Miles and Madness

Off the bike for a week....

2012-01-30T13:37:00.005-05:00

Crotchitis.
Crotch rot.
Vaginitis.

Call it whatever you want, but I am off the bike for a week until this nasty rash around my sitz bones is GONE. It started almost a month ago after I got caught in the rain on a ride. It always happens, yeast infection, rash, etc. I took some leftover antibiotics, a dose of diflucan, and all seemed better. So I kept on riding. And then these little bumps appeared on my inner thighs, and a few scattered down my legs. I used cortisone creams, anti-fungal creams, I even tried jock itch spray. I finally called my DR and she called me a script of doxy, and some hard core cortisone cream (4 tubes!). It's been 4 days, and the shit seems to be clearing up - finally.

So I've been running.
And lifting.
And doing yoga.
And swimming.

B-O-R-I-N-G.

It's best to get this shit healed up NOW cuz training is about to start - full on.

I am registered for Mohican MTB 100K. Now that I know what to expect, I am even more stoked. Last year was my first year really mountain biking with a proper bike. I went big - going for the full 100 miles was stupid. Though I felt fine at mile 76 when they pulled me - I remember it like it was yesterday - the cut off's were impossible to meet. They still are. I don't know when/if I will ever be able to complete the full 100 miles, and that is ok with me. I am all for going into this race knowing the 100K is doable.

And I am even more stoked that Gnome is coming out to do the race with me. He is going for the full 100m on a singlespeed. Baller. His flight is booked, the campsite is booked, all the plans are in full fucking swing. I can't wait to see him again.

It's nice to have something to look forward to, ya know?

Perseverance

2012-01-21T14:41:00.004-05:00

Perseverance:

Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

I fucked up and ate a percocet on Monday.
And I owned that shit.

Monday was exhausting, mentally. I had taken the dogs to the woods for the first time in 3 months to run off leash. And they were gone (except for Lola, she stays on leash). For an hour and a half I called and called for them. I carry a whistle too and I blew it non-stop, praying they would come back. I was petrified and made several phone calls. My friend Sandi canceled her noon meeting to come and help me search. I was in full on sheer-panic-mode. Ari eventually did come back, but then my phone rang.

Caller: Is this Judi?
Me: YES DO YOU HAVE MY DOG?
Caller: I took him to the SPCA and they have him.
Me: WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? MY PHONE NUMBER IS ON HIS COLLAR!?

Then the SCPA was calling. They had Fausto and I could go "redeem" my dog at noon, when they opened.

I flew back to the car with Ari and Lola and drove home. I was so scared they would euthanize him, because he's a pit-bull and pit-bulls are illegal where I live. I got home, grabbed my purse and some cash and hopped back in the car.

I waited in the parking lot until they opened the gates. Once I had Fausto, safe in my arms, I relaxed. A little. I was going through every emotion possible.

I went home, got ready for work and tried to relax. On my way out to the car, my neighbor came out, calling my name. This is a guy I bought pills from - but not in the last year and a half. He put a pill in my hand, an 800mg percocet. I just said thanks and stuck it in my wallet.

I did not call anyone.
I did not say NO THANKS.
I did not do any of the things I should have done.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda doesn't matter.

I ate that fucker. And it didn't even do shit. I kept it a secret for as long as I could, which was about 30 hours. On Wednesday I told Dominic. A few minutes later I texted the 20 people I have saved in my phone as my recovery network. And that night I went to a meeting. And the next night, and the night after that.

So I start all over.

The puke-alot-kid

2012-01-15T18:50:00.005-05:00

When I was kid, I puked a lot.

If I was going to a birthday party, I puked. On New Years Eve, I puked. Even going to school, I puked. Every morning. I remember my Mom had to keep a plastic bag in the glove compartment for my puke. She even took me to the DR in the 8th grade to see if I was pregnant.

I think I was just anxious as a kid. I still am.

I was reminded of this when I ran into an old friend's Mom at the coffee shop where I work last week. Dominic was there, waiting for me to get off. When I introduced her to him, that's what she told him.

"She puked SO much when she was a kid."

Her daughter is still strung out on dope today. It's sad. She's raising her kids. My old friend is one of those junkies you see out on the highway ramps holding a sign that says "NEED MONEY FOR FOOD" - they must be making some cash cuz I see them everywhere. And I've known this girl since we were in the 2nd grade.

Later, the puking stopped once I found drugs.

Today, I keep the anxiety away with exercise.

I had another great week.

Today the trails were frozen so I rode my MTB for 2 hours.
Yesterday, a 5.5 mile trail run. So cold but so nice.
Friday, an hour of intervals on the trainer.
Thursday, 90 minute tempo ride on rollers.
Wednesday, weights focusing on legs followed by a mile swim.
Tuesday, AM, an hour of intervals on the trainer.
Tuesday, PM, a 6 mile run.
Monday, intervals on the treadmill with weights in between.
Sunday, day off.

Sunshine in January

2012-01-08T16:11:00.010-05:00

So I was checking out Statcounter the other day and saw a bunch of traffic from a site called http://www.marathontrainingschedule.net so I clicked on it. She's got the top 100 running blogs listed, from whose perspective, I am not sure. I scrolled down the list looking at all the names of the blogs. I finally found Miles and Madness.

Not at #60.
Not even mid-range.
How about #8???

HUH? Seriously? TOP 10???

So, I just wanted to thank whoever is in charge for totally making my week. Though I don't run marathons anymore, I am still thrilled to be in the top 10 of this list.

About the bike....

I've had a great week on my bike thanks to the insanely gorgeous weather we've been having. How about you? Here in Ohio we are having mega sunshine and high temps over 50 degrees. I was like a giddy kid, excited to be outside enjoying the sunshine.

After my usual trainer ride on Thursday night, which involved 75 minutes of heart rate blasting intervals, I was ready for a dose of Vitamin D.

I had to go to Harrison to pick up my dogs meat from the turkey farm, so I threw my bike in the car and headed out. I had two and a half hours to ride. The sun was warm and it felt so good to be outside, pedaling my bike. A lot of other folks out on the bike path had the same big goofy grin on their faces as I did. I was content just riding easy, but if a cyclist appeared up ahead, I raced to pass them. Hybrids and all. In fact, at one point a father and son on matching Lightspeeds passed me. The competitive nature in me took over and all of the sudden I was in full on sprint mode to pass them back. Yea, take that. So, after 40 miles, I left, with this huge smile on my face.

