Midwesterner's Guide to Living in New York City

My Mizzou Football preview BANNED by the Mizzou Alumni Association

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 23:01:00 +0000

So. Here we are. A successful football program.

This is certainly not the Mizzou football we grew up watching. This is the new reality for the average Missouri fan, let alone the average Missouri fan that lives in New York City. The recent success of the Missouri athletic program has almost (almost!) alleviated the awkwardness associated with admitting to the average New York Ivy League graduate that, yes (!), we attended a Big XII school. Because, really, how's their football team doing?

OK, sure, we're not supposed to be as good as the last few seasons, but, hey, we still have respect from (if not from the sportswriters) the alumni of other Big XII schools! How do I know? I asked them. When I spoke to Christian Kane — who used to star on Angel and now stars on TNT's Leverage — a true blood Oklahoma Sooner, he said, "Well, s*** man. You guys have just come up. You had a bad time with it there for a while, but you guys are back, man. You guys have some really good stuff going on. It's getting to be embarrassing for us. Three National Championships we've dropped in the last, like, five years. It's just a nightmare." When I made it clear I wasn't shedding any tears for the OU program, considering they beat Mizzou in the last two Big XII Championship Games, Kane replied, "You guys really honestly deserved to be there a couple times. Anyway man, that's Big XII Football, baby!" Indeed.

Soon after, I spoke with Scott Porter. Scott knows his football; he starred as paraplegic former quarterback Jason Street on Friday Night Lights -- he also went to Nebraska. Now, again, I don't feel too bad for our recent success against Nebraska when you remember the, what, 40 years of dominance Nebraska had. "Yeah," says Porter, "we had a nice 39-year run." He laughs. "You guys would score one touchdown, the goal posts would come down." He claims he's joking; we all know there's, unfortunately, some truth in that (and the truth hurts). Of course, he ended our conversation asking me my opinion on the infamous Nebraska-Missouri "kick" from 1997. Perhaps this was a bad idea.

Again, this is supposed to be a rebuilding year. So what. It's so nice to have the "re" in front of the word "building." That means we actually had something built! And we did! As opposed to just, you know, "building." Because I've seen "building," and "building" can take an awfully long time. Yeah, the chances are we won't be quite as good as we were the last two seasons. But, in reality, the foundation is there and.. who knows? Did anyone think in 2007 we would be the number one team in the country going into our last game? Mizzou was one game away from playing for the national title! If that didn't put the fear of end times into people...

If nothing else it brings us together. Not to get too sentimental, but, yeah, it's nice to live over 1000 miles from where we went to school and still be able to celebrate a Mizzou win as if we were at Harpo's. Of course, at Harpo's you wouldn't have to worry about impressing your Ivy League co-worker with your Mizzou credentials -- though, honestly, if you were at Harpo's you might have to worry about a few too many popped collars (thank god we don't have watch parties on the Upper East Side) — but, as stated, seriously: How's their football team doing? Rowing watch parties just don't quite have the same luster to them. Do they?

I Guess There Is No One To Blame. We're Leaving Ground. Will Things Ever Be The Same Again?

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:52:00 +0000

This is, with apologies to Europe, The Final Countdown. It's the final countdown. The final countdown. The final countdown ... ohh ho ohh.

But it's not the end. The links below will always lead you my stuff, and, if anything changes, I can still update it all here. So...

FEEDS! Yes, as some have asked, there is a feed just for my stuff. (It's not perfect, though. Every so often something else get mixed in by mistake.) Here it is: http://rss.starpulse.com/news/xmlsrv/rss2.php?blog=2&cat=92

If you're not a direct feed kind of person, there is always this direct link: http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php?s=Mike+Ryan&sentence=sentence&submit=Search

And, as always, maybe the best way, there's Twitter. I ALWAYS link to my stuff and I take questions and suggestions for upcoming projects. Which you can subscribe to right here: http://twitter.com/michaelwryan

So, that's that. Honestly, I loved this blog and I appreciate everyone who was a regular reader. I appreciate the people who put up with my "questionable" grammar at the beginning and gave me time to find a voice that, hopefully, is enjoyable to read. And, yes, thanks to Gawker.com who, without, I would sill be sitting here writing (actually, probably not) to ten visitors a day. And with that ... after two and a half years ... after 650 posts ... Midwesterner's Guide is now closed.

