Mike's Place - TopTen

Ways To Not Make it Past The American Idol Audition

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:28:07 GMT

Top 10 Ways To Not Make it Past The American Idol Audition:

Wear a costume (has anyone wearing a costume made it past the audition?)
Say, "Everyone tells me I sound like ..."
Look like a dork.
Add a high-pitched vibrato to your song.
Do a funny dance while singing.
Wear a T-shirt that says something stupid.
Have a glossy-eyed look while smiling creepily.
Write your own song about one of the judges.
Let them know that you're a die-hard Star Wars fan.
...AND the number 1 Way To Not Make it Past The American Idol Audition (Drumroll please ...)
Wear inappropriate clothes (this only applies if you're grossly overweight).

Cures for Internet Addiction

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 02:57:32 GMT

Top 10 Cures for Internet Addiction:

Get a slow dial-up connection and watch full-length movies
Post to newsgroups using your real, main e-mail address so that your inbox is flooded with SPAM
Try using a very old browser to access Web 2.0 sites
Go to "shady" websites without protecting yourself without a personal Firewall or virus checker and download all components on the website
Open all e-mail attachments with ".exe", ".scr" and ".pif" extensions
If you're also a hypochondriac, go to self-diagnosing medical sites
Add "lonely" friends to your MSN Messenger list so that they can chat with you any time
Buy an old computer that takes 10 minutes to boot up
Use Facebook at work regardless of the company policy
...AND the number 1 cure for Internet Addiction (Drumroll please ...)
Continue reading these top ten lists.

Bad Things About Visiting Family for 2 Weeks

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 21:02:32 GMT

Top 10 Bad Things About Visiting Family for 2 Weeks:

I've started watching 'Family Guy'
I've started watching 'Kenny vs. Spenny'
I've started watching what I eat
Now, waking up at 11 am doesn't seem so late
I can't get the song "Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on..." out of my head
I have no motivation to catch up on the things I've missed for the last 2 weeks
There are new bad pictures of me
I now feel the need to fly first class every time
There are no dessert menus at home
...AND the number 1 bad thing About Visiting Family for 2 Weeks (Drumroll please ...)
My grandmother had to cram 2 weeks of complaining into 1 phone call

Things We'll Miss From Halifax

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 04:17:46 GMT

Top 10 Things We'll Miss From Halifax:

Erica's Dessert Menus
Deven asking "Why? Why? Why?"
Watching Deven and Erica jump up and down on Sandy
Spicy Sausages
Playing Games
"Cerebral" conversations (inside joke)
Sandy's "crop circle-like" chalk designs on the road
Sandy's lessons in reverse psychology
Karen's cooking
...AND the number 1 thing We'll Miss From Halifax (Drumroll please ...)
Sleeping in until ... (I'm too embarassed to say!)

Memorable Scenes From Movies

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 01:38:56 GMT

Top 10 Memorable Scenes From Movies:

The Head in the vice in "Casino"
Erin Brokovich - "I got #s comin’ outta my ears. 10 is how many months old my girl is. ...6 is how old my other daughter is, 8 is the age of my son,... 850-3943. ... with all the #s I gave you, I’m guessing 0 is the # of times you’re gonna call it"
The Sledgehammer in "Misery"
The End of "Life Is Beautiful" - I won't ruin it for you
Borat attemping to propose to Pam Anderson
"My Cousin Vinnie" - "two yewts"
"Heartbreak Ridge" when Clint Eastwood defends himself against the huge guy.
"Pulp Fiction" when he accidentally shot the guy in the backseat of the car and he was more concerned about the mess than the fact that he killed someone.
"Goodfellas" - "You're gonna dig the hole. .... Who the ... cares? I'll dig the ... hole. I don't give a .... What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I'll ... dig a hole. Where are the shovels?
...AND the number 1 memorable scene From Movies (Drumroll please ...)
"A Few Good Men" - "You want the truth?... You can't handle the truth!"

Things We Thought Were Cool in the 70's

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 22:03:07 GMT

Top 10 Things We Thought Were Cool in the 70's:

"Hairy" boots
Sideburns
Bell bottoms
Perms on guys
Indoor roller-rinks
Big-ass eye glasses
Flowery clothes
Beads hanging in doorways
Shag carpets
...AND the number 1 things we thought was Cool in the 70's (Drumroll please ...)
Customized vans

Signs you Have MS

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 01:30:29 GMT

Top 10 Signs you Have MS:

You walk like someone that just drank 10 beers
Watching TV for 12 hours in a day is not unusual
You have to plan trips to the kitchen to be in sync with trips to the washroom
A late night out means you're home by 10:00
Sitting down to coffee for 3 hours is a regular occurence and is a fun time
You get passed by senior citizens when walking at your fastest speed
Getting shaved, showered and dressed is a busy day
You know what PSW stands for
Falling down is a regular occurrence
...AND the number 1 sign you Have MS (Drumroll please ...)
You wake up at 11 am and take a 3 hour nap at 1:30

