The study showed 67% of men ages 65 to 74 said they had been sexually active in the past year, compared with just 40% of women in that age group. And for those single, gay and dating, the figure runs to 105%.

The study coordinators believe Viagra has a lot to do with the “I want you NOW” gender gap. Since having a healthy sex life is a strong indicator of overall health (and a longer life). They also predict that if you’re a 30-year-old male, you can expect to have sex for 35 more years. The authors call this measure your “sexually active life expectancy,” or SALE. (I couldn’t make that up if I tried).

That means if you’re 30 you have 35 more years of gay bars! If that doesn’t make you want to cut your life expectancy, I don’t know what will.

1. Are you hitting on me? If he likes you, you’re in. Stop reading. Go home. Enjoy him. If he’s not sure or he’s not immediately attracted, the law of gay attraction is going to pull you down. You better give him a reason for talking, so say something like, “Help me settle a bet with a friend…” or “I’m asking you because…” The point is to give him context. You can always try the direct route—“because I want to bend you over the railing and pound the dust out of your rug.” But really, if it were that easy you wouldn’t need my gay tips.

2. How long are you going to be? If he’s not immediately attracted to you, he’ll spend the whole time trying to get rid of you. So, use a “Time Constraint” –something that lets him know he’s a pit stop, not a landing spot. Like, “I have to get back to my friend in a sec, but I have to ask you…” Pair it with symmetrical body language—leaning away, or taking a couple of steps away as you’re talking. When it comes to dating or hooking up, the shortest distance between two zippers isn’t always a straight line.

By giving him 1) a rationale for talking and 2) leaving quickly, you’ve set up an exquisite question in your future ex-husband’s mind–“Was that guy interested or just being friendly?” That’s exactly where you want him: Wondering. Because wondering will make him more receptive to your company when you come back–and you will (more on how later), giving you the opportunity to charm the pants off him.

And inch him closer to that railing.

2. Iman

3. Paris Hilton

Straight women aren’t the only people who can’t seem to meet the right guy. Gay men can’t seem to either. The difference is that women aren’t “allowed” to approach men while gay men are expected to. And this sets up what psychologists call “Approach Anxiety” — the fear of initiating contact with a good looking stranger.

It goes something like this: You see a beautiful guy at a gay bar or a party and you want to meet him in the worst way. But fear matches your desire. Doubt sets in. Alarms go off. The fantasy of being with him draws you in but the thought of actually saying something to him scares you to death.

Approach anxiety and conversational skill deficiencies feed on each other. If you knew exactly what to say and how to say it, your approach anxiety would melt like I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

But there’s an even bigger reason that approach anxiety rears its ugly head and keeps gay men from connecting with the kind of guys they want to date (especially in gay bars): Believing that good looking strangers are something they’re not.

Most of us see an attractive guy as a goal–something we want to, ahem, achieve. But if he’s a goal, taking the chance of approaching him has only two possible outcomes: Leave with him in your arms or your tail between your legs.

The thing about goals is that you either achieve them or you don’t. You win or lose, it’s black and white, sink or swim. Actually, it’s worse. When your goal is love, sex or both, it feels more like Live or Die. You either get validated by a beautiful guy or die of embarrassment from trying to talk to him. That’s a pretty high price for what amounts to saying hello. And it’s what makes gay nightlife turn into gay frightlife.

So what’s the secret to overcoming your fear of rejection? It’s coming to a profound realization about every good looking guy:

He’s not a goal. He’s a portal.

The guy you want to meet is not an objective; he’s an entryway. He’s somebody who’s going to lead you to the next moment in your life. He may be the next guy you date but what if he ends introducing you to the next guy you date? What if he becomes your next acquaintance, friend, or business contact? Or the guy who points you to the sports league you didn’t know existed, the concert you didn’t know was scheduled or that restaurant that just opened. Maybe you’ll just get a great story out of the experience of meeting him. Or a funny joke. But if you’re open to all of it, any of it, then suddenly Mr. Hot, by the definition of a portal, CAN’T induce fear of rejection, ridicule or loss. He can only instill a sense of curiosity about what’s next.

Once you’ve redefined and realigned your perception of attractive guys, the fear of rejection goes away. But you’re still left with a major dilemma: What do you say to attractive strangers that won’t make you sound like an idiot?

The Art of the Gay Pickup is a new series of postings that will show readers how to pick up gay men.