The Love You Take is Equal To The Love ... You Make

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:21:00 +0000

This is a happy day for me. This is the end of Midwesterners's Guide to Living in New York City -- and yes, we all know this site really ended many months ago -- but, hey, I thought it deserved a proper sendoff. (Though, this is not the last post, there will be one more with a couple of links.) Now, why is this a happy day? Because I was hired full time by a website to write for a living. Pretty insane. And, you know what? That was never the goal (mostly because I deemed it impossible).

My goal was, honestly, to use this site as an outlet for some creative juices that I did not have the ability to expunge at my job at the current time. I mean, for Christ's sake, I worked for a fucking insurance company. I'm not making this up: some of the funniest people I've ever met in my life worked for this company, but it is the definition of "soul crushing" if there ever was one. At least for me. So, in early 2007, I started this blog.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about it (other than the full time writing gig, no mixed feelings there). I met A LOT of people through this blog. A lot. And for quite some time I considered them my friends. Hey, we were all unpaid blogspot.com/typepad bloggers who thought we were a lot more important than we actually were. Oh My God, we're writing on the Internet! To be honest: In the realm of PERSONAL blogs, yes, a lot of ours were quite popular. And we could drink!!! But, fuel for the ego is never a good reason to become friends with someone.

Today, I have maybe three or four people that I consider friends from the entire experience. That's it. At one time I would have said 20. Funny, people just drop others at the drop of a hat with no explanation. In fact, I saw relationships deteriorate worse than any others in my life ... it took one person two months to even tell the person he/she was dating that it was over. Why is this? Because we had personal blogs! Having a blog at all, even some minuscule piece of shit blogspot blog like this one or any other one takes quite an ego to create. In other words: If you have a blog... there is something wrong with you. Seriously. And I'm all sorts of fucked up so this makes perfect sense to me.

Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. Only one of my (non-paid) blogger friends congratulated me on getting a full time gig. I have no idea why that is. I received accolades from every walk of life besides them. I'll assume, for now, that they didn't know. Could be true. But, if not, it shows you the ego involved. (And, yeah, I do not exclude myself. I have a HUGE ego. And if it was someone else, I might be saying the same thing, "Hey.. I'm better than that guy! Why him and not me!!" Though, I like to think I'm, at least, a good friend. Maybe not. Probably not.)

I quit my corporate job in August of 2007 looking for this. Now, it's here. Look, I know how lucky I am to have a paying writing job but, at the same time, I've worked my fucking ass off to get it. So ... this is it. This is the end of the blog that started it all for me. I feel like the last episode of "One Day At A Time" when the whole family moves out of the apartment and turns the light off at the end.

"This is it. This is it. This is life, the one you get. So go and have a ball.
This is it. This is it, Straight ahead and rest assured You can't be sure at
all. So while you're here enjoy the view Keep on doing what you do So hold on
tight we'll muddle through One day at a time, One day at a time."

This site meant the world to me. It was mine. I built it. Does that make sense? Even now, I'm a professional writer but this was my site. But, all things must pass. Hey: two and a half years is a good run. And most blogs die of neglect, not moving on to better things, right? I'm obviously still around, so, please still read my stuff on the other website and Twitter. But, until then, I leave you with one last thought ...

Woody Allen and Larry David

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:43:00 +0000

Unbelievably I got to say some words in the form of a question to Woody Allen and he looked at me and said words back. May be a highlight of my life.

Woody Allen and Larry David discuss Whatever Works

"Joe Buck Live" in print, on the web

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:58:00 +0000

We just posted an interview I did with lead FOX Sports announcer (and fellow St. Louisan) Joe Buck in which he discusses his new HBO show and talks about his critics, such as Bill Simmons.

INTERVIEW WITH JOE BUCK

Zack Attack

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:39:00 +0000

Last night I was at Jimmy Fallon's show to watch the return of Zack Morris. After the show, I did this interview with Mark-Paul Gosselaar about returning as Zack.

Mike: When did you first hear Jimmy Fallon was trying to put together a "Saved by the Bell" reunion?

