Mike's Weekly Skeptic Rant

Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum Wants Rape Victims to Accept Their Horrible Gift (That He Can Never Receive)

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:50:00 +0000

Rick Santorum. The mention of the guy's name makes me vomit a bit in my mouth. I have to address his recent comment to Piers Morgan, however, because it was pretty vile.
Now, I wrote about this issue back in 2006 with respect to South Dakota Gov. Mike Rounds being a dipshit about it. Santorum seems to have the same ideas of keeping women under his sanctimonious, overly-religious thumb and declaring as though true to everyone on Earth that, "...life begins at conception." No, Santorum, it does not. At conception, a little group of undifferentiated cells is not a child. It has a good chance of being one someday, but at that point, if it is a choice (which it is) between continuing the pregnancy thrust upon the victim (quite literally) or terminating it, she should be well within her rights to end it.

Morgan: "There will be people in that situation (of having a raped daughter who gets pregnant) and they're looking at their daughters and saying, 'If I make her have this baby, isn't it going to ruin her life?'"
Santorum: "Well, uh, you could make the argument that if she doesn't have this baby, if she, if she, kills her child, that that too could ruin her life...(she should) accept this horribly created...gift."

Did you get that? "Accept that horribly created gift." If I may be so bold as to quote loosely from my linked post from 2006 above and adapt it to Santorum:

(Imagine) Some dickless piece of shit drags her (your daughter) into an alley and punches her around a bit, then sticks his Keebler Elf-sized dick in her and happens to get her pregnant. You expect her to keep that kid?

How about this: we send you (Santorum) to prison where we allow the Aryan Brotherhood to rape you in the shower. Afterwards, you and your bleeding asshole are going to be dragged to a cell where some guy will tattoo a picture of a fetus on your stomach in bright red ink. Now, do you think you should be allowed to go and get that tattoo laser-removed? I don't. Nope - your life is not in danger now, is it? You should have to respect that piece of art for the rest of your life. It's art, Rick! Come on! You have to keep that art, regardless of the horrible circumstances of its gifting.

I'd be curious to see how fast Santorum would run to the laser clinic. I'd bet the soles of his shoes would come off from the speed of his sprint.

Fuck the Motherfucking Pope

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:06:00 +0000

Welcome to 2012, and to start it off on the right foot the stupid pope opened his bigoted mouth and said that gay marriage is a threat to humanity itself.

He told diplomats from nearly 180 countries that the education of children needed proper "settings" and that "pride of place goes to the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman."

No one, not one person from the organization that is the catholic church (no, I won't capitalize it) has any right to talk about what is "proper" with respect to the education of children, let alone the institution of marriage, in which they do not participate (aside from officiating at ceremonies...in a dress).

This is not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society. Consequently, policies which undermine the family threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself...

"Policies which undermine the family"...hmmm...sort of like the "policy" that says condoms are worse than AIDS? That one idea has caused many thousands of deaths, unlike gay marriage which has caused approximately zero deaths.

New York Archbishop (soon to be a red bird) Tim Dolan also has his panties in a bunch about them gays marrying. He wrote a letter to President Obama threatening a, "national conflict between church and state of enormous proportions" because of Obama's not supporting a national ban on gay marriage. As Dr. Evil once said, "Oooooooo...I'm shaking in my little space booties."

Ratz continued by saying:

"The family unit is fundamental for the educational process and for the development both of individuals and states; hence there is a need for policies which promote the family and aid social cohesion and dialogue..."

I'd like to know what evidence Ratz has for gay marriage being bad in any way. Where are the countries that have collapsed because of legalized gay marriage? Hell, I live in Canada and we've had legalized gay marriage since 2005 - where is the societal downfall? What about the Netherlands? They've had it since 2001 and they seem to be doing just fine. All of your arguments drop dead in the face of contrary evidence.

If I may steal a bit of Hitch, please see below.
And now, the song that gave the title to this post, curtesy of the great Tim Minchin:

A Video Tribute to Hitchens

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 19:57:00 +0000

Thanks to Seth, aka The Thinking Atheist, for this wonderful video tribute.

Rest In Peace, Christopher Hitchens

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:50:00 +0000

Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence. Suspect your own motives, and all excuses. Do not live for others any more than you would expect others to live for you.

The above quote is from the final chapter of the first Hitchens book I ever read, Letters to a Young Contrarian. I have kept it through the years (I received the book as a gift in, I believe, 1998) and peruse it regularly still, if only to add a new word to my vocabulary. It was the book that prodded me to start my personal dictionary in a computer file; the friend who gave it to me said that he walked into the book store and jokingly asked, "Where are your fancy-talkin' books?"

