- Oswald Sanders

This thought has captivated me this week. With a 40 hour work week, free-lance writing on the side and being someone who needs an average of 8 hours of sleep a night (I realize that makes me borderline elderly) my days are pretty full. What I tend to do during the rest of the time during the day has really been at the forefront of my mind after reading this quote.

I kept a record of how I have spent my leisure time during the past week and I found that most of it was filled with somewhat mindless, vegetative activities. Usually Downton Abbey on Monday nights, The Bachelor on Tivo Tuesday nights, and a combination of Community and The Office on Thursday nights. This doesn’t account for the 20-minute sessions I spend on Facebook or Twitter several times a day.

The truth is that time is one commodity that we can never get back. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, so the problem is not the lack of time, but how we decide to use the time we’ve been given.

After reading this passage and evaluating my wise use of time, or lack there of I decided to deactivate my Facebook account, in an effort to sort of unplug and free up some of my time for more productive activities. I don’t tell this for any other reason to provide a testimony of how helpful this week off has been. There hasn’t been a reason for me to check my Facebook to see if I have received any new notifications or messages, and it has freed up a lot of time.

As leaders, we must carefully choose how we spend our leisure hours. Using my personal schedule with 10 hours for work related activities, 8 hours for sleep, 3 hours for eating and conversation, we still have 35 hours a week to spend!

By no means and I saying that watching TV and spending time on Facebook is wrong. In fact, I will probably sit down to watch Modern Family tonight like I do every other week, but I am beginning to become more conscious about the hours I have been given.

What systems have you created to ensure you’re spending your leisure time wisely?

In speaking of self management, it described it as…

How we handle our emotions. Can we keep our distressing emotions from crippling or interfering with our capacity to think well, make good decisions? Can we stay focused and motivated? Positively working toward goals even when things are tough? Are we adaptable, flexible in making responses? All comes from internal self management.

I like to think that I’m good at this. Like I can manage myself well and come through in pressure situations and when making tough decisions. I think we all WANT to think we’re good at this.

Let me list just a few tips I think we can all use to get better at this…

• Manage Our Time Better
• Set More Goals
• Deal with Personal Insecurities Head On

That being said, the real point of this post  is…

How does the millennial generation do in managing themselves? What do you see personally? How can we get better?

It started off innocently enough, with someone pushing back on my theology. I didn’t get prickly or defensive. I went introspective. Let me try to get you in my mode of warped thinking.

Ever heard someone tell you how they hate they could only get to the gym twice this week and think, “Geez…quit saying I’m lazy!” Or maybe you’ve heard someone mention how they’ve switched to a new, healthy way of eating and all you hear is, “You’re so irresponsible with your diet!” Or maybe someone says, “I love getting up early to read my Bible” and all you hear is a heap of condemnation thrown your way.” They say one thing…you hear another.

The unraveling begins

That’s sort of what happened recently when I was questioned about my theology. Not “questioned” as in “What do you believe about ____.” Questioned as in, “Why would you ever say ____?!?”

The thread was hanging loose and I gave it a little tug, only to have more of the thread exposed. Another little pull left more thread in my hand. Another jerk and a hole appeared in the sleeve.

I started wondering, “Am I really a theologian? Do I even have any idea what I’m talking about?” I thought, “Has God really called me to ministry? Am I being effective? Have I ever been effective?” I let my mind wander: “Why would God call me into ministry? Why would He ever use me to lead people and communicate truth?”

I’m useless. I’m worthless. I have nothing to offer.

Feeding the lie

I stopped myself.

I was being fed a Lie. And I was tossing him more snacks. With every passing thought, that Lie was hastily burrowing itself into the fabric of my identity. My identity that is deeply rooted in Christ was being unraveled and dismantled, and I was watching it happen before my eyes.

If I didn’t do something quickly, the whole sweater was about to be a pile of thread in my hands.

So I did what you have to do if you want to stop the thread: I cut it off. I didn’t allow it to do more damage. I didn’t keep pondering the theological challenge. I didn’t keep feeding the Lie. I snipped it with a pair of scissors.

I can only think that if identity insecurities crop their nasty head up in my life, they do in yours, too. When we should find our identity in being called the King’s son, we often find it in

• being a parent
• our career
• our church
• our hobby
• our insights
• being right
• our theology
• our talents

Reorienting your identity

When someone questions one of those “identities,” the thread comes loose. You find yourself either lashing out in anger or turning inwards in deep introspection.

