemed Reader’s are, you should definitely buy a copy of Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Not Reading. Most adults might say “here, at last, is a book for reluctant readers to encourage them.” That’s all well and good for parents and teachers, but you and I, Esteemed Reader, are looking to expand our market and exploit every possible reader. Charlie Joe Jackson will arm you with an understanding as to why some children so passionately dislike reading and his tips will help you to improve your own manuscripts as to snag even the most the reluctant reader (and trick them into buying the sequel, mwuhahaha).

This is how Charlie Joe Jackson greets us on page one:

If you’re reading this book, you don’t like reading.
In fact, you do whatever you can to avoid reading, and the fact that you’re holding a book in your hand right now is kind of shocking.

From here, Charlie Joe goes on to warn us of the many dangers of reading, such as it makes us fat. In a way, this book is split into two books. One book is a conversation between us and Charlie about why reading sucks and what authors might do to improve it (that’s the part you and I care most about, Esteemed Reader). The second book is the actual story, which is also fun.

Charlie’s a likeable enough guy, though he narrates his story with impeccable skill, which is odd considering how much he hates to read:) He’s a middle school boy in Eastport, who loves beetles, chocolate, and dogs. He’s innovative in a Ferris Bueller kind of way (always likeable), he’s considerate of other people (especially, shock, his big sister), and he’s popular. It’s been a long time since I read a book about a middle school protagonist who doesn’t feel alienated from the rest of the population. Charlie’s well liked and the “hottest” girl in his grade has a crush on him. It’s refreshing to sometimes get to read from the perspective of the sort of character who’s usually a jerk and/or villain in so many other books.

Greenwald takes great advantage of the fact that his protagonist is a first person narrator and this is one book I cannot imagine written any other way. Charlie Joe is written quite well in his scenes with other characters. His dialogue is natural enough and his actions appear to be genuinely motivated. But its in the asides and the chapters between the story when Charlie talks directly to the reader that Charlie’s true self shines through. For example:

The librarian, Ms. Reedy, was an old friend of mine, even though she represented everything evil.

And later:

I actually made up a song for her a couple of years ago when I first saw her in action. “Hurricane Eliza comin’ in, the hottest hurricane in town, you’ll get blown away when Hurricane Eliza’s comin’ down.” The tune I came up with is pretty catchy, but you can’t hear it, because this is a book—another problem with books by the way.

Charlie Joe’s quest is to avoid reading at all costs. His conflict is that he is required to research multiple books for a major report and presentation at school, which pretty well determines his grade. Charlie Joe wants to do well in school, but he wants to do it without reading. It’s a good set up and the story that follows is fun and very funny. Greenwald expertly navigates the politics of middle school and delivers a good story well told. You can’t ask for much more than that.

My favorite piece Charlie Joe Jackson’s advice to reading boys is: If you have to read, read about girls. It helps you understand them better. The opposite applies for the ladies, and for the LBGT community, you read whatever you want. At any rate, this idea of getting the inside track on the girls was one of my main motivators to read at Charlie Joe’s age and I think it will strike a nerve with reluctant readers. I’ve read Twilight and sat through at least one episode of True Blood trying to better understand Mrs. Ninja (my comprehension is a work in constant progress).

The last point I want to make about Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Not Reading is not really a point or a criticism (I don’t do those), but more an observation. In the Advanced Reader Copy I read, this sentence was included: I’m proud of my perfect record. All the kids knew about it, and were pretty d**n impressed. In the actual published version that I’m going to give to one of you lucky Esteemed Readers, the same sentence reads: All the kids knew about it, and were mighty impressed. I know this because the first version of the sentence stayed with me after I finished the book and I checked the new copy to see if the bad word made the final cut.

Why do I bring this up? It seems kind of a jerk move seeing as how Tommy Greenwald arranged for me to get two copies of his book and agreed to be here to face the 7 Questions. Am I really so offended by the d-word? Esteemed Reader, please. I’ve already told you my favorite TV show is about an angry chemistry teacher dealing meth and killing gangsters (I can’t wait, I can’t wait!).

As I said, I don’t have a point, just an observation. I like the first version of the sentence better. Mighty impressed is not the same as d**n impressed and frankly I’d be surprised if a boy of Charlie Joe’s age didn’t use a few naughty words now and again. So why the change?

Well, for one thing the final book has wonderful illustrations by J.P. Coovert sure to attract younger readers who are fans of The Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. Would the d-word cause parents and some librarians to pause before recommending the book to younger readers? It might, alas (stupid country being founded by puritans). Would it turn off some readers? In a perfect world, no, but in this one, probably.

This isn’t to say middle grade writers shouldn’t ever use profanity in their books. I’m headed off to see the final Harry Potter movie this weekend and I’ll be very disapointed if Mrs. Weasley doesn’t yell “Get away from her, you b***h!” But that scene has a great deal of impact and is the pay off for seven books of wizard mischief. Whereas, Charlie Joe Jackson’s aside is not pivotal. Inserting “mighty” does not drastically alter the tone of the book or hamper the story or even change the meaning of the scene. The impact of the change is extremely minimal. If it were my book and I had to choose between a fairly innocuous change like this and potentially alienating precious readers for a debut novel, I’d make that change in a minute. Risk versus reward, man. You may disagree, Esteemed Reader, but it is fun to debate.

And that’s going to do it. So good to be back with you, Esteemed Reader. I hope I’ll see you Tuesday when we’ll have Tommy Greenwald here and again on Saturday for Eddie Schneider. Next week I’ll have a new book and some new interviews for you as well as my opinion on the Harry Potter movie. Until then, I shall leave you with some more of my favorite passages from Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Not Reading:

I’ve been head over heels for Hannah Spivero since… what’s today, Saturday? Let’s see… Wednesday… Thursday… Friday…
About seven years.

