As I sat there typing away at my computer, I noticed a girl sitting across from me constantly looking up. At first I thought it was just because I was typing to violently or looked stressed, but the more I looked up, the more I noticed her consistent glances.

Did I have something on my face? Did I know her but not recognize her? I couldn’t figure it out.

After about 20 minutes, she stood up and started packing her things. As she was leaving, she stopped beside my table. After introducing herself, she explained how she liked to do quick drawings of people whenever she worked at coffee shops. As she left, she laid down a piece of paper on the table.

It was exactly the encouragement I needed. In the midst of all the stress, I was inspired. In my struggle for self-confidence, I was reminded to stop and trust myself. I was given a glimpse of hope from someone I’d never met and will never meet again.

I still have that piece of paper hanging in my office today and I often look at it whenever I start to think I’m not capable of accomplishing a project of goal.

So why am I telling you this?

Two reasons.

1) Trust yourself… You know more than you think you do.

In those moments when it’s hard to see the forest through the trees, trust yourself.

2) Make art.

I’m not saying you have to be a good artist (I can’t draw a stick figure), but think about something that will make someone’s day beautiful and create it. It could be an encouraging letter, a lunch, or a conversation. Because you never know the impact you might have on the person on the receiving end.

As a leader, one of the most important things we can do is to encourage those in our sphere of influence. That could be your boss, your coworker, your intern, or the person sitting across from you in the coffee shop. We may never truly see the impact we make, but we also know that giving encouragement often does as much for the giver as it does for the receiver.

Do you have any personal stories of receiving random acts of kindness?

What are some other creative ideas you could do to provide encouragement to those who need it?

I think this is common.

At least, that’s what I tell myself. It makes me feel better about my trepidation.

My fear, though, wasn’t one of questioning my decision to get married. It wasn’t founded in questioning my bride-to-be. It wasn’t even in questioning the timing.

My “fear” found its way into my pocket because the step I was making was altering the trajectory of my life.

Ever had a decision like that?

Maybe it was in deciding which college to go to. Or a change in jobs. Or walking away from a relationship that you’ve treasured, but that was damaging to you personally. Maybe you felt that flutter in your gut when you bought a car. Or a house.

Maybe it was when you found out you were pregnant, and quickly realized you had no idea what it took to be a parent.

Fear

Fear is a natural emotion.

Let me quote a Scripture for you that you may have heard before:

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7

Reading this verse at face-value, you’re left thinking that any ounce of fear shows you to be anti-God. That it’s not something that is consistent with being called a child of the King. That if you experience fear, you show yourself weak and faithless and un-usable.

Let me throw a wrench in that thought process before you tread down that road much further.

The verse here says that God didn’t give us a “spirit” of fear. In other words, we aren’t dominated by fear. We’re not paralyzed by fear. And we don’t let fear hold us back. It won’t be our master. Instead, our spirit, our heart, is driven by power and love and self-control, rooted in an unchanging, unshakeable, courageous God who seeks after our heart even in the midst of the most difficult times in life.

The presence of fear doesn’t show you to be anti-God. It shows you to be human. Emotions aren’t inherently evil. How you respond to your emotions, though, reveals your heart.

And if your heart is driven by fear, you’ll never do anything that matters. On the precipice of doing significant work, fear will be present, trying desperately to course its way through your body.

Yielding to the Fear

In those moments, you can yield to the fear.

• “I can’t do that. I’ll fail.”
• “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
• “I don’t have that skill set.”
• “I’m not worthy of that.”
• “I could never sustain that.”
• “Me?”

Yield to that fear, step back off the precipice, and return to life as normal.

Or press through it, reminding yourself of who God has created you to be, and take the plunge. Remind yourself that God has given you a spirit of power and love and self-control. “Fear” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move forward. “Fear” may mean it’s time to trust God to do what He said He’d do.

Pressing through fear

Take a step of faith.

• Give up ______.
• Start a new ministry.
• Make that leadership decision.
• Begin serving your community.
• Have a difficult, awkward conversation.

Fear didn’t keep me from making the decision to marry my wife. It lit a fire in my heart to do what I knew God was calling me to.

Fear is normal. It means you’re human.

Don’t let it hold you from what God wants you to do. Satan would love that.

Instead, press through with resolve.

I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, or I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:9-10

Question:

What’s the biggest decision you’ve ever had to make? Did you have any hint of fear?

