Mike Bara's Ancient Aliens On Mars

Mike Bara Has Returned

2015-01-17T12:19:00.004-08:00

Hello my darlings.

I know it has been awhile since your Guru has posted on this my alternative blog.

I have been very busy making up shit and fudging facts for my latest book and have not found the time to post.

Fear not sweeties I will be posting on this blog very soon.

Love n Light and kisses your hero Mike B x x x x

Jose Escamilla

2012-10-04T07:29:00.001-07:00

This is Parody!

Oh my darlings, just wanted you to listen to a recording I made off the Radio last night of Jose Escamilla.
Click the link to listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nByhN_q7x4M

Jose sure is a very naughty boy.

Catch you laters my sweeties, Love n Light MB xoxoxox

NASA : Famous Astronomers want to rename the brightest Star in the northern hemisphere: Reuters reports

2012-10-02T22:52:00.002-07:00

"This is "Parody"!
The Star “Vega” the Brightest in the Northern Hemisphere is planned to be renamed “Bara” In honor of the World’s leading authority on anything he feels he is, Author and “Star” of Ancient Aliens and Moon Rising Mike Bara.

This could be the greatest thing in Astronomy since the down grading of the Planet Pluto and the “Higgs Boson God Particle”. Philip Cary Plait aka Bad Astrononmy

NASA publicly announced on their live TV feed and NASA’s Press Officer Rick Mason said “Yes we feel this is the only fitting tribute to Mike Bara after he brought us to task and highlighted all of NASA’s mistruths, lies and very poor scientific practices in the book “Dark Mission”” After making the statement he stood proud and silent as the unofficial NASA anthem was played, “Das Lied der Deutschen”, and a Nazi Swastika flag was unfurled behind him.

Bill Bryson the cuddly chubby faced amateur astronomer from Houston Texas said. “Houston we do not have a problem!” He broke into loud chortling laughter before proceeding with “I wish you and yours and Mike clear skies.” Bryson had first penned the idea to “Astronomer Weekly Magazine” The World’s oldest pier reviewed publication on Astronomy a few months ago. It was published in the magazine in the “Your Replies Section” and the momentum and positive feedback became an unstoppable force that lead us to approach first NASA and then other leading Astronomers. A spokesperson for the Magazine said.

Martin Rees, Baron Rees of Ludlow Britain’s Astronomer Royal said “I am humbled to be part of this most auspicious of occasions. Now can I get back to bed please it is 4 am here in the UK?”

Neil deGrasse Tyson, American astrophysicist and science communicator and Frederick P. Rose Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth and Space and a research had this to say ” I was so excited I wanted to go out into the street and grab someone and say have you heard this?” He also commented “The algebraic word النسر الواقع for this star means Bara anyway so only slight amendments would need to be made”.

A spokes lady Miss Jose Escamilla speaking on behalf of “The Cosmos Foundation” said “My only regret is that Carl Sagan is not alive to witness this”.

Other Space agencies around the World have yet to announce any opinion on it.

Richard C Hoagland that worked with Bara on the book Dark Mission and is the faux Science correspondent for Coast to Coast AM with George Noory said “Typical I did all the donkey work and this Ass gets all the glory”.

Mike Bara himself was said to be intoxicated by the news and at this time unable to comment.

Law of Attraction The Mantra of Ultimate Manifestation English and Arabic Version

2012-10-01T20:27:00.001-07:00

THIS IS PARODY!

Oh my lovely readers it has been a long day for your hero Mike B. It started off badly with that letter from the Ancient Aliens Jerk Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, but being the one and the ONLY Mike Bara I shook the thought of him off like a bad case of fleas. Then I meditated on my oneness with the Cosmos, or as I like to think of it Mike Bara plus one Guest.

My darlings you must learn the secrets of all things Bara. But how can we Mike if you do not lead us, do not show us the way? You all ask this don’t you in the darker moments of your lives. When frightened, scared, lonely and afraid. Well look to me look to your Guru. I am there right beside you. Your tiny fragile hand held warmly and firmly in mine. Don’t worry I won’t let you fall. Trust Mike, give yourself over to me. For my words and comfort are all you need. Yes, all you need. Turn away from false prophets like those people that wrote The Secret. They lie. Turn away from Ramtha, for that to is the Devil’s hand not mine. Abraham-Hicks, more blasphemers to your true path, and your ultimate destiny of fulfillment and total bliss.