Since then I have read several of Hitchens' books and watched most of the debates and lectures available online. His ability to confront the things that he found wanting, unnecessary, or evil was inspiring and his lack of conformity to the conventions of showing "due respect" to those "deserving" (to those in black and white collars, for example) was at first shocking, then obvious. He will be, for me, one who changed my outlook, and for that I am grateful.

The Missionary Position, one of his most contentious books, was enlightening to me in that he took a universally loved person and exposed the wizard behind the curtain. I recall him "debating" with Bill Donohue on some show about the book and Donohue wailing about the physical dimensions of it while never addressing the actual charges...because he could not. He knew the truth.

I remember reading an article about Hitch traveling somewhere and seeing a Nazi sign on the street. In spite of obvious danger to his person, he took a black marker to it because, he explained, Nazi signs, "exist only to be defaced."

Watching Hitchens and Stephen Fry debate John Oneiyakan, a Catholic bishop, and a British conservative MP named Anne Widdicomb was eye-opening, riveting, and inspiring. Seeing a person of Hitchens' (and Fry's, for that matter) strength stand up to what is obviously nonsense and obfuscation makes one want to do the same whenever the opportunity arises.

Hitchens, sadly, is gone now. Tonight, there shall be glasses raised in his honour, as there should be from now on when the thirteenth of April rolls around. Because of him and his voluminous writing and speaking, there are many thousands of us who will not stand idly by, who will face oppression, and who have a long list of behavior and conduct, as both Churchill and Hitchens said, "up with which we will not put."

Deepak Chopra Baits Atheists

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:55:00 +0000

Via Deepak Chopra's twitter feed (from which I am hilariously blocked), a selection of recent snippets with added commentary:

Question for atheists: Does your brain make you an atheist or do you have choice in the matter?

Last I checked, my brain and its inherent interactions/chemical processes are what I use to make all decisions. The lack of any sort of proof or evidence for god(s) is what made me an atheist. Let's try to pay attention to the language we've all agreed upon, alrighty?

No one knows enough to be an atheist

What does this even mean? Granted, I could say this about 89% of what comes out of Chopra's mouth/keyboard, but still. Is he saying that no one knows everything about everything, therefore you can't say there's no god(s)? Does he realize that the sentence, "No one knows enough to be an agardenfairyian" holds exactly as much weight as his tweet?

Since atheists believe in a mechanistic brain they have no choice.

A "mechanistic" brain, as opposed to a "metaphysical" brain? What is Chopra saying here? That the brain does not work by chemical/physical processes? He's a doctor, right? What sort of brain does he believe in, exactly?

A mechanistic universe would make everyone a zombie

Sure. Just like how a "metaphysical" universe makes everyone an annoying, blathering, quantum-abusing, woo-peddler. "Zombies"? Come on, man, are you really saying that atheists are zombies? I can hope to at least be a Walking Dead-type zombie, I guess....

I'm not an atheist because militant dogmatic atheism has low standards

I love the phrase, "militant dogmatic atheism". I find it hilarious. What do we do that is "militant"? We maybe disagree with people who say there's an invisible man in the sky. Perhaps we refuse to say that homosexuals are "evil" because some 2000 year old book says that a man who lays with a man is an "abomination" (nevermind that King David might have been a smidge light in the leather sandals). Sure, we will likely scoff when people say things like, "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual", but we're hardly deserving of the "militant" label.

I also love how he throws "dogmatic" in there too, just to mirror the religious folk. Here's an education point: most atheists, if they're worth their salt at all, are open to being convinced of just about any idea if the evidence is there. We'll change our mind - most of us have abandoned a religious upbringing and confronted family, friends, and our inner biases towards what "feels good" to come to the evidence-based conclusion that there are likely no god(s). We'll change back if the evidence shows its head, but it won't. It's not there. And no amount of special pleading by Chopra about "consciousness" or "quantum theory" is going to change that.

In my opinion(no need to believe me) both dogmatic #atheists and fervent believers have a relatively low standard for understanding reality

And from his YouTube video of December 5th entitled, "Why I Am Not An Atheist, A Theist, Or An Agnostic", some quotes to which I'd like to briefly respond:

...I don't believe in the god that atheists are attacking...

In my experience, atheists don't "attack god(s)" because we don't think they're real. It's the same thing with, say, bridge trolls. If someone believed in bridge trolls and told me that the trolls know the way to everlasting life and that I should join them in Troll Worship at the local Trollagogue, I would attack their reasoning and logic, not trolls...because they're not real. See the difference?

