How do you feel about saying “no?” I notice that saying “no” to certain people and in some situations can be challenging for me. Sometimes I find myself saying “yes” when “no” would really be more authentic. More covertly, I also find myself at times giving “half-truths” (which is quite an oxymoron if you think about it) to people when they present me with opportunities, engage with me about connecting, etc. You know what I mean, you run into someone and say, “We should really get together sometime,” but you really have very little interest in or commitment to making that happen. Does this ever happen to you?

What is it about saying “no” that many of us have a hard time with? For me, it comes down to a few specific things. First of all, I get scared that people will get upset or disappointed if I say “no.” Second, I’m not a huge fan of hearing “no” from others myself, so being the one saying it can be difficult for me. And lastly, I consider myself to be “yes” type of person. I pride myself on being open, willing, and ready to say “yes” at all times. In other words, “no” often seems like a failure, an admission of weakness, or just an overall negative thing to say.

However, saying “no” is one of the most important aspects of living a life filled with balance, integrity, and authenticity. Our ability and capacity to say “no” with confidence is one of the most important aspects of creating peace and power in our lives. This is about creating healthy boundaries, honoring ourselves, and being real – it’s not about being closed, cynical, or unwilling.

The majority of people I know, especially these days, live their lives with a feeling of “overwhelm” that either runs them or at least gets in their way from time to time. If you think of the aspects of your life where you feel most overwhelmed, stressed out, or ineffective - there is probably a theme going on - you haven’t said “no” when you needed to. If you also think about any relationships in your life where these is stress, struggle, or conflict - you saying “no” with honesty and kindness is also probably missing.

When we don’t say “no” in an authentic way we end up feeling burdened, resentful, and even victimized (although, ironically, we forget that we are the ones who said “yes” in the first place).

Saying “no” does have real consequences. Sometimes we will upset, disappoint, or annoy people. We also may have a significant amount of fear about saying “no” to certain people (our spouse, boss, co-worker, friend, child, etc.) or in certain situations (at work, with clients, with our in-laws, and more).

However, there are huge benefits to us enhancing our capacity and comfort with “no.” Tapping into the power of “no” creates freedom, liberation, and a real sense of trust with the people in our lives. When we’re someone that says “yes” when we mean it and “no” when we mean it - others know they can count on us to be real, tell the truth, and come through.

And, when we “no” with confidence, honesty, and compassion, we do one of the best things we can possibly do to honor and appreciate ourselves.

(For some specific tips and additional information, click on this link for this week’s audio message.)

How do you feel about saying “no?” What can you do to enhance your ability and capacity to say “no” with confidence and ease? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “The Power of No” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “The Art of Allowing” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

A few months ago I got some specific feedback that it would serve me, my work, and my growth to start practicing the art of allowing in a more conscious and deliberate way. While I was familiar with the concept of allowing, I realized I had very little awareness or experience of it in actual practice.

As I looked more deeply at it, I realized that I had a judgment about the whole concept of “allowing.” It had always seemed weak, passive, lazy, or based on “luck” to me. I’ve always prided myself on being a hard worker, a “go-getter,” and someone who “makes things happen.” However, as I have recently come to realize - much of this has to do with a deep-seeded fear that if I ever slow down, stop pushing so hard, or simply expect things to just show up with ease - the whole “house of cards” of my life and my work will simply come crashing down around me. Can you relate?

Allowing, however, is an essential aspect of life and growth - as well as of our success and fulfillment. The first aspect of allowing has to do with us accepting things as they are. As author and teacher Byron Katie says, “When you argue with reality, you lose - but only 100% of the time.”

When we’re able to allow people, things, and situations to be as they are - without judging them, trying to fix them, or wanting to change them - we begin to tap into the immense power of allowing. Ironically and somewhat paradoxically, when we truly allow things and people to be exactly as they are, we open up a space for real change and transformation to occur (if that is what we want).

