As I was perusing through the MLB headlines this afternoon, trying to find any baseball news during this All-Star break, I came across this one near the bottom:

Hideo Nomo, who pitched a pair of no-hitters and led a rush of Japanese players to the major leagues, is finished.

Nomo announced his retirement Thursday, agent Don Nomura said. Once known for a deceptive delivery and a devastating forkball, the 39-year-old Nomo was released by the Kansas City Royals in late April.

I was going to spend the evening writing an article reflecting on Nomo’s career and then I remembered: I already did it!  So, instead of rehashing, I’ll just re-link to the article and hopefully it brings you back some of the great memories The Tornado provided. Even though his retirement came 4 years too late, he was really something special to watch in his heyday.

So long, Hideo.

- Vin

Well, I promised a MSTI announcement today, and here it is: MSTI’s hitting the road. That’s right, no time like the present to do something completely ridiculous, and for me, that means joining a band that needs a bass player and going on a 2.5 week summer tour. (Shameless plug, if you’re anywhere in the east half of the country and you like some poppy rock goodness, the dates are right here). Because, why the hell not?

Of course, they’re not going to pause the baseball season while I’m gone (…they won’t, right?) and while I admit the timing is particularly lousy with the trading deadline coming up, we’ll still keep things going around here. We’ll still have updates from Vin and perhaps some special guests - maybe not as often as we’ve been posting lately, but safe to say if anything major happens, we’ll be here discussing it.

So enjoy Vin’s reign of terror while I’m away, and play nice. More regular posting will resume when I return the first week of August, unless Matt Kemp has been traded to the Mets for Luis Castillo, Jorge Sosa, and a handful of magic beans, in which case I’ll probably have pulled the tour van into a ditch somewhere in Ohio.

Go Dodgers!

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness

A little truncated due to life getting in the way, a final look back at the first half of 2008.

Overall (D+)
It’s hard to look at this (a little more than) half a season as anything but a disappointment so far. There’ve been bright spots, sure. The 8 game winning streak. The amazing arrival of Blake DeWitt, and the continued ascendence of Russell Martin and Chad Billingsley. The incredible resurgence of Chan Ho Park, and the finally healthy Hong-Chih Kuo, plus the pleasant surprises of Cory Wade and Hiroki Kuroda. But the fact is, the team has still lost three more than they’ve won, and saying “well they’re only one game out” obviously speaks a whole lot more to the crapulence of the NL West than it does to the success of the Dodgers. In the AL East, they’d be 10 out and tied for last place; in the NL Central they’d be 11 back.

Worse, it’s hard to point the finger at any one player or cause for the mediocrity this season. We’ve seen an nearly unprecedented amount of injuries decimate the team (too many to list, but especially Furcal and now Saito); we’ve seen young players like Ethier, Loney, and Kemp be good but not all that great; we’ve seen young players be complete disasters (Hu, and DeWitt since June 1); we’ve seen expensive veteran players be below their usual lousy average (Pierre); we’ve seen a veteran try to be the Worst Offensive Player in History (Jones); we’ve had usually reliable vets completely crap the bed (Penny, Proctor, Kent); and we’ve had confounding decisions by the manager (insisting Pierre is great, using Falkenborg in tight spots) and the front office (allowing Sweeney to have a role, possibly botching trades due to politics). Not only that, but the first game of the “second half” hasn’t even been played yet, and already the Dodgers have lost their closer for at least 4-6 weeks.

All that said… they’ve still got a shot. I completely agree that they don’t deserve to be one game out, that they ought to be floundering in 3rd or 4th place looking to sell some pieces off. But you know what? Thanks to the Diamondbacks, the Dodgers still have as good a chance as anyone to make the playoffs. And once you’re there, they don’t penalize you for how badly you backed in (see: 2006 St. Louis Cardinals.)

So what’s it going to take? First of all, some good news on the health front. Give me Furcal back for September, give me the miracle of Jason Schmidt coming back with any sort of effectiveness. Give me something - this team deserves it. Second, at least one of the young players is going to have to step it up besides Martin. James Loney, please pick up the white courtesy phone! Third, Ned Colletti’s going to have to resist the urge to deal talented young players for a short-term veteran fix. And finally, either Andruw Jones is going to have to approach decency… or Joe Torre’s going to have to have the cojones to just cut the rope and sit him down.

It might not be pretty. But at least there’s still a pennant race to look forward to. Go Blue.

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness

We interrupt our midseason review (don’t forget to check out the pitching recap posted earlier today) to bring you what may in fact be the most horrifying thing you’ll ever see. Normally when readers bring something to my attention, I thank them for reading and sending something interesting my way. But not today, friends. Today we can all blame Cory F. for forwarding me this crime against humanity from Mark Kriegel at FOXsports.com.

To this point, Major League Baseball has seen some nice stories. The rise of Tampa Bay (never mind the recent slump) comes first to mind. Josh Hamilton, sober with 95 RBI at the break, is an inspiration. What’s more, fans can take heart in the fact that his teammate and fellow All-Star, Milton Bradley, has limited himself to just a single anger management issue. There’s also, as my father the purist likes to point out, “the continued resurgence of the most beautiful play in the game — the triple.”

Exactly. The truth is, it’s been a little boring this summer. The season has been lacking in debate. And isn’t that the whole point with baseball, to give you and your friends and your father something to argue about?

So admit it. You miss him.

I’m talking about Barry Bonds, of course

Mark Kriegel is bored that Josh Hamilton has turned his life around to be an inspiration for thousands. Mark Kriegel can barely keep his eyes awake now that Milton Bradley is only hitting fastballs and not teammates. Tampa Bay leading the AL East after 10 years of crapitude? Snooooze. No, Mark Kriegel wants a villain. So basically, he’d be better off watching Batman movies rather than paying attention to what’s shaping up to be a very interesting MLB season.

And not only does Kriegel want Bonds back… he wants him on the Dodgers.

Still, there’s one best place for Bonds: the Los Angeles Dodgers. Now that would be fun. First, he’d be reunited with Jeff Kent. Plus, it would give St. Joe Torre a chance to really earn his money, and tell everybody how Barry just wants to win and winning is the only thing that matters to him at this stage of his career.

How great would that be? If Torre could get people to believe that Roger Clemens bled pinstripe blue, he shouldn’t have much of a problem gentling the perception of Bonds. Besides, once more, it makes baseball sense.

