Mike's Personal Ramblings

FL Studio, Sports, and 4th of July

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 05:33:00 +0000

A while back I was informed about a music software known as FL Studio (Fruity Loops). As I listen more to the trance/electronic/dance genres, the application garnered even more of my attention, due to its background in production of this type of track, due to its intuitive UI and 4-on-the-floor basic setup. I've been experimenting with it mildly, and have made a couple things. I signed on to the Sonic 2 HD project working on the music, but my limited background has meant I haven't been much use so far other than lending an ear and giving my opinions.

I wanted to change that, and also try to produce some stuff of my own, so I'm moving forward now and really getting into charging through the tutorials. I've learned a great deal so far but I'm always looking to learn more. By the end of the summer I'd like to have some type of polished track available to listen to, and hopefully also figure out how to hook my keyboard into my computer and get that working. I could use a new soundcard for this to work though, I think I might invest in an upgrade... they've got some really good USB soundcards these days. Right now it is a PAIN switching back and forth between a shit soundcard and my headset. It would probably be a better idea for me to get a real mic, but this will do for now, and I'd rather have the soundcard upgrade anyway. I'm going to try to keep track of my progress on here.

On the sports front, I found a much more local soccer pickup group via Meetup. This one's in Jersey City, is cheaper, and tbqh is a lot more organized. Pitch quality might not be the best (we play on an open field in Liberty State Park), but the people are friendly, and a round trip isn't $10, just light rail fare. I've gone to the last 2 meetings, and looking forward to playing again. Really need to start going to the Frisbee meetup some more too... missed a couple times when I RSVP'd yes due to complications related to the stupid bag thief, but I'll get back. It's great exercise because it's a smaller group, which means I have to run more.

Well, that's all for now -- back to the reading. Happy 4th everyone. I'll be likely chilling in Hoboken since I don't have my new ID yet, maybe watch the fireworks tomorrow night and then come Monday start studying for the Materials final. Yikes :/

Just My Luck

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 03:26:00 +0000

So, remember how excited and pleased I was to be getting some good exercise and seeing a new part of New York City? Yeah that didn't work out so well. Don't get me wrong the soccer was great, and the people were interesting and friendly.... but while I was playing I had my bag stolen. Lost my wallet, CCs, apartment keys, glasses, and my Ajax jersey. :/

Figures I decide to do something positive with my weekends for a change and this is what happens. Really ruined what had been a great weekend up to that point.

The only positives to take out of it -- At least I decided last minute not to bring my camera with me..... would have lost that too. It also appears that I might be covered under insurance for some of the items, most importantly my glasses. That would be a big help. I'm already out the $20 from my freshly-reloaded MetroCard and another $15 or so in cash, so at least if I can get the valuable items back (CCs were already cancelled) that would be helpful.

Beat up my leg in the weekend activity as well... not sure if I pulled a hammy or if there's something more sinister wrong with my knee.... Going to have the training staff on campus look at it tomorrow.

Big Apple Sports Rounds

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 12:35:00 +0000

So, in my eternal quest for exercise and better conditioning, I will have touched foot in 2 boroughs of New York and upper Hudson County, NJ. Yesterday I played Ultimate Frisbee for a couple of hours at Weehawken's Riverfront Park on their turf football field, and in a few hours I'll be heading to Brooklyn's Prospect Park for some pick-up soccer. Gotta credit former political-based site Meetup.com for the opportunity.

In addition to helping me get in shape, I'm hoping it will help me be a little bit more "in the loop" about interesting goings-on in the city and nearby. For example, had I known about the "Webutante Ball" that Carlos N. was hyped about Friday night, I might have considered going.... seemed like a pretty interesting event overall.
However, I'm hoping this will help tackle a couple fronts.

In addition, I've really started picking up the gym time and (totally un-related to the rest of this post) the piano time. I'm sitting down to my keyboard a good 20-30 minutes a day most afternoons trying to learn some fundamentals that I sorely lack. This is shaping up to be a pretty productive summer!

Last note for me for the day -- if you haven't heard it, give the new 311 album "Uplifter" a shot. I've loved their sound since way back in the mid-90s hearing "Come Original" and have been hooked. I'm really considering going to their summer tour show in Holmdel later this month. I've heard they put on an awesome live show!

A Long Overdue Update

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:22:00 +0000

So, I haven't updated this in months (yet again -- I know, I know) so I decided to get back in the blogging spirit.

School's going pretty well, can't complain, and of course it's almost the spring sports season, so that means calling Lacrosse and Baseball in abundance this year. It seems that we're doing baseball as a webcast, so if you're a fan of the sport and want to watch mediocre/decent D3 baseball, get an account for empire8.tv and watch our games. We've got another overly aggressive schedule, so hopefully the team can play up above themselves.

So, I'm hoping that it starts warming up, because I'm really looking forward to playing some tennis.... Swimming is going reasonably well, though I was a little lax last week and only got to the pool 1 time instead of my goal of 3 sessions a week of 50+ laps. I'm just trying to get out and do some more... by being active that's more than I would do normally -- even walking around a museum would almost be exercise compared to some of my days, especially when I stubbornly walk back to the PATH station from times square instead of taking the subway the 2 stops. I'd really like to get a bike, I think that would get me out and about a LOT more, see places I wouldn't normally. That will definitely be the case in the fall -- if I have a bike I will ride to a lot of road soccer matches, especially ones up at say, Montclair or Kean or NJCU.