The deeper aspect of allowing has to do with us trusting, being patient, and having faith that what we want to manifest, create, and experience can and will show up in our lives as it is meant to. In other words, it’s an ability to allow things to happen and materialize, without us having to manipulate, dominate, or control other people or situations to make it happen. For those of us, myself included, who have a tendency to be control-freaks at times - this can be incredibly challenging.

The paradox that exists with allowing runs deep within us. So many of us were taught and believe “if it is to be, it’s up to me.” And while there is truth and wisdom in this philosophy, as many of us know, feeling as though we have to work hard, run fast, keep up, and make everything happen in our lives is exhausting and insatiable. No matter how hard we work, what we try to fix, or all of the changes we intend to make - if we don’t learn, practice, and ultimately master the art of allowing - true success and fulfillment will always elude us. Action is important, but we have to also learn to balance it out with our ability to allow.

Allowing takes faith, patience, and trust - three things that are essential for our own peace of mind and well-being in life, but are often not things we focus on, learn about, or are encouraged to practice in our intense, fast-paced, results oriented culture. The art of allowing is truly an art and is something that often goes against the grain and runs contrary to societal norms and pressures. It has to do with us remembering, as the well-known saying goes, “We’re human beings, not human doings.”

Here are a few things to think about and practice as you enhance your capacity and ability to allow with more ease in your life.

1) Ask yourself how you relate to the concept of “allowing.” Take some inventory of your own relationship this idea. How do you feel about it? How comfortable are you allowing things and people to be as they are, as well as allowing things to manifest with ease in your life? For many of us, this is something that we may understand, but may not practice. Tell the truth to yourself about how you relate to allowing and notice how this impacts your life - one way or another.

2) Pay attention to what you focus on in regards to your biggest goals and aspirations. In regards to the biggest goals, dreams, and aspirations in your life right now - how much of your attention and energy is focused on doing and how much is focused on allowing? While both doing and allowing are important, most of us put a disproportionate amount of attention on action. Increasing our focus on allowing and ultimately receiving, can be a magical, relaxing, and incredibly effective way for us to relate to our goals and dreams. This is often one of the big missing pieces in our desire for not only success, but more important, fulfillment.

3) Create an allowing practice. This is a simple practice you can do daily (like prayer, meditation, quiet reflection, affirmation, etc.) where you put your attention and awareness on allowing - accepting things as they are, trusting that things are working out as they are meant to, believing that the feelings, experiences, accomplishments, and outcomes you desire are on their way, and allowing yourself to receive these gifts and blessings with ease and gratitude. You may need to reach out to others for support, guidance, and feedback about creating or deepening an allowing practice that will work for you - but doing this is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself (as well as to those around you).

Have fun with this and have compassion with yourself as well. For most of us, allowing is a lot easier to think about or talk about than it actually is to practice and embody in our lives. The more attention we put on it, however, the easier it gets. And, as we deepen our ability and our capacity to allow - our whole life can transform with ease, grace, and gratitude!

How are you at allowing? What can you do to allow things to be as they are and also allow things to show up with ease in your life? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “Who Do You Think You Are?” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

Sometimes when I’m about to take a big risk, go for something important, or “step out” in a bold way in my life, I notice the judgmental question, “Who do you think you are?, will pop up in my head.  Does this ever happen to you?

This is one of the many ways that the feelings of “not good enough” or “unworthy” show up in our lives and get in the way of our success, fulfillment, and authenticity.  Sadly, as most of us know, this question doesn’t come from our true self; it comes from our “Gremlin” – that little monster in our head whose only job is to keep us out of perceived danger.  The more we listen to our Gremlin, the more allow him or her to sabotage our life.

However, this question, “Who do you think you are?, while often asked in a negative, critical way and something that we allow to stop us from doing, saying, and going for important things in life - is also a very important question for us to ask and answer honestly.  When we look at it on deeper level, we see that our answer to this question has a lot to do with how we experience life, in general.

