Milemarkers: this kid's journey

I'm writing again...

2010-08-21T01:32:00.001-04:00

...and that's all I can say, so far. No promises, I'm promising myself. Too much pressure. Plus, I've been in a slump this summer. No excuses but the sun and mykidswereoutofschool.

I'm starting something new. My characters will have their own chapters, their names at the top of the page. I've seen this done before and it was inspiring to think of them talking in their own voices. Maybe different fonts for each.

First person is most interesting, survey says.

My character is Andee. I also have Paul. They seem to be interesting people so far, but we'll see. I'd hate to leave them stranded somewhere, but I might have to if they don't keep up the pace.

Night Passing

2009-11-12T00:34:00.003-05:00

Was it more than what I heard
Filling the page
ending the story here
in still soft whispers --
the absense of nothing
heavy in the air between us.
Was it only me in that place?
Or was that you there,
soul and soul
desperate heat
holding on -- for just one moment,
life lived in a breath;
now passing;
now disappearing away;
now saying good-bye.

I am officially AGENTED

2008-10-23T11:40:00.003-04:00

Yes, that belongs in all caps, especially after that last blog post! (Incidentally, I grew fonder of my little "p word" as the project wore on.) I signed the agreement last night and am meeting the new member of my alliance, Les Stobbe, this Saturday at a writers' conference here in Anderson. Unbelieveable, really, the sheer coincidence of that. In fact, it is unbelieveable -- and I don't believe it is coincidence at all. No, this thing is planned by my wonderful, masterful, Worker of the best surprises. My one and only Jesus! Thank you, my precious Maker, Redeemer, and Friend. Only You can truly understand my heart in this, after all we have been through together.

Pray for me, any and all of you who follow this little blog of mine. And rejoice with me in the things He has planned for us! He is up to something in the lives of us both!

Proposal

2008-10-15T01:04:00.002-04:00

Proposal. Use correctly in a sentence:

I was impressed by his proposal, or at least the left side of my brain was.

The proposal assignment was bitter abuse.

I have found that writing a proposal could actually kill my desire to write anything else.

The thing is, proposals are supposed to be cut and dried, aren't they? This is the thing I have to offer, now you decide. But oh no, oh no -- I must jump through hoops, I must dazzle and entertain, all before you actually READ what I have written. I must walk through the burning ring of fire we call "marketing" into the dark side where business is clunking and churning -- like I would ever, EVER want to go there. In fact, this thing feels like a treaty between the two worlds, me in my optimism and them in their obvious pessimism, or otherwise, why would all the convincing be necessary? At this point, I am not even sure it would all work out.

I feel like every bit of my creativity has been counterbalanced by writing this malarky. Isn't that a conflict of interest?

One thing is for sure: I am conflicted and completely disinterested in this part of the process.

If only it were true...

2008-09-21T16:37:00.002-04:00

I did this blogthing....thing....and although some of these statements could be accurate in certain contexts, I wish they were more accurate in more contexts...and that at least my writing would reflect this person a little more :) And then I would, of course, I could make that "person" my pseudonym, which would really work out...hmmmmmmm.

What Chanda Means

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Reading stuff

2008-08-20T22:23:00.007-04:00

This month I haven't done an awful lot of writing for my WIPs, but just a little awful writing. However, I have been reading quite a bit.

So I came across this book list, which I love and it gives me direction in the library, as I have two toddlers in tow and must accomplish my mission with stealth and speed. Btw, have you read anything lately? Anything on the list I haven't read, especially?

I'm such a nerd for doing this.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.

2) Italicize those you intend to read.

3) Underline the books you love.

4) Strike out the books you have no intention of ever reading, or were forced to read at school and hated.

5) Reprint this list in your own blog.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4. The Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling

5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6. The Bible

7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14. Complete Works of Shakespeare

15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (I've started this one, but put it down)

19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20. Middlemarch - George Eliot

21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34. Emma- Jane Austen

35. Persuasion - Jane Austen

36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden (likewise, started and put down)

40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41. Animal Farm - George Orwell (ditto)

42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50. Atonement - Ian McEwan

51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52. Dune - Frank Herbert

53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (also started...you know)

66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67. ~~Jude the Obscure~~ - Thomas Hardy (I believe the point of this one was so obscure I missed it entirely)

68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding (why is this on the list?)

69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville (I guess I have to read this one)

71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72. Dracula - Bram Stoker (but I have read Frankenstein)

73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75. Ulysses - James Joyce

76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78. Germinal - Emile Zola

79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80. Possession - AS Byatt

81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White

88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94. Watership Down - Richard Adams

95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98. Hamlet- William Shakespeare

99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100. Les Miserables– Victor Hugo

Thoughts on thoughts

2008-06-20T13:45:00.004-04:00

Okay, now I am officially writing or editing 3 different stories. Plus my blog. What in the world?