But anyway, I'm feeling pretty good and hitting the books with limited procrastination, so I can't complain. I'd like to keyboard some more and maybe learn C++ or FL Studio like I've been meaning to for ages -- maybe over the summer for real this time.

More updates to come, I promise.

Writing Difficulty and a New Movie Fan?

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 06:48:00 +0000

For the first time this semester (and in what can hopefully be a stable and solid trend), I can honestly say that I attended every single one of my classes this week. As you could no doubt imagine, I was quite pleased with myself. Nevermind the fact that I only had 2 days of classes. That's totally irrelevant. What matters is that I'm doing the little things I didn't use to do to get the important stuff done. Woke up at 9:15 with a 15 minute walk to class for 9:30? Probably would have been skipped back in the day. But both Tuesday and Thursday this week I gutted it out, got in 5 minutes late after the obligatory Bagels on the Hudson breakfast stop, and moved ahead in my day keeping the potential for success.

I've even read my assignments for Philosophy, a good thing when 10% of your grade is participation. My teacher seems to be one of those anti-corporation witches though, so hopefully my arguments to the contrary don't result in her docking me "personal anger and disagreement" points like liberal liberal arts professors tend to do.

The other positive outcome of the week is my 3 (yes 3) trips to the gym. I biked a combined 17 miles on Monday and Tuesday, and capped the 3 day run with a 20 lap set in the pool up on campus. I still feel tired when I probably shouldn't occasionally, but those instances are dwindling, and hopefully will soon be eliminated.

I still have a couple worries, though, despite these moral and actual victories. First, I'm worried I won't keep up the drive and focus. This should (surprisingly) be the least of the two issues. My major issue is that my writing desire seems to have gone COMPLETELY down the tubes. I've been trying to update Matchday as well as even simple posts here on Personal Ramblings, and I've been unable to muster up anything I felt like saying. 2 Helium Articles and a Blog Post in a month is absolutely unacceptable, especially if I want to return Matchday LIVE! to the type of readership I was getting in the first half of this year (last soccer season). Hopefully writing this will get those creative juices moving a little bit to end this killer writer's block. Thankfully, as anyone reading this will know, I'm a man of many interests, and have been able to stick with swimming and tennis as ways to keep myself occupied and less wasteful of time.

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One of the most surprising things for me is that I seem to have turned into a bit of a movie buff recently. Buff isn't really the correct term, since I'm generally clueless on big screen trivia. Aficionado would be more apt in this case. Normally I'm a "I'll see 1 or MAYBE 2 movies in the theatre all year" kind of guy. That would be the extent of my movie watching. I'll usually even pass up things that look good to save money and time, but never go and download them like I told myself I would at the time. Comparatively, since the beginning of the summer I've seen 6 movies in theatres (Dark Knight, Harold & Kumar 2, Get Smart, Clone Wars, X-Files, The name of the 6th eludes me) and I've watched a few others as well, including The Butterfly Effect (AMAZING AMAZING film by the way, check it out sometime.)

It's weird because the only other time I ever really got into movies was when I was spending time visiting Liz (herself a big movie fan), so the combination of having someone to share the movie with as well as her interest fueled my own. This summer however, I've had no such similar personal connection, yet my interest is still at least sparked. Granted I have gone with family or friends, but obviously nothing in terms of any sort of similar connection, I can't really explain it. Either I've seen movies in which the characters portray what I wish I was, or just going to the movies is one little way in which I'm taking a step forward toward more social interaction and stability. I'd like to think it's the latter, as I'd prefer not to seem so "suckered in" by acting, not to mention that explanation is a confidence booster.

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Regardless of all this, I head forward into week 3 of the school year -- the work load will pick up, the homework will pile on, and the teachers will get tough. Everything will be balanced around heavy weekend work schedules. But despite this, I'm remaining confident that I can have a successful semester, and maybe find a couple other joys of a different kind along the way, preferably a significant fitness improvement or a relationship. Hey, you never know.

Why do people hate Fox News (general impending Election thoughts part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 08:14:00 +0000

(Copied over from a forum where I initially posted this)

People hate Fox News, now more than ever, because they tell the public the truth -- Obama is just another politician, and his "Hope" and "Change" are just buzzwords to get him elected.

Again, still a politician, still a Democrat. Nothing will change for the better with him in office vs. McCain...

We might leave Iraq, but big whoop, that's probably not the best idea at this point anyway, every time we seem to settle in there's a counter-push. There's nothing wrong with our current positioning other than the unfortunate loss of American life overseas, but these guys signed up for it, and when you talk to a lot of military officers, they seem to find their job very rewarding and beneficial, despite the risk of self.

We might get national healthcare (thankfully not mandatory), but then we're just creating a bullshit red tape over medicine that doesn't need to exist and costing the country unnecessary billions.

What we're more likely to get is 6-12 months of seemingly positive yapping with no real progress and suddenly a reversal on anything you thought the guy believed in -- taxes raised (because that's what Democrats do, idiots), more wasted government funds going to low-income populations, and no further effort on the side issue of the election -- curtailing earmarking.

Listen, my family's from South Jersey. It's not the best area in this country. And I can tell you for a fact that we're ALREADY wasting too much money on low-income groups... in Camden County alone. All the welfare system does is create welfare queens and support idiocy. The birth rate for those on government assistance is 3X HIGHER than the national rate. And you know what? These are the people overpopulating our towns and cities, giving birth to the next generation of single teen moms in major urban areas.

