Miller's Muse

How Will This Story Be Written?

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 04:17:00 +0000

As a general rule, I hate to use cliches, but I can't find a non-cliche way of saying that the world changed on 11 September, 2001. I spend a great deal of time thinking about the events of that day. I try to place those events in context - any context - to better understand their meaning. I'm not sure that I ever will.

It is often mentioned, especially at this time of the year, that nearly 3,000 people died as a result of the attacks that day. I cannot limit that tragedy to that number. If there is a way to quantify loss, I cannot limit it 3,000. I have to add the loss of life in Iraq, Afghanistan, and anywhere else in the world someone has died as a result of that day nine years ago.

One of my personal and literary areas of interest is Herman Wouk, author of the World War II novels The Caine Mutiny, The Winds of War, and War and Remembrance. In the two-novel set The Winds of War and War and Remembrance, Wouk examines not just the war, but America, even the world, through with a lens focused on one fictional family, a Navy family, and their associates, as they navigate through life in various settings during the war. The novels are historically accurate and do a wonderful job of capturing the essence of America in the early 1940s. Wouk spent thirteen years conducting research for these novels and did not publish the first one until over 25 years after the war. In the nearly 2,000 pages of these two novels, Wouk tells the story by carefully selecting scenes and even moments that best demonstrate the struggles of that era.

Someone will write the story of this era in novel form. It may be years from now, but someone will do it (Wouk is not the only person to have done this; many others have with varying degrees of success for other wars).

It seems to me like this novel about the first decade of the 21st century could begin in the aftermath of the attacks. It might include the return of baseball and air travel. It has to look at the emotional trauma of military deployments - the sadness of departure and the joy of returns. Obviously, the author has to deal with the tragic and staggering loss of life in Iraq and Afghanistan. Detainee abuse should be included as should the role of enhanced interrogation techniques. There might be a place for the feelings, thoughts, and emotions of the American people after every report of a plane crash (what was the first thing you thought when you heard about a plane in the Hudson River in January 2009?). What about the DC sniper in October of 2002? Scenes from Arlington Natational Cemetary? PTSD?

I ask you, what scenes and moments should be included in that novel?

Rituals of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 01:57:00 +0000

There are countless things in life that we all do on a regular basis. Many are small and trivial and many are large and significant. I have always been intrigued by the small rituals many if not most people engage in everyday. For some reason, I always put my left shoe on first. I don't know why. I just do. Chances are good that you have a ritual that is equally strange. Robert Fulgham wrote a book about this several years ago. I highly recommend that book. It is a fun read and a bit thought provoking.

This time of year it is hard to look past all of the rituals that we find ourselves involved in. Every year at this time we shop for school supplies (a ritual) to get kids ready for the new school year (another ritual). Vacations end. Older kids go off to college.

Of course traditions and rituals reign supreme at West Point. If something happens more than once here it automatically becomes not just a tradition, but a time honored tradition. This weekend saw several of those traditions with some new stuff mixed in.

Classes begin tomorrow so a new class of cadets was accepted into the Corps of Cadets on Saturday morning in a ritual knows as the "A-Day Parade." Parents came from all over the country and watched their children march out of the sallyports and onto the Plain then march into the formation of the Corps. Then, the Corps complete with its new members,marches back through the sallyports while the parents of the plebes stand and watch with a mix of pride and something else, I am sure. As I have driven around West Point the last couple of days I have seen several of the parents who are visiting for the weekend. They look at the monuments and the memorials. They stand in awe of the view of the Hudson River at Trophy Point. They try to take it all in while their son or daughter gets ready to begin something new. Something new in the midst of the tradition.

That is an interesting feature of some traditions and rituals - they continue on as if there is nothing new. But there always is something new in the midst of the old. The old tradition of accepting a new class of cadets. It is strangely interesting to me.

This seems like an incomplete thought. Actually it is an incomplete thought. I don't normally blog this way, but I suppose that I hope someone can help me develop this idea. If it's worth developing. What are some other traditions that mix old with new?

Steven

Another Long and Wonderful Roadtrip

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 02:04:00 +0000

Everyone who followed this blog last summer (when I was a more consistent blogger; a place I am trying to get back to) knows that the Millers took a very long and interesting vacation. That was such a great time that we decided to recreate it again this year on a smaller scale: 2 adults, 2 kids, and a chow in a truck for 10 days.

And I must say that it was every bit as good as last year. No, we did not spend a week at Disney. But we did see Niagara Falls, which is one of the most fascinating and amazing things I have ever seen. And we spent time with friends in Aurora, Illinois and family in downstate Illinois, which is something that used to take for granted and have missed a great deal.

It was wonderful to see the kids with their friends and cousins whom they haven’t seen in a year. It was wonderful to hear their screams of delight as the Maid of the Mist approached the falls. And it was more than wonderful to see Madelynn’s face as she stood at the feet of Abraham Lincoln at his memorial in Washington, DC. She has wanted to see Lincoln since she first heard about him last President’s Day and we finally made the trip. That was a life-highlight for me.

We had a few more moments in this trip that I will never forget. While in DC we went to Arlington National Cemetery. Carrie and I have been a few times and when we go we visit the grave of Chris Petty, a friend of ours killed in Iraq in 2006. This trip was different, though. You see, we went with his wife and son, who is Madelynn’s age. It was a surreal moment for me standing there at that grave with that group. One of the last time we were all together was Christmas 2004. We were all stuck in Texas unable to get out of town due to deployment preparation. The Pettys were kind enough to invite us over for dinner on Christmas Day. Chris made a wonderful meal and we had a great time with the kids. That day we were family.

And we were family still as we stood together in Section 60 of Arlington National Cemetery.

Later that evening we had the privilege of having dinner with another Army family that is like family to me. In Iraq 2003 and 2004 Klaudius and I shared a room, Christmas, stories, some tears, and fun. And today we share memories. And our wives come together with us as long-time friends.

Yes, it was another amazing trip for the Millers; making even more memories.

If I may suggest, sometime soon do something that you will never forget. You will thank yourself later.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

The Return Of The Muse

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 17:21:00 +0000

After a nearly-year-long- sabbatical from blogging, I have returned to this great forum. The last school year was a bit overwhelming for me as I reintegrated into Army life after two years of grad school and learned how be an English instructor. I am sure that some of those tales will come out in future blogs.

I now look forward to a more managed and controlled approach to life so that I can do things that I enjoy, like blogging. Also, I have picked up some new interests this year that I am sure will be fodder for blogs, as will the never ending fun that is life at the number one ranked university in the nation, according to Forbe's Magazine.

Feel free to comment, even critically. I enjoy stirring things up and having good discussion.

Welcome to my world.

Steven

Temporary Suspension of Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:11:00 +0000

For several reasons, I have not been a very good blogger lately. I will spare you the excuses, but, for anyone who might care, I promise to reengage the blogging world soon. Come back to see the new and improved Miller's Muse in a few weeks. Once I get through an inordinate amount of papers that must be graded, I will be a better blogger with a better blog site.

Thanks.

Steven

The Difference A Week Can Make

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 05:13:00 +0000

Last Saturday (3 October) was a strange day for me. I was in charge of the West Point English Department tailgate party scheduled to happen in conjunction with the Army-Tulane game at Michie Stadium. This is fine, but anyone who knows me knows that I dislike parties in the strongest possible way. I am certainly not the guy to put in charge of any social event, let alone a big annual one with a lot of tradition and expectations.

