A Penang Wedding & Portrait Photographer's Blog - Milan Teh • heartfelt photography

Diarrhoea!

Milan Teh — Sat, 31 Mar 2018 08:32:53 +0000

I just realized I haven't blogged for half a year! Let's start off this year's first post with a 'bang'! I confess that this title is somewhat a clickbait, but it's also the real surprise highlight of this wedding that I'm going to share.

An unconventional couple will usually yield an unconventional wedding. This is true with Ewen & Ann Jie whose wedding held in Lone Pine Hotel Penang. Both of them are game designers, the wedding is not like the norm even a young guest would expect.

Imagine this:
A bride who accidentally scared the makeup artist when she intentionally squeezes ugly double chin face into a mirror for a selfie.

The bridesmaids marching in with bright pom poms, colourful dresses and intro of a song that sounds like a tribal dance rather than something like pretty in white etc. The intro immediately reminded me of the Zuma Deluxe game in 2003.

Or how about a friend who helps to officiates the ceremony and who gets away from saying these in front of your parents/ relatives/ friends.
- every wedded couple has 3 rings, the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring
- I now pronounce you, awfully wedded husband and wife

What about a colorful dinner reception backdrop depicting a somewhat psycho bride, runaway groom and chaos rather than the typical beautiful and perfect stuff? (comic drawn by the bride Ann Jie by the way)

To top it off, the highlight or I'd say shocker especially to the groom and groomsmen of the wedding, happened during the wedding ceremony when it's the bride's turn to share her vows. As you've guessed already, it's about a real story of diarrhoea.

So a couple of years ago, they went to a fine dining restaurant. That time they have been dating for about a year already. Unfortunately, Ann Jie got food poisoned from the dinner. Apart from throwing up, she said she's got an intense bombing situation in the toilet which was described like this. It was so bad that she got dizzy and passed out in the toilet in the midst of the epic war.

Ewen sensed something not right as she went into the toilet far too long. He went to check out what's wrong and there, a girl laying half naked in the toilet at her weakest and vulnerable state. Worse, a smelly one that no one should ever see. Ewen cleaned Ann Jie, picked her up, send her to the hospital. A few years later, they got married.

Sharing this story, by a lady in her wedding dress, on her wedding day in front of sooo many people publicly takes courage. The story wets many peoples' eyes although that later on, rather than saying cheese, families and guests are taking pictures saying ' diarrhoea! '.

&.b.t.w. - If you are curious about the chilli and onion thingy in the gallery below. It's a 'voodoo' believed to help hold the rain from pouring.

&.&.b.t.w. - I think Ewen & Ann Jie has to be one of the most responsible couple I've photographed. Almost whole night they were seen mingling with guests. You'd see Ann Jie, walking with her fish on chopstick here and there.

&.&.&.b.t.w. - After marching out, maxing out our time with a bit of group photos just before tea ceremony, it rained cats and dogs.

Turning 30

Milan Teh — Mon, 18 Sep 2017 06:10:37 +0000

Two weeks ago I turned 30. To some people this is nothing, to some others it's a big deal like giving birth since this is quite the first experience of feeling-old. To me, I felt it's a timely reminder to reflect and opportunity to overhaul my life by revisiting all decisions I've made and about to make.

Throwing back 8 years ago, I made a big bet by withdrawing myself from the part-time ICT degree I've gone through for two semesters. I couldn't see myself feeling happy working 9-5 in a cubicle on things that doesn't genuinely interest me. Spending lots of time hustling in traffic jams to-and-fro between work and home is a huge turn off too. I wrote in a more elaborated post of the happenings and thought process during that time here if you are interested.

I'm not willing to be tied with a huge study loan after finishing studies nor I want to burden my father to support my tertiary education. As much as what many people think how good a paper certificate may be, I think not all of them will make our return of investment of time-and-money justice, it's true for my particular situation cause the academic side of things are not my forte. At that time my younger self thought, although competitors and photographers around me are around their 30's, I should be able to achieve something by the age of 30 too seeing photos I take gets a bit of compliments and generates little income even I'm just a beginner at my early 20's. Luckily, it wasn't a blinded and inflated perception. Fast forward today, being a photographer helped me arrive adulthood just alright.

Though it sounded very easy, the struggles and fear for the first few years are very real after I decided to quit my studies. This is not what people can / normally do in Asia, many have at least a diploma or degree being a safety net or risk being ridiculed by other people especially the older generations and despised by peers. I stopped at A levels. At the beginning, it's very depressing cause almost everyone around me is studying and at some point I felt like a total failure especially the first few years of starting out full time in photography. I have no assurance of what I can work as without the entry ticket of a paper certificate, and there were little to no business cause I'm starting out fresh without any client base or connections.

Moving on, I remember 28 (2015) is the year my ego side felt proud of myself. It's the age I receive platinum credit cards, eligible for new car and house loans on my own name and got through my own wedding without parents' sponsor. It's all done without a paper certificate and while I am self-employed, to me this is huge. I still remember at some point in early 2012, I bump into cashflow issue due to the lack of proper budgeting and near the end of the same year, I started dating with my then-girlfriend-now-wife who works in Singapore. I visit Singapore every or bi-monthly, with the currency exchange of 1 SGD against 2.5-3+ MYR over the years. All these felt like achievements cause they seemed to be tall orders that kept me awake at night. I used to secretly doubt I could ever achieve them unless I change my career path. In hindsight, it's amazing to see how I got through these and it's also kinda silly I felt proud too cause it's really no biggie. There are many more people who did even better, I shouldn't be complacent. So basic material thingy... checked.

Looking ahead, there will certainly be new challenges like being more serious about investing and the retirement funds, allocating sufficient time for work and also family, deciding what's really essential for my next 10 years' career path, figuring ways to take myself to a better level as a photographer etc.