I hate to show people reality, but we're supporting the lazy, inept, and driveless with approximately 10-25% success return rate (approximate inner city HS graduate going on to college rate). It's time the politicians took a look at where they're putting money.

Back in Jersey

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 20:27:00 +0000

So I'm back in New Jersey for what should be the majority of the remainder of the summer. At the very least I'll be here until just past the 4th of July (until around the 10th), and hopefully I can get a lot of pool time in during that stretch. I've dropped another couple pounds, to 205, but I still have a ways to go, and haven't been doing much by way of exercise (nowhere near as much as I'd like at least). I got a couple days of biking in, but the big problem was a lack of space for getting the cardio and whatnot in, and a lack of being at a location with fitness equipment. Swimming should make the best of it though.

In any event, what's going on...
I spent yesterday in Atlantic City, which is always a fun little diversion.
Can't really do much down there for another 4 months, but I did get swimming up on the rooftop pool, and took a few pictures at Caesar's -- there's some really nice Roman replica art in the lobby as well as out front. Plus, it's just nice to go down to the shore and relax a little bit, and eat for free at the awesome buffets. I'm all about big steaks and great seafood!

Still waiting to here ANYTHING from Stevens about my status there. I sent my Central transcript, but they're typically being slow and lazy, and I haven't heard a word. On top of that, I still have to deal with their stupidity regarding my work laptop from last year. Not sure if I mentioned that in here before -- I had a laptop that I used for my networking job last summer that was returned in late August 2007. In late April I got an e-mail saying that I needed to provide the receipt because they didn't have the laptop, or they were going to charge me. Ridiculous, you lose a laptop 9 months later and then come back to me? Come on -- utter garbage. So that will have to get dealt with soon as well. The receipt probably got trashed in January when I moved out -- I've moved twice since that point, and never had the laptop. I literally returned it the last day of work. A lot of stupidity going on at that university, I tell you.

Anyway, I suppose if weight and Stevens stupidity are my biggest problems I can't be too badly off. I'll take it. I have a couple goals for the summer, and I'd really like to achieve at least half of them.

GOALS
1. Hopefully I can get together with some friends down here in Jersey, or maybe even with some at home in CT when I return in mid-July. I haven't seen a lot of people in awhile. I'd also like to get up to central Jersey to hang out with Mike for a day and maybe play some tennis.

2. I need to finish my C++ in 21 days course.

3. I need to keep up with the swimming and play some baseball with my brother -- get in shape overall and lose some weight, maybe get down to 190 by the end of the summer.

4. Get the college situation taken care of.

5. Restart my blogs, especially Matchday Live. I have a new headset, so the voice issues shouldn't be a big problem anymore -- hopefully the audio can be crystal clear. In addition, I have some relatively stable wireless. Hopefully I can call a couple MLS matches, because the ESPN MLS announcers suck. Plus, I can get back in the swing for the season if I do return to SIT.

6. Finish downloading all of the Euro 2008 Matches. This will be contingent on actually finding working torrents of them all, and my 500 GB HDD coming down from CT with my grandmother in the car.

7. Reinstall Windows XP -- I'm sick of the bluescreening, but I think it's my USB ports or my motherboard and not the OS. We'll see, hopefully it's the OS and a fresh install will do the trick.

8. Get all TF2 achievements. Self-explanatory. This will be the only game I will devote significant time to this summer.

Harold and Kumar 2: Bigger, Better, Doogier!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Fri, 30 May 2008 03:31:00 +0000

So, I went to see the new Harold and Kumar movie (Escape from Guantanamo Bay), and I have say it was pure genius. Without giving too many spoilers, the movie staff did a great job of making sure it could draw in funds from people who could potentially claim racism/insensitivity with the title (it was originally supposed to be Go to Amsterdam). After all the hype, they were at Gitmo for about 5 minutes tops.

This was another classic random adventure of high friends, just like the first. Try to keep the first one fresh in your mind, as there are a lot of flashback/reference occurrences -- after all, the setting for this movie is only a week after the first, since they're following Maria.

Overall, it was a terrific comedy. It might be covered up by the success of the "average guy"/Seth Rogen series of movies, but this one is much better. I'd give SuperBad a 6 or so, but I give H&K:Escape a 9.5. There were one or two scenes I would have changed, but for the amount of randomness they have to throw in to stay consistent with the typical adventure of these two characters, the staff does a great job of keeping the storyline in focus, as well as developing inter- and intra-character relationships.

AND OF COURSE, Neil Patrick Harris returns!

If you've got a free Friday night or something or are just hanging out with friends, I definitely recommend this great comedy film!

Taking Care of Business...

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Sat, 17 May 2008 07:29:00 +0000

So, my last exam of the semester takes place in about 4 hours at Central. It shouldn't be anything too difficult, I know most of the material. But what it does mean is that summer is fully here. I've had a very large bit of downtime through the semester, what with only having two classes and all. But now that I have a grand total of 0 courses, I can really not only relax, but focus on a lot of those goals I've had.

I'm going to outline those goals, because the greatest minds today say that writing down and looking at your goals regularly is one of the best ways of helping yourself achieve success.