Middle-school parties are all pretty much the same; cold pizza, soggy cookies, flat soda, deafening music, a couple of kids kissing, a ton of kids pretending not to look but actually staring at the kids kissing, and the little sister of the host constantly coming in and out, supposedly to see if the chips bowl needs refilling, but really just to check out what was going on and report back to the parents that nobody had overdosed on potato chips and was projectile vomiting on the couch.

The place erupted. Chaos. Pandemonium. Anarchy. Bedlam. (Thesaurus.com—check it out.)

Click here to read an interview with author Tommy Greenwald

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

Ninja Emergency

2011-07-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

Hello there, Esteemed Reader! So good to see you, especially just now. As you know, today was to be my glorious return to regular posting, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to put that off at least another week. It's too bad. I've got a whole host of great interviews lined up for you and some wonderful books to share, but they'll keep. They'll have to. My apologies to Tom Greenwald and to the other authors and agents who have been so gracious as to share their time with us. But I promise their interviews will be posted in the next week or so.

I hope your 4th of July was wonderful. Mine was not. I'm not going to share a lot of details, but I'm typing this in the waiting room of the ICU at an Indiana hospital where I've been camped out for the last 24+ hours. Both of my parents were injured yesterday and it's been touch and go. At the moment, it looks like we'll all be walking out of here, but we're not out of the woods yet. I'll be back with you soon, Esteemed Reader, and I'm looking forward to it. In the meantime, your thoughts and prayers are appreciated and I need to get back to my family.

A Pound of Flesh, No More, No Less: A Post About Editing

2011-06-22T06:15:00.000-07:00

Hey there, Esteemed Reader! Are you missing me? I am missing you. Not to worry, though. My sabbatical is only temporary. I shall return on July 5th with all new Book of the Week reviews as well as interviews with writers and literary agents. I’ve got some wonderful folks lined up and I can’t wait to share their interviews with you.

Until then, I’m afraid I need just a little more me time. I’m doing some heavy duty revisions on a novel I thought was revised (but then, I always think that, from the second draft on). I’m afraid I don’t have time to keep up with my posting until the final (please, God) draft is finished, but I wanted to drop in and say hello with a post about editing.

And I have been editing, Esteemed Reader. Oh, how I’ve been editing. I know that some of you may have worried I would lose my entire sabbatical to playing L.A. Noire on X-Box 360, and it’s true, I did lose some time. Not so very much though. The game was, I fear, something of a disappointment. A game in which the mystery will always be solved whether you the detective solve it or not isn’t a challenge nor is it particularly interesting (and why on earth can’t I kill the pedestrians—the ninja needs his senseless violence). But I continue to support X-Box breaks for writers everywhere. There’s only so much writing and reading a person can do before he needs a time out. Hemmingway drank. I murder pixels. And I hope that stark contrast won’t tempt some of you to drink in hopes of being a better writer:)

It’s a tough job, Esteemed Reader, being a writer—but most of you already know that. There’s a reason so many lawyers drink, and there’s a reason so many of us writers lose our marbles and engage in all manner of unwholesome, destructive behavior. It’s a rough ride sometimes from inception to the feverishly jotted first draft to the barely corrected second draft to the okay-I’ll-make-some-of-the-changes-you’ve-suggested-even-though-my-book-was-perfect-already third draft to the-no-one-understands-the-brilliance-of-this-novel-but-me forth draft to the will-you-please-just-publish-this-already fifth draft to the I-hate-this-stupid-unpublished-book sixth draft to the this-wasn’t-so-bad-after-all seventh draft to the oh-my-God-I-think-this-might-be-it eighth draft to the detached polish of a writer assured that he’s done everything he can to prepare his baby for the world and that’s it almost time to say goodbye.

But oh, Esteemed Reader, in some ways that’s the hardest part. We’ve been through so much, Beloved Manuscript. You’ve taught me so many things and in some ways I could go on editing you forever. There’s a comma out of place somewhere in your pages, I can feel it. Maybe we should do just one more polish for old time’s sake, what do you say? I’m not completely convinced about the description of the sky in chapter 8. No, I fixed that description already, but perhaps I should reconsider—oh who are we kidding, Beloved Manuscript? We both knew this day would come, I just didn’t think it would be so soon. But you have readers to reach (God willing) and I have other projects to write. Ouch, you say, and ouch, Beloved Manuscript says, and that John Williams music soars and Beloved Manuscript gets into the spaceship and the pod bay doors close around his glowing, beating heart.

But before that heartwarming moment, there’s a lot of work to be done. There’s the basic stuff: grammar, punctuation, syntax, etc. I recommend taking a college course on editing if you haven’t done it already (spend the six-hundred bucks, you cheapskate, it’s an investment in your career). True, you can buy a copy of The Elements of Style, but hopefully you’ve already done that. Some things are best taught by instruction and supervision. Ever work a job where there wasn’t someone there to train you your first few days? You want to be a professional writer? Get some professional training and experience.

I realize this advice might seem a little odd coming from me, given the alarming number of errors that have shown up in my posts over the run of this blog (please don’t let there be any in this post about editing). But we’re talking about your manuscript here, the book you want agents to represent and editors to publish and readers to buy, not the free blog you run to get to meet writers (if I ever make any money from this blog, perhaps I’ll invest in an editor). An unprofessional manuscript signals an unprofessional writer and kills your credibility. Would you expect to get a job if you showed up to the interview with your shirt un-tucked, your fly down, your face unshaven, and your hair looking like you just got out of bed? No? Then zip up your manuscript’s fly and comb its hair.

