It’s spring in Seattle. That means I’m looking out my office window looking at rain. We have had reasonable weather here, but it’s still wetter than dry. In Celebration of May book giveaway is so on. As the end of the month approaches I’ve joined in with a Kindle Promotion to give away as many copies of “The Athlete within You” as I can. The book “Kindle Version of course) is available directly from Amazon for the next  4 days. Just pass on the message so we can reach more athletes. Amazon.com Follow the amazon link directly to the site. Offer ends May 26, 2013

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Welcome to The Athlete within You blog site. Is this your first time? I trust it won’t be your last and you will find these posts informative, entertaining at times and useful to you as you train for sports and life.  I hope that as a first time of recent visitor that you will take the tour and check out more posts. It would be even cooler if you would share them with others. My intent is to reach as many as possible. I want people to know that mental training is for everyone.

This site is all about mental training and how it helps you reach peak performance in sports and business. Many of the stories or antidotes are meant to give you a sense of understanding, that being an athlete is so much more than physical training. Certainly it is my belief that mental training is not a luxury, it is an essential – necessity. Sprinkled throughout these 100 or so posts are suggestions and exercises for mental training I have used over the last three decades to help athletes reach the highest levels in sports. I am pleased that some have made it to the world stage and even taken how the big prize. I perhaps get more satisfaction from the athletes who have moved up to the college level able to pursue their love of the game and a college education. If you read the story about my father (an elementary school teacher) , you’ll understand that I appreciate now the impact I have had on the lives of others. There have been over 2000. I wish I had stayed in better contact with them. I do hear from some even 30 years later. I may feel that way because it is so much easier for us to connect today via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. I love how email and Skype has made communication so much easier.

Just a bit about me as you can find that easily in other places.

Ceremonial Puck Drop prior to Stampede vs Weber State Game

My name is Mike Margolies. (that’s me dropping the puck)  I am a Certified Mental Trainer®, Sport Psychology Consultant, former college and professional athlete (I had a sip of coffee). I’ve trained athletes for 35 years or so. I am an author. Yes my book is called The Athlete within You. It is available through Amazon and other booksellers. It is available as a Kindle too. The best way to get a copy is through my website (autographed of course).  Speaking of which, if you would like to know more about mental training and sport psychology please follow the link directly to The Mental Game..

As I said if this is your first time, please take us for a spin. I am confident you will find something you like. I would love it if you would start a conversation. I can learn as much from you as you are willing to share. Good bye for now. Don’t be a stranger.

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Sports metaphors infuse the language of business. I bring this up because of some recent meetings with corporations. My approach to these corporations has been that mental training will help their employees (athletes) perform at a higher level. The reply was that while they believed in the concept, there doubt was that someone from the sports world could communicate with many of their highly technical employee’s (geeks and nerds).

My answer was a smile. At first I subtly changed the subject to the Seattle Sounders FC because I had noticed something in this directors office that lead me to believe he was a Sounders fan. He explained that while he was a fan, not all of his team understood soccer, football or baseball. at this point I started interjecting, I hoped with some semblance of being shrewd, the language of business.

I started asking about departmental issues. Where were projects off base. He had he said some team issue, not everyone was playing ball. He had to make some judgement calls about personnel soon. Dealing with such a diverse workforce meant working with some people that were just out in left field.  I said exactly, he said WHAT?

Here’s my pitch. You and your staff are immersed in the language of business and much of this involves sport metaphors. We can’t help but use it as it is so entrenched in our lexicon  He stared at me still not getting that he had used 4 sports metaphors already. I asked him if he was ready for a curve ball. He said sure and at that he had an aha type of moment. now of course I had been slipping in metaphors into the conversation throughout the meeting and he began to understand more of what I was driving at.

If our language of business was so ripe with sports metaphors, wasn’t the very nature of the way his business unit ran. First he refers to his unit as a team. Then he mentions at another point that they don’t always play well together. His sales team was doing well in that they were hitting nearly 400, but a few were not ready for the major leagues.

I brought him back to his point that his team of geeks and nerds would not understand my mental training and team building exercises because of our language barrier.  We discussed emotional intelligence and team building. I demonstrated how these construct fit his business and how important they were to his success. I talked to him about the ways that athlete set goals and how this variation in goals setting would make so much more sense to his team that some more traditional techniques. I guess I hit it out of the park as he conceded the point and I now have an opportunity to train some very interesting people who think they know nothing about sports but are about to discover the athlete within. To learn more about my business programs please follow the link to The Mental Game Team Building page.

The montage below is one I created with my iPhone and Photoshop of course. The signs are on the parking structure just south of Safeco Field where the Seattle Mariners play. It is an art project by Donald Fels called Six Pitches. Note his plaque on the bottom right corner.  Yes if you are counting I left off Knuckleball. In sports and business we sometimes deal with knuckleheads, but I thought I would leave that out of my presentation.

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A while back I wrote a post on shame. It is one of the areas that we rarely address in sports. It got a lot of hits back when I originally posted it. It was uploaded to a site in the UK this month for a new audience and again it’s garnered a good deal of attention. I thought perhaps I would talk about a few exercises people can use to get over issues were they feel shame. For some it is a feeling of failure associated with letting team or family down by not performing to their own or others expectations. In many ways it is associated with fear of failure. In other ways it goes perhaps deeper. Shame affects confidence, motivation and so much more. From an emotional intelligence point of view, along with guilt, it is certainly one of our more useless emotions. Please keep in mind, as usual; I am not talking about people who have really deep seated issues, as I only work with healthy people. There are times when we all have trouble dealing with something however, and these exercises can help.

Using CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy type exercises can help athletes reduce this feeling and perform at higher levels. Some are very simple. Some will take a bit of work. Some come from what are known as Shame Attacking exercises.

My new favorite one however comes from Clown School. Don’t discount this technique because of its unusual origins.  I picked this one up from a friend, Leif Hansen,  who runs a group called Spark Interactions [ SPARK ]. A lot of what Leif helps people do is re-learn how to play through interactive activities. A good deal of which is Improv.   I’ve attended 4 of his clinics, always interested in new growth activities for myself and those I work with. It was Leif who talked about Clown School. I love this one as in part it helps people deal with failure in a way completely removing shame.

Clown Redemption (my name not his).

In clown school when a clown makes a mistake in a routine instead of apologizing or telling everyone they are sorry for their mistake clowns are taught to do something very different. After making an error, instead of saying sorry, the clown takes an exaggerated bow and says in a loud voice, Thank You Very Much with a smile. Taking credit for their mistake and rejoicing in the opportunity to learn something from their mistake. Athletes drive me crazy with the two-word apology I hear so often, “MY BAD”.  What the athlete is stating is I made a mistake; I do take responsibility for it. But it is also an acknowledgement that there was something bad in their behavior. This can reinforce feelings of shame, rather than the idea that failure leads to learning and ultimate growth / success. I think if more people would bow and say thank you very much, they would overcome so many inhibitions.

Shame attacking Type Exercises:

The idea here is to do some things which make you very uncomfortable in public some can be done in private too. By choosing small steps in behavior change people come to understand that the consequences they were so afraid of, only exist in their own minds. Understanding this on a real level allows a person to be more comfortable in their own skin. Trying new things that allows them to realize that their shame or embarrassment is not real.  So here are a few non sport exercises to help you understand their impact. You can try them yourself as of course there are no consequences.

The basics are to do something that makes you feel foolish and uncomfortable.

- Start dancing as you walk through a store

- Start laughing while waiting in a line

- Sing while you are waiting in a line

- Tell a random stranger that is in line by you that you didn’t take a shower today.

- Ask a random girl/guy passing by if they would want to do something later

- When you are in a store start running frantically while looking behind you as if something were chasing you.

- Make funny faces to people who are stopped beside you in traffic

In sports it could be something as simple as these.

- Something as ridiculous as trying to kick a soccer ball and falling down on purpose

- During practice make odd faces

- Ask a really stupid question of a team-mate or coach

- Make a funny noise while catching a ball

- Smile during practice – assuming you are one who believes you must wear a game face

Now these are just a few simple things and I’d love some comments back on Shame Attacking ideas in sports. I’ve got some others I’m holding back because I want some creative ideas not variations. You might notice that all of the things I’ve listed are common behaviors at most every practice. But not for everyone. If you were to say to yourself I would never do that, maybe you should.

So if we enter my world of sport and we observe athletes held up by their anxiety and as we lift the veil and help them cope with their sports anxieties and still something is missing, we may need to understand their greatest fear.  I often ask the question, “What is your greatest fear?”  Maybe it is the wrong question.  What is it that makes you feel shame?  Can you talk about it?  We tell people not to put their self-worth in a sport outcome or result.  What if they do that because somewhere along the way, instead of finding joy in sports, they found shame?

If this post fails to help you understand how to help yourself or someone else then I failed to explain it well.  All I can say to that then is:

Thank You Very Much (with a bow of course)

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Since 1983 my practice has been called Sport Psychology Consultants. Not very creative, but back then it seemed to fit what I wanted to do.

In 2009 when I transitioned into the current century and built a website, my practice became, Sport Psychology Consultants @The Mental Game.com

For the last few weeks I have been posting about how mental training needs to be thought of as a necessity and not a luxury. I even wrote about how those of us who are applied sport psychology consultants are in fact part of the problem. I started talking about using mental trainer instead of sport psychology consultant.

Last week traveling with a friend we were discussing business and I had an epiphany. We were discussing my blog posts and it occurred to me that I was being hypocritical (well maybe not hypocritical, but perhaps stubborn). I was referring to an applied sport psychology consultant as a mental trainer, then how can I keep referring to my practice as Sport Psychology Consultants. Why not do business as The Mental Game?

So here I am making the paradigm shift. Back in the late 70′s I was considered a Sport Psychologist and my practice was Inner Sports. 1983 rolls around and it changes. I was a Sport Psychology Consultant doing business as Sport Psychology Consultants. Brilliant!  Ha. So beginning this March I am a Mental Trainer and the practice is called The Mental Game. Website is being changed. Logo being worked on. Will it make a difference? Will this help bring about a change in the way people think about sport psychology? I hope so. I so desperately want athletes and coaches to understand that we who have studied sport psychology and utilize this science, applying it to educate athletes, coaches and others to discover something within themselves to achieve more want to be part of mainstream sports. We are no different than the other sport sciences which make up this marvelous thing we call sports. It has always been my contention that if you want the world to change, it has to start with you.

So here I am. Mike Margolies, an applied sport psychology something or other for 35 years changing the way he does business. Welcome to the Future!

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I have a new friend. We met on LinkedIn. He does Meta-analysis in sport. I’ve not really delved into what that means. He was born in the old Soviet Union and now resides in Israel. In one of our first conversations he said he knew many sports psychologists both in his days in the USSR and now in Israel. He said they are all poor. A curious statement to be sure. He felt the major issues revolved around who the Sport Psychology person worked for. If they work for the team, then how does the athlete trust them? The athlete might reveal something which could get them benched, if the SPC told the staff. If they work for the athlete, how does the  manager or coach trust that they are getting the correct information about the athlete’s state of mind. Trust on both sides has been an issue as long as I can remember. I’ve talked and written about this for years. My answer was always about integration of mental training into the team. Sport Psychology Consultant is there all of the time. They become part of the scene. My new friend’s statement got me thinking. Maybe the issue is not all a team issue, maybe it’s our issue too.