But, alas, due to the Army's insistence on assigning tasks by rank rather than interest, I put together a tailgate party.

And it actually turned out pretty well. Given the noon kickoff time, we needed to be open for business at 10:00 in the morning. That is fine, but who wants hot dogs at 10:00 in the morning? We suspected that number would be very few, so we (myself and those helping plan this event) decided to have a breakfast phase that included fruit, donuts, and fresh waffles. That's right, we had a waffle maker at the tailgate. It was a smash hit. All those present from 10:00 until 11:00 got a fresh waffle with fruit, powdered sugar, and syrup.

The plan was to switch to the lunch menu at about 11:00. We had hot dogs on the grill, chili in several crock pots, and turkeys in the fryer. Groceries a'plenty, to include a great deal of breakfast food left.

Fortunately for all, the West Point Spirit Band showed up at about 10:45. This group of about 30 cadets with instruments fell out of the flatbed truck they rode up on and put on a great show, just for our benefit. They played and danced their hearts out. The only right thing to do was to offer them some breakfast.

Cadets are funny. They attacked the food table. That was the first time I have watched a person put a chocolate covered donut on a plate, cover it with chili, and go after the whole things with a fork. It was incredible.

And so the day went. Lots of mingling with smart English folks with chili dogs and fried turkey in hand. The stadium was just a short walk up the hill. So close we could hear the roar of the crowd and the ground shook slightly with the firing of the cannons after Army scores. It was a delightful atmosphere. Until the end of the game.

With 11 seconds left, Alex Carlton, a sophomore (or yuk as we call them here) missed a game-winning 37-yard field goal. All of us at the tailgate could feel the wind leave the stadium up the hill and tucked into the trees. Though few people really expect West Point to win football games, when it is that close to happening, it does hurt a bit.

But this weekend was different. There was no English Department tailgate and Alex redeemed himself. Alex booted a 47-yard field goal in overtime to give the Black Knights their third win of the season.

I don't know Alex, but congratulations to him. Congratulations to the entire team. It was a good win for the Corpse.

Over the last week, Alex learned the agony of defeat and then the thrill of victory. In the midst of his lessons on life, I learned to get past the dread of parties and to actually have a good time at one.

This week should be a good week for my students. Mid-semester class and instructor assessments will be coming in this week. There is certain to be some funny stuff there.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

Junie B. Jones Goes to West Point

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:30:00 +0000

As I have blogged about before, getting college students, maybe particularly so West Point students, to take time out of their lives to reflect and write thoughts down in a journal is extremely difficult. This concept does not compute in their minds. They are extremely busy. Far busier than I ever was in college and I took 24 credit hours a semester for a year. Plebes are crazy busy. They have insane amounts of school work plus an extra-curricular schedule that makes my head spin. So, when do they have time to journal?

Recently I asked my students if they have Facebook pages. Most of them acknowledge that they do. I then asked them when they last updated their status. Few of them have updated since they got here. On 29 June.

So, to get them to sit down and write something reflective is difficult. We have time built into the syllabus to address this a bit later in the semester, but to get them on the right path and thinking about it, I introduced them to Junie B. Jones.

Junie is the character in a children's book series. I am not sure who the target audience is for the Junie B. Jones series, but Madelynn loves them.

I overheard Carrie reading to Madelynn a passage last weekend in which Junie writes in her journal. She said something like, "Writing problems in my journal helps me sort things out" (I don't remember the exact quote; Madelynn had to take the book back to the school library a few days ago). I read that passage in class along with excepts from Junie's journal.

And the plebes seemed to get it. At first they were confused. They didn't know if this was something serious or a joke. Plebes are very dualistic. It has to be one thing or another. Both of anything confuses them. This was both a joke and serious, so they were confused, but they eventually got the spirit of it. I think they are tracking.

I now have 65 journal entries to evaluate. This will most certainly be some good reading. Glimpses into the life of a plebe. It is a very strange, strange life.

Maybe next time I blog it will be about the weird shenanigans that happen when you put 4,000 really smart teen-agers together and take away all of their freedoms. Trust me, weirdness prevails.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

Thoughts from a West Point Classroom

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 03:06:00 +0000

We have just finished Week 5 of the "47 Month Experience" for the 1,300 freshman that we call "plebes" at the United States Military Academy. It is called the "47 Month Experience" because the Plebes arrive in June of a given year to begin their military training go through all four academic years and leave May 4 years later.
Somewhat like the plebe’s and their 47 month experience, I am living what I call the "35 Month Experiment" because that is how long I will be here and it does seem a bit experimental to have me teaching English. But I digress.
This experience has been eye opening for me and eye closing for the plebes. These kids cannot stay awake in class. They are amazingly busy throughout their day. They have their first formation at 5:30 in the morning and are on the go from that moment until the end of their day. At 11:30 that night. They have classes all day and do not have the freedom to skip a class. There are dramatic consequences for missing class, so it is not even considered. After class, all cadets are involved in some sort of competitive physical activity. I have students that are on the football team, track team, crew team, shooting team, and every other team that you can imagine. So they are tired. All the time. And I get them after lunch. For their last class of the day. Just before their sports activity. In a hot, windowless classroom. They have no chance to stay awake.
A couple of weeks ago I had a cadet ask me a question in class. As a good instructor, I answered her question by looking directly at her. As I answered her question, I watched her eyes glaze over and her mind slip into unconsciousness. It was somewhat eerie.
But occasionally I see something that makes it worthwhile or something like that. As I was making a point in class a couple of weeks ago (I had the classroom door open because it was so hot in the room, but slightly cooler in the hall), someone jumped, literally jumped into my classroom. He stood in the doorway glancing into the hall with a sense of urgency. It was a cadet from another class somewhere in the fairly large building. I asked him what was going on. He answered that his military science class was conducting a raid on another room in the building. As he said this, I saw several other cadets running through the hall. I asked the cadet in my doorway if there was anything that we could do to help him in his endeavors. He said no and quickly ran out of the room following his buddies. Only at West Point.
Over the last couple of weeks I have been trying to get my students to write in a journal. Nothing significant – just thoughts on paper. I don’t care what they write. Just as long as they don’t threaten to kill me, themselves, or others in their journals. I do not know how to make this point any plainer. Yet, there is not a week that goes by that a cadet does not ask me how and what to write in their journal. So, today it was time to bring in reinforcements.
Junie B. Jones.
Junie keeps a journal documenting her experiences in 1st grade. I took a Junie B. Jones book to class yesterday and today and had her explain, in her own words, the benefits of keeping a journal.

Their first graded journal entry is due to me on Monday. We will see what happens.
Only at West Point.

11 September 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 02:13:00 +0000

We all have stories that we can, and sometimes do, share about 11 September 2001. I enjoy listening to those stories because, to me, they are a glimpse into the world view of the person telling the story. That day shaped all of us in some way and to hear someone tell their story from that day is to hear how their life, as it is today, was shaped.

This September 11th is different for me. Of the eight times we have marked the events of 2001, I have been at Fort Sill for one, Fort Hood for two, Chicago for two, Iraq for two, and now New York for one. This year, because of the fact that I am physically closer to the site and have been there to see it, I have probably been more reflective than most.