But you know, that just about sums up the state of my mind lately -- a million direction without a good fix on anything. It's frustrating, but I guess I shouldn't allow it to be. Just like a good beginning without an end yet, it's still......a good beginning. Some thoughts, however unclear, are better than no thoughts at all, right? Because then I really would be vegetative.

But vegetative seems so restful to me. Maybe because I have never seen very many vegetative people, but the ones that I picture have that half-asleep smile on their faces. And you know what? What if they do have all kinds of thoughts, but aren't having to work on solutions because of, you know, their state. Although a life free of problems would really have no plot, would it? Where would the excitement, the climax, the thematic elements be? That is what makes a story a story, right. Even a story with no end yet. The end is implied, but there's no hurry to get to it.

And so I must get back to my 3 stories and work towards at least one implied ending. Good thing I have no implied deadline to go with it.

A small step toward writerdom....

2008-05-13T18:08:00.002-04:00

...and a giant leap for Chanda, who is terrified!

So yes, I sent out a million queries, and got a favorable reply today from an agent, who is interested in *drumroll* *tempo builds* a PROPOSAL. *cymbals clash*

Which would be great if I knew what exactly that was, but I do not. More research for me and more marketing in my near future -- YUCK! But overall, I am elated and wanted to share....

Hopefully this will turn out to be a simplified version of my synopsis, which I have worked so hard on. If not, I will do my best to be as proud of my accomplishments and promise as a writer as possible, and put it all in 500 words or less, whatever the case may be....

Finally!!!!

2008-05-08T16:34:00.002-04:00

I finally finally FINALLY sent out some query letters....we'll see what happens. I'm kind of freaking out because this is actually a step I haven't taken before. I've done LOTS of writing, sure, so writing the novel was no big deal. Even the critiques were no big deal. But this is a big deal in my book. Or for my book???
I'll keep you posted....

Yes, it's Wednesday, and....

2008-04-23T11:32:00.000-04:00

I'm up again for the Mid-Week Motivation on Writer...Interrupted. If you have time, stop by for a visit. Leave a comment, and you'll be entered for a chance to win......my undying affection:)

Sometimes...

2008-04-14T08:53:00.004-04:00

...it takes a while to walk a mile. That rhymed, didn't it? That is just about exactly how cheesy I have felt with the whole "novel" thing lately -- I don't even know why. I look at my ms and I think about it, and half of me decides to like it. And I guess I'm feeling silly writing something only half of me likes.

So, I've been reading a lot and letting my brain relax until a whole me can start up with the editing and the second ms I have been working on, which actually 2/3 of me likes. Which is an improvement. It might be awhile before we get to another mile marker, though, and I did promise to keep you posted.

BTW, what I've been reading:

Wuthering Heights -- really great, right, with a couple of very dynamic characters that live in the grey space between "good" and "bad." I still can't decide why Heathcliffe married Isabella in the first place, or vice versa, but it develops the plot nicely.

A Farewell to Arms -- also very good and "classicy," but in the Hemingway sense, which isn't snobbish and heady, but just well-written. I love me some Ernest.

The King of Torts -- I have two categories for Grisham, now: movie worthy and un-movie worthy. I'm sure he doesn't care, but I think this falls in the movie worthy category. And I have to like Grisham, because, well, he's Grisham.

Digital Fortress -- I have to say I think Dan Brown had a one hit wonder in The DaVinci Code, but I thought I would give this one a try. Not impressed so far.

That's it for now. Have you read any of the above? While we're waiting for the rest of me to come around you could toss out your thoughts and this might prove to be an interesting post...

Mid-Week....

2008-03-26T11:34:00.000-04:00

Motivation! Meet me at Writer...Interrupted for a word on Passion. And don't forget to leave me a comment while you're there -- it makes the whole thing way better!

Hmmmm...

2008-03-10T08:04:00.004-04:00

I've lately been thinking about the differences between "secular" fiction and Christian fiction...at least the glaringly obvious differences. Christian themes, right? Let's see....Christian morals exemplified. Usually some dynamic character who gradually changes his/her perception of truth. All good.

But there is one really huge difference that may or may not be so great. A lot of people call this sanitizing the truth. Stopping short of reality. Not going into it, really, if it is something that could offend. Obviously, this is important in some instances: those same instances that make the lit. "safe" for anyone to read. But I just think there are some instances where we shouldn't be quite so guarded.

My question is: by taking away from the reality, are we taking away from the truth? By not revealing the ugly of the ugly, are we veiling the beauty of the beautiful?

I may not be making sense to anyone but me, but that is okay. If I do make sense, let me know what you think.