Saturday I decided to go climb some hills. A hill, I should say. There is a running "race" on a hill a few miles from my house called Straight st. I happened to drive down it the other night, following a friend from a meeting to another friend's house. I thought it seemed like a good hill to climb.

Pictures never do hills any justice

I haven't climbed up into Clifton Heights much since I always ride downtown and up to Clifton, but there are some hella good hills over there. I am actually blessed to live in such a hilly city. It would be boring to live in a city like Columbus where it's flat as a pancake.

So I rode across the Harrison ave viaduct and headed left on Central. I knew the hill was off McMicken somewhere, and I somehow ended up going up Riddle instead. Riddle road is a big ass climb with about an 18% grade in some parts. It winds up and around and I took it up to Clifton ave. I found Straight st from there and headed down.

On my 1st climb up, my back wheels spun out as I stood up. Cuz my tires are shot and I really need new ones. So I stayed seated. I only stood up when I got to the dry area where the sun was shining. And then I went back down. Up the hill, down the hill, for a total of 8 times. Then I rode home and had one more climb to get up into Price Hill for a total of 3000+K of climbing in just 16 miles.

Happy legs = Happy Judi

More pictures from this weeks riding on this post on Drunk Cyclist.
http://drunkcyclist.com/2012/01/08/motivation-to-ride/

I am so relieved the holidays are over, aren't you?

2012-01-04T16:12:00.007-05:00

I have never been so happy for it to be January in all my life.
And I survived, stone fucking cold sober.

The best gift I bought was a bike. Not for me, but for a kid in Arizona. Sunday Cycles, friends of DrunkCyclist.com, had a bicycle drive and over the course of 5 days, Joe raised 5K and purchased 131 kid's bikes to give out to kids whose parents couldn't afford them. Pretty rad.

Dominic and I don't exchange gifts. Not even for birthdays or anniversaries. Since I control all the money, we usually just buy something nice for the house. Or bike parts. Today we bought a ROKU so we can hook up the wireless to the TV - bye bye digital cable. Hello Netflix.

My friend Sandi bought me this:

Normally the only jewelry I wear is my wedding band and recently, swirly earrings from a tattoo shop. However, I am wearing this necklace. I like it a lot. Cuz I love bikes. And I love Sandi.

The workouts continue. I obtained my goal of 5 rest days in between Thanksgiving and the New Year. From here on out, I will take one rest day a week.

This last week went like this:

Today - 2K swim
Tuesday - Endurance intervals on the trainer in the morning, and then ran stairs last night.
Monday - 75 minutes on the rollers, keeping my HR at 160.
Sunday - ran intervals on the treadmill and lifted weights in between.
Saturday - Tempo ride on rollers for 90 minutes.
Friday - 2.5 hour ride outside, getting caught in the rain.
Thursday - 90 minutes on the trainer - hard intervals, alternating between 5 minutes at 180 and 5 minutes at 140.

Wednesday we had a bit of a scare. My father-in-law was rushed to the hospital, where we spent 9 hours with most of the family. He is going to be ok, but man, that was scary. Tom is a good man, so loving and thoughtful. Dominic takes after him in so many ways. After 3 days he was released and is now home resting. I am glad we could be there for him.

And so it goes.

The coffee shop job continues to be a good fit. Somehow the bills are getting paid, we have money saved up and I am happy. Plus I only work about 28 hours a week. How rad is that? I have become addicted to fine Viennese espresso, doing as many as 4 shots during my morning shifts. Macchiatos, skinny cappuccinos, ummm, so good. I am so spoiled now, we only make Sidewinder's blend of organic coffee at home now since we get such good deals on it. Yea, I've become a coffee snob. The treats are hard to stay away from, but discipline is key.

A funny comment popped up on this blog the other day:

"Lighten up, get high and ride your bike. Perhaps their is a balance. You are hiding behind your workouts and intensity."

Balance? HA! Never. This person clearly does not understand addiction. Or doesn't read this blog on a regular basis. I really wish I could drink in moderation. Or do a few bong hits every now and then. And take pain pills as prescribed. Never gonna happen. Not me.

With that, I will leave you with this rad video my friend Pippin did for me. It's a compilation of all the video I took of Dominic flatlanding this past year. I've posted it on DC, and it's gotten over 1200 views. I am so proud of my man. It's got him stoked to ride again.

Freestylin' compilation from judi lopresti on Vimeo.

Revelations of 2011

2011-12-30T15:59:00.006-05:00

- I don't have to work for corporate assholes anymore.

- I can be happy riding bikes, and not racing them.

- I don't have to be angry anymore.

- I'm usually the fucking problem.

- Having expectations is a defect of character.

- Real friends stand by me at my worst.

- True friends will cross paths in life, over and over again.

- Mountain biking is rad.

- I married my best friend in the world.

- It's ok to fuck up once in a while.

- Gossiping about people is evil.

- Gratitude is a must, especially when I am not feeling it.

- It's ok to feel pain, mentally or physically, cuz it will pass.

- Asking for help when I need it is a necessity.

- Always go big, or go home.

- Intensity is in my nature and always will be.

- I choose my destiny.

- Everything always happens for a reason.

- Everything works out the way it's supposed to.

- Resentments are dangerous.

- Admitting when I am wrong is the right thing to do.

- I am more self centered than I ever imagined.

- Facing fear head-on will make me better in the long run.

- Being of service to others makes me happy.

A week later...

2011-12-20T17:21:00.005-05:00

So maybe I hurt some feelings, but I had to separate myself from people who just bring out the hate in me. Fake friends, it's just not workin' for me. Joan Jett got it right.

When you were down they were never there
When you're all alone you really get to learn
If you get back up they gonna come around
All the sycophants they love to make romance
To the ugly sound of 'em tellin' you what you
Wanna hear an' you pretend

'cause they all agree you're supposed to have a better life
But you're feelin' worse
An' they build you up till you fool yourself that you're
Something else an' it's like a curse cause
You can't live up to what they made of you
An' they tell you that you're losin' friends

Losin' friends, losin' friends
Ya got nothin to lose
Ya don't lose when you lose fake friends

Ya go an tell 'em you were king of the hill
When ya need a hand - that was yesterday
Ya see 'em laugh while you're on your knees
An' it breaks your heart 'cause ya gave so much
An' ya can't believe that ya hit the gound an'
Ya notice ya been losin' friends

Losin' friends, losin' friends
Ya got nothin to lose
Ya don't lose when you lose fake friends

It's been better this week. A tad isolated, except for the people I choose to see and speak to. Mostly that has been Dominic, or my peeps in recovery.

