Mind on Paper

Why Do We Love Bad Boys......

2011-10-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

Bad boys, the name say's it all. We often find ourselves wanting the man that has the edge, the one that is so exciting, thinks he's god gift to women, but don't give a shit about our feelings, yet keep us wanting more. And god forbid if the sex if incredible, that makes it even harder for us to leave. We all want that kind of excitement, the unpredictable nature of a man who is so unstable, we swear we can fix him, even upgrade him perhaps. But remember, he already comes into the relationship knowing who he is and knowing what he wants, so whatever plan you have for him is not even as big as the plan he has for you. Even the smartest of women fall for this kind of man. The allure is irresistible.

NEWS FLASH: Bad boys do not like other bad girls. They like the innocent, they like the strong, but not that strong. They also like a challenge, but in a different way than we do. They may have a bad girl as a side chick, because she might do things that "other" girl won't, either way, you won't be his one and only. And if he say's you are, then good luck with that.

I've had my share of bad boys. I must say the adventure was great, but it was not worth the pain I felt when I decided that this kind of "love" was not for me. As soon as I realized that this man will never change, I then began to make my own assessment of why I choose him in the first place. I knew that he was not marriage material, but he kept me on my toe's, and challenged me mentally. I knew he could never take care of me, but yet I invited him to be a part of my life. I just knew he was not good for me in the long run, but I was just too concerned with the short of it. I knew it! Thats why sometimes it's hard for me to believe that when woman who get involved with a man who is bad for them, are completely oblivious to what she is getting into. She is blind because she wants to be blind. We sometimes ignore the obvious and look for things that we won't ever see. We are intuitive creatures and we know, we just refuse to recognize, and that's where the trouble begins. There are some women who have no clue how to filter their emotions and logical thinking. They put that logical thinking on the side and go completely with our emotions. Relationship after relationship, coughing up the same result. That is backwards, we also have to be logical when inviting men into our hearts, and I am not sure when if ever will a bad boy be worth the investment. We are responsible for who and what we invite in our lives. The I don't know what happened, or how could he do this to me? syndrome is for teenagers.

There are some reformed bad boy's. After years of moving around, never making a commitment and being just overly tired of the drama, he might ultimately settle down with the chick that he has given the most troubles to. The one that stayed around until he actually grew up. That in turn makes her a real bad girl, because she supposedly tamed a bad boy, I guess. Or he might choose a young chick that does not know any better, all she knows is that he breaks her off and whispering "daddy" to him every now and then is enough. Whatever the case and the cause, please understand, there is nothing wrong with dating a bad boy, they are good if you just want to have a good time, with no commitments and get tuned up every now and then. But if you want love, you can find it in any man who is willing to not only complete you, but fulfill your every need, cater to your emotions and support you in every way. And guess what? You won't have to pay his cell phone bill for it to happen.

L, Peace and Love

Ok...soooooo

2011-10-11T00:02:00.000-07:00

After a 6 month stint in what seemed like dating prison (3 months to get in and 3 months probation) I have regained my composure, gathered my thoughts and ready to get back into the dating game. Although I almost hate to refer to it as a "game" but that is what it is. You pass, you receive, you pass again, you slam dunk or you miss, then the clock starts all over again. I must admit I have not made some great choices as of late, but hey, I have got to meet some very interesting people along the way and I always believe as an evolving human being we should always be open to connect to other human beings. One of the reason's why people cheat, that desire to connect to something new. Anyway, another day another time. We may not always know a person's purpose in our lives, but I am sure if we thought long and hard we can find a lesson, whether good or bad, there is always a lesson. Once the lesson is presented we either continue on that same path or make some changes. When you do something different, you get different results. I could never date someone from 10 years ago, not only am I different, but if I dumped you then, there is no chance now. I never recycle the pool, not for anything serious anyway.

The first of week of my decision to get back out there, was not so great. I was not a dating fanatic before, but the stuff, I mean the men that are out there now seem a little jaded about the roles they are suppose to play in the life of a woman, well at least in the life of this woman. For example, upon meeting me one asked if I had my drink money, no silly, I don't buy drinks on the regular and if you are not buying drinks, then move along. Another asked, can you give me a kiss on the cheek, no sir, I don't know you, and even though you look like a nice piece of chocolate I refuse to place my lips on a face that I just meet, sorry. These things are simple to me, just plain etiquette per say. I do not have a laundry list of what I expect, although there are certain qualities I am attracted to. I just hope that when he opens his mouth the things that come out of it is as attractive as the package. Like a friend of mine said, "Do not have "high" expectations, just have expectations and the men who do not belong there will get weeded out". Especially when you already know what you do not like. We come already knowing what floats our boats, so that alone eliminates a lot. Even when we marry the "ideal" mate, we always tend to see other's that we are attracted to, don't blame me, it's human nature. Do not trick yourself into believing that this prince charming will be perfect, just perfect for you, if you allow him to be. I believe in love, attraction, lust and all that good stuff, but I also believe in building relationships, getting to know someone because there is no quick fix for a broken heart.

