Mike Bonem

Just Be Still

Mike Bonem — Sat, 10 Jan 2026 06:00:00 +0000

Is stillness on your bingo card of New Year’s resolutions/goals/intentions? It wouldn’t have been on mine if Tish Harrison Warren had not gotten my attention:

When I feel the emptiness – the loneliness, meaninglessness, futility, and loss – present even in my very good life, I rush to fill it. Winds of emptiness echo in a hollow moment of my day, and I run to distraction. … Advent recalls that the emptiness in the world and our own lives can’t be sated with hurry, buying power, social media likes, fame, success, politics, or even religiosity. We wait with Mary, with Elizabeth, with all of creation, for our emptiness to be filled (Advent).

Even though this is written for Advent, she’s addressing a year-round issue. When is the last time you were still and quiet without reaching for the endless distraction devices that sit in our pockets or at our fingertips? We may think we’re being productive, but often we’re just trying to fill emptiness.

While our devices, and even our distractions, have a place in our lives, they often deprive us of something vital: time for reflection. God uses quiet moments of reflection to generate new insights. And those insights can propel us to make important shifts in our thinking and our behavior. If you don’t believe this, think about the many biblical figures who heard from God once they were still, or the familiar words of Psalm 46:10 (“Be still and know that I am God.”)

You may think stillness means silent retreats or “days apart.” These are valuable, but the good news is that embracing stillness doesn’t require more time in our busy schedules. It just requires changing what we do with the time we have. We can leave the phone in our pockets while standing in a checkout line. We can drive or workout without listening to a podcast or music. We can take a short walk outdoors in between meetings or tasks.

I know that most resolutions are broken before the end of January. But if you allow yourself the luxury of stillness, you may find God filling the emptiness and realize that you don’t want to live without it.

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Get Rid of Your Yardstick

Mike Bonem — Mon, 05 Jan 2026 20:32:13 +0000

You’ve probably heard the expression, “The shortest distance from A to B is a straight line.” While this statement is true in geometry, it’s a dangerous principle for leadership.

One of a leader’s primary jobs is to collaborate with others to set their organization’s future direction and to establish priorities and plans accordingly. Those plans almost always look like the straight line from A to B. “We will do this and will achieve that.” We pull out the proverbial yardstick to chart the course.

The reality, however, often looks more like a toddler’s dabbling with a crayon than an architect’s precise drawings. We start down the path from A to B, but we encounter obstacles and have to make adjustments. Our initial activities generate insights that cause us to adjust plans. We need to adjust the timeline because we didn’t provide enough resources.

Imagine that you’re redesigning the way spiritual formation is done in your church. You’re excited about the plans, which include several new offerings that will help people deepen their faith. But then the leader of the class on “understanding the Bible” has a family emergency and has to step away. And you receive feedback that the new spiritual mentoring program is falling short of its goal. You’re confident that the ultimate goal is right for your church, so you revise your plans in light of the new realities and press ahead.

It is not possible for leaders to anticipate all the twists and turns that will occur in going from A to B. The leader’s job is not to create a perfect plan. Rather, leaders demonstrate their mettle in the ways that they adapt when things are not going as planned. Deciding when and how to adjust to surprises is the essence of leadership. And that is not possible if you’re holding tightly to your yardstick or your plans.

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Compare Less, Soar More

Mike Bonem — Tue, 14 Oct 2025 22:01:19 +0000

Have you ever watched a bird soaring high in the air, gliding effortlessly on the updrafts in the mountains. If you have, you may have thought, “I wish I could be that bird. It must be great to be so free, for life to be so easy.” That was my initial thought when I observed a similar scene this summer. But that thought was followed by a second one: Do I really know that this bird’s life is easy? In truth, its gliding may just be an efficient moment in a never-ending quest to find food to live on.

As leaders prepare for the start of a new ministry year, it’s easy to see someone else’s context and wish you could trade places. Their situation seems so much easier or less stressful. Certainly some contexts are more difficult than others. But every church or ministry setting brings its unique challenges. Just like the bird I saw flying high in the sky, what we see of others is a distant and incomplete picture. That “successful” church down the street may be struggling with staff turnover or tight finances or key members who are unhappy.

Wishing to be a bird – or to trade places with another ministry leader – is not a productive use of our time. It’s far better to make the decision to “bloom where we are planted.” Galatians 6:9 says it this way: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up.”

How would your mindset change if you adopted this verse as your mantra this fall? If you truly believed that you’re exactly where God wants you to be in this season? We don’t know how long the season will last or what the harvest will be, but we can be confident that God, who provides for the bird flying high in the sky, loves us deeply and will provide for us as well. That should be all the encouragement we need to soar in our leadership.