It is time we shift gears or paradigms, even if it means having to do so with a bit of humility (something I often discuss with athletes). If sport psychology was equal to other sport sciences, then a lot of our issues would go away. This is what I mean. If a football player needs more strength, the exercise physiology team with strength and conditioning people tell the athlete and the coaching staff what the player needs to do to perform at the next level. If the athlete has too much fat, a nutritionist tells the athlete and coaches the player needs to eat differently. If a quarterback has a poor throwing motion a bio-mechanics expert might go to the staff and suggest ways to fix it. Unless of course it’s Tebow, then nothing will help apparently.

When sport psychology notices a flaw in a player’s arsenal, be it stress, confidence or focus, we can only talk with the player behind closed doors. Why? Glad you asked. Because we still think of ourselves as psychologists. We are enamored with our pedigree. We talk about teaching skills, but will not allow that we are sport scientists, teachers and coaches. We teach athletes to have confidence, to get over blocks, to cope with stress and to focus better. Helping athletes and teams develop emotional intelligence is not the same as working with someone who is paranoid (no Jim Harbaugh  jokes).

Individual conversations are private. Just as the conversation between sport science staff and athlete are. The public is not invited, but the team maybe. The athletic trainer does not announce that an athlete has a weak hamstring to the world (injury reports aside).  The conversations are private, but the discussion is open to the staff. There are no secret. If there are no secrets, there is no shame. If there is no shame, then doing mental training becomes a part of the program.

Paradigm Shift

This is a shift, it’s a big shift. It means we are no longer as special. We are no longer different from the rest of the sports science team (we have a natural insecurity because others think our science is soft). We want to be like the team medical doctor. We want legal confidentiality between doctor and patient. We forget we are teaching mental skills. There is still the bond of trust between us, the athlete and team. We are not going public. We are like everyone on the team.

The bottom line is we teach skills to athletes. We help them discover as all good teachers do, elements that are missing from their skills set, in order to perform at a higher level. When we understand that, then we can share that with athletes, teams and others associated with sport. Since we all don’t get that, we are stuck. Hence the need for a paradigm shift.

Understand, I am not talking about working with depression, eating disorders, drug and alcohol related issues, etc. requiring psychotherapy or other interventions.. I’ve been working with athletes for 35 years and have only referred athletes to psychotherapists three times. Maybe only healthy players seek me out. I don’t care. If there are other issues we can help them in other ways. We teach, consult, counsel athletes on mental skills. When we get that through our head, perhaps everyone else will as well.

These are just some thoughts to go along with my last few posts. Until then, I will shout at the wind and perhaps others will listen. I am a sport psychology consultant. I am a mental skills trainer. Come work with me and understand that mental skills training is just like everything else we do in sports to reach the next level. Yes it is in your head. Yes it is harder to measure the results. But sure as anything there is in this life, mental skills training is perhaps the most important part of your training routine.

So let’s all of us get out of your own way. Learn about mental toughness. Join the shift. If we do this, more athletes will follow. For athletes and teams, don’t miss out because a bunch of people like me don’t get it. Help us shift. We will help you back. Maybe even Tebow. Remember- Mental training is not a Luxury, it’s a Necessity!

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When I wrote my last post on mental training being The Final Frontier my intention was to close with this statement. “Mental Training is not a luxury, it is a necessity!” Somehow it got lost in my enthusiasm. Or maybe it was in looking for a suitable picture from Star Trek. Either way I left it out.

I was honored this past week by being selected to be Expert in Residence at the Overlake School in Redmond WA.  The mission of The Overlake School is to Inspire excellence, Develop intellectual curiosity, Teach responsibility, Embrace diversity and Foster a compassionate community. We live our mission every day and it informs every decision we make. It was a great experience for me to make presentations to the entire school and do training sessions for 22 classes. I got to meet the majority of the students. Overlake has over 80% participation in sports and is nationally known for it’s excellence in education.

My message was pretty clear to all of the students. ”Mental Training is not a luxury, it is a necessity!”. These students have tremendous advantages. They have supportive teachers, coaches and families. I took a poll in most of the classes I met with. What do you do to train mentally? How much time do you spend. The best answer I got was from a fencer. We work on strategy. He at least saw or felt like he was doing something positive. A few students took yoga and a few others said they practiced breathing to relax (incorrectly of course). But out of the 500 plus students I met with this week no one did any real mental training. No one said they had even read a book or an article on mental training. I did training sessions on mental toughness, motivation, resiliency, relaxation, imagery & visualization, concentration, stress & anxiety management, confidence and how their thoughts affect their emotions.

We either have to decide that sport is not 70-80% mental or that mental training is important to all athletes. The more I work with athletes and see how much greater their success is when they incorporate mental training into their regular regimen, the more I am convinced that ”Mental Training is not a luxury, it is a necessity!”. 

I just updated The Mental Game website with a dozen stories about athletes I’ve worked with and what they focused on. You can see them here. I’ve been reticent about posting stories but was convinced by one of my former clients. These are a few examples I’ve picked that were instructive from the past 3 decades. One of the things that struck me as I was preparing this list were two of my current clients. Both very good athletes. Both were just recruited to the colleges they wanted to play for. Both stopped working on their mental game soon after receiving their acceptance letters. Both recently started up again because of slips in their performance.

When they called me to give them to get them a jump started again, as it were, they both acknowledged that they remembered that I had told them they needed to continue mental training as part of their routine. They didn’t stop conditioning, they each get private coaching in their sport in addition to team training, but that it regimented for them. I had set them up with a program, but it was one that they had to maintain. Lifting weights are visible reminders of what you need to do.  A spread sheet reminding you to do some mental training I guess is not as sexy. In my next post I’ll talk about what I’m doing with a company to provide a phone app as a reminder to do mental training.

The thing I want you to see is that even with the  success that these two athletes achieved (acceptance into an Ivy League School and a full ride to a university in the ACC), the need to think of mental training as a necessity instead of a luxury is critical. Mental training is not something you just read a book about and move on (unless it is The Athlete within You) Joking of course. It is something you put into practice for the rest of your athletic career.

If you understand this, believe it, then do something about it. You can read about sport psychology. There are lots of books out there besides mine, maybe not as good, but tons of great information. Find a book you like and figure out a program for yourself. Find a certified mental trainer/ sport psychology consultant and talk with them. I SKYPE with athletes all over the country and a few out of country  My SKYPE name is Mike.Margolies. I do a 20 minute consultation for free to see if our working together works for both you and me.  Then implement a program just as you implemented a strength and conditioning program. Follow your program and you will understand how it will help you find the real athlete within you.

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I was looking through some old pictures and articles from over twenty-five years ago. I don’t have a lot of the old things due in part to a burst pipe in the basement, but I have a few things. I pulled out this old and not very well written article I did for some magazine. It was called ”The Final Frontier Mental Training”.  I had written it because I thought sport psychology and mental training were finally becoming “NORMAL” for all athletes. I had been working with a number of athletes preparing them for everything from World Championships and High School. I was seeing 10-15 athletes a week. Life was starting to be good not only for the athletes as their success was almost always improved but for me as well. This was pre-internet days. Social media was word of mouth. Athletes and their coaches were starting to reach out. I assumed mental training was now finally in the mainstream. I used the Final Frontier because of Star Trek. I in fact went looking for the old article because of the new Star Trek movie release and it hit a nerve with me.  The Final Frontier. My meaning then was two-fold. We were exploring how to get the most out of an athlete. New techniques and ways of teaching mental skills  The second was we were being accepted in mainstream coaching. Sport Psychology Consultants were being hired in pro sports.

Cutting Edge

25 plus years ago I did believe I was on the cutting edge of sport psychology. I was one of those applied people. Working in the field with athletes rather than a researcher. My interests were in helping athletes run faster, jump higher etc. We were helping athletes at all levels. We were mainstream. Move ahead 25 years.

I’m still explaining what I do to athletes, parents, coaches and people I meet on the street. I was on the phone yesterday with an internet consultant from GoDaddy. He was helping me with a technical issue with my website. When he wondered what it was I did, I thought here’s a geek, a non sports guy. So I explained. Turned out he was a geek that played college DI basketball at a pretty big University. He had no idea about mental training. Never really used visualization or imagery. Had issues with being able to focus and relax. At 6’8″ he might have been able to continue to play. He decided he just wasn’t good enough so he gave up something he loved as a sophomore in college. He has not played ball in seven years. Not even for fun. Such a waste. maybe he will get a pair of shoes and wonder over to the gym now. I hope so.

Performance is mental

I’m fond of misquoting Yogi Berra the Hall of Fame Baseball player and coach. 80 percent of all performance is mental and the other 50 percent is physical. Then why are we still at the edge of the Final Frontier. Why are we not mainstream. I train a football player preparing for his Pro Day. His time to be seen by NFL scouts so he might be drafted. (He understood the importance of mental training and sought me out) He is working with a strength and conditioning coach. He is working with his position coach. He is getting nutritional advice. An he is working on his mental game. That alone makes him unusual. You see while everyone says it is the biggest part of performance, few actually practice what they admit to.

When I am speaking I often ask for a show of hands and ask “What was the reason for your poorest performances. Virtually everyone says the other team or opposition was better physically, technically and strategically says everyone, like NEVER!. It is always some form of I wasn’t mentally there. I couldn’t concentrate  I was stressed out. It it so rare that I hear they were just a better team. Do you think that the San Francisco 49ers are saying that the Baltimore Ravens are a better team? (Now John Harbaugh is likely still blaming the refs) but the players will point to a mental let own somewhere. It is as I said the difference maker.

Still on the Edge

Yet here we are still on the edge of the Final Frontier. Pro teams, college teams all have full time strength and conditioning coaches. Some will have a part time Sport Psychology Consultant. An outsider not integrated with the team. Helpful, but not there yet. Individual athletes are the same. I had a conversation today with someone who wants mental training for his team and his own kids. I know he has the money, but a new pair of cleats or a technical camp is a higher priority.

Priorities

If mental training is your lowest priority then take it off your list. If you are going to fail then it is not because of anxiety, stress, focus, negative thoughts, motivation, fear, discipline, mental toughness,  anger, emotions, self-confidence or even team cohesion.  You just are not good enough. You are physically inferior to everyone you have ever lost a contest to. The player that beat you last week that you have never lost to before, just got better than you. You might as well either hit the gym or give up because there is little you can do.  What’s that? Practicing harder seems to hurt your performance. You can’t seem to find the discipline to stay on track with your training. Don’t worry it is genetic. Nothing you can do about it.

The water in the pool is just fine

OK sarcasm rant is over. Yes I do think Mental Training is the Final Frontier. I know that mental training will help you perform at a higher level. It’s just a mater of are you going to do the work. You are out there working your butt off, lets exercise the mind as well. It will make a difference. Jump on in the waters fine.

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Thoughts on what mental lessons did we learn from Super Bowl 47

I would be remiss if I if I didn’t follow last weeks post with some thoughts and observations from Super Bowl 47.

With all the hype one team came out ready to play. You are a team or individual athlete and you have two weeks to prepare for the biggest game of your career and you come out flat. Was it the distractions of the week or just that the other team was better prepared mentally. On paper both teams have great defenses and good offenses. Half time score was 21-6 at half. 11 second into the 2nd half the score was 28-6.