Until this year the attack has always been “there” to me. Now, I am here. Now I know people who were here. Our neighbor, whose daughter gets on the bus with Madelynn every morning, taught in a 4th grade classroom in Queens on that day in 2001. A colleague of mine taught undergraduate English at a college across the river in New Jersey. Several others of my colleagues were at West Point on that day in 2001. I have heard some of the stories from people who were here, who saw the smoke, who escorted kids out of classrooms under a canopy of smoke and ash.

This evening we went to a memorial service for five fire fighters from our local town who were killed in the towers. It seemed like most of the town came out to the local park to stand in the cold and the rain to pay tribute to those five men. This town, rightfully, takes great pride in and appreciate the sacrifice of those men. I did not know these men nor do I know their families and friends. Yet I felt a stronger connection with this town just by being there.

Not only am I physically closer to the site where the tragedy took place, but I have the high privilege and honor of teaching those who will one day soon actively participate in the aftermath of what happened that day. It humbles me to think of the sacrifice these young men and women are making. As I told them in class today, some of us where already in the Army in 2001 and were committed to whatever they Army would have for us. These kids came here knowing what awaits them. They are amazing.

This evening I visited the grave of a mentor and friend of mine who is buried at West Point. He was killed in Iraq. Another victim of the attacks of 2001. I have spent a great deal of time today thinking about many other friends of mine killed in Iraq. And thinking about their kids. In fact, I have thought about the kids a lot today. My kids, and countless others, have never known life outside the shadow of the tragedy of September 2001. It will be years before they experience life without the burden of war. That is another element of the ongoing horror that is September 11th 2001.

Each of the last eight September 11th anniversaries we see and hear some variant of the idea “Remember.” Those of us old enough to know first-hand what happened that day will not forget. I have to believe that would be impossible. Maybe it is possible, but I certainly hope not. My concern is what the next generation will be told and know about this. It is insufficient for us to remember. We must tell our children.

1st Day of First Grade

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 01:43:00 +0000

Yes, I still blog. Certainly in my mind I do. Maybe not where you can read it, but I do blog.

So, today was the first day of school for Madelynn in her new world of New York. I really thought that it would be easier for me this year than it was last year because of the whole experience thing. How much harder can it to take your daughter to first grade than it was to take her to kindergarten?

Enter the variable: The School Bus.

We planned for Carrie to take Madelynn to school each day and pick her up. The school is about six miles away - a bit farther than the 1/4 mile at our old house in Illinois, but certainly do-able. However, at the new student orientation last week we found out that it is a hassle (in a good way) to pick up your kids at the end of the day. You cannot pull up in front and have the teacher put them in the car for you as happened in Illinois. No, for security reasons you have to come in the building and sign your child out. Fine. If you don't have a baby in a car seat to tote in and out. In the cold/rain/snow/whatever else might come.

Furthermore, Madelynn wanted to ride the bus.

So, today we put her on the bus.

In doing so, we lost all credibility in teaching a lesson about safety to our daughter. We have always told her to not talk to strangers and never get in a vehicle with a stranger. But today we told her to get in a strange vehicle driven by a strange man, (an old guy with long hair, beard, tattooes, and a Harley-Davidson t-shirt) go to a building that she had never been in before, to find a woman (her teacher) whom she has never seen before.

But she made it home safe and sound. This evening I heard all about her day at first grade. I know that Mr. Bill (the bus driver is cranky), Ms. Hughes (the teacher) is very nice, and the cafateria lady has bigger muscles than I do.

She also told me that the girl in the bus seat behind her was kicking her seat so she turned around and told her, "Stop kicking my seat or I will beat the Sam Hill out of you." I have no idea where that came from, but in some ways I like it. I dare Mr. Bill to mess with her.

This has the makings of a great school year.

Now, I must go and do my homework. Madelynn and I will be comparing stories each night: first graders and plebes. They cannot be terribly dissimilar.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

I'm Still Here...

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 02:07:00 +0000

Lately I have been a failure in the blogging department. It just seems like nothing bloggable has happened over the last week or so. Things have been pretty hectic around here trying to get settled into our house and job so I have no had the opportunity to really reflect and come up with interesting, or weird, thoughts on the topics of the day. In the absence of a thought-provoking topic, I will list some of the activities of the last few days.

- We unpacked boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. Large numbers of boxes.

- We all got library cards at the local library. The Washingtonville, NY library is a neat little place on the National Historic Registry. We love our library.

- We are getting settled into our new church. It is a great church with wonderful people and sickeningly talented musicians.

- I moved into my office at work. I have a great office-mate. We are going to get along very well.

- I got my 10-year tetenus shot today. They nurse told me what kind it was because whoever gives me my next one will need to know. Huh? In 10 years? I will put that in my phone as a reminder. Whatever.

Those are the highlights. I will probably have some sort of strange thoughts about something soon. Until then, I hope everyone is enjoying their summer.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

Rambling Thoughts On Our New Life

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 02:58:00 +0000

So, here we are in New York.

This has been a long time in coming. I first inquired about the possibility of coming to West Point in the summer of 2004. I found out that we were selected to come here in the fall of 2006. And now here we are.

The vacation is over. It was a great time for the family. We were able to see and do things that we will remember forever. I reconnected with friends I had not seen in years. We spent time with both of sets of my grandparents, my aunt, and my uncle and his family. We visited a beach, Sea World, and Disney. Lots of Disney. We saw most of the eastern half of the United States. Here are a few tips or suggestions for anyone with large travel plans:

- Stay at Holiday Inn Express. We stayed there in five different locations and never had a bad experience. Free breakfast and newspaper each day, nice people, and you are infinitely smarter when you wake up there each morning.

- Do not try to drive 1,200 miles straight through. My attempt to save the cost of hotel was a good idea in the planning process, but not so good in execution. We saved no time because of the frequent stops along the way and I spent the cost of a hotel on snacks and drinks attempting to keep myself awake.

- If you have more than one kid on such a trip, have separate video players for each one. Our greatest source of kid-fussing was because of the video player. We have a unit with two screens, but both have to play the same video. Even at 1, Wesley gets bored with Hannah Montana. I thought I was the only one.

- If going to Disney with kids, put aside the money to have a meal with the characters at some point. It was amazing to see Madelynn's face light up every time a princess came to our table. Worth every penny.

I could go on, but there are too many to list here. If anyone has questions about the adventure, let me know. I am glad to impart whatever we learned.

But back to the present.

For the next few days we will be unpacking boxes, finding our way around, inprocessing, registering for school and the summer reading program at the library, and all of the other things involved with moving to a new town. It is absolutely beautiful here. We love our house and the surrounding area. Deer and other wildlife regularly hang out in our yard. This is very new to us suburbanites. The mountains are gorgeous. It is amazingly quiet.

It is not Aurora, but it will be all right for the next few years. To all of our friends in Aurora, this is your vacation spot. Your guest room will be ready in a few days. There is much to see and do here so come and visit until we can get back there.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

On Independence Day and Anniversaries

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 02:05:00 +0000

Independence Day is my favorite holiday of the year.

Clarification is required: I believe that the birth and resurrection of Christ are the two most significant occasions that we celebrate throughout the year, but I admit that I am do not care for the commercialization of those holidays (how did a bunny become involved in Easter?). For those occasions, I separate in my mind the holiday from the occasion because the holidays involve rituals that have little to do with the occasion. For Independence Day, the holiday, rituals, and celebrations are all tied together.