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The Leadership Authority Bind

Mike Bonem — Tue, 22 Oct 2024 08:15:00 +0000

“We want a strong leader.” I’ve heard this statement countless times from churches as they describe the characteristics they want in their next pastor. (The same is true for other ministries.) I believe this statement is well-intentioned and often misleading.

Many pastors and ministry leader, as they step into the role, hear this statement as a call for bold direction and action. They make significant changes or launch new initiatives or reorganize staff responsibilities, because they believe these are the right steps. But they often run into problems. Why? Weren’t they fulfilling their mandate?

When churches ask for a “strong leader,” the underlying request often means:

We want someone to right the ship without rocking the boat. This call for leadership is really a call for a savior to reverse a decline or address a crisis. It assumes the pastor can produce a silver bullet solution that doesn’t require painful changes.
We’re jealous of the “successful” church down the street. Every community has at least one church that seems to be thriving. That church has a great reputation and is growing rapidly, and is often led by a high profile, charismatic pastor. They are attracting unchurched people and people from your church. Like the ancient Israelites, your church may be saying, “We want a king like our neighboring countries.”
We want someone who will support our priorities. This version is most common in a divided church where different groups have competing ideas on how to move forward. Each faction is looking for a leader who is a combination of a puppet that they can manipulate and a military commander who charges into battle on their behalf.

So how should you respond if your church says they want a “strong leader”? Forging ahead with reckless abandon is clearly not the answer. Nor should you abdicate leadership or assume those making the request are not trustworthy. A better approach is to:

Ask what “strong leader” means to them. A thoughtful conversation may unearth one of the three meanings described above or a different one altogether. It may also give you insights into the constraints you are likely to face.
Build a strong leadership team. Even if the church genuinely desires someone to provide bold direction, you’ll make better decisions and accomplish more if you share the leadership mantle with a team.
Listen for the congregation’s hurts and hopes. The three unspoken requests listed above have a common denominator: pain. Digging deeper than the initial request for strong leadership will uncover the real issues that can inform your leadership approach.
Deepen your spiritual disciplines. Another common thread in the three requests is the emphasis on a single person solving all the church’s problems. This poses a threat to a leader’s soul. Positive outcomes can inflate your ego, and negative ones can cause despair. In either case, a vibrant spiritual life is the best protection against these risks.

A church may want a “strong leader,” but they need one whose wise discernment gets beneath these words to help them discover a path toward God’s preferred future.

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Planning for the Future: Avoid These 4 Obstacles

Mike Bonem — Mon, 19 Aug 2024 09:52:00 +0000

When I help churches and ministries discern plans for the future, I often say, “The answer is in the room.” What I mean is that the people on the planning team – the ones who are “in the room” – know their church’s strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities. They are highly committed leaders who have hopes and dreams for the ministry. So the “answer” should emerge from their conversations around these topics.

And yet, leadership teams sometimes struggle to develop plans that will truly move a church forward. I still believe that the answer should be in the room, but I also recognize several obstacles that get in the way:

Not listening to the Spirit. God’s presence, which is promised when 2 or 3 are gathered (Matthew 18:20), is essential to discerning the best path forward. But teams must be intentional about listening for the Spirit’s guidance. Ministry planning that is indistinguishable from corporate planning will miss the answer.
Inviting the wrong people. Discernment processes can easily be derailed by a few people. Individuals who are not spiritually mature, too tied to the past, or afraid of change can squelch a team’s dreaming. The best teams have a wide representation of perspectives and gifts. They don’t automatically include the person who has “always” been in leadership unless that person can make a genuine contribution.
Deferring too much to the pastor. A pastor (or the leader of a ministry) has a unique role in discerning future direction for the church. Unique, but not exclusive. Important decisions on how to move forward require the collective wisdom of a leadership team that is prayerfully seeking God’s will. Allowing the pastor to unilaterally set priorities ignores the gifts and insights of others in the room.
Lacking outside perspective. It’s wonderful to have highly engaged people on a discernment team, but they can also be a constraint. They often spend so much time inside the ministry that they’re unaware of the external context. The best teams include people with fresh eyes and engage in learning experiences that expand their understanding of their mission field.

Whether you are planning are for a specific event or for your entire church, today’s ministry context demands boldness, not minor tweaks to the status quo. None of these obstacles will prevent you from planning. But when the work only produces incremental changes, these factors are often to blame.

The four obstacles are not trivial, but the good news is that they are not insurmountable. You can create space in a discernment process to listen to God. You can be intentional about who is on the team and how they learn together. You can resist the temptation to offer an answer when someone asks, “Pastor, what do you think?” And as you do so, you may discover that the answer does emerge from within the room.

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Cooperation or Competition?

Mike Bonem — Wed, 10 Jul 2024 05:00:00 +0000

The favorite pastime for one of our sons is playing board games. My previous universe of board games was small – Monopoly, Risk, and others from my childhood. Our son changed that with his extensive and ever growing collection. Along the way, he introduced me to an entire category that was new to me: cooperative games. As the name implies, all the participants in these games are on the same team, working together to overcome an external challenge.