For the first 30 years, I am glad with how many things turned out to be but there are aspects which I hope to have more improvements too. Some things that are certain in another 30 years:
1) 40, 50, and 60 y.o will be less of a big deal cause I'm used to being an 'uncle' already
2) I will be in a less busy-ish retirement state (hopefully)
3) My parents would likely be gone by then due to old age
4) I will be gone too if I don't take good care of my overall health

I will never be able to thank all of you enough, who helped me throughout this whether direct or indirectly - you, who read this or still care about what I do, people who talked about me with friends or family, clients who took a risk of hiring a nobody photographer, friends who helped and supported me at my worst. You all matter.

I hope to continue being a positive and helpful friend to you throughout my life.

Perfect Day For Prewedding

Milan Teh — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 19:09:52 +0000

This is a relative term from one person to another. A perfect day for a photo shoot can be it's raining, but when it's time for the shoot the rain stopped. Or, it could be that we encounter a very beautiful day that is unbelievable.

Together with Adelard & Linda, we've experienced both. EnEn is the integral furry family member of Linda whom she really wanted to include in her prewedding photos. Since that we couldn't bring EnEn from Singapore to our main location Penang, we made do with a grassy field at Tuas in Singapore.

Adelard & Linda wanted to put up a stylized shoot for the short session in Singapore and they are very well prepared with props, layering for stuffs, drinks etc, just look at the first picture! That day when Linda is doing her makeup halfway, it actually rained. This of course concerns us whether we should postpone to another day.

I felt it's very important that we persevere until reaching the location. Simply because when it's raining, not every area rains at the same time. Also from past experiences, weather forecast in Asia doesn't seem to be super accurate either. I've lost count the number of times forecast says it will rain but I could still finish the entire outdoor session smoothly!

However, the opposite is true, a good forecast doesn't guarantee it'll be a better day for a photo shoot either. Despite the risks, the reward of a successful outdoor photo session is invaluable, we can only try our best and pick a dryer season to have the shoot. Turned out that when we reach Tuas, the weather and the ground are DRY! Lucky that the couple obliged with my suggestion too, the makeup effort is not wasted.

A stylized shoot involves some arranging work and rental of props if it's not done by vendors like florist or wedding planner. It can be a bit of a hassle sourcing around, but this gives a personal touch of uniqueness cause you are doing it yourself through your own vision and aesthetics.

The cloudy dry weather held throughout our session until after the sun sets. Although we don't have visible sun rays during sunset, we've got a calming and comfortable mood for the pictures created even with countless photobombing by the clingy EnEn when we don't need it's presence.

A couple of weeks later, it's time for the main prewedding photo session in Penang. I never put any weather expectation for any shoot because it can be anything, I'll make the best out of it. But guess what, at the time I stood by my car ready to head out to pick the couple, I looked up to the sky and I see stars. The exact kind of sky and clarity one would wish for, to photograph the milky way. In layman terms, it's super awesome!

I can't help to smile every time when I see very clear stars in the morning before heading out from home. It usually means a good day, at least for the morning. To our surprise, it is the BEST DAY EVER throughout my career, still holds true till date! It's almost cloudless, the sky is so blue that reflection on the sea is unbelievably blue till the extent that I need to reduce the saturation in my editing! This has never ever happened before. We often need to boost the vibrance but it's never the opposite!

The blues and warmth you see in the Penang series are actually original. Or they have already being toned down by me. It's ridiculously beautiful and vivid without needing to edit anything. The blue is super blue while the sun light at dawn & dusk is very strong and warm in color it sets a really nice feel to the pictures, it's crazy! I'm so jealous till I hate them. ahaha.. I jest. My words are not at the level of making the pictures justice yet, but indeed, we've experienced perfect days.

&.b.t.w. - From my recent visit last month, the look of this famous spot in Tuas, Singapore is no longer suitable for photos. At least half of the area where we were shooting are now in the midst of construction, likely for a new factory. When we were doing this shoot last year, on and off you'd see couples coming for their prewedding photos too.

Counting Down 20 Years

Milan Teh — Sat, 13 May 2017 14:59:48 +0000

In 20 years, I might be too weak to photograph fast paced weddings.
In 20 years, we may have attended a few funerals of someone near our age.
In 20 years, will I still see my mum?

Life for the past 20 years are filled very quickly with mostly school and many things I'm not interested with. Those days were gone and I can't go back to fix things. When I tell some friends that my life at 50's is something I should be concerned right now despite this year is the busiest moment in my career till date. A few laughed at me saying I'm overly paranoid. I disagree.

I'm turning 30 this year, starting to get even more sensations of being a complete adult as I'm experiencing added responsibilities one after another. This is the age where one would chase for growth and some stability as monthly commitments increase and this usually translates to more work, less family time in the name of working for the future. It's especially true for the employed/self-employed.

Hustling through work... one day, I realized something very real. In another 20 years, will I still see my mum?

My mum is a very simple lady. Not highly educated but I find that her just-do-it-for-family attitude is admirable. Ranging from catching cockroaches, handling dead bodies of my pets, preparing 3 meals every single day and much much more. Throughout her life after married, she also had to persevere a lot of non-sense I've created when I'm way younger and being thrown responsibilities she never asked for.

This is how my mum goes to the wet market every single day without fail. It's how she takes care of the family's well being. Buying fresh materials to cook, prepping meals and repeat. Rain or shine. It's also the same vehicle that helps her to buy food to prepare Chinese New Year reunion dinner for 15 people or more. I've seen it first hand that someone's mum complained how inconvenient it is to go out during rain with her SUV that costs 6 figures, then decided not to go out to get food. Wow..

If there's a 'happy meter', I'd definitely buy one for my mum, I'm very curious if she's happy cause she doesn't has the best things in life. She doesn't often express the negative side of her feelings too.

My mum has got through 30 years with me in life, she's always there. But at my point of true realization, I might be considered lucky if I'm left with 20 quality years with her cause no one knows what will happen. I don't have a conclusion for this post but I just really want to keep reminding myself that work and family time needs a balance. Time is ticking and bad things often catch us when we least expect.

Realized how many more years you're counting down?

&.b.t.w. - Wishing all the awesome responsible mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day!

Fun Time

Milan Teh — Fri, 14 Apr 2017 11:39:05 +0000

I knew the groom, Keong since 1999 while Susan around 2002. When they asked me to be their wedding photographer, I'm really happy for them after dating more than a decade and already foresee how their series of photos would look like - laughter, lots of laughter based on their cheerful personality.

