They’ve cut off all your hair and the only personal possessions you have are your Bible and a notebook? Embrace the suck. Deployment has been extended again? Embrace the suck. PCS orders have been delayed? Embrace the suck. Oh, our household goods won’t arrive on time and when they do some of them will be broken? Embrace the suck.  

Whether you are new to the military community or you’re counting down the days and weeks to retirement, you know that there are circumstances beyond your control, ones that are unique to a life that is scripted by the Department of War. And when an event happens today that is beyond your control you have learned to say, “Embrace the suck,” and to do just that.  

I know that most of the time this is said tongue in cheek, but sometimes that event, those circumstances that are beyond your control, can be miserable, painful, they weigh on your heart and mind and soul. There are different ways you can respond. You can accept it and move on with resiliency. Easier said than done. . . Or. . . you can run away from it, ignore it, as if it didn’t happen, but you’ll eventually have to deal with it. Or. . . you can sit and wallow in your self-pity. Or. . . you can ask Jesus, “What did you do, when you had to embrace the suck?” Because Jesus, too, had to embrace the suck.   

Jesus addresses all of those times in life when we as Christians have to do things we don’t want to do, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).

When Jesus tells you to deny yourself, he means that you learn to say, “Not my will, but yours be done.” God does have your best interests in mind. He promises it, “I will make all things work out for your benefit” (Romans 8:28). And so you have to trust him even when that thing you are going through seems to challenge his word.  

When Jesus tells you to take up your cross and follow me, it means that you must deny your own doubts and fears, and say, “No matter how great my pain, how horrible my suffering, my God remains my God and Savior because he has promised to be my God and Savior. I will embrace his promises even when they seem to contradict his promise of grace and help in every need.”  

Christ doesn’t just tell us to do these things without showing us that he did them for us. Christ embraced the suck, but more than that! He embraced the good and gracious will of his Father, even when it was difficult, even when it meant he suffered, even when it meant he endured the separation of hell and death and grave for us. He grasped the cross for you so that one day, you will set it down and rest forever.  

Who is Jesus? That was the topic of discussion I had with a young US Army Soldier. He had studied the world religions—Islam, Christianity, Hinduism—and concluded that Jesus was a good teacher, a moral example, but not Savior. 

“Who do people say I am?” Jesus asked his disciples. They shared the whisperings they heard as they mingled with the crowds and listened in the marketplaces, “One of the prophets from old, raised from the dead.” This was nothing new. Jesus dealt with false assumptions about his identity since he walked this earth.  

For some, Jesus is a cheerleader who will affirm whatever it is they want to do in life. For others, he is the “giver of bling,” a genie who will grant them whatever their heart desires. For some, he is a teacher, a moral guide to follow and somehow earn their way to heaven. And others will look at the pluralistic religious environment in which they live and determine, “He is one of many ways to heaven.” But if that’s all Jesus is, why follow him at all?  

This is the question you and I and everyone needs to answer, “Who is Jesus?”   

When the disciples answered as they had heard from crowds, he asked them, “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of living God” (Matthew 16:16). How did he come to that conclusion? He listened, he watched, he read the Old Testament promises and compared them with this man before him and concluded—and believed—“This is the Son of God, the Savior for the world, but more importantly, for me.”  

Yes, my friend, Jesus is more than just a good teacher, for his teachings give life, because they are living words, life-giving words. Jesus’ words give rescue from death. He is more than an example, for we could never perfectly follow it. But the life he lived, he lived for us, for you. Who is Jesus? He is the life, the truth, the way, the one upon whom the Church is built. His is the name which saves you. “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13).

When you have those spiritual and religious conversations, please redirect the convo back to the question, “Who is Jesus?” And then listen. Be patient. Seek to understand. And then confess, “Can I share with you what I know to be true about Jesus? He is the eternal Son of God, who lived for me, died for me, and rose from the dead for me, to give me life eternal, and he has for you, too.”

When have you felt like an outsider? Some of you have shared with me stories about the times you’ve been embedded with locals, in a country on the other side of the world. Or times when you’ve sat down with tribal leaders. Veterans have shared stories about their transition from active duty to the civilian side and while working and living among civilians, they look around and say, “These aren’t my people. I don’t feel like I belong.” As a civilian, I’ve often felt that way when giving an invocation at a military ceremony or leading a Bible study or worship service surrounded by people in uniform, I say to myself, “I do not belong here.”  