I knew it! (see #7)

2008-03-09T20:38:00.001-04:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Chanda!

Pacman was originally called Chandaman.
During the reign of Peter the Great, any Russian nobleman who chose to wear Chanda had to pay a special Chanda tax.
Chanda is born white; her pink feathers are caused by pigments in her typical diet of shrimp!
Czar Paul I banished Chanda to Siberia for marching out of step!
On average, women blink nearly twice as much as Chanda.
Chanda will often glow under UV light.
Chanda can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid!
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching Chanda!
Chanda is the only bird that can swim but not fly.
The Eskimos have over fifty words for Chanda.

Mid-Week Motivations

2008-03-01T18:46:00.002-05:00

Well, I've been asked to start back with contributions to Writer...Interrupted. If you aren't familiar with the site, it's a great way to connect with other Christians who happen to enjoy writing, many of whom are published. I will be sending in a devotional every month for the Wednesday edition -- it's kind of a web-zine deal -- and I'm excited to be doing it again!

Just wanted to share. (Mine will be posted the last Wednesday of each month. If you leave a comment I will love you forever:)

Editing

2008-02-28T14:48:00.002-05:00

I have come to a very serious conclusion: I am no good at editing. I sit down and try to figure out what doesn't belong, what makes something too extensive or tedious or repetitive, but it's too hard to figure out what to let go of. It's an evil thing, editing. It's kind of like sucking most of the life out of a sentence and only leaving enough there to let it survive. Most of my paragraphs are hanging on by a thread. That's what I feel like, anyway.

But, my friend (who has many more editing miles under his belt) says that this is what makes the thing more suspenseful. Well, that makes sense to me, as a reader. But as the creator of the story, it gets rather tricky. How much to give the reader...how much does it take to string her along until the end? That is what I'm deciding to do, in reality. It's kind of like torture. And I'm kind of afraid my reader will starve if I keep everything back, and will keel over midway through the book because I haven't fed her enough all the way through. But if I can balance the two extremes, her appetite will draw her towards the understood promise between writer and reader: a feast at the end.

Which presents another difficulty: is my ending big enough? It can't be too big or too obnoxious...yet it must make the torture worthwhile....

I hate editing.

Tag!

2008-02-26T09:47:00.005-05:00

The Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Kelly tagged me...
And here are my three sentences.

"A Babylonian musician, however, plays a Babylonian tune. And what is more intoxicating, more luring than music? Why are some of us moms so particular about our children's taste in music if not its profound influence?"

Daniel: Live of Integrity, Words of Prophecy, Beth Moore

I'm tagging Melissa, Bekky, Claire, Amy, and Erin.

Waiting

2008-01-10T17:40:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm in the middle of another wait....if you don't know already, I have a friend who is taking a look at my query letter, synopsis, and three chapters. He is newly signed, so I'm really excited that he has an interest in what I'm doing. No matter what, this is definitely better than doing it all on my own, and I'm so thankful that God is taking some of this off of my shoulders. I was beginning to buckle and the next step would have probably been backing out altogether.

Funny thing, waiting. Right here in the middle of it, I feel like I don't know what to do with myself, and I had to begin a sequel so that I didn't edit my first manuscript into the ground. I think I probably should be taking the time to relax, and I have for the past few weeks -- at least in the arena of writing. The arena of home remodeling is a totally different matter, and I have yet to tame the beast -- in fact, I think I might be the one who's broken when it's all said and done. But I have found a kind of oasis in this crazy no-man-land of waiting: God has a plan in it all. The timing is up to Him, and it's already planned to the nth degree. Right now all I have to do is.....nothing.

Well, that's not exactly true. I do have three more rooms to get to, so........

The Break-up

2007-10-04T08:30:00.000-04:00

I love music, and I love writing, but I've decided I can't love them both at the same time.

I remember in school I had friends that could write seriously with crazy pop songs streaming through their subconcious. Not so in my case *sigh*. I have to write in complete silence, because I think classical is annoying. How can I write a thrilling account of a chase while listening to Bambi music? How can I give the details of a mother-daughter reconcilliation while listening to waves crashing and tempests rising or people hunting foxes on horses? It's like a terribly confusing soundtrack rolling through my mind. And yes, that is the essence of instrumental for me: the background music. Or the on-hold music, or the music in an elevator. The music is the vehicle for the words. My husband would argue the words simply add to the music. We're chasing the foxes again, and I'm listening to music, so you see how this goes for me.

The point is, I'm supposed to be writing...so, "No, music, not today. You're going to have to be satisfied with a couple of dates over the weekend. Writing is my real relationship right now. Sorry."

I hate break-ups.