The makeup started early in the morning and thunderstorm follow suit after the makeup started, it inevitably caused some anxieties to all of us for how to finish the shoot cause we have mostly outdoor locations scheduled. As we reached Georgetown area, the rain subsided and only some drizzle is seen. We sat at a Wantan Mee stall while waiting for the rain to stop completely. It's certainly not for the faint-hearted to be sitting at a hawker stall in their bridal attire!

&.b.t.w. - Despite the weather and forecast doesn't look promising, our day got through just nicely except for work calls hunting the couple in between the photo session.

Tiana & David

Milan Teh — Sun, 12 Mar 2017 08:09:04 +0000

When I first received email from Tiana knowing they are organizing a sunset cruise reception after the wedding ceremony in Westin Langkawi, I am stoked.

It's my first and only encounter to arrangements like such locally in Malaysia throughout my career till date. The experience on the yacht is beautiful to say the least, many small islands around Langkawi coupled with the perfect weather on the day forms amazing view. It's the sort of beautiful scenery many Malaysian locals seek overseas, but it's all the while in our home country.

Along the way, we stopped by one of the uninhabited island to spend some time before the sun sets and dinner. It's a perfect day to celebrate with an intimate group of family & friends.

&.b.t.w. - Very fortunate that we don't get any sea sick. I'm the type of person who feels nausea on the bumpy boat ride from Penang/Kedah to Langkawi. The yacht was smoother than a public bus.

&.&.b.t.w. - If you are looking for yacht services in Langkawi for your wedding or party, we had a really good time and service from the staffs at Naam.

My Own Wedding, part 2/2

Milan Teh — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 07:26:48 +0000

Fast forward my last entry in Musing, today is one year anniversary of my own wedding and we are still in a long destination relationship between Penang and Singapore. The initial idea of putting up a wedding is scary cause I wasn't sure what challenges that would come to us. Not in fear or anything else, but the main obstacle of planning anything is usually the people involved, the politics.

Born in typical Asian families, it's an obligation from the parents to invite as many important relatives/people, for the tea ceremony and the wedding reception. Having photographed hundreds of weddings waking as early as the bride and leaving as late as the couple from the reception, it's easily that I've clocked more 'wedding experience' than my entire clan/families combined this life time. Thus it's inevitable that I'd have certain expectations of how I want my wedding to be. Maybe a nice looking ceremony and reception with pretty details, maybe at a garden or a beach would be fantastic.

But as we started the discussion and planning, what I envisioned starts to deviate further and further as it's seemingly less practical already considering the bigger picture in mind. It's a tad disappointing at first cause I know exactly which direction it's about to be headed to. But ultimately, we agreed that the priority is to make the process as simple, cost reasonable whilst respecting each family's culture ensuring the family members are happy. Else, we could have easily avoided all the trouble but just to sign a formal paper and have a simple meal with both sides immediate families. A wise groom once told me the wedding day is transient, not the most important thing to sweat about. In hindsight, I couldn't agree more.

I knew my wife around 2004 in the Penang Symphony Orchestra we join. I had a crush on her but nothing really happened until 2012. Though we have dated only 3 years before decided to get married, the prior communication and understanding between us are really comfortable. Some people thought they needed even more time to know the other person but no time is actually long enough. I don't quite know my father even we stayed under the same roof for more than two decades. I thought, she is the one I could spend the rest of my boring life with. Yes, getting married is not as exciting as how the wedding photography or video looked on the wedding day. I'd like to think that people decided to get married because we have finally found someone compatible that is willing to go through majority of typical(boring) days with us. Getting people that come and go quickly in our life who are only happy to go through exciting times with us are not difficult honestly.

At our mid stage of courtship, I've secretly budget and think about the wedding seeing she feels like the one. A friend was of huge help by sharing her entire wedding budget with me so I have a better picture of what to expect. Looking at the dates, our anniversary looked like a good one for the wedding as it's a Saturday in year 2015. Else, the next exact date that would fall on a weekend will be another 5 years later when we would be 33 years old in year 2020. Seeing sooner or later it will happen anyway, might as well get it done as soon so we will have more quality couple life before more responsibilities were put on our shoulders.

With that in mind, I am determined and decided to strike for the proposal on a night she came back to Penang on mid of January 2015. As both of us are quiet introverts, I hope to create an experience that will serves as a pleasant surprise at a personal level at least. I am still clueless how a person will know the ring size of their partner before a proposal. Obviously if I were to pretend bringing her to any accessories shop to try on rings or to measure the size of her finger with a thread while she is asleep wouldn't work. These will only give away what's about to come. She is very smart and that would annoy me if she burst my surprise bubble in advanced. I'm not fond of buying a not-so-right size of ring and then to have it altered after the proposal. I insisted to have it right.

One day, an idea came up. Why not I just buy a ring sizer thingy and propose with just that. I haven't heard of people doing it that way and it gets the job done just nice. So I ordered one through Amazon and wrote a proposal message to her in a notebook we are supposed to keep our memories together in. On that night, after picking her up from the airport I suggested to go to a nearby beach just to chat a bit before I send her home. It's past 11pm and way beyond her usual bed time. I kinda fear the whole process will be screwed but I guess she would be awaken by the proposal! The heart was racing fast as we are closing to the beach while she is in a semi falling asleep situation.

The weather is excellent that night, no haze, no rain. Just a clear night with skyful of stars being the perfect backdrop for my mission at the beach we enjoy going. I get her to read the page of note with my personal message while I light it with phone, then I kneel on the sand and asked her to marry me while bringing out the ring sizer. hehe.. It worries me a bit when she paused for several seconds thinking cause she don't see this coming so soon. It's the reason why I didn't want to make a noisy big scale proposal surprise with lots of people or fancy settings as often than not, it can be a form of mental pressure to make one nods. Fortunately after an eternity, she said yes. :)

The next day, we went to a shopping place with the mission of getting our wedding rings bought. It was a really tiring process screening every product every single shop has and to try it on our fingers. After several hours going through, we found the one.