The answer to this spiral is to root your identity not in what you’ve earned, but in who God has declared you to be.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will… – Ephesians 1:3-5 (emphasis mine)

You’re a child of the King

No longer are you outsiders and foreigners and weird cousins. You’re now a son, with all of the inheritance and blessings that a son should receive. And nobody can take that name from you. Not even you.

Let that truth fight the Lie of insecurity for you.

* photo credit: Creative Commons user Ingesting

I’m used to giving presentations to adults, from college-aged to executive management. But, middle and high school-ers? Where do I begin?

I sat and fuddled around for a bit before settling on a topic. There is a lot to talk about when it comes to leadership, especially when it comes to helping to grow the next group of leaders. What are the topics most important to the leaders of tomorrow? What do they need to know to be successful? To be “good” leaders? And that thought right there – the “what do tomorrow’s leaders need to know to be “good leaders” – brought me to Servant Leadership.

Leaders must be humble. It is important to always remember that those who lead are leading others, and those others depend on their leader. Leaders carry a huge amount of responsibility to not only push their followers toward a common goal, but to do so ethically and fairly. Leaders have to be confident, they have to keep looking ahead, but they must always, always remember their duties to those who follow them and that without that followership, they would not be a leader.

Leadership isn’t about being the boss. It’s not about being telling people what to do and making them do it. It’s about inspiring and encouraging others, setting yourself up as a role model for positive behavior, and encouraging others to grow and reach goals because they want to, and because they know you’re supporting them. They know they can count on you. The path of Servant Leadership requires leaders to get involved. They have to lead the way, to be ready to roll their sleeves up and work alongside those they lead.

It’s a path less traveled than the traditional leadership model. Being a servant leader requires that you really put yoursef out there, that you take alongside those you lead, and walk the talk.

If you’re interested, you check out the presentation slide deck here

This blog was originally posted on www.LindyRyan.com on May 10, 2012.

As I sat there typing away at my computer, I noticed a girl sitting across from me constantly looking up. At first I thought it was just because I was typing to violently or looked stressed, but the more I looked up, the more I noticed her consistent glances.

Did I have something on my face? Did I know her but not recognize her? I couldn’t figure it out.

After about 20 minutes, she stood up and started packing her things. As she was leaving, she stopped beside my table. After introducing herself, she explained how she liked to do quick drawings of people whenever she worked at coffee shops. As she left, she laid down a piece of paper on the table.

It was exactly the encouragement I needed. In the midst of all the stress, I was inspired. In my struggle for self-confidence, I was reminded to stop and trust myself. I was given a glimpse of hope from someone I’d never met and will never meet again.

I still have that piece of paper hanging in my office today and I often look at it whenever I start to think I’m not capable of accomplishing a project of goal.

So why am I telling you this?

Two reasons.

1) Trust yourself… You know more than you think you do.

In those moments when it’s hard to see the forest through the trees, trust yourself.

2) Make art.

I’m not saying you have to be a good artist (I can’t draw a stick figure), but think about something that will make someone’s day beautiful and create it. It could be an encouraging letter, a lunch, or a conversation. Because you never know the impact you might have on the person on the receiving end.

As a leader, one of the most important things we can do is to encourage those in our sphere of influence. That could be your boss, your coworker, your intern, or the person sitting across from you in the coffee shop. We may never truly see the impact we make, but we also know that giving encouragement often does as much for the giver as it does for the receiver.

Do you have any personal stories of receiving random acts of kindness?

What are some other creative ideas you could do to provide encouragement to those who need it?

I think this is common.

At least, that’s what I tell myself. It makes me feel better about my trepidation.

My fear, though, wasn’t one of questioning my decision to get married. It wasn’t founded in questioning my bride-to-be. It wasn’t even in questioning the timing.

My “fear” found its way into my pocket because the step I was making was altering the trajectory of my life.

Ever had a decision like that?

Maybe it was in deciding which college to go to. Or a change in jobs. Or walking away from a relationship that you’ve treasured, but that was damaging to you personally. Maybe you felt that flutter in your gut when you bought a car. Or a house.

Maybe it was when you found out you were pregnant, and quickly realized you had no idea what it took to be a parent.

Fear

Fear is a natural emotion.