No. This wouldn’t be fun. Have you really not noticed all the BS floating around this team already? Between questions over front office politics, young players vs. old, and Bill Plaschke vs. everyone, this team’s already got enough issues without Barry Bonds. Now, I realize that the success of the Dodgers isn’t as important to Kriegel as being entertained, but he’s really coming off as the kind of guy who stands on the side of the highway and prays for car wrecks. For a moment, I was ready to write this article off as just All-Star Break fluff, but then he starts in on how it “makes baseball sense”:

Despite a $119 million payroll, the Dodgers rank 26th in runs scored. What’s more, they’re down to basically three outfielders — Matt Kemp, Andruw Jones and Andre Ethier. Oh, my bad. I forgot the 19 games played by the inestimable Delwyn Young.

I haven’t really talked about it much on the blog, but I’ve generally agreed with the idea that there’s some team that Barry Bonds could help this year. A team that’s close to the playoffs that could use an offensive boost; a team that has a hole to fill at LF or DH; a team that’s used to daily media pressure; a team that has a strong clubhouse. At the moment, I think the two obvious choices there are the Mets and Yankees, two teams with struggling offenses and huge holes in the OF corners, who play under the NYC media insanity every day.

But the Dodgers? No. First of all, there’s the fact that Bonds is probably hated in Los Angeles more than anywhere else, due in part to the longtime Dodgers/Giants rivalry and partly due to how much damage Bonds personally did to the Dodgers over the years.

Look, there’s no question the Dodgers need some help on offense, but other than that, they don’t fill my above requirements. They’ve already had clubhouse/front office issues they don’t need to add to, but more importantly, it doesn’t make sense from a baseball standpoint. Kriegel somehow forgets the existence of Juan Pierre (oh, how I envy you), who’s supposed to be back in two weeks. So say the Dodgers sign Bonds. What then? You put him in LF, Jones in CF and… Pierre in RF? With both Kemp and Ethier to the bench or traded? That might be the worst defensive outfield in the history of Major League Baseball. The possible improvement on offense is in no way worth what it would bring with it on defense.

If you want to talk about Bonds in LF, Kemp in CF, and Ethier in RF… well, maybe you’ve got something there. But we all know that would never happen, so it’s not even worth discussing.

And finally, I want to give you fair warning here. There’s another reason I discussed this article and it has nothing to do with anything that Mark Kriegel just wrote. There’s something else contained within…

… it’s truly awful.

You’ve been warned.

 It’s worse than you think.

Last chance!

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness

After dissecting the mess that is the offense, on to much happier subjects: the pitching. With some exceptions, the pitching has been excellent so far, carrying this team where the offense has let it down.

Remember, the grades reflect the performance of the player compared to what reasonably could have been expected of them at the beginning of the year. Less than 10 IP gets you an “incomplete”.

Starters
Chad Billingsley (9-8, 3.25) (A)
Ace. Not “going to be an ace”. Not “potential to be an ace.” Ace. I mean, he’s third in all of baseball in strikeouts behind only two other certified aces, C.C. Sabathia and Tim Lincecum, despite having 21 and 13 fewer IP, respectively. His 3.25 ERA is 11th in the NL, and that’s even though he had a 5.20 ERA in April due to his being jerked around in his first three appearances around rain delays and relief stints. (Relive that terror here.) He still needs to work on keeping the pitch count down and getting deeper into games, but just in case you forgot: he’s 23 years old and he’s already one of the best pitchers in baseball. Enjoy watching this kid for the next ten years.

Derek Lowe (7-8, 3.45) (B+)
Death, taxes, and Derek Lowe, right? Look at Lowe’s WHIPs in his 4 years in LA: 1.252, 1.266, 1.269, 1.226. Look at his ERAs: 3.61, 3.63, 3.88, 3.85. The man has become a model of consistency - although thanks to the Dodgers’ lousy offensive attack, he’s on pace for this third losing season out of four. This year, though, Lowe actually made it interesting, sandwiching excellent months of April (2.88) and June (2.81) around a brutal May (6.11). Yet he still ends up almost exactly where he’s always been. Say what you will about Paul DePodesta, but the deal he signed Lowe to ended up being an absolute steal.

Hiroki Kuroda (5-6, 3.42) (A)
It’s appropriate that Kuroda comes after Lowe, because while Kuroda’s been surprisingly good, he’s also been amazingly inconsistent. I think we’re all thrilled with the 128 ERA+ from a unknown Japanese import, but who’d have imagined how he’d come by it? In just his last 6 outings, he’s had two complete game shutouts (first by a Dodger since Lowe in 2005) plus another 7 shutout inning effort - but also two 6-run games in which he couldn’t get out of the 3rd inning. On the plus side, both of those stinkers came before his short stint on the DL, and he’s been nails ever since.

This man needs a better nickname. I’ve seen “Rusty” and “Hero” floating around, but I’m not sure how I feel about either.

Brad Penny (5-9, 5.88) (F)
Ugh. The supposed “ace” coming into the season - he did start the All-Star Game last year - has been on the DL since June 17, and he was probably hurt for quite a while before that. On June 1, I put forth the idea that Penny had a very good April and a lousy May, so it wasn’t time to panic based on one bad month. Of course, it only got worse and then he went on the DL. Fortunately, the starting depth has been excellent, because there’s not too many teams who can weather the loss of their opening day starter and improve, but it does sort of muddy his future. He’s still got that team option for $8.75 next year which I still feel you simply have to pick up (as long as he can return and show any sort of effectiveness), but it’s hardly a given anymore.

Clayton Kershaw (0-2, 4.42) (B-)
A really hard grade to assign for the kid. In a vacuum, he was only a pretty average major league pitcher (99 ERA+). On the other hand, he’s just 20 years old, so to achieve even that was pretty impressive. Basically, Kershaw came out and did exactly what you’d expect he would have: obvious flashes of brilliance, a little wildness and inconsistency, and difficulty working deep into games due to high pitch counts. Still, I hope the experience did him well; he probably was able to learn a lot about what it takes to succeed in the bigs, and when he returns - as he almost certainly will later this season - hopefully he’ll have taken a step forward. That said, it was the right decision to send him down.

Eric Stults (2-2, 2.67) (A+)
2006: 1-0, 5.60 ERA in 6 games (2 starts)
2007: 1-4, 5.82 ERA in 12 games (5 starts)

MSTI on Stults, March 5, 2008:

Eric Stults, I guess? Actually, I haven’t heard word one about him being in the mix this spring at all, so I’m not even sure if he’s being considered. Even so, his career MLB record of 2 wins and a 5.75 ERA is hardly the stuff legends, or even league-average pitchers, are made of.

Well, let the legend begin. Seriously, if someone told you the “Dodgers will have 3 complete game shutouts at the break” and you guessed “Two by Kuroda and one by Stults” you’d be in a psychiatric hospital right now. And it’s not just been that one dominating game against the ChiSox; even in his last start, after giving up 3 runs in the first inning to the Marlins, he completely shut them down for the next 5 innings. I have no illusions that Stults has stumbled upon the secret grave of Cy Young, but he’s been more than effective and one of the most pleasant surprises of the season. Keep it up, Stultsy.