The way to enchantment of your molecular, cellular vibration, to balance your inner harmonizing neurons can and only will be found with Mike Bara.

So find a comfortable place. A safe place to relax and let forth positive energy con-fluxes within your inner better you.

Ok first you must align your body exactly 19.5 Degrees from Magnetic Earth Polarconfidulations.

Now let us speak this my spiritualizing Mike Bara mantra.

The Bara Mantra of Ultimate Manifestation

Our Bara you are our savior

Your name is forever spoken

Angels sing no vow is broken

For Mike save us for you must
To Bara we give all our trust

The circle of love around us

As the stormy river flows
Is the love that Mike Bestows

Barmen

لدينا بارا كنت مخلصنا
يتحدث اسمك إلى الأبد
الملائكة لا تغني النذر مكسورة
لمايك ينقذنا لك يجب
لبارا نعطي بكل ما نملك من الثقة
دائرة الحب من حولنا
كما يتدفق النهر العاصف
هو الحب الذي يمنح مايك

Repeat this mantra 19 times. Or five if a lesser effectivism is needed.

So there you are my sweet devotees this mantra will combat all evil and give you inner peace.

Do not forget to buy my book The Choice as I have personally rubbed my most holy Bara juices into every fiber of ever page, and my soul reaches out to you from The Choice, with every letter and every word.

Love n light Mike Bara. xoxoxoxoxo

Ancient Aliens Star Giorgio A. Tsoukalos writes to a STAR Mike Bara

2012-10-01T04:23:00.002-07:00

THIS IS PARODY!

Oh loves, your beautiful Mike B got this in the mail today. Read it viewers and say it is not so, say it say it.

September 25 2012

Dear Mike Bara,

My attention was drawn to your blog page where the title heading states that you claim to be the STAR of Ancient Aliens H2 series.
Mike I hate to have to deflate this particular bubble, but as the assistant producer of Ancient Aliens and its main commentator it is I Giorgio A. Tsoukalos that is the STAR of the show.
For Heaven’s sake Mike with all due respect you do not even have the hair for the show. Look at my Einsteinen locks Mike. I clearly am sporting the “mad genius” look. Whereas you with your brushed forward look it speaks this to the viewer, “This guy does not even know a decent hairstylist, let alone an Ancient Alien”.This is quite frankly an embarrassment to the show. We only kept your segments in for padding, if we had found a way to cut you from the show completely we would have done.

I wanted you out but the producer Kevin Burns overruled me on that decision.

So Mike less of the STAR of the show, an“Appendage”, would be more fitting on your blog.

Work on the hair Mike. Plugs a Toupee, or even extensions and you could be going places like me.

Remember E= MC Haired!

Faithfully yours,

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos. The new Albert Einstein BSC AFF LLC ET AA.

What can your STAR say to that my wonderful readers? I will cry myself to sleep tonight.

But I must press on with my quest and with your money, I mean love readers Mike B will be a STAR!

Love n Light by the bucketful MB xoxoxoxox

Why I Dislike Jeff Ritzmann and Jeremy Vaeni And Paratopia

2012-09-29T22:53:00.002-07:00

This is Parody!

Hi my darlings Mike B here. I was just going through some old emails and found one from those two $hits at Paratopia.net.

I asked politely to be on their show and this is how they treated yours truly.

31 February 2012

Dear Mike,

Please stop sending me begging emails concerning being on the Paratopia podcast show. Jeff and I think you are a fraud and a Con-Artist. Not to mention being bald a sure sign of Ufolological improprieties.

We noticed that you have appeared with Sean David Morton a proven liar in court. Birds of a feather Mike, birds of a feather.

So without any further comment from Jeff and I It would be best if you just crawled back under the rock from which you sprang.

Hope this email finds you well and in good spirits,

The Paratopia Team.

Well darlings, what a way to talk to a STAR like me. I was shocked! I sent them 34 emails to my recollection, now that is hardly begging is it?

Sean David Morton as you know my lovely readers is a super man and Just because he makes things up does in no way mean he is a liar.

OOO I am so cross I almost kicked Mr Twinkle one of my new Cats. I know darlings not a Grey Alien Cat, just your regular tabby.

Well I just wanted my lovely fans to know how awful these no ones at Paratopia are. Also their show ended. Well good riddance to bad trash I say.