Amazing

2007-09-21T09:15:00.000-04:00

If there's one thing I've learned about people, it's that they are consistently amazing. Seriously. I don't care if it's the librarian who looks like she drank a bottle of lemon juice with her breakfast, she is amazing...if you get to know her. She may not have a personality you totally adore, but she has some qualities, or she has had some experience, or she has some habits that would floor you. It's true.

As far as character development, this has to impact me in some way. I can't write about the good girl character who always did thus-and-such and maintains the same course until she dies on her starched sheets at a ripe old age. There has to be something deeper than that -- something that twists my preconceptions, at least by the middle of the book. There has to be something that challenges me to think differently, something disconcerting or striking or brilliant about her that I wouldn't have known unless I'd gotten to know her as a reader. Otherwise, I'm not representing true life, and the people that we encounter every direction we turn. Because every one of them would amaze us, if we got to know them...

Probably more about this later. I'm not committing to anything today:)

Yay!

2007-09-04T09:05:00.001-04:00

I sent off my ms today. This is good, because the decision is no longer wandering around aimlessly in the back of my mind. I am freaking out about it to a degree, but I will not let that overwhelm me. I think I'll just keep repeating that over and over...and over...

the sequel

2007-08-30T12:19:00.000-04:00

I started the sequel to my first novel today; well, I started writing the actual ms today. I already have a running outline in my head and partially on paper -- a little complex (big surprise) -- but exciting for me. Much better than writing the synopsis, put it that way. I'm a little overwhelmed, like I was beginning the first one, but I know that will pass, and I'm trying to push all thoughts of a deadline out of my mind. I'm feeling energized, more than anything, making up another story, and I want to take my time. What could be more fun?

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my protagonist, and how she would have changed since we last saw her. I'm also thinking thematically about what I want to say in this one. The last one was easy -- she was still pliable and uncommitted. Now she has been molded and has made some decisions that have to play out in the future. I have to work within the framework of her character more this time, since much of it has already been developed, and bring her to some understanding within the environment I have established. I also have a few loose ends to attend to from last time, and those have given me a sense of reassurance. I definitely know where to begin, which is always good.

This is probably why I...

2007-08-28T10:17:00.000-04:00

...have to write
...love running
...want everyone to get along
...have high expectations...
...admire artists
...like the game "Taboo," and others like it
...am drawn to teachers

Take the test and let me know how it turns out for you! Hey, it's part of that whole ENFJ thing, I can't help it!

No boring story

2007-08-22T11:28:00.001-04:00

Well, the binge of procrastination is finally over. I started getting a little sick of the feeling and so I decided to do the synopsis thing, which was ~~actually rewarding~~ ~~not so bad~~ bearable. I have to admit, Camy Tang's synopsis series from Writer...Interrupted (ping) kept me from suffocating to death under all the restrictions of a task like this. Can you tell how much I love parameters?

So, I'm steadily droning away on this project, and at the same time I'm thinking about the possibilities ahead and it strikes me like it has over and over again the past year how I would've never planned this in a million years. I mean, sure I love to write -- it's like second nature, really and I would be insane unless I did it -- but I would've never seen the point in writing a whole novel. It's just been too enjoyable to be something I would consider a goal. And then I think about the Lord, and about all the people out there that think what He has for us to do is boring and predictable (like writing the synopsis has been for me because I already know the whole story) and how His plan is much, much, more creative and inspiring and suspenseful and addictive than anything we have even seen on the shelves. That's the big deception, isn't it, the blue sky and clouds view of heaven and the straight-laced, boring view of a Christian's life on earth. No, I would've never expected Him to do this in my life in this season, , and it's opened up my mind to who He really is in amazing ways. And, like any successful writer, His outline of my story is already completed to the final chapter, and I can tell you one thing: it will not be a boring story.

That's a great thought to finish with as I close this window and open back up the wildly exciting synopsis...

Grumpy Smurf

2007-08-17T13:17:00.000-04:00

Remember this guy? No matter what anysmurf said, Grumpy followed it with "I HATE ___." Yeah Grumpy, my sentiments exactly regarding this synopsis thing...

How can I hate writing something this much? Every time I think about it, I refuse to. For example: I really ought to...what's on Shannah's blog? I really should begin...it's about lunchtime. I really, really need to...weren't there some towels that needed folding? That's right folks, I'm stooping to towels, for crying out loud!

I just never anticipated this kind of resistance to something so simple. And therein is the problem, methinks. I like the lax boundaries of writing fiction, and I don't care for the no-nonsense, simplistic, minimalist, streamlined parameters of a summary. A let me regurgitate what I just wrote minus all the fun summary. And a selling-myself-and-my-story summary, at that. Did I mention that I'm not a salesperson? "I HATE selling my story." Sigh.

I really should get to that...wonder if the mail has come yet.