Swingmen
Chan Ho Park (4-2, 2.63) (A+)
MSTI, March 5, 2008, discussing starting rotation depth:

Chan Ho Park, that’s right, the Chan Ho Park. How’d his 2007 go? Not bad, just a brutal 6-14, 5.99 ERA campaign. In the minor leagues. I’m not even brave enough to do the calculations to see what that would have equated to in the bigs.

Oh well. At least I can take comfort in the fact that there’s no one on the planet - come on, not even Mrs. Park - who saw this coming. Chan Ho Park hasn’t had an ERA under 4.81 or an ERA+ within sniffing distance of league average since… wait for it.. 2001, his last season in LA. In the intervening six seasons, he ranged from bad (3 seasons in Texas with ERA’s over 5) to hurt (just 7 games in 2003) to completely irrelevant (just one game in the bigs last year, for the Mets, in which he gave up 7 runs in 4 innings). Yet back in LA, where he was above league average in 5 of his 6 full seasons.. he’s been amazing. A 166 ERA+? A 2.16 ERA in 5 starts? This isn’t just a rebirth for Park. This might be the best season of his career. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Hong-Chih Kuo (3-1, 1.69) (A+)
Previously known for 4 elbow surgeries, a curious affinity for beating up on the Mets, and flipping his bat after hitting a homer against said Mets, Hong-Chih Kuo has become what no one expected he ever could be: a reliable, effective major league pitcher. Forget “effective”. He’s been dominating at times, with a 1.69 ERA, and he’s been absolute murder on lefthanded batters, who strike out against him nearly half of the time. But for some bizarre reason, Torre insists on bringing him in when the Dodgers are behind; a majority of his batters faced have been in “low leverage” situations. Because when you’ve got a guy who’s mowing people down, you definitely want him to come in for mop-up situations. Of course.

Esteban Loiaza (1-2, 5.63) (F)
Although I suppose, he really should have gotten a “DFA” as a grade. But hey, at least for the $8 million or so the Dodgers paid him, he gave them 2 wins in 8 starts over the last two seasons before being unceremoniously kicked to the curb. Did he really pitch 24 innings for the Dodgers this year? I mean, I know he did, but doesn’t that seem like it was about 40 years ago?

Bullpen
Takashi Saito (3-3, 2.18, 17 of 20 saves) (A-)
I write this review with a lot of trepidation, as the results of Saito’s right elbow MRI are still unknown. But when a 38-year-old pitcher says that his throwing arm hurts too much to brush his teeth with it, that’s not exactly what’s known around the industry as a “good sign”. I hate to say it, but there’s a part of me that’s afraid we’ve seen the last of him.

As for this year, there’s been some sentiment around the Internets that he’s lost it, and I for the life of me just can’t see why. He’s really had two lousy games all season, and his ERA+ is still a fantastic 201. Is it because he’s not as dominating as last year, when he had a better season than future Hall of Famer Mariano Rivera has ever had? Sure, he hasn’t, but he’s still been a pretty damned effective closer, and if he’s DL’d or worse, there’s no question this team’s in trouble without him.

Jonathan Broxton (2-2, 3.40) (B-)
Amazing that Broxton’s still only 24, isn’t it? Seems like he’s been here forever, and this is his 4th season in the bigs. It’s been a weird season for the Bull; he’s still been effective, but not as good as he’s been over the last two years. He’s also had a few disaster games (6 runs in 1/3 IP to lose vs. Houston, and 3 runs in 1/3 IP to blow a game in New York).

I guess we’re going to find out a lot more about him pretty quickly, though; with Saito likely hitting the DL, we’re going to get our first look at Jonathan Broxton, Dodgers Closer.

Joe Beimel (3-0, 1.61) (A)
You know what they say about middle relievers; they’re so up-and-down from year to year that it’s a mistake to ever depend on them. Except for the third year in a row, Joe Beimel’s been incredibly reliable out of the Dodgers bullpen. His ERA is a little deceiving; while he’s clearly doing a good job of not letting guys score, his WHIP is from 1.29 to 1.42 this year. Still, 5 earned runs at the All-Star break is pretty impressive.

Besides, how many middle relievers get their own crazy dedicated fans?

Scott Proctor (1-0, 6.82) (F)
Booooooooooooooooooo. Booooooooooooooooo! He was terrible, I mean, truly awful, before going down with a bum arm, which sort of makes me think this post I made after Torre was hired (RIP Scott Proctor, 1977-2008) was pretty accurate. Maybe all those years of abuse from Torre in New York finally caught up to him?

Cory Wade (0-1, 2.56) (A+)
Along with Park, Kuo, and Stults, the Dodgers have been the lucky recipient of several massive pitching surprises this year, and Wade certainly fits the bill. I mean, really: Cory Wade? This is what is so simultaneously great and frustrating about baseball - you can never predict things like this. Wade got called up from AA Jacksonville to be the last man out of the pen and has been so good that he’s become a pretty important piece. A 171 ERA+ and a 1.009 WHIP will do that for you. But still. Cory Wade. Good for him.

Ramon Troncoso (0-1, 4.91) (C-)
Snooze. I have to say, I nearly forgot Troncoso was even on the roster. I mean really, what can you say about Ramon Troncoso? He’s only gotten into 13 games, and he’s been predictably mediocre. In fact, he’s only gotten into two games this month, so it seems like Joe Torre may have forgotten he existed too. Oddly enough, for a right-handed pitcher, he’s way more effective against lefties (.451 OPS) than righties (.917 OPS).

Brian Falkenborg (1-2, 6.43) (incomplete)
It’s amazing how much discussion we’ve had around here for a guy who’s only pitched seven innings. Of course, when you’re a career quad-A pitcher who racked up 2 losses in those 7 innings because Joe Torre insists on putting you into high-pressure situations, you’re going to get some things written about you, and they’re not going to be all that good. Look, for all the vitriol about him, I don’t really have a problem with Falkenborg’s existence so much as I do Joe Torre’s usage of him, and that’s really something that Falkenborg has no control over. So Joe, if you want to use him, that’s fine, but can’t you just give him the Hong-Chih Kuo Memorial “Pitcher Who Only Comes In When the Dodgers Are Losing” scholarship?