I guess, the wedding is 50% done at this stage after she said yes. Moreover, her mother was wondering when we will want to get married for some time already. The next thing I needed to do is to persuade her to have the wedding in 10 months time. With the surprise that I proposed and still adjusting the mind to what's about to happen, I can relate it must be a lot for her to think about. She thought it's too rushed to have the wedding on the same year but I explained about the date and it's actually not hard for us cause I knew what we needed and where and how exactly to get them. Moreover being self-employed, my time is very flexible in doing many of the things related to the wedding. She obliged after few days discussing about it. The next thing I did was contacting at least 21 restaurants + hotels that fits our budget for availability to hold the joint wedding reception that can host about 450 people.

Constantly there are a number of things to think about and pending for execution but they aren't as hard as what we thought when dealing with it one at a time. Putting these into a Google Sheet is handy to plan the wedding together and keep track of the timeline getting things done. I have shared about planning a wedding from my experience here. We are very glad we pulled through the wedding while we are still young, there are much more important things to focus in life after this.

Summing up my own experience for the wedding, I am very happy with how everything turned out except for a few regrets which I wished to improve upfront. First, in hope of not troubling other people too much, I didn't delegate as much tasks as I should for the reception night. I ended up very busy running around looking after some stuff here and there. Two, instead of showing a childhood montage like everyone else, I created a session called Story Time with us sharing personal stories in a presentation style on stage - about our childhood, how we get together etc till the day comes. I've also put up a surprise performance for my wife on stage. It's all good but the time management is a little out of place as I didn't really micro-manage the timing for the entire dinner reception. As a result, I mingled less with guests and friends. We didn't set a time to go around taking pictures with our friends either. Luckily a number of them stayed through to get a picture with us before leaving and that means a lot.

As I said before, make time to take pictures with family & friends or it may not happen. For a typical Asian wedding reception, this is a dilemma. If we are serious about spending quality time with everyone who comes to the wedding, it's literally impossible cause we are outnumbered. More than 400 people turned out that night, this also means we need to talk to 3 people every minute non-stop, not eating. This will also totally defeat the purpose of putting a wedding reception if the wedded couple didn't get to eat or let alone enjoy the night. I wished the reception was of a much smaller scale but it is what it is. We are still looking forward to meet with everyone personally to spend quality time catching up after this.

Next up, we will try settling down somewhere suitable for us and the future from year 2017. I am looking forward to write another new chapter together with TingYin and see where this will leads us to.

&.b.t.w. - Wedding photography was done by Mocco Studio.

&.&.b.t.w. - The first picture of the guys with laundry clip, I almost gave up but seeing the guys were very determined, it got me highly motivated. It's the worst pain to endure!

CheeHan & Reza + Sam

Milan Teh — Wed, 09 Nov 2016 07:42:45 +0000

5 years ago, CheeHan & Reza had their wedding in Lone Pine Hotel, Penang. I get to know CheeHan cause I helped Joan with replying some enquiries on makeup back then. But they already had their wedding photographer booked that time.

Fast forward this year, CheeHan & Reza are coming back to Penang again all the way from Netherlands to celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary together with their boy Sam at the very same hotel they got married. Quoting what CheeHan said to me, 'You were always the photographer I had in mind for our 5 years anniversary shoot. I knew it the day after our wedding! It was just a matter of time.'

Sam is very cute, first set of pictures is like 'oh no, strangers in the room' and he is observing me with the big black box carefully holding his favorite aapy. He loves both the father and mother but has an issue when the father gets too close to the mother! Very happy to be seeing familiar faces again and regardless, this is exactly the vision I had for a Family Diary session that I enjoy creating. There's no pretense, it's not about perfection nor aware about the camera all the time but really just family spending time together being themselves.

SueMei & WeiQiang

Milan Teh — Wed, 09 Nov 2016 04:21:54 +0000

We get to visit an interesting venue for this shoot at Tanjong Pagar railway platform in Singapore thanks to the couple's suggestion.

It's growing in me about the process of just exploring places with people and create pictures. After all, everything else is secondary except the connection of the two in pictures.

Michelle & Anthony

Milan Teh — Sun, 04 Sep 2016 17:18:11 +0000

I just love photographing the wedding of Michelle & Anthony in Penang which took place at the E&O Hotel. Simply because they don't exert any specific expectations on me. When prompted further, the request was merely 'we trust you with what you do best'.

Though the day started at the afternoon, little Asian grooms would have any opportunity to escape the gate crashing games that are made difficult for them to prove the groom's determination to get the bride. You can see we have some tough bridesmaids planking after their lunch to warm up for the battle and also making sure the meal won't be a potential hazard for the zip of dress exploding.

One thing I really like to see is the team work between the friends and couple themselves putting up some of the finishing touches for the ceremony and reception even under hot sun in their formals. At one point, the mother of bride finally thought it's enough and intervened as Michelle has been walking around too much to do all these in her wedding dress before the ceremony.

The energy throughout the wedding day is awesome. It's evident especially from the second half of the reception and exchange of words through the vows and speeches are really moving. It's still vivid in my head that Michelle's father shared a joke that caused a 'huge uproar' from the dinner crowd. So one day Anthony shared with him about diamond's 4C(cut, carat, color, clarity) as he bought Michelle a really huge diamond ring. I think the outline is bigger than my pinky's nail.

Being someone who worked with a huge aquarium company before, Michelle's dad instantly reminded about the company's standard practice to getting the best fishes from the sea - by using the big fat bait. And of course, the exhibits caught will never be fed with such luxurious meal anymore after that for the obvious cost reason. Linking the big fat bait to the diamond ring just cracked everyone hard! Anthony father's speech is no less entertaining too. He explained that he was very nervous to deliver a speech so he made himself really drunk before going on stage. What ensues caught everyone unexpected.

CheeHan & XiaoHui

Milan Teh — Thu, 21 Jul 2016 17:07:43 +0000

I still remember vividly that exchanging emails with this couple felt like writing long essays because every email they've sent me is simply very very long. Also, I still can't believe that I made XiaoHui climbed a tree in the wedding dress at the Botanic Garden in Penang. hehe..