Mark-Paul Gosselaar: I think it was just like everyone else, I didn't see the show but I think it was on one of his first shows that he did. But I heard about it online. We found out kind of like the rest of everyone. My first reaction was, "Dude, Fallon, you're such a motherfucker." In a funny way and that's exactly what I said to him, "You f*cking motherfucker, you bastard, you. You're going to make me do something." It's a challenge. It's when somebody does something and you go, "Okay, what are we going to do here that people are going to like and enjoy?" READ MORE

Hungover

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:00:00 +0000

"I'm psyched for you to see this movie, I think you're going to like it. We're really proud of it." Ed Helms to me in a recent interview about "The Hangover."

One of the biggest compliments I can give to a film that I'm reviewing is that I would pay money -- after just seeing it for free -- to see it again. The Hangover, without question, is one of these films and I guarantee that I will see it again. So, yes, Ed Helms, you were absolutely correct: I will try, now, to express in words how much I loved this film. Seriously, I loved the hell out of The Hangover. READ MORE

The Nard Dog

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:58:00 +0000

My new interview with Ed Helms from "The Hangover" and "The Office."

Mike: What was it like working with The Champ?

Ed Helms: Unbelievable! It's. Mike. Tyson. for Christ's sake! READ MORE

Raising The Bell

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:16:00 +0000

Honestly, Mark-Paul Gosselaar is one of the most fun interviews I've ever done. It started off good, getting all the answers I needed, but, then, it hit a new level at the end that was unexpected as we switched subjects from "Raising the Bar" to "Saved by the Bell."

Mike: Hypothetically, let's say the second season of "Raising the Bar" begins. Instead of New York, all of a sudden it's set in California. And it's just Jerry, Charlie and Bobbi; nobody else. All their families live there now, too. And Judge Kessler lives there. But, there is no explanation for any of these changes. Okay, I've been trying to wrap my head around that same scenario for 21 years only the move was from Indiana to California. Do you have any explanation for this so that I can go to my 35th birthday knowing how this happened?

Mark-Paul Gosselaar: (Long pause) Of why? Why would you move, well... Indiana?

Mike: From what we saw happen on "Good Morning, Miss Bliss" to what it became the next season ["Saved By the Bell"], they went from Indiana to California. Three families [The Morrises, the Turtles and the the Powerses] and their principal [Mr. Belding] with no explanation.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar: Ohhhh, that's right! (pauses, then erupts in long laughter). Oh fuck, Mike, that's pretty fucking good. That totally went over my head. "Good Morning, Miss Bliss" took place in Indiana? READ MORE

This, That and H1N1

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Tue, 26 May 2009 12:50:00 +0000

First, I'm sorry (I'm not really sorry) I don't do much around these parts except link to other items I write on the Internets. I've thought many times -- while laying in bed for eight straight days with swine flu (not kidding) -- it may be time to shut this thing down. I mean, I don't write about myself anymore -- I finally accepted the fact that I'm just not that interesting -- all I really do now are film and television interviews; a personal blog just seems kind of unnecessary. I mean, if you do happen to like like some of the things I do (and if so, thank you) you can always just bookmark this page. But, alas, I will keep this thing going for the meantime, but I'm not sure why.

I've been enjoying Twitter more than I ever thought I would. If you look back: Most of the original content on this site could have and should have really been condensed to 140 characters anyway. Also, if you like the interviews I've done, this is where you can submit questions for the interviews ... if you so choose. So, yes, follow.

Round Two With Michael Cudlitz From Southland

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Thu, 21 May 2009 14:59:00 +0000

When Michael Cudlitz and I last spoke, back in April, I used some, well, (ahem) colorful language during an interview junket -- a junket that everyone but me thought was on live local television -- to describe his character on Southland, Officer John Cooper. We finally get a chance to go one-on-one and clear the air over that moment and, more importantly, discuss tonight's season finale of Southland (airing at 10 pm ET on NBC) along with his experience on Band of Brothers and working with John Cusack in Grosse Point Blank.

Michael Cudlitz: You're the guy who said, "You're a dick."