Today, science has replaced belief, and science is all about empirical evidence, but I believe that empirical evidence is also basically replacing reality with an image of reality. Because what we call "empirical evidence" or facts are not really attributes of the universe, but as I've said before, descriptions of modes of perception and knowing in a human nervous system to human questions asked in consciousness.

Where to begin, where to begin...? How the hell is science, "replacing reality with an image of reality"? What does that even mean? Poppycock, I say! Poppycock!

...I also believe that if you go to the ground of being and our identity shifts to the ground of being then we see ourselves as one with the Source of all that exists, and this is the Source of our intuition, insight, imagination, creativity, free will, choice making. Also the Source of atomic values such as truth, goodness beauty, harmony, evolution, and forgiveness, and tolerance, and love, and compassion, and joy, and equanimity.

If you gave the Dalai Lama a kilo of ecstasy and a nice back massage, he might come up with this level of flummery.

...the truth is we are neither the observer nor the observation, but the pre-existing consciousness that splits in every moment into observer and observed and processed, and because this is an infinite universe, there is room for everyone in the infinite mind because it is the infinite mind that is the atheist, the theist and the agnostic as well.

It's nice that he wraps it up by including everyone under the umbrella of wooery. You can tell that he's taking the information from quantum mechanics (the "splitting" of "pre-existing" stuff into changing entities) and ignorantly applying it to the macro-world as if it is transferrable. It's not. Sure, observing can change the outcome of an experiment, but is that really worth bringing in the weirdness of an "infinite mind"?

How about, "No", Scott.

Six Years

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 02:31:00 +0000

Today marks the sixth year that this blog has been up and running. There have been a couple of lulls here and there of a month-ish, but overall, it's been fun. I'm still enjoying having an outlet for my skepticism, annoyance, and occasional rage, so I'll be blathering on for a while yet. Thanks to everyone who stops in from time to time and read what's happening, and big thanks to those who follow me on an aggregator or some weird techie thing like that. "Big ups" to you, as the kids say.

Man, We (Canada) Suck

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 01:50:00 +0000

What the hell does it take to make politicians sit up and take notice? Canada is now the shittiest place with respect to climate change...like, in the world. We signed the Kyoto Accord, but then didn't follow up with the promise to reduce emissions to below 1990 levels; not only did we not do that, but our emissions went up by seventeen percent.

You would think that would be a source of embarrassment to our government, but apparently not. Funnily, in the Conservative Party of Canada's platform document, it states on page 41 that with respect to "Conserving and Respecting Our Environment", they have:

aligned our climate-change targets with those of the Obama Administration - our goal is a 17-percent reduction in domestic greenhouse gas emissions from 2005 levels by 2020.

Odd that that 17 percent thing keeps popping up.

I shouldn't shit on the Conservative government too much, however. It's not like the previous Liberal governments did anything either. Hell, after 1997 when the Kyoto Protocol was negotiated and signed, with Canada being an active participant, our greenhouse gas emissions went up by fucking nearly thirty percent. That's disgraceful.

We need to get some group in power who realizes that the science on this is solid and that we're seriously screwing with the climate of the planet. We could be leaders in this field, setting the example for other countries to follow, developing the technologies that change the ways we consume energy - instead we seem to be burying our heads in the sand even deeper. I find it telling that in the Conservative Party platform there was no mention of funding scientific inquiry or technological development of alternative energy sources. Maybe I missed it.

Deepak Chopra Apologizes to Richard Dawkins

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:52:00 +0000

Deepak Chopra was on Bill O'Reilly's show and got caught up in some bad-mouthing that got slightly out of hand. You can watch the O'Reilly segment at Hemant's blog, The Friendly Atheist, if you'd like, but the point is that Chopra recognized that he went overboard. He took to the YouTubes to apologize.

He doesn't state exactly what he said that was offensive, just that he took Dawkins' criticism(s) to be personally offensive and reacted inappropriately. This is a good step but ultimately it comes across as a little CYA-ish. He got led by O'Reilly into essentially admitting that the idiocy that is Intelligent Design is valid and that the U.S. is a Christian nation, so he had to do something to backpedal a bit.

Well done, Deepak Chopra, I just wish it was a little more specific. I'll do my part to try to address just the silliness you peddle and not resort to ad hominem attacks.