It’s true, a great candidate can still get a job if they are at least presentable but their fly is unfortunately down or there’s a coffee stain on their shirt. I can’t imagine the agent or editor saying “this manuscript is a majestic and breathtaking work I’m certain will sell a zillion copies, but there’s a period on page 47 when there should be a question mark, so I’ll have to put it in the incinerator.” But if there are too many errors in the first 46 pages, agents and editors are far less likely to get to page 47. In the same vein, I can’t imagine one of those folks saying “this manuscript is dry and monotonous and I turned the television on while I was reading it to at least enjoy a good story, but it is one-hundred percent error free, so fire up the presses.”

One last bit of advice on the basics and then we’ll move on to the tough stuff. I have at long last learned that I cannot be trusted to edit my own work. Oh, I catch the most glaring errors, but there are always a few that slip by me. I think I’ve made this particular point here before, but love is blind. I’m not ashamed that I love my writing. If I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t do it. I’m no literary master and I concede that the greatness of a Richard Adams is likely beyond my grasp, but I love my little stories, warts and all. Most writers do. That love is essential to the craft of creation and if I don’t get caught up in my stories, I can’t rightly expect readers to.

But that same love becomes an issue in the editing stage. I may be thrilled to no end by own brilliance, but that doesn’t mean Esteemed Reader is. The only way to know for sure is to ask Esteemed Reader. Get some critique partners. Get some objective readers. Get a couple of good editors (another benefit to seeking out professional editing training is that now you know where to find some) and buy them a few drinks or pay them and get their help before you seek out an overworked editor at a publishing house.

Error correction is something you will do through every revision of Beloved Manuscript, but it’s not the most difficult part of the process. The next step is rewriting descriptions and dialogue; flushing out scenes with too little description and scaling back scenes with too much. Read your writing aloud or better yet, let someone read it to you. This too, you will be doing until the final draft and you will write “the dragon had fierce eyes and fiery breath,” then later, “the fierce eyed dragon breathed fire,” then later, “fire curled about the dragon’s nostrils and its fierce yellow eyes gleamed,” and later still, “fire curled about the dragon’s nostrils. Its yellow eyes narrowed on the protagonist.” Finally, you’ll realize the scene with the dragon is out of place in your World War II memoire and cut the scene altogether.

There is reworking and restructuring to be done. There are sometimes new chapters to be added. More often, there are chapters to be cut. And then there are the darlings to be killed. And I’m not talking about the stuff you cut in the third draft—the dream sequence to nowhere and the scene where two animals observe your characters only to never be revisited again. I’m not talking about the stuff you cut in draft four that you miss, but understand had to go. No. I’m talking about your heart. I’m talking about cutting out slivers of your heart and banishing them to the shelf of previous drafts never to be read for the good of the book as a whole; an amputation to save the body.

And it seems like that stuff always clings to your manuscript to the last draft. Because we play bargaining games don’t we? All right, we say, I’ll cut this scene so I can keep this one, when we know they both have to go. One darling, we plea. I’ll kill all the others, just let me keep the one. Oh Esteemed Reader, how I wish it could be so. But highlight that darling, close your eyes, and hit the delete button. It still exists in the previous draft and you can go back and read it anytime you want. If any editor or agent ever asks you to put it back in, go right ahead, but we both know they won’t. It takes courage to kill that last darling, but kill it you must. And in time, perhaps years, I promise, you’ll read your manuscript and you won’t miss the darling.

Ninja, I hear you saying, how can I hope to one day be as ruthless as you and murder every darling like Anakin Skywalker wiping out the padawans? Actually, given that I routinely post five and six page reviews of books intended for children, perhaps I’m not the person to ask. But I’ll tell you what I do anyway and perhaps it will help.

I only just recently cut a scene where my protagonist wishes at a fountain. It was a beautifully described fountain and a way—however cliché—to show my protagonist’s nervousness at embarking on an adventure. The fountain even comes into play later in the story in a small way, but I raised my light saber high and showed both scenes the true power of the dark side (on a related note, I also recently watched Star Wars). Why did I do it? Did I not mention this fountain was beautifully described and that this scene came at a pivotal moment? Did I not mention that this scene was one of my most favorite scenes in the book and has survived every draft up to this moment? Did I not mention that this scene was a piece of my heart that is now incomplete?

I killed the scene because it had to die. I told it about how one day we would get our own place with rabbits and I put it down while its head was turned so an editor won’t have to do it. An editor ought not to kill my darling. It’s my darling, so I’ll do it. I killed it because when I consulted my outline and highlighted the weak points, it clearly showed me the truth of the scene’s weakness.

And that’s my advice to you, Esteemed Reader: Keep an outline. I don’t recommend outlining your story before you write it as outlining is not writing and the one book I wrote a full outline for ahead of time never got written. I’d already written a bang up outline and I knew for sure how the book ended, so there was no interest for me to write the story out in long form. I typically update my outline after I write a chapter and keep notes about where I’m planning to go and change them as necessary. My outline typically looks like this:

Chapter One: Destiny Shines a Light in the Sky

Bruce Wayne is chatting up Vickie Vale at a fundraiser at Wayne Manner. Just as Vickie convinces him to join her for a romantic evening, Bruce sees the bat signal shining in the sky. Bruce excuses himself from the party and sneaks into the batcave, where he becomes Batman. Alfred Pennyworth is furious and yells at Batman for abandoning their guests. Batman promises to make it up to him, and then drives away in his batmobile.