So as I embark upon making new friends and ending old one's, I am looking forward to this journey. I am excited because that is the story of my life, it's never a dull moment.

L, Peace & Love

Book Signing and Discussion

2011-10-10T23:09:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of meeting with a few women who wanted to have a round table discussion about my book and other relationship issues and resolutions. We had a blast!

Please Don't Date Me-100 Reasons Why
L.L. Walton
http://www.amazon.com/Please-Dont-Date-Me-Reasons/dp/143276151X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318313437&sr=8-1

Excerpt from upcoming NEW BOOK: SHAME

2011-08-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

SARAH GREEN: The Socialite

My name is Sarah Green. I am a mother, wife and a friend of very few. I am married to a wealthy man whom I fell deeply in love with 10 years ago. Although I love my husband, I also hate what we have become. Our marriage has taken on a form of its own. He lives his life and I've created mine; financially we come together. Yes, he brought me a long way from the streets of San Francisco. A long way that I will never go back to. Sometimes it's a sad and lonely existence, but one that is remedied by small doses of cocaine and prescription marijuana.
I know my husband is having an affair. Any woman who claims she doesn't know when her man is seeking pleasures from another woman, is silly, uninvolved and should be cheated on. In this particular situation, I know he is having an affair because I set the whole thing up. He is having an affair with a man who is now a woman, and a beautiful woman at that. I know that my husband is weak. He only has power in the board room. Every where else he is a frail little boy waiting to be rescued by a blow job that's tainted with love. I guess I could yell, scream and be mad that he took the bait, but that would also mean that I would be surprised and right now I am not. She keeps him busy while I do what I want. With all this money, I do more than just shop. I make full use of my time and body.....

AMANDA RAE JONES: The Vixen

.....my step-father was a baptist preacher and my mother was a fool. He screwed everyone from the church secretary to the mother's of the church, all in the name of God. He also fathered two children with two different women. Women my mother brought into the church. Yes, she stayed and continued to praise God on the front left pew of the church every Sunday as if nothing was happening all around her. I guess if you do not acknowledge that something exist, then it probably really doesn't. She not only lived in denial she created it and rowed in it often in her little canoe. I guess it was a place of comfort for her. Her idea of being strong was not facing anything and going on with life like it was a perfect sunny day, even during a winter storm. I would have preferred her to be a drug addict that way at least she would be dealing with something. This denial thing is a silent killer and I believe at some point my mother began her silent death. It was a place that I never wanted to be . Religion and it's flaws, I had had enough. I grew up quick and empty. That's all you need to know, all that other shit in between is really none of your business.

KEVEN: The Gaysexual
I am a man who enjoys fucking men. I have a relationship with a woman who I adore sometimes, but there is something that a man gives me that she never will. There is an unfulfilled desire that is left lingering after I have been with a woman that is never there after I have been with a man. I am not sure if that makes me bi-sexual or just sexual. I have several children whom I have lost contact with and she has no idea that I have. Why bring up something you are not sure about. I have been in and out of jail so many times, that is seems like my second home. Every since I was 13 I have been trying to make it, just trying to hustle here and there.
.....When I meet Elizabeth she had a very nice smile. Her eyes were piercing and inviting. She was a nice curvy woman, although she seemed a little insecure about it, I loved that about her. Even in my least manly moments I needed a woman to hold on to. At first, we had good times and good sex. I liked being with her. She accepted me and all my misfortune, somewhere deep I loved her. But I knew that I needed him, I knew that whenever I would get out of jail we would be back at it. Something in me desired him more and her less.........

"The Dick Factor" (Do Not Read If You Are Sensitive)

2011-07-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been dickmatized?

I know your thinking oh hell no! No, Not me! Well, if you have ever been in a relationship where the sex is immaculate and the man is not, then you have been dickmatized. He probably does not have a job, no education, no car, no real dreams or anything as such, but he can slang that 'D", so you put up with things that you normally would not because once he is inside you, you forget about all that other stuff that really should matter. Jill Scott said it best. "“Where you get caught up in the whole sexuality of your relationship but it’s not going anywhere… Just somebody giving you the goods but not necessarily giving you the rest-or not expecting the rest from them.”