And then the lights went out. We can insert 49ers, gambling, CBS, etc. jokes here about who pulled the plug.

Needless to say a weird thing happened on the way to a beat down by the older brother to his younger sibling. The lights went out in Georgia (er the Super Dome) causing a 35 minute delay. The Ravens had all of the momentum. They were in cruse control. And then the darkness. All of a sudden things changed. The commentary started in about how this may have saved San Francisco. Now they have time to regroup. No team has comeback from more than a 10 point deficit, but now maybe this is a sign. Certainly the coaching staff for the 49ers are telling their players that they can use this to their advantage. This will be the shift in momentum they need. After all its 3rd down and 13 for a first down, but the Ravens won’t be able to stop them now. On the other side, while the Ravens are thinking they still have this game in the bag time is not on their side. They are an older team and it takes time to physically get going after an hour of sitting around. Half time is over twice as long and a normal game. So they cooled down, got ready again and cooled again. Tough for any athlete. They too likely started to wonder if this meant things were not to be.

The brothers who are always interesting to watch were an interesting study. If you asked me who would be the most irrational about something during the game I would have said it would be 49er head coach Jim. He is not known in the media as Mr Congeniality. He made up for it later, but I’ll save that. Brother John can have his moments, but is perceived differently. During the Darkness, as I will refer to it, the camera caught John going off on the referees and NFL official over something. He looked as if he were losing it. He had been told they could not use headsets because the 49ers side were down. The Ravens send in plays from the coaches box so that would put them at a disadvantage. They were going to take an extra 15 minutes to allow the coaches to come down. I think it was also the delay and could he get his team back where he needed them mentally and physically after the lay off.

San Francisco takes control

Just like the movie script that includes a conspiracy theory on who pulled the plug, San Francisco came out of the Darkness on Que and came back and took the lead. The Ravens responded showing that they had not died and pulled ahead. In the end it came down to a goal line stance with SF having the ball in the Red Zone. They needed a touchdown as time was running out. Baltimore dug in and held them figuratively and perhaps actually. A non call on a hold / passing interference on 4th and the trophy, sent Jim into a rage. Not sure he’s stopped complaining yet. The Ravens get the ball on downs. Three runs later and there is still time on the clock. Ravens have to punt or perhaps opt for a safety to take time off the clock and give them room to prevent a blocked kick. Most everyone knew it was what they would do. The interesting thing was that the offense became like the defense. The held and tacked the defense players allowing the punter to take more time off before taking the safety. Holding /tackling the other team was penalty. The refs made no call. Now in truth the it made no difference. It was an anomaly. I remember having the same thing happen to me coaching youth football 36 years ago. I’ve seen some people say it is not within the spirit of the game. That may be but it is within the rules. Call or don’t call the penalty. Either way it was the endgame.

End of an Era

Ray Lewis is retiring. He won’t be gone as I am sure he will be on TV forever. I’m not a big RL fan. He paid (sort of for his crime) but still makes questionable life choices. He’s made some good ones as well and I have friends in the Baltimore area that talk about how much he does for the community. I think that is great. Community starts at home as well and he needs I think take care of his kids and ex girlfriends too. But Ray and Ed (a real good dude) are gone. I’m happy for Baltimore and their fans. There are some good stories, inspiring stories as well. Former All Pro O.J. Brigance being around fighting ALS.

Mental aspects of the Darkness

Mental toughness is about being resilient, about persevering and about persistence.

The biggest things to look at I think are these. Be prepared for competition, mentally, emotionally and physically.  (Ravens)

Be prepared for coping when things go terribly wrong like the Darkness (49ers)

Fight back when you lose momentum. (Ravens)

Don’t lose it emotionally  (both coaches)

And finally be mentally strong enough to be gracious in both victory and defeat.

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I can think of a few Super Bowl lessons and I’m sure others can add some things too.  This of course comes up each year at the Super Bowl and for the most part it is the same each year. There are I think some important lessons and choices we can all understand.

 Super Bowl Lessons from the build up

• With lots of time on their hands at least one person is going to brag about themselves.  This years biggest bragger is Randy Moss.
• Now if you have read some of my posts I encourage athletes to brag in my office.   Sometimes it is important to say good things about yourself. We do not however do it in front of millions to draw attention to self.  Randy Moss is a great receiver. One of the best. No need to say he is better than Jerry Rice other than to hear his own voice.
• Someone will be cornered in an interview and say something very, very stupid, hateful, mean, dumb and usually in the same sentence.
  Chris Culliver made news giving a homophobic opinion. He was cornered and taken by surprise by a so-called comic reporter.  This brings in two issues. If you are a professional or college athlete and you hear a question that makes you go WHAT… think twice and then think again about your answer.  Abraham Lincoln said, ”Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” It is bad enough to say something stupid, but hate has no place in sports.
• With lots of time on your hands you may start to over think situations.
  This one can affect coaches. You game plan for the game of your career and then a day or so before the big game change your game plan. Last week Tim Brown told reporters that Bill Callahan threw the Super Bowl so his old boss Jon Gruden would win. This is back in 2002. It is a pretty ridiculous statement on the surface. Coaches are very competitive and friendship and brotherhood go out the door during golf games for $5. The Super Bowl that’s hard to believe. What perhaps is not hard to believe is that Callahan got caught up in over thinking the game against his old boss. Come up with a good strategy and stick to it. Stress makes people do odd things and few work out vs good planing.
• It has not happened yet but as it has happened before I bring it to everyone’s attention. An athlete will get in trouble with the law. There will be a fight, their will be drugs, there will be prostitution. Name your poison.
• And don’t forget to watch the sideline entertainment of two brothers and their sibling rivalry (John and Jim Harbaugh)

I just want to point out the possibilities and a few realities. When you are on stage as all athletes are it is critical that you take a step back. Too much money to throw away over a few moments of fame shoot your mouth off or getting in trouble. I know a player who blew roughly $38M smoking grass before he signed his contract. Players have thrown away their Super Bowl chance and disrupted their teams over next to nothing.

The important story line really is that it does not need to be the Super Bowl. An athlete plays their sport for love and sometimes money but it is always a privilege not a right. If your goal is to play the game, then play the game. Keep your mind focused. You can have fun. I’m not from the moral right. Moderation and good sense will help you reach your dreams. Enjoy watching sibling rivalry on the biggest stage in sports. Watch the inspired Ray Lewis exit a stage he was close to leaving over a decade ago because of a bad choice.  It takes a kind of mental toughness to stay focused. You have it in you, I’m sure. You may just need to learn how to access it. You do know where to find the mental training I’m sure.

Of course there are also the commercials if you get bored with the game.

This is a picture of the most famous Super Bowl commercial.

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Carpe Diem – for an Extraordinary Life

I watched one of my favorite movies the other day, The Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams in the lead role.  A teacher who inspired his students to think for themselves and live their lives to the fullest.  Working with athletes on the mental game constantly reminds me how fortunate we are to play the games we do at such a high level with great passion. Often times we do forget to Seize the Day! This is about living an Extraordinary Life.

I’ve borrowed the title to this blog from a friend of mine.  His name is Randall Broad. He is the author of a book called “It’s an Extraordinary Life“. You can find it on the link or via Amazon (the usual places). I bring up his book and the title because not only does it hit home with me, but with most of my clients. Some of the things he talks about in his book are these:

* why you should live everyday as if you have cancer
* the importance of learning from those who know
* the importance of not “Missing It”
* why you always need to pay yourself first
* that miracles really do happen
* adversity is just another step to your goals
* and finally, how to make each day yet another in an Extraordinary Life

This post was going to be about Lance Armstrong. I’ve been working on that since I heard Armstrong was going to be on Oprah. I will get to that post in good time. I thought it more important to talk in part about my friend Randy. His book is about his successful battle with lung cancer. He and I have had a few words back and forth about Mr. Armstrong. I will say I believed he was cheating since early in 2000, but I’ll save that for my Lance Armstrong post. Randy as with most cancer survivors were huge supporters of Livestrong and Lance. Hence our conversations.

What really got me thinking was something Armstrong said in his interview. About how the cancer brought out a ruthlessness in his personality to fight for his life. That brought me back to Randy’s book. Randy took a slightly different approach which brought him to the same end. He reflected on what an Extraordinary Life he had led and how we should do that each and every day. 

This has brought me to a realization. Should we wait to have a major catastrophic event in our lives to realize we should live each day an an extraordinary way or should we dedicate ourselves to that ideal right from today. I have seen athletes do incredible things over the course of my career. I’ve met people all over who live their days in extraordinary ways. But most of the people I meet live day to day. They will have an extraordinary day on occasion but they don’t live their life that way. Those are exceptional days. So I ask myself, can we live the Extraordinary Life on a daily basis? I’ve been training people to that on the field of sports and business for over three decades, but it wasn’t until now that I realized how important it is to acknowledge peak performance, being in the zone or having an Extraordinary Life every single day could make such a huge difference. Rather than preparing for a single moment in time, could we not stretch those moments throughout our lives? What we imagine we become. To see our lives as extraordinary is stepping through a gate to find you are who you want to be.

I am not one for waxing poetic (actually I do have a book of poetry somewhere on my computer) rather my focus has been on training people, mostly athletes, to use their mind to perform in practice and competition to the highest level. Yes there has always been what I would term carryover into their regular lives. Better grades, better social lives etc.

My new mission is to emphasize that athletes realize that if they live the Extraordinary Life daily, when all is said and done they will realize that they spend more time in the zone than out. That they will naturally compete and live their life able to handle stress and adversity. I think it starts with understanding your why. Once you understand your why if you decide that you can live an Extraordinary Life on a daily basis things become clearer and in fact easier. Yes there will always be hard work and training. Extraordinary people just find it easier because they recognize  that living their life full-out is what matters.

Some of this also comes from the fact that I caught a cold. No I am not comparing that to Randy’s fight with Lung Cancer. I caught the cold December 28th I think. By New Years Eve I had no voice. I’ve not been able to really talk until this week. My voice is perhaps 75% today. For someone who makes their living talking to clients and public speaking this was a shock. For most of the month I could be heard in a soft whisper. That is when the idea of Living an Extraordinary Life took hold. Whispering to clients made me realize that we take many things for granted. I’ve lived in many ways and extraordinary life. I’ve worked with top competitors and I think helped make the difference in many people lives, but to say I have had an Extraordinary Life on a daily basis would be untrue.

So here is to Living the Extraordinary Life! It’s the only one we have, wouldn’t it things holding you back.  Be EXTRAORDINARY in your sport and life be better if every day were Extraordinary? Mental skills can help you deal with the things holding you back.  Be EXTRAORDINARY in your sport and life!

Carpe Diem!

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A year in review 2012

I’ve not ever felt a need to do this before, to have a year in review. It is a new experience for me. I want to look back at 2012 with clarity and be able to move forward in new ways. So taking my own advice, I am going back over the successes and of course challenges of the past year. You can cut to the chase by going to the last paragraph if you like.

Starting with the Athletes and their sports

Sounders FC U23 Player DeAndre Yedlin with Mike Margolies

I worked with an amazing group of athletes this year including those in the following sports: Golf, football, gymnastics, hockey, equestrians, soccer, tennis, swimming, softball, baseball, track, diving, roller derby, basketball, triathlon, cycling, fencing, water skiing, fitness, power lifting and lacrosse.