Chapter Two: Death Flips a Coin

Commissioner Gordan is waiting on the roof of the Gotham police station when Batman arrives. Gordan tells Batman that Two Face has broken out of Arkham Asylum, again, and…

I won’t go on with that, but you get the idea. Each chapter may be 5 or 10 pages long, but I only need a few sentenceson my outline describing the action. Having an outline like this and keeping it updated as you write is a great benefit when you write the first draft, because it provides you a road map of where you’ve been to get to the point in the story you’re writing now. My most recent manuscript is 315 pages long and the one before that was 867 pages. I can’t read it from the beginning every time I want to know something and even going back through it to find bits of story takes too long. But keeping a fairly detailed outline of fifteen or twenty pages allows me to view the book on the macro level.

So much of writing is done on the micro level as is the editing. For this reason, I continue to update my outline as I make my revisions. And yes, I resent taking the time to do it when no one will ever read the outline but me. Yet it’s an essential tool. Because now when I look at the outline above I know that I need to cut chapter one. I could spend forever rewriting it on the micro level, but looking at the outline above it’s clear to me that the story really starts in Chapter Two with Batman discovering the newest mystery. However much I may like Batman and Alfred fighting in chapter one, knowing that chapter three to chapter ten are about Batman fighting Twoface, it’s clear I need to get to the real story sooner.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: read Story by Robert McKee. Memorize it. And never mind that Marcus Sakey accused me of belonging to the cult of McKee. I have two copies and an audio version and I reread that book at least once a year. One of McKee’s main premises is that every scene in a story needs to change the value of the story from negative to positive, or vice versa. Therefore, when I have my outline in front of me I can evaluate the story scene by scene to see whether or not they impact the plot as a whole. If the scene doesn’t do this, there’s a good chance it’s a darling that needs to be killed. Or there's information in the scene that would perhaps be better off in a better scene. Or it's time to summarize to quickly get to the next scene. You get the idea.

So when I looked at my current manuscript’s outline and I saw that I had a scene where the protagonists discovers the possibility of adventure and sets off, and a scene where the protagonists ponders the adventure at a fountain, and a scene where the adventure actually starts, I knew I had to cut the scene where the character does some serious sitting and thinking because it does not change the story value. On the micro level I was a fan, but on the macro level it added nothing no matter how beautifully described the fountain. Goodbye, my darling.

I hope this post has been helpful and not just rambling:) Either way, I’ll be back in July with some great new books and some wonderful interviews. We might even hold a contest or two. Until then, Esteemed Reader, I am yearning for you and cannot wait until we are reunited.

7 Questions For: Literary Agent Holly Root

2011-05-21T06:31:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with literary agents

Holly Root began her publishing career as an editor in her hometown of Nashville, TN. Prior to joining the Waxman Literary Agency in 2007, she worked at the William Morris Agency and Trident Media Group. At Waxman Agency she has represented bestselling authors of fiction and nonfiction as well as expanding the agency's reach into books for young readers. She represents authors of middle grade and young adult fiction, women’s fiction, and romance, as well as select nonfiction.

From her bio at the Waxman Literary Agency website:

"I’m drawn to well-told commercial novels in a variety of genres. I’m much more likely to keep reading if I know from that perfectly-executed first page that this character (or author, in the case of nonfiction) is someone who interests me, someone whose story I’d like to get lost in for the next two hours. I know I’ve found a winner when I encounter writers whose skills on the page make me know beyond any doubt that I’m in excellent hands.

I’m currently seeking middle grade and young adult fiction, women’s fiction (both commercial and upmarket), urban fantasy and romance. I also represent select nonfiction projects.

I do not represent poetry, screenplays, picture books, thrillers, or erotica."

As always, for more information about Holly Root or other literary agents, check out Literary Rambles, an amazing blog run by my friends Casey McCormick and Natalie Aguirre.

Click here to follow Holly Root on Twitter.

And now Holly Root faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

I'll limit it to kidlit, and even that is going to be horrible to pick...so I will cheat by picking my favorite fictional families. I'll go with Madeleine l'Engle's Murrays, the Ingalls fam from LITTLE HOUSE books (as a brunette, curly-headed child I reveled in Laura's disdain for her tidy, flaxen-haired sister), and just to shake it up a bit, Nathaniel and Bartimaeus from Jonathan Stroud's Bartimaeus trilogy. They'd be horrified to be called "family," but come on--they so totally are. And because no discussion of wonderful fictional families is complete without 'em--we've got to give an honorable mention to the Weasleys.

Question Two: What are your top three favorite movies and television shows?

Movies: Well, I find that the Kurosawa ouevre--Wait, are we in a no-judgement zone here? We better be, because I can see that outfit, yeah you over there, so here's the truth: The Muppets Take Manhattan, Jurassic Park, and You've Got Mail.

TV: Buffy, Veronica Mars, How I Met Your Mother (Oh! And Modern Family! and Lost!)

Question Three: What are the qualities of your ideal client?

I want to represent amazing writers who understand that publishing successfully requires managing interwoven threads of personal, creative, and business. I want them to want to do good work and the right thing. No matter how complex or difficult a situation, I'm a huge believer that you will never regret treating others with care and honesty, and I expect the same from people I work with.

Question Four: What sort of project(s) would you most like to receive a query for?

I love being genuinely surprised (I should clarify this is "surprised," not "baffled"). What does that look like? A fresh spin on a genre I thought I was completely tired of, the execution that reminds me I actually LOVE [whatever genre I forgot that I love], the concept I can't get out of my head, the character who is flawed and frustrating and yet totally, completely lovable for those vulnerabilities. I'm really a fan of lots of kinds of books; it's so much about voice for me that I've fallen for all manner of things against my better sense and only after I've sold it had to be like, "Um. Right. I guess I do [chick lit/steampunk/witch/Amish/high fantasy/etc] now."

