From The Guardian: Alexander the Great’s bare bottom is keeping a highly-praised debut novel off shelves in Canada.

Annabel Lyon’s The Golden Mean is the story of Alexander’s childhood, told through the eyes of his tutor Aristotle. Praised as “a triumph of erudition and story-telling” by The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas author John Boyne and shortlisted for Canada’s top literary award, the Giller prize, it was published last year in Canada and is just out in the UK where the Financial Times has admired its “eerie earthiness”.

But apparently its jacket – featuring a naked man lying on the back of an equally naked white horse – is offensive to some. Although stores across Canada and the UK are selling the book, Lyons revealed on her blog that British Columbia ferry company BC Ferries is not stocking it “since the trade paperback still features a bare bum on the cover”.

From a reader: My boyfriend of only a few weeks has expressed interest in threesomes since Day One. Its not like he comes out and says it, but its obvious he’s curious about it. I’ve expressed my dislike but I don’t want to push him away. My problem with the three-way thing is the “third wheel” phenomenon where someone almost always ends up feeling like they’re not part of the bicycle. How do I talk to my boyfriend about my concerns without scaring him off?

–Third wheel fears.

Dear Third Wheel:
Math problems tend to illuminate most relationship problems, so do a quick one for me. You’re driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get in. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. Now what was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Think hard.

Answer: You, you idiot.

My point, and I do have one, is that in the race to keep your man you forgot the most important person—You, you idiot. Your letter was filled with your boyfriend’s wishes but not yours. What do YOU want out of the relationship? I can tell you one thing–it ain’t a three-way. You didn’t write to ask me how you should do it. You wrote because you’re scared he’s going to kick you to the curb if you don’t allow an extra nutsack in the bedroom.

Anybody who drops three-way hints so early in the dating game is telling you he thinks monogamy is a board game by Milton Bradley. If I were you, I’d be more worried about being a second banana in the relationship than being a third wheel in bed. Do you want to open up a relationship with somebody whose last name you just learned how to spell? If your answer’s yes, go for it. If the answer’s no, break up now before you fall in love. If the answer’s maybe, tell him you want to try a four-to-six month period of being exclusive first. In case you’re confused, re-read your letter. You are SO in the “No” category.

Judge upholds Augusta State University’s requirement that a graduate student read material about counseling gays and increase her exposure to that community after she objected to counseling homosexual clients was “academically legitimate,” a federal court judge ruled Friday.

U.S. District Judge Randal Hall’s decision enables university officials to expel Jennifer Keeton if she does not follow the remediation plan, which professors designed to “address issues of multicultural competence and develop understanding and empathy.”
Hall said the case is not about “pitting Christianity against homosexuality,” but rather the constitutionality of the school’s requirement.
Professors asked Keeton to complete the remediation plan after she said she opposed homosexuality and would tell gay clients “their behavior is morally wrong and then help the client change that behavior,” according to an affidavit filed in the case.

Read More from The Augusta Chronicle:

From a reader: First off, I’d like to congratulate you for being such a medically correct funny, heartless gay bastard. I like your column so much I went out to buy your queer-ass ebooks. But I digress… I have to sound off! I think gay dating has gone stale for me and I’m in dire need of help. I find myself asking the same boring questions, like, “When did you come out, are you out to your family, what do you do, or secretly, WHEN are you gonna do me?” I desperately need some conversation starters. How can I get to know someone without sounding like a scratched record?

– Hate repeating repeating myself

Dear Repeating Repeating:
The answer is to cut the canned crap and talk about what happened the day of your date—what you saw, experienced or felt. And stick to positive comments. Nobody wants to date cynical, bitter people–that’s what friends are for.

If you’re too nervous to wing it then remember a few fun-to-answer questions. For example: Bring up the X-men movies and ask, “Whose power would you rather have—Storm or Wolverine’s?” It’s just a version of the classic question, “Would you rather be able to fly like Superman or be invisible?”

I always say Superman. Here’s why: See, one day Superman flies past Wonder Woman’s penthouse suite where he sees her naked in bed, lying on her back. Superman thinks to himself, “I’m faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it.” So in an instant, Superman flies in, does the deed, and flies back out. At this point, Wonder Woman sits up and says, “Did you hear something?” “No,” replies the Invisible Man, “but my butt is killing me.

God, I love sneaking a bad joke into my columns. Seriously, the best way to avoid conversational Ebola is to use “Multiple Threads.” That’s fancy talk for bringing up lots of subjects and bouncing from one to the other without actually finishing them. Almost everyone uses “Multiple Threads” with their close friends but revert to single threads in tense or awkward situations.

A single-thread conversation goes like this– You: “Have you seen the new hotel downtown?” Him: “No, is it any good?” You: “Yes, it’s pretty cool.” In other words, the conversation is B-O-R-I-N-G.

If he were your best friend, you’d have a multiple thread conversation that would go something like this—You: “Have you seen the new hotel downtown?” Him: “No, but I tricked in the building next door.” You: “Christ, you’re a walking petri dish.” Him: “I heard the hotel’s pretty cool.” You: “Yes, they’re naming the restaurant after you—Slutsky’s.”

You start a multiple thread conversation by gently switching subjects with your date and then going back to the original one. If he’s talking about his job, interrupt him with a, “Oh, oh, before you answer that, did I tell what my boss did today?” Tell your story quickly and go back to the original thread. Another technique is to stop your own story, ask him an unrelated question, then go back to your story.

Multiple threads add energy and zest to conversations. Just make sure you’re giving him equal time. Otherwise, you’re going to bore him to the point he’ll ask you a question you’ll never forget: “Do you mind if I ask the waiter for his number?”

Imagine the stir if they had to change the name of the show to “The Ellen DeGeneres De Rossi Show”….

From The Associated Press:

The country’s largest lawyers’ group has backed a resolution calling on all state legislatures to let same-sex couples get married.

The American Bar Association voted at its annual meeting Tuesday in San Francisco to support the measure sponsored by the New York State Bar Association.

New York State Bar Association President Stephen P. Younger says the resolution passed overwhelmingly, with only one speaker voicing opposition during debate.

The ABA’s approval comes days after a federal judge in San Francisco struck down California’s voter-approved same-sex marriage ban. Younger says the timing of the ABA’s vote is a coincidence.

Manhunt (“Dick Central”) is letting non-members see your profile and pictures. Does this mean your employer can Google you and see that beaver shot you posed with? Yes, says Queerty, my fave gay website. No, says Manhunt, my fave gay dating site.

Both make excellent points. Decide for yourself here.

Romulo Arantes Neto, born in 1987, is a Brazilian actor and model, best known for playing the role of André on the Brazilian teen soap “Malhação.”

Now about that gay marriage thing….Two words: “I Do!”