Fortunately, both CheeHan & Xiao Hui are very kind people who are just detail oriented. On photo session day, we are like participating in Amazing Race due to the distance of locations we are covering within Penang, we had to watch the timeline carefully and chase over every bit of available sunlight.

Being his mother's hometown, I'm also lucky to be able to visit and photograph part of this pre-wedding portrait at the Cameron Highlands with CheeHan's direction. The Mossy Forest must be one of the most epic scenes to be at in Malaysia!

&.b.t.w. - Great experience from this shoot and it's even better when the couple is caring and comfortable to hang out with. They even wrote me a postcard and brought me a souvenir from honeymoon trip at Iceland!

&.&.b.t.w. - I rarely ask for selfies but this is a memorable one as we all made the way up high to the Mossy Forest in Cameron Highlands. It's a very cold and wet place where I started to experience a runny nose as soon we got up. Not to mention the mist + wind that kept making us wet and some adventure the couple needs to go through to walk through the soft mushy soil in this attire. But the result is well worth the challenges.

Getting Married 101 - Asians

Milan Teh — Fri, 08 Jul 2016 17:40:45 +0000

Whether he popped the question, or popped a bun in your oven. For better or worse it will change both your life, forever. Then there are like a million things to think through till the day comes.

Having gone through hundreds of weddings waking as early as the bride and leaving the wedding dinner later than most guests, I have simple observations of how things work. It's not even a surprise, that I have more wedding experience than my whole family combined this life time. But for the record, I have only one wife.

There's a 'frame work' behind all these hectic day we are seeing. I think this could serves as a simple guide for what you can gradually do to build up the whole wedding from scratch. Start early like a year ahead if you don't want to feel rushed. All of them together looked daunting, but do it one at a time and you will be fine.

If your family and spouse-to-be isn't a fan of any typical big wedding and you are not obliged to have any sort of celebrations, you can stop reading here now. Just sign the legal paper at the registration office and have a meal between closest family members and friends. :)

The Date

Who's the boss. Is either one of your parents or grandparents particular about 'good date' and their view matters a looooooooooot?

No? It's your big day! Pretty much your say and reasonable considerations you'd know much better than anyone else. Your wedding is and should be personal rather than obligatory or trend-following, if you have a choice that is. Make it unique and personable.

If 'good date' matters, look for the person who can find an auspicious date for you (elderly at home probably knows it if this matters). They could be someone from temple, feng shui place or maybe even Chinese wedding dowry shops like Red Knot in Penang or one that's near you.

The Budget & Timeline

Many people went overboard on the amount of what they wish to spend. The culprit is often the absence of a realistic budget vs expectations. I was secretly finding out prices long before I proposed. And very fortunately, I have a friend that is very willing to share her wedding budget with me. I know most of your concerns so I decided to pay it forward by sharing.

You can actually put up a simple spreadsheet with numbers. Say, Google Sheet is a nice & free place to start cause both of you can make changes and see it instantly from mobile or computer. If you are interested, feel free to start building from my actual planning sheet that's empty. Login to your Gmail, go to File -> Make a copy... to start using.

Before you gather actual quotes, list down some rough reasonable numbers you think you are willing to spend for each items like: rings, Milan Teh, videography, makeup, attires & accessories, angpow, wedding downries, deco for spaces or bridal car, bouquet/corsage/boutonniere, catering, music band, ceremony related costs, dinner expenses, invitation card, liquor, emcee, gifts, and misc.

Being reasonable is important, because it's happier to find out you saved money from certain things than to find out other wise right? For each item, put a target month you think it's good to have them crossed off. Then it won't be as stressful when the date draws closer. As for budget, bear in mind that collected angpows may ease you at the end of the day. Just don't rely on it yet, cause obviously you will need cash to pay everything upfront.

The Venue

Google is your best friend, wedding photographers can be the second. Obviously, you may not know all the options around you unless you've asked enough married couples or have a collection of venue names from the entire state in hand. If you ask nicely enough, wedding photographers could give you some good pointers based on what you are looking for. Clearly, we know what looks nice for pictures.

Before approaching the venue staff, have a talk with parents if possible to come up with a rough figure of people you'd like to invite. Or the sub-list of 'I-don't-even-know-them-but-gotta-invite-anyway-guests' in Asians' term ;)

To ask about the availability, booking terms and what is the maximum capacity are good questions. The other questions you might have would arise itself eventually. You know, things like food menu & costs to use the space, corkage fees, halal or non-halal or vegetarian food and stuff.

You might want to know what is their default arrangements too, like how the dinner place usually looks like in a wedding reception and whether the default is suffice? Or do you want to spice things up by hiring third party florist or planner? Do they have sound/PA system for you to use if you need one? Some venue charges entertainment license fees too if you play music that is not own/provided by the hotel.

The Professionals

This is pretty much self explanatory. You can opt to have none if budget is super tight. Often, these are wants, not needs. There I've said it.

Just because peers have something in their wedding doesn't mean they are must-haves for yours. Life is like a piece of white paper. What it is depends largely on what you chose to fit inside. Everyone's priority varies.

But if you do need any, here's a few to consider:
Milan Teh, attire/gown source, videographer/cinematographer, florist, wedding planner, makeup artist, emcee, live band, celebrant or people who helps with the wedding ceremony. Google can help a lot with getting few names of these professionals for you to consider.

The Attires

At a reasonable level, a bride only needs one wedding dress. And maybe, one other wedding dinner gown at most. That's it. It's much easier for guys, we only need a set of formal attires for the wedding. I simply bought mine from H&M, hah...

This holds true even for a pre-wedding photo session. Consider this, maybe you don't want to feel like a fashion show or doing homework - chasing scenes or fulfilling gown-changing-quota. Wedding portrait is supposed to be about both of you, your personality and how you interact with each other. No?

Think about this, we usually walk about in comfortable clothing everywhere carefree. The best way to reflect that is to be our usual-selves even in pictures so the value within is the authentic emotions.

I saw instances that couples are nicely warmed up and very happy for shoot but guess what, it's time to change to the 2/7 gown! I find it pity and more Asian couples especially should be aware of this. Go for quality time.