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about being an agent? What is your least favorite thing?

Oh man, there are so many things I love. I love when I've matched an author with an editor and house that are just perfectly suited for the author's work. Love telling someone their book's being acquired. Love seeing those finished copies, hearing a client yell "my editor is brilliant!" as they make a breakthrough, hearing about translation rights sales. Reading Book 3 in the series 18 months before it publishes. Working through a sticky business issue with an author and leaving them reassured they're not in it alone.

My least favorite things? Chasing down royalty statements or tax forms. (So. Much. Paper.) Query and submission guilt (Do it yourself and be slow--guilt. Be fast by giving it over to interns or assistant--guilt. There is no winning here). When a book doesn't find its audience after publication for one reason or another.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

Don't be in such a hurry to "level up"--get agented, get sold, whatever--that you miss this moment, right now. Nothing is wasted. The ms that didn't sell teaches you something as a writer, the query that agent didn't request could be the thing that makes your name familiar-in-a-good-way for the one they do. The trend wave you missed leaves you free to start the next one.

There are no shortcuts, and even if you took one, you might arrive unprepared for the shot at success and longevity you were longing for all that time. Everyone's experience is different, so focus on making the most of your own.

Your self-worth cannot be determined by your advance, your print run, or your sales. There is no number big enough to carry that weight.

If in doubt, don't post it on the Internet.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

I'm aware this is the equivalent of swimming Scrooge McDuck style in writers, but I would throw a party at which Beverly Cleary, Paula Danziger, and Madeleine l'Engle all hang out together over scones and fancy, fancy teas.

Click here for more interviews with literary agents

www.waxmanagency.com

7 Questions For: Barbara Dee

2011-05-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

Click here for more interviews with writers

Barbara Dee is the author of the tween novels Just Another Day in my Insanely Real Life, Solving Zoe (2010 Bank Street Best Children's Books of the Year), This Is Me From Now On, and Trauma Queen. Click here to read my review of Trauma Queen. She lives with her family in Westchester County, New York. You can visit her on the web at http://www.barbaradeebooks.com/.

And now Barbara Dee faces the 7 Questions:

Question One: What are your top three favorite books?

Gah. I hate this question! I love so many books—it’s impossible to limit myself to just three! But okay, if you insist: The Catcher in the Rye, Pride and Prejudice, and The Great Gatsby.

Question Two: How much time do you spend each week writing? Reading?

Reading? Another toughie. The truth is, it varies a lot, depending mostly on how many events I’m doing. I’m not the kind of author who can do a school visit, then plop down in front of my computer and write a chapter. When I have a relatively calm week, I’ll write for four or five hours a day, and read for an hour or two. The rest of the time I’m doing author-related stuff, like answering reader emails.

Question Three: What was the path that led you to publication?

I was an English teacher, a lawyer, then a stay-at-home mom of three kids. But I always knew I wanted to write, so when the youngest started full-day kindergarten, I decided to give it a shot!

Question Four: Do you believe writers are born, taught or both? Which was true for you?

Well, I think it’s probably different for everyone, but I wrote my first “book” at age five—you can see it on my website, www.BarbaraDeeBooks.com, and also on VYou.com/barbaradee. (It’s about a naughty boy who had a robot who ate Spanish rice. I think it’s cute—my kids think it’s hilarious!) I took a poetry writing class in college, but that’s the extent of my creative writing education. Most of what I know about writing I’ve learned by reading!

Question Five: What is your favorite thing about writing? What is your least favorite thing?

The best thing about writing—other than the fact that you’re spending your day in front of your computer, dreaming up characters and playing with words—is that you ‘re connecting with kids. Nothing is better than getting an email from a reader that says, Your book is exactly how I feel—the main character is just like me! Tweens can’t always articulate their emotions, but they’re going through major changes, and it’s so moving to me when I hear that something I’ve written makes them realize they aren’t alone. I also love it when I hear I’ve made them laugh!!

My least favorite thing? How long the whole process takes.

Question Six: What one bit of wisdom would you impart to an aspiring writer? (feel free to include as many other bits of wisdom as you like)

Get used to reading your work aloud. I know it sounds weird, but your ear will pick up things that your eye won’t. I think this is especially important to do when you’re writing dialogue.

Question Seven: If you could have lunch with any writer, living or dead, who would it be? Why?

Hmm. I’d like to say Jane Austen, because I’m sure she’d be funny and charming. But I bet she’d have scary-perfect table manners. So I’ll say Charles Dickens, because there wouldn’t be any awkward silences, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t care if I used the wrong fork.

Click here for more interviews with writers

www.barbaradeebooks.com

Book of the Week: TRAUMA QUEEN by Barbara Dee

2011-05-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

Click here to read an interview with author Barbara Dee

Hello there, Esteemed Reader! Sorry to have missed you last week, but it’s good to be back. Things have been hectic. Very much so. In fact, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take a wee sabbatical. Is it because L.A. Noire released today for the X-box 360? Ahh, Esteemed Reader, how well you know me. I love video games and I look forward to Rockstar Games’ big May release every year even more than I look forward to the big summer movies (Thor was swell, though). After all, Red Dead Redemption was a greater experience than anything I saw on the silver screen last year including Colin Firth stuttering.

I’m not just going to be solving crimes in L.A. circa 1947. I’ve also got quite a bit of writing to do. Revisions have been requested of me and I need to clear my schedule and focus until they are finished. I’m anticipating all of this work will take me at least a month and so today’s post will be my last Book of the Week post until July. I’m not sure if I’ll really be able to stay away for all of that time, but that’s my plan.

