midlifemakeover

Bein' Green

2011-05-25T11:18:46-06:00

Helene Oseen

The Power of Words

2011-04-11T09:47:33-06:00

Helene Oseen

Elizabeth Taylor: 1932 - 2011

2011-03-23T18:05:38-06:00

Remembering Elizabeth Taylor for her great beauty, iconic persona, tireless humanitarian work and her compassion and optimism. Her screen life was often upstaged by her personal life, but she lived her life with spirit, sass and style.

When she turned 50 and her Hollywood career was winding down she looked back on her life and unapologetically said "I don't entirely approve of some of the things I have done, or am, or have been. But I'm me. God knows I'm me."

In one of her last major interviews Taylor said "I never planned to acquire a lot of jewels or a lot of husbands."

Life doesn't always turn out the way we planned. Thank you for reminding us to live ours with authenticity. RIP.

International Women's Day

2011-03-08T12:01:09-07:00

"Power can be taken, but not given. The process of the taking is empowerment in itself."
-Gloria Steinem

We don't need experts with Ph.D's and daytime television talk shows to tell us how to live our lives. Women have always learned from other women. We need to share our stories and experiences and believe in ourselves and each other. If we want to get to equality, it's women who will have to lead the way.

Our world is filled with inspiring women from all walks of life from every economic and ethnic background. These women have overcome seemingly impossible difficulties and have the vision to follow their passions and dreams into uncharted territory. Most important of all they have the strength and courage to say no to the things and people that do not serve them.

I am grateful to the generations of women that helped strengthen and empower us. Now, we must carry on their work and continue to liberate ourselves, own our power and have control over our own lives.

Today is the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day. Are we equal yet? Until the answer is that opportunity is not distributed in our chromosomes we can never stop forging forward. We must concentrate on creating the new woman liberated from stereotypes.

Someday soon we will no longer apologize for being a woman.

Me and Martha

2011-02-19T19:54:00-07:00

My grandaughter Zoe recently reminded me that she isn't two - she is almost three and that pretty soon she is going to have a birthday party and invite her friends from playschool.

My daughter was feeling some stress around the event because buying a fancy store-bought cake was out of the question. You see some of the children have allergies they struggle with and she wanted to be sure that they were not excluded from the food and festivities of the day. Typically in these situations the mom brings the 'special cupcake' that her child can eat without fearing anaphylactic shock.

Martha and I share the same birthday. I was up for the challenge and told my daughter I would make a cake for her and would find an inventive way to make the cake a special memory. Trouble is, I'm not particularly good at that sort of thing. I'm passionate about gardening, I can cook an awesome meal, but baking, well not so much.

In order to create an allergy-friendly confection I sourced out a recipe for Egg-Free Dairy-Free Nut-Free Chocolate Cake. I suspected that it might not be the most delicious cake ever, but I was sure that lots of brightly coloured icing could mask that.

The theme was Tinkerbell and I had as much fun as a kid making it. Definately the most tacky and most awesome cake I've ever made, it had a meadow, waterfall and pond made out of icing and fairy figurines I bought at the Disney Store. Clearly it was created with a lot of love, but not much talent.

The cake will never be featured in Martha Stewart Living, but it was admired and enjoyed by everyone at a three year olds birthday party and most especially by Zoe.

And, that's a good thing.

Fashion 911 Tip: Shop in Your Own Closet

2011-02-17T11:52:44-07:00

Most women have a burst-at-the-seams closet and still think they have nothing to wear even though at least half of their purchases are left to gather dust at the back of the closet. It's almost impossible to put together a cohesive wardrobe if you can't even see what is in there.

It's time to get ruthless and cull your clothes. If you are like many women you probably even have items with the price tag still on them and shoes you have not worn.

A closet clear-out is often easier said than done for several reasons. For some guilt gets the best of you about the money wasted on clothes that you are not wearing. Perhaps it's about clinging to your 'skinny' wardrobe despite the fact that those articles of clothing no longer fit. For others it's emotional hoarding.

So, before you head to the stores for more impulse buying, take a shopping trip through your own closet. You've probably forgotten what is in there. Take a look with a fresh eyes. You might be surprised to find that you do have something to wear.

Golden Seams

2011-01-29T13:10:22-07:00

We didn't get to be this age without facing a least a few crisis of every imaginable kind. You know, those lessons and challenges that life gifts us around finances, betrayal, divorce, sickness, raising a family, death of a loved one or job loss to name a few. Sometimes life just feels like a day-in, day-out endurance test. It's no wonder we often feel fatigued and confused, perhaps even fractured or broken.

In the late 15th century when shogun Ashigkaga Yoshimasa sent a prized and damaged tea bowl back to China to be fixed, it came back held together with ugly metal staples. This inspired the Japanese craftsmen to go on a quest for a new way to mend ceramics.

They developed a method called Kintsugi, where they would aggrandize that which was broken with a lacquer resin sprinkled with powdered gold. The Japanese believed that when something has suffered damage and has a history, once fixed it will look more gorgeous, and be more precious than before it was fractured.