Love n Light and Blessing to all my true fans MB xoxoxoxoxoxo

The Choice, An Amazon Reviewer Writes, Damn Her Opinions

2012-09-29T18:28:00.002-07:00

This is an actual review of Mikes book.

1.0 out of 5 stars Who is the blithering idiot now Mike ?, July 24, 2012

Emmy "Emmy" (Santa Cruz, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Choice: Using Conscious Thought and Physics of the Mind to Reshape the World (Paperback)

I read this book on the recommendation of my son. He was laughing as he handed it to me, and, actually apologized for having me read it. But I was assured that as a retired physics teacher I would find it "amusing."

Ok, I can handle amusing. I can even handle funny. What I cannot handle is complete and utter rubbish being written about a subject I taught for 40 years.

I won't go into each error in the book. That has already been done well enough in the previous reader reviews. What I will say however is that Mike Bara should be thoroughly ashamed of himself. He must know that he is penning tripe. Is it possible that someone who does not understand the simple maths required to calculate the orbit of a satellite would be allowed to get away with writing an entire chapter about such, that is complete bunkum ?

Apparently so. The entire contents of chapter 12 are based on Mike's misunderstanding of orbital calculations. That is to say they must be measured from the center of the planet. Not the surface of the planet. It's such a disgraceful error I am shocked that it found it's way to print. Doesn't Mike have a technical editor ?

He should have. That would have saved him the huge embarrassment of being made look a fool. By the very people he despises.

Emmy

The following Reply is "Parody" in the style of Mike Bara

Well Thank you Emmy for posting that review on Amazon. I realize that I made a few errors in my book, but that is only because I do not have a clue what I am talking about. I just made it up as I went along. How else do you expect me to become a STAR if I do not have a list of books to form this foundation.

I just figured if I get my face known and do the rounds at UFO conferences people would buy my book on good faith that they would be getting some kind of hidden truth, or words of wisdom.

I on the other hand just want to make money from gullible people that buy into any old poop that self proclaimed experts like me write.

My bank and I thank you for your purchase... No refunds sorry.. if you read the small print it clearly says "sucker beware".

Love n Light and blessings MB

A Message To The STAR Of Ancient Aliens Mike Bara

2012-09-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

This is a copy of a message I sent to Mike Bara's Youtube Channel

Dear Mike.
I enclose a copy of the message you left on Facebook.

"Wow kind of a demented *ucktard do you have to be to create a site like this, much less link to it?"

Amazing grammar, and language there Mike and I laugh, you call yourself a writer?
I see with the use of the non-word "*ucktard", and I am taking a wild guess here that you and Jose Escamilla went to the same finishing school? You might have to look that one up Mike.

I really do expect a far superior retort from you Mike.
If you notice on the top of each post on the Blog it says the words "This is Parody". If you are not sure what the word means can I suggest finding a book called a Dictionary? This will help you greatly in your search for words and their meanings.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. "Michael Corleone" The Godfather Part II
Blocking me is unwise Mike as now you cannot see what I am posting. I on the other hand have my eyes on your Facebook. And Youtube Channel.

But above all Mike, take a lesson from The Choice and be more Zen about it all, Manifest and laugh at yourself. I am sorry you find that impossible to do. If you learned to laugh more you might actually find what we write or post up as videos actually funny. Just imagine a genuine smile on your face... Manifest it Mike, the Choice is yours.

Richard M Doland Never Answers My Telephone Calls

2012-09-29T12:16:00.001-07:00

This is Parody!

I do not understand it. I have left voice message after voice message, and countless emails, but Dick Doland never replies.

I have a brilliant, fantastic, amazing, even if I do say so myself Idea for a new book and I think a sure winner for the History Channel. I call it After, After Disclosure.

ADD as I want to title it is about once the World Governments have admitted we have an Alien presence and the Aliens have now finished their task here on Earth. All the cloning has been finished and all the mining of precious ores and minerals, all the plant life collected, and all the Animal life (mainly Cows) DNA has been cored, sampled stored collected. So now the Aliens have said their goodbyes to all the really important leaders (meaning nor you or I), they have now departed back to whence they came. This is particularly annoying to me as I consider myself among the most important of people and I never received a Memo or even a visit from the MIB.