1. Continue watching my eating
2. Exercise more/Utilize the Swim Club/Pool regularly
3. Lose Weight (see 1 and 2)
4. Double my grandmother's $600 online stock trading account (to $1200) by August
5. Practice/play the keyboard, and hook it up to my computer/play around w/ features
6. Learn a programming language
7. Throw the baseball a bit (I really need to get my arm in shape; swimming helps)
8. Take at least 1 or 2 weeks to just get away from it all and relax
(*NOTE: Goal 8 does not mean not caring about goals 1-3 during that time)
9. Make another $300 in online gaming at king.com/worldwinner.com

Well, there you have it, my major goals for the Summer of 2008. Hopefully they can help me to enjoy my time, get things accomplished, learn a little bit, and be a better, more well-rounded person overall. So if you see me during the summer, make sure I'm sticking to my goals and wish me the best I attmept to keep my life moving in a positive direction!

Success so far!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Mon, 05 May 2008 18:55:00 +0000

Well, this isn't the big news I explained was on the horizon in my last post, but it's pretty big in and of itself. Just over two weeks ago I started really paying attention about my health and trying to get back in good shape. I found a program online, FitDay, that helps me track foods I'm eating and count important numbers such as carbs/fats/calories/etc., and I've also starting doing some light exercising and trying to swim whenever possible.

The exercising has been going pretty well, but I could definitely do a little better. The swimming would be much better if I was on campus rather than commuting and could go to open swim every day. I think I've been there 3 or 4 times now -- I try to swim 24-30 laps a trip.

With FitDay however, I've gotten really serious about counting calories and watching what I'm eating. That's been a great success -- my goal was to lose 2 pounds a week (which is the highest allowable safe drop based on required intake), and it's been a perfect success. I'm down to 207 from a start of 211.5 in just over 2 weeks! I've had a couple of splurge food days, one required trip to fast food, and things of that nature, however, keeping track has really made me aware of what I'm eating, and I've cut out the full bags of SmartFood and Chips (unless I'm about 1600 calories low for the day, which actually one day I was :/) I've been doing so well with it that last week I actually managed to stay between 2225 and 2300 calories 4 out of 7 days, which was WAY more precise than I expected. Go Me! Yeah, it's been a pretty big success so far, and hopefully the plan combined with a little more exercise will get in a lot better shape than I currently am!

Big News on the Horizon

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 02:06:00 +0000

So, I'm about 95% confident that I'll have some big news coming up! I want to get this "semester" at Central squared away, see what's going on after mid-May, but I really think my mind is made up on this one. It's a giant step forward to happiness, and as long as I can clear it the rest of the way with my brain and family, it'll be full speed ahead. Keep your eyes peeled for more info!

Thanks, Global Warming

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:47:00 +0000

Well, I'm now a firm proponent of global warming. The devastating impacts to earth will only take effect long after I'm dead and gone, and I'm going to celebrate it while it's here. After all, what else can I "blame" if you will for Connecticut's progression from winter straight into summer this year?

Yea, you heard me right. 20s-40s in February and March, and now in mid-April it's 77 baby! As you can probably guess, I'm sitting outside, in shorts and a t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, typing this entry, and I am absolutely LOVING IT. I'm normally not a tanner, because for me it comes naturally (being 25% Hawaiian), but the weather can't get any better than this. It really is a beautiful sight. Not a cloud in the sky, not too hot, a soothing breeze. It's like a slice of the Caribbean has come to Hartford. If you're nearby, I encourage you to soak it in -- who knows how long this will last.

I, for one, am not going to be caught with my pants down. I'm gonna soak up the sun! Bring it on, Mother Nature!

Take it easy & Mahalo

-- Mike

I Hate Tax Season

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:30:00 +0000

I have no problem with the government. Well, I do, but not because of the IRS believe it or not. I understand the country has to run on funds from somewhere. However, I still hate tax season.

Fitting perfectly in line with my life story of added responsibilities I shouldn't even have, tax season is when I get hounded for answers about 1040 line 38 and Form 8615 line 7. My grandmother does everyone's taxes (except my various state filings - NY, NJ, CT, which I do myself). However, apparently as a result she has determined I am a pro now, because suddenly I know exactly how to fill out a tax form and the answer to every question. I have to deal with a bunch of BS that consumes at least 2 days of my life because no one prioritizes, everyone procrastinates and starts the taxes a week before April 15th, and then suddenly acts like I know the US Tax Code.

I really don't understand why no one else can prioritize once in awhile. Even I can prioritize sometimes. I hear whining like "I can't even see the numbers!!" Well, that's because you paid for something else instead of first going and getting yourself an eye exam and new glasses. Dealing with this kind of cyclical bullshit really pisses me off. That's my rant for the day. Thank god tomorrow is the 15th and I can be done with this useless crap.

WTF Firefox!?!?!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:32:00 +0000

Firefox 3 Beta 5 doesn't migrate my bookmarks from Firefox 2.0.0.12 correctly. I am pissed off, because I wanted to upgrade. I'm not going to however, if I have to manually migrate my bookmarks. Also, 5 of my extensions aren't supported. Pathetic.

Staying on Task is Tough!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:35:00 +0000

With the MLS Season kicking off, and the major European leagues (and tournaments) still playing their seasons, I'm learning that having a blog dedicated to soccer around the world is tough work! I feel bad because I haven't delivered on some of my promises (most notably delivering content from around the globe - I've covered EPL and MLS pretty much 95%, and Champions League the other 5%). Stickam and my wireless connection haven't always cooperated with me, making Matchday LIVE! coverage tough, especially on mid-week matches when the stability of my connection at home is atrocious. I guess you get what you pay for ($0 from neighbors) in life.