Competitor’s ages ranged from 12 to 70+.  Competitive levels were club, high school, college and professional. Seven high school athletes earned scholarships or were accepted to their first choice college as an athlete (Ivy League = no athletic scholarships). One college walk-on earned her full scholarship. Most the athletes, but not all, were starters on their respective teams. In the end all were starting most of their games. I worked with a few teams as well at the club and minor league levels. All in all it was a very good year for the clients I worked with. If I were to put it in baseball terms, I would say that we batted around .900       Read the rest of the post by choosing more….

Athlete Failures

There are always of these. The athletes themselves did OK in the sense that they were no worse off than when we started. There are always a few that I fail to reach. I always take this on myself (I know I shouldn’t . Over the years the athletes I’ve worked with (in the thousands now) there are always some who do not buy into mental training or perhaps my approach or admittedly my personality. The fit has to be right. I am learning this is a two way street. It needs to be right for them and for me. Most of the athletes that fail to “get it” are the one’s whom their parental units have dragged into my office to work on an issue. Half the time it is in fact, the parents who are the issue, but that is the theme for another blog.

Client turnover

This is the biggest challenge in the business of mental training (that and overcoming the stigma of sport psychology is for serious mental problems instead of building mental skill competency). Understand that a psychotherapists may see clients for six months to two years; a psychiatrist may see their patients for life (old joke). In sport psychology, if I can’t start to help someone right away they may not have a sport or team to play on. I see most of my clients for 6 to 12 sessions and then we stay in contact over time. This means client turnover occurs every week. I’ve psychotherapists friends that add a new client maybe once a month. I am adding clients all the time. Don’t get me wrong. I like that I can help someone so quickly, but from a business perspective it is a challenge. This means more marketing, networking and time away from other things.

Speaking

I did a good deal of speaking. I spoke to networking groups, service groups (like Rotary, Optimist and Kiwanis) and sports clubs. I did a number of talks at sports camps too. This is an area of my life that will be a priority in 2013. I want to move up to speak to more businesses and organizations as a keynote speaker. I joined the National Speakers Association and will look at Toastmasters too. I have teamed with some people from Merrill Lynch and The Hartford Group to do appreciation seminars for their clients next year (we were going to start this year but something called Sandy interfered). In February I will be Expert in Residence at The Overlake School. It is a prestigious prep school. I will also be speaking at the Elite Junior Placement Hockey Showcase in May.

Writing

I wrote a lot of blog posts this year. I did them on my blog and for some other sites, two soccer sites and a National Hockey Site. I made a little progress on revising my book, but not enough. I’ve become much more confident in this area. Now when I neglect writing during the week, I feel something is missing. It is a very strange feeling for someone who hated writing. Book sales have been OK. I released my Kindle version on Amazon. I’ve also given away a lot of books and had a very nice comment from a professional soccer player, after he read it. I need to get more reviews up on Amazon. My author friends are better at nagging people than I am, as they say that how to get it done.

Media

The Issaquah Press did another article about me. It was a bit of a book review. I was a guest on about a dozen radio shows around the US and one even in Israel. I was asked to be on an Olympic TV broadcast which unfortunately fell through (they decided to focus on the political aspects of the competition instead of the athletes themselves). I love doing radio and miss my show. I’ve not found the right opportunity this year for a new one.

Business Team Building and Consultation

I did a few seminars for businesses this year. Not nearly enough. They went very well and perhaps that will push me to do a lot more. They were excited by the different perspective and understood sport analogies and how this would help them.

Affiliations

Having come from the team sport world, I am used to working in teams. I’ve worked for corporations big and small over the years. I formed a few alliances this year for business purposes. I offer an Emotional Intelligence Assessment through a performance specialist in Canada and have a new affiliation with a mental training group. I’ll talk more about that when the details are complete.

A year in review must look at the Biggest Failures

I can write this in three words. Marketing, marketing and marketing. I can promote snow as they say to Eskimos, but promoting me, asking for business is harder. It is my number one goal this year. So in that light I am asking everyone who reads this to tell three people about me, my services and my book. Now we all feel better. I will do better than that I promise.
I Have To.

So there it is, a year in review

Why did I write this and post it, “Because I need to take my own advice”.  If we don’t review our past, how do we know what we did right or wrong? It is easy to forget our success and focus on failure. I feel really good when I think about the athlete’s and how successful they were. There are times I sometimes get down thinking about all of the things I need to do from a business prospective and that is not productive. If you have read any of my motivation posts you understand that my purpose is to help athletes. It is easy to forget that sometimes. So this was about accountability to me, my family and friends and the people I work for to help them find “The Athlete within You” with no apologies for the shameless plug. Before you set sail on 2013, do a quick review of 2012 and talk to someone about your success and failure. I guarantee is will make setting your sights on your goals for 2013 much easier. I wish everyone a very Happy and Prosperous New Year.

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Learn from a Jackass is an old motivational, (scratch that) inspirational story. It has been repeated many times.  I use it occasionally to make a few points about Mental Training. I’ve no idea where I first heard it; though I know it was years ago. I realized today that it is one of those stories I’ve not used here. So indulge me and learn a lesson from a Jackass.

One day a farmer’s donkey (officially recognized as a Jackass by Webster’s) fell down into a well. The animal brayed (Heehawed) for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to rescue the jackass.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, to everyone’s was amazement, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

So what do we learn from the Jackass, you ask?
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each problem is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

That is of course what the story is all about; being able to shake things off when the dirt pile up on you. Here is the problem. The donkey likely shook the dirt off because it bothered him and it was what he had always done when dirt got on him. It is a singular act of habit. Even stepping up was habit as he had dirt under his feet. We give credit to the jackass for quieting down and figuring out he was going to escape this way where the reality was he was repeating a habit. WE do so much of that. When it works we are effective, when it doesn’t - well things may not go well.

The thing I want you to ask about as a human being and not a Jackass (though of course many of us at times emulate this noble beast of burden) is “if just shaking my back does not work, is there anything else I can do?”  The answer is yes of course and in a large part it is what mental training is all about. Giving you strategies’ and skills to get yourself out of a pit so that you can perform so well that you rarely fall down that deep a hole ever again. If a jackass can learn to get out of the well, so can all of us. It is just a matter of knowing how.

Not all pits are life threatening like the well the donkey fell in, but we all find ourselves dealing with things in sports that get in our way. I work with an athlete now recovering from an injury and she is totally frustrated. The harder she works, the tighter her quad gets and signals her brain to stop. When she relaxes, she can go on and complete the game. Another is so concerned with getting a scholarship that he thinks about every shot he takes on goal. His fear is if he misses, he won’t be recruited to the DI school he wants to go to. Another athlete was so filled with anxiety she could not finish (she learned to and got accepted to an Ivy League school). All it took was learning how to toss off the dirt in a new way, because the old way wasn’t working. There are many ways, come learn some new ones to boost your performance. The same skills by the way apply to the business world.

Want to learn about some of these skills? Mental Training is for everyone. It’s not magic and it is not an instant fix, it is science based educational skills and strategies to allow you to perform at your best in sports and business. Find us at The Mental Game.

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Postural Enlightenment is a way of focusing on how we are doing.  Just a short post to remind everyone during the holiday’s to stay focused on what is important in their lives. Team, family, friends can not be forgotten. Your goals are important, but remember to take time for others. This time of year for some brings on a malaise or sadness. I try never to use the word depression as this is a clinical term and as you know I do not work with clinical issues. But from time to time sadness comes into the lives of most of us and we must learn to deal.  So especially this time of year, I would like you to look around and pay attention not only to others, but to yourself. Get in touch with your feelings and sort things out. Self awareness is critical to becoming the athlete and person you would like to be. In this light I want you to become aware of one simple thing. It is simple and can change your perspective very quickly.

Let us have good head and shoulders—the basic elegant posture of enlightenment and peace. This is a statement I have seen for many years. I may have heard it stated this way from an associate who was also a yoga instructor. Yoga which focuses so acutely on form can send us an important message.

I can’t tell you how many times I remind athletes that our state of mind can dependent on our posture. The athlete knows the importance of posture, of proper breath, of being relaxed. Of course, you can tell when someone is sad, they slump. Problem is- it’s self-fulfilling. It’s hard to cheer up, mentally, when, physically, you’re slumped. Also notice a person’s or your own shoulders. Are you or they wearing shoulders for earrings?

We recognize excitement in others. Look around at a movie theater. It’s remarkable on how friends edge to their seats and sit up bolt upright in the movie theater when they were excited. Just notice the picture here. Which one looks sad, just by a quick look?

Watch an artist or dancer. You can see a sort of peace and presence in them—and that physical elegance, whether manifested through painting or dance or everyday life—it further manifests in our inner and outer actions.

Watch someone who is really confident and how they carry themselves. Posture is likely upright with shoulders back and they smile or at least do not frown. You can see their confidence without hearing them speak.

This is such a simple point that it’s easy to overlook how easy, and powerful, a tool this is to keep in mind. When you’re sad, make an effort to sit up, and relax. When you’re excited, make an effort to breathe. It’s an easy way to bring your state of mind into a happier place. Your posture will give you insight into what is going on inside you. So will the aches and pains you might have. Do your shoulders hurt? How about your lower back? Are you taking easy smooth breaths or are they short and shallow? All indicators of what is going on inside you. Pay attention, it is part of your emotional intelligence.

Postural Enlightenment for all of us

So whether it is the time of year or simply preparation for your season or business meeting, look in the mirror? Shoulders back, head up, nice smile. Go get them and live the life you want to have. An athlete is far more dominant and successful with good posture. There is a reason in sports we call extended poor performance-a slump.

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Happy Holiday’s from The Mental Game. It has been an interesting year for most of us. The economy has not yet turned around and there are challenges yet to be faced around the world in terms of freedom, peace, health and social acceptance. As with most things, we make a few steps forward and take a step back. This was a good year in many ways and friends are celebrating new adventures. I am glad you are out there.

This year has been great for little things in life like my book, “The Athlete within You- a mental approach to sports and business” While not yet on the New York Times Best Sellers list, it has been selling and more important for me, I get compliments from those that read it. Just a week or so ago I got a message from a Major League Soccer player who was reading it and took the time to write to me how much he was enjoying it. I’ve had tons of parents tell me the same thing and that now they understand what their kids are going through. It is all very gratifying.

Clients. My clients are amazing people and teams. They have had one of the best years ever both on the playing field and off. They are learning mental skills and becoming mentally tough. High School athletes getting scholarships and the same for a couple of walk on college players. Some college players getting the chance to play at the next level. One of the things I am most happy about is how well athletes are using the mental skills training in all parts of their life. Grades are improving as well as their achievements in other areas of their lives. I got a huge compliment just today from the husband of a client as he jumped on to our SKYPE call to tell me how much he appreciated what his wife was learning and how it was translating to other areas of their lives. He’s going to be introducing me to businesses because of what he has seen. I’m looking forward to it!

Speaking of Businesses. I’ve had a great time doing team building with company’s this year and it is cool to see how well they adopt the things we teach in sports to their own teams.

