Ramblings of the Mildly Insane

Another birthday come and gone. And it was…um…there are no words, actually. I received a few shocks that, frankly, I could have lived without.

But at least I got my pen.

I’m quite excited about it, and I think I have an unhealthy obsession with taking the pen out of its holder just so I can watch it slowly slide back down into it–it really is that cool—and I’m grateful to the fine folks at CW&T for making it all possible.

When my life calms to relative normal and after some renovations of my stationery addiction site, I’ll post a proper and full review of the pen.

My nieceling received a new Disney Princess wallet as a gift. After she finished asking people for money to put in it, she decided she also needed a purse in which to put the wallet. And it couldn’t be any old purse, it had to be a Disney Princess purse.

That’s where I came in…

After some thought, I wanted something quick and easy and uncomplicated. (My niece, after all, is only five.) So I used a modified version of the flouncy bag pattern from One Yard Wonders by Rebecca Yaker and Patricia Hoskins.

I actually made a muslin to test out my modifications and thank goodness I did. I’d based my modified pattern on the numbers given in the book, and those numbers were…um…rather off. Plus, the attaching of the exterior to the lining was just a pain in the backside.

But after some testing and tweaking, I finally finished a child-size version of the flouncy bag.

For the curious, here are the modifications I made (aside from shrinking it overall by roughly 30%):

• Reduced the seam allowance from 1/2” to 1/4”;
• I omitted the ribbon;
• I used lace trim instead of piping;
• And probably the biggest modification, I changed how the exterior and lining was attached. Rather than lining them up wrong sides together, folding in the seam, and topstitching to close, I left a small opening in the lining, placed the exterior in the lining—right sides together—sewed it  with a 1/4” allowance and pulled the bag right side out through the small opening I left in the lining. I could have topstitched around the edge to finish, but meh.

It’s certainly not perfect, but my niece liked it so much, she made her mom buy her some makeup to put in it (alongside her wallet). That, in my book, makes it a winner.

In fact, I kinda like it, too. I think I’ll make myself a grown-up version.

Since this blog hasn’t seen any love in a while and I’ve been spending a bunch of time crafting—I’m putting a new sewing machine through its paces (or that’s the excuse since I’m really just procrastinating…there’s a book I need to finish editing)—I figure this might be a good time to show the world what I’ve been up to.

I found the tutorial for the puffy pouch at Pink Penguin, but as you can probably tell from my version…I’ve made some slight modifications.

I wanted a wristlet, so I added the applicable loop. And I decided that I didn’t want to use Velcro or hunt down a flex frame, but had plenty of zippers, so I figured I’d just use that. Also, because I was using a zipper, I decided I had to make it bigger.

But sometimes my brain can’t keep up with me and I neglected to add the proper seam allowance, although I thought I did, so I ended up with a stubbier zipper area than I wanted. Luckily the 7” zipper fit the 6.5” opening. It just looks a little…off. Ah well, it still works.

The pouch is upcycled from an old pair of jean shorts and a Hannah Montana sheet. I’m planning to make another one, with a few more modifications, since I still have some material left over. For now, I just need to figure out what I’m going to do with this one. Hmm.

I finished all the Valentine’s day cards and got them mailed out in the nick of time. But I realize there are many people whose addresses I don’t know, so I decided to make a special card for them, too.

Unfortunately, all the nifty shiny doesn’t quite show up in the picture, but pretend it’s there.

I’ll also forgo the annual love poem (mostly because I’m too lazy to get up and select one), but I’ll urge you to think love-ful thoughts all day.

Aw hell, I can’t break tradition…

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you.

(I knew that one by heart.)

While I was spring cleaning (I figured I’d get a jump on it…), I found a Valentine’s Day card I’d made for my sister. It made me smile and it made her laugh, especially considering she hadn’t lived at the address on the envelope for several years.

As Valentine’s Day looms ever closer I remembered that card and wondered, “Why did I stop making those again?” In fact, I had always made small cards and homemade gifts for my family and friends for the major holidays…and it always made me feel good (along with, I hope, the people who received them).

So today I cleared a few hours from my schedule to start that tradition back up again. I’ve created my mailing list, gathered together my sketchbook and art supplies, and I’m hunkering down to make some magic.

This year, though, I’m going for something a bit different. Instead of signing every card, I’m thinking of doing general love cards which can then be passed on to others. I figure that way the love can keep on spreading.

Now if I can just nail down a basic design…hmmm.

(The picture above is the card I designed for one of my sisters. After finishing though, I might just keep it for myself.)

One day, I woke up and discovered that I was an Amazon Top Reviewer. This isn’t that big of a deal, not to me anyway, but it seems to be for prospective authors looking to get some respectable reviews (I surmise from the increased number of review requests I receive). Since I enjoy reading, I’m inclined to oblige…if certain basic conditions are met first.

This morning, I received a review request which made me think, I should write a blog entry to help other prospective (especially indie) authors not make the same mistakes.

(Email is as-is; edits noted within brackets.)