How life is for us has a lot less to do with our circumstances or situations, and much more to do with how we relate to them and ultimately the thoughts we have.  Some of the most powerful thoughts we think and the ones that have the most impact on us are the thoughts we have about ourselves (i.e. who we think we are).

Each of us has a “story” about ourselves and our lives.  These stories are often dramatic, funny, scary, inspiring, sad, intense, boring, enjoyable, tragic, and more (usually a combination of many of these things).  In most cases, the story we have about ourselves changes a bit – depending on how we’re feeling about life and ourselves at any given time.

One of the things we sometimes forget, however, is that we’re the author of the story of our life – not simply the main character.  We often think that our story has to do with all of the things that have “happened” to us, the qualities we were born with or have cultivated, the stuff we’ve done or haven’t done yet, etc.  But, when we remember that our story is a function of our thoughts, most specifically the thoughts we have about ourselves, we can be empowered to consciously transform not just our “story,” but our life as a whole.

Here are a few things to think about and do to enhance your thoughts about yourself, and therefore enhance your experience of life:

1)  Notice when your feelings of “not good enough” or “unworthy” show up – In other words, pay attention to when the question, “Who do you think you are?” stops you in your tracks and takes you out of the game of your life.  As we’re able to notice this, be honest about, and have some compassion for ourselves, we can take our power back from our Gremlin in those moments and step more fully into who we really are.

2)  Ask yourself more deeply, “Who do you think you are?” – Go deeper with this question, beyond the judgment and really inquiry into how you relate to yourself.  What’s your story?  The more honest we can be about the story we have about ourselves, the easier it is for us to acknowledge it, own it, and ultimately change it.  Remember, these stories are not “true,” they are simply our interpretations, judgments, and beliefs.  We created them, so we have the power to transform them at any time.

3)  Upgrade your “story” about yourself – In the specific areas of your life where your story is not empowering, inspiring, or fulfilling – see if you’re willing and able to “upgrade” it in an authentic way.  This basically means we change our thoughts, words, and feelings about it, genuinely.  Because we often get so attached to our stories and tend to defend them passionately, this “upgrading” process can be challenging for many of us.  It sometimes takes support, feedback, and coaching from others in order for us to move beyond our story and remember that we have the power to upgrade it whenever we’re ready.

Who we think we are is one of the most foundational aspects of how we relate to life and ourselves.  As Henry Ford said in his famous quote, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”   This simple quote is so wise and profound.  And, whether we think we’re great or we’re not, we’re always “right” – it’s a function of who we truly think we are.

Who do you think you are? How can you “upgrade” the story you have about yourself in a way that will inspire and empower you? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “The Magic of the Olympics” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

The Winter Olympics in Vancouver have captured the attention of the world. As a former college and professional baseball player (and a lifelong sports fan), I’ve always loved the Olympics and appreciated the incredible athleticism, competition, and passion of the athletes and teams, from a pure sports perspective. However, having been a live spectator at both the Atlanta and Sydney Summer Games, I’ve experienced first-hand the true spirit of the Olympics – which has been on display these past two weeks in Vancouver in a beautiful way.

There’s something truly magical that happens during the Olympics. While many of us are enjoying rooting for our country and we’ve seen some remarkable performances in Vancouver from people like Lindsey Vonn, Shaun White, Evan Lysacek, Bode Miller, and many others – the real magic of the Olympics is way bigger than any individual athlete or even any country. And, if we look deeper, there are so many aspects of the Olympics that can teach us, remind us, and inspire us on our own personal journey.

Here are some of the most important elements and lessons of the Olympics:

1) Ceremony. The Opening Ceremonies in Vancouver were breathtaking and spectacular (as was also true with the Summer Olympics in China in 2008 and with most of the Olympic opening ceremonies of the past few decades). Beyond the amazing technology, creativity, and spectacle of these ceremonies, there is a deeper commitment to beauty, ritual, and reverence. The Olympics are also filled with ceremonies throughout – medal ceremonies, the Closing Ceremonies, and more. For us to live lives of meaning, purpose, and spirit – it’s essential that we honor ourselves, others, and life in a ceremonious way.