Speaking of Speaking. This has been an area where I have had a lot of fun doing both paid gigs and working with service organizations gratis. In January I will be giving appreciation seminars for a major financial institution and a major Mutual Fund. This is an area I’ve focused on and it is starting to move forward.

Wishing everyone Happy Holiday’s from my family to yours. Just wanted you to know I am grateful for all of you out there that read this blog. Please feel free to comment back or you can reach me through The Mental Game to say hello. If you would like to give a book to a friend or family member I am posting shortly a way to give a gift and for a portion of your purchase to go to children.  The link will be here . Working on the details now.

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TAGFEE in Sports. I have written about core values before here. I think they are very important to teams, individuals and businesses. Normally I apply things we have learned from elite athletes and sports teams to the people I help in the business world. I do a good bit of team building and teaching corporate entities the value of working more like a sports team then a business unit. I’d like to take some time today and reverse this stratagem. It is not that when I work with sports teams I do not use the things I have learned from being in the business world to help them be efficient, I do, but this is something I want to incorporate more. It is not that these ideas are revolutionary to either the business world or to the sports world. I just happen to like the way that this is laid out in I think a very useful way. To be sure for some teams this will be very alien in nature. If this make your club, team uncomfortable that may be good. If you are the owner, GM or coach just consider how this could make a difference. Maybe there are a few things, if not all you could incorporate. I just want you to consider them for now and we can discuss implementation at a later time.

This idea blossomed in my mind after a meeting I had with Founding President Emeritus of a hi-tech company called SeoMoz, Gillian Muessig.  She and her son Rand Fishkin developed this model and Rand has been the chief orator on what they call TAGFEE. I thought what I would do was briefly describe TAGFEE and then apply it to a sports team rather than to a business unit. You can read much more about TAGFEE on SeoMoz.

TAGFEE represents the following. Transparency, Authenticity, Generosity, Fun, Empathy and Exceptionalism. Now if you are a Team Owner, GM or Coach you are thinking this is what we do. We may talk about them differently, but basically this is how we roll. I’ve been involved all of my life in sports. It is not how we roll. For a decade working with my own teams I have been asking players to look at some core values for our teams. While I think I looked at a lot of areas that may have included these themes, I assure you not everything here is covered. I suggest that most teams fail to understand how important having this type of core value is to the running of their organization.

Let’s look closer at what this all means.

Transparency - Sharing your inner workings. This includes finances with everyone on the team. I hear families complain all of the time what are they getting for their money. At the professional levels everyone from the ball boys to the stars should understand the teams goals from A to $$.  It’s more than finances it is also process. How do we do evaluations? How do we rate players? What makes us trade or cut a player? What is the basis for contracts? All of these things and more are part of a transparent team. It allows everyone to take part. It gives us needed understanding on how our contribution makes the team stronger.

Authenticity - We should be who we are. We should always represent ourselves internally and to the outside world who we are. We are a team and we are individuals. WE need to be able to be ourselves. That does mean that not everyone will fit on the team, but good teams find ways to allow their players to be authentic. I often see teams try to make players have roles that does not fit their skill sets. The team says it is for the good of the team. I see that and if the player can make it work and become that role then there is not a problem, because it has become authentic for them. Too often I see the opposite. I see unhappy players going through the motions, neither playing well or being satisfied even if the team is winning. In the end it often leads to discontent and team problems.

Generosity -Not just a financial statement, we work as a team to be generous to people inside and outside our organization, and help in whatever ways we can. I work with a team that has just held two benefits to support cancer awareness and to help with the Wounded Warrior project. Their generosity helped the team give something more to their community than wins. Internally it created an awesome feeling for everyone. Now they were part of team and community.

Fun - I am always amazed how often I have to tell players and teams to have fun. Not just in games and at practice, but in their social interactions. I was shocked thirty-nine years ago when I was told first the Ball was the money. I asked what that meant. I was told to do my J.O.B. and catch the ball. This was not about having F.U.N. it was about being professional. It seems to me that football was supposed to be fun. Now winning is fun, competition is fun make no mistake about that, I believe in those things, but I also believe that sports are fun in a different way. They are where the child in us can play. Don’t let things get boring. Allow laughter. Make players want to work hard at practice because it is fun. Yes there are always things to do that are tedious. Do them with a partner and laugh and you will accomplish so much more.

Empathy - putting ourselves into the minds of others and feeling their pain, their happiness, their challenges, and their desires. In fact, empathy is at the root of every other core value we have. Without empathy can you understand what your backup feels? Do you get the pressure the star quarterback has to deal with on a daily bases? When coaches understand players and players understand management it makes for a fundamentally better environment. As a player realizing that your coach only wants the best out of you and the team. Understanding they may be under stress. This level of empathy leads us in wonderful directions because it enables us to push ourselves to new places not just for ourselves, but for those around us.

Exceptionalism -SeoMoz describes this as uniquely remarkable and I like this. It doesn’t mean be real good. Not every team is great. Not every team can win. We can as a team always strive to be exceptional and uniquely ourselves. When we do this we may find that we play at a higher level. I’ve been a Denver Bronco fan since I did some work for them in the late 70’s. Last year without (my opinion) a real NFL quarterback (Tebow) they got themselves into the playoffs and even won a playoff game. Why? Perhaps because they found who they were and played to those strengths. They were uniquely remarkable. I prefer them as they are today to be sure with Payton Manning, but I think what we say was instructive.

Come up with your teams core values. Take a moment and see if TAGFEE fits into what you want to accomplish. Trust in your values. If they are true core values you will stay with them no matter what. I believe what it does in the long-term serves you very well. You will have players and staff around you that fit into your team culture. If it is critical to business, it is critical to a sports team as well. Take some time it will be worth the effort.  Give me a call and I can help you take your team / company forward.

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If we look at a metaphorical generalized model of what motivation might look like it might be a large water tank. I am not in any way removing my supposition that we need to think about motivation as a triangle. This is just another way of generalizing about motivation to help athletes understand more about the simplicity of motivation overall and some of the complexities.

So if we use a picture of a large water tank I think it will help with the explanation. There is no top to the tank and so for many of us motivation, drive, enthusiasm, or the Fury just over flow the tank. The tank is filled mostly and best by a hose that is inside the tank. Sometimes it is filled by other people. Oddly they make us offerings of speeches, carrots and sometimes they use fear which can be a motivator as well. All of these hoses are smaller and are far less effective at filling the tank.

Sometimes our tank develops hoses in it. Normally when we are fully focused out internal hose keeps up with the out flow. Sometimes it is difficult to keep our internal hose on all the time and the leaks sap us of some of our essence. Holes develop for lots of reasons like a lack of confidence, stress, poor team cohesion, outside distractions, etc.

If the hoses cannot keep up with the leak, we see less of the motivation we usually have and performance generally diminishes. We can patch holes of course. Generally what happens when things are leaking is that we lose ourselves and take our hand off our internal hose regulator. If we can’t keep up for the inside it is very difficult for all of the outside hoses to keep up. It becomes a situation as in Hans Christian Anderson’s story of the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike. Eventually you can’t keep up with the leaks and having stopped filling from the inside you end up being no longer motivated, even though it is something you wanted very much to do.

Eventually many people at that point just stop trying to keep the valve open and have to shift. Shifting is one way of closing those holes. The problem is after the shift things are never really the same until the person finds something that re-ignites their passion.

I hope that this makes some sense to you. To simplify it I can have you think of it this way:

• Internal Motivation = Big Hose (but you do have to keep a hand on the valve)
• External Motivation = Smaller hoses controlled by other people. It takes a lot of these hoses to top of the tank.
• Leaks = Stress, anxiety, loss of confidence, fear and many others. You can keep the leaks small or patched by using mental skills like relaxation, imagery and other cognitive behavioral techniques.

I think a huge secret in all of this is understanding your Big Why. If you understand your own triangle you will have a far easier time keeping your hand on the valve or perhaps even think of it as pedal to the metal which ever works best for you. Finding and knowing your why will always help you keep the water near the top. It will allow you to rely far less on all those small hoses. It gives you ultimate control because the big hose you control so when you need to back off, even when your coach is overly enthusiastic, it is in your hands. Same goes for when you develop leaks. Adding a little extra water in will allow you to use your mental game skill sets to seal up the holes, ultimately with a patch that neither requires attention or the little Dutch boy’s finger.

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I was asked the other day and not for the first time why do mental training? I have been a proponent for three decades now that everyone should do mental training and working with someone like myself can help give every athlete a new set of tools or even one tool that will help them get to a new level of performance. I have worked with beginners to world champions and everyone finds something that is useful to them. But the question is still often asked so I thought I would address it here today.

The usual questions start with how does mental training or sport psychology help athlete’s perform at a higher level. Generally before I can answer that question the person will ask; will it help me deal with ___________________? There is a long list usually dealing with fear or anxiety. The answer is yes it will help and in so many other areas as well. Usually people will ask about a certain area.

In general I usually work with athletes on some form of the things I have listed below. If you are astute the thing you will notice is that I have listed a combination of training techniques and issues. I’ve done this because over the years I have found that people tend to think about sport psychology in both terms issues and techniques. An example is relaxation training. Athletes may want to learn how to deal with stress and the easiest way for them to talk about it is they want to learn to relax. Whatever way you want to think about is OK. What I want you to understand is that regardless of how you think about sport psychology and mental training it must be in your arsenal as a hockey player. It doesn’t matter how much talent you have, and I have worked with world champions, this is an area that you can improve and help yourself get to the next level.

I am working with a national level athlete right now and their issue was focus. So we start working on exercises that will help them focus better. Through our discussions, I come to understand that the main issue really is fear of success. The athlete knew that, but it was far easier to work on concentration than to deal with fear.

One quick story. I worked with a very talented college player. He played at a good college. He is as good a player in his sport that I have worked with at the college level. His plan was two more years and then hopefully a career as a professional athlete. After a summer of work and a good start to college season he was informed that he should find an agent as he was going to be offered a contract (allowable in his sport) as soon as the season finished.  He lacks nothing physically. He has skill, speed, endurance and intelligence. He was only being held back by something small. A short body of work learning some new mental skills and working through a small issue and “BAM” he’s a professional athlete, now rather than later and fulfilling his dreams.

I won’t tell you it is that easy for everyone. But I will tell you everyone is capable of playing better. Just think what it would be like to be just 2% or 5% better than you are today. How much training on the ice or in the gym do you need to make that kind of improvement?  I have listed just a few areas for your consideration. If you want or need any help in these (or any other) area than give sport psychology a shot. Of course I would love for you to can me. We can work via SKYPE or in person, but if not me find someone else who can be of service.

Find me at www.themental-game.com and start getting better at what you do now. Be proactive and go through the ceiling with your performance before you bump your head.

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Here is a new exercise called Coin Flip. I borrowed this from a friend. I am very sure it was not really intended to be a psychological teaching exercise, but more a metaphor perhaps. Just the same I can see many ways of using this to help people understand their own minds a little better. This will be short and as I develop this a little more I will likely add to this discussion. Use this regardless of your sport. You could be a golfer, football player or track star. You might play hockey or ride horses. This exercise can open your eyes.