Being dickmatized is nothing to be embarrassed about. We as women have all fallen into some trap to make us believe that yes it will get better. We believe one day he will get a job or leave from off my couch or be able to take me out to dinner or sincerely care about me. Yes, that is that dick in action. It clouds our mental vision and creates an illusion of what we hope to be. It keeps us posted in that position until the next time he takes us to climax heaven. The tragedy comes in when we invest in the dick for the long-term and even sometimes marry the dick. Ladies, that is something you never do. You find yourself letting the dick drive your car, and you buying it clothes, food or even providing shelter for the dick. Let that dick go! If you are not ready to let the dick go and is finding it hard to say no, just think of your value and what you really want in a relationship. If you then find that all you need at this moment is some good dick, then have at it, break that mofo off! But do not invest more into it, then it is investing in you.

There is no one that enjoys sex as much as I do, and having a healthy loving relationship where you are treated like a Queen and where love is reciprocated,is far more greater than just what a dick can provide. Dick's come and go (literally). That is what they do, when you get tired of it, it will be more than happy to move on to the next, that's what it does, that's how it is, enjoy it for what it is and you too can move on. Trust me it does get better, but only if you require it to. It may have been the best dick you ever had, so you think, but dick is only as good as you are. Don't be desperate for the dick. You can not go around making dick demands when you have put up with it for years. The dick does not change. Beside's, as a woman you hold the key, your va-jayjay is way more powerful than his dick. (Those of you who do not know that, I will explain later).

I am writing this because I too, had to let go of some good ass dick. I can not even explain how sensational it was. For about 3 months it had complete power over me and I allowed it to happen. I found myself saying I love him, when I really just loved the dick. It was crazy! How could this be happening, I know better than this! Then one day I just snapped out of it. I intentionally created a nice ambience, bought champagne and candles for my last romp with this dick, then I said farewell. Once it was gone, I regained my power. I accepted it for what it was and considered it to be a test. I could have accepted the dick and that half ass man I was getting, but I needed more and those sexual sessions was not enough.

Now I am more prepared and ready to welcome a more fulfilling and realistic relationship; I have always been, that good dick was just a sidebar. I have no regrets about my decision to have a relationship with some good dick, every girl should have at least one. Just know when it's time to move on and let that good dick go.

LL

The Change.....

2011-05-30T16:26:00.001-07:00

There is so much I want to say, but you have probably heard it before.

There is so much that you should know, but you probably don't realize it.

L.L.Walton

The Luxury of Life

2011-04-19T00:42:00.000-07:00

Do you really know what the luxury of life is?

Do you wake up to breakfast in bed. Do you live where there is an endless ocean view? Is it money that never runs out? How important is that life, when happiness is free? There are those that live that life and are the saddest people on the earth. I do not have much, but I am rich in love and I can truly say that I am doing better than most because I am thankful for all that God has given. For me, it is not the material things that you can see that might display my level of happiness, it is in my conversation, my giving, my time and my decision to spread happiness where ever I go. If I have $2 dollars giving half to a complete stranger is pure happiness to me. I teach to give, because holding on to whatever assets you glorify can be easily taken away. Taking a moment to share is a deposit into the gates of heaven. Helping another with sincerity opens the heart to receive abundantly. I know this, I experience it almost daily. It is how I have survived even through some of the hardest days and nights.

I have been given a lot and I have gave a lot. I did not realize that there are so many people who find me deserving of all that is good. You rarely find people who would give you the moon if that would make me happy, but I have that in my life. I will also add that that love is not there because I have a big house, a nice car, an ivy league education or thousands in the bank. It is there because of my character. I have a sincere interest in the happiness of others. I want everyone who tries to succeed. I believe there is more than enough success on this earth to share and we all can have a piece of the pie, so get yours. I must warn you, you will not get your rewards by cheating, lying, stealing or pretending. The quest has to be pure and willing. The universe supplies every need. Whatever thought you process in mind, it can come into existence, like a well written movie.

So I ask again, what is your luxury of life? Are you giving and receiving abundantly? If there is anything you need to change or recreate in your life, you can. It begins with you. The luxury is the reward of life and whatever it holds for you.