Independence Day is purely American. It is an opportunity for people to get together and do American things - anything you want. Big party at the lake or family grilling in the yard. Fireworks or not. Whatever you want or don't want to do is perfectly fine on July 4th. And that is why I love it. It is the All-American day.

And on this 4th of July I honor everyone who has ever taken part of in securing our nation's freedom and independence in any way. Thank you for what you do.

Not only is this the weekend we celebrate our nation's independence, but it is also the weekend that I celebrate ten years of marriage to the love of my life.

Ten years.

It has been amazing. Lots of time apart. As much time as possible together. Two incredible kids. Five moves. Lots of laughs. A few tears. And I would not trade one second of it.

I have had the great good fortune of marrying my best friend. Very few people, probably no one, would be able to put up with me and my ways for this long. Carrie deserves a medal for this occasion.

We had discussed going to Hawaii for our 10th anniversary. That did not happen. Instead, we will be moving into our new house. Not very romantic by any standard, but we will get by. We have a mutual promise to each other to celebrate our 20th anniversary in grand fashion.

Carrie, just as ten years ago, you are the love of my life. Thanks for sticking with me. I love you more than you know.

Steven

On Michael Jackson

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 05:04:00 +0000

I am sure that he did not create or cause his own death (at least not intentionally), so in that sense, his death is a tragedy, but I cannot help but believe that the greater tragedy in the Michael Jackson story is not his death, but rather the way he lived his life.

I have had the great good fortune of driving ten hours with my XM radio scanning the coverage of the Jackson death. I have heard every bit of news from every angle available to this point. I have heard the commentary, the facts, the speculation, and the memorializing of the man.

There is no doubt that he altered the music world. The man did amazing things on stage and in the recording studio. As a musician, it is impossible for me to minimize his impact on the world of music. As a follower of most things cultural, it is impossible for me to downplay the tremendous impact he has had on most, if not all, aspects of our popular culture.

But I admit that I am confused and maybe a bit dismayed by the outpouring of affection that I hear on the radio, read about on internet news sites, and on Facebook. By most accounts, Michael Jackson did very little right in his life off the stage. He died with nearly immeasurable debt. He did not chose good people to surround himself with, otherwise he probably would have made better financial, medical, and other personal decisions. If he had good friends and acquaintances, they would have told him, and found a way to make him see, that it was not a good idea to have the relationships with boys that he had. Even with his acquittal, his relationships were out of line. I guarantee that me writing that will get people all fired up to defend him and say that he was never convicted of anything. To those people I ask you one question:

Would you let your kids hang out with him?

I have read many people write that we should all be concerned and interested because he is a son, brother, and father. He has a soul that deserves concern.

To those people: NEWSFLASH! Other fathers of three died yesterday.

I know it is may not be right to compare the death of a celebrity with the death of a non-celebrity. Celebrity events impact more people. That is the nature of celebrity.

What bothers me about all of this is the high-and-might sanctimonious attitude that I see in some circles. These are the people (and you know who you are) who are shocked and saddened by the death of Michael Jackson but do not give a first thought, let alone a second one, to the death of a father of three killed by an IED in Iraq or Afghanistan. They tell the world that we should be concerned for his soul (and we should) but they do not take one minute to scan the obituaries in their own local paper to see who in their own community died the previous day. They won't cry out against abortion on Facebook, but will post about the tragedy of Michael Jackson.

The bottom line is that Michael Jackson was cool. Or at least his music was cool. We all liked, and still do like, listening to it. Unfortunately most people confuse his coolness with character and that is problematic.

Last night, the night of Jackson's death, as I watched the never ending string of breaking news about this story, my six-year-old daughter wanted to know what all the fuss was about. As the TV showed old video of people crying and passing out at his concerts, she wanted to know why. She wanted to know why his face looked different in every picture. She wanted to know why he died.

The best that I could come up with was that, despite his enormous talent, Michael Jackson was not a happy man. He was not happy with what he looked like, so he changed his appearance. He was not happy with what he had, so he bought more of everything. She asked me if he had any friends. I told her that he probably did not have any good friends otherwise he might not have been in the situations he was in. I did not tell her that instead of seeking out good friends, he had little boys sleep over and have cookies and milk. Even Madelynn would know that is weird despite the acqittal.

Call me a curmudgeon. Tell me that I am insensitive. Whatever. But character does matter. Some things are important and others are not. In light of all of Jackson's issues in life, dancing was not terribly important.

Let the hate commentary begin.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

On Toll Booths and Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 03:10:00 +0000

I am learning that over the course of three weeks of travel a lot of things can happen. Most of them have happened to us. Let me tell you about toll booths and friends.

Sunday evening I drove from the Disney area to Ocala, Florida to meet a friend of mine (more on that in a moment). I put the address of the restaurant that we were meeting at in to the GPS and away I went. The problem is that Florida has a lot of toll roads. Fine. So does Chicago. I have an I-Pass transponder in my truck that is good on most every toll road in the nation. The problem is that it does not work in Florida. So when I arrived at my first toll booth Sunday evening, I had not cash. No worries, I thought. There will be phone number I can call as soon as I pass the booth and pay over the phone. Even Illinois offers that convenience. Not so in Florida. The toll booth operator gave me an IOU. A slip of paper saying that I have ten days to buy a money order for $1.25 and mail it to the address listed on the slip. The operator took my drivers license to gather the necessary data and asked me to pull forward so she could get my plate number. Of course, after she recorded my plate data, she opened the gate and told me to go ahead. Of course I did that. Of course she still had my drivers license. Of course I did not know this until I got back to my hotel much later that nght.

The next morning I called the Florida Turnpike Authority for two reasons: 1) to see if I could pay my toll over the phone and 2) to see where my license was. Somehow in the 21st century in the state of Florida it is not possible to pay for something over the phone or online. Fortunately, my license was still at that toll booth.

Fine, but I had no idea where that toll booth was. I went through about six different toll booths that night (I stopped to get cash) and, thanks to the lack of thought and attention required due to the GPS, I had no idea where the first one was. Fortunately, the person I spoke with on the phone at the Turnpike Authority was able to give me the address to the booth. That night, after a day at Disney's Hollywood Studies theme park, I drove 40 miles to the toll booth and 40 miles back to get my license. Stopping at that toll booth has cost me $1.25 for the toll, $.49 for a money order, $.44 for a stamp, five gallons of gas at $2.63 a gallon, and an hour and a half of my life. Not the highlight of this road trip.

Other occasions have been highlights. I blogged last week about spending time with Deb and her boys, friends of ours in Tampa. The friend I went to Ocala to visit on Sunday is a childhood friend. Abe and I grew up with each other. We are six months apart in age. We went to school together for several years and church together all of our lives until I joined the Army and he moved to Gainesville, Florida. Both of those events happened when we were 20. We may have seen each other a time or two in the year after those two events, but certainly not after that. Back then, there was no Facebook and we did not have e-mail. Years passed and we lost touch with each other.

Over the years I have often thought about Abe. I have tried to track him down a few times, but never really followed up with any of the leads. Last week, out of the blue and while I was in Florida, I was given a phone number at which I may be able to reach Abe. I called it and left a message. A while later, my phone rang and it was Abe. It has been a wonderful experience catching up with him.

Today I had the great good fortune of meeting one of the Soldiers that I had the privilege to command in Iraq. Chris has since gotten out of the Army and living here in the Orlando area. It was great to spend time with him catching up with each other and reminiscing about life "back in the day." This meeting solidified my belief that I need to join the VFW so I can do this more often.