So here is how it goes The Mental Game Coin Flip

Some people will tell you that this is about letting fate determine your future. They believe if I am asking them to flip a coin to make a decision that I am saying leave it to luck or some random result. That is not what I am saying at all.  I am pointing out that when the coin is in mid flip you will become aware of what you really want. People believe that their gut instincts are right most of the time.

Indecision comes not so much from not knowing what you want but from a lack of awareness to what you want. When you flip that coin in the air, there becomes a moment of truth where it is hard to sit on the fence. You will become aware of what you really want the outcome to be. Self-awareness is a key component of Emotional Intelligence. This becomes a way of not only making a clear decision but becoming more self-aware.

Unfortunately when people actually flip a coin to make real decisions they very often go with fate. I think when you do this properly; you really determine your own fate. Because heads or tails whatever you decide in the moment when the coin is in the air, is what you should go with not what the result happens to be.

Let’s play with it. Pick something you need to make a decision about. You say you are torn and can’t do it. Flip a coin high in the air. Are you neutral to the outcome? If it is important to you, then I would think not. You will have a thought like Heads or Tails. Not wishing necessarily, just projecting. So there is your answer. You don’t even need to see the result. In fact I would say don’t even look. You know in your gut what you want to do. If you were to do this over the course of a short period of time and ask yourself what are some of the reasons for my ultimate choices you begin to increase your own awareness.

So here is something I would love people to respond to. Give a sports example that this could apply to. Maybe should you go for a run today or something more important like changing coaches?

Come up with a great example, post it here and I’ll send you a copy of
The Athlete within You.

Give this a turn or rather a flip the next time you think you don’t know your own mind.

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There is an old saw ab out five frogs sitting on a log. OK so this has been around a while, but I like to use it with the athletes and business people I work with. Riddle me this: Five frogs sitting on a log. Two decide to jump in the pond. How many frogs remain on the log?

Did you say three…. or more?

Most people answer three. Most people look at me like I’m stupid as well, but that is another story. The answer is we really don’t know. We don’t know because deciding to do something and doing something are two distinct and different entities. It doesn’t matter if you are an athlete or you are in business, action is the determining factor. Sitting on a log and thinking about or even deciding to jump in, only means you are sitting on a log. Only when we actually jump in are we going anywhere. So the answer could be three or zero, after all after one jumps in, all the others might just decide to follow.

I’ve used this for years with my athletes and it never fails to help them understand how important action is to their success.

Back when Star Wars was huge (like today as it never seems to go away), I would often quote Master Yoda, “Do or Do Not! There is no Try! Yoda is a great Sport Psychology Consultant helping athletes from many generations to perform at the highest levels.

While Master Yoda is very wise indeed, I have come to believe that these five frogs can be very good teachers as well, and they sort of remind me of something. Maybe it’s that they are all green.

And if you got the riddle wrong, at least you likely have good math skills.

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In sport we often need to control anger. It is a natural emotion experienced by almost all people, and as something that has functional value for survival. Anger can mobilize psychological resources for corrective action. Uncontrolled anger can, however, negatively affect personal or social well-being.

Athletes know when they not focused, not working hard or just plain not bringing it. An opponent likely is getting in their head, or your coach is yelling at you; it can cause frustration that can affect one’s performance causing angry outbursts.

If you are competitive and that winning seems to be everything when on the ice; as most athletes do, and that when the heat of the game is on they may let things go right away.  Then in this precarious emotional state something happens in the game. Maybe there is a little extra contact. Maybe someone takes a cheap shot at one of your team mates. So what can you do?  Push the player back? Fight? Yell at your coach?  Yell at your teammates?  Take yourself out of the game? Get thrown out of the game?  Whichever one you decide to do, it is probably not the best way to handle the situation, and at the end of the day, is it really helping you? Or is it actually hurting you and your team?  Most likely it will be the latter. However, the way you react can make or break the game you are in. A negative reaction can lead to a lack of coordination between you and the other players on your team throwing the entire team off-balance. A positive reaction, however, can inspire you and your team creating an unspoken commitment and drive from each player to put everything they have into the game, creating unity throughout the entire team. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that an aggressive act to protect your team mates or yourself in inappropriate. I could hardly work with hockey players if I believed that o be the case. I am suggesting however that whatever you do is based on cool calculation and not anger.

Control Anger in Aggressive Sports

Tip #1: Communicate with your teammates and coaches.  When you keep things inside you that happened in practice or during the first half of the game, it gets the best of you and then your anger takes over.  Something that was just a little annoying or upsetting to you instantly turns into a huge screaming or fight.  If you think one of your teammates needs to step up their game or stop committing fouls, let them know that at half time or a time out.  Calmly approach them and let them know what you have been noticing, but don’t criticize them.

Tip #2: Try to channel your energy.  We have all let our anger get the best of us and ruin the great game we were having. Instead, make it an even better game by turning it into extra energy. Anger is an emotion triggered in a part of our brain that reacts. Your limbic system is a part of your brain that controls your emotions and behaviors.  So, before you do anything irrational, try to talk through your anger and let it give your body a confidence boost that can make you skate faster and play even harder.

Tip #3: Understand your opponents.  When you get an elbow to the nose, or knocked down by your opponent, don’t take it so personal.  It is just part of hockey.  If you don’t learn how to let the little things go during the game, you won’t be able to recover from it the entire game.

Tip #4: Use the anger or frustration you have from your mistake and try to focus only on the next good play you are about to make.  Don’t dwell on the past, everyone makes mistakes.  Not even the best professional players go a whole single game without making one bad pass or play.

If you want to be a great athlete, learn how to use these tips, along with others and transfer them into your game.  Anger, emotions and frustration can take control of your game, but the challenge is to not let them.  All athletes must learn to overcome their mistakes and move forward from them in order to really succeed.

Notice that the continued theme here is control. I never eluded to that you should never put someone into the boards hard or even fight. My point is that just as you can be calculating in how you play the game, you can be calculating in aggressive behavior. If you do get angry, use that anger to fuel your fury for the game, your passion. Regulate yourself. I’ve talked about how to do this with relaxation before. This is the other end. Some players don’t get fired up until they have been hit a few times. Just get very good (with practice) of reeling yourself back in. Regulate your emotions with intelligence and you will be a far better player. Make sure you leave things that went on prior to the game in the locker room.

If you are losing your temper due to frustration off the ice here are ten other tips that will help.

• No. 1: Take a timeout (pull yourself away from the volatile situation)
• No. 2: Once you’re calm, express your anger (keeping your thoughts inside will lot help)
• No. 3: Get some exercise (going for a run or lifting weights will help)
• No. 4: Think before you speak (don’t fan the fire)
• No. 5: Identify possible solutions (think first)
• No. 6: Stick with ‘I’ statements (take responsibility)
• No. 7: Don’t hold a grudge (forgiveness is ok, not saying you should forget, but let it go)
• No. 8: Use humor to release tension (laughter is really the best)
• No. 9: Practice relaxation skills (I’ve covered this many times)
• No. 10: Know when to seek help (if all else fails, you can call me)

Are you the player you want to become? Come discover” The Athlete within You” and find out what is sport psychology; and why you should learn about the game within the game!

Athletes from all over the country have been seeking out Mike Margolies for close to thirty-five years for his expertise in helping them live up to their potential. They have sought his counsel and unique teaching style to learn about the game within the game. Mike founded The Mental Game and Sport Psychology Consultants in 1983 and has helped over 2000 athletes. Mike has taught at four Universities and completed research at the United States Olympic Training Center. Mike Margolies is available for workshops, team and individual consultation, assessment and as a speaker. His new book is called “The Athlete within You- a mental approach to sports and business” It is for athletes and non athletes working to achieve more in life. http://themental-game.com/

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Back at the end of August I posted a story in this space called The Old Man Story, (click on link here). I had done so because I had read about some players poor choices. I wrote that I have told this story for years, perhaps more years than I would like to admit. I used it in my book, “The Athlete within You” as well. I first heard the story from my soccer coach what has to be over 35 years ago. Usually I would make a joke here and say that I was maybe five when I heard it first, but that is just for fun. (I was 6).  Anyway I have told this story to almost every athlete I have ever trained. I’ve told it to a lot of audiences and to the classes I’ve taught. I’m probably responsible for 5000+ people hearing this tale. It wasn’t my story and I doubt it was Coach Kelley’s, but I was happy to continue his tradition. This weekend I was struck by something that I didn’t see coming. My story may have come back to me.

As anyone reading my posts knows I was working with the Cheyenne Stampede all last week. Yes I did tell them the story of the old man the first day. That’s not what has struck me silent. Take a look at this picture below.

OK it’s an old tale, I get that. I have not talked to GM Mark Lantz about the banner. He put it up and he used it very movingly on my last day of training camp to inspire his team to make great choices. I’m very sure that he has heard or read of something similar over the years. But what if, just what if The Old Man Story stuck in the unconscious of a very young graduate student who took a sport psychology class at the University of Wyoming over a quarter century ago.

What if our words could move someone to use the same line to inspire young people to greatness and perhaps had its roots back then. Can we inspire generations, will these players one day challenge another group of young people after I’m gone. Pretty heady stuff.  It’s likely just one of my day dreams, of course that’s what day dreams are for.

I told the players I have one main purpose. To help them with their mental game so they will have the skills to reach for their dreams. Funny how it may have started before any of them were born. Just a thought.

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This is a journal of a sport psychology consultant. A week with the Cheyenne Stampede working with them on the mental game. Pre season Mental training with them.  I thought I would take a brief moment to talk about the process. It is a process I have used many times, but it is always different in the sense that flexibility is critical. I had worked out a rough schedule with the GM prior to my flying in. He and the head coach had worked it into a posted schedule on the website so the players were aware of what we were going to be doing. I flew into Denver and drove up to Cheyenne where I met the GM at the Holiday Inn (a team sponsor).

Working with the Cheyenne Stampede, Jr A Hockey Team

Our first session was at 5PM, but our first stop was practice. I met briefly with Coach Quarters as the players hit the ice. Right after practice we headed to Smart Sports which is where they do strength and conditioning. It’s a great facility with its own medical facility. I met the facility owner and head physician Dr. Skip Ross and the personal trainers and physical therapist. There were a few players getting PT while Ro the personal trainer was killing it with the team doing core and strength work.

Headed to the Arena for my first session with the team

Ceremonial Puck Drop prior to Stampede vs Weber State

Talked a little more with Coach Quarters about my plan and then met the team officially. I was introduced to the team by GM and owner Mark Lantz. GM & coach sat in on introductory session. This is important to establish that what we are doing is important to the team’s success. I’ve often been asked to work with teams and the team coaches and front office more or less go play golf. This hurts the programs credibility as players see it as there is no buy in from staff.

First session Introduction to The Mental Game

Session covered Discipline, Motivation, Stress, Self-talk and how your game is affected by these things. It was a quick intro and meant to get them interested and excited about the coming week. They were also given their first homework. Remember the Coin exercise. (I really need a better name from it).

After our session many of the players had responsibilities to assist with the Stampede Academy. Players work with kids in the community on the ice. Program is run by the coaching staff. There is also study hall for High School players on Monday/Tuesday night so 6 or 8 players were there.

First Relaxation and Imagery Session

I taught players importance of being able to relax. Took them through a relaxation / imagery rehearsal session with emphasis on developing relaxation and visualization ability.

Finally went to dinner at 9:45 with GM and his family.