Rest In Peace, Patrice O'Neal

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 18:16:00 +0000

I'm a huge stand-up comedy fan, so it always sucks when one dies. It sucks especially hard when they're young and could have given so many more laughs. Patrice O'Neal was one of those guys. He was so funny - I remember laughing, crying, bent-over holding my stomach making weird dolphin noises at one of his sets I saw on television. He was suffering from diabetes and had a stroke in October shortly after performing at the Charlie Sheen roast. It's a sad day in comedy, but take a second and enjoy a bit of his act. In case you're not familiar, he is not safe for work

Gabriele Amorth is a Crazy Person

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 04:12:00 +0000

Gabriele Amorth (I refuse to refer to priests as "father"), the former chief exorcist for the Vatican, said recently and hilariously that yoga was "satanic" and that reading Harry Potter led children to believe in "black magic and wizardy."Please, if you need your irony meter melted, read this and then come on back.
...Back? Ok, great, let's dig in, shall we? Amorth says:

In Harry Potter the Devil acts in a crafty and covert manner, under the guise of extraordinary powers, magic spells and curses

Nothing at all like priests, who act in a crafty and covert manner, under the guise of extraordinary powers, magic incantations, and feigned cannibalism. Nothing like that at all. Oh, and the rape. Let's not forget the child rape.

Satan is always hidden and what he most wants is for us not to believe in his existence. He studies every one of us and our tendencies towards good and evil, and then he offers temptations

Riiiiight. Here's a red flag for everyone: if the person you're talking to claims to know exactly what a fictional, magical, fallen-angel "most wants", you're talking to a crazy person. Gabriele Amorth is a damn crazy person.

It's (science is) not worth a jot...The scientist simply explores what God has already created

Spoken like a man who thinks he's seen "possessed" people vomit shards of glass. You know, if you're the head exorcist for the goddamn Vatican, you'd think you might, I don't know, set up a video camera when you do your insane glass-vomitting biznazz. Just a thought.
I'll close with this:

He (Amorth) has also claimed that the sex abuse scandals which have engulfed the Catholic Church in the US, Ireland, Germany and other countries was (sic) proof that the Anti-Christ is waging a war against the Holy See.

I'm going to go ahead and call bullshit on that. The "sex abuse" (read: child rape) scandals that have covered the Catholic church like tar and feathers is proof that that institution is peppered with pedophiles who use their position of authority over vulnerable children to rape them and destroy their lives. If there was any true justice in the world, the Catholic church would be abandoned by all and left to a quick, empty death, relegated to the history books as an unfortunate philosophical cul-de-sac best forgotten.
(Tip of the Satanic LuLuLemon yoga tights to PZ)

Burzynski Clinic - Medical Quacks and Legal Blowhards

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 16:38:00 +0000

Oh man, did these guys step in it. Now that they have been fleecing desperate parents for expensive yet worthless "therapies" for a while, they are getting called out for it. In response to their public outing as charlatans, they are flailing around wildly with threatened lawsuits shooting out from their twitching carcass. Check out a few of the posts around the blogosphere on these cranks:
From Rhys Morgan himself
From PZ
From Andy Lewis
From Orac
From Science Based Medicine
From Skeptic North
From PalMD
From Phil Plait
From Greg Laden
From Larry Moran
From Ministry of Truth
I hope that these and the many other posts on the Burzynski "clinic" and their "treatments" get the word out: quacks should not treat deadly diseases.

iRenew Bracelets Are Worthless Crap

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 00:45:00 +0000

I was going to do a post on the horseshit that is the "iRenew" bracelet - akin to its lawsuit-slathered cousin, the Q-Ray. While researching, however, I discovered a post by a blog called Skeptical Review from back in 2010 that covered the subject quite nicely. Go there and read Craig's post. I'll just have to wait until something else raises my ire over the next couple of days.

Great Influenza Information

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 18:48:00 +0000

Dr. Steve Novella has a nice post up over at Neurologica that answers a common question about the flu vaccine and vaccines in general. As a health-care worker I get asked about that stuff all the time and you'd be surprised how much the silly anti-vax talking points make their way into the lay-person vocabulary and ideology. It takes some calm talking down, but most of them come around eventually.

Both Dr. Novella and Dr. Mark Crislip have excellent articles on flu vaccine efficacy (and everything else).

One Thousand

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 18:41:00 +0000

So my previous post was the one thousandth of my blogging "career". I happened to notice the odometer rolling over and thought it would be a nice place to make a milestone note - I'm coming up to my six-year blogging anniversary (on December 1st) and that means that I have averaged about 166 posts per year which is about 3 posts per week, so I'm happy to keep my moniker of "Mike's Weekly Skeptic Rant". I feel comfortable that I'm at least somewhat holding up my end.