I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute of this vacation (except for the second trip to the toll booth). Getting together with old friends has been some of the most memorable times of the vacation.

Another memorable time comes tomorrow at Epcot, which I have learned stands for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow. There is your trivia question for the day. We have lunch reservations at the Norwegian castle with the Disney princesses. This is going to be interesting. Madelynn is going to be out-of-her-mind excited and Wesley is going to be shamelessly flirting with the princesses. There will be countless photo opportunities. Stay tuned for the pictures and the stories.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

Father's Day 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 05:25:00 +0000

With the transient nature of my life right now, this has been a unique Father’s Day. To me, Father’s Day is not like Christmas or Thanksgiving when the expectation is to be with as much of the extended family as possible. Sometimes for those holidays it is like a race to get to all of the various family gatherings. But not so with Father’s Day. If you have small kids, that is all you need to have a wonderful day.

Which is what I had today, so it was perfect.

However, on top of the benefit of having the day with my wife and kids, I had the high privilege of going to church with my grandma in Apopka, Florida. Grandma and Grandpa Miller are the two finest people I have ever known. One of my greatest regrets is that I have not known them well enough. They moved to Florida from Illinois, where I grew up, when I was quite young and we did not have the opportunity to see them as often I now wish we had.

Grandpa died in September of 2007. At that funeral and the days both before and after I saw the tremendous impact my grandpa had on the lives of those around him. Grandpa was an assistant pastor in a large church in Apopka and the church was completely packed for his funeral. At the funeral, the pastor of the church, a close friend of grandpa’s said two things that I will never forget. One is that his children, both in the mid-twenties, I believe, had never known a world without Wesley Miller and that the new world would take time to get used to. The other is that grandpa was a man who went about doing good. To me, those two statements were the most meaningful and highest compliments possible.

Today, as we walked into that church, for the first time since the funeral, the team of ushers and greeters met us at the door. None of them knew we were coming. None of them know me at all; I do not go there often enough for anyone to remember or know me. But, after the greeter welcomed us and told us her name, when I told her my name, her face lit up. She immediately connected me with my grandma and grandpa and it was as if we were close friends despite the fact that I had never met this woman before in my life, that I know of. After the service, countless people greeted me and as I told them my name, every one of them connected me with my grandpa.

It was gratifying and humbling at the same time. The weight and power of my heritage overwhelmed me this morning. On this Father’s Day I saw first hand the importance and impact of consecutive generations of strong, godly, and fatherly leadership. Thanks dad and grandpa. You have been the example that I try to model in raising Madelynn and Wesley.

The One Thing Disney Does Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 02:30:00 +0000

Possibly stirring up the pot of controversy today.

Anyone who has read this blog or my Facebook comments recently knows that I love Disney World. I know of no other place that offers family entertainment like Disney. It is amazing what these people do. The attention to every detail is incredible. In the few times I have come to Disney World, there has not been one time that I have said, "I wish they did this differently," or "They could have done this better."

Disney specializes in suspending disbelief. When you enter the parks, it is very easy to forget that there is a world outside of the world of Disney. There are very few clocks. Unless you wear a watch (which I rarely do) you have to go out of your way to find out the time. It is part of the process. Time does not matter. The grass and shrubbery is always beautiful and perfect. Yet you never see anyone working to maintain it. There is never a light out; never so much as a nick in the paint of a handrail. They must have an army of people working all night every night to conduct maintenance on everything.

Everything at Disney is a performance. Even the rides are operated by "characters" who are trained in making you believe that you are in another place. And the shows are unbelievable. The 3D shows will blow your mind and the live performances will do more than that (I saw two shows today at Animal Kingdom that I am not sure if I could adequately describe; they were incredible performances). Everything that Disney does is Disney good. Certainly there are other specific events and attractions that are entertaining in various ways--a day at a national park or somewhere else would be entertaining in its own way--but Disney sets the standard in all around family entertainment.

That being said, there is one thing that that Disney has wrong and it has caused me pause this week. Many of the attractions at some of the parks have an educational, or at least informative, bent to them. Many of those involve nature and the environment. All are good things, but they (whoever that is) clearly push an agenda that completely removes God from the equation. In a really spectacular (at least in terms of effects and “coolness”) show about energy, where it comes from, and how it is used, the Big Bang is presented as fact. There is no other alternative. In other shows the audience is told that we must do our part to support nature from bugs and sharks to grasses and trees.

That is fine and good, and I am in danger of sounding like I do not care about taking care of nature. Quite the contrary: I very much understand the necessity of being a good steward of what God has given us. I also understand that God gave man dominion over all “the fish..., the fowl..., the cattle, and...all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:26). All of those things are here for the use of mankind.

According to the message broadcast at the Disney theme parks, humanity is only a small part in the “circle of life.” Each other element is as important as the others, including mankind. That seems to be to be in direct contrast to the Bible.

I am not at all suggesting a boycott of Disney or anything like that. I only suggest that anyone who believes that the Bible is true, that God is part of the equation, and that mankind is more than a small slice of the “circle of life” it is necessary to be vigilant against this kind of teaching; which is exactly what it is. If the child of a follower of Christ came home from school saying that they learned that the Big Bang is reality and that mankind is on the same level as a bug or a wetland in the big cosmic picture, the parents would rally their pastor to write letters to the school board requesting changes in the curriculum or excuse from class. Yet, we will take our kids to Disney and expose them to the same thing and not say anything because it is “entertainment.”

I am not suggesting that the former approach is wrong. All I suggest is to maintain the same vigilance outside the classroom as inside. Again, I do not suggest not going to Disney. I think most Christians prefer that professional athletes go to church on Sunday rather than play their sport, but that does not keep s from following (or even attending) their games. Several years ago I heard a youth leader say, “Chew up the meat and spit out the bone.” He said it in reference to somewhat similar topic. I have come to realize that Disney is one of those things that must be seen for what it is: entertainment with an ungodly slant. Our children (and even adults) can get so wrapped up in the quality of the presentation that it clouds judgment and the message penetrates unknowingly. This message that Disney perpetuate is already in all of the schools. It is being taught to the college graduate students who will soon be teaching your kids who are in elementary, middle, and high school where it is dry, boring, and forced. But when they see it presented by big-name entertainers with the Disney logo and with Disney quality, it takes on new meaning and new life.

Christians, be aware and be vigilant.

Thoughts?

Thanks for reading.

Steven

In Search of Excellence

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:44:00 +0000

I know that the title of this blog is also the title of a best selling 20-year-old business/management book by Thomas Peters and Robert Waterman. I do not claim this title as my own; it just fits the point of this blog and I give all credit to the authors of the excellent book. I have read it and recommend it to anyone involved in running or managing a business.

But before we get to the meat of the discussion on excellence, a quick vacation update (this will tie in to excellence, I promise).