Learn about the shortcomings of having formal attires in a photo shoot in here.

The Customary

This is way too big of a topic to cover in this post cause Asians could be having weddings of a fusion nature or one like: Malay, Chinese, Indian, Christian, Punjabi and much more. Learn from newly weds or elderly, find out timing needed and people involved.

Timing of the day is important especially letting everyone knows where, when and what is going to happen - the itinerary. Try make the itinerary idiot-proof. Don't forget to consider how people who are helping you will travel too and their meals. Don't be shy to ask for help. Real friends are very very happy to contribute on your wedding day!

Some time buffer should be slotted in for every single occasion cause people might be late or in case something unexpected turn up. You can only micro-manage so much. Chances are, many things during a wedding day is out of your control because it involves a lot of other people. Setting up time buffer gives you free play when the situation arises.

The Invitation

Here comes to the interesting part, cause arriving here means you are likely more than 50% ready.

At least half a year before the wedding date, you should long have a list of people you wanted to invite already. Don't forget you will need to confirm head count with the hotel/restaurant/caterer too. It's even truer to destination weddings where your guests might need to take leave, book their flight and accommodations!

Facebook and physical card are popular ways to send out the invitation these days. Some hotels or restaurants may give you standard cards for use. If you want more personalized one, you can look for places that print name card to get your invitation card done. Or even better, diy!

TL;DR

A wedding should be personal and memorable. Common sense and a rational mind will likely solve most things. Appoint someone who can help to make important decisions on the wedding day, this is important to stay sane and live into the moment. Do allocate time to take pictures with family and friends, else it may not happen speaking from experience.

Free yourself from fixed expectations, just go with the flow as it is on the day cause you will likely be much more happier. A wise groom once told me, "it's not important, wedding day is transient."

Hope the sharing is useful and happy planning to all the wedding-couples-to-be!

A Day Out at Bon Ton Resort Langkawi

Milan Teh — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 13:26:31 +0000

Diqeen & Wani + Nora came from Singapore the very first time for a short getaway. Also to celebrate 3rd wedding anniversary and Diqeen's birthday at Bon Ton Resort in Langkawi.

Having often travel to Langkawi myself, I have yet to set foot in here. Bon Ton Resort is a very relaxing place and you could feel it by just looking at first sight. The rooms are actually small kampung houses.

Houses like these are rare gems these days even to me and it's a unique experience especially for Nora who's born at a city like Singapore. Nora was super shy at first but eventually open up as we played more throughout the session.

I'm out of words but love the mood of this series a lot. Looking forward to doing it more often, to be part of people's life and document their visual diary.

&.b.t.w. - Wishing all Muslims around the world Eid Mubarak! Have a good time with your family.

&.&.b.t.w. - Just came across this, 'not everyone gets to spend Raya with their famillies.' I personally have encountered going through Chinese New Year alone for two years. Or you can relate better by thinking of spending Christmas alone while others have reunion with families.

It's not easy. Maybe we should try to lighten up these people's day if you happened to encounter one who is in this situation :)

&.&.&.b.t.w. - I looooove Malay food!

My #hariraya2016 so far. Spent some time with one of my favourite family and first time in life to try Pengat Durian. It's a MUST TRY for Durian lovers! #igmy #1malaysia

A photo posted by @milanteh on Jul 7, 2016 at 1:05am PDT

A Colorful Exam

Milan Teh — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 15:54:00 +0000

Every individual culture of wedding felt like a little exam to wedding photographers. Simply because there are many we need to know upfront and prepare accordingly for the day.

This is especially true for Sunisha and Hung Yii's wedding, it seems like a major examination to me because it's a cross cultural wedding. We have a fun happy Punjabi bride and Chinese groom and the wedding ceremonies of two cultures held on the very same day + some quick portraits to take either. You'll see why I said it's like a major exam to me and probably the couple too.

Typically, Asians have prewedding (Love Diary/bridal portrait) photographs taken before the wedding because the customary would have taken a lot of time from the day and there's a dinner reception to get ready for. So, doing a portrait while feeling totally relaxed is impossible.

The day started with me documenting Sunisha's preparation at 5am, followed by picking up of bride, 'gate crashing games' seen in many Chinese wedding nowadays, Punjabi wedding ceremony at Wadda Gurdwara Sahib in Penang, lunch, transfer images from memory cards, shower & change, quickly head to Rasa Sayang Resort for quick portrait session and then tea ceremony at 5pm and then a dinner reception to follow throughout the night.

It's basically non-stop for me since waking up at 4am in the morning. My watch would give you a rough idea of how's my day has been - a wedding photographer's day at work.

Apart from little space to move around when there are large group of people, doing the express-sameday-slideshow is the most challenging one for me. I have to steal every minute I had in between everything I needed to do to make the show happen during the wedding dinner. The couple opted to show the day through only the photographs. Hah, no pressure at all!

I've picked and edited more than 200 photos as quick I could and added two songs to match the mood I wanted to convey. There's no time for me at all to 'proof watch' the entire show before going to the big screen cause it's already a little behind schedule. A little software glitch that popped up didn't help either. The emcee, Flying Singh helped to create a funny game with the guests to manage the time.

With a huge sigh of relief, here's my submission for the exam..

&.b.t.w. - I have several thumbs-up from the main table showing directly to me. That's all that made these effort worth it even I could only manage to take my dinner near 10pm or despite I am still having sore shoulders and legs as I type.

It's at least 15 hours of solid physical-mental work. But to create something for people who appreciate it is very meaningful and that's, the biggest motivator for me. To keep creating photo diary for people.

&.&.b.t.w. - And for one day, I am Milan Singh!

A photo posted by Milan Teh (@milanteh) on Jun 25, 2016 at 8:25pm PDT

Togetherness

Milan Teh — Mon, 30 May 2016 14:43:53 +0000

I've been thinking a lot lately, particularly about what a Photo Diary would mean. What if, we put more focus on what mattered more to the heart rather than the location, the appearance or which clothes to wear?