Thanks to everyone who reads/comments, even occasionally, and I look forward to continuing towards the end of the world in December 2012*.

*hahahahaha...sorry, couldn't resist.

Anonymous

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 17:13:00 +0000

You may not agree with all of Anonymous' views, but you have to admire them for Operation Darknet. Crashing servers that host child pornography and posting online, for everyone to see as evidence the information on the group members...pretty great.

WTF, Mexico?!

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 12:54:00 +0000

A 10 year old (baby) girl has given birth in Mexico to a baby boy. The slightly older baby was having seizures so the smaller baby had to be delivered prematurely.

Here's the part that makes me crazy, however:

In that country the age of consent is 12 and abortion is not an option unless rape or sexual assault can be proven.

Um, if the girl is fucking ten (or even nine, depending on when her birthday is and when she was impregnated), doesn't that imply that she was raped/assaulted? To make any other argument seems like that old ploy that pedophiles always pull out: "I know she was ten, but she was so sexy and she was coming on to me, man."

No, assholes, she was ten (or nine). Who has sex with a nine year old? Did Muhammad move to Guadalajara with his winged horse and open a chalupa stand? And who makes the age of consent twelve? What the fuck is wrong with you, Mexico? You guys need to kick the church the hell out of your country so you can get your heads out of your asses.

Captian "Psychic" Obvious

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 14:03:00 +0000

*sigh* So my wife likes to watch Sister Wives. I'm not writing about that (this time), however, this time I am writing about a commercial for Long Island Medium. I was helping Mrs. Heathen out with a crafty endeavor while she killed the time with the aforementioned Mormon entertainment. During this, there were numerous adverts for New York's own Theresa Caputo and her "amazing" talents.

One such moment was shown - she was working out and asks what her trainer did for a living. He says that he is a fire fighter. She then apparently hears the psychic music in her head and asks him...dunh dunh dunh duuuuuuuhhhhhh, "Did something happen about 10 years ago?"

I couldn't help but think, "Um, yeah, how about 9/11?"

If that's "psychic", then there was an important date that everyone reading this had, and I want you to think about it. It was about a year ago as of...about...umm...on or around December twenty...fifth? Does that sound important or significant to you? I see that family was involved but that maybe there was just a tinge of sadness amongst all the happiness.

I read a quick interview by Entertainment Weekly - so obviously it was a hard-hitting, thoroughly researched convers....hahahahaha...sorry, I couldn't resist. It was as softball as it could have been. The balls couldn't have been softer if they were just south of Cookie Monster's (ahem) "Lady Finger".

Here's an interesting exchange:

EW: The last person to really make a splash in this space was John Edward, who was often accused of doing cold readings. What is your response to the skeptics?
Caputo: I’ve never had the privilege to meet John Edward but he had opened the door for mediums. He has laid a beautiful path for us. I would say to skeptics, just have the experience. I had somebody say on my Twitter account, ‘You’re so full of blah blah.’ I said, ‘That’s great, I value your opinion, but why don’t we do a reading on air and then see what you think before you start passing judgement.’

Yes, the "personal experience" gambit. Just try acupuncture/reiki/psychics/chiropractic/my uncle Eddie's magic underarm non-stink formula and you'll believe.

Oh, and ignore all that implausibility and scientific evidence that says my position is ridiculous. That too.

At least Jezebel injects a little bit of skepticism into the mix with this gem:

...she asks a a couple of brawny, blue-collar Italian guys if their late friend liked to drink and party. He loved hanging out and booze, they agreed. It really seems like she's shotgunning and shooting for easy stereotypes. Also, she did a whole mess of readings at her husband's job — a motorcycle repair shop — and magically knew all about the guys her husband works with.

Hammer, meet head of nail. Pound away at your leisure.

Quick end note: Does it bother anyone else that her website on TLC (Ugh, don't get me started on the "Starved For Attention" channel) is: tlc.discovery.com/videos/long-island-medium-i-believe? In short, no, Theresa, I don't believe.

An Excellent Quote

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 14:17:00 +0000

Please take a second and pop over to Paul Ingraham's site, Save Yourself to read a quote that is relevant and important, especially considering I went off on a rant yesterday about reiki being stupid and endorsed by my professional college.

Thanks, Tony, for pointing it out to me.

I Get Mail About Reiki

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 01:56:00 +0000

Some (or most) of you may know that I am a massage therapist in Canada living just outside Toronto. As such, we have to complete what are called "continuing education units" (CEUs) to keep our certification; we must get 30 every 3 years. If you were to, say, read a book that dealt with some aspect of healthcare, you could claim one CEU per every two hours of reading. Most of the CEUs I get are from reading reviews of new studies; keeping tabs on new research and scientific developments in healthcare so as to educate my clients; and watching videos on anatomy, physiology, and pathology.