Coaches Radio Show

10am Wednesday morning I was on the Coaches Radio Show on KRAE-KYOY Radio Cheyenne promoting what we were doing in the community. I actively participate as a full team member when working with a team. After that we got back into the routine with practice and two sessions. One session was on Mental Toughness followed after dinner with a relaxation/imagery session. Focus was on Mental Toughness. I also met with three players at their request during their PT and dry land sessions. These were short sessions focused on individual questions. One was to help a player return to action following a concussion. He was undoubtedly ok to return to play, but still had to pass his cognitive test the next day. I helped reduce his stress and he easily passed the test. To be clear he had been symptom free.

Thursday’s schedule was the same. Focus was on overcoming Stress and Fear in both sessions. Met with six other players individually. Also joined GM, Coach and 4 players at a networking event sponsored by the Cheyenne Chamber of Commerce. While I was there to promote the team I was also able to talk with the players about college and other opportunities they were looking for in the future.

Friday – Game Day

The routine changes today because of the game at 730pm. Met with players at 5 to talk about game day routines and emotional intelligence. At lunch with GM I am told to bring my sport coat. I figure it is team rules like a lot of professional teams. I get to the arena around 630 for game prep. I go into team meeting with players and coaches now as an observer. Players are getting ready, coaches doing last minute preparation. GM tells me I am dropping the ceremonial puck at 7:30. He also hopes I don’t fall on my rear end. This was a surprise and an honor. I’ve done a lot of things, but never got to participate in pregame like this.

Games vs. Weber State

Details are not really important. Stampede wins 5-2. A few lapses in focus and a few in judgment, but I’m told they played better than the week before.

Saturday - Last Sport Psychology session

Last session with players. Used the time to summarize what we had worked on and to emphasize the importance of practicing the skills we have focused on. Weber State came out with more fire. End was similar with score 5-3. Stampede had to step up and did. Winning a couple of pre-season games was not really critical, but playing well is. Winning of course helps athletes realize that the mental work they were putting in this week will serve them well and with winning it is easier to see from the beginning.

During the week I had a lot of time to talk with coaching staff. I got a good feel for what they were trying to do and we talked about some of the ways to integrate mental skills into practice.

Sunday there is a team meeting. I’m asked to say a few words and of course never pass up the opportunity. It is also my chance to shake hands with all of the players and let them know what to expect in their emails in the coming weeks. Copies of my book, mp3’s for Relaxation and Imagery sessions and other exercises.

It was a really good week. Tough week for the players and coaches adding my work in to their regular schedule. Players were very appreciative, as was all of the staff.  We are looking to see I can make the trip out again later in the season. It was one of my favorite weeks with a team. My thanks to Mark and Tammy Lantz, Coaches Marty Quarters, Ty Smith and UAA Goalie coach Scott Johnson and of course all of the players.

Returned to Seattle having worked with and met a lot of people. Typical week in the life of a sport psychology consultant. Maybe next time it will be with your team.

I can be found as always at The Mental Game. The Cheyenne Stampede are a Junior A Minor League Ice Hockey team. To find out more about them check out their site. Can You Hear the rumble?

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So how do sport psychology consultants prepare to go work with a team? I thought it might be instructive to talk about preparing to work with a hockey team from my perspective. I think this is important to understand because there are no cookie cutter programs. Just as one of the very principles I work with athletes is flexibility, I believe that has to be the case with any program put together for a team of any kind. I’ve worked with lots of teams and I assure you it is always different.

My bags are packed and I’m ready to go!

First step is learning about the team. People who believe that sport psychology consultants, sports performance experts, sports hypnotists or any other name you can make up do not have to understand the game are crazy. Yes this is the technical term more of less banned in psychotherapy, but it is easy enough for everyone to understand. The first rule of counseling /coaching in any field begins or ends with rapport. If I’m a poser I will turn off the very people I am trying to help. Does this mean I have to be able to skate or for that matter Pole Vault, of course not. But I should be able to intelligently discuss not only athletic behavior expected but have a pretty good understanding of what it takes for an athlete to compete in their sport. The more I understand the language of a given sport, the better I will relate to a team. I once knew a sport psychologist that was making a presentation to a football team and talked about scoring more runs. I think you understand where I’m going. So it is important to have a good understanding of the activity. I certainly believe over the years being a coach and doing work in exercise physiology has been a huge help. Having been trained to teach 20 plus activities also doesn’t hurt. But I digress.

Gather what I can about the team. Now as I am getting ready to go work with a team where I know the GM and we have had many conversations about his and his staff’s expectation, this is a great start. Learning about the league and in fact the entire program is critical. Knowledge is power and it allows you to create a baseline to work from.

Propose a program to staff for feedback. This almost always comes back as that looks great. Now the hard part; scheduling. Your program looks great, but here are your time constraints. What goes, what stays? How can I work with a moving target. Flexibility and resiliency. Same thing I would teach the athlete.

Now I’m all set. What comes next. Gather materials together for the week. Call comes in don’t forget your sport coat for the Chamber meeting, after all I’m on staff. Yes I told them I wanted to do things like this as well as do some other things in the community, but I’d planned on jeans and warm-ups. Note to self, ask more questions.

Make sure reservations are in order. Last minute (well not really but it’s happened before) I get notice I need to pick up a car instead of being picked up. No problem, I know the way even if I haven’t been there in 27 years.

Check on game results this weekend. Get intel from GM on Monday. Make sure clients know I am out of town. Check with AT&T and make sure they are not lying about 4G in Wyoming. They likely are, but not much I can do.

What else: Make sure software is working on laptop for recordings. Wow- Laptop has crashed. iphone will work. Not ideal, but usable. Glad I checked before I left. I’ll have to go with plan B. Go through list again and see what I missed. Did I ask to have some of the sessions videotaped? Nope. Need to call now.

Everything is set. It does take a lot of preparation to make something like this work best for a team. Lots of experience and always great results because of proper planning. And that is the real lesson for today. It is the lesson I teach to all the teams and athletes I work with. Never underestimate the importance of preparation. Plan to cover everything that might go wrong. If you have it covered, you’ll be in great shape. If it is something on the outside, you have taken care of the really serious issues before hand. Same as teaching players to pack their gear the night before.

I have helped literally thousands of athletes prepare this way for competition. It relieves some of the most stressful situations by planning ahead. We make it into what I call, “No big deal”. If you are a parent of a player you can and should do this in your work / business lives. Think of it this way. How often when you leave on a car trip if you check the tire pressure do you have issues with your tires. That you say is too simplistic, while I argue that those things we attend to rarely go wrong and if they do because we have paid attention, we also have at least a vague idea of a backup plan.

Well I’m through here for the week. I’ll give a general post next week on how the trip worked out. Best laid plans usually promise great results. This is pretty simple. Not all sport psychology is clouded in mystery. Now if you would like to learn a little magic….

The post Even Sport Psychology Consultants prepare appeared first on The Athlete within You.

Are we in this for the long haul? Or are we looking for a quick fix? Mental Game Training takes time and commitment.

Quick vs. Long term Mental Training programs

Recently there has been some discussion on mental training programs among some of us that are practitioners of the dark arts. (You will need to read my book to get the inside joke, as I often refer to my transition from wanting to be a college coach to being persuaded by my mentors to come over to the dark side (Academia and sport psych).

Much of the discussion has been about quick fixes vs. long-term results. Too many people, not just athletes are looking for instant gratification and instant results. When I work with athletes I am helping them get long-term results, but quickly.  No this is not an oxymoron. It is simply that in traditional psychotherapy progress takes place over the long haul. Sport Psychology and mental skills training are not traditional psychotherapy, so I believe we must look at our area a bit differently. Sport Psych is an educational process that uses psychological research, philosophy and technique to help athletes learn to perform at a higher level. It is a process and contrary to some beliefs, magic is not involved.

I am making this point because while I do believe helping athletes is a process, I also believe it is an accelerated one. Think of it from the perspective of the professional athlete. If they are not performing to their own or the management’s expectations, very shortly they are going to be looking for a new job. So mental training needs to have an effect rather quickly or the athlete might not need our services, as unemployed athletes may not need services of this nature. There is not much difference if we consider youth players trying to make the team they want to play on or the adult golfer that would just want to break 85 to make them a more popular business partner on the golf course.

Now I have helped many athletes get past issues in single sessions. I recently worked with a gymnast that could not release from the uneven bars. It took me just 10 minutes to help her with that. She was off and competing at the state level the next day. We spent another 5 weeks making sure that her mental skills were where they needed to be for her journey to Nationals after that. My point is that we can get some instant results, but in order to maintain and yes perform at a higher level, work must be done over a longer period of time. I offer programs in six session packages because that is economically viable for most of my clients. I also offer year programs. The only time I see someone on a single session is to make sure that we are the right fit for each other.

Another reason I work with athletes for longer time periods is because it is easy to give lip service to mental training, but it requires commitment and conviction to make it work for you. Everyone buys into the fact that a huge part of performance at every level is mental, but commitment to following a plan is hard. Go back and re read my “Follow the Coin” offerings. And that is a seven-day test.  Skill improvement takes time and it takes time to see real long-term results.

I’ve often used an analogy to explain resistance to sport psychology by comparing it to physical training with a personal trainer. You use a personal trainer. To make it simple they give you a 10 pound dumbbell and tell you to do 3 sets of 10 twice a week (bicep curls) for two weeks. At the end of the two weeks they hand you a 15 pound dumbbell. Wow you just got stronger. Real results in a relatively short space of time. You see others doing it and they are getting stronger and fitter. Easy!

Now you work with a sport psychology consultant like me. I give you an exercise to practice for the next two weeks (metal exercise). During the week that follows, you notice you are starting to play better. But because you can’t draw a line connecting the dots, your improvement is more difficult to rationalize.

One thing I find interesting is that when you stop doing bicep curls you will shortly get weaker again. Depending on the mental exercise you were being taught, if it had the impact we were looking for, your performance will likely continue in the direction you wanted it to go, given that you stayed with the training long enough for it to have an impact.  Very subtle difference I think you will find. Let’s say it was getting over a small fear. Once you have gotten past that, you are unlikely to head back in that direction.

Another thing with mental training programs to be effective they have more components than one on one consulting sessions. Sometimes there are sessions at practice. Sometimes there are sessions at competitions. There will always be homework exercises to work on until the new mental skills become habituated and the athletes thought processes have improved.

One other benefit of this type of program is accountability. With your coach you are held accountable for what you do during competition and practice. Coaches rarely are in a position to really monitor or focus on an athlete’s mental training and so for the time that an athlete is in a mental training program they are held accountable. This is very important because it reinforces the importance to the athlete to be ever vigilant that they are focused on their mental skills, as well as their physical improvement. In the end this can have a great impact on the athlete’s entire career.

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Getting out of our comfort zones. I’ve been seeing this graphic a lot lately. Photos of people jumping off cliffs, or bubble graphics showing where you are now and where you want to be and the only way to get there is to get out of your COMFORT ZONE.