Mike: (Laughs) Well, I was talking about your character but... READ MORE

It's Judgement Day for "Terminator Salvation"

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:37:00 +0000

It was quite a scene last night at the Terminator Salvation screening. Metal detectors, bag searches, no cell phones allowed. Yep, security was tight. Here's my review:

When I first heard there would be a fourth Terminator film, my reaction fell somewhere in between what it would be if they announced a seventh Highlander film and the announcement of a third Mannequin -- with Mannequin being on the higher level of excitement. Now that's not to say I didn't enjoy the hell out of the first two Terminator films, I did... a lot. But once James Cameron left the series, the third film, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, followed by the recently canceled The Sara Connor Chronicles, drifted the franchise in a direction I wasn't interested in. There seemed to be too many 'smokin' hot' terminators and not, you know, 'scary as hell' terminators. My interest was not aroused until a press release was released in late 2007, Christian Bale would play the role of John Connor. Instant credibility. READ MORE

Waiting For Parker Posey

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Tue, 19 May 2009 17:42:00 +0000

Here's a little secret about entertainment reporting: When you read those little blurbs containing a quick celebrity quote, most likely those were obtained at some sort of premiere or charity function that said celebrity is appearing. Then, some stooge just like me will approach them and attempt to get a good enough quote to be included in the next day's copy. Now, this approach is a 50/50 proposition. Sometimes said celebrity will be gracious -- knowing that you're just trying to do your job -- other times they're, well, annoyed. And really... who can blame them? It probably goes without saying that I despise this form of interview and rarely do it. I prefer to go through the proper channels before I'm eventually rejected -- it adds a bit of formality to it. At least I can pretend it wasn't personal; an in-person rejection... it's hard to convince myself it's not personal. That's not to say there's no perks to these events: Hey! Open bar!

I was recently invited to attend the VIP night of an event called "Design on a Dime" here in New York City. It's organized by the non-profit Housing Works -- which provides housing for people that are HIV positive or living with AIDS -- an organization I once interned for in their communications department. There was a certain pride returning as media -- though my dreams of the event being a miserable failure without me were, sadly, dissolved quickly -- but, I had difficult task ahead of me. You must realize that if you're reading this, this website doesn't often report on their writers getting drunk at celebrity galas, so that angle wasn't really going to work. I needed a celebrity interview to be able to cover this charity event. Without one, I've got nothing (except, well, the open bar and a hangover).

The good news: Parker Posey was in attendance. So were The Real Housewives of New York City and Jaclyn Smith. I know absolutely nothing about The Real Housewives of New York City other than they are, apparently, housewives, and they live in New York City (Me too!). Parker Posey, though, is one of my absolute favorites who's starring in an upcoming film with Demi Moore, Happy Tears. Though, the bad news: Parker Posey rarely does interviews. Shit.

Across the room I see her. Parker Posey. Absolutely beautiful, but not in a 'she looks twenty years younger than she is is supposed to look' way. Screw it, all in: I decide this is the best strategy. I walk straight toward her. But with every step I start losing my confidence as quickly as a house would lose shingles during a hurricane. She was right in front of me and I ... walk right past her. I can't do it. I return to the open bar, frightened, and down a McSorley Ale. Damn it, man. Get yourself together; you're a professional.

I return to the scene of the most recent failure in my life to try again. Parker is sitting on a couch posing for pictures with Jaclyn Smith. After finishing she receives the glad hand from those in attendance; she is gracious in response to their compliments. Now, she's right in front of me. I introduce myself ... for a split second she could not have been a nicer human being. That was, until she found out I was in the media.

When I asked about her new film, she recoiled, "Look, I'm just here for Housing Works. I really love them and I want it to just be about them. I don't do interviews." My heart broke.

I acknowledged, "I love them, too. In fact I once did an internship for Housing Works."

Not expecting that response, Parker Posey gave me a look that can only be defined as, 'You better not be f*cking with me.' I immediately name dropped at least five people that I know in the hierarchy of the non-profit. The shield she had raised was now gone, sort of. "Do you know why I don't like doing press? I have trouble condensing things, I'd rather have a conversation. These loud places... I find superficial."

"But," she continued on the subject of Happy Tears, "it was amazing working with [Demi Moore]. She's just an amazing woman. She's a super woman! She's incredible. She's so strong and intelligent; her and Ashton [Kutcher] are just meant for each other. It's very interesting to be around that."

I continued, "From what I've seen of it, this role looks like something she can really sink her teeth into. It looks like a great story."