So now that everyone knows about the Aliens what do we Ufologist’s do now? I would have to go back to being an ordinary person not the GOD of Ufology as I am currently, but return to working for a construction company making Housing Projects for those disgusting poor people again. Richard would probably do the TV news and chat show circuit for a while with “I told you so!”, but that would fade and he would have to return to his life of writing resumes for other people. David Wilcock would probably be lynched and hung from a tree for all the BS he has been spouting for over a decade. Richard C Hoagland, well he will carry on about Death Rays and the World Trade Center, and endless appearances on Coast 2 Coast now hosted by Professor Richard Dawkings, who would laugh, smirk and ridicule ever tiny aspect of Richards’s fake science. What no George Noory! Yes he would still be on from time to time as a guest host slot in a special segment called “Yes crazy people, your turn to call in.” So no real change there in a certain sense.

The minor Ufologists, which form a list far too long. They most probably will just in the metaphorical sense jump off something high on to something very hard.

Well as you can see ADD has endless possibilities for twists and turns and if again I do say so myself another chance for Richard M and myself to make a final cash in on the UFO subject.

Richard M Doland, please call me back our future destiny awaits.

Love n Light MD xoxoxoxo

Ufologists, Are We All Liars?

2012-09-28T15:10:00.001-07:00

This is Parody!

As I ooze myself into my tight leather jacket my conscience troubled me. Why do so many in the field of Ufology just make stuff up? I want to be a star of course, but this can not be all about me, what about the other people I hang around with. Now I know that Richard C Hoagland just has verbal diarrhea and loves the sound of his own voice so that probably explains his motives for an over active imagination. Well you can imagine the verbal masturbation we had together as we pretended to collaborate on Dark Mission. Richard thought me being some kind of Engineer would give the book a certain gravitas. I kept my pretty mouth shut for most of the time and just pressed the record button on my Dictaphone and let Richard ramble on about angles, faces, Nazis, Glass domes, and something about R2D2 from Star Trek. Apparently Richard was convinced Gene Rodenbury was in league with George Lecas and some builder types. Masons Richard called them.

To be honest I was glad when I finally got him into a taxi and out of my squalid apartment. Imagine my surprise when I woke up one morning with a Hooker and the phone was bleeping. " Mikey baby, it's Dickey C, we are on the NYT best seller list". I wiped the drool from my mouth and asked the lady of the night to leave. It was only an hour after she left that I realized she had stolen my wallet like I had stolen all the Law of Attraction ideas and made my own book The Choices.

Well So why do Ufologists tell big fibbings? Well for the money and the attention. We are basically all a bunch of loser nobodies that seized our chance for some cash and notoriety on the UFO conference circuit or circus as we in the know call it.

Well have to leave it here for now that Cassidy bitch from Camel project is on the phone. Apparently they are running out of people to interview that can come across half convincing on camera. She knows I can keep a straight face even when making the most wildest of claims...

I was on Coast .to Coast the other night. I will give you the inside of that farce later.

Well goodbye for now my darlings.. love n light and blessings from the Velussian Angels MB xoxoxox

Does Ufology Make You Bald?

2012-09-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

This is Parody!

I have recently been looking at myself for hours in my bathroom mirror. Although I am obviously overweight I am still gorgeous.But even though I know I am wonderful I am noticing more and more the loss of hair to my wonderful cranium. The beard does help keep the viewers eye more to my lovely face than my head.

It does seem to me that the more interest I show in Ufology the less hair I have... Well look at Dr Steven Greer and Steven Bassett. Both heavy hitters in Ufology and both as barren as the surface of the Moon.

I also wonder if the Alien cats are stealing my hair in the middle of the night using remote preening. OMG I need to wear an anti Cat Hat. The grey cats, or just the Greys as they are known are probably the worst. Archons I think John Lash calls them. Gnostic Alien Archon Cats.

Watch out for the Gnostic Alien Archon Cats my dear dear friends. They will stop at nothing to get human hair. They are using sky elevators from the Moon to the North Pole where their UFOs are double parked, and into the night sky for hair abductions.

Stay safe love n light MB xoxoxox

Alien Cats On The Moon

2012-09-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

This is parody!

Hi Mike here,
Just wanted to let all my super wonderful brilliant fans that I have a video up on Disclose TV.
Hope you like? Big Hugs n Kisses to you all, Mike Bara.

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/112864/MIKE_BARA__DARK_MISSION__ANCIENT_ALIENS_ON_THE_MOON__NOW_SEES_ET_CATS_AND_ALIEN_PENISES/