Before playing my first cooperative game, my reaction was, “This won’t be very fun.” In my mind, the enjoyment was in trying to outmaneuver my fellow players so that I could come out on top. It turns out I was wrong. A cooperative game can be just as enjoyable as a competitive one (and without the risk of hurt feelings!)

Far too often, we approach ministry more as a competitive endeavor rather than a cooperative one. Rather than focusing on the opportunities to support families, the children’s and youth ministries vie for spots on the calendar or the prime communication channels. Rather than partnering to share the gospel and transform the community, we treat the church down the street as an enemy.

I get it. I’ve been competing all of my life. It seems like the very air we breathe pushes us toward individualism, not cooperation. But pause to think about the benefits of a more collaborative approach. In the earlier examples and many others, it’s clear that greater Kingdom impact occurs when people work together.

How could you foster greater collaboration in your church or ministry?

Pay attention to language. You may be surprised at how frequently comments imply competition, either within your church or with other churches/ministries. Be intentional to use phrases that emphasize cooperation, and challenge others when they use combative terminology.
Seek opportunities for cooperation. Collaboration is like a muscle – it will only be strengthened through use. So plan a family event rather than separate ones for children and youth. If possible, lead the way by collaborating on something in which you’re directly involved.
Shine the spotlight on collaboration. People pay attention to what is rewarded and celebrated. Whenever you see effective collaboration occurring, call attention to it.

Paul warns that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but … against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Eph. 6:12). We are facing intense competition, but it’s not the colleagues on our staff or the church down the street. How can you win by adopting a more cooperative posture in your ministry?

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Leading High Capacity Leaders

Mike Bonem — Fri, 21 Jun 2024 16:54:30 +0000

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’” “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. (Mark 10:17-22, NIV)

You have undoubtedly preached on, studied, or heard sermons about this passage many times. I wonder, however, if you’ve considered the story of the “rich young man” through a leadership development lens.

The membership of most churches includes people whose leadership abilities or wealth greatly exceed that of their pastor. These women and men have the potential to make substantial contributions, and not just financial, to the well-being of a church. But pastors are often unsure how to relate to them.

This familiar story offers four important insights:

The man “ran up to [Jesus] and fell on his knees before him.” We often think that “successful” people have it all together and don’t have any needs. This couldn’t be further from the truth – they just have different needs and may have learned to keep them hidden. The man in the story reveals a desperation and hunger, something that lies just beneath the surface for many of the successful people in our congregations.
“Jesus looked at him and loved him.” Some ministry leaders have an unconscious (or conscious) resentment or even disdain toward successful people. They may be seen as not giving enough to the church, being out of touch with the plight of normal people, or making fame and fortune their gods. Jesus saw a struggling human being, a child of his Father, and loved him. The rest of Jesus’s response flowed out of that love.
Jesus spoke truth to him. The man said that he had kept the commandments since he was a boy. Today’s equivalent would be someone who said, “I tithe, come to worship whenever I’m in town, live a clean life, and volunteer in a ministry.” So how would you respond? Many pastors today, not wanting to offend a high-capacity leader, would say, “That’s great. Keep it up. Maybe you can add a spiritual discipline as a next step.” Jesus went straight to the heart and spoke the hard truth to the man.
Jesus didn’t run after him. After sharing the truth in love, Jesus allowed the man to make his decision. Jesus didn’t seem concerned about being “rejected” or losing the potential support of a wealthy follower. He trusted that God would send the right people at the right time with the right resources for the work that needed to be done. Sometimes a high-capacity person is God’s gift to your church; at other times you need to let them leave.

How might your ministry change if you related to successful individuals like Jesus did in this story?

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Knowing When to Keep Going … and When to Stop

Mike Bonem — Mon, 12 Feb 2024 07:50:00 +0000

My regular place to run is a 3-mile dirt path around a college campus. It keeps me off the pavement (good for my knees) and out of traffic (good for everything else!) The only problem is that the path is topped with very small rocks, and a few of them inevitably end up in my shoes. On almost every run, I have to decide whether to keep going or stop and remove a rock.

Leaders encounter a variety of “rocks” as they pursue the vision to which God has called them and their churches or ministries – an angry church member, a discouraged staff person, a lack of support for a new initiative, an unsettled feeling in their own soul. And just like my running, leaders have to decide what to do about these rocks.

How do you decide when to stop and when to keep pressing ahead? When I’m running, the decision is easy. If a rock is small and just a nuisance, I keep going. If it is actually painful, I stop and remove it. In the latter case, ignoring the rock would cause me to alter my stride and could result in an injury.