We went to the Magic Kingdom today. 13 hours of non-stop Mickey fun. The kids did exceptionally well. Much longer and Madelynn would have revolted, but we planned the day well enough that that was not necessary. Wesley is young enough to not care one bit where he is at. He is too small to ride most of the rides, but the ones he did ride, he seemed to enjoy. But he is a dude, so he enjoys most everything anyway. Madelynn, on the other hand, seems to go way out of her way to look for things to fuss about. This is her third trip to Disney in her six years of life. Each time we go through the same drill: "No, Madelynn, this show is not scary." Yes, Madelynn, this ride is in the dark, but you will survive." She tends to freak out about most everything. I have tried to help her get past these things this week by dragging her into deeper water in the Gulf, by coaxing her onto the slide at the hotel pool, and today, by dragging her into and onto things that are well outside her comfort zone. In each case, she comes out wanting to do it again. She rode the Big Thunder Mountain roller coaster three times! Her confidence and bravery is going up every day.
I do not care one bit if my kids grow up to like roller coasters, or 3-D movies, or small boat trips through dark buildings with plastic characters dancing as entertainment. I want them to know that they can get past their initial fear of something and live to tell about it and possibly enjoy it. Too me, that seems to be a more preferable way to get through life than being paralyzed by fear.

Such a life is closer to “excellent” than a life shrouded in fear of any sort. (Here is the connection with the title.)

For the last several weeks, even few months, I have thought a great deal about excellence. What is it? How can I achieve it? Do I need to achieve it? Is it achievable? How far from excellent am I in various aspects of my life? I have been disappointed, not just in my personal performance in some areas, but my lackadaisical attitude towards my performance. This has concerned me. To feed this line of thought, over the last few days I have been reading a book for my church’s minister training program about character and the role character plays in everyday life and how to achieve high character. According to this book, character is far more than “doing the right thing, even when no one is looking.” (You can read the book, if you are interested in the details; Louder Than Words by Andy Stanley). Though the topic of the book is character, not necessarily excellence, this book has answered a lot of questions I had about excellence and generated a lot more. It seems to be impossible to have good, high character without a desire for it. A desire for something better. A desire for...personal excellence.

While at Magic Kingdom today, I had a few minutes to read this book about character while Carrie and Madelynn are off riding the flying Dumbo ride and Wesley was taking a nap. While reading in those few minutes, I had an epiphany. As I read this book about character, surrounded by various characters (Disney types and tourist types), I realized that it is the characters, or cast, that makes Disney excellent. All Disney employees are considered cast members, or characters; not just the ones with big ears that people line up to see. The people who operate the rides are in costume and are characters. The people who park cars wear a certain costume and are characters. Even the people who clean the bathrooms and collect the trash wear are considered cast members, or characters, at Disney. It is because of these people, these characters, that Disney is an excellent place to visit.

I have not worked through all of the details of this line of thought. I have not even finished this book. But I am now convinced, after a day at the Magic Kingdom and an off the wall and fatigue-induced revelation, that high character and excellence are closely related. Both can be achieved. Both are essential in order to be successful in life. Both are what God expects of us. Which is reason enough to always strive for both.

Thoughts?

Thanks for reading.

Steven

Lunch and Some Pool Time

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 01:24:00 +0000

Lunch came before pool time today, but I am going to discuss pool time first.

This afternoon we traveled from Tampa to the Disney area to continue our mother-of-all-vacations. After we checked into our hotel (where I am not the Guest of the Day, as I was at the hotel in Tampa), we hustled the kids down to the pool. I admit that my motives may not have been pure. Sure I wanted the kids to have a good time in the pool, but I really wanted to wear them out so they would go to bed early and sleep all night because we are going to Magic Kingdom tomorrow. Once at the pool area, we discovered the large water slide. Very cool. Of course, Madelynn would have nothing to do with it without a fair amount of prodding, but eventually she and I went down together. She was so excited that she wanted to go by herself. Then tragedy struck: she fell down and skinned her shin climbing the steps to the top of the slide. Based on her reaction, the casual observer would think there was a repeat of the Hindenburg disaster.

The good news is that Madelynn did eventually master the slide. She climbed up and down those wet steps, slide down the slide, and swam her way through the waterfall at the end all by herself.

While I was working on Madelynn's confidence on the slide. Carrie made Wesley into a swimmer. Yesterday at Clearwater Beach, Wesley was not a swimmer. He wanted nothing to do with the water. But today was a different matter. Wesley even went down the water slide with me. It has been a couple of banner days for Miller kid confidence.

But before the pool time, there was lunch. We met with a close friend of ours and her two boys, Oliver and Owen. We have not seen Deb or the boys for a couple of years. Not since they moved to Tampa from Texas. Deb's husband, Chris, and served together in our first deployment to Iraq in 2003-2004 and we commanded together before deploying to Iraq in 2005 and for the first few weeks of that deployment. Chris was killed on January 5th, 2006. Both the boys were very young when Chris was killed; Owen just a few weeks old.

Since Chris was killed, Deb has written a book and led the charge on many fronts to ensure that Soldiers killed in combat are properly recognized.

As I sat with Deb, Oliver, and Owen, I was humbled. As I sat there, on vacation, with my two kids, I thought about Chris and what he is missing. As I watched those boys color on their menus I thought about what they were missing. I thought about how fortunate I am.

And I sat in awe of this woman who has withstood far more pain than I think I could ever bear. And I sat in awe of those two boys who both have visible traits of their dad and who have already, at the ages of 6 and 3, carried more burden than I have.

Deb, Oliver, and Owen, I honor and respect all of you. You will always be very special to Carrie, Madelynn, Wesley, and me. It is easy to say that the nation owes you a debt of gratitude for your sacrifice. Though that is true, it is insufficient. I and my family owe you a debt of gratitude that we can never repay. We love you.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

The Beginning of an Adventure

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 08:09:00 +0000

On Saturday afternoon, June 13th, the Millers of northern Illinois began a new phase of life. After the emotional farewells of the previous week, we left for New York by way of Florida and Virginia. We have friends and family whom we have not seen in quite some time in each of these places so it seemed appropriate to take time, while I have time available, to visit these folks. So we are.

Those of you who keep up with me on Facebook know that we are driving this entire journey. Needless to say, this is a long, long road trip. It is the kind of road trip that is best measured in number of oil changes rather than number of miles.

This trip has already been worthwhile. I learned that I can survive 24 straight hours (that's how long it took to complete the leg from Chicago to Tampa; we made several pit/rest stops along the way) in a pick-up truck with the wife, kids, and dog. I also learned that I have no desire whatsoever to love in Florida. This place is frighteningly humid. Madelynn learned that she can swim in deep, salty water if she remains calm. Wesley learned that he does not like wet sand between his toes. Carrie learned that there can be black ice on the interstate. In Georgia. In June. Another story for later.

Tomorrow we will have lunch with some good friends of ours. We will do the whole Disney thing in the coming days. This is bound to be a good time for and with Madelynn and Wesley (as long as there is no wet sand) and it could get a bit emotional at times. More on that later.

I will try to add a little something, and maybe a lot of something, each day during this voyage in my attempt to capture not just the activities but the spirit of a family in transition.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

Hail and Farewell

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 06:01:00 +0000

WARNING: THIS BLOG IS LONGER THAN USUAL. IF YOU ARE NOT FROM AURORA, PARTICULARLY THE FIRST APOSTOLIC CHUCH OF AURORA, IT MAY NOT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU. IF YOU ARE IN THAT GROUP, IT MIGHT. THIS BLOG IS FULL OF EMOTION.

The Army is very rich in tradition. One of those traditions is the "Hail and Farewell." Periodically, the officers of a unit and their wives get together in a casual, social setting for an evening to welcome new officers and their families to the unit and to say goodbye to officers and their families who are soon to depart. The new arrivals have an opportunity to introduce themselves and tell where they have been and what they have done in the Army and begin the process of forming new bonds of friendship. The departing officers have the opportunity to thank people who have impacted them during their time in the unit and say farewell to the group. A good Hail and Farewell is always emotional with a lot of laughs and a lot of tears.