From: Amazon Author <[REMOVED]@gmail.com>
To: <undisclosed-recipients>
Bcc: reviews@mildinsanity.com
Date: Sun, Dec 11, 2011 at 4:53 AM
Subject: Can you please Review my new Romance Novel

Hi,

I got your Email address from the list of Amazon Top Reviewers.

I hope you will accept my new release on Amazon titled as
“[REMOVED]” which comes under Fiction » Romance » General.

If you think you might be interested in checking out my e-book
and posting an honest review of it on Amazon.

I’ll gladly send you link to complimentary copy of my e-book.

Best Regards,

At first glance, you might wonder: What’s wrong with that? He seems earnest and polite.

But, if you look closely, you’ll notice the flaws:

• The author used a dummy email account and didn’t sign his name;
• The author  sent a mass mailing likely to all the email addresses he scraped from the Amazon website (the big tip-off was the “undisclosed recipients” with my email as a Bcc)–this is basically SPAM;
• The author didn’t take the time to browse through even a few of my book reviews because he would have learned I rarely review general romance;
• The author can barely craft a proper sentence.

Ultimately, by sending this email, he’s wasted his time because 99% of the reviewers won’t even respond, and the ones who do will probably decline. How do I know this? Reviewers chat, and a few pet peeves often come up.

If you’re an author looking to get your book reviewed by any reviewer, here are a few things that might endear her to your cause:

• Make sure your book jives with her interests: Browse through her review history to make sure she even reads and reviews in your genre. If not, move on to the next reviewer. (Proselytizing rarely works.)
• If she has a review policy, read it and abide by it: Some reviewers will tell you in which format they prefer their books, or whether they’ll accept review requests at all. If you can’t (or won’t) meet the posted requirements, move on to the next reviewer.
• Include a brief synopsis of the story: Reviewers are people, too. They have lives filled with obligations likely to include a huge stack of other books to read. They don’t have time to read several pages of story overview. As a rule of thumb, the reviewer should have a complete idea of your book in 500 words or less.
• Don’t bash your book in an effort to appear self-deprecating: If you don’t think your book is worth the read, how can you expect a reviewer to? Make sure your book is as polished as it can be before releasing it into the wild.
• Have a sample chapter or two ready: Assuming your overview hooked the reviewer, rather than have her track down a sample of your book, include a link to it somewhere in your email. Make sure it’s an ample sample (1-2 full chapters) and that it’s not in some weird proprietary format (eh hem, .mobi or .lit, etc.)–PDF or HTML are generally good options.
• Exclude the author bio unless it’s relevant or useful: I don’t care how old an author is or where she’s from unless it’s relevant or can open a dialogue (i.e. a CIA operative that went rogue to pen the world’s best novel; or we attended school together; &c.), otherwise, it’s just more cruft to read in an otherwise busy life.
• Go the extra mile: Anyone who reads my Amazon profile can learn my first name, and that I’m not a “Mr.” , in about 10 seconds if they truly cared to find out. I’m more receptive to the authors who go that extra mile and address me by name, or at least, a proper salutation. Maybe include a personal detail or compliment (I enjoyed your review of XYZ because of ABC). It’s small, but can get your foot in the door.
• And, of course, proofread your email: This one should be rather obvious.

I’m not saying that if you do everything on this list that every reviewer you contact will read and review your work, but it might just improve your chances overall.

I updated the firmware in my WD TV Live Hub about a week ago and I’m surprised I managed to go this long without rolling it back seeing as how the upgrade caused my left and down arrow keys to work only when they chose to (or not at all in the case of the down arrow), plus some other bugs.

My first instinct was to read up at the support forums and check the firmware release notes. Not very helpful. So I called their Tech Support line. Even less helpful. My only other recourse was to downgrade the firmware myself.

From the page which outlines their downgrade instructions, you click on the link to download Firmware v. 2.03.24 and you find a Page Not Found error. Oh noze. But, thanks to the sleuthing of a helpful poster in the support forums, we get the real v. 2.03.24 firmware link (~81MB).

There’s just one teeny, tiny problem: The downgrade will not work with those files as-is.

Here’s the solution: You have to edit the version number and convince the WD TV Live Hub that you’re trying to upgrade the firmware when you’re really downgrading.

To do that, unzip all three files into the root directory of your USB drive (as the instructions say) and then, using a plain text ASCII editor (like Notepad), open up the wdtvlivehub.ver file.

You should see:

VERSION='2.03.24'
LOCATION='wdtvlivehub.bin'
PKG_LOCATION='wdtvlivehub.pkg'

Change VERSION=’2.03.24’ to a higher number, like VERSION=’6.0.0’, and save it. Plug the USB drive into the WD TV Live Hub box and wait, do nothing, don’t press any buttons, just wait.

After a few seconds the message asking you to sink the files should disappear and from there, just follow the instructions starting at Step 6.

It’s a pain in the butt, and I lost a bunch of services I didn’t even use anyway, but at least my arrow keys are all finally working again.

Or, rather, drawing on banana paper. And I lurve it.