Yhency Brazoban (0-0, 6.00) (incomplete)
Remember when we actually called this guy “Ghame Over”? What a year for Yhency. Actually, what a career. This is somehow the fifth straight season in which he’s been on the Dodgers, except that he’s only made it into 11 games between 2006-08. After coming back from arm surgery, he showed up to camp, well, let’s just say, “hefty.” He was pretty good in the minors and made it back up to the bigs on May 9th, but in the 16 days he was up, he only got into two games, giving up two runs in three innings. Now back in the minors, he’s once again been hurt and is carrying a 12.37 ERA in 8 games at Vegas. I still can’t believe this guy was once our closer and the heir to the Gagne Throne.

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness

Is it that time of the year already? Sure, it’s not really “halfway” through the year since the Blue have already played 95 games, but here we are at the All-Star break. This won’t be as extensive as last year’s season reviews, since there’s only three days to do it in, but it still will touch upon everyone who appeared in a game for the Dodgers this year. So today is offense, tomorrow pitching, and the next day will be front office/coaching staff/awards/overall grade. And on Thursday, a big MSTI announcement. How did we do this last year? That’s right:

First, some quick ground rules. Completely unscientific and arbitrary, this is how we’ve seen the results of the season. One important distinction, is that the letter grade is based upon what we reasonably could have expected of the player entering the year, not comparing him to other MLB players at his position. You’ll soon see why this is so important.

Less than 10 IP or 100 at-bats gets you an “incomplete”. Stats are presented (BA/OBP/SLG).

We’ll knock that down to 50 at-bats for the half-season review, but everything else remains the same.

Catcher
Russell Martin (.294/.394/.436 10hr 45rbi) (A+)
Without question, the best offensive player so far. There were actually some inane stories out there that I won’t even subject you to linking to saying that he’s been off his game this year, but that’s mostly thanks to his very slow start to the season, hitting .197 as late as April 20th. But you know what? Martin’s actually having the best offensive year of his career overall. His 118 OPS+ is up 5 from last year, and while his slugging % is down slightly (.029 less than last year), it’s more than made up by his exemplary .394 OBP, which is actually better than Alex Rodriguez, Josh Hamilton, and Hanley Ramirez. Plus, he plays third base! What can I say? This guy’s the heart and soul of the team. He’s the best player, and he never complains. Love this guy. Love him.

Gary Bennett (.190/.261/.381 1hr 4rbi) (incomplete)
What a weird, weird season for the initial 2008 recipient of the Mike Lieberthal Memorial “Guy Who Rots on the Bench Behind Russell Martin” Award. Bennett only really got notice in two of my posts all season, and they couldn’t be more divergent - first, he got some recognition for a good game in Milwaukee on May 15, and then just five days later we cheered his being placed on the DL, saying,

“Left foot plantar fasciitis.” Let me say, the quotes could not be thicker around that. We’ve had no word of any injury problems surrounding Bennett, but tons of stories about his throwing problems, and suddenly his foot hurts? Hey, call it a bad foot, the flu, or the heebie-jeebies; whatever it takes to get this guy’s head right and get those lollipop throws off the field. Seriously, he even made Rotoworld today, which is rare for a mediocre backup catcher, and at no point is the foot mentioned.

Thanks for showing up, Gary. Lousy hitter who can’t throw - fantastic. If you wanted to hit the slots in Vegas the rest of the summer, that’d be A-ok by me.

Danny Ardoin (.211/.250/.263 0hr 2rbi) (incomplete)
Another member of the Loyal Order of Backup Catchers, Ardoin’s been.. well, he’s an improvement on Bennett, anyway. He’s not much of a hitter either, but everything I’ve read about him says that the pitchers like throwing to him way better than Bennett. As far as I’m concerned, the team is screwed if Martin’s hurt anyway, so it doesn’t really matter all that much which one backs him up, but I’d really like it if it would be Ardoin rather than Bennett, whenever he’s healthy. Amazingly enough, Ardoin’s already doubled Mike Lieberthal’s RBI total from last season.

First Base
James Loney (.291/.351/.446 7hr 50rbi) (C+)
Loney gets a C+ not because he’s been that lousy, but simply because we had such high expectations for him. After last year’s offensive explosion in the second half, who among us wasn’t drooling at the prospect of him playing 1B for the entire season? But after the first two months, he was only hitting in the .270s with 5 homers. Of course, he dominated in June (.362/.425/.500), only to fall back in July, hitting just .224 so far. He’s been.. okay. Not bad, not great. I still think he’s got it in him to pick it up.

Second Base
Jeff Kent (.253/.304/.407 9hr 40rbi) (C-)
This, I must say, was a tough one. On one hand, he was really bad for a good portion of the season - I assume you haven’t forgotten the whole chase to be the worst cleanup hitter of the last 50 years, but on the other hand, Kent’s 40 years old, and how much can you ever depend on a guy that age, anyway? At least he’s been able to stay relatively healthy, and his bat has turned it around a bit lately.

On the plus side, no one’s accusing Kent of being involved in any clubhouse fiascos so far, so at least he’s got that going for him. 

Third Base
Blake DeWitt (.263/.330/.372 5hr 34rbi) (A)
Just like Kent, this is a tough grade to assign. I know it seems like a long time ago now, but do you remember how desperate this team was at the hot corner at the end of March? Nomar was hurt, LaRoche was hurt, Abreu was hurt, and the trade options were either unavailable or unappealing. So we turn over the job to the guy who was guaranteed to put up Hu-like offensive numbers. Except that.. he was good. Really good, slugging .517 in May. He was a lock for Rookie of the Year and surprise of the year. Go Blake!

Of course, great story aside, he’s cratered since then, with just 4 extra base hits in the last 6 weeks, which is Pierre-like levels of mediocrity. Ah hell, it doesn’t matter. He shouldn’t be starting every day anymore, but that’s a topic we’ve already covered. He gets an A simply because I shudder to think what would have happened if he hadn’t held things down for the first two months.

Andy LaRoche (.192/.294/.341 2hr 3rbi) (incomplete)
Seems like LaRoche is shaping up to be part of the next Dodgers holy war, following in the footsteps of Juan Pierre and Hee-Seop Choi. No, he hasn’t done much in the bigs. But the people who want to write him off are insane - he’s gotten just 44 at-bats this year. Look, he’s got nothing more to prove in the minors (career .895 OPS). The Dodgers need power. Blake DeWitt is slumping badly. So then why can’t LaRoche ever start more than two games in a row? Why has he been benched the day after hitting a home run both times? Some things, I’ll never understand.

Shortstop
Rafael Furcal (.366/.448/.597 5hr 16rbi) (R)
That’s right, I gave Furcal an “R”. Why? Because the best way I can sum up his 2008 is “ARRRRRRRGGGHH!!!!” From the best start of his career, to an injury that was to keep him out a few days, to surgery that will end with him missing 4 months. Despite everything that’s gone wrong with this season, it’s hard to point to anything that was more damaging than this. Furcal’s back woes not only cost the team its hottest hitter, but lead to the failings of Hu, the misery of Angel Berroa, and the so-far entertaining Nomar era. Think about it, the Dodgers are one game out. It’s not much of a stretch to say that if Furcal had stayed healthy, the Dodgers are in first place, is it?