Dear Sexorcist:

I’ve been having a hard time getting it hard lately. I’m 33 and I do smoke and drink. I have always had a good hard dude but lately with my girlfriend it’s been a chore. Don’t tell me to give up the cigs or the Jack—it ain’t gonna happen. Weird that suddenly I’m having problems getting it up. How do I straighten this out?

– Too Soft in Sylvan Hills

Dear Too Soft:

Saying you want a solution without cutting back is like asking how you can avoid a flat tire on a road full of nails. So, straight from the Department of Duh: Stop smoking and drinking. If you give a urine sample and an olive comes out, it’s time to quit. Or at the very, least cut back.

Erections are about blood flow. The more the flow the harder you’ll go. Guess what smoking does? Constricts blood vessels leading to the penis. Alcohol? Numbs the senses. The only thing that cigarettes and alcohol give a lift to is Viagra’s sales chart.

Click here to read more…

As equality rises homophobia will fall and so will the need for using marriage as a bush we can use to shimmy over to the rights trough.

The Washington Post did a great video of couples standing in line:

Over 50 couples lined up at the city clerk’s office this morning as Washington DC’s new gay marriage law takes effect. The Supreme Court turned down opponents who had asked it to stop the proceedings. Good thing, because straight people have almost as much to gain from gay marriage as the people in this morning’s line.

Homophobia creates a great deal of marriages that end in divorce. Homophobia drives the fearful into fraudulent marriages. It compels people into deceit. Like my friend Paul. He wanted kids, he wanted job promotions, he wanted acceptance. What he didn’t want was the stigma of being gay. He was convinced that he could not have what he wanted out of life without living a life he didn’t want. So he lived a life he didn’t want to get the things that he did. He married. And years later, when he couldn’t bear living the lie anymore, he divorced. Leaving hurt children, an angry wife and confused relatives.

For every gay man or woman who married as a means of hiding–and then came out–there are at least three or four heterosexual victims: The spouse, the parents of the spouse, the parents of the gay person, the relatives of both and most importantly, the couple’s children.

If we will not be punished for loving someone of the same sex, if we will not be denied the protections and benefits of marriage, if we will not be denied a promotion, what incentive do we have to pretend to be straight? If we can get everything we want out of life without pretending to be someone we’re not, why go through the trouble of lying?

With the ability to marry, fewer and fewer of us will enter into sham marriages to get the privileges that come from being, or at least acting, heterosexual. As equality rises homophobia will fall and so will the need for using marriage as a bush we can use to shimmy over to the rights trough. By removing the need for marrying under false pretenses, same sex marriage will end needless heterosexual suffering.

Same sex marriage will also help heterosexual marriages in other ways. Like expanding gender role expectations. Because our relationships aren’t based on defined roles or social conventions we negotiate everything–from who pays for the groceries to who cooks the meals. For example, who cooks and cleans when the couple is all-male? Who takes out the garbage and mows the lawn when the couple is all-female? As straight people see that conventional gender assumptions can be challenged and resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, they too will experience the kind of freedom that helps marriages stay together.

Same sex marriage will also reinforce bonds between straight fathers and their children. If two married gay men adopt a child there will always be a father attending the child’s school activities. Witnessing this, wives will put more pressure on their husbands to attend their children’s activities (’Johnny’s father is gay and he comes to the PTA meetings; why can’t you?’). As straight fathers are pressured to change their priorities they’ll forge deeper connections with their children.

Same sex marriage will also create stronger heterosexual marriages by changing the way straight married men relate to each other. Homophobia prevents straight men from bonding with each other in emotionally meaningful ways. They don’t show their vulnerabilities and find it hard to talk to each other about their feelings. Gay marriage would decrease homophobia and allow straight men to be emotionally closer to each other without the fear of being perceived as gay. This emotional closeness would help men keep their marriages strong because they’d be able to lean on each other as problems in their marriage arise.

Contrary to everything that’s said in mainstream papers, gays and lesbians aren’t going to ruin marriage; we’re going to improve it. This is going to be the mother of all make-overs. If it were a TV show it’d be called Queer Eye for the Straight Altar.

Mike Alvear is the author of the instantly downloadable ebook, Meet The Hottie In The Corner–
The 21 Day Plan To Overcome Your Fear of Rejection, Master the Art of Icebreakers and Snag Guys You Never Thought You Could Get.