"Yeah, yeah," Parker responded, "It was very natural playing her sister; we play sisters in the movie. It worked, it was really fun. Ellen Barkin, too, is incredible."

The last thing I said, more of a compliment than a question, "As a native Missourian, your accent in Waiting for Guffman [set in the fictional Blaine, MO]; you nailed it."

"Oh, yes, yes! Awww, that's great. Thank you." Which was followed by one last piece of advice, "Now ... have fun!."

Thanks to you, madame, for the rest of the evening ... I did.

Housing Works provides housing for people that are HIV positive ot living with AIDS. All proceeds from Design on a Dime go to Housing Works, the nation’s largest grassroots AIDS service organization.

T-Minus 60 Minutes to the HIMYM Season Finale Live Blog

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:35:00 +0000

Mothers! Goats! Let's Watch together! Here's the direct link:

How I Met Your Mother Season Finale Live Blog

"How I Met Your Mother" Season Finale Live Blog Tonight

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:42:00 +0000

In a March interview with Entertainment Weekly, "How I Met Your Mother" co-creator Carter Bays said, "At the end of the season, we will address the title of our show."

Neil Patrick Harris confirmed to Michael Ausiello that yes, ""We're going to learn all about the goat in the season finale."

So, yeah, tonight's the night. hope you guys can join me online and comment ... nothing worse than live blogging alone (well, I know Bill from Gainesville will be there, so that's one. Thanks Bill!). I'll probably start a little bit after 8 pm ET. Here's the link to the promo: HIMYM LIVE BLOG. The link to the live blog will appear in the promo around 6 pm and I'll put the link on here, too.

HMYM Reminder

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:51:00 +0000

Monday night around 8:15 pm ET I will be doing a live blog over at Starpulse (I will have a link by Monday, follow me on Twitter for updates, too) of the How I Met Your Mother season finale where we are told the title of the show will be addressed AND we finally learn the goat story. Please, oh please, don't make me do this alone. Who's coming with me? Anyone ...

The Da Vinci Woes

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Thu, 14 May 2009 18:49:00 +0000

I was at a screening for the new Tom Hanks' thriller "Angels and Demons" last night. It was okay. Here are 500 more words conveying just that.

Remember the movie The Man With One Red Shoe? Tom Hanks played an unsuspecting concert violinist who is mistaken for a spy. It was not particularly well made and it was not particularly funny but, hey, it had Dabney Coleman! What it also had was Hanks in the midst of his kinda-silly-movie era -- which also included Volunteers, Dragnet and The Money Pit -- movies that meant nothing, but at least they sort of realized that. What does this have to do with Hanks' new film, Angels and Demons? Not a lot. Other than I kind of miss silly-movie-era Hanks, at times, and Angels and Demons didn't quite get the memo that it isn't an important movie. READ MORE

Monday Night HIMYM Live Blog

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:17:00 +0000

Compared to the week before, this weeks episode was a bit of a letdown but, at least, it seemed to wrap up the Stella storyline.

Next Monday is the season finale of How I Met Your Mother and, like last year, I will be live blogging the episode for Starpulse.com. There is nothing worse than live blogging by myself so I do hope you all can make it. More details to follow.

Outside The Office

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Tue, 12 May 2009 15:16:00 +0000

There's a pretty fantastic looking new film coming out next month called Away We Go starring The Office's John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph from SNL. I spoke to John about the new film along with, of course Manny Ramirez...

Mike: I was immediately attracted to Away We Go the first time I saw the trailer, which I think was a few weeks ago before that Russell Crowe movie...

John Krasinski: State of Play?

Mike: Yes. And I loved that it starts out with the line talking about how they're in their early 30's reassessing their life. And I'm in that age range and I think it will kind of speak to that age group.

John Krasinski: One hundred percent, yeah. And the coolest part about the movie is that it's not a pregnancy movie. Us getting pregnant is just the catalyst to us, basically, taking another look at our lives and being like: Oh, wait, are we ready? Are we good people? Have we done all of the things we want to do? All of my friends fall into the 25 - 40 category and believe it or not everybody still has the same thoughts. I have friends who are married with kids who are still thinking whether or not they're doing exactly what they want to do, or are they getting everything out of life they wanted. Sam said it best when he said it was a movie about belonging.

Mike: You're a big Red Sox fan, right?