Lots of sweat sessions - since Thanksgiving I have only given myself 3 rest days. The goal is to keep it under 5 till after the New Year.

Dominic and I have been working out a ton together. I've been kicking his ass in the gym on the treadmill, and he gets me back with hard core strength training. We swim together. He has this cute little snorkel he uses, and he insists on wearing a swimcap, cuz he thinks it makes him "smokin' fast". Really, he just looks like one of those old men you see in the pool, kind of wading through the water. In the time it takes me to swim 2K (80 laps), he swims about 50 laps. We also ride inside together. I ride the rollers while he rides his fixie on the trainer, and he makes me laugh when he wears arm warmers and knee socks. He'll watch the news while I jam out to my Ipod.

Seriously, I am so lucky to be married to him. He is such a good guy. My best friend for real.

Me and my friend Emily, who has been in my life for almost 30 years, went to a really fucking hot yoga class Sunday night. The room had to have been 115 degrees, and 60+ bodies made it even hotter. It was kind of hard to breathe, especially yoga-type breathing. I was drenched in sweat, like, ringing-out-my-tank-top kind of sweat, after the class.

I've continued to run on various days. Intervals on the treadmill or routes around p-hill. I am contemplating a 14 mile trail run in February, the Frosty 14. I've done it a few times. I always loved those trails. Trails around here are closed due to deer hunting. BOO. I love running in the woods...

I ventured out for an outdoor ride on Friday. I have to pick up my dog's meat out in Harrison so I threw my bike in the car to ride the bike path out there. It was so fucking cold, my face was frozen and I was only wearing knee warmers. I did a 10 mile warm up on the path and then went outside the park to do hill repeats on this monster of a climb, 6xs up. Then a 10 mile cool down and I was froze! And it was 35 degrees outside. I just hate cold weather rides so much.

I've been hitting up 3 meetings a week and keeping in touch with my sponsor, doing the deal. Some days, I feel ok, some days I feel lousy. It's been 10 weeks since my relapse with pills. Not a day goes by that I don't think about using some type of substance, I just don't. Day by day.

For fuck's sake, I did not pause.

2011-12-13T17:27:00.008-05:00

*** Updated below 12/14/11 ***

I just got home from work, and I am sitting here thinking about the next workout, which is in an hour. Tuesdays are my double workout day. I remember a time when most days were double workout days, and honestly, I don't know how I did it. Especially working 40 hours a week. Now I think it's this huge accomplishment when I work out twice in one day.

So anyways.

I did intervals on my trainer this morning. I busted out OB's old workouts from last winter to switch shit up when I don't want to ride rollers. Rollers are for tempo rides, usually. I wear a HRM and keep it in the low 160's for an hour to 90 minutes when I ride my rollers.

The trainer workouts go by really fast when I do OB's intervals. I am having a hard time getting my HR really up there though, like I do in a race.

O-well. I may be tired. I have only taken 2 rest days since Thanksgiving, cuz that's how I roll this time of year.

Tonight I will run stairs at Crosley Tower. For an hour, I run up 16 flights of steps 10xs. It feels good when it's over. It is for sure, the most painful workout I do in the winter, but one of the most satisfying.

This is like, week 6 of this routine and I pretty much love it. After my stair workout I grab some food and hit up my Tuesday nite meeting, which I love. I fuckin' love those people, and they love me.

I have been super sad recently. Like, this deep overwhelming sadness in my heart. I know the holidays have a lot to do with it. I don't cry often. I can count on one hand how many times I have actually cried in the last year. It might be 3 or 4 total. Last night, I found myself in tears, at work, having this huge pity party for myself. I was angry. I texted my sponsor, who just kept saying "pause". Cuz I am supposed to "pause when agitated".

I wasn't just agitated. I was fucking pissed. I wanted to eat some fucking pills. I wanted to drink some fucking whiskey. I wanted to tell anyone and everyone to fuck off. I sat at work, waiting to close up for the night and when I got home, I cried some more. And I deleted all the local racers I "friended" on Facebook. This way, I don't have to see your stupid posts about team rides, your lactate threshold test (remember I was banned from getting one last year and I'm still hella mad), your new team kit, your fucking podium, or your next fucking race.

Sound stupid? Put yourself in my goddamn shoes and think about it.

*** UPDATE ***

I just read the baddest post ever, 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. The first one on the list hit home for me:

#1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

I love my husband.

2011-12-11T17:15:00.000-05:00

Tis' the season to get fucked up - Or not.

2011-12-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

December hit me with a ton of bricks. It's here. The dreaded holiday season which I abhor so fucking much it ties my stomach up in knots and I can't shit right for an entire month.

The last 4 years I have spent most of the major holidays working from home. My choice. The money was good and it gave me an excuse to not have to be anywhere. The company I worked for didn't have a holiday party for us. I participated as little as possible, showing up to events only when I absolutely had no choice.

This year is different.

This year I work in a coffee shop that serves alcohol. Some nights I sit and stare at the bottles of different liquors I have never tasted.

Normally I have no issue with alcohol. It's been almost 11 years since I've tasted it. I can walk down the beer aisle of a grocery and not even think twice about it.

For whatever reason, this year I am struggling.

Maybe it's all the talk of holiday parties. My boss has a party for her employees every year. She does it up - case of wine, big ass bottle of booze, food, and I guess last year they ended up at the other business she owns, a bar, where they drank up $500 in booze.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like my job, my co-workers, and my boss. They are all fuckin' cool people to work with/for. But I don't have any desire to hang out while they drink themselves into oblivion. And the cool thing is - I don't have to.

Family - OTOH - I have obligations to them. I have to show up.

So, this time of year, I do the exact opposite of what everyone else is doing and I ramp up the physical activity. I double up on workouts. I get up at 6am to spin for an hour on the trainer before work, and then run stairs at night. I swim. I run. I hit the weights 2-3xs a week. I get back to doing squats, hamstrings, quads, lunges. I work on my abs. I ride my rollers. I get out for hill repeats if the weather is decent. I even go to Hot Yoga.