Anyway, I'm doing a little better in staying on task, which I think can only help me in the future. I'm still behind on my MLS Team Previews, and I really should have done Champs League and EPL recaps, but I really wanted to just get interest in MLS drummed up on Opening Weekend, so I pushed out the results and hype posts, and now am getting the more fact-based, detailed, statistical stuff about each team out there for the hardcore fans that read the blog. I hope my readership numbers go up too, but I know that comes with quality content, which I think still leave something to be desired. In any case, I'll work on it. Feel free to keep me on task if you're talking to me!

Mark this date ... Gaming Cutback!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:51:00 +0000

Yes, you read that back. I know, I know... I've tried it before, but I'm going to try to make this one legit. I've been swamped and lazy about writing to my blogs, but right now there are about 5 things I need to write to Matchday LIVE!, and I really should put a new post or two up on A Cynic's Paradise. However, if I'm going to be gaming all day, I'll never get anything done. I really like where Matchday is going, and judging by my draws for live audio, I think I can get people coming more frequently if I keep the quality content coming. Therefore, games are being cut out except from the hours of 1-9am, which I'm going to try to use for sleep more often. I need to get up earlier, and make some use of the improving weather, by working out in the cooler, relaxed mornings, and working on my computer/blog and playing the keyboard in the evenings or if the weather is bad.

So, if you're talking to me -- Keep me on task. Though, if you can talk to me, it means I'm not playing the #1 devil to this plan: TF2. However, if you're talking to me, make sure I don't sign off to go play TF2, unless it's 2 AM, in which case, it's OK. I'm allowing myself. I'm hoping it works this time, I've already been more productive this week.

Until next time...

-- Mike

No Spring Breaks = You See the Results

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 05:29:00 +0000

Just writing to say there won't be any updates until at least Tuesday (unless by some miracle I have free time to use the computer) because I'll be in South Jersey visiting family for Easter.

Unlike most people, I am extremely NOT excited about Spring Break/Easter. Like I just noted above, it means I have to tolerate going to NJ for a few days and putting up with more crap than I normally do. Here is bad enough, but at least I get left alone for the most part. Visiting family is a whole different story, which pretty much goes as follows:

1. Arrive
2. Get Harassed by someone about something stupid constantly
3. Depart

I always have to deal with someone else's crap, because everyone else seems to think I can solve every problem that ever existed (Just the other day my grandmother asked me to come listen to the heater because clearly I am a heating expert and could instantly determine whether or not there was a problem; turns out there was, but if I had had to guess I would have said otherwise). That issue is magnified in New Jersey, so as usual I'm not looking forward to it.

I hope everyone else enjoyed/will enjoy their Spring Break - hopefully it will be a nice relaxing experience for you. I wish I could enter a break with such optimism, but unfortunately I know I never will, because until I have a job and my own place, there will be no peace for breaks. There never has been, not even in the Summer. Instead of doing what normal kids do in the summer: relax, hang out with friends, participate in the end of baseball season, outdoor activities, etc... I rarely (if ever) got to do any of those things (most notably never getting to play the All-Star teams that severely setback any chance I had at becoming a better pitcher), which generally led to my current status of lonely, lazy, apathetic, cynical, and out-of-shape college student. Instead of getting 3 months off a year and an extra week here or there, I got the reverse.

Unfortunately, turns out that has a profound impact on your life, because you get to college and have some freedom and some money and you try to live the enjoyable life you never could -- except you know that can't happen in the summertime when you're still lucky enough to have no work required of you because your family causes more issues -- so you live it during school. And you get behind, and you get depressed, and you waste time, and you generally don't succeed at whatever it is you are doing. You realize that "I'm not happy doing what I'm doing." But really, it might not be that you don't like the material. It doesn't even have to be your social situation. It might really be that you're doing shitty in general.

I mean honestly, you analyze the scenario for yourself. You've got a girlfriend you love, you're doing something you picked because you enjoy learning about the field whenever possible (and your only setback is that there's so much to learn you don't know where to start because you're a bit on the indecisive side), you get to work in the field on- and off-campus for a very good rate of pay at sub-entry level ($12.50/hr or $15.00/hr + OT), and ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT you're just outside NYC (a great sports town) and can attend sporting events seemingly at will, AND you get to work on campus in the job you really LOVE (Talking about/analysing sports, especially soccer, as a color commentator) for even an extra little bit of money (a solid $9/hr). Sure there's always the disappointment of only seeing the girlfriend sporadically because she's a busy kid and out of state, and the worry that you'll get complacent in the relationship and screw it up with idiocy. But if someone came up to you on the street and offered that scenario to you, how many of you out there honestly would turn that down?

I know I wouldn't. I didn't want to, either. But the stress of it all got to me. The stress of trying to enjoy life got to me, because I knew I wasn't going to enjoy the 3 months deemed to be "off" or "free" in the calendar year. I was going to get to see the girlfriend even less. I had to deal with answering the most amateur of questions because no one can be bothered to educate themselves with what is probably a simple once a week, 1/2 hour a week course in using a computer for beginners. Instead of working if I wanted to, hanging out with friends, watching sports, attending games... I got stuck with easily the worst 3 months of the year.

I write this not because I'm trying to get people to feel sorry for me. I'm writing it more because I don't want others to make similar mistakes. I also want to make sure that by putting it somewhere I can read it, I won't make the same mistakes if and when I ever become a parent. Sometimes, kids and their lives should transcend the needs of the moment. Sure you want to see your kids and have the family together and all of that, but is it worth it for you to see them an extra month if it means denying them a top spot on the All-Star roster? If it means denying them the chance to develop more lasting friendships? If it means denying them needed R&R after the stress of an education season on a growing and expanding mind? If it means they'll suffer poor decisions at more critical times in life because they're trying to get back a set of years they missed but never can regain? Think about it.