Angel Berroa (.192/.253/.219 0hr 0rbi) (F)
I have to say, of all the stats I looked up for this article, Berroa surprised me more than anybody. He really has zero RBI? Not even one? Despite starting 21 games? That would be incredible, if it weren’t so depressing. Look at it this way, Berroa’s had 72 at-bats without an RBI. That’s the most in MLB by a large margin, nearly double the 40 at-bats by Washington’s Roger Bernadina. Yikes! Actually, now that I think about it, maybe Berroa doesn’t deserve an F here. Maybe he should be getting a C. I mean, it’s not like we didn’t all know he was going to suck from day one. And to the surprise of no one except perhaps Ned Colletti, he has. He’s been exactly as bad as we thought, not that it was possible to be any worse, so in that sense he’s been the average Angel Berroa.

Nah, forget it. Big. Fat. F.

Chin-Lung Hu (.159/.224/.206 0hr 7rbi) (D)
This really should be an F, because Hu’s utter failure to perform once Furcal went down has to rank as one of the bigger disappointments of the season. The only thing bumping him up to a D is the fact that his defense more than lived up to its sparking reputation. But I don’t think it was too much to expect that he had a shot to be a decent hitter, since after a breakthrough 2007 where he OPS’d .871 in the minors, he popped 2 dingers in 29 late-season at-bats in the bigs. And then.. fizzle. Now, he’s apparently had some vision issues since returning to AAA, so if that’s what caused this, I haven’t completely given up on him. It’s just that if he could have been even a mediocre hitter, we could have kept his slick glove in the lineup and avoided the entire Berroa fiasco.

Infield
Nomar Garciaparra (.250/.328/.400 2hr 12rbi) (!!!)
What a year for Nomahhh. Breaks his hand in spring training, comes back to play in all of 8 games (hitting .226) before hurting his calf and missing two more months.. only to return at shortstop. You can’t make this stuff up. In fact, I wish I had predicted this in the offseason, just so I could see what kind of responses I’d have gotten saying that I’d completely lost my mind. Remember last year when Nomar couldn’t be moved from 1B to 3B to make room for Loney because he was “too fragile”? Well, a year and several injuries later, now he’s playing shortstop. Unbelievable. He’s hit okay since coming back (.286/.333/.500 in 8 games), but there’s just no way this doesn’t end with him somehow spontaneously combusting turning a double play, right?

Luis Maza (.228/.282/.278 1hr 4rbi) (C… ish)
Remember, we’re doing these grades based not on how they compare to the rest of the league, but based on how a player has performed based on reasonable expectations at the beginning of the season. This is why Hu gets a D, since he was below expectations, and why DeWitt gets an A, since he was so far above. The only time this method runs into a problem is in the case of Luis Maza, because for someone who runs a Dodgers blog and likes to think he knows entirely too much about the Dodger organization.. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I had never even heard of this guy coming into the season. So it’s hard to say I had any expectations of him. That said, he’s been pretty much what you’d think he’d be - a quad-A player who’s a mediocre hitter and a decent fielder, albeit with a particularly lousy arm.

Mark Sweeney (.094/.181/.125 0hr 3rbi) (?)
Sweeney gets a question mark for a grade. That’s partially because he doesn’t even deserve to attain a letter, but mostly to represent the question of, Why is Mark Sweeney on This Team? He serves no function. He’s a pinch-hitter who can’t hit. He can’t hit lefties. He can’t hit righties. He can’t hit at home. He can’t hit on the road. He can’t hit during the day. He can’t hit at night. We do not like him here or there, we do not like him anywhere.  His OPS is negative 18, which I believe means he’s lapsed into some sort of an unknown dimension. He’s 38 years old, and he’s got 6 hits in 72 at-bats! It’s the end of the line, and it’s just stubbornness on the part of the Dodgers front office that they allow him to keep making outs (he’s supposedly coming off the DL on Friday). I would love to know what kind of pictures Sweeney must have of Colletti with a lampshade on his head in order to keep his job.

Time to go, Mark. Time to go.

Terry Tiffee (.250/.400/.250 0hr 0rbi) (incomplete)
Tiffee only went 1-4 in his short time up, but I’ve been backing him for over two months. Now back at Vegas, he’s kept up his amazing season, currently rocking a .396/.434/.598 line. Sure, say it’s a fluke, say whatever you like. Maybe you’re right. But there is simply no argument you can use to convince me that he shouldn’t be taking Mark Sweeney’s place. None. Tiffee is more useful than Sweeney in every conceivable way - hitting, fielding, versatility, you name it. (And I did, right here.) I suppose I’m venturing more into Colletti territory than Tiffee, but really, all Tiffee’s done is hit all year long. What else does he have to do?

Tony Abreu (n/a) (incomplete)
“Knock, knock.”
“Hello?”
“Is this Mr. Abreu?”
“Yes, who are you?”
“I’m opportunity. And I’m knocking.”
“Hmm.. thanks, but no thanks. Bye!”

Outfield
Matt Kemp (.278/.331/.437 9hr 49rbi 20sb) (B)
We’ve exhausted a lot of pixels on Kemp around here lately, so I won’t revisit it all again. But suffice it to say, there’s been nothing boring about Kemp’s season. To wild trade rumors to arguments about what type of player he is and will be, Kemp’s been front and center. As you probably know, considering his age and inexperience, I’m pretty satisfied with what he’s done, especially his improvement in the outfield. The strikeouts have to be cut, of course, but remember that he’s only 23. Guys like Matt Holliday and Ryan Howard hadn’t even made their debuts by 23, instead being allowed to develop in the minors. Considering Kemp’s already been (roughly) an average MLBer at that age, let’s cut the kid a little slack, okay?

Andre Ethier (.286/.350/.464 11hr 41rbi) (A-)
Don’t look now, but Ethier is leading the entire team in homers and slugging %. That’s pretty impressive for a guy who’s been continually jerked around in terms of playing time when both Jones and Pierre were available. He gets a bit of a demerit for that .195 June, but he’s come roaring back in July with a 1.061 OPS. So of course, we can look forward to him seeing some bench in two weeks when Pierre returns. Because that’s what a team who can’t hit should do - bench their biggest power hitter. Amazing.