Collectors developed such a love for Kintsugi that some were accused of deliberately breaking prized ceramics so that they could be mended and enhanced with this distinctive Japanese technique.

Whether life thrusts something difficult at us, or we choose to try something challenging and scary, we get stronger. We learn, grow and take away a revelation from each experience no matter the outcome. We are forever changed.

Are you becoming stronger and more beautiful as you fill in your seams with the gold of your life experiences?

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

2011-01-19T23:29:41-07:00

When you look in the mirror, do you feel beautiful? Confident? Powerful? Sexy?

Yeah, I know, that's a tough one. We all have our body bugaboos.

We are surrounded by uber-images of youthful beauty in a world of unrealistic beauty standards. With age comes wisdom, or at least a reality check and I'm learning that you'll never start feeling great about yourself and learn to love all the imperfections that make you, YOU until you stop comparing yourself to not only others but your younger self too.

In my twenty plus years as a fashion therapist I have come to know a lot about women from the other side of the dressing room door. It was no surprise to me that most women felt insecure about their body, but what did surprise me is that their negative body image often had little to do with their actual body. What they felt about their body was not what the outside world saw. No matter what size they wore there was always something about their body they didn't like. Countless women declared themselves too fat or too thin and obsessed about various body parts such as the size of their hips, their rounded stomach, the thickness of their ankles and the woes of other assorted wobbly bits. What they were really worried about is the fact that they didn't fit into the so-called societal norm which has no basis in reality.

It was easy for me to look at my clients objectively and help them put on clothes that enhanced and expressed them as beautiful, interesting and capable women. Why couldn't they see the person in the mirror that I did?

Yet, when I look in the mirror I am no different. I struggle with the same demons of negative self-talk and the advances of aging complicates things even more. When I look in the mirror I try and see myself with the same acceptance that I saw my clients with. I have good days and some not so good days. Deep down I know that those who love me, don't love me any less or any more depending on the numbers on the scale or the shape of my body.The only person that withholds love from me is ME.

Like most people, every year in January I evaluate my life. In reflection on the past year I am proud of what I have accomplished and excited about the direction my life is taking. My body still nags me. I know I can't completely fix it because frankly I'm not willing to put in the time and energy required to do that much work. That doesn't mean I'm giving up, I want to be healthy. I also know my level of being physical isn't going to beat my body into submission.

I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling inadequate. I don't need to wait until I lose some weight or tone up more before I buy new clothes, try new things and live my life for today.

I know that sometimes my insecurities hold me back so I think it's time to just accept my body as it is right now and be happy in my own skin. I'm ready to quit putting my life on hold.

Fashion 911 Tip: The Perfect Lipstick

2011-01-13T13:00:55-07:00

C'mon just how many lipsticks have you bought in search of that perfect shade?

Cosmetic companies may show the trend to dark colours in their collections however few of us can make them work anymore. There is nothing more aging than dark lipstick. Purge your lipstick collection of those reds, dark browns and deep plums that you once wore. They make your lips look thinner and dark colors have a way of magnifying lip lines when they bleed.

Think pink. It's the perfect lip color for all mature women, no matter what your skin tone. The right pink lightens up the mouth and gives your face a luminous glow which compensates for the loss of glow in our complexions.

Texture counts too. The most flattering is a creamy, velvety lipstick that will smooth over your lip easily. Don't be afraid to use a lip gloss to shine it up even a bit more. While long lasting formulas have improved over the years, generally they are still too drying. Matt and opaque lipstick have no light reflecting shine and give a woman with mature skin a deadly look.

The older you get the more important it is to switch to a glossy pink lipstick and a lip liner in a neutral, forgiving color that is only slightly darker than your lips. It's a fast and effortless way to look wonderful, not weary.

Get Your Style Groove Back

2011-01-08T14:21:17-07:00

Have you ever seen a mannequin display with a great looking outfit and thought to yourself "That's pretty, but I can't wear that, I'm too old for it." Or, flipped through the pages of a magazine and decided that the looks they are showing are not for you because they look too foreign to anything you currently have.Take a look at your closet. Are you stuck in a serious style rut? Do you have more and more of the same kind of clothes? Boring.

It's time to get more adventurous and get your style groove back. Contrary to popular belief, the biggest mistake mature women make isn't dressing too young, it's dressing too old. You have probably noticed other women your age who look great in the new trend? How are they wearing it? What are they wearing it with? Chances are they are wearing it with confidence because that's the biggest secret to style.

Updating your wardrobe can be like updating a room - sometimes once you start the renovation you realize you love the new look but now it makes the rest look dated and you need some other things to pull it all together.

Your initial instincts might be right - but they could just as easily be wrong and you won't know until you try it on. Don't evaluate the look based on one garment. Perhaps that same look by a different designer will fit you better, or has detailing that you like better. You might just end up saying "Yup, I can wear that."

If you do buy something that is out of your safety zone and you are still not sure how you feel about it, take it home and try it out. If you don't love it, don't keep it. Most stores have excellent return policies.

Have fun. Play dress-up. Don't be afraid to make mistakes - be afraid not to.