Peace and Love:)

It's been A long time......and I may never come back

2011-03-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

I always tend to find it amazing when the course of life changes so much and so fast that when you wake up and realize what road you're on it's too late, the crash is already in progress. What can you do? Do you hope that you survive or do you hope death is the final answer to life's unexpected questions.
I know that I am not living the life that I want, but only I can change that. When you are unstable and think you have it almost together then boom! It's all over, something else appears. Something that makes you want to give up on life altogether. Something that can only hinder you in the long run. It is such an unfamiliar place that you go over in your head how you arrived at this location in the first place. You're smarter than that. You have convinced yourself that this is the right choice even though you have no idea what you have chosen. When the mask starts to peel away, you find that you've made a serious mistake. One that can not be recovered,one that you may never recover from. Even God is looking at you in dismay.
So the tears continue because the truth was never told. You're still trying to make it right, but you know deep inside there is no room for hope, so you die slowly. I never ask why. I know why. Somewhere at sometime the universe decided that I needed and wanted this. That I will never get the life I so really want because the devil works overtime on those who try to get from under the blanket of fate. So the fear sets in. You call it happiness, because that's what you want to see, when the real is that you are miserable and everything you touch will be. So another battle I fight and I anticipate the sleepless nights, because there is no answer for those who never know what real life is. Lies,lies, the lies, they have to continue because you bought the first one. But I know better right? Of course I do, so now I must put it all to an end, what other choice do I have? You can't love a species that's never been loved, not even from the womb. What you live by is what you die by. There is no happy ending for those who cause heartache and pain. I was chosen because I looked the part. Easy prey because I have an heart. A dream stealer because it has no dreams of it's own. So again I must stand up, fight my own battle, be my own hero and save my own life, because all around me are my enemies, no one to help or set me free.

Peace.

Gettin' older and Better

2011-01-12T14:02:00.000-08:00

I know I should be embarrassed for taking this long to blog, but life is kicking in real fast and I just got a chance to slow down.

It's really a new year and as the second week glides on through I will have aged by Friday, by one year. One fast year, and I heard they get even faster as you get older. No, I am not complaining, I've looked to this age since I was half this age and it is something about getting there that makes me appreciate the journey. I had no idea what I would be doing. Maybe the marriage with kids, corporate job and all that American pie stuff. I have done some of it, but the road I am traveling now is up to the almighty and its wide open. The possibilities are endless and I am up for the surprises, focusing on all that is good and expanding my mind. I am appreciating my body and nourishing my spirit.

I am no longer "watching" my figure, but watching it form into nothing but woman. My thick thighs that wrap around his body are perfectly formed for touch and admiration. The thickness in my waist is there so I can appreciate the ass that has formed beneath it. I am woman and I love it! I am no longer concerned about the young chicks that because I "look" their age think they can compete. No,my child I am in a league you could only dream to be in, no competition here; Shiiit I pulled a dude your age yesterday,now who's the competition?

I am loving me even more. Congratulating myself for never compromising, even when I wasn't sure. I am confident in my growth, my decisions and mistakes. I am a growing flower that's rooted in soil that is moist and fertile, you dirt lovers need not apply. I am on a mission of fulfilling my dreams and living them, with few stops along the way. I am moving in an unstoppable motion that only God orchestrates, so I wait for my next instrument to be used. I am in love, a love that is so strong it can be felt for miles; this time I recognized it. I am ready to fly,soar above all to see. So take a seat and enjoy the show.

Peace and Love:<>

Happy New Year!

2011-01-05T11:46:00.000-08:00

OMG! can't believe we are finally here in the 2011! My birthday is in about 8 days. January13th. The luckiest number in the world.

Smooches, tune in for new updates, dating scenarios and experiences.

L.L

5 Ways to Ruin a Relationship

2010-11-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

These days trying to keep a relationship together can be tedious. There are so many things to consider, the likes and dislikes, the ups and downs and just communicating, which can sometimes be simple, gets way too complicated.

When we enter a relationship, we are happy we look forward to seeing each other and everything is peachy. We call each other when we say we are and we plan to see each other a regular basis. We are in sync and communicating with each other seems effortless. But then something happens. Somewhere along the line things start to get a little twisted and off balance. I call, you won't answer. I call again, and you still won't answer. I am busy when you're free and vice-versa. All the love in Pleasantville has gone down to the alley in Horrorville and you can't figure out what happened or maybe you can.

If you have done one or all of these things you may be the culprit in helping in the demise of your relationship.

1. NEEDY: No one really likes to be with someone who needs them all the time. It is a sign of insecurity and needing constant validation is not a good look. Have a life or get one real quick.