But the place I most often feel that way is in the presence of my almighty, holy God. Do you ever feel that way? Whether you are sitting in the pew at church or at home in prayer and devotion, it happens often that I do not feel that I belong there. As I reflect on his Word that I hear and read, his Word convicts my conscience. At times I have been lax in my vocations in the way I fail to love and serve others. I do not belong around them or my God.     

Then Jesus reminds me and you, “Yes, you do belong here. For you are a sinner in desperate need of forgiveness, but that does not exclude you from belonging to me and with me.” The one before whom we stand provides just that: belonging. He brings us in. Listen to his Word from the apostle Paul:

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. . . .Consequently, you are no longer   foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.  In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit. (Ephesians 2:13,19-22)   

My friend, when you sit in church, or at your kitchen table, or lie in bed with folded hands, know this: you belong. Christ has given his blood, the guiltless to make the guilty innocent, the holy one to make the unclean blameless, the priceless one makes us mortals immortal. We who were outsiders, foreigners, aliens, strangers, he makes you and me his friends, his brother and sister, a son and daughter to his Father in heaven, now and forever. Yes, you belong because of Christ Jesus.   

Our daughter got married last month, and someone was missing at that wedding. Our son-in-law’s younger brother could not attend. He is currently in school, training to be a diver for the Navy, and of course, he had training that weekend. My brother-in-law who serves in the US Army had to report to his new duty station that weekend, and he missed the wedding celebration. That’s hard for a family and for the war fighter who signed up to give their entire life in service to their country.  

Separation. This is a common theme I hear when I listen to war fighters who are deployed or in school. When I was in Korea and Okinawa in June, I asked our Soldiers and Marines, “What’s been the thing that you struggle with the most?” Separation. Missing out on weddings, birthdays, the birth of a child, anniversaries, funerals—one naval officer missed his son’s high school graduation in Japan this spring.  

The other answer I receive is this: “We miss church. Yes, we can watch online, but it’s not the same. We miss being in person with our church family.”      

There is another side of separation that I think applies here. As a war fighter, especially one who has experienced trauma or moral injury, symptoms of depression and anxiety can create a separation in the relationships you have; sometimes it’s a past tense “had.” That’s difficult.

As you think about all these types of separation, the Apostle Paul asks the question that we need to ask, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?” (Romans 8:35). Now, the Apostle Paul isn’t implying that your other relationships aren’t important. They are important. But isn’t the most important relationship that we can have with Christ, our Savior? When we experience deep separation from family, from major life events, from church family, it helps to know where we stand with him.  

Paul answers the question for us: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38,39).

You will miss major life events. Your heart will ache because many miles and circumstances isolate you from others who love you. But there is no distance, no circumstance, no military order that can keep Christ from being present with you, nor can it keep him from loving you.  

He is there with you right now as you listen to these words. He has promised it. He is with your loved ones and friends. He promises it. He loves them. He loves you. The proof is that he chose to be separated from God his Father on the cross so that you might never know separation from God.  

When you feel that you are missing God’s presence in your life, pick up this book. Open up to Romans chapter 8 and read it out loud. And listen. God speaks to your heart. God makes his love known to you in Christ. God is present. Nothing can separate you from his love for you.  

At the time of this recording, I first learned the names of the four US Soldiers who gave their lives in service to our country: Sgt. Michael Swinton, Sgt. Angel Rampersad, 1st Lt. Tyler Feehan, Pfc. Isabella Gonzales.  

Combat, war, death, physical wounds, the unseen wounds of trauma and moral injury—these are all evidence of the presence of the devil at work in our world, and the influence of sin on the hearts of sinful people who want to kill and destroy.  

During times like this, you wonder, and you ask God questions, “How am I to trust you when there is no guarantee that I will make it home from deployment in one piece or alive at all? How am I to trust you when I have prayed to come home, and we continue to be extended indefinitely? How am I to trust you when my loved one or friend is downrange and life is falling apart around me?”     

When you wonder if God cares for you, when you question his love for you, when you believe Satan’s lie that God is not capable to provide or protect you. . .then ask, “What does God say in times like this?”  

Listen to these truths from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves” (Ephesians 1:4-6).    

Before God created the world, he decided in his heart that he would choose you to be saved. In time he made that election and calling certain at your baptism. Baptized in water and the Word, he adopted you into his family. You are his son or daughter, for now and for eternity. He did all of this in Christ, that is, because of what Jesus Christ has done for you. He was blameless and holy for you. He shed his blood for you. He loved you. And so, God chose you in Christ. 

War and combat, injury of mind and soul, grief and sorrow, not even death can change this truth: You are chosen in Christ. Therefore, you are his son. You are his daughter. You are the object of his love, in life and in death.