It was sitting on my pile of notebooks and journals and I thought, “Self, drawing on trees is so passé.” So, I took out my ink and watercolors and flipped open the small blank journal. (My first illustration turned out to be an homage to my high school painting “Trail of Forgotten Souls”.)

When it came time to paint I was rather surprised at how well it handled the water. Sure it warped the pages underneath it (no big deal for me), but it didn’t turn into mush like some notebooks would. I was even able to re-wet a few sections.

The only problems I’ve run into were some of the more solid flecks lifting up or chipping away from the paper while writing. Also, once the book has been held open for any length of time, it tends to stay open (hence the binder clip in the first picture). Neither of these things I mind very much.

Even though the paper is a pale brown color, it’s best used with dark or bright ink colors. That means pastel colored inks are a no-go, 2H lead was nearly invisible, and even HB was difficult to read. And for all its strength and durability, the paper is thin enough for you to see what’s on the other side, but the ink doesn’t actually bleed through.

(Click on the image for a full size view with more detail.)

Right now, I’m content using the small blank journal as an art journal. It started with a single sentence with an accompanying inspired image and I’ve just continued with that theme. I flip to a random blank page, draw a preliminary sketch, and then paint. I may even add some collage in the future. (I’ve always wanted to get into collage, but I just never had a true knack for it.)

Oh, and the paper is acid free. (At least, that’s the claim anyway. I haven’t tested it. Maybe I should.) And these journals can be purchased at Target.

In 2008 I discovered a cool website called JetPens which specialized in Japanese pens and stationary products. It was like in the movies when the clouds would part to reveal rays of light shining down on me and heavenly voices would chant, “Hallelujah, hallelujah, halle-lu-jah!”.

JetPens managed to work its way into my life and I became almost evangelical about them. To the point where I joined and participated in their Facebook page and trolled their Flickr group and they even featured me in one of their JetPics columns. What was even more impressive was that I never needed to contact customer service with any problems.

Until recently.

It wasn’t a big problem, though. My order arrived, one of pens was used and didn’t write properly. I figured maybe someone returned a defective pen and it got mixed back into the lot. So, I sent an email asking how I could send it back and receive a replacement. Fairly straightforward.

What I received, instead of an answer to my question, was:

“I can assure you that we do not sell any products that have been used.”

Hmm. Really?

To that I say, one of these pens is not like the others…

It might have been a manufacturing error, but this wasn’t the first time I’d received a pen showing signs of use. (In fact, that other pen looked more thoroughly used than this one and it was a different manufacturer.) I just never said anything before because it was an inexpensive pen and it worked.

The response email then told me to hold the tip in front of a blow dryer for a few seconds, scribbling intermittently, to see if I could get the ink flowing. That is a great tip and I’ll certainly use it in the future.

But, hello, they sent me a pen that seemed used and didn’t even work properly ; all I wanted to do was exchange it. I didn’t want to be told that I was mistaken about it being used and that I should fiddle around with hair care products first.

So, I politely responded explaining why my very first customer service experience with JetPens left me feeling cold. What I received was:

“I should have been more clear in stating that at times, pen ink levels can be a little off…”

I’m (usually) not a complete tool. I know ink levels vary from pen to pen, which is why I was sure to say in my first email that close to 1/4 of the ink was missing. That does not qualify as a “little off”. So, no, there was no way to be more clear on that.

“Sometimes the little wax or plastic protective balls can come off pens while they are in the warehouse (especially retractable pens).” (For context, this is referencing my previous used pen experience which I detailed in my response email.)

I said the protective ball was missing and the ink level was also obviously depleted. In fact, more than 1/4 of the ink was missing from the pen in that case. Again, not just a “little off”.

“As a policy we do not accept any used items for return, but when that special case arises and we receive used items back, we do not restock them.”

It may be policy, but it doesn’t explain how on two separate occasions I received pens which showed signs of being used. Or, why, again I feel as though I’m being told that I’m hallucinating.

They’re sending me a new pen though. I can “feel free to keep or discard the faulty pen”, but what I feel is rather unsatisfied by the experience.

What should have happened—what I expected to have happen—was the receipt of the obligatory apology for the inconvenience (which is so common in retail today), followed by the prompt shipment of a replacement and instructions for sending back the defective product. Easy peezy lemon squeezy. The world keeps turning and the company still has a loyal happy evangelical customer who will sing praises of her wonderful experiences with them.

Instead, I got sKo0led on how wrong I am for thinking a pen that was missing considerable quantities of ink was used and that I should have taken a blow dryer to it before complaining. Thank you for that JetPens customer service. It was also a nice touch that all the email salutations began with the name assigned by my email provider rather than the actual name I signed my emails with.

This was very much like meeting my hero in real life and realizing he’s not as amazing as I made him out to be in my head. I still like him and think he’s pretty cool, just slightly less so. *sigh*

UPDATE 02/25/11: My woebegone pen arrived today. I’m glad to report that there’s no missing ink and it works (no blow dryer necessary). Yay.

I’ve been getting more into history lately and after finishing up an interesting conversation with my father, I’ve come to a conclusion about it…

History will always be skewed by the perspective from which it’s looked upon.

Common sense, really.