As would be expected, you can also take courses to get CEUs. These range from the normal (anatomical review, patho-physiological review, new technique development), to the borderline fraudulent (see here and scroll down to "Meridian Massage=Crazy Insane, Got No Brain"). Today in my email, I got a note about courses I can take to get some CEUs and the topic falls squarely in the "Quackery" column. I will go through the email and give my thoughts along the way.

Reiki Level l and ll for Humans and Animals

Nevermind that humans are animals...great apes, to be specific.

REIKI is an ancient Tibetan healing technique involving the "laying on of hands". It is a very powerful, complimentary therapeutic method that augments all other forms of healing. It assists the body's innate healing ability.

Um, not to be pedantic here, but reiki - as stupid as it is - is from Japan, not Tibet. Don't take my word for it, go here to Reiki.org and see for yourself! If you're going to just start making shit up, at least do it so I can't uncover your lies in four seconds. I love also how it says that reiki is "very powerful" and that it "augments all other forms of healing"...yeah, like actual medicine. It augments that really well....

REIKI literally means "Universal Life Force Energy". When one is "Attuned" to this energy by a Reiki Master they become a conduit and this energy flows through the practitioner's hands. The effects of Reiki are numerous and subjective to each person.

This is a pet peeve of mine; the misuse of the word "energy". What, exactly, does this person mean when they use that word? "Energy" is the ability of something to do work, be it chemical, mechanical, nuclear, heat, etc... When it is said that, "...this energy flows through the practitioner's hands", what the fuck does that mean? Do they heat up? Is there a chemical change in the person's hands? If there is "energy" there, then it can be detected by scientific equipment, but guess what? That never happens because these people are full of crap. If I had a crap holding machine and it was at full capacity, it would not have the same amount of crap in it that these people carry around on a typical day. It's astounding.

Some of the common benefits are:

Pain relief
Stress reduction/relaxation
Promotes rapid healing
Balances body energies & energy fields
Helps cleanse toxins from body
Releases emotional & energetic blockages
Re-establishes spiritual & mental well-being

Ah, here we go, claims. This is the real meat & potatos of what's wrong. When this email says that reiki practitioners can "promote rapid healing", that is a testable claim. They are saying that when they do what they do, people who are ill, sick, or injured will get better faster than if they are not there, doing what they do. I wonder if there are any studies on that.... Oh, there's at least one, and its conclusion is not good for bolstering the reiki community.

Conclusion Distant reiki had no significant effect on pain following an elective C-section.

Moving on. Of course they have to throw "toxins" in there because, why the hell wouldn't you at this point? Once you've gone to "Balances body energies and energy fields", you're well into Woo-Woo Land - hell, you're the mayor of WooVille with a big pin on your lapel that says "I (heart) WOO!". You're pretty far from the physics department is what I'm trying to say.

Reiki is easy to learn and simple to practice. The Attunements that each of you will receive are sacred rituals performed by the Reiki Master, and involve opening your chakras to allow the energy to flow through you.

Does this sound inappropriately sexual to anyone else? Anyone?

We are offering 2 degrees or levels of Reiki in this training:

Level I – You learn the history of Reiki, the basic hand positions, how to use it on yourself, animals and others. You will become attuned/connected with a higher vibration. Reiki awakens your intuitive knowing. This is a good review even if you already have Reiki l. RMT's can count the time spent on this Level for Category B CEUs as per the CMTO.

There it is; vibration. You knew it was coming, right? The magic hand positions to vibrate at a higher...well...vibration, so you can "use it on yourself, animals, and others." Careful wording, there. Did you see how they didn't say you can use it to, "heal yourself, animals and others". It's a small difference, but a critical one. It's also so stupid that it's hardly worth insulting, except that it's endorsed by my college. How embarrassing.

Level II – You will exponentially increase your channeling ability (times 4). You will be attuned to use distance healing and will learn the power and mental/emotional symbols. Reiki will accelerate your intuitive powers and increase your ability to invoke and utilize higher vibrational energies. This is a good review even if you already have Reiki ll.

Oooooo! I will increase my channeling ability by four times! I wonder if I'll be able to contact Ramtha?! I love the newage nonsense that is spilling out from this non-paragraph. It has all the buzzwords, doesn't it?

Next up is what I'll learn if I take this valuable, vibrational class.