Fret not, Esteemed Reader! We are going out on a great week. Today we are discussing Trauma Queen and on Thursday we’ll have author Barbara Dee here to face the 7 Questions! But wait! There’s more! On Saturday after months of me asking and begging, literary agent Holly Root will be here and you can’t ask for much more than that! What a wonderful week to be a Ninja!

Before we get to the business of Trauma Queen, I have two more asides. First, the series finale of Smallville sucked. I stopped watching that show when Lex Luthor left as he was my favorite character. But after ten years of waiting around on a show in which everyone can fly except Superman, Clark taking one little flight and wearing the red cape for a grand total of about ten minutes was lame and a huge disappointment. Boo, Smallville! Boo!

Second, I was feeling majorly bummed out after a conference a week ago and after I posted about it, I received several kind emails from you Esteemed Readers. I appreciate every one of them and your emails are one of the reasons I keep this blog. It’s amazing to be part of an online community of writers, who are my favorite kind of people. I’m feeling cheered up and ready to get back to it, thanks mostly to you folks who remind me that although writing is a job we must do largely alone, we need never be lonely.

The other thing that cheered me up was Trauma Queen by Barbara Dee. That’s not just a hammy segue, I mean it. Reading such a well written novel that accomplished the seemingly simple but actually really, really difficult task of immersing me completely in the world of its story as completely as any Rockstar video game cheered me up. There are many reasons writers need to read and just because I won’t be reviewing them here, don’t think I won’t be putting down my X-box controller and reading at least a book a week during my sabbatical. It’s true that by reading the books of other authors, both good and bad, we writers sharpen our own skills. But it’s more than that. Reading feeds us, reminds us of why we spend so much time alone at the computer (aside from the fact that so many of us are socially awkward).

Trauma Queen is a great read and everything a reader wants a book to be. It’s fun, it’s funny, it’s got great characters who feel real, and a catchy little plot that pulls the reader right along to the end. It’s not perhaps as weighty as War and Peace, but who the heck wants to unwind at the end of a long day with War and Peace? Please don’t misunderstand me. I do not mean to imply that Trauma Queen is shallow. Only that it’s not self-important like too many other books whose titles I won’t mention. Barbara Dee is primarily interested in showing the reader a good time first, and working in a theme and sneaking in a message or two only once the reader’s basic needs have been met.

You regular Esteemed Readers know how much I love a great opening and the opening of Trauma Queen is nothing short of genuis:

I am standing outside homeroom in yellow flannel monkey pajamas.
Everyone else is dressed normally: jeans, track pants, sweaters, whatever.
Apparently because today, Monday, February 23, is not Pajama Day at Crampton Middle School. Also apparently I am the only one who is celebrating Pajama Day, because I am the only one whose mother told her it was Pajama Day. After using the New Student Information Packet to line a dog crate for this one-eared beagle she’s babysitting.

I’ve gone on at length about great openings in the past, so I’ll try to avoid that here. Still, note how Dee introduces conflict and character right off the bat, grabbing the reader at once. It’s true, no one’s been poisoned and must find the anecdote before the end of the story and it’s an opening that won’t hook everyone. Show this opening to an average twelve-year-old boy and there’s a good chance he’s going to set the book down and play L.A. Noire (I’m so excited), but a book called Trauma Queen is probably not going to be picked up by too many average twelve-year-old boys in the first place.

Barbara Dee knows her reader and from the start she grabs that reader and yanks her in. ‘I’ is seventh grader Marigold, whose name we learn in the next sentence. But her name is not important in the first few lines. What’s important is that she is an awkward adolescent in a social situation going poorly that we can all relate to. As much of the conflict in Trauma Queen derives from being an awkward adolescent, this is as good a place to start as any.

But the master stroke comes when Marigold reveals, most humorously, that it is her mother’s fault she is dressed in pajamas on a non-pajama day. Bam! Check and mate. By the fourth sentence Dee has introduced us to the main conflict of the novel, to the battle between embarrassing, thoughtless mother and know-it-all seventh grader that is to be the meat of our feast. Right away, the reader can decide whether stories about teenage daughters and their mothers is of interest or not and we know, not the whole story (the book is more than four sentences for a reason), but what we can expect from the book that follows. I’d be hard pressed to find another opening as good as this one.

It’s true that the conflict started here is very general and very broad, which is what makes it so universal, but the story is in the specific details that set this mother/daughter conflict novel apart from others. Otherwise, we could just pop in Freaky Friday and there would be no need to further explore this particular story territory. Here is the way in which Marigold’s mother is introduced:

When I get home that afternoon, Mom is in the living room. She’s in her yoga pants, upside down, surrounded by marbles.
For her this is normal.

Mom is an odd bird indeed. She’s a performance artist and if ever there is an occupation a teenager, boy or girl, would not want their mother to have its performance artist. Having a parent who is an artist, with all the flakey sensibilities that seem to go along with it (I look forward to one day humiliating my own children), is bad enough, but having a performance artist for a parent takes the cake. If Mom is a writer, she’s bound to be odd, but at least she does most of it in private. If Mom is an actress, at least there’s a script and a director behind her.

But if Mom is a performance artist, it’s just her. One of Mom’s acts consist of wearing a wet suit and pouring cooking oil all over herself, even drinking some of it. This is her impression of the United States guzzling oil and fair enough. It’s a clever gag and even thought provoking; if you’re simply a member of the audience. It’s quite a different matter if it’s your mother on stage doing this and all of your classmates are watching. Teenagers find their parents embarrassing enough without them covering themselves in oil in public.

And so it goes. Trauma Queen opens on pajama day in the present, but then flashes back to when Mom made an enemy of Marigold’s best friend’s mother by doing an “interpretation” of her on stage. Best friend Emma’s mother does not take it well and forbids Emma from associating with Marigold. Marigold’s mother is ruining her life! From here the conflict only escalates and you can practically hear an editor whispering “raise the stakes” when Mom becomes the new theater instructor at Marigold’s brand new school. Marigold’s life is over!