It's rare if I take a rest day.

I basically wear myself out so hard physically, that my brain can't think about the stupid holidays. It's all I know.

And it's only December 7th. It's gonna be a long ass month.

chatter in my head on a 10 mile run

2011-12-04T13:18:00.006-05:00

*glad i kept my old running shoes. *i hate family drama. *how do i get corn remover's to stay on? *i hate running. *maybe i'll cut it short. *hot yoga will be fun. *my legs feel good. *i wonder what mark is doing today (running by his house). *good-god girl, be glad you aren't a junkie anymore (running past an obvious prostitute on 8th and state). *fucking cramps, wish i had taken some advil. *what will menopause be like? *i hate this viaduct. *the bike lanes are nice tho. *i'm glad this fence is here or i might fall off. *that water looks nasty. *oh wow, i'm almost downtown. *this church is pretty (picture time).

*why does running always make me have to shit? *what's open? *goddamn, this sucks. *i'm never going to get home if i keep stopping. *ouch, that looks painful (passed a girl with a black eye) *my stomach is killing me. *i wonder if larosa's is open (check the door and its locked) *is there anyplace back here i can crap outside? *i wonder who that is up ahead on bikes in neon rain jackets? *neon colors are ugly. *just make it across the viaduct again. *maybe that bar on 8th and state is open.

*oh, maybe the price hill health clinic is open (hop down into the lot and nope, it's closed). *this totally sucks my stomach hurts so bad. *nothing is open on 8th and state. WOOOOOSH, a half empty beer can whizzes through the air, missing me by 1/2 inch. "MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!" *can this run get any worse? *i'm gonna have to shit outside (duck behind abandoned house and crapped). *oh fuck, there's a fucking porto-potty (construction on glenway - dash across the street into porto-potty and praisejesus there is toilet paper). *i'm gonna have to buy more tampons. *man, i feel better. *i'm gonna book it up this hill. *amazing how much better i feel. *i love running stronger on the 2nd half of a run. *i hope i see that car that threw the beer can at me. *almost up the hill now. *im almost home. *if i see that car i am gonna jump on the hood of it and fuck shit up. *awesome, it's raining. *home now.

Muddy Madness (without the hassle of pinning a number on).

2011-11-27T17:54:00.007-05:00

An inch of rain and 50 degree temps make it hard NOT to go play in the mud and get dirty on the Raleigh CX bike. So, when Charles offered to drive us out to King's CX course, I went. It was raining, and the course was a muddy mess of spin outs, half wheel high puddles, and pure joy.

The mid-west Regional Masters CX Championships are on Saturday and this weather - rain predicted for 3 days - make it very tempting to get out there for some humiliation. Especially after previewing the course today. New additions are steps (love the run ups!), and a tiny little hill that took me 5 tries to get up without getting off the bike. I love Kings CX, it was the venue for my 1st CX race and it will always hold a special place in my heart. When ever I ride there, I remember that 1st race, and how much fun it was.

We rode the course about 4 laps, in the rain, and only 4 of us out there riding. There's something fun about going out for a muddy, wet ride, and not having to race. Just enjoying the bike, the mud, the splash and squish makes me smile.

It makes Ryan smile too. I am trying to talk him into racing CX on his MTB bike. :)

Gratitude - it's not just for Thanksgiving.

2011-11-23T09:00:00.019-05:00

So this may sound lame to you, but for the last 9 months, I have text'd a gratitude list to my support network in recovery. It started last spring, when I met a woman who would become my grand-sponsor (now co-grand-sponsor, long story). When we exchanged numbers, she said "Don't be surprised if you get a gratitude list from me in the morning." And low and behold, the next morning, my phone went DING! DING! DING! and her 3 page text message came through.

It caught on, and ever since that day I have sent my own gratitude list. Everyday. Ten things.
The more involved I get with recovery, and with the people in my sponsorship network, the more people I send the list to. Right now, I have 19 people on that list. And every morning, and all throughout the day, my phone goes off DING! DING! DING! I read each and every message.

It may sound lame, but this shit works. It helps get me remember that no matter what, I have a shitload to be thankful for, even if it's something as simple as a bowel movement.

For today, I am making my gratitude list public to you. I hope you will think of ten things you are grateful for, and not just on this holiday.

1. Sober - The number one priority is my sobriety. If I am not sober, I don't have jack shit. I thank my God for helping me stay sober on a daily basis. A couple weeks ago, I was at my Mom's house. I found her stash of pain killers. She was downstairs and I had an opportunity to take them. For some reason, I put them back. I believe that there is a greater being out there, watching out for me. This may seem like a religious statement, but in reality, I am not for organized religion. Religious people are afraid of hell, spiritual people have been through hell. See the difference?

2. Dominic - my awesome husband. Not only is he charming, respectful, and funny, we share a love of bicycles. I am so very lucky to be married to this guy. To have a partner I can trust, someone who adores me as much as I adore him, someone who always has my back, and someone to grow old with - I am grateful for him and the love we share.

3. Our house - in 2002, when I closed on this house, I remembered the grit and grime of the San Francisco streets of just 6 years prior. I remembered standing in line at the homeless shelters, hoping for a chair to sit in for the night. I remembered sleeping on cardboard in an alley. I remembered walking the streets in the Mission, waiting for the sun to come up. This house may be a shitty little house in a shitty neighborhood, but it's MY house and I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. I have a washer and dryer, clean clothes, clean sheets, a furnace, AC, and a fenced in yard for my dogs. How could I not be grateful for that?

4. My Mom - she's 75 and the toughest woman I know. She's been through a lot of shit in her life. We have been though a lot of shit together. She's always been there for me and for that, I am grateful. I love you Momma!

5. My dogs - my life would be empty without them. Giving a home to a rescue dog (or 3) is the best. My dogs are so happy and grateful for the life we provide for them. They are my family and I love them all so very much. They make me laugh when I am sad. They are always happy to see me, they love unconditionally, and they teach me so much.

6. My friends - all the ones who have come and gone in my life. The ones who are dead, who have died from the disease of addiction. The ones who stick around, and the ones I have detached from for one reason or another. I am grateful for the good times and the bad, the lessons learned, I will not forget.