2) Excellence. The Olympics, as much as any other sporting event, are all about excellence. The intense training, incredible competition, and extraordinary pressure of having to focus a lifetime’s worth of experience into one single performance, create an authentic sense of drama that is unique and exciting, albeit nerve-wracking. However, when we think of “excellence” in regards to the Olympics or other things in life, we often think about “winning.” While there’s nothing wrong with winning and our culture puts a high value on it (just look at the attention and adulation given to the gold medal winners in Vancouver), there is much more to real excellence than simply winning. Every athlete in Vancouver has made a commitment to excellence – even though the vast majority of them will not win medals and we’ll never even know their names. On our own path, it’s important for us to make a commitment to excellence – to go for it, dig down deep, and give it our best shot – whether or not we end up “winning.”

3) Passion. The Olympics are filled with passion – from the athletes, the host city, and the fans – in person and around the world. The emotions experienced and expressed during the Olympics, as we’ve seen these past two weeks, are intense and passionate. We’ve seen the “thrill of victory” and the “agony of defeat” on display each and every day. It’s this passion that makes the Olympics so intriguing, exciting, and fun to experience. In our own lives and on our own journeys, passion is a key component to growth, success, and fulfillment. So often we hold back our passion – waiting to see how things will turn out. However, to live life with depth, purpose, and aliveness, we have to tap into our passion in an authentic way and use it as inspiration, regardless of the outcome.

4) Play. One of the greatest things about the Olympics is that they are called “games.” This is a wonderful metaphor which reminds us that while sports (and life) can be intense and pressure-filled, they are really just games we are playing. The games played at the Olympics, not un-like in many aspects of our own lives, are played at a pretty high level and are done so with fairly high stakes. But, at the end of the day, they are all just games. Each athlete in Vancouver started in their sport as a child because it was fun, not because they wanted to win a gold medal, be on TV, or get big endorsement deals. This is a great reminder for all of us. We often get so serious and caught up in results, we forget to play. Play is essential. Scientific studies have shown that the same brain waves are generated in a high state of play as in a high state of meditation.

5) Unity. The athletes at the Olympics come together to represent their countries and to compete for something bigger than themselves. I had the privilege of playing for the USA baseball team in the World Championships when I was 18 years old. It was one of the greatest honors of my life and such a profound experience. And although in the Olympics there is a big focus, especially by the media, on individual performances as well as country competition (i.e. medal count), at the deepest level, the Olympics are about a greater sense of unity amongst all nations. There is a sense of mutual respect, admiration, and appreciation that exists at the Olympics – both with athletes and fans. I felt it on the streets of Atlanta and Sydney when I was there and see it on TV whenever I watch the Olympics now. The Olympics provide a stage for the world to engage, compete, and interact with one another in a beautiful way. One of the most important elements of our personal journey is to recognize that we are more alike than we are different. Those whom we compete against, have conflict with, and want to “beat,” are just people, like us, who have similar hopes, fears, and dreams. At the most basic and yet profound level, we are all one. Anything and everything we can do to see, remember, and remind ourselves and others of this innate unity – gives us access to deeper connection and truth.

I love the Olympics! Not only do we get to watch extraordinary athletes complete at the highest level – but we get to tap into something profound and magical that can remind us of our true power, passion, and oneness.

Have you been following the Winter Olympics in Vancouver? What have you noticed about them that inspires you and can help remind you about important aspects of your own life and growth? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Like millions of people around the world, I recently saw the new James Cameron film Avatar. While I was blown away by the visual beauty, the out-of-this world effects, and the revolutionary technology of the movie, it was the deeper message of Avatar that had the biggest impact on me.