I see we are nearly out of review and I have more passages I want to share! How does this keep happening every week? The main craft point I want to make this week is in regard to Dee’s masterful characterization. There is not a flat or uninteresting character in Trauma Queen. Mom is every bit as interesting and compelling as Marigold. Dee shows us Marigold’s perspective, of course, and we will feel that Mom maybe needs to take it down a notch. But Dee also manages to show us Mom’s perspective. We respect her right as an artist and we understand her motivations for the wacky havoc she wreaks. Both Marigold and her mother are flawed and unique and worth reading about.

Further, Dee contrasts their family dynamic with some of the other mothers, most notably Emma’s mother. Emma’s mother is everything Marigold’s is not. She’s a responsible over achiever and pillar of the community and yet, she’s as tightly wound as an insane murderer in a Stephen King story. Here is my favorite description from the book that for me says it all about Emma’s mother:

At first Emma’s mom stood there in the kitchenette looking stunned. Everything about her was so straight and perfect—her shoulder-length blond hair, her white teeth, the tiny cables on her turquoise sweater—but she had this twitchy look on her face like, Okay, Trisha, don’t panic, you can handle this.

In her own neurotic way, Emma’s Mom is ruining Emma's life just as much as Marigold’s mother is ruining Marigold's, and more amusingly, Marigold’s grandmother is still attempting to ruin her mother’s life. The result is a tale that reminds us that human relationships are imperfect, but essential. Trauma Queen is a very funny, very well written tale that will provoke thought after delivering a enjoyable story. Two thumbs way up!

Don’t forget to come back on Thursday when Barbara Dee will be here and again on Saturday when Holly Root will be dropping by to see us. I will miss you during my time away, Esteemed Reader, but be assured it’s so that one day, just maybe, I can name my own book as the Book of the Week (and yes, I am that smug). Now I leave you with some more of my favorite passages from Trauma Queen:

Her olive-colored skin—the skin we all three have, Mom, Kennedy, and me—looked weirdly pale, as if I were looking at her through tracing paper.

I could feel my eyebrows getting sweaty. “It wasn’t a public meltdown, you guys. It’s just what my mom does.”
I suddenly realized how wrong that sounded. Like: My mom wasn’t just crazy on that one special occasion. She’s ALWAYS crazy. “She’s a performance artist,” I added quickly. “She was just doing one of her characters.”

“…Because you know, precious daughters, when it all comes down to it, life is really just one big improve act.”
That sounds like a line she’s practiced. Which is kind of ironic, actually.

Click here to read an interview with author Barbara Dee

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Book of the Week is simply the best book I happened to read in a given week. There are likely other books as good or better that I just didn’t happen to read that week. Also, all reviews here will be written to highlight a book’s positive qualities. It is my policy that if I don’t have something nice to say online, I won’t say anything at all (usually). I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

Contest Winner and the Indiana SCBWI Conference

2011-05-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

Greetings and salutations, Esteemed Reader. I am back from a weekend at the Indiana Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators conference. It was a fine event and one I recommend you attend if you get the chance. Really, if you’ve never attended a writer’s conference, you should find one and attend it. I know they’re expensive, but they’re worth the money, even if the conference leaves you feeling a bit bummed—which this one did, but more on that in a moment.

First things first, we have a contest winner to announce and a free book to give away. The winner of last week’s contest for a copy of The Rotten Adventures of Zachary Ruthless by Allan Woodrow, chosen by a blind drawing, is Ms. Yingling! Yea! Ms. Yingling come on down to claim your prize (or just email me—see my profile—and let me know where I should address the book to). As for everybody else, I’m sorry you didn’t win (me neither). But stay tuned because we’ll have more contests coming up in the future. Also, you should check out Ms. Yingling’s wonderful blog, http://www.msyinglingreads.blogspot.com/.

So, anyway, about this conference: I got to meet our old friend Mary Kole and thank her in person for being interviewed here. This was by far the high point of the conference for me. I’ve been reading Mary Kole’s amazing blog for a long time, so in a way it was like meeting a favorite writer as well as a highly regarded literary agent. She gave multiple presentations and each was highly informative, and on the second day, she joined a critique circle and I got to have her tear apart my current manuscript in person. I’m always grateful to have my writing torn apart, because like muscle, it grows back stronger, even if like working out to tear muscle, it hurts like hell. No pain, no gain, Esteemed Reader.

The faculty at the conference was all top notch and the lunch was excellent (chicken and roast beef!). I appreciate how hard various members of the SCBWI worked to put on a fine conference and I hope we can do it again next year. They asked that attendees not blog about the content of the presentations, so I won’t, except to say that I wish there were separate conferences for beginning writers and more advanced (or perhaps just older) writers.

I realize, of course, that this isn’t practical. Some writers resent the grandmas who show up who haven’t written anything yet, but they’re meaning to and one day they will. To think that such inexperienced, unserious writers should get the same amount of face time with Mary Kole as the rest of us hard-at-work folks! But remember, such writers, and even their friends who have no intention of writing a thing, but like to be included, help to disburse the cost of the conference. Writer’s conferences are expensive enough without clearing out the revenue of unserious writers.

And after all, serious film makers inspire amateurs on YouTube and serious musicians inspire garage bands. Seeing so many would-be writers cheers my heart that writing is as much a respected and beloved art form as any of the others. Still, because there are so many of these folks, most of the presentations seemed to be geared toward the basics of writing and publishing. Addressing a query letter to an agent by name rather than writing “Dear Agent” is a great tip for a beginner, but those of us who have been around the block a few times can recite the rules of writing query letters whilst blindfolded and juggling snapping alligators.