It is now time for us to leave the Aurora area, so it is time for a Hail and Farewell.

Two years ago we moved to the Aurora so I could go to school at Northern Illinois University. We had no way to know at that time how much this move would impact our lives individually and as a family. We did not know that it was possible to form such close and strong relationships with people in such a short time.
It is amazing how easy it is to become attached to the people who interact with your kids. Over the last few weeks of Madelynn’s school year we have had to say goodbye to the parents of her classmates. This has probably been harder on Carrie and me than on Madelynn. It makes me sad to think that next year this same group of parents will assemble outside Lakewood Creek Elementary School and watch their kids begin 1st grade together. It is likely that many of them will continue on through all twelve remaining years of school and will graduate together in 2021. LCES has been a great school for Madelynn and all of the kids, parents, and faculty have been absolutely wonderful to know. We wish all of them the very best of everything in the future. The ladies who work at the Vaughn Athletic Center’s child care center have partially raised Wesley over the last year. He has gone to the gym with Carrie and me several times a week since shortly after he was born. As we left the gym for the last time last week, there were tears shed by most everyone present, including me. Madelynn’s piano teacher, Erin, has been wonderful. She took Madelynn at the age of four and taught her how to read music and how to translate that reading into performance. Erin exposed Madelynn to the pressure of playing in front of groups large and small and how to have fun doing it.

The students and faculty in the English Department of Northern Illinois University have been amazing. You all did the seemingly impossible: you transformed an Army artilleryman with no background in literature into one that can talk somewhat coherently about the topic. If I could I would award all of you the Army Commendation Medal for your efforts. Thanks to all of you.

The most meaningful element of our lives over the last two years has been our involvement and relationship with the First Apostolic Church of Aurora. To all of you, thank you. You will never know how important you are to the Miller family. You have invited us into your homes, put up with our stories, and my weird ideas and theories about life. You have allowed me to play softball, golf, and music with you without any trepidation. You have made us feel welcome and comfortable in every way. You stopped what you were doing to help with Madelynn when Wesley was born three weeks ahead of schedule. You have been there for us on good and not-so-good days. You prayed for us and celebrated with us. We have shared birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and regular-old-non-special days. In the company of all of you, even those days became special for the Millers.

Our family has grown spiritually in more ways than I can begin to describe thanks to our pastors’ preaching, teaching, and leadership as well as the support provided by the church family. We have learned the essentiality of honoring God and impacting people. You have played a critical role in construction of Madelynn’s spiritual foundation that will sustain her for life. These involved in the children’s prayer program, the Sunday School, and the Bible quizzing all perform laudable service.
I cannot begin to name names in thanking people – I will certainly miss more than I mention. You all know who you are. I truly wish that I could thank each of you personally in a sufficient manner for what you have done for me and my family.

I had a grand plan earlier this week to write this blog several days ago and have it set to automatically post while we were at church tonight. But as I tried to write a few times this week, I could not get through it. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not type it. It was too emotional. Until now. And now I know why. I wanted to tie this to the Army tradition of the Hail and Farewell all along. It is what I am familiar and comfortable with. I just accepted the fact that there would be no “Hail” component. It would just be our farewell (not goodbye, farewell; there is a difference).

Then today happened.

The day started with Madelynn getting baptized at church this morning. A wonderful occasion. Then lunch with a large group of friends. Then an amazing evening service. Lots of tears. The Lord moved in an incredible way. We said our goodbye’s and shed a lot more tears. Then we occupied by force the Wal-Mart parking lot with vehicles, camp chairs, folding chairs, vehicles, a tent, and food from Sonic. Maybe a few tears. Lots of laughs.

But then an amazing thing happened. The very large group assembled there at Wal-Mart met Johnny and Tiffany. They were at church tonight for the first time. Someone mentioned to them that a few of us were going to Sonic. Johnny and Tiffany went to Sonic and then went to Wal-Mart and hung out under the tent with us. We got to know them a bit. They saw us in a casual setting and seemed to have a good time.
So, as Carrie pointed out to me this evening, this is not just a farewell—it has the hail component, as well. The cycle continues. It is that moment, that act of taking all comers and making them part of the group, that makes the FAC of Aurora such a special place. It is that kindred spirit that the Millers love. It is that spirit that will bring us back home to Aurora as soon as possible.

Thanks to all of you. As I mentioned at church tonight, words are inadequate in my attempts to express my feelings. Know that we love all of you and cannot wait to see you again.

A friend of mine said at an Army Hail and Farewell several years ago that if you have both laughed and cried in the same day, it is probably a pretty good day. If that statement is true, this has been an exceptionally good day.

For those still reading, both those from Aurora and those not from Aurora, thanks for getting through this. I promise the next one will be shorter.

Steven

Thoughts from Kindergarten

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:28:00 +0000

In a few hours, Madelynn, my oldest, will go to her last day of kindergarten. Maybe I am late in coming to this realization, but I am fairly certain that this is a bigger deal to us as parents than it is to the kids themselves.

I do not remember the first thing about kindergarten. I guess I went; I have no proof of this, but I suspect there is, or was, some law that required it. Tonight at our church's graduation service, the youth leader asked the assembled graduates if they remember their first day of kindergarten. I believe that all of them did not. I am sure that Madelynn will not remember most of the 2008-2009 school year.

But I will.

I will never forget walking her to school that first day. As with most parents, I am sure, this was a bit emotional, even for me who takes pride in removing emotions from most things. That day it was hard. She is very independent. She wanted to ride the bus to school despite the fact that the school is less than three blocks away and bus service is not offered. But she did let me walk with her.

I will never forget in the second week of school, when one of her new friends was not at all comfortable with going into school, Madelynn took her by the hand and made sure that Savannah got to school safely.

I will never forget embarrasing her in her class. I was invited to talk to the class about the Army (no, it was not a recruiting pitch; it is kindergarten, for crying out loud). I brought in pictures and some of my gear for the kids to play with and wear. Somehow the topic of necessary bodily functions in Iraq came up. Madelynn likes to talk about the burn barrel, but not in front of her friends.

In a short while, Madelynn will be an accomplished reader and will never remember a time when she was not. But I will always remember the process of her learning to read. Some of my favorite memories are of Carrie reading to her each night and Madelynn gradually learning to read back. One night this year, I tried to read stories to Madelynn before going to bed. She fired me. She told me I was not as good of a reader as mom and that she didn't want me reading to her anymore. That struck me as odd given that I was a literature graduate student at the time, but I learned from it. I have not tried to read to her at night since then, but she does let me read our morning devotion and take those opportunities to make my reading more interesting.

There was no kindergarten graduation at her school. I guess some schools have that and others do not. She wanted to have one of her own because mine "was boring" last month. I cannot disagree with her at all. Believe it or not, in direct opposition to everything I believe in, I secretely wanted Madelynn to have a graduation ceremony. I don't know why. But I did. Not having one was all right, too, though. I could not be more pleased or proud with a ceremony. In the last few months, she became a reader, gained a world of new friends, learned to get by and thrive on her own, and generally became a big kid.

I guess this is true for every kindergartener, but this is my first. Maybe every parent feels the way I do at this stage in life. But for a guy who generally does not have feelings, this is all foreign to me. I have learned more about life in this school year than Madelynn could possibly have learned.