* image credit: Creative Commons user Jones DePalma

So, I bring the questions to you…

How has social media affected us? Has it been positive, negative, or a little of both? Are we truly more social now than we were before?

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

We (me included) talk a lot about philosophy of leadership and the ideals of life and leading.

We talk a lot about vision and moving people and building relationships.

We TALK….

A LOT.

Us younger leaders are especially good at this.
We’ve become acustomed to making ourselves and the work we’re doing sound much better and effective on twitter than it is to the people it’s touching.

We can spin things in coversations and in blogs to make it sound like we really have it all together… like we’re really crossing our ‘t’ and dotting our ‘i’.

But,

When it comes down to it,
it’s really about our ACTIONS.

They speak louder than our words or our status… in the end.

The way we’re building relationships,
the way we’re growing leaders behind and around us,
the way we’re infiltrating vision into the people we lead,
the way we conduct ourselves ethically.

That’s what really matters.

Reminding myself of that today…

reminding you of that today.

It’s really about what we DO.

What do you think? Why have we gotten good at making things sound better than they are? How can we put action to our words? How do you do it? 

The Ethics Resource Center recently released some really scary numbers about ethical misconduct in the workplace.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, there are approximately 155 million people legally eligible for employment in the U.S. As of April 6, 2012, the Department of Labor reported an unemployment rate of 8.2%, or 12.7 million unemployed workers. That leaves approximately 142.3 people currently participating in today’s workforce.

Of this 142.3 million people, 45% reported witnessing ethical misconduct in the workplace during 2011. That’s nearly half the current workforce, equated out to over 65 million people reporting ethical violations in today’s workplace.

65 Million Employees Reported Witnessing Ethical Misconduct in the Workplace in 2011

 Of these 65 million employees:

• 65% of them reported unethical behavior
• 34% say it was their managers who acted unethically (a record high)
• 22% of whistleblowers said they experienced retaliation
• 13% felt pressured to compromise their ethical standards to do their jobs

The reality is that opportunities for ethical misconduct surround us every day. These ethical dilemmas range from the decision of whether or not to take home office supplies to falsify information for shareholders. They may impact few or many, but ultimately, ethical conduct is ethical misconduct, and we are all accountable for the quality of the ethical decisions we make.

How do you approach ethical decision-making? What tools do you use to make sure you’re making ethical decisions as a leader?

You may not think of the golf course as a beaker for leadership testing, but there’s a ton to learn, besides how to hit it long and straight. Which, between you and me, is a task much harder than leadership. 

The leadership I’m putting into practice today is specific for pastoral leadership. At the end of the day, though, people are people. Being a leader takes on nuances from profession to profession, but there’s a ton of overlap.

10 Leadership Lessons I learned from Golf

1. Timing is everything.

Golf: The moment your wrist snaps, the club head releases, and your foot turns is crucial in getting any power.

Leadership: The moment you choose to have a key conversation is oftentimes just as important as the conversation itself.

2. What you do off the course is just as vital as what you do on the course.

Golf: Mentally prepping for a round is unbelievably important. “Golf is a game played on a 5 inch course – the distance between your ears.” – Bobby Jones

Leadership: The way you spend your time while you’re off-work builds your character way more than what you do while you’re working. Character is vital to leadership.

3. Practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.

Golf: It’s easy to practice-in bad habits and muscle memory.

Leadership: Read the wrong books, follow the wrong people, put your energy towards the wrong things, spend your time battling the wrong issues…and you may as well have not “practiced” at all.

4. Practicing a lot will leave you with a sore back.

Golf: Even practicing the right way will leave you sore.

Leadership: Making the right decisions doesn’t mean you’ll have a problem-free solution. It just means you know where you’re headed.

5. Community pushes you to dig deeper.

Golf: When I played with someone else, instead of by myself, I found I was more willing to dig deeper instead of giving up.

Leadership: Leading with a healthy team pushes everyone to do more gut-wrenching, high quality work.

6. You have to practice from the bunker in prep for the bad days.

Golf: Practicing from the bunker was vital, because it doesn’t matter who you are…there will be days when you have to blast a few out of the sand.

Leadership: Understanding your own weaknesses is a key to being a good team member and leader.

7. There will always be someone who’s better than you.

Golf: Don’t be intimidated when you play against someone better than you. Stick with your game. Dance with the girl you came with.