Kicking an Old Habit - Commercial Music

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 02:12:00 +0000

Yeah, sorry to disappoint those of you who thought I was a crack fiend, or an alcoholic, or something crazy like that. However, in all seriousness, I need to kick my habit of only listening to commercial music. By that I don't mean giving up on every popular band out there, quite the contrary. What I need to do is stop only listening to the one song that each popular band has on the radio.

Sure those are great songs, but as I've discovered this week, some of them have sounds you'd never realized. I've gotten over 20 new songs (the most in probably nearly a year for one single week) from about 2 bands total: 311 and Sublime. Having only heard "Come Original" and "Down" (which I was trying to find, I had forgotten the name, setting off this whole search), I would never have known that 311 was heavily reggae-influenced. I discovered a great site, iLike, which basically lets you listen to the 50 most popular songs by the group. They have a Facebook app as well, but it was a little too bulky/space-consuming for my tastes. Not only did I find "Down," but about 15 other 311 tunes that I absolutely LOVE! Similarly for Sublime, I discovered 2 great songs by them: 1 through a friend ("Santeria") and 1 that I didn't know was by the group - "(Lovin' is) What I Got". I also got a couple full Yes albums the other week, absolutely top quality.

Needless to say, now that I'm listening to songs that don't just come from the radio, it's a great time to load up my playlist! Hopefully I can keep up that run and find more fresh, excellent music. You can follow my efforts by checking in to the blog here and viewing my Last.fm recently-played Widget, and maybe even keep me on task if you see a run of 10 in a row "Take on Me," "We Built This City," "Starlight," "Basket Case," and "Wonderwall," or things of that nature.

Story of my Life

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:28:00 +0000

Compliments of XKCD, the greatest webcomic on the planet.

Random Trips w/ Friends -- Better than Sports?

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 23:12:00 +0000

Anyone that knows me probably read that title and is stunned into utter silence. But one of the greatest, and most beneficial aspect of being at home and attending Central has been the access to good friends. I'm about to go get some pizza with Vinny. I helped brighten Liz's day with a food run. It might not materialize, but Nick's around and I might try to get over and play some Brawl this week. Being on a college campus affords you the opportunity of being close to friends in that aspect. But, being at Stevens was a college campus that was far away from most of my established friends. Sure I could go to sporting events and things at will being near New York City. But more often than not, my enjoyment was tempered, even if only slightly, by the fact that I always attended games alone. Now don't get me wrong, I love sports, but friends certainly seem to prove an even greater constant. I'm hoping I'm not just basing this on a tiny selection of my semester, a recent week or two filled with excitement and social happiness. However, I have a feeling that's not the case. My remaining friends are here either on break or aren't in school. Even with work, their schedule isn't as finite as "I'm graduating in 1-2 years and will be leaving again." This is such a huge advantage to being at home, that I feel it will weigh heavily in my personal/academic decisions in terms of staying at home or staying and finishing school @ Stevens. I just hope it continues with a decent consistency to validate that belief.

Weighing the Options

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 12:56:00 +0000

Anyone that knows me knows that I have a pretty tough decision about my academics to make. Well, I think I've finally made that choice, and I felt the need to just lay it out here and see how it looks on paper before I just go all hardcore into it and actively settle on it as a choice.

I'm currently at home taking a couple classes at Central and really enjoying myself. A lot of that, I accept, has to do with the fact that I'm only enrolled in 6 credits and therefore have a lot of free time on my hands that I can use or waste without knowing I'm doing so IN PLACE OF academic requirements. I've effectively managed that 6 credits with my free time and I feel pretty confident now that midterm season is rolling around. I'm amazed that it's already mid-March, but hopefully I can make some more lengthy strides in the second half of the year.

One of the big factors in my decision is my job at Stevens. When I return (assuming I get my needed Bs or better in the 2 classes here) it will be soccer season, which is perfect timing for me. I've stayed in good contact with Brian and co. in the Athletic Department and hopefully will have a job when I return. I know based on my experience that soccer is the time of the year in which I'm most beneficial as a color commentator, despite comments about the "annoyingness" of our commentary team on a d3soccer forum. If nothing else, it's assuredly the season in which I can contribute the most, and I'd like to think I'm one of the best they have doing it.
Really, the key for me is getting the experience. I really enjoy doing the broadcasts, and that's largely why I setup Matchday LIVE! this semester, to continue doing what I enjoy and honing my skills. It also gives me the chance to write, and I'm hoping that I can link up with the Stute and do some sports-related articles for them as well.

Job aside, the key of course is academics. It will certainly be a make-or-break semester for me. I'll do my best to dedicate my focus to the classes at hand, but of course there's the chance that I won't do well enough. I'm going to dedicate the second half of the semester to learning some more programming stuff, and hopefully I'll feel a lot more knowledgeable. Having taken these two courses at CCSU this term I have a much deeper appreciation for non-english HUMs, and hopefully I'll get to take a fun course or two at SIT in the future if I stay. However, I'll lay out the goals so they're on record and I can see what I think about the future.

1.) Return to Stevens in Fall. Focus on classes, enjoy my job and the game of soccer.