And what if, we photograph what you really did in daily life at the usual space while having me to observe & document discreetly from the side? Would we get more photographs that are much more authentic and precious for the long term's sake?

In hindsight, every photo we took be it with phone or a proper camera doesn't always translate to significant memories immediately. Though we don't feel it, this act of documenting is important. When you let the photos settled enough for years and once you looked back at them a decade later...... baam! You get all the feels.

So whether the feeling is positive or otherwise would depend on what 'seed' you have planted in the first place.

Louise & Jonathan

Milan Teh — Wed, 25 May 2016 17:18:50 +0000

Louise is a huge fan of horses and it's evident with the huge horse photo in her room. If you noticed the little light balls on top of the bed, it's some DIY thingy done by Jonathan. The little things a guy do for her girl is telling, about how caring the person he is.

It has been two years since shooting the wedding of Louise & Jonathan's wedding in Penang at the Rasa Sayang Resort. Selecting the pictures to blog refreshes my little faded memories of the day. I enjoy digging old photos that I've missed sharing. It feels happy recalling the moments every time looking back at them like I've found a nugget of memory while flashing through each shot.

Prior to the wedding day, I have totally no idea that Jonathan and his 3 brothers are the group who made some viral music videos back then that were widely shared in Facebook, they are the 4JC Brothers. They do the lighting, shooting, recording, editing, performing and singing all by themselves and at home! I'm envious of their caliber, they produce really great stuff.

As age gone up, I'm beginning to meet couples who are closer to my age now. How times have changed, that being friend to couples is much easier now than when I just started. Those time, people are seeing me like a little boy as I am easily 8-10 years younger than them. I hope the interaction with couples like Lou & Jon as friend could last forever. Cause it must be a pain, imagining down the road when finally one day I'm shooting a past client child's wedding and they ask "uncle, where should we stand har?".

&.b.t.w. - Although Louise is usually quiet, I think her eyes could kill someone with a zap.

&.&.b.t.w. - Fun fact. If I remember correctly, all the 4 brothers have the same initial which is J cause the parents agreed that if they have a boy, he'll follows mother's name initial while vice versa if the parents get a girl. So that's how 4J-Chong-Brothers came about.

How to Adjust Sliders in Lightroom with Keyboard

Milan Teh — Thu, 05 May 2016 17:17:12 +0000

UPDATE: As of June 2020, this wouldn’t work well with Lightroom Classic 9.3. If I change sliders through this software after Radial Filter / Graduated Filter is applied, the latter will be reset which renders this software no longer a good solution.

If you have been trying to find a way to adjusting the sliders in Lightroom(till version 6, not sure if latest version like CC works) using the keyboard but failed, I have a great news for you that will cost you nothing if you already have a computer and a functional keyboard.

I, for one was looking for alternative way to adjust the sliders in Lightroom instead of using the mouse or the Wacom pen. There are paid options out there all these while, to name a few: Motibodo, Pusher Labs, Palette Gear.

These offering while appealing to some, it's not for me cause they require the purchase of external hardware or a keyboard skin to begin using. It's not really feasible as I prefer not to burden myself with the extra inventories seeing I travel a lot. I just want it to work with my existing setup whether I'm using a laptop or a desktop.

I thought I was dreaming for something impossible but I'm definitely wrong. There's VSCO Keys since October 2012. I don't know how I've missed it. Maybe I didn't thought I needed such a thing back then and never bothered.

Processing thousands of photographs monthly, I come to feel that it's physically uncomfortable to adjust sliders in lightroom with a mouse. It's worse with a Wacom pen especially fine adjustments. You might as well type in the values you want but it will take additional time and a lot of unnecessary hand movements per picture.

Early this year, I've discovered VSCO Keys by happy accident. It uses only your existing keyboard and even better, it used to be selling at USD79 but at the point I'm writing, it's free for all. They've actually stopped supporting the product since late 2015, making it open source. Here's the official link to get the software be it you're on Windows or Mac.

Maybe due to the fact that VSCO no longer supports this software and there's a lack of man power behind the open source community, the installation was not exactly an intuitive process for me. Let me guide you a bit for what worked for me using Windows 8 64bit computer + Lightroom 6.

Close Lightroom if it's opened while installing. Then remember where you have the software installed. After installation is done, open the destination folder, you should be seeing the right hand side of what's shown on the image above. Take note of the folder named VSCOKeys.lrplugin. It should actually be placed elsewhere or it won't work.

Next, open Lightroom, go to File -> Plug-in Manager. You should click on VSCO Keys, then 'Show in Explorer' like the image above. Make sure you move the folder I've mentioned from the previous paragraph in there.

When Lightroom is running, you'll see the icon below. Press the 'Esc' key once on the keyboard and you will have toggled the software on or off. (Below: the VSCO Keys icon at the notification area.)

It took me two weeks plus to get comfortable with the learning curve but it's totally worth going through. Let me share some brief encounter of mine using the current version of VSCO Keys.

For example, I can now decrease / increase the exposure using the 'D' and 'F' keys respectively in the magnitude of +0.30. (It worked even if I'm at the Library module!) If I do it together with 'Alt', I get +0.10. With 'Shift', it's +0.60.

In order not to confuse you further, it's better you find out more through it's layout guide by clicking on the button I've circled in red below(not 100% accurate). You have a choice of using the Standard mapping or Simple mapping. I personally find the Standard mode being more useful (I found a helpful key map through Google) as Simple mode is much limited.

Be wary to try it out as the default layout guide shown is not 100% accurate. With the Standard mode, you could adjust all the sliders from Temperature till Saturation using only your own keyboard. That, to me is very useful!

If you are wondering, yes, after VSCO Keys is turned on, D is no longer going to Develop module, G is no longer going to the Library module. But you can easily toggle the keyboard shortcut on and off using the 'Esc' key. Fortunately to me, important shortcuts like Undo 'Ctrl + Z' and Deselect 'Ctrl + D' is not affected even if VSCO Keys is on.

(Update 11 June 2016):
By accident(I didn't quite read any manuals), I found out that without needing to toggle VSCO Keys off, I can still go to Develop or Library module! I simply press on the Windows button first + G, then I'll be going to Library module and Windows button + D would go to Develop module.