As someone who sometimes arrogantly criticizes “mainstream” culture for being too shallow or not “getting it,” I was both humbled and inspired watching this film – knowing that its direct and indirect messages of awareness and interconnectedness are not only being shown to millions all over the world, but that there is an intense hunger and desire for them (as evidenced by its record-breaking success).

As a culture we are waking up on so many levels. With all that is going on in our country and our world these days, many of us are asking deeper, more meaningful questions about life, work, money, relationships, peace, our planet, and so much more. Many of these important issues were addressed directly and profoundly in Avatar. When I left the theatre, not only did I feel that I’d just seen an incredible movie, I felt as though my life had been impacted and altered in a positive way.

The film is a wake-up call – reminding us of the dangers of greed, unconsciousness, disconnection, insensitivity, violence, and arrogance, both globally and personally. It’s also a bold call for each of us to re-connect with that which is most sacred to us, to focus on what truly matters, and to remember how connected we are to each other, all living beings, and the environment in which we live.

Three of the most important messages we can take away from Avatar and use in our own life, work, and relationships are:

1) Honor the sacred - A central theme of the film is the way in which the Na’vi (the native species of the moon Pandora where the story takes place) honor the sacredness of their land – specifically Hometree (where they live) and the Tree of Souls (where they worship). They have a deep sense of reverence for these important places and for all of Pandora.

How well do you honor your own space? How much reverence do you hold for where you live, where you work, where you eat, the planet, and more? So often we forget that the “sacredness” of any place is more about how we relate to it, than about the space itself. We have the ability to bring a sense of sacredness to anywhere we are, at any time.

2) Connect with Spirit - The Na’vi worship a mother goddess called Eywa. Eywa is the center of the Na’vi’s universe and their reverence for her is displayed in a beautiful and palpable way throughout the film. In all that the Na’vi do, there is a direct connection back to their relationship with Eywa. There are breathtaking scenes in the film showing large groups of Na’vi chanting and praying around the Tree of Souls – as a way to honor, connect with, and access Eywa’s power, wisdom, and love.

How consciously do you connect with Spirit in your own life? We often get so busy that we don’t take the time to connect with Spirit in a deliberate and meaningful way in our daily lives. We also sometimes get too caught up in the external – thinking we have to go to a specific service or gathering, practice a particular form of prayer or meditation, or do something else externally in order to tap into our connection to Spirit. While any of these practices can be important, none of them are necessary – we can connect with Spirit at any time, in any place, and for any reason.

3) Remember our interconnectedness - The way the Na’vi live in harmony with their land and all living creators is one of the most profound and awe-inspiring elements of Avatar. There is a deep respect and appreciation for all living creators and for all elements of nature that the Na’vi truly embody. A great example of this is how the Na’vi warriors bond with their Banshees (the four-winged creatures they fly around on). Once they bond – which they do both physically and energetically – they are bonded for life and work together as one. The first few scenes in the film where we see the Na’vi warriors connect with their Banshees literally took my breath away and had a visceral impact on me as I sat in the theater.

How consciously interconnected do you feel towards other people, living creatures, and our planet in your daily life? It’s so easy for us to get caught up in the illusion of separateness – we think, talk, and are reminded of all the ways in which we are different, disconnected, and isolated from one another, living creators, and the earth all the time. However, most of us have had experiences in our lives where we’ve felt a deep sense of interconnectedness – not just with people we know and love, but with all of life. In those moments, we’ve seen, felt, and touched the depth of our true nature. When we consciously tap into this, we remember that at the deepest level – we are all one.

Avatar is a film that not only broke new ground in film making technology, visual effects, and box-office success – it’s a movie that challenges us in a personal way to remember who we really are and why we’re truly here.

Have you seen Avatar yet? What did you think? Whether or not you’ve seen the film, how can you bring more interconnection, spirit, and sacredness into your life, work, and relationships? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “A Deeper Look at Avatar” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com