2. OVER COMPENSATE: Sometimes it's really hard not to show someone how much you like them. I suggest you just do it all in moderation. Giving too much too soon, will ultimately lead to getting taken advantage of, walked over and used. If you are not up for all that, please stop, learn to take a little.

3. LIE'S: Starting a relationship with an untruth will lead to more untruth's. Soon you will be dancing to the tune of "liar, liar, pant's on fire". Just don't do it. In order for someone to get to know you, you must be completely honest about who you are.

4. CHEATING: No one likes to be betrayed. If you have agreed on being exclusive with each other, then be just that. If the discussion has never come up, please don't leave your exclusivity to assumptions, people get hurt that way. The only thing you can assume is that you both are still on the market.

5. FRIENDS: Not everyone is going to be happy because you are happy in your relationship, not even your dearest bestes of friends, especially if he or she is single. Keep your relationship details between you and your mate. Having frequent discussions with other people regarding your relationship will only lead to misinformed advice and you back to being single.

Black Girls Rock!

2010-11-08T10:55:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I had the honor of hanging out with my teenage daughter. Since the birth of her little sister our daughter dates have become far and few in between, so this weekend I made sure it was all about my daughter, Imani Special Lee.

We began the weekend with going to see "Colored Girls", which was a very moving movie that said about a lot about women in relationships, love, adversity and finding themselves. Although my daughter has had what seems like a peachy upbringing, this does not leave her exempt from the obstacles that life can throw at you. Sometimes the things that life throws at you, wake you up or make you change your direction. Whatever the case there is no real way you can be prepared, you just have to be prepared to learn the lesson.

We then got up early Saturday morning to walk in the Caribbean Sounds 5K Walk for Sascoidosis research. The lesson: Always give,always serve and always give a hand to the person that needs it the most. We live in a individualistic society. Rarely are people helping each other; there is, however plenty of let's see how much I can get for less. The it's let's compare toys. It's all the root of insecurity, because no one can really compete,so it becomes an endless strive for an unreachable place to nowhere. My daughter said to me even though it was grueling for her to get up on a Saturday, she was glad she went. She felt good for doing something for someone else.

On Sunday night we ended the weekend by watching BET's "Black Girls Rock!". I wanted to us to watch this to further give examples of what she can do. My daughter and I have always had conversations ever since she was able to talk. I make sure that she understands that her opinion matters and that she has the power to have the life that she dreams of. To love herself and never seek completion through a man, drugs or the approval of others. A complete life begins with the love for yourself. There is no one on the planet who can give you what you can, they can only add to what you feel about yourself. I teach her to live with no fear, explore life and move to the beat your own drum.

I know my daughter hears me and although often my rants may sound like blah, blah, blah to her, my hope is that one day she will remember what I shared with her. I learned a lot from my daughter as well. I learned that she is growing into a very intelligent and caring young lady. She loves people and wants the best for everyone. With all the things that my daughter could be involved in as a teenager, today, like most days, I am proud of her. The things I shared with her regarding my life and how I prevail even through the darkest of nights. It's possible. When you defy what people think of you, you soon realize that they never mattered in the first place.

Kiss your daughters,Peace & Love

Voted! And then some.............

2010-11-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hello, Good morning, Buenos Dias, Hola, it is Tuesday, November 2nd and I hope you went out there and gave your.2 cents because it matters!

Alrighty then!

It is that time of the year when the holidays are coming near and the end of this year is ending as well. I am still single (meaning not married;)). Although I am not sad to report that, I am however just appalled at the length men will go to do absolutely nothing. Well, maybe not, but anyway. I am a lot happier. The move gave me freedom of mind, the girls are growing and healthy. My first book has been published and life just looks a lot rosier these days. Things can only get better so I am looking forward to the new year.

I meet a man about a year ago. We would often see other out at the local bar. He seemed like a nice guy and physically he was delicious; tall, dark chocolate, chiseled face with big hands (j/k). When we eventually talked he told me he thought I was stuck-up (Imagine that) and that I had a man somewhere. I also found out later through numerous conversations with him, that he also thought I was "out of his league". Huh? Now this is a man whom even though we exchanged phone numbers never really called. He would be excited to see me at the bar and how he always talks about me, but thought I was too busy to be bothered with him. Now, I thought about how he just basically just convinced himself that he didn't deserve me and made no effort to confirm it. I also thought about how many men feel that way about a woman? How they may like someone and believe she would probably never talk to them for reasons they made up in their head. Although I believe that if you convince yourself that you don't deserve something or someone, you're probably right, but you must take a chance.