Juan Pierre (.277/.327/.318 0hr 24rbi 35sb) (D)
This isn’t the place to rehash the whole Pierre argument yet again, but it’s pretty simple, as far as I’m concerned. He’s having the worst season of his career by every single offensive stat (save steals), which is saying a lot when it’s the fourth straight season he’s declined since his career year of 2004. Regardless of how you feel about him, he’s not even living up to his own mediocre standards. That’s not good, and I can’t imagine it’ll be any better if his knee is any less than 100% when he comes back. Yet Joe Torre is infatuated with him, but I guess that’s something more to discuss in Torre’s review. Of 19 MLB leftfielders with enough at-bats to qualify, Pierre is dead last in OPS, coming in nearly 340 points lower than leader Matt Holliday’s. That’s not just bad, that’s really bad.

By the way, in that “career year”, his OPS+ was 107 (it’s down to 69 this year). Andre Ethier’s this season is 110. Just sayin’.

Andruw Jones (.167/.261/.253 2hr 9rbi) (you don’t even deserve a letter, Andruw)
What. A. Disaster. Hey, we’re not always right at MSTI either, because we both supported this deal when it was signed. But geez. I can’t even get on Colletti for this one, because really, who the hell saw this happening? If you didn’t see this link the other day, ESPN.com’s Jayson Stark says Jones is on pace for the Worst Offensive Season in Baseball History.

You know what, I can’t even talk about him. You don’t need stats on this one. You have eyes. You’ve watched the Dodgers. He’s awful, and no one seems to know why. What a mess.

Delwyn Young (.255/.327/.343 1hr 5rbi) (C-)
Have to admit, I’m a little torn on Delwyn. We’ve been big fans of his for a while, because on a team that’s struggling so badly offensively, a guy who’s done nothing but kill the ball at every stop would seem like a useful player to have. I mean, it was just last season that he broke a 41-year-old PCL record for doubles. That said, he hasn’t really done all that much with the big club this season. Oddly enough, his stats are the exact opposite of what I had thought; I was all set to say “but he doesn’t get to play that much with the OF logjam, and its hard for a kid to be a pinch-hitter”. Except that as it turns out, he’s hitting .342 off the bench vs. only .203 as a starter.

Jason Repko (.000/.000/.000 0hr 0rbi) (incomplete)
Oh, Jason. Poor Jason. Just can’t catch a break. You come up and go 0-5 with 4 K’s in your first game, and then get all of two more at-bats before getting sent down, probably for good. Damn shame, really.

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness

Full disclaimer: this isn’t going to be fun. Trust me when I say I do NOT enjoy writing such negativity about the team. I don’t. I’m a Dodgers fan first and foremost despite not even growing up in the Los Angeles area, and nothing would please me more than to see them realize their potential and win. It’s just that I have to call them as I see them, and in the last few hours, I’ve come across so many different things that are just blowing my mind - and that’s without even getting into the possible elbow injury Takashi Saito sustained last night. This might get all over the place, so strap yourself in for an unfortunate article of inane Joe Torre quotes, fun with on-base percentage, the possible return of the worst player in baseball, and incredibly depressing news about the other worst player in baseball.

Let’s start at the start, where Nomar Garciaparra batted leadoff last night for the first time in just about six years. He’s clearly nowhere near your prototypical leadoff hitter, but I didn’t even mind the decision by Torre. Clearly, the offense is sputtering, to put it nicely, so if you want to engage in a little “throw things at the wall and see what sticks”, that’s fine by me. That was your reasoning, right Joe? (All of these Torre quotes are via Diamond Leung unless otherwise noted).

On Nomar Garciaparra and not Matt Kemp leading off: “We’ll sacrifice the speed for someone that will give us a quality at-bat.”

First of all, way to take a nice backhanded swipe at Kemp, there. Look, I realize that my last few articles have sort of made this blog Matt Kemp’s tragic illness, but I can’t read something like this and let it pass. So tell me. Tell me, please, in what way at all does Nomar give you a more “quality at-bat” than Matt Kemp? Is it because Nomar’s got a better chance of doing something productive? No, it can’t be that - Kemp is better than Nomar across the board this year, .278/.331/.437 vs. .228/.313/.368. Okay, so it must be that Kemp is a bit of a free swinger and you want the leadoff guy to work a good at-bat and see some pitches, right? That’s a fair argument. Wait, no, can’t be that either- Kemp has shown more patience at the plate as well, averaging 3.72 pitches per plate appearance while Nomar only sees 3.30.

So, let me rewrite that quote the way it should have read:

On Nomar Garciaparra and not Matt Kemp leading off: “We’ll sacrifice the speed, average, on-base percentage, power, and plate patience for someone who will be inferior in every single one of these areas except for Highly-Concentrated Veteran Goodness.”

Well, when you see it that way, it makes total sense. Joe, why else do you like Nomar batting leadoff, according to Doug Padilla of the LA Daily News?

“He’s aggressive and he’s not your prototypical leadoff hitter because he doesn’t go up there thinking about walking, that’s for sure,” Torre said. “He does put that little extra pressure on the pitcher knowing that if he goes ahead and throws a strike he can hit it out of the ballpark.”

The first part doesn’t even make sense. First of all, for a leadoff hitter especially, getting on base is getting on base. The idea is to be on base to be driven in by the guys hitting behind you. A walk is as good as a hit to accomplish that. I mean, wouldn’t it be great if your leadoff hitter walked every single time up? How awesome would that be? But does that mean Torre thinks that Matt Kemp goes up there “looking to walk”? Even here, where we’re very pro-Kemp, we’ve gotten on him for the egregious amount of whiffs. I’m pretty sure he didn’t accomplish that by not being aggressive enough at the plate.

As for the second half of that, he likes that Nomar puts pressure on the pitcher because he knows that if he grooves one, Nomar can hit it out of the park. I’m not even sure where to start with that one. Is it the simple fact that Nomar really can’t hit it out of the park? He’s got all of nine homers over the last two years, which is hardly what I call a power hitter anymore. Or is it the fact that if you want a guy who can park one, Matt Kemp is undeniably a better choice? Kemp has nine homers in the first half of this season, in about 150 at-bats fewer than Nomar has gotten over the last two years - and Nomar’s on the decline, while Kemp is certainly still on the rise. Speaking of Kemp, Joe?

On Kemp: “He goes up there and sometimes has quality at-bats. Other times, he gets impatient.”

Which is true, because he’s young and inexperienced, but it just serves to confuse the issue further. In one breath, Torre is praising Nomar for being “aggressive”, and then he turns around and chastises Kemp for being “impatient”. Nomar is a notorious first-pitch swinger, has been his whole career. No, I can’t find the stat to back that up, but I’m pretty sure that’s such common knowledge that I don’t even need to. How is that in any way the example of patience?

I also couldn’t help but chuckle at this line from Padilla, discussing Kemp’s on-base percentage:

Kemp had been in the leadoff spot for the past 11 days, batting .255 there with a pedestrian .340 on-base percentage.