What you will learn:

What Reiki is and how it can be used to support your health and wellbeing.
How Reiki can be used to support your animal companion's health and wellbeing.
The 5 elements of Reiki and how they apply to your work with animals.
How to approach your animal companions to gain their trust and acceptance.
Hand positions and approaches for using Reiki on both people and animals.
Ways that deepen your relationship with your animal companions.
Techniques for healing animals and others in person.
Techniques for healing animals and others over distance.
Meditations designed to deepen your process

First, can I harken back to a great George Carlin bit about being on the airlines, and them using language to make things sound more important than they are? Can we talk about "animal companion"? Just fucking say "pet", would you please? Thanks.

The rest of the things I'll learn seem to be a bunch of nonsensical claptrap that would get a failing grade if an eleven year old handed it in to their biology teacher. It's a shameful display of ignorance up with which no one should put.

All this for the low LOW price of $297.00! Call today, kids! Man, those Nigerians who keep emailing me about their rich, dead relative should take lessons in financial rape from these reiki frauds. Oh, and just in case you were wondering where the last point was:

This information is not intended to replace veterinary care; we encourage you to use it only as a compliment to it.

Yeah, you knew it was coming, right? A version of the Quack Miranda Warning. These hippis know that their silliness doesn't work so they make sure to cover their asses and tell everyone to keep seeing those "Western, close-minded, allopathic, in-the-pocket-of-Big-Pharma" doctors. The real doctors. The ones who have to show their work, prove their methods are efficacious, and actually help people and their "animal companions".

It's so ridiculous that our profession is associated with this nonsense. No wonder doctors roll their eyes when they hear "massage therapist"; they have every right to as long as this stupid shit is tolerated in our midst. Shame on the CMTO for endorsing reiki.

Movember - The SuperHandleBar

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 01:18:00 +0000

I'm participating in Movember this year to raise money for research into prostate cancer. Several men in my family have had this disease and have been (so far) successfully treated, so I have a vested interest in continuing the trend of kicking cancer in its ass. If you'd like, you can go here to make a donation and help out. Here's a picture of the 'stache as it stands today (I'll include weekly-ish pics of the development):

Thanks, you all. I'm off for a weekend getaway, and then a letter to Delta is coming and a raving, pissy rant about something else. Oh, and a post about Christopher Hitchens, because he's the goddamn man.

Love XKCD

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:50:00 +0000

Another home run for XKCD. Check it out...as I'm sure you already have from about seventeen other sources, and as they've all likely said, read the mouse-over text. It's awesome.

Jewish Men - It Is 2011

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:45:00 +0000

Take a quick look at this article. While you're reading and looking at the accompanying photo, keep in mind that it's 2011 and the story is taking place in New York city, one of the most progressive and largest cities in the world.

Only religion and its archaic, misogynistic, helmet-headed reasoning can get a pass like this. Don't black people have a whole meme about this situation? A famous woman - Rosa Parks, remember? Why the fuck is it different when not just one race, but a whole gender is being discriminated against on a public bus by a bunch of bigoted, unintelligent, sanctimonious douchebags.

And don't even get me started on the hat. It looks like something the Ugandan guy in the third row of the Dave Matthews Band would play. How do you take that fella seriously about anything?

...the mayor (Michael Bloomberg) said that segregating men and women was “obviously not permitted” on public buses. “Private people: you can have a private bus,” he added. “Go rent a bus, and do what you want on it.”

Exactly. So, you're going to fine the offending company and monitor them so they don't act in a discriminatory manner in the future, right? Right? Ok, as always, there will likely be talk, followed by the dull sound of continuing with the status quo.

Why don't women rise as one and tell these costumed idiots to keep their religious nonsense in the synagogue & their homes, and that outside of those places it's about 2000 years past when the stupid ideas that make up their fanciful bullshit were relevant or socially acceptable? That would be great.

Seriously, look at that hat....

A Letter to Today's Parent Magazine

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 14:17:00 +0000

To the Editors of Today's Parent, in particular Deputy Editor Jacqueline Kovacs,

While reading the November 2011 issue of your magazine, I came across a small sidebar in the "your kids Health" section entitled "A flu alternative". This turned out, sadly, to be an endorsement of oscillococcinum. I find it difficult to believe that the entire staff of editors at your magazine are unaware of the implausible and nonsensical nature of homeopathy in general and of the utter farce that is oscillococcinum - the ridiculousness of homeopathy wrapped around an ignorant misunderstanding of a scientific principle by its inventor.