2.) If I perform well enough in my classes, assess my enjoyment of the subject. Hopefully there will be 1 or 2 classes that are major-specific (CpE courses) and I can get a better feel for what my thoughts are on the major.

2a.) If I find that I really enjoy what I'm doing when combined with my hopefully added new knowledge, then I will stay at Stevens and finish my Computer Engineering education, doing my best to keep contact with my friends here in Connecticut.
2b.) If I am not enjoying what I am learning, I will first complete an assessment of Stevens' Business & Technology program and see if that provides something that I will enjoy more, as I know a good number of people in the major and can assess the courses and see if it's something I want to explore.
2c.) If I am not enjoying what I am learning, and don't feel that CompSci will provide any improvement to that situation, I will leave Stevens and switch majors to something in a more desired field either at UConn, CCSU, or somewhere nearby. (Likely switch: Journalism, Political Science, Economics, or Business)

3.) Continue my education.
3a.) If I am continuing my education at a different university, find a job in writing or in athletics, hopefully covering sports/soccer.

This is my plan, and it covers pretty much all of the bases. I am pleased with this plan because it eliminates thinking about useless things. One of the things that weighed in my mind about potentially leaving Stevens in the past is it's NYC-accessible location, for things such as NJ Devils games, Red Bulls games, the US Open, Phillies/Yankees games, etc. Even though I love sports, this is a side enjoyment, and I CAN'T let it factor into such an important decision. I do have to enjoy myself, but I can make my own enjoyment here at home just as well as I can there, and plus, those have to be considered "extras." I'm in Connecticut, If I want to have a nice weekend or day out and go to New York or go to Philly for a game, I have that option to get on a train... it's still a possibility, and must be assessed as such.

So, we'll see how it goes when I hopefully return to Stevens in the fall. Hopefully I can generate a schedule that is rounded and balanced, but still strong in major-required courses. I really don't want to be in a situation where I'm basing staying on a set of courses that are meaningless to my major (ie. Materials Processing or whatever it's called). At the same time, I don't want to base moving on "I'm happy now" because I'm only taking 6 credits and that won't be indicative of my work schedule. There are also a couple personal considerations, but I don't want to make them the center, because as important as a couple of them are to me, academics and my future have to be at the top. I'm confident that this is a good strategy and plan that will direct me to the most successful and happy future.

Feel free to let me know what you think.

-- Mike

So Many Things, So Little Time = More of the Same

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 09:56:00 +0000

As usual I find myself languishing most of my waking hours, sitting idly at the computer surfing the same 6 websites or watching a soccer match. My problem has been the same for a few years now. I want to do so many things, but I just can't quite get motivated enough to stick to them. I get started very enthusiastically, getting maybe 1 or 2% into the topic or idea or new thing that I'm doing, but then give it up.

Now, maybe there's something wrong with me for this... obviously there are people much much more goal-oriented and focused than I, but there is one thing I do know about it -- it's not related any sort of depression or similar mental state. The two experiences, I'm finding, are seemingly ENTIRELY separate. With the two blogs, this personal journal, and my 2 classes (which so far I am enjoying immensely), I'm definitely feeling much better about things, about myself, having a good time slightly to moderately more often, and I think just generally being more personable.

Interestingly enough, I'm going to verify that with numbers and statistics from Facebook, where I've gotten more notifications, hellos, comments, invites and things of that sort than I EVER have in the past. It's much more likely totally unrelated, but I'd like to at least think that my being a little more outgoing at times and a little less depressive is at the forefront helping that cause. I don't know, maybe it's a subliminal thing for people. Maybe people were just internally saying "Meh, he's just going to drag my mood down, why even contact in the first place?" Also, I'm sure you can point to Facebook's distance factor, and how a few of the people contacting me aren't having and wouldn't have had personal, face-to-face contact anyway. I'm not naively dismissing those ideas, I'm just trying to be a little bit brighter about things. I really have appreciated the sudden little boost of moral support almost.

A great example for me would be the "Compare People" application. As sad as it might be to say it, I can live and die by that. I'm genuinely ecstatic if I've been given an upvote for one of the questioned traits, and saddened when I drop a rank or two, more so if I get downvoted. I understand I'm at a disadvantage, only having 1 or 2 close friends who would be consistently favoring me, but I really like the app. You can answer anonymously, so people don't know what you said about them. I think it's a good way to express true feelings for people in a way that doesn't really hurt anyone. Unlike psycho me, most people aren't analyzing this to find their value in social circles. Don't get me wrong, I'm not either, I just find it to be a nice little tool for rewarding true qualities about the people you know. Often times I'm faced with a tough choice over two people, but I make it knowing that winner has had a bona-fide impact or has done something that I can actively remember and say "Wow, that's really earning my trust and respect for with ." And hey, if they're both great but too close to call? I skip the question. No need to hurt people's rankings when you can't decide. Well, enough with boring you all about my mental state. It's 5:10 in the morning, and I might have class at 8. Maybe I should try to get some sleep, lol.

Just sitting here wondering...

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 14:53:00 +0000

So I'm sitting here awake at an ungodly hour for a day when I don't have class and I've been thinking about a topic that's been bugging me heavily for last couple days, and off and on for the last few months: Friends.