If there are moments in your life that you want to meet someone but you just admire them from afar or you think you don't deserve a chance, take a chance! You are curious and you want to know more about that person, so find out. I did something different by contacting a person whom I admire. That was different for me, real different, did I say how different that was? I did not wait for him to talk to me, maybe he too was playing that "I don't deserve mind game", as shy as I can be, I took a chance and you should too.

As far as me and that man, he let too much time pass us by. Although I did have a crush and it probably would have been a nice relationship, I am no longer interested. In this life you have to seize the opportunity and make the most of it or it will pass you by. I have moved my interest and curiosity to another suitor and now I am just enjoying the view.

How to know when You're Slummin'

2010-10-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I had my first slumming experience. It was fun and exciting, but I knew that it would be short-lived. For those of you who do not know what slumming is or is confused about how it relates to you, please let me explain. Slumming is when you are with a guy or a girl who you have nothing in common with, you're not even on the same intellectual level. You may even say that being with this person is dating beneath your "normal standards". When people see you out together they wonder, how the hell did that happen,or what is she doing with him or what is he doing with her? There is no real connection except that the sex is insane, which is ultimately the glue that keeps you together.

Let me give you some examples, Janet was slumming when she got with Jermaine Dupri. I mean, the boy likes strippers and lesbians, good for a moment, but not a lifetime. Tiger Woods was slumming when he got with plenty of the miscellaneous hood rats from all over the U.S. He took slumming on a whole nother level. Jesse James was slumming when he cheated on Sandra Bullock with that tattoo chick. This slum act can be contested because he actually is still with this tattoo chick and that may constitute him as just slum himself. Bill Clinton was slumming when he let Monica Lewinsky give him that blow job.(Talk about dicks that will make you famous...lol).

During my slum expedition my family was damn near in an uproar. They were confused and sad. They thought I would fall in love, have a baby and marry this fool. That was the last thing from my mind. He served a purpose and at that moment that was all I needed. My faux pas was letting them know who he was. Of course, when you have a family that see you as this college educated little innocent girl,(no matter how old I get) who likes having a boyfriend and is easily persuaded to do things that I would not normally do; they went into panic mode. This guy was not what they wanted for me; and I just wanted one thang, I mean thing.:) Aahhhhhhh family. They have no idea about the man eater I really am ("I am the envy of all women and I rule the men". ERYKAH BADU) and I do nothing to dispel their idea of me. Anyway.

A man will often slum more than a woman. Although we have our moments of weakness for men who are clearly not good for us, it takes time for us to get there, it has to be a phase or something. A moment in time that we allow ourselves to be and do something outside the norm. For me, I just needed a young man that could go the distance, keep up and then shut up! Men, however, tend to actually go after the slum chick, they are easy, available and will do anything. (i.e Kat Stacks). She usually looks less attractive then the girlfriend or the wife and has nothing going for herself but maybe a fat ass and ummmmm well, a fat ass. Some men do not care how many and who has went up in that before them, they just want a piece of the pie.

O.k,now that you have been edjumacated, I am sure you have a clear understanding of what slumming is. It's nothing bad, and although you will be judged harshly for it, try not to let it ruin your life. There is hope after slumming, you can move on and get a man that actually is more your speed like Janet did. She is now with a tall billionaire, that is so yummy. Yes, an upgrade was definitely in order. You can get that boyfriend that you often dream of in your head, he is out there. As women we have the power to get any man on the planet. Ladies, please recognize that power! And men don't underestimate it! And for men and women alike, try not to make slumming a everyday, life long thing, because being a slummer is really not a good look.
Like, you would not want to marry one (in my valley girl voice).

Peace and Everlasting Love, Ya'll

Marriage Made in Heaven?

2010-10-11T23:26:00.000-07:00

I often wonder about the institution of marriage these days. Where has all the love gone? These days it seems that marriage means, "Let me see how much bullshit I can throw your way before we decide to get a divorce". Or maybe just means as long as I have someone to lie next to at night,who cares how dirty they are.

I see there are a lot of things that a person can go throw in a marriage that I simply do not think that I am built for. For instance, finding out that my husband is really gay, being cheated on numerous times or even being lied to. Something like fathering other children, or having an "open" relationship. I am not sure those are things that God intended for marriage to be. It is a license that says you will be with me no matter what, I will love respect and honor you as my husband or wife and we will do our best to keep it together, I do not think that involves other people.