(Update 24 August 2016):
Found out that '[' or ']' can let you quickly adjust vignetting, very handy!

When this software was a paid version, users could map their own desired action towards specific keyboard keys. But not the current open source version unless you have advanced computer knowledge to tweak it to your liking. Sorry Mac users, I think your installation process might be a little different but I'm not helpful in your ecosystem. You'd learn more through the official link. I hope all of you find VSCO Keys useful.

&.b.t.w. - Write to me if you are interested to read anything in specific for Sharing. I'll be happy to get requests that are interesting and of my knowledge.

Sheng Young & Mei Ping

Milan Teh — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 23:11:33 +0000

This pair is probably the most fearless couple that I have encountered coming from Singapore. They fly to Penang with not only all their formal attires, also luggagesss of props to be used together with the series. The result? A colorful series that is unique to them.

Both my wedding and this couple's fall on the same year where mine was November 2015 and it's December 2015 for them. They took this prewedding photography series with me in Penang 15 months prior to their wedding whereas I only had mine taken 3 months before the wedding! Sheng Young & Mei Ping's take on their wedding planning is admirable irregardless that they are few years younger than me.

In the aim of creating as much varieties in the series, we have both indoor and outdoor locations covered. Indoor location includes a cafe and E&O Hotel while outdoor photography session were done at Penang Botanic Gardens, among the streets of Georgetown, a random grassy land, Church of The Holy Name of Jesus in Balik Pulau and the last picture you'll see at a special location I'll reveal at the end of this post.

&.b.t.w. - You might have guessed it right, the location of this last shot we went is a floor! And it's just outside where I stay cause I fear that doing elsewhere would get us into trouble with the drawing. Sheng Young & Mei Ping wanted to try create a shot like this with drawing and both of them inside, so they drew two drawings on the floor that day. It's another challenge to look natural laying on the floor.

&.&.b.t.w. - The second drawing

A photo posted by @milanteh on Dec 24, 2015 at 3:15am PST

&.&.&.b.t.w. - Behind the scene of their hardwork

A photo posted by @milanteh on Jan 13, 2016 at 6:32pm PST

&.&.&.&.b.t.w. - Our new blog needs some love. If you like what you see or read, give it some love. You'll see a small love/like icon at the bottom of each post. :D

Milan Teh Studio

Milan Teh — Mon, 28 Mar 2016 14:29:07 +0000

Introducing the new look of Milan Teh Studio. Or let me introduce you to Milan Teh Studio once again. We create heartfelt aesthetics for wedding & portrait photography across Malaysia.

Throughout the years, the logo we used had been an indirect depiction of my direction for the brand. I still remember first few years were a mess of regular changes of logos and watermarks - totally clueless of what I want, who we are, hopping on multiple fads & bandwagons around me.

Then, it gradually progressed to having the knowledge to running the business properly and till recent years, I feel the urge to be really focused on what I do best - creating good looking images that resonates with the heart.

Thus, the born of this new logo to depict more concisely on my vision for the brand since recent years.

I've been a little quiet lately mainly organizing work and life, looking at what's next for myself being a married man. Also spent weeks migrating website to a new engine under the hood gradually, making sure a smooth transition that wouldn't affect my web appearance in search too much.

We now have dedicated portfolio pages(found in menu) for people who don't have time to go through the blogs. Boudoir Diary now has a dedicated blog and portfolio page by itself as previously it's being hide too deep for anyone to notice it's existence.

So now that the migration has been successful...time to add more content to the site!

&.b.t.w. - It's so hot lately. A car parked under direct sunlight could bake a cake!

&.&.b.t.w. - Fun fact. My home/room recently just installed air conditioning, the regular temperature when I am working varies around 32-34'C++. Now that I'm spoiled with the lower temperature work space comfort, I hope I don't get addicted. How many of you nowadays still have only fan at home?

Garden Wedding at Cameron Highlands #JomQahwin

Milan Teh — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 18:30:53 +0000

This is our very first wedding photographed in 2016. The morning is a Chinese customary ceremony at Puchong, followed by a garden wedding at Cameron Highlands. A more than 3 hours drive of distance and all happened in the very same day.

The idea is pretty crazy. Cause typically, time is merely enough for an Asian customary wedding but it was a beautiful success with great support from families and friends that made it happen. There are challenges like moving 100 people to a secluded private villa on a hill and moving all the items to be used for the wedding etc. I love the outcome, a garden wedding at Cameron Highlands that is beautiful implicitly and explicitly.

Guys in the picture below are from the Loh family.(if you still remember Rap Daddy's first and second episodes) This is their 'graduation picture' - all the guys in the family are married now with the last and youngest from the family tying the knot. What's really special is that, I was there photographing all three weddings of the family. I have never met the same pair of parents so many times before throughout my wedding photography career. I'm like the Loh family photographer, it did felt purposeful and fulfilling.

It's always a great privilege for such a trust and everyone has been so kind to us like friends. Despite wedding being a happy occasion, I can't help being moved by the speeches especially learning from the parents' perspective - that the home will now be even more quiet with the last and youngest son leaving to his path forming his own family in a new house.

Here I present to you what happened throughout the day of Jon & QPei's wedding in summary.

&.b.t.w. - My room is about 32-33'C at night recently. It's very hot and I am missing the cold at Cameron Highlands!

A photo posted by @milanteh on Jan 30, 2016 at 9:17am PST

"Am totally missing this temperature. My room is now double of it...... Panas!"

&.&.b.t.w. - 2016 will be the first year I'll be giving out angpow instead of receiving, sigh... What's Chinese New Year without receiving angpow?? haha..

&.&.&.b.t.w. - So this Loh family termed the sons' wedding to be a "Tri-Loh-Jee" (Jee being part of the name of Mrs. Loh). Now that I've posted the "third-episode" first, it somewhat felt like StarWars' sequencing in some way! Looking forward to share photo series from the 1st then 2nd and 3rd "Tri-Loh-Jee" this year. Check out Rap Daddy & Mummy's third episode too, a personalized video made for the son's wedding.