John Krasinski: I am, yeah.

Mike: As a Red Sox fan, what's your thought on Manny Ramirez's steroid suspension? Does it still hurt considering he's not on the Red Sox?

John Krasinski: Oh it totally hurts. He's still on all the billboards here in L.A. (laughs).

Mike: That's true, he kind of followed you.

John Krasinski: Yeah, exactly.

Mike: This is probably a sore subject; I probably shouldn't have brought it up.

John Krasinski: No, not at all. It has a lot to do with the movie; don't worry about it, we'll figure it out (laughs) READ MORE

"Sit Down and Shut Up," says Fox to Sit Down, Shut Up.

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:03:00 +0000

This interview I did with SNL's Kenan Thompson almost became "Will Forte Likes To Wear Fake Moustaches Part II." Still, it's a shame that Fox only gave Sit Down, Shut Up two episodes before it moved it to the shit hole of a time slot that's it's in right now. So much for giving the show a chance. Hopefully, it can still survive.

Mike: When you do the voice-over work, do you ever do it with any of the other actors? Or are you usually by yourself?

Kenan: I'm usually by myself. Me and [Will] Forte usually do it; I'll go in for an hour and he'll go in right behind me because we're the only ones in New York.

Mike: I assumed you and Forte did it together.

Kenan: I think we get a lot more done, faster, when people just do their individual parts.

Mike: I recently did an interview with Will and it was brought up how much he enjoys wearing a moustache on Saturday Night Live. I'm quite surprised his Sit Down, Shut Up character does not have a moustache. When you pass him in the hallway is he wearing a moustache when he goes in to do his voice over work?

Kenan: (Long laugh) Yeah, he has this fake moustache he keeps in his backpack. But it's a strange transformation he goes through when he puts a moustache on. It's very funny. It's like automatic douchebag. It's crazy! READ MORE

The Return Of Tuesday Morning HIMYM

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Wed, 06 May 2009 01:04:00 +0000

Yes, It's been awhile; I'm busy with other writing projects; blah blah blah; on with the episode!

The yellow umbrella is back! In an episode pretty much told in flash back we ... finally ... know ... well, something. Ted (Josh Radnor) makes a big deal about the events that lead up to the final moment of the episode; going as far to tell his future children they would not exist without those events. The end of the episode leaves Ted standing on a street corner with the yellow umbrella and meeting ... Stella. OK, look, there is no way the mother is Stella -- though it was good to see Sarah Chalke again -- and here is why:

First, Stella left Ted at the alter for Jason Jones so her child could be with her natural father; that's not the romantic lead up Bays and Thomas are going for, here. Also, remember the scene last season when future Ted told the future kids, "and that's how I met your mother," and all of a sudden the kids had blond hair and Stella showed up behind them? Yeah, they wouldn't blatantly lie to the audience. They pretty much said right then that Stella was not the mother.

Here is what we do know: Ted had a yellow umbrella he found the morning after St. Patrick's Day 2008 when he was looking for his lost cell phone. Stella mentioned last season, in passing, the only day she went out in 2008 was St. Patrick's Day. So, we can assume she may have been at the same bar that Ted was at on St. Patrick's Day. And since the scene at the end of tonight's episode seemed to have something to do with the umbrella, we can assume Stella did not know it was Ted until he pulled the umbrella away; so she knew that umbrella.

My guess: Obviously tonight's events are important. Bays and Thomas have already said that the season finale will shed light on who the mother is. So, I think, Stella is friends with Ted's future wife. Who obviously still bitches about losing that yellow umbrella because she cares enough to still complain to her friends about it. So much so that Stella would walk up to (what she thought was) a complete stranger to try to retrieve it over a year later.

Thoughts? Does anyone have a better theory? Though, it's not Stella!! Don't even try to say it's Stella!!

Update: As pointed out by reader Steve. the chart showing Mcgee's -- the real life inspiration for MacLaren's -- as Marshall's second favorite bar.

O Captain! My Captain!

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Mon, 04 May 2009 15:44:00 +0000

Here's my last Star Trek interview before its release on Friday -- and, no, I'm not jealous at all of those who have already seen it (grumble grumble). Faran Tahir is a starship captain this time, quite a change from his role as Raza in Iron Man. Comments always appreciated.