.340 is a “pedestrian” on-base percentage. Those are Doug Padilla’s words, not mine. So maybe, just maybe, this will help explain why we all hate Juan Pierre batting leadoff so much - because Pierre’s OBP batting leadoff is an abysmal .294, 46 points lower than the “pedestrian” Matt Kemp. I just don’t understand why Kemp is criticized while Pierre is praised so heartily for this, yet it’s clear in every way that the on-field performance just doesn’t support that.

Back to Joe Torre, I implore you to read this carefully, because it just might be the greatest thing ever uttered:

On Jeff Kent: “He’s the perfect example of a player. He’s struggling, but we know we’re going to get a professional at-bat every time he gets in the box.”

“He’s the perfect example of a player.” I love this sentence. I want to get it tattooed on my back. I want to take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant. I want it to be prominently displayed on all forms of United States currency from now until the end of time. “He’s the perfect example of a player.” As opposed to, say, Russell Martin, who is the perfect example of a 1920s vaudeville singer, and Brad Penny, who is the perfect example of a hamster. And here we are again with these old-school statements that in reality, mean absolutely nothing: “we know we’re going to get a professional at-bat every time he gets in the box.” It’s not even that I want to get on Jeff Kent here, who’s been pretty decent over the last month (.289/.375/.434, though he is riding a brutal 1-16 stretch right now). It’s just, what do things like that even mean? A “professional at-bat”? Because amateurs like Andre Ethier will wander up with a hockey stick, or James Loney will interupt the at-bat to stroll back to the dugout to refill his Big League Chew? Look, I respect Joe Torre for all he’s done in this game, but when he consistently comes up with meaningless lines and logic that just don’t make any sense, well, let’s just say it’s not filling me with confidence that this team can get turned around. The Dodgers have enough problems right now without creating their own.

Speaking of creating their own problems, back to Padilla, whose article is just a goldmine today:

Pinch-hit specialist Mark Sweeney, on the DL since July 4 with a strained right hamstring, will have one more minor-league rehab game and is expected to return to the roster Friday for the start of the second half.

Oh, good! I don’t know what we’d do without that pinch-hitter who’s hitting .094 with 6 hits on the season, but that’ll definitely turn the team around. Here’s the question, though: if he really comes back, who’s going to be cut to make room for him? I assume it’s Luis Maza or Angel Berroa, who are somewhat redundant with Nomar playing short. But if it’s Andy LaRoche… well, I don’t know what I’ll do here, but trust me: it will not be pretty.

Finally, Andruw Jones and his quest for becoming the most hated man in LA. Before I saw what Torre had said, I was surfing Google Image Search for pictures of sombreros to Photoshop onto Jones after his unbelievable 5 strikeout performance last night. I was really holding out hope that the knee was really the cause of his problems, but since his return he’s been just as lousy as ever, hitting .172/.200/.172 with 13 strikeouts in 29 at-bats. You might think things couldn’t possibly get worse for him, but that would mean you haven’t read what Jayson Stark of ESPN.com had to say (bold is mine):

NL LVP of the half year: Andruw Jones, Dodgers
 
Sheez, what happened to this man? If Andruw Jones’s second half resembles his first half, he’s potentially heading for (ready for this?) the Worst Offensive Season in Baseball History. At this rate, he’d finish with a .172 average, .261 slugging percentage, five homers, 21 RBIs, 125 strikeouts and only 64 hits. And you shouldn’t be flabbergasted to learn that the all-time list of players who have had numbers that gruesome consists of, well, nobody. Heck, only three other players in history have even had twice as many strikeouts as hits (in a season of 100 or more whiffs): Rob Deer (175-80 in 1991), Dave Nicholson (126-60 in 1964) and Mark McGwire (118-56 in 2001). But at least those fellows made a few home run trots, or finished over the Mendoza Line.

Great! So we’ve already seen Jeff Kent try to be the worst cleanup hitter of the last 50 years, now we’ve got a contender for Worst Offensive Season in Baseball History. Two terms you definitely want associated with two of your supposed power bats, right?

Things are looking pretty great right now. All-Star Break can’t come quickly enough.

- Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness

I knew it was coming up, and, just randomly, tonight, I went back and checked when the very first article was put up on here, and, sure enough… even though there’s only 10 minutes left, today is our first anniversary!

So I’d like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of our readers out there, who have helped make MSTI what it has become.  We’re truly surprised, but nonetheless extremely appreciative of the success and support you’ve given us and we thank you very much.

We hope we have fulfilled our objectives over the past year and have been able to provide you with quality analysis, while hopefully giving you a good laugh in the process.

Both of us have plenty of things in store for you in the upcoming months, so here’s to another year!

To celebrate…

Errr… O.K., how about a real birthday song…

- Vin & MSTI

After last night’s 3-1 loss to a kid making his first ever MLB start (is anyone really surprised?), I was reaffirmed of something.

Our really offense sucks.

I was also once again reminded of another thing.

We have NO power.

In all of MLB, our offense ranks 22nd in BA, 24th in OBP, 28th in SLG%, and HR’s, and, well… we suck.  Now I know all of this is obvious and, despite our need for power, the options to get it are very, very limited.  At this point, Andruw Jones is a lost hope, Jeff Kent is 40, and our two leading HR hitters, Andre “I look like I starred in a horrible 1980’s porn movie” Ethier and Russell Martin at 10, are projected to finish with 18 HR’s.  Now that’s nice, but not quite the thumper we need.  Sure, we could also trade for a hitter, but, one, the options are limited and, two, it would likely cost Matt Kemp and other valuable pieces.  And, frankly, Ned Colletti needs to be kept away from a phone.  In fact, the phone should place a restraining order on Ned Colletti.

So what to do?  Well, there still is one hope.  Remember a long, long time ago, there was this kid once called LaRoche who was supposed to battle it out with Nomar for the third base job in Spring Training, but they both got hurt in the same game?  Well, in case you haven’t noticed, Andy’s been back in L.A. for a month now, but he’s been enslaved to Torre The Hutt on the bench, much like Andruw Jones has been enslaved to Pizza The Hutt.

I suppose Andy sort of became forgotten during Blake DeWittmania, but, of course, there was no reason for him to be in L.A. with the way DeWitt was playing.  I mean, talk about a surprise story.  On Opening Day, all we wanted was for him not to embarrass himself and for the first couple of months, he was one of the team’s best hitters.  He started out April very solidly, hitting .279/.364/.397, before going on a torrid May, hitting .322/.379/.517, while hitting 5 HR’s in that month alone. Awesome and, let’s not forget, he was also playing incredible defense to go along with it.  Personally, the best defense by a Dodgers’ third baseman I’ve seen since Adrian Beltre.  In short, he saved our ass for that period.