I see husbands and wives cheating left and right. I see children being affected by it all. I see insecure women holding on to something that is not there anymore,just to say that they have a husband, is misery that important? Is the "look" of marriage more important than what it really is suppose to mean?

Then I probably won't ever get married because I am just too old fashioned. I believe a man should provide for his family. I am liberal enough to know that the roles may change, but the rules still apply. There are rules you go by when you decide to get married. Rules, that are often broken so much, that you have to makeup more rules to accommodate the ones that were broken. I believe they should also share some responsibilities, whatever those responsibilities are should be decided between the two.It saddens me when I see a woman professing her love for her husband when her husband has others. Does she know? Is she putting on a front? Maybe they have an understanding. Something like, stay in it for the kids. I don't know, but I know that I love to see old couples who still hold hands, it makes me wonder how they made it this far.

I know that marriage is hard, shit having a regular relationship is hard, but I think you should never invite other people into your marriage, EVER! And when you marry for the wrong reasons, it makes it that much harder. Maybe that's why it's hard, that ole' human need that desires another is natural. It's all about control and having respect for what you have at home, unfortunately, some people have completely lost that. They give into that need to be needed and get what they desire from their husbands or wives from another. If just for a night or ten years, that need eventually gets meet, along with the violation of your wedding vows. Is it really worth it?

I can have someone in my life and never get married, that's because I believe marriage does not validate a good relationship. Maybe one day I will cross that line, maybe I won't, either way I will have a clear understanding of who I am, and who I have invited to be such an intricate part of my life.

If you are married or in a relationship that may lead to marriage, do something special tonight for your loved one. Kiss her longer, hold him tighter, let them feel your love, because if you don't someone else will.

Back At It!

2010-09-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

After a wonderful night at the Mary B.Morrison venue, I went out with one of my best friends for a late night dinner.

For some reason I have this incredible ability to hear conversations that I could careless about. Maybe because I have limited vision and you know if one sense if lost the other's are increased,or at least one is, mine is hearing. (the human body is amazing) Anyway, I hear a little man talking to his homeboy commenting on me and my friend. His words were, "Yeah dating pretty women is work,they require too much,they probably lonely,no man and mad, while glaring at us. OK this is the guy that also has a woman to the left of him. No she was not the most attractive woman, and I can understand his choice, based on his comments he seems a bit immature and insecure and any other "im" or "in" you can find. The fact that he was one step from being a midget also explained his disposition. Even though I prefer a tall man,I have nothing against a short one, as long as he has it where it matters and they usually do. But this mofo was losing it in all areas, bad attitude, gossiping about women and looking like a fucking gobbler. What nerve to speak ill about any woman, I guess he knows what he will never have.

I believe men know what kind of woman they can get. They do not dream big in that area because a man will only go for what he think she can get,and believe me if you give him any inclination that there is a inkling of a possibility of getting that a man will wait and be good to you, just based on the possibility. Women, we know from the jump. We just have to take the time to find out if this mofo is crazy or not. There are those who think they can get any woman, (I love them the most). The one's that have that superman ego and think they are God's gift to all women, they gamble, and put it all on what they can do with the dick. Like one woman said "Dick is forgettable". And I must add also too easy to attain, too available and ready and hard to get rid of sometimes. You can take that gamble with me, give me your best shot and I will enjoy it for what it is, just don't call me I will call you.

My first Appearance!!

2010-09-28T00:47:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had my first appearance introducing my first book, Please Don't Date Me-100 Reason's Why

First I would like to say thank you to Mary B.Morrison, who gave me the opportunity to introduce my book at her venue. It was very exciting and I was very nervous, so nervous that I thought I would just freeze. I have to practice speaking in front of people. The fact that I am incredibly shy in front of strangers probably showed a bit. I also forgot my business cards, duh! This was a learning experience and a clear reminder to always "be ready".

Although I am very tired tonight, my adrenaline is still flowing through my body and I am wide awake, anticipating my next move. Planning this book signing, for real and stop procrastinating is my next move. I am so excited about this new venture.

Stay tuned, it gets better.

Good Night!

He winked at Me:)

2010-09-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

Out hanging with friends watching football, trying to stay cool from the heat. I rarely get out socially and I thought I would take advantage of the hot weather and maybe flirt with someone.

We were all at the bar talking and laughing. I told the little 25 year old that was sitting near by with the gold grill how old I was and went on to have some kind of weird conversation about cougar's and how he was a tiger or cub or maybe even a pup. Not too sure what the point was, I was a little tipsy and just passing the time.

Then there he was.