COMFORT ZONES are a moving target or at least it should be. As you move yourself out of your COMFORT ZONE to become or realize your goals, you will start to get comfortable again. This requires the mentally strong person to continually push themselves into a new level of discomfort. Complacency leads athletes to mediocrity. This is especially true in training camp. You have survived the first few weeks. If you didn’t force yourself out of your COMFORT ZONES certainly your coaches did. Now that you have gotten used to the ebb and flow of practice things are easier and for many this is a time to relax a bit and focus on what you are good at doing. But great athletes never allow themselves to get sucked into the malaise of the COMFORT ZONE. Great athletes are vigilant in their pursuit to continually push themselves out of the COMFORT ZONE to find THE ZONE. THE ZONE is where an athlete plays their best. It is often called PEAK PERFORMANCE and should be every athlete’s ultimate destination. Notice I said destination and not goal. THE ZONE is not something you can set goals for directly, it is the path you travel that gets you there and to get to THE ZONE, you have to pass through your COMFORT ZONES.

One way out of the comfort zone is to …

Now it is easy for people (sometimes coaches) to tell players this is an easy thing to do. It is for some of course, but certainly not for everyone. Having worked with thousands of athletes over the last 30+ years at some very high levels I can tell you at some point the COMFORT ZONES suck most everyone in. You can get out of the COMFORT ZONE in many ways. One exercise I like to use with athletes is using an imagery technique. It is a switch technique. Imagine you are practicing or playing in the COMFORT ZONE. Things are going well for you, but others are working just a little harder. They may be even making a few mistakes, but you are playing safely in the COMFORT ZONE. This seems OK, but you are starting to lose ground.  As you imagine this scenario, notice where you see it. Out in front, to the side, below eye level or above. It doesn’t matter.  Let’s put that aside for a moment. Now imagine a different scene. In this one you are pushing yourself out of your COMFORT ZONE. You are tired, you are trying new things, you are learning and getting better. Now notice where that image is located. Put them up on a huge flat screen TV in their respective places. Turn the COMFORT ZONE image black and white and make it smaller. Now take the out of the COMFORT ZONE image. Make it brighter and bigger. Count to three and switch their relative space on the TV. Fade the COMFORT ZONE completely into oblivion and say to yourself this is where I want to travel. Practice this and make what you see a reality by committing to this image and feeling every time you step out to practice and play. This is a great first step in helping yourself when you have trouble getting out of your COMFORT ZONE. The more we try to learn about ourselves, the more we can move down the path towards peak performance and finding THE ZONE.

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This is the Old Man Story. In writing a good deal to reach out to Junior A Hockey this year. I’ve noticed a number of negative articles related to poor choices players have made news with as of late. This is of course nothing new and since I’ve been helping athletes for three decades you might say I’ve seen quite a bit of it. I thought I would post a story I’ve been telling for perhaps 25+ years. Most every athlete I’ve either worked with on their mental game or coached on the soccer field has heard this. It’s in my book The Athlete within You, but I think it bares repeating here. So if you will indulge me, this is the story I’ve just called THE OLD MAN.

I want to tell you a story. It took place long time ago in a very small village. There was a young man who was a punk (not in the music way or I’ll get in trouble with my sons), if we can call him that; I suppose smart ass is how he would be referred to today. And he had a young friend and he started to talk. “There is an old man in the village who is never ever wrong. He’s a wise old guy and he’s never been wrong in his entire life and we are going to get one over on him.” And then the young man reached into a bush and pulled out a little bird. “I’m going to ask the old man if the bird in my hand is alive or dead. If the old man says the bird is dead, I will open my hand and the bird will fly away. I will be able to say that the old man was wrong. If on the other hand, the old man says that the bird is alive, I will crush the bird in my hand. I’ll open my hand and prove to him that he was wrong for the first time in his life. In this way I will show him he can be wrong and he’s not perfect.” So along comes the old man, and the young brash kids approach him. The boy says, “Hey old man, I have a question for you.” The old man looks at him with a sad smile on his face and he says, “Yes my son, what can I do for you.” The brash young man says “I have here in my hand a bird; you must tell me if it is alive or dead.” The brash young man has a big smile on his face because in his heart of hearts he knows he’s gotten one over on the old man. The old man looks again at him with sad smile on his face. “My son,” the old man says, “the answer lies in your hands.” It’s not just that the wise old man knows that choice is in this young man’s hands. The choice of course is in all of our hands. When we make a decision, when we take an action, in anything we do, we are at choice.

Young men that have the privilege to play sports at any level, though sheer talent or good fortune need understand that everyday choices they make will impact their future. All of us make mistakes in life. Understanding that we are the one’s responsible is an important step in the maturation process. Decide to drink, do drugs, party hard, be promiscuous what ever, the bottom line is it is your choice. I’m not going to stand up and lecture anyone on morality. I’ll leave that to your parents as we all see things differently, but I will be emphatic that every choice has a consequence. Sometimes the result is no result at all, but it is a result. Later this week I’ll dazzle you with Chaos Theory (think Jurassic Park), but for now understand what The Old Man has said. It’s in your hands!

Since you’ve gotten this far I’d like you to note that for today August 30, 2012 I have a promotion on Amazon where I am giving away free copies of The Athlete within You Kindle Addition. All you need to do is click on the following link and follow the instructions.

http://www.amazon.com/Athlete-Within-Approach-Business-ebook/dp/B008O5I654/ref=tmm_kin_title_0

post script

credit on the picture is Max Margolies, my father. He would have been 95 this Dec 25th.  Picture was just before his passing prior to his 90th birthday. I won’t say he was the model for the story, nor will I admit to being the smart ass kid. But there are some similarities.

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I just read an article about the failings of sports psychology. So I need to respond. It’s been an interesting week as a sport psychology consultant. I’ve had a couple of clients take part in major competitions and do well. I even got acknowledgement from them, their families and some of their coaches that a good part of their high level performance was due to their new skills that they learned from me.  (there is a point here) 

I also worked with a reluctant client. My definition of this type of client is one who knows they need some help, just do not believe sport psychology really has anything to offer. They just believed they were not mentally tough enough to deal with competitive anxiety. This person was goaded by a friend to at least give sport psychology (and me) a chance. (another point).

The rest of the week was pretty much normal with clients preparing for their seasons, some speaking gigs and meeting.

I want to tell a story first.

I am reminded of one last story and feel compelled to share. It is about a major steam ship that is at anchor here in the Puget Sound. It is broken. Something is wrong on this billion-dollar ship with its millions of dollars of cargo. It is costing the shipping line $50,000 a day to be stuck just outside Seattle. Unable to move the captain is desperate for a solution. They call all around the area and try several ship mechanics to no avail. One of them finally tells the captain he should call Hiram. Hiram is an old mechanic and semi-retired. He answers the call. Hiram goes down into the engine area and looks around. He listens and listens some more, standing very still. The captain and his head mechanic start to think they are simply wasting more time.

Suddenly, or at least as suddenly as an old man moves, the master mechanic moves over to one of the pipes. He takes out a hammer and bangs it once at the elbow. The engines start up immediately. Everyone is thrilled. They congratulate Hiram and themselves for being smart enough to call him in.

They then ask him what they owe him for his 15 minutes. He tells them $50,000. $50,000 they say for 15 minutes, that’s crazy. Write it out for us, they demanded. What is the entire bill for? He takes a piece of paper and simple puts down two lines. $1,000 for hitting the pipe. $49,000 for knowing where to strike.

Yes, knowledge is important but equally important is imagination in applying knowledge. I’ve met a lot of people, worked with many and a great deal of them know, absolutely know, what to do in lots of situations. Just as we needed those really good teachers when we were growing up, sometimes we need help to fill in the gaps, so we can be successful.

Late in the week through two social media outlets I got two references that both said the same thing more or less. The first was by some guy trying to sell a book and the other was by a psychotherapists turned sport psychology consultant. The gist of both posts were nearly identical. “Most Sport Psychology Consultants Stink, and Here’s Why”. 

The guy selling the book decided that the failure of sport psychology was because sport psychology consultants were over complicating the process and they didn’t know the secret to great performance. He of course did. He had learned it from an old monk at the top of a mountain in Nepal. Actually that is my small joke. He learned it from a tennis coach and now applies it to all sports and all situations.

So what did I do. I did in fact what he was after. I bought his eBook. After all I wanted to find out where I have failed for 30+ years. I also wanted to see what he was using. I have said many times I am willing to beg, borrow, steal (jk) and learn any technique that will in fact help the athletes I work with. What was in the book was not new, just presented in a different way. What it didn’t do was apply across the board. No way it works in all sports. I have not decided if it is worth my time to confront the author. I’m curious how he would answer how an athlete using this technique would fair when a 230 pound safety buries a shoulder in the quarterback from the blind side. Don’t get me wrong. The technique works in certain situations, but it is just part of the answer for certain athletes.

The other post by the Psy.D has some intriguing points. The points are true even if his allegation is overly broad. Of course I should point out that these points are true for many professions. Here is what he says to start.

“Most Sport Shrinks (or, those claiming expertise in working with athletes on psychological aspects of sport competition) suck.”   ”What I have come to conclude in my experience as a sport psychology consultant, is that most professionals in this line of work are not worth the money they charge.”

This is of course a pretty directed attack. He is saying everyone else sucks but me. He does however make three interesting assertions.

• They make it about them
• They lack the necessary skills/experience
• They lack interpersonal skills

I have no issue with these assertions. I feel the same way when I talk with lawyers, doctors, financial consultants, sales people, dentists and computer people (perhaps with many of these we forgive the lack of interpersonal skills). My point is we do business with and seek help from those we have Rapport.  Rapport occurs when two or more people feel that they are in sync or on the same wavelength because they feel similar or relate well to each other. I’ve known a great many people, sport psychology consultants, coaches and just people off the street that could help people with their performance simply because or rapport. Milton Erickson the great psychotherapists and hypnotist was known for his ability to establish rapport with just about anyone. I’ve studied him not just for his techniques, but how he was able to work with everyone and get results.

Yes, when interviewing a sport psychology consultant you should listen to see if everything they say is about them. If the first things they show you are their press clipping, do consider that.  But you also need to consider that they are running a business, so some of it has to be about them.

Do you want to know their experience/ skills? Absolutely.  I’d stay away from the one trick pony. Not every technique fits every athlete. Note my comments at the beginning.

When you talk with them do you get a good feeling in your gut? That is part of Rapport.

So when choosing to work with a sport psychology consultant here are the three things I find most important.

Rapport
Experience/ Skills / Flexibility
Imagination

Not everyone is a Milton Erickson, not even me (though I can dream). With some people I fail to establish rapport and they are better off finding someone else to work with. It is one of the reasons working with teams is so challenging. Why buy in from everyone is so important.

I hope you found this useful. I had to respond somewhere. Having fought for so long to show the efficacy of what we do (what I do) in helping athletes achieve their goals it’s hard enough when those outside try to diminish what we do, but when it comes from the inside to further their own goals, I get a little sideways. Ah to get them out on the football field.

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I had decided to do something very much like this relative to the Olympics, perhaps more directed at business, when I got a response to the book review in the Issaquah Press. This blog site has been followed by OnlineCollege.org for the last few years. They asked if I would like to post a recent staff post they had written about what career lesson from the London 2012 Olympic Games. Most of the attributes discussed  sport psychology focuses on with the athletes we work with, so I think it is appropriate. So here it is in it’s entirety.

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Author interview Mike Margolies and The Athlete within You

You can purchase The Athlete within You- a mental approach to sports & business by clicking on the title.

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