7. My bikes - the 13 bikes we have. Yes, it's totally cool to be grateful for material things. Bikes brought me together with Dominic. Bikes give me freedom. Bikes bring a smile to my face, whether I am racing or just peddlin' along. Bikes are pure awesomeness.

8. My job at Sidewinder Coffee. Can I tell you how much happier I am NOT working in the travel industry? I may be poor, but my bills are paid, I have everything I could possibly need (and more), and I get to work with cool people. My boss is rad. The customers are, for the most part, nice people, and I get to see a lot of people I have known for years and years. Slingin' espresso is way better than taking calls from snotty, spoiled rotten corporate travelers and I don't miss that shit for one instant.

9. My health - strong mind, strong body. I have two legs in which to pedal a bike or run if I want. I have strong bones from lifting weights. I have discipline and courage. When I set my mind to do something, I do it. Too many people I know from the past have let their health decline. I am grateful to hold onto my healthy ways.

10. Recovery network - I have this really fucking awesome group of people I see every week. When I walk into a room and see them, it makes me smile. I learn so much from them. They are there for me when the shit hits the fan. We are all sick mother fuckers but we all have one thing in common, we've been through hell and we don't want to live like that anymore. They have so much to offer and I love them more and more as time goes on. To be a part of this special group is spectacular, I will forever be grateful for all of them.

I am not down with the cold.

2011-11-19T13:02:00.005-05:00

My week of workouts consisted of this:

Saturday: 7 mile run.
Sunday: Nada, unless eating is exercise.
Monday: Two mile swim
Tuesday: AM - one hour on my rollers.
Tuesday: PM: Ran stairs for an hour.
Wednesday: Weights.
Thursday: 90 minutes on rollers keeping my HR at 160+.
Friday: 31 miles outside, froze my ass off.

Since my last CX race, I've kept the workouts inside for the most part. Last weekend it was nice and sunny and running outside is fine. It doesn't take a huge effort.

Yesterday I made the attempt to ride outside.
It sucked balls.
38 degrees and sunshine.

Sounds ok, right?

I don't know if it's the effort it takes for me to dress - base layer, tights, chamois, jersey, thermal jacket, balaclava, shoe covers...

I suppose it's a lot.
I overdress, cuz I fuckin' hate the cold. It takes me a month to adjust to it.

...Or if it sucked cuz my legs were shot from riding my rollers the night before at a hard effort....

Anyways.

I met Chip at the Purple People Bridge, a 7 mile ride from my house. On my way there, I noticed my speed was like, 14MPH. I couldn't pedal worth a shit. My clothes felt like they were weighing me down. My legs felt like two gigantic pieces of lead.

I thought, once I am warmed up and out of this headwind, I'll be ok.

Not the case.

We rode out to Indian Hill, and at mile 22, we pulled over. I got off my bike and layed on the ground and Chip snapped this picture.

I whipped out my new addiction - the Volcano ECig. Yup, I got a nicotine habit like a mother fucker now. Dominic got me hooked on it last spring when he'd plug it into my computer and let it charge. I started vapin'. I get the full on nicotine hit, without the smoke. I know, sick.

Chip wasn't having fun either. We got back on our bikes and he'd yell things like:

"Let's go back and sit in the sun some more."
"Let's call a cab."
"Let's go get some coffee".

So we did a short loop around Indian Hill and ended up at the Coffee Emporium a mile from his house.

Instead of riding the 9 miles to my house, I let Chip drive me. My hands and feet were frozen. And when I got home, my furnace was out - again. The house was freezing.

I am still sitting here without heat, waiting on a furnace man to show up.
I fuckin' hate winter.

Moving on and other shit.

2011-11-12T15:39:00.016-05:00

I made it 3 days without the Facebooks. WEAK!!! I felt detached.

I did get a lot done around the house in those 3 days. I vowed I would not log back on until my PC had been moved back into my 2nd bedroom, where Kaitlyn was staying. I worked on the closets (really, they should be cleaned out more than every 10 years), moved all of Dominic's things into the 2nd bedroom, and organized all my cycling gear thats been sitting on top of Lola's crate for 3 months. With winter coming, I wanted that shit sorted out so I could find it easily and not have to spend 2 hours getting ready for a ride.

My house is finally in order. The next thing on my list is to paint the livingroom, but Dominic and I haven't decided on a color. And then, our Christmas present to each other will be to set the aquariums back up in my office and get some baby fish, I miss having them so much. This was Vito, our Green Terror. He was so cool.

So, it's been pretty nice not thinking about racing. CX is still going strong here in the mid-west. Regional Masters Champs is the weekend after Thanksgiving. Skipping that. Master's WORLDS CX is in January just an hour and a half away in Louisville. Skipping that.

I had hoped to race well this season but the crash 6 weeks ago pretty much ended my season, and I am totally ok with that. Keeping my ass lifted is more important to me these days. I've been running again - 7 miles last weekend HURT. I swam 2 miles yesterday. This morning I spun out a sweaty hour long session on rollers, and tonight I will run steps. No scheduled workouts, just healthy - you dig?

On racing in 2012 - well, I probably won't focus on it. I had a lot of fun this summer racing criteriums and did well.

And Mohican was one of the best days I have ever spent on a bike.

The RideClean team is no more. I got the email the other day. Something about sponsorship, and the managers of the team having personal difficulties. It's a shame, because the RC statement was worth so much in the sport of cycling. For me, RideClean was the perfect opportunity, what with being associated with DrunkCyclist and all (the DC emblem is even on the jersey).

As much fun as racing can be, the team thing continues to haunt me. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it just does not suit my personality. I don't like the elitism, the feeling of not belonging, the emotions of being an outcast. I am not "team material" as one commenter put it:

"Don't assume by someone's results that they are fast. Coming in 4th out 5 racers in a beginner category doesn't make you fast. I do agree that teams don't just hand out invitations based on performance. They also invite people to join a team because they like that person, know they would be good advocates for the cycling community & would represent their team in a positive light. Judi's personality alone doesn't qualify her to be a part of any team. The local teams just don't want to be associated with her potty mouth, addict attitude and drama she invokes. That doesn't make them elitist. Judi seems bitter. Hence the " Local teams suck" blog post. "

That comment has stuck with me throughout this entire year of racing. I've often wondered who it was, and why the fuck I continue to show up, pin a race number on, and try to be a part of Cincinnati's race scene...