For ministry leaders, the decision may not be as simple, but the same principles are applicable. When you encounter a “rock,” ask yourself:

How big is the rock? I shouldn’t let my run be derailed by every tiny rock, nor should your leadership be sidetracked by every small obstacle. The key is determining the size and seriousness of the obstacle. One loud complainer makes more noise than many grumblers, but the latter is more concerning.
What are your options? When running, I can either stop to remove the rock or keep going. In leadership, you have many more options. Each option has a cost: the time you and others might spend addressing a problem, what may happen if you ignore it, and time that is not available to focus on other priorities. These costs should be weighed against the benefits of each option.
Am I confident in my assessment? Determining the size and consequences of a leadership obstacle can be difficult, especially if it feels like a personal attack. In these moments, other trusted leaders can offer valuable perspectives on your assessment of the situation.
What might God be saying to me in this moment? Even though my general advice is to ignore small rocks, there is an important exception. God often speaks to us in a quiet voice or seemingly minor circumstances. (Consider Samuel in 1 Samuel 3:1-14 or Elijah in 1 Kings 19:11-18.) When you encounter leadership rocks, whether large or small, pause long enough to ask, “God, is there something you want me to hear from you in this moment?”

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7 Questions for Healthy Oversight

Mike Bonem — Wed, 15 Nov 2023 03:59:54 +0000

Every church has some form of governance (at least on paper), but the practices of “oversight” vary widely. Oversight has existed in various forms since the beginning of the church. But in many cases today, the oversight function is dysfunctional. It can be non-existent or heavy-handed or just confusing.

Having meaningful performance conversations is a central oversight responsibility of the “board” (elders, governance team, personnel committee, etc.) It is also a vital task for the senior pastor and/or executive pastor in a multi-staff church. Rather than treating this as a dreaded assignment, those providing oversight should view the work as an opportunity to partner with the pastor and other leaders for their support and growth.

How can oversight be done as a healthy partnership? These seven questions can create a rich dialogue that moves well beyond a typical “performance review”:

How is your walk with God? This is the most important question for a ministry leader. If their spiritual life is not vibrant, they cannot lead effectively.
How is your marriage, family, and personal life? Ministry leaders should not be expected to sacrifice their families and their well-being for the church.
What is your self-assessment of your leadership over the last year – positives and areas for growth? Leaders usually have a good idea of where they have and haven’t performed well. In fact, they are often too critical. Self-assessment is a starting point, after which overseers can add other observations as needed.
What is one way in which you want to grow as a leader in the coming year? This is a natural follow-up to the previous question. It starts with the leader and leaves room for input from overseers.
What do you believe the church most needs in the coming year? The church’s priorities for the coming year should ultimately be a major conversation with the entire board. But in the context of oversight, this question leads to an important discussion about individual priorities.
What is your role in addressing these needs? Not all organizational priorities require hands-on involvement from the senior leader(s). Individual priorities or goals should be clear for each leader.
How can we best support you? If the goal is a healthy ministry partnership, then asking this question, and following through on the resulting commitments, is essential.

Pause for a minute to reflect on these seven questions. What difference would this approach make in your oversight conversations? How would the last four, forward-looking questions set the stage for fruitful ministry and meaningful oversight in the future?

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Stretching Toward Adaptability

Mike Bonem — Thu, 28 Sep 2023 09:26:00 +0000

What characteristics are most valuable for a leader? Scores of leadership books offer lists with the 5 or 7 or 10 (but never 11 or 13) attributes that successful leaders must develop. How often have you seen “adaptability’ on one of these lists? Not often enough.

Adaptability is essential for any leader, and especially for ministry leaders today. Adaptability is what enables you to make quick course corrections when a new initiative is not producing the desired outcomes. It is the ability to receive, process, and act on new information that challenges your long-held assumptions. It allows you to respond to unexpected (and sometimes unreasonable) demands without losing sight of your church’s mission.

“Flexibility” is sometimes used as a synonym for adaptability. But this alternate word can become an excuse. “I’m just an inflexible person” suggests an inherent trait that can’t be changed. Physically, I am not very flexible. (Don’t ask me to touch my toes!) But I know this condition can be addressed with stretching or yoga. My physical inflexibility has little to do with how I was born, and everything to do with how I spend my time.

Leadership adaptability is similar. So what is the equivalent of stretching or yoga for a leader? The key is to ask questions and learn continuously. When something doesn’t go as expected, leaders who are stretching to be more adaptable ask “why?” and “what can we learn from this experience?” And when something goes well, they ask the same questions.

Asking and learning requires an honest and rigorous assessment of results. It cannot happen without time for reflection. It is usually most meaningful in a small, safe group where others can wrestle with these questions. It calls for a posture of humility, not claiming to know all the answers. And it requires an openness to hear the quiet whisper of the Spirit.

How could these practices help you stretch toward greater adaptability and more effective leadership?

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