Mike: What's your favorite moment in the movie or on set?

Faran: I think the thing I'm always going to remember -- and it sounds kind of childish because it was a child's fantasy -- was literally walking on to the bridge the first time I got onto the set and saw the bridge of my ship. I was a ten year old boy because my mind was like, "Wow! I am the captain of a ship! I have my own chair!"

Mike: And how long are you captain for?

Faran: That... you will have to find out. But you look around and everything works. It took me ten minutes to soak it all in then I was like, "OK, I guess I have to act now." You felt like doing somersaults, or something. READ MORE

I'm Batman

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:32:00 +0000

Yes, this may be a highlight of my life, I got to (briefly) interview Batman. Well, Michael Keaton, that is.

Isn't it nice to have Michael Keaton back in our lives? Now, he may point out that he hadn't actually gone anywhere. But it has been three years since we've seen Keaton in theaters. Keaton's a charming guy, which was always a signature of a Michael Keaton Movie -- Mr. Mom, Gung Ho and, yes, even Batman.

Keaton is back in theaters this Friday with what could be, arguably, described as the first true Michael Keaton movie, considering he's making his directorial debut -- as well as starring -- in The Merry Gentleman. A story that follows a woman (Kelly MacDonald) who moves to Chicago after an abusive relationship and forms a friendship with Keaton, who's a suicidal hitman.

We sat down with Michael Keaton and asked him about his decision to direct after original director, Ron Lazzeretti, dropped out with appendicitis.

Mike: When it was determined Ron Lazzeretti couldn't direct: How much time did you put into your decision? Were you immediately, "Oh, I want to do this," or did you think, "I'm not quite sure what I might be getting myself into"?

Michael Keaton: (Laughs) Kinda both! No. READ MORE

Carolina Rising

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 16:23:00 +0000

I don't beg often (OK, perhaps I do because I know I've written that exact same line before) but if you have a couple of minutes, jump over and read a piece I wrote about this small band from North Carolina called American Aquarium. Chances are you've never heard of them; I implore you to give them a chance. Also, comments on this piece are extremely appreciated! I know the usual crowd over there are not going to care too much about this piece. It's not that long, but the piece spans three years and I probably put way too much work into it.

BJ Barham approached the microphone. With some confidence, yes, but perhaps not what he is used to having. "Hello, we're American Aquarium and we're from North Carolina," he announces with a nervous swagger to the sparse crowd; a statement he would repeat more than a few times this evening. Surveying the room, he sees no familiar faces; this is rare, especially compared to back in Raleigh. This wasn't a prime timeslot -- Sunday night at 11 pm -- as they are often accustomed to, but, still, it was New York City. Their set would be a good one, though Barham would not think so. So much so that his base player would look at him with disgust between every song as Barham apologized to the crowd. This was August of 2006, the five member band's first trip to New York. Only one would ever return. READ MORE

Fake Moustaches

midwesternerinnyc@nyc.rr.com (Midwesterner in NYC) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:46:00 +0000

Will Forte has been one of my favorite cast members on SNL since he started on the show in 2002. This may be one of my favorite interview so far. And, yes, he loves wearing fake moustaches. Also, I know it's a pain in the ass to register, but it takes, honestly, 15 seconds and comments over there on this story do mean a lot.

Will: I love moustaches so much! I agree. I think there's something... I feel funnier with a moustache on, usually (laughs). But you're absolutely right! I don't know why that is. I agree, I have got to show that to Lorne. A long time ago he would get bummed out because I would always be wanting to add a moustache. There was one scene where we almost got into a fight; it was still kind of early on and he didn't want me having a moustache on because he wanted people to get to know who I was. And I was like, "No, I want this moustache on!" And it did turn into a little thing. He's awesome; but there was this dumb little moustache fight. And eventually, of course, I'm not going to wear it because he doesn't want me to, but I'm still convinced the sketch would have gone better if I had worn the moustache (laughs). But, now he lets me wear moustaches all the time.

Mike: I thought you were going to reveal the character you were fighting over was Bush having a moustache.

Will: That would've been great. I would have felt more comfortable playing Bush if I had gotten to wear a moustache.

Mike: You should have wrote him a letter requesting that he grow one.

Will: Sir, you would look really good with a moustache. READ MORE