No more.
I am through.

The friends I have made via racing bikes, well, the "real" friends, will keep in touch and continue to be there when and if I need them. The rest of the fakies out there can suck it, ya know?

Internet Wasteland

2011-11-10T19:37:00.003-05:00

After a couple of weeks of contemplating it, I suspended my account this morning.

I don't know about you, but I was spending way too much time staring at that fucking page, with the update stream on the right hand side of the screen, sucking me in. Who are these people? I knew fewer and fewer of them as I accepted more and more friend requests. Mostly blog readers, or friends of friends that I knew next to nothing about. Nor had anything in common with. I was just wasting time, unable to stop staring at that fucking page. I found myself getting a later start to my day, often hours later, wondering where my day went.

Back when I worked from home, and could look at Facebook while on someone's else's clock, it was cool. A good way to waste time in between calls. That life is over, and though I only work part time, 4 days a week, I have a lot of shit to do around my house. Until that's all done, I am saying goodbye to Facebook and all it's addictive ways.

UCI3 CX

2011-11-06T16:52:00.009-05:00

As it sit here at my computer, trying to find the words for this blog post, it's just turned 5pm, and the sky is getting dark. We changed the clocks back last night. This feeling of dread sits in my gut, knowing that holidays, snow, and bad weather are approaching. At least I have the discipline to ride indoors to keep some sanity going....

So I raced this weekend. I wouldn't call it racing though. More like, I rode my (Raleigh's) bike in a CX race. I placed shitty both days but I managed to have some fun with it, stayed upright, and smiled some.

Friday's race at Devou was awesome. I had a couple goals to just have fun and stay upright. Having been off my bike for most of the last 4 weeks, I knew my legs would feel like shit and I knew it would hurt. CX hurts. There is no way around it. We had mud, hills, mud, hills, logs, hills, and mud, and a lot of leaves. I had fun. I really did. And when I came across the finish line, I smiled, having only beat two women. I didn't care. I just had fun riding a bike in the mud. After Dominic left, I hung out with some non-team oriented guys after the race who got drunk and made me laugh a lot. It was a great day.

Today's race at Harbin was not fun. I mean, the course was fun, it's my 3rd year doing it. An incident in the parking lot with me, whacking my finger on a bike pump trying to help out a fellow female rider who reads this blog, getting blood on her, freaked me out enough to put The Wall up. After that, I spoke to few people, only a handful of women I like, but don't see often.

The team thing once again, getting on my fucking nerves, as it has for the 2+ years I've been bike racing.

The race itself was shortened to just 2 laps since it was a long course and the time change was going to make the pro's race near dark. I needed that 3rd lap, but whatever. I stayed upright, smiled some, really enjoyed the time spent on my (Raleigh's) bike.

We pretty much got the hell out of there once my bike was cleaned up.

Here are some fun pictures from the two days I raced. I wore a face mask to prevent the asthma from kicking in, and it worked really well even though I look like an idiot.

I've been thinking long and hard about 2012, and what all I want to do as far as my bikes go. That's a whole 'nuther post I have going on in my head, and I'll work on it next week. I think anything that requires a USAC license will be out the window. Staying fit and looking good in my clothes/bathing suit seems more important these days than stupid bike races that leave me feeling like shit....

Have a great week.

I'm not dead, my PC was.

2011-11-03T20:00:00.007-04:00

It's been almost a month since my crash at Gun Club CX. My knee is still cranky when I ride. My left kneecap is different than the right. Not swollen, but it's definitely got a different shape. I took two full weeks off the bike and have only ridden a handful of times since then.

The Cincy UCI3 CX festival kicks off tomorrow and I am reg'd to race at 10:30am. I am also reg'd to race Sunday - if nothing bad happens. I feel obligated to finish out the season, if at all possible. I owe Raleigh, at the very least, to race their awesome bike at one of the biggest CX races in the country. This is it. I am going to go for it, try to have fun, and not hurt so bad. It's been raining non stop all day so it's going to be a mud fest too.

The Raleigh RX 1.0 on the MTB trail at Devou

I got this email today:

Judi,

I'm just one of your blog readers, but thought I would check on you anyway.

Your last blog mentioned that you had stumbled and maybe you are having a private time right now. I wanted to let you know that we (your blogging stalkers) were thinking of you and wishing you strength and peace.

Sending good mojo your way,

Vicky

How sweet is that?

So, yea, as I told Vicky, I am doing pretty good. Bummed about the new sobriety date. I would have had 8 months now. Whatever, shit happens. You just get up, dust yourself off, and move the fuck on.

So, moving on.

My PC has been dead for the last week. My computer guy hooked me up with a new system tonight and I am back to my keyboard. I can't do laptops. Lola ate the wires to the back of my computer, the day I took the tower in, so that was a mess to try and straighten out.

Speaking of sweet Lola. She is as healthy as can be, is taking vitamins for her itchy skin (white pit bulls have delicate pink skin!) and is putting on weight. She is looking fabulous. A terror, no less, but a joy to have around. I took this picture of her in the woods last week while we were waiting on Ari and Fausto to come back from chasing deer.

Last weekend, Dominic and I got dressed up for a fancy schmancy wedding for Ryan and Kristi, and Dominic was one of four groomsmen. It was a beautiful wedding, and even though we had a ton of shit we were going through in our own personal relationship, we pulled it together. I wore make up for the first time in about 7 years, and Dominic wore a tux.

We clean up rather well, if I do say so myself. I only have these two pictures because Dominic would not pose for anymore.

Last but not least, Kaitlyn is moving out. I don't really have much to say on the subject, but I tried so hard, I really did. The responsibility was overwhelming and Dominic and I are NOT parent material. She is 18 and I am optimistic she will take the right path in life. Some of us are dealt shitty hands in life, and we just have to make the best of the situation and move forward.