Alas, since late May, he has gone from torrid to horrid and has become a black hole in the lineup.  He had a terrible June, hitting .182/.238/.234, with 4 XBH, and following that up with a line of .259/.333/.259 line through July with no XBH.  While he seems like a great kid who works hard, you cannot ignore these past two months, which really magnifies itself with the offensive struggles of the entire team.  I mean, if Jones is hitting like we expected, and if Furcal is still healthy, we can likely overlook it.  But with that not being the case, and with a healthy Andy LaRoche rotting away on the bench, there is no better time than now for Andy to come in and take a shot and perhaps provide the power we badly need.

Now I know what you might be thinking:

“Well, why should we start LaRoche when DeWitt, even with his declining numbers, is still outhitting Andy?  After all, DeWitt is still hitting .260/.325/.370 compared to LaRoche’s .175/.283/.350.  What gives, Vin?”

The thing to keep in mind when looking at this are the amount of at-bats each has.  Going into today, July 12th, 2008, Blake DeWitt has put up his below average numbers in 262 at-bats.  He has also been able to play every day, while Andy LaRoche has only had 40 at-bats this season and has started only 10 games the entire year.  In fact, the last time he started at all was 8 days ago, which is completely inexcusable on Joe Torre’s part.  What is the point of calling him up, when you are just going to waste him away on the bench?  Or send him to the bench the next game each time he’s hit a HR?  He’d be best served in Las Vegas, if that’s the case.  The point is, while LaRoche has yet to put up consistent numbers in the big leagues, he’s also yet to have consistent playing time and, therefore, it is unreasonable to expect him to produce more, if he is yet to be given a reasonable opportunity.  That’s not to argue that the Dodgers are entitled to do such for entitlement’s sake along.  But if they want to see if he is a flash in the pan prospect, they are.

And while I acknowledge that we’re talking small sample sizes here, LaRoche’s numbers have been slightly better as a starter.  When starting, LaRoche has an OPS of .722, while also having a miniscule .154 BABIP, so his numbers are bound to improve.

Finally, we must look at their histories.  Throughout DeWitt’s minor league career, he is a career .279/.333/.444 hitter and, thus, has not ever showed that he is the type of hitter that we saw through April and most of May.  In fact, his numbers this year are falling more and more in line with those minor league numbers.  But it’s a different story with LaRoche.  Throughout his minor league career, he’s hit .293/.379/.516 and has put up those numbers with power at every level.  Yes, I know, we’re talking minor league numbers here and they should be taken with a grain of salt, but not entirely.  It is an accurate generalization to say that if one’s hitting abilities have been unimpressive throughout their minor league careers then, logically following, their hitting abilities will likely be unimpressive in the major leagues.

However, Blake DeWitt will only turn 23 next month, which, in Dave Cameron years means he has a little more than a year left before he’s done, but I do hope he can improve.  He’s a good kid and someone that is well liked around MSTI.  He’s the type you want to see succeed, but you cannot ignore the lack of production over the course of the past two months and so it is time for Andy LaRoche to get his time.  Save us, Andy!

Blake DeWitt will now hit for the cycle, tonight, with a walk off grand slam, and pitch 7 scoreless innings.

- Vin

Does anyone else get this feeling whenever you see Joe Torre bring out Brian Falkenborg/Falkenberg in what seems like every game?  I mean, I congratulate Joe Torre for being able to “move on,” so to speak, from Scott Proctor, but this is getting ridiculous.

Going into the bottom of the 11th inning last night, Hanley Ramirez was due to bat third.  Now, you know Hanley Ramirez.  2006 NL ROY, 23 years old, and is hitting .312/.390/.569, 23 HR’s, with a nice, hefty 154 OPS+.

In fact, last night, he was 4 for his first 5.  But, you see, none of this is particularly surprising, as he tends to fucking murder the Dodgers every time he sees them.  Hanley vs. Dodgers lifetime (69 AB’s) = .377/.449/.638, 3 HR’s.

So, (in best Sophia Pertrillo voice) picture it: last night, Dodger Stadium, we’re tied at 4 through 10.  The Dodgers had used Park (4 IP), Kuo (3 IP), Broxton (1 IP), and Saito (2 IP) up to this point.  So, we still have Joe Beimel available (1.69 ERA), Cory Wade (2.78 ERA), and, hell, even Ramon Trancoso (4.26 ERA).  I’m not fond of the last one, especially with his results this year, but I could at least KINDA see why someone would do it.

Unfortunately, the laws of logic are either ignored or completely oblivious to the mind of Joe Torre.  So, instead, why not reprise the weekend in SF?  That’s right, bring in…

Ol’ Falkey!

The man with an ERA of 7.94, and has been an utter disaster in two of his last three appearances, most notably during Saturday’s trainwreck in San Francisco.

But wait, he gets the first two outs!  Baker flies out to left and Helms grounds out to SS.  So, who does this bring up?  That’s right, Hanley Ramirez.

Now, with two outs and nobody on, you could do two things.

1.  You can walk Ramirez and pitch to Jeremy Hermida, who is only hitting .256/.329/.407, with 9 HR’s and was 0 for 5 going into the 11th.

2.  You can pitch to Ramirez who, again is 4 for his first 5, and, chances are, will likely pay for it.

Torre opts for option 2.  F’enborg grooves a fastball down the pipe, Hanley cuts his nuts off faster than Jesse Jackson and hits an easy HR, and that’s the game, as Beimel and Wade sit in the bullpen.

You see, I just don’t get it.  Is Torre constantly bringing him out there to “boost his confidence?”  Does Falkenborg have this killer body language, arm release point, what is it?  If it’s the first option, I don’t normally have a problem with a manager sometimes bringing out a pitcher the next night coming off a bad performance to boost his confidence a little bit.  I understand the psychological reasons for that; sometimes they just need to get back out there again, I get that.  However, what I DO have a problem with is when that pitcher is dead last on your depth chart, has not shown ANY semblance of being good throughout his entire career (career 5.95 ERA, 1.61 WHIP, .292 BAA) and, albeit in only 7 games, already ranks 4th amongst the bullpen in pitching in high leverage situations.  This game was like a carbon copy of a game against Florida last year, when Grady stuck Tomko out there in relief only to get killed.

Nonetheless, this Torre/Falkey infatuation is growing pathetic.  I mean, in terms of a hitting equivalent, it’s like constantly running out your pinch hitter who isn’t even hitting .100 or, for most of the season, putting a guy who has a horrible OBP in the #1 spot to hit leadoff so he can get more at-bats or…

Oh wait…

- Vin