You don't tell have to tell me how much of an impact everyone parting ways for college has on your friendships and other main contacts. I've seen it all in terms of those things since High School finished... I'm still great friends with one, maybe two of my high school buddies, I've kept a few contacts and acquaintances out of it, had a relatively long (albeit off and on as well) relationship with another. But yet, predominantly, the only thing I've done was lost contact with the good majority of people. Looking back, there are some people that I can acknowledge that's a good thing for. Others just make me wish I had more friends, which admittedly I'm in short supply.

My problem seems to be that I'm "that guy," the one that is decently smart, so I can fit in with the types that enjoy smart, even borderline nerdy types of things, like witty humor, comprehending an RPG, novels, and video games (not that that's necessarily nerdy, but you know what I mean). I also like to go out and have my fun, and working with and having a passion for sports gets you the "side-door entry" if you will into the realm of the parties and popularity zone. So, even though I'm accepted everywhere, which I have to say I enjoy, I really am not specifically befriended anywhere. I have friends in each of the realms, yes, but except for 1 or 2, I'm not really a go-to kinda guy... there's always someone a person would rather hang out with.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not always against this. This avoids problems such as the 3:30 drunk dial, the begs for help (I'm not smart anyway compared to my friends), and never having any alone time, which having grown up as the equivalent of an only child in a lonely neighborhood, I'm used to having alone time, and I have plenty of ways (maybe not so useful) to make use of it.

I'm getting away from the point I originally wanted to make though, so let me get back on my train of thought. As usual there's been too much back story and explanation. The thing I miss the most about having the really solid friendships is just being a friend. There's really only 1 person, maybe 2 if you count people I know solely thanks to the internet, who ever finds me a valuable source of advice. That's an aspect of friendship I really miss. Back at Northwest, and even through the beginning of college, there were 5 or 6 people that would, at least occasionally, come to me to talk things out. Maybe I wasn't a best friend, but at least I was considered a friend enough that they could trust me to discuss things and give a meaningful, useful, beneficial, and mature response.

Now, perhaps I told a few of them what they really needed to hear instead of what they wanted to hear, and that's why they don't come back anymore. But some, I feel like are just lost contacts. People that used to talk that just don't anymore. I'm not going to speculate as to any of their reasons for doing so, and I'm certainly not going to hold a grudge, because I fully accept that people just drift over time or whatever. I know I've been guilty a couple times of losing contact of some longer-distance friends that were keeping in touch.

Anyway, what I think I most want to do with this post is to get myself out there. Things aren't necessarily looking up for me, but they're not looking down either. And I don't give jaded responses. I really try to just use logic, thought, and maybe a personal experience or two to give advice or suggestions. You don't even have to use them. I would feel infinitely better if one or two more people just felt value in having me listen, for a change. I'm not asking for much... not looking for a relationship if you're a girl (unless you get some weird idea that that's what you want in your head), and this isn't a desperate plea for 1 friend. I'm secure enough, I have a few good friends, and I'm happy with that. I'd just like mostly, to help you out there. A few months back I was having a rough time, and I was really doubting myself, especially about school and major choice. Some people came almost literally out of the woodwork to back up my beliefs and just be reassuring in general, and it really helped me through a tough time.

I'm not really asking for much, just maybe the opportunity to give back. Maybe I can help one of my fringe friends, or even someone random who just happened to have added me on facebook or something when HS ended for kicks, even if we never spoke. So, if you're feeling troubled or bothered by something, or just want to change it up and have someone different or fresh to talk to, look me up. If it ends up helping you out, then it will have been a win-win situation, because I'll benefit assuredly just by having the conversation.

Celebrity through Quality Journalism

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 10:51:00 +0000

Well, my head is still reeling from a day in which I achieved MASSIVE viewership to my 2 blogs (A Cynic's Paradise and Matchday LIVE!) thanks to being one of the few and one of the earliest to post video links of the Eduardo da Silva broken leg. I found the ONLY (at the time) Youtube video, and posted immediately to both blogs -- Cynic's Paradise just got the video, and Matchday LIVE! got the video + a little bit more in-depth analysis on the injury itself and the entire game (along with the result's implications to the EPL standings table). I knew people would want to find the video, it happens every time there's a big event nowadays. But I really did not expect the sheer volume of hits (they're still coming as we speak). Here are my Google Analytics numbers from Saturday the 23rd, and Sunday the 24th:

A Cynic's Paradise: Sat: 6200+ visits, Sun: 2500+ visits
Matchday LIVE! USA: Sat: 8000+ visits, Sun: 7000+ visits
Of those totals, approximately 15,000 were unique visits.

This is amazing, given that I had a total of about 500 hits on both sites COMBINED (450ish to Cynic's, 50 to Matchday) prior to this update.

It's pretty sad, but I really feel almost as though I just got my (pretty lame in the grand scale of things) 15 seconds of fame, and now I'm done for life. Oh well, you've gotta take what you can get. I made 10,000 people happy by giving them information they wanted. I'll take that. Hopefully, I can continue to write decent pieces and make people come back. Even with the traffic spike I got my average 1.2-1.4 page visits/person, so not everyone just X'ed out of Firefox or IE after watching. Who knows? Even if I pick up 25 new readers that's a better audience, and that's all I can ask for.

The personal stuff.

noreply@blogger.com (Mike D.) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 07:02:00 +0000

I'm getting to the point where I'm writing a lot of cynical stuff and other general news or interesting articles on my main blog, A Cynic's Paradise. Therefore, I've decided to branch out and have my personal rants and joys (if there are any worth writing) on a separate blog. As you can probably tell, this blog page was created for this purpose. Enjoy my personal side.

-- Mike