XXOO-
Judi

new sobriety date

2011-10-18T22:58:00.007-04:00

last week, after i crashed, i ate 20 vicodin and a bottle of codeine cough syrup in 4 days.

when i got to the er, in addition to my bleeding knee, i was coughing like i always do after racing CX. coughing like i had been for 10 days. pred, amoxy, nyquil, all did nothing for me.

as i sat waiting on the hospital gurney, my mom showed up. i demanded some of her pain meds. she claimed not to have any. then dominic showed up and i heard her whispering to him about me wanting pain meds.

then the nurse came over with a little cup and said, "here are some vicodin, they will help with the cough too."

dominic was furiously texting with my father-in-law (i love my pops) and my mom was yelling "HOLD ON, SHE'S IN RECOVERY!" and i was grabbing at the cup and saying "it's FINE, i NEED them".

i swallowed them without water.

half hour later the pills were kicking in, goddamn what a tease.

the nurse came in and started numbing my knee up. that's when i had to bite down hard on a water bottle to keep from screaming. she stuck me several times with lidocaine before my knee was numb. then i watched as she sewed me up.

the other nurse came back in and i asked for a script of codeine cough syrup, because as promised, the vicodin had relieved my cough. i was sent home with an rx of naprosyn (strong advil) and an rx of phenergan/codeine cough syrup.

the chemicals in my brain just react. it's like an allergy. the destructive behaviors began all over again.

-manipulation
-anger
-loss of control
-lying

we went to walmart for the scripts. i threw out the naprosyn and grabbed that 150ML bottle of cough syrup like it was a stack of 100 dollar bills.

i got loaded.

i woke up early monday morning, after the numbing meds had worn off, screaming out in pain. at 8am, when my dr's office opened, i called them and told them what happened. it took all day for my dr to call back, but once she did, i easily manipulated her into a few days worth of vicodin (10 pills).

they were gone the next day.
so i went to a meeting.
all i could think about was getting more pain pills.

so i called her for more on wed, and she agreed to give me 10 more.

thur morning i texted my sponsor:
i have to start my clean time over

she took me to a meeting that night.

today i have 6 days sober.

OCCUPY: I've come to a conclusion.

2011-10-15T13:29:00.007-04:00

Life just gets harder as you age.

I look back to decades past, and think "wow, shit was easy back then."

In my 20's, I was in a drug induced haze. I don't even remember who was in office, let alone vote for them. I remember making stencils that read "Eat Quayle Drink Bush" and spray painting that shit on my leather jacket. Yet, at the time, I really didn't give a shit about the government, I just knew that all politicians were crooks and that Government was the enemy.

Yet, I stood in line for welfare and food stamps in SF and sold them for dope. Hypocritical maybe?

I was declared indigent by the courts in 96', as I stood in front of a judge for crimes I committed. The state paid my way through drug treatment and drug court. I got food stamps and welfare as I lived in a halfway house, until I could stand on my own two feet and get a fucking job.

In my 30's, I decided I wanted to live like a "normal" person. I went to trade school, got a real job, with a BIG CORPORATE company, and I had health insurance that actually paid the bills when I went to the doctor. I was riddled with anger throughout the 7 years I spent at that job. I fucking hated it. Yet, I loved the benefits and the vacation days and the fact that I could have a credit card and a buy a house, in MY name.

Then the insurance premiums went up.
And up and up and up.
I changed jobs.
I had worse insurance.

I noticed bills from the doctor's office. I was paying more and more for insurance that didn't cover anything.

Then I lost that job and haven't paid a dime for insurance since.
Fuck it.

I sat in bankruptcy court this summer and watched people declare a Chapter 7, couples with 300K houses, Lexus cars, boob jobs, and motorcycles. Then they called the LoPresti's up to the stand. The judge announced our debt, our home worth 22K, our cars worth under 4K...

And now here I am, 41 years old, and back to where I started when I was 20.

No credit.
No insurance.
Struggling with addiction on a day to day basis.
Working for 7 bucks an hour in a coffee shop with a bunch of 20 year olds.

My eyes are wide open today. I watch the news. I see them talk shit. It's the same fucking shit that went on when I was 20, it's just a different decade.

I may be part of the 99%, but this Occupy shit just isn't a priority for me and marching downtown in front of the banks certainly isn't going to change MY life.

Now, go ride your fuckin' bike or something.

Busted up and Broke down.

2011-10-10T10:44:00.005-04:00

I lined up with 34 women at Gun Club CX yesterday. That was just Cat 4's women! This race and CX in general has completely exploded in the Ohio Valley. We had 70 juniors racing yesterday alone. A total of 406 racers at Gun Club yesterday, and in 2003, there were 37 racers TOTAL. And this isn't even a UCI race!

I crashed before my first lap was over. The entire race report is on DC.

I had no idea how bad I had crashed until this morning, at 1am, when the numbing medicine had worn off and pain was shooting out of my knee like lightening bolts.

I had to scramble to find someone to cover my shifts the next couple days at the coffee shop. Luckily I was able to - it's hard when the majority of my co-workers go to school full time, or work other jobs.

It looks like I will be resting up for the next couple of weeks.

Epiphone

2011-10-05T12:36:00.006-04:00

I've been sick the last week or so, and I've been off the bike a lot. This gives me time to think a lot, which can be bad. I tend to get stuck in my head and start to obsess on little things.

For instance, last weekend's CX race.

I had been sick for several days before the race but decided to reg' at that last minute on Friday. I woke up Sunday feeling crappy, mostly from lack of sleep due to working at Sidewinder the night before, closing the coffee shop and getting home late. I was still excited to race on that gorgeous Raleigh and see what I could do.

The race was SHIT. I have never felt so bad during a race in my life. Coughing, hacking, lack of breath, I felt like I was going to fucking DIE. I coughed all the way through the 2nd half of the race and was mortified that I raced so shitty.

I wrote up a race report on DrunkCyclist.com and received a lot of good feedback. Then I got a nasty comment:

Peter H, Raleigh Says:
October 3rd, 2011 at 2:46 pm

This sponsorship is really working out for us! A last place rider result and bike photo with puke! Wow, way to go!

But the REAL Raleigh people left this comment:

KJT Says:
October 3rd, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Actually, Peter H (who is NOT associated with Raleigh)… we (the real Raleigh clowns) are quite pleased with the sponsorship. In fact, our marketing guy had this to say about the puke photo:
“You’re supposed to do that during the race. Not only does it get rid of some weight…it also ads a layer of moisture in your mouth when no one is offering handups!”
Judi is riding bikes – that’s all we care about. That she’s riding a Raleigh is just icing on the cake. That she’s racing… well that’s just gravy on top of the icing on the cake. Which could bring us back around to puking. Circle of life, pal. Oh, and don’t be such a dick.