Leadership: You’ll have team members that you lead that are more skilled, think more sharply, and communicate more clearly. Thank God that He’s gifted your team with them.

8. There’s no substitute for time spent on the course.

Golf: Practice all you want, but don’t forget to spend time on the course.

Leadership: Everything you need to know about leadership you will NOT learn from college, or in a textbook.

9. Nobody will practice for you.

Golf: If you want to be a better golfer, you’ve got to put in the hard work yourself.

Leadership: If you want to be a better leader, you’ve got to read the books, find the mentor(s), test out ideas, and stretch the box yourself.

10. The days you practice by yourself are crazy important.

Golf: The days when you’d rather go home early are the days when you most definitely should not.

Leadership: There are certain things that can only be done by you, in your office, by yourself. Don’t neglect these tasks. They’re good for your resolve.

Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:25-28

Question:

Did I leave anything out?

* image credit: Creative Commons user Turbo Toddi 

The other day as I was driving down the road when a sir who was in a far greater hurry than myself, and every other driver within 35 miles, passed me on the right side and slipped in front of me. I do not like to be passed on the right side. I see myself as a relatively speedy driver, usually in a hurry just to get wherever I’m going… so, if you pass me you must be on a mission. As I reached in my glove box to retrieve the small paint ball gun I keep for driving occasions such as this, I read his license plate “2FAST2C.” I slowly dropped my paintball hand gun and my anger turned to pity.

It’s the last week of my college career and amidst final exams I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the past three years I’ve spent at Clemson. The only things I regret are the times when I was moving ’2FAST2C.’ In the last few weeks I’ve grown increasingly aware that one of the greatest things I wish I could master is being in the moment. I regret times that I was so focused on the exciting things to come that I overlooked the hurting people in front of me.

One of the ways I’ve been trying to remain where I am so to speak, is to simply be more thankful. “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” -1 Thessalonians 5:18. My job isn’t to look forward to more exciting days, my job is to be thankful for the day at hand.

Carpe diem is easier to post on Facebook than to actually accomplish, so how do you slow yourself down?

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. - Everett Dirksen

Are you flexible?

Not can you do a split or touch your toes, but are you flexible with those around you?

The truth is, none of us are the same. None of us are going to do things the same way as the other.
None of us are going to think the exact same way about about problem.
None of us are going to deal with people the exact same way.
None of us are going to see creativity in the same light.

The key as a leader?

To be bendy… to be flexible.

• Flexible with others when they react in a way we wouldn’t.
• Flexible when they do things differently than we would have.
• Flexible with our schedules.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are certain ‘moral’ things that we can’t give on, but other things we MUST.

Are you flexible?

To you accept the differences of those around you and those you lead and see those as strengths?

That’s bendy leadership.

What part does flexibility play in your leadership? How can we become more flexible? 

I am a firm believer in goal setting. I keep my goals – personal and professional – written down and in constant view. When I reach one goal, I cross it off and write another. To me, goal setting is about staying motivated and maintaining growth. It’s about making sure I keep moving forward and keep challenging myself to do bigger and better things.

Goals are like building blocks, building your life story and your character one goal at a time. Goal setting isn’t about just writing something down you want to do at some point in your future. The goals you set for yourself define what you are going to set your sights on accomplishing and act as a roadmap for your personal and professional development. Goals are not arbitrary, and developing your goal list is a task that requires a measure of strategy.

Your goal must be realistic and measurable.

You must be able to imagine and understand the goal. It should be consistent with your personal values system, and you must believe you have the physical and mental capacity to reach the goal. Reaching a goal should provide a challenge or provide an obstacle to overcome, but it must be realistically attainable. Goals should also be measurable, so you can measure progress moving toward or away from each goal. Keep your list of goals in sight, so that you can concentrate on results and stay motivated.

Your goal must be specific and attainable. 

Goals should not be in conflict with other major areas of your life, like family or personal values, and you must be able to achieve the goal yourself or gain the cooperation of others to help you. They should be specific and provide a simple explanation of what you’re trying to accomplish. Set goals in sequence so that as you achieve one goal you are on your way to achieving another. Keep pushing ahead.

Your goal must be desirable.

Finally, your goal must be something that you really want, is emotionally satisfying, or will better you in some way. It should offer you a reward when reached, even if that reward is personal fulfillment. It should be beneficial and facilitate growth. Choose a goal that will make you happy.

What are your goals? How do you stay motivated to keep moving forward to reach your goals?