Let me quote a Scripture for you that you may have heard before:

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7

Reading this verse at face-value, you’re left thinking that any ounce of fear shows you to be anti-God. That it’s not something that is consistent with being called a child of the King. That if you experience fear, you show yourself weak and faithless and un-usable.

Let me throw a wrench in that thought process before you tread down that road much further.

The verse here says that God didn’t give us a “spirit” of fear. In other words, we aren’t dominated by fear. We’re not paralyzed by fear. And we don’t let fear hold us back. It won’t be our master. Instead, our spirit, our heart, is driven by power and love and self-control, rooted in an unchanging, unshakeable, courageous God who seeks after our heart even in the midst of the most difficult times in life.

The presence of fear doesn’t show you to be anti-God. It shows you to be human. Emotions aren’t inherently evil. How you respond to your emotions, though, reveals your heart.

And if your heart is driven by fear, you’ll never do anything that matters. On the precipice of doing significant work, fear will be present, trying desperately to course its way through your body.

Yielding to the Fear

In those moments, you can yield to the fear.

• “I can’t do that. I’ll fail.”
• “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
• “I don’t have that skill set.”
• “I’m not worthy of that.”
• “I could never sustain that.”
• “Me?”

Yield to that fear, step back off the precipice, and return to life as normal.

Or press through it, reminding yourself of who God has created you to be, and take the plunge. Remind yourself that God has given you a spirit of power and love and self-control. “Fear” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move forward. “Fear” may mean it’s time to trust God to do what He said He’d do.

Pressing through fear

Take a step of faith.

• Give up ______.
• Start a new ministry.
• Make that leadership decision.
• Begin serving your community.
• Have a difficult, awkward conversation.

Fear didn’t keep me from making the decision to marry my wife. It lit a fire in my heart to do what I knew God was calling me to.

Fear is normal. It means you’re human.

Don’t let it hold you from what God wants you to do. Satan would love that.

Instead, press through with resolve.

I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, or I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:9-10

Question:

What’s the biggest decision you’ve ever had to make? Did you have any hint of fear?

* image credit: Creative Commons user Jones DePalma

So, I bring the questions to you…

How has social media affected us? Has it been positive, negative, or a little of both? Are we truly more social now than we were before?

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

We (me included) talk a lot about philosophy of leadership and the ideals of life and leading.

We talk a lot about vision and moving people and building relationships.

We TALK….

A LOT.

Us younger leaders are especially good at this.
We’ve become acustomed to making ourselves and the work we’re doing sound much better and effective on twitter than it is to the people it’s touching.

We can spin things in coversations and in blogs to make it sound like we really have it all together… like we’re really crossing our ‘t’ and dotting our ‘i’.

But,

When it comes down to it,
it’s really about our ACTIONS.

They speak louder than our words or our status… in the end.

The way we’re building relationships,
the way we’re growing leaders behind and around us,
the way we’re infiltrating vision into the people we lead,
the way we conduct ourselves ethically.

That’s what really matters.

Reminding myself of that today…

reminding you of that today.

It’s really about what we DO.

What do you think? Why have we gotten good at making things sound better than they are? How can we put action to our words? How do you do it? 

The Ethics Resource Center recently released some really scary numbers about ethical misconduct in the workplace.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, there are approximately 155 million people legally eligible for employment in the U.S. As of April 6, 2012, the Department of Labor reported an unemployment rate of 8.2%, or 12.7 million unemployed workers. That leaves approximately 142.3 people currently participating in today’s workforce.

Of this 142.3 million people, 45% reported witnessing ethical misconduct in the workplace during 2011. That’s nearly half the current workforce, equated out to over 65 million people reporting ethical violations in today’s workplace.

65 Million Employees Reported Witnessing Ethical Misconduct in the Workplace in 2011

 Of these 65 million employees:

• 65% of them reported unethical behavior
• 34% say it was their managers who acted unethically (a record high)
• 22% of whistleblowers said they experienced retaliation
• 13% felt pressured to compromise their ethical standards to do their jobs

The reality is that opportunities for ethical misconduct surround us every day. These ethical dilemmas range from the decision of whether or not to take home office supplies to falsify information for shareholders. They may impact few or many, but ultimately, ethical conduct is ethical misconduct, and we are all accountable for the quality of the ethical decisions we make.

How do you approach ethical decision-making? What tools do you use to make sure you’re making ethical decisions as a leader?