That shit stung, especially when I tracked the IP address and found out it was a local Cincinnati hater.

This local bike racing scene tears me up sometimes. In fact, it tears me up so bad that I am contemplating not even renewing my USAC license in 2012. Just giving it up - the racing - not the bikes.

See, I love bikes. Yet I find that racing them takes my love out of riding them. Does that make sense? I've bitched about the team elitism, it reminds me of high school, where I never belonged either. I go to the bikes races, see a few friendly faces, am snubbed by many, and a lot of times, I go home thinking "well that sucked".

A few girls I have managed to make friends with, and we have dinners out and talk on the phone and sometimes they even cheer for me when they can't race. It's cool.

Then there is DrunkCyclist. A blog that is read by cyclists around the world. Today a package arrived in the mail. Ergon gloves, 6 pairs of socks, Arizona Hot Sauce, a tool cage thingie that fits under a bottle cage, and stickers galore.

The other package that came today was from Raleigh. Some socks to race in. How fucking rad is that?

And the 3rd package that came today was from Beth, a sweet girl, who I met at Interbike and who reads this blog and DrunkCyclist. She has become a friend over the last year, a fellow jewish girl who likes to ride bikes. She sent me a boatload of stickers and patches and all kinds of cool PDX bike stuff. So fucking thoughtful of her.

I am fortunate to be shown a lot of love by a lot of people. It is pretty awesome.

The race thing, well, I am not so sure I belong there anymore. I'd like to do some serious riding on my Voodoo - Mohican 100k and The Whiskey 50m in AZ - but all the rest of the races just don't seem fun anymore.

I've met so many other people this past year who just like to ride bikes, and I think that's just what I am gonna do in 2012.

Ride my fucking bikes.

General updates on life and shit.

2011-09-26T09:24:00.006-04:00

Lola
Lola is back to being Lola - waking us up at 6am by climbing on Dominic and biting his ears. She's eating huge meals 3xs a day and her energy level is THROUGH THE ROOF. Pooping and peeing normal. I can't believe a week ago she was dying of Parvo, and we were sleeping in puke filled sheets. She is off the herbal remedy and I am going to take her in for bloodwork in a couple of weeks to make sure all is well.

Work
I am working at this coffee shop in Northside. Even though the money sucks, I love working there. The job at the transitional house didn't work out, and I am totally ok with that. I am not ready for something that heavy anyways. For now, I love making espresso drinks for people who I've known over half my life. It's really the first job I've had in 15 years that I don't dread going to.

Kaitlyn
I love having Kait here. She turned 18 last Friday, and she's learning how to be more independent. We moved my computer out of the 2nd bedroom and she moved all her shit in there. They painted the walls a cool blackberry color and she put her up zebra curtains. Since she's moved in, her happiness is shining through. She no longer smokes, her face isn't all broken out from stress, and she has a new guy hanging around. He is a good guy too, has friended me on Facebook, hangs out at the house, and he and Dominic like to play with electric cars. Go figure.

Bikes and Racing
I got a demo bike from Raleigh to race CX on all season. I wrote about it on DrunkCyclist. I emailed the marketing guy at the Raleigh mothership in Seattle asking if he had anything I could demo and I'd write about it on DC. He sent me this beautiful bike 2 days later. My old CX bike was giving me an ulcer. Every time I rode it, something broke. The last ride, when I cracked the derailleur and snapped the chain, I lost it. I was desperate for a proper bike to race on, and Raleigh really came through for me. I still can't believe it.

CX season is here, and I have been making myself wait to race until October. I didn't want to be burned out by the time November came around, so my 1st OVCX race will be this Sunday in Yellowsprings. I haven't been practicing much, but I have been riding that Raleigh, getting used to the Sram components and making sure the fit is perfect. The ride is smooth as shit, and I am psyched to race this bike and see what happens.

Anniversary
Dominic and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary last week. It's hard to believe we have been married a year. We didn't do anything special, but we wanted to be sure we rode bikes together that day. So we did the Slow Ride where we stopped downtown and Michael Providenti took this awesome picture.

That's about it for now. Have a great week.

Lola is on the mend!

2011-09-21T15:55:00.005-04:00

Finally, after 5 days, Lola has made a 180 degree turn around, and is on the way to recovery! Parvo is a mother fucker of a disease and she had a 50/50 chance of making it. I've read that 70% of the dogs that contract the illness die.

Monday after I posted here, I contacted a place called Wolf Creek Lodge. They have treated 46 out of 47 parvo puppies successfully with two products, Parvaid which is used in conjunction with Vibactra, both herbal remedies.

The conventional meds she had been taking, sub q fluids and antibiotics, weren't doing anything. She was still throwing up about 4xs an hour and I was desperate.

I had them overnight the remedies. In the meantime, they gave me an "emergency tea" recipe to give to her as an enema once an hour. I sped off to the grocery store for the items and came home and made a batch. It consisted of mint medley and chamomile tea, pedialite, garlic cloves, vitamin c, and echinacea.

After 17 hours of hourly enema's of the tea, she peed for the first time in 36 hours and wagged her tail, and jumped on the bed by herself.

Once the UPS package arrived yesterday, she started on oral doses mixed with the pedialite every 15 minutes. This was administered until 4am this morning, and she held it down with out throwing up. This morning she jumped off the bed to go outside to potty, and Dominic stayed home with her while I worked at the coffee shop. At noon, he called to tell me she wanted food.

WOOOOOOO!!!

When I got home, she was waiting for me in the livingroom, tail wagging and jumping around, playing with a stuffie. I couldn't believe it. I really think she's going to pull through, and it's a freaking miracle, really.

Thank you all for your support and donations. I can not believe the generosity of all of you, it means so much, I can only say that I am grateful - in so many ways.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Lola Parvo Fund

2011-09-19T15:21:00.001-04:00

In the last two hours, I have had 4 requests from readers and friends to donate to Lola's medical bills. It is so overwhelming, thank you so much. We have spent $400 so far and the costs keep on coming.

If you would like to donate via Paypal, my address is judir6@gmail.com.
My physical address is:

4034 Akochia ave
Cincinnati, Ohio
45205

Thanks for all of your comments and good vibes.

XXOO - Judi and Dominic, and little Lola LoPresti