Most people think that homeopathy is just "natural medicine", which is why it remains so poplar despite its silliness. In brief, homeopathy lies on two principles: the law of similars, or "like cures like"; and the law of infinitesimals, or "the more dilute, the better the medicine". Both of these are fundamental to homeopathy and both are wrong.

"Like cures like" means that a substance that causes some reaction in a person can, when properly diluted, cure that reaction (or one like it) in a well person. For example, poison ivy causes itching, therefore a dilution of poison ivy will cure any pruritus (itching). This idea is pre-scientific and wrong. The second "law", dictates that the more dilute the potion, the more effective the "cure". This is claptrap of the highest order. A 30C dilution (quite common) is the equivalent of having one molecule of the "active" ingredient present in a sphere of water with a diameter of about the distance between the Earth and the sun. Think about that for a minute and then ask yourself if you want to recommend this nonsense to your readers.

Adding to the above, oscillococcinum specifically is not even real. The person who invented the product saw, in slides of flu patients, small round particles moving about - oscillating, if you will. He thought that he had discovered the cause of not just the flu, but of all disease and, because of the roundness (cocci) and movement (oscillating), named these particles oscillococcinum.

He was wrong. The "particles" were likely air bubbles and they moved because of Brownian motion. The ludicrous house of cards continued to build, however, and the inventor decided, for whatever reasons he took to the grave with him, that the most concentrated location of these non-existent "oscillococcinum" particles were in the liver and heart of the Muscovy duck. This unfortunate animal has been the source of the dilution material ever since. I cannot do better than 20-year veteran infectious disease doctor Mark Crislip at the group blog Science Based Medicine in telling the tale of oscillococcinum.

You say in your short sidebar, "...a recent US study is backing them (many people) up, concluding that Oscillo 'probably reduces the duration of illness in patients presenting with influenza symptoms.' While that might not seem like a ringing endorsement, homeopathy remains controversial within the North American medical community." This is self-contradictory in that you say the study "backs up" the idea that oscillococcinum works, but immediately after you admit that it is not a "ringing endorsement". Which is it?

Homeopathy is not "controversial" among doctors who keep up with research, know about scientific methods, and have their faculties of critical thinking intact. The public is being knowingly misled by the purveyors of so-called "alternative" medicine because if they explained exactly what it is, their sales would drop off quickly and in large volume. "Alternative" medicine is not a real branch of health - it consists entirely of products that have not been proven to work or have been proved to not work.

Please, your magazine is very popular and usually very good. Get a science editor or at the least, a science consultant who can keep your health advice to parents based in reality and the best knowledge currently available.

Thank you for your attention,

Michael McCarron

Peanut Allergy? SCIENCE!

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 21:14:00 +0000

Scientists seem to have worked out how to fix food allergies in a mouse model, giving hope to sufferers of severe peanut allergies. Check out the article here for the full deets.

Basically, what these awesome people did is attach peanut proteins to white blood cells and then re-introduce the cells to the mice. Paul Bryce, PhD, study co-author, explained thusly:

T cells come in different 'flavors'. This method turns off the dangerous Th2 T cell that causes the allergy and expands the good, calming regulatory T cells. We are supposed to be able to eat peanuts. We've restored this tolerance to the immune system.

How great is that? Science, bitches.

Jews Fling the Poos

seal_35@hotmail.com (BHM) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 03:13:00 +0000

So ultra-orthodox jews can suck it.

Check out this disgusting story via the BBC about a girls school being "picketed" by ultra-orthodox jews (no, I will not capitalize that word here) because the girls are "not dressed conservatively enough".

The girls are orthodox jews, but apparently unless you're "ultra" orthodox, you're just a harlot out for cock, and that's embarrassing, dammit. The men in the black dresses with the delightful ringlets think that it's not appropriate, for heaven's sake.

Side note: why do these assholes always dress so effeminately? Priests wear dresses, these ultra-orthodox idiots wear dress-like coats and have pretty hair curls; what gives? I think they're just pent-up gay dudes over-compensating. Just my theory.

In any event, what sort of pathetic cowardly losers throw rocks, tomatoes, eggs, and feces at little kids? Funny how when the police show up - you know, the other grown men in this story - these false-bravado jelloheads stop coming around. I guess it's only fun to pick on 9 year old kids when no fellas are there to punch you in the face for it.

Jews, you need to reign in these potatoheads and tell them to chill. If I'm going to yell at Muslims to put a cork in those jihadi motherfuckers, then I have to hold the line and yell at you to lay a beat-down on the curlique brigade when they start throwing shit at children. Capisce?

Tip of my enraged hat to Rebecca at Skepchick