Madelynn, I am very proud of you. Welcome to first grade.

I will post some pictures taken by Rachel Coltharp so that everyone reading this can see my Sweet Pea. Once I figure out how to add a slide show I will add more pictures. Rachel did amazing work with these pictures.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

The Seventh Circle of Disgusting

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Sun, 31 May 2009 03:33:00 +0000

I am not obsessive compulsive about much of anything. I do not consider myself a neat-freak by any means. I know people who are freakish about items of cleanliness and order. I am related to some of those people, but I am not one.

That being said, I do admit that I like things to be neat and orderly. Things should be put away. There is no need for clutter and disorganization. It is much, much easier to put things away immediately after use than it is to deal with it later. It does bother me when people do not clean up there own space, whatever that might be.

Things come in degrees. Anything can be good, pretty good, really good, bad, awful, horrific, etc... You get the point. Back to the present example of neatness, some folks can a bit messy or cluttered and still be a functioning member of society. Others are so messy that they are not capable of effectively functioning in society. Others are just messy.

And then there are my children.

My kids rarely ride in my truck (yes, the one that we will spend three weeks in). If they do, it is for short trips to school or just errands around town. Today, we made a bit of a trip in my truck (about four hours) and when we returned home I took a few minutes to adjust Wesley's car seat to make it more comfortable for him in our coming voyage/storm. It is while I was in the back seat area of my pick up truck that I fell into a Dantian-type of experience. I have no idea how two small people who are physically restrained can possibly make the mess that they made in my truck this day. I ask you, how is possible for a six-year-old to grind what appears to be an entire box of Pop Tarts into the carpet and after being given only two Pop Tarts and there still be an entire Pop Tart and a half remaining? I do not understand a 15-month-old hoarding food in the cushions of his car seat as if he is preparing for the inevitable attack from North Korea.

I have tried hard to work with Madelynn on cleaning up after herself. She fully understands that I do not care what messes she makes in her mother's Explorer. She knows that she will have to explain every stain in that vehicle to all of her friends when she turns 16. On her 16th birthday, in 2019, Madelynn inherits a 2006 Ford Explorer and her mother gets a car of her choice. When the pig-flu outbreak came a few weeks ago, I pulled her to the computer and showed her pictures of kids wearing masks and explained to her that they were afraid of the the pig-flu. I then tied pig-flu to the fact that her room often looks like a pig-pen. Her room has not been a mess since then.

I am just not sure what I can or need to do to keep the filth out of my truck over the next few weeks. I welcome your suggestions.

Thanks for reading.

Steven

The Coming Storm

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Thu, 28 May 2009 04:40:00 +0000

As it goes in the Army, we are moving. This is going to be one of the most emotional events of my life, but I will blog about that more later. For now I want to write about the act of moving, or to use Army parlance, PCS (Permanent Change of Station).

Of course we have known this day was coming for two years and because I am a geek-level planner we have taken steps to prepare for this move. We have very few things hanging on the walls reducing the number of holes to fill and paint over. We have a house to move into. We already have all of the utilities scheduled to be turned off. Which reminds me that we have to cancel the newspaper. But I digress.

One good thing about the Army is the fact that the act of moving is easy. I filled out a few forms online and a couple of days later I got a call from the moving company confirming the dates I want our stuff (Household Goods or HHG in Army lingo) picked up. The movers will be here in two weeks and will pack everything that is not nailed down. The challenge will be to make sure they do not take things that we want to carry with us.

Which brings us the the fun part. We are moving out of our house three weeks before we can move into our new house in New York. That means that we have to pack enough stuff for two adults, two kids, and a dog for three weeks. And it all has to fit in the back of my pick-up truck.

Three weeks. Two adults. One 6-year-old. One 1-year-old. One 45 lbs dog. One truck. This will be nothing but a good time.

We are going to take advantage of the time available and spend some time visiting family and friends in Florida (with a few days at Disney) and Virginia en route to our new duty assignment. There will be much to see and do during this span.

Thanks to my geek-level planning and our relationship with Dave Ramsey, we have been stashing the cash required for such an adventure for over a year. The primary objective is to have as much family fun with as little money as possible. The secondary objective is to do this without killing each other in the process.

Did I mention that this is nearly 3,000 miles with four people and a dog? In a pick-up truck?

If anyone has any tips for family travel, please pass them along. Any and all tips will be appreciated like how to save a buck, things to see or do, and how to keep two kids from screaming and fussing. This will be the first road trip for us with two kids and the first trip of such a long duration. I am not sure how we will survive,

Needless to say, there will be much to blog about during this time. Stay tuned for Miller's travel tales courtesy of the United States Army,

Thanks for reading.

Steven

Memorial Day

noreply@blogger.com (Steven Miller) — Mon, 25 May 2009 04:18:00 +0000

I suppose that the purpose of blogging is to put personal thoughts out in the ether and hope that someone reads them. I usually do not have a problem with that. Anyone who has read this blog knows that I like to rant about various political and cultural issues and occasionally (not often enough) I comment on something wonderful my kids have done (I need to do more of that). Today, I really do not know where to begin.

Memorial Day is the day set aside to honor those people who have given their all while serving our country. It is different from Veteran's Day: Memorial Day is a more specific tribute than Veteran's Day. A few years ago, Memorial Day was not much different than any other holiday in my mind. We got the day off and we grilled some meat.

Then we went to war. My thoughts on Memorial Day changed at that point. Then friends of mine died and my feelings about Memorial Day changed again. It became very personal. It is one thing to remember the sacrifice of people a generation or more ago. It is entirely different to remember the sacrifice of friends.

Today I thought a great deal about my friend, Chris. Chris did all of the jobs that I did in the Army, but he started them about a year before I did. He was always bailing me out of tough spots (that I invariably put myself in) with a word of advice or heads up that the battalion commander was on his way to my location. Chris was one of the few people in the world who referred to me as 'Steven' as opposed to 'Steve.' Chris was a great Soldier and leader. His Soldiers loved him. Chris also has a wife and two small boys. To the extent that 2- and 3- year olds can be best friends, his oldest son and my daughter were that. I had breakfast with Chris the morning he died.

Today I also thought about my mentor, Bill. Bill was a crazed Cardinals fan. He would make my head spin with baseball stats and his love for the Cardinals. The day after the Cardinals earned the right to go to the Worlds Series in 2004, he called me to his office and asked him if he should get tickets to the Series or get his kids Christmas gifts that year. I am not sure how Christmas worked out for the kids, but he went to the Series. Bill was one of the smartest people I have known in the military. His presence made stressful situations better. He is the man most responsible for me getting the opportunity to teach at West Point. The night before he died, he and I played catch in his office while we talked about graduate school applications.

They were regular guys who became heroes to us all.

For anyone who does read these memories and thoughts, please take a few moments and learn something about someone who has died in service to our country. In service to you and me. Pass along what you learn to your children. Make it something more personal than a passing recommendation to remember "those who have died." As my pastored mentioned in his message this morning, we must pass along these stories. Do you children a favor and introduce them to a hero. Tell your children about the hero's family. Explain the sacrifice.

Today I thought about these men and their families all of whom have given more than their share. Of course my list is much longer than these two men, but their deaths are the ones that make Memorial Day very, very real to me.

Richelle and Deb, you are always, not just on Memorial Day, in my thoughts and prayers.

Steven