Signs You're a Metro-Sexual

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 21:50:33 GMT

Top 10 Signs You're a Metro-Sexual:

You've had any part of your body waxed
You put highlights in your hair
You wear tinted contacts
You wouldn't think of wearing white socks with brown shoes
You've used laser hair removal to create a nice beard-line
You've had a manicure or pedicure
You own more than 4 winter jackets
You have more than 3 pairs of casual shoes
You use conditioner in your hair
...AND the number 1 sign You're a Metro-Sexual (Drumroll please ...)
You moisturize

Signs You Don't Watch Enough TV

Sat, 26 May 2007 03:41:28 GMT

Top 10 Signs You Don't Watch Enough TV:

You don't know who Ken Jennings is
You think "Crossing Jordan" is a religious show
You've never heard the annoying phrase "Head On, apply directly to the forehead"
You don't say "not that there's anything wrong with it"
You don't know who says the phrase "You're fired!"
You think "Thank God You're Here" is a Sunday morning show that people watch in lieu of going to church
You think "The War At Home" takes place in Iraq
You don't know which one of Jordin or Blake is the "beatboxer"
You pronounce the 'T' is "Colbert"
...AND the number 1 sign You Don't Watch Enough TV (Drumroll please ...)
You think the name of a show is "Law and Order: SUV" (not SVU)

Best Characters on Television Right Now

Sun, 20 May 2007 04:56:54 GMT

Top 10 Best Characters on Television Right Now:

Dr. Bailey on "Grey's Anatomy"
Jordan Cavanaugh on "Crossing Jordan"
John Locke on "Lost" (if he's not dead - but it looks like he is)
Hiro Nakamura on "Heroes"
Sylar on "Heroes"
Sawyer on "Lost"
Nigel on "Crossing Jordan"
From what I've heard, Jack Bauer on "24" but I've never seen it
Dr. Gregory House on "House"
...AND the number 1 best character on Television Right Now (Drumroll please ...)
George Bush Acting as President

Phrases That Are Overused

Mon, 14 May 2007 08:16:12 GMT

Top 10 Phrases That Are Overused:

yada, yada, yada
How's it going?
Oh, it's going
We seem to be playing phone tag
I'm computer-illiterate
Let's play it by ear
Oh yeah baby! (Oh, maybe it's just me that says that)
Answering 'how are you?' with "Oh, I'm surviving" (were you in Auschwitz?)
Hey! (I over-use this phrase/word a lot)
...AND the number 1 phrase that is Overused (Drumroll please ...)
No, Mike; you're wrong!

Signs It's Hot in our Condo

Fri, 11 May 2007 14:38:42 GMT

Top 10 Signs It's Hot in our Condo:

A demon wanted to enter and thought it might be cooler to go back to hell
I had a fudgsicle for breakfast today (I'm serious)
We have every window open as wide as it will go
We are counting the minutes until the AC is turned on in the building (4 more days)
Everyday I wake up hoping it will drop to zero degrees outside
The fires on Catalina Island seem like a good place to cool off
Taking a shower now means turning it to the coldest setting
I saw three separate people bring brand new fans into the building yesterday
Every door to each unit is open to let the air circulate
...AND the number 1 sign It's Hot in our Condo (Drumroll please ...)
The popsicle I had for breakfast had to be eaten in 5 seconds so it wouldn't melt on my shirt

Tech Phrases That Are Misunderstood

Tue, 08 May 2007 14:43:06 GMT

Top 10 Tech Phrases That Are Misunderstood:

"Screen capture" does not mean to steal a monitor
There is no "Any" key that you have to hit to continue
A dialog box is not a box you talk to
Meta tags are not tags for a dog named "Meta"
Backslash has nothing to do with a knife
AJAX is not a cleanser
A "Foreign Key" is not a way to open the door of an immigrant's house
"Illegal Operation" does not mean jail time
A hash table is not a table where you smoke hash
...AND the number 1 Tech phrase that is Misunderstood (Drumroll please ...)
A cursor is not someone that uses foul language

Internet Jargon Expressions That Are Over-used

Tue, 01 May 2007 03:43:35 GMT

Top 10 Internet Jargon Expressions That Are Over-used:

TTYL
ROTFL
OMG
WTF
LMAO
TY
YVW
BRB
LOL
...AND the number 1 Internet jargon expression that is Over-used (Drumroll please ...)
:)

Slogans Best Ad

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 19:34:44 GMT

Top 10 Slogans Best Ad:

The best a man can get - Gillette
It's not TV, it's HBO - HBO
Can you hear me now? - Verizon
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard. - MasterCard
Live in your world, Play in ours - PlayStation 2
Now you're playing with power! - Nintendo
Where's the beef? - Wendy's
Just do it - Nike
I've got good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO! - GEICO
...AND the number 1 slogan Best Ad (Drumroll please ...)
Mikey likes it - Life cereal (how many times have people said that to me? Do you know what a googolplex is?)