But that’s okay. The main advantage of a conference is the opportunity to network. It’s nice to chat with an agent or an editor who may want your work, but it’s also nice just to meet other writers and hear their stories. I was particularly thrilled to learn that a friend who I’ve chatted with at other conferences has a book coming out later this year (and did I secure a 7 Question Interview—you know I did). I also got to chat with several writers who have published and hear some very exciting success stories.

And yet I left the conference feeling bummed out. This rarely happens. I even left a conference in which a particularly nasty literary agent, who shall not be named, ever, laughed in my face in a relatively good mood. But the danger in networking with other writers is that you get to hear the good stories in publishing and the not so good stories. I don’t write sour grapes posts about the publishing industry. If you want to read such posts, there are plenty available elsewhere. I did my research before deciding to pursue publication and I knew going in it would not be easy—something worth doing rarely is.

I have ears, however, and just because I’m not going to repeat some of the stories I heard doesn’t mean I didn’t hear them. I heard tales of writers who were almost published and then not because of various arbitrary reasons that make you want to laugh and cry at the same time. I heard of a writer who published a couple of moderately successful books and then was dropped by their agent and now can’t find another agent or editor, leaving this writer to believe that their “writing career” was a cruel tease played by fate. I heard tales of dismal sales and fortunes lost promoting books no one read. And on, and on, and on.

I hear these stories rather often, unfortunately—it’s just the nature of associating with so many writers. But on this particular occasion, I was overwhelmed. Sure, it bums me out when I brag at work about snagging an interview with a major writer no one there has ever heard of (seriously, how can you not have heard of Richard Adams). If no one’s ever heard of these writers, how can I expect them ever to hear of me?

And the rules. The rules, the rules, the rules. Every writer I met had an explanation of the rules of publishing that contradicted rules I heard elsewhere. Never begin a story like this, never write this, stay away from this subject, this story will never be published because of blank. And on, and on, and on—until the one rule seems to be don’t write anything. Well, to this I say that if there were one set of rules to follow to be successfully published, everyone would follow them and we’d all live in a mansion next to J.K. Rowling. Phoey to the rules, I say. Breaking convention is what makes a writer stand out and so I listen to the rules only to know which ones to break next.

All the same, the Ninja is only human and I can only hear so much negativity before succumbing. After the first night of the conference I went out with Mrs. Ninja and some non-writer friends. We ate a good meal, drank beer and played pool. We talked of life and made jokes and had a good time and no one assured me that if I didn’t provide exactly the write opening of my novel I would never be published and would die penniless and alone.

And, well, I got to thinking “why am I still doing this?” And this on the heels of my most successful year as a writer yet. I’ve had a string of good news, most of which I can’t share yet, but be assured I have every reason to hold my head high and be optimistic. Still, for the first time in a long time I thought of quitting the writing life.

And why not? I have a good job I love and Mrs. Ninja, of course, and we have a brand new 3D television (it’s so awesome). Why am I still torturing myself every morning getting up while sensible people sleep to write things that even if published, no one is likely to read? Reading a middle grade novel every week surely takes away from time better spent with my Xbox (also now in 3D), and just imagine a week in which I got more than six hours sleep a night (dare I even dream it). Mrs. Ninja and I are preparing to start a family and so perhaps it’s time to put away childish things and focus on the practical nature of making money and spending time with those I love. It’s a good life, after all. Why not hang my Spider-man mask on the side of a dumpster and walk away?

Well, frankly, because I can’t. This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve tried to quit before and every time I think I’m out, they (my characters) pull me back in. I have to write. It’s what I do, it’s who I am, and there isn’t anything for it. Even if no one ever read me ever (a distinct possibility, conference goers have assured me), I would still do it. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to keep eating (sometimes ice cream, which is at odds with my trips to the gym, but sue me), I’m going to keep breathing, and by god, so long as I’m me, I’m going to keep writing.

The second day of the conference was better than the first, though I still heard plenty of sob stories. But the morning of the conference, I got up very early and started a new project. It was the best part of my day. This particular project has been haunting me for the better part of a year now. It won’t leave me alone. It’s about a boy and his mother and I keep seeing them everywhere I go. I wrote an outline once to shut them up, but that wasn’t good enough. God knows why, but they’ve chosen me to write their story and they won’t leave me alone until I do, so I’m doing it already.

I’ve rejected their story on numerous occasions. It’s not particularly marketable, it’s schmaltzy, and it doesn’t comply with any of “the rules” of getting published. I can’t imagine who will want this story and so I have stuck it on a shelf and busied myself with more commercial work. But I’m writing it now, knowing full well it’s not likely to bring any tangible benefit to me.

Except that the writing itself is a benefit. It makes me happy to write it and I don’t care that editors might not give it a second look. If editors knew everything, there would be no New York Times Bestseller List because every book published would be on it. In a way, I hope e-publishing continues to grow and that all books are eventually self-published. Let readers decide what they want to read. And above all, let’s stop listening to the rules. After all, my English professors in college routinely assured me that Stephen King was a terrible writer and that his success was a fluke of media invention. Tell that to his devoted fans all over the world who could care less that he isn’t following the established rules.

And Grandmas of the world who haven’t written anything yet, but are hoping to: Go for it. To write is a beautiful thing, and publication or lack thereof doesn’t change it. The act itself has meaning and is worth doing. “My grandchildren love my story” is a perfectly acceptable reason to write another.

I’ll see you next week, Esteemed Reader. Until then, I have an un-publishable manuscript to finish.