I had seem him in this place before, but made no attempt to have a conversation or make eye contact. I just thought he was some guy that just hangs out at the bar. He was very tall, very handsome and after checking him out for a while, very friendly, did I say attractive? Ok. The evening went on and then I looked up and he winked at me. A nice wink, a flirt, who knows how long it took him to actually do that. (Men don't usually say anything to me, they just stare) And what did I do? I smiled and looked away from embarrassment of being winked at. I know, I know, sounds crazy, but that's exactly what happened. I did not look at him again and then he was gone. Wow,lady Good job!

So, I am not sure what he is about or why I froze up like a still photo, but I thought about it all night. My lack of dating these days has me completely unaware of what it looks like when a man is actually interested. I have got to get out more often. My friend said that he is "good people". I am not sure what's supposed to happen after this,but I am going to go back to that bar one day, just to see if he's there, maybe I will wink at him next time.

Untimely Meeting.......

2010-09-13T01:16:00.000-07:00

There is a certain feeling I get when I meet people from my past is trying to get into my future. It's mind blowing to me because I am not always sure why this person is here in the first place, so my brain's begin to scramble, then I can not sleep,only because the intentions that are being presented are false and I see it and feel it and I wonder why.

If you are amazed that you are in the presence of someone and find that you are experiencing unexpected pleasure then,enjoy it for what it is. It does not necessarily mean that you are suppose to be a permanent statue in someone's life. This could all be temporary, like the weather, so dress accordingly.

I feel an energy that makes me afraid. What I see and feel are in conflict and it is what I feel that must win this battle, because my eye's and ear's are deceiving me. My intuition is never wrong. My insight allows me to see what is being hidden. Have you ever listened to someone and you knew that they were bullshitting you? But you listened anyway? Yeah, that's the feeling. You look at the source and you know that this can not be, but what you feel is true so you shake hands with that enemy and send him on his way, knowing that he is not there for the benefit of you, but for his own naive selfishness. I am no fool, but you are for thinking so.

Good Night, we will see how this story unfolds.

Follow Me...If you Dare

2010-09-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

WOW!

Last night was a blast, did some light weight promoting my book and got some pretty good reviews. Now is the time for me to say when I am doing this book launching party. It will be a celebration indeed. I guess I have been procrastinating on that a bit because I am so shy and I do not really like the spotlight that much. It really makes me nervous. But this shall be another thing that I conquer....one day:)

I am so happy right now, I am fulfilling a long time dream and I know this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey.

Peace and Love Ya'll!!!

2010-09-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Please+Don%27t+Date+Me&x=0&y=0

Reason # 18

2010-09-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

" If I called a lot before sex and none after; please don't date me, I only wanted the sex".

How many ways?

2010-09-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

How many way's can I tell you I am not interested.

How many time's do I need to say stop calling.

What do I need to to do to let you know that I am not interested.

Please....leave me alone. You are not "the one" for me.
I know that somewhere in your little head you think so, but I would have to agree with you in order for that to take place...ok?
Scram? Beat it!
Just find someone else. I was once told that there is someone for everyone, so please find your someone, it's not me. I promise.

Late and On time

2010-08-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

Most of the things that I have accomplished in my life have come at a later time in my life. For instance, getting my degree, having a child, my desire to know thyself and to watch others. I have taken the time to really get to know what my purpose is and so my path has been set.

When I think about how people plan their lives according to their time clock I often laugh. Oh, I will get marry at this time, have a baby at this time, buy a house, blah, blah, blah. I guess for some things it's good to have a plan, but life is such a big canvas and has so many avenues and curve ball's how can you really plan. It seems more like hope. And besides when you have God in your life, you need to understand his plan. The universe has a way of destroying your plans and making you take another look at your little planned life and at who is really in charge.

God's timing in my life could not have been more perfect. When you truly let go and let God, there is nothing that you can not do. There is nothing more perfect when your plan coincides with that of a higher power. Nothing can break your path, whatever you have coming to you, will come,and above all it will come with ease.

I will probably marry late, have another child late, and live my best years later in my life, but to me all that will be on time and in perfect unison with what life has planned. I love it when things just come together.

Love yourself unconditionally, live in the truth and send out good vibes. The next time someone say's oh you are so late with that, or you should be here in your life by now, just smile and say, "I am right on time".

Live,Love Laugh!

My Book is here!!!!

2010-08-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

Pick up Please Don't Date Me-100 Reasons Why at www.amazon.com or barnesandnobles.com

Thanks you.

Peace & Love