Shortly thereafter, she asked if Jesse was going to attend the Expo. I sure understood … talk about a Star showing up at the Expo. I figured the only way to find out was to ask him.

This afternoon, after Jesse had his lunch, I stood next to him and asked, “Sooo, you know that I am organizing another Equine Wellness Expo, right? The one you inspired last year. I am wondering if you would like to come and be part of it. You would come with me and hang out at the event, it will be busy and noisy, there will be a lot of people and horses. You will know some of them, but some are new to you. What do you think?”

Nothing.

The only thing noticeable was his eye wandering around the corner of the barn, to where the other horses were hanging out.
I waited a moment and said “Or would you rather stay here and hang out with the other horses?”
I waited another horse breath or two.

Nothing.

Fair enough. I walked back into the barn and continued to muck the stalls. I wondered, what would it be like to have Jesse at the Expo?
How would he feel?
Considering how attached he can be, I imagined him watching my every move as I cruised around in the indoor at UMass, taking care of business.
He would possibly take down the fence panels that were supposed to contain him.
How would I feel?
Most likely distracted, concerned about him. Hoping he will understand that it was only a day trip and that he was coming back home with me. Knowing how sensitive he is, he would easily end up worried. That was the last thing I wanted for him.

Needless to say, I was wandering around in my head without supervision.

By the time I got to Jesse’s shed I received the answer. As I pushed the fluffy shavings around, I suddenly felt Jesse’s energy. He let me know that I was messing around with the future.

Darn, I gave myself an imaginary slap on the forehead, what was I thinking? Considering how many transitions we have experienced since we met last April, who knows where we will be in a few months. There was no way he or I could decide today, February 24th, if it made sense to take him to the Expo.

April 29th, 7 a.m. I will ask again.

After about 30 minutes my arm was getting tired, my right shoulder started to complain, a slow burning sensation crept in. I was ready to stop the brushing and start the hanging.

Yet, every time I stopped Jesse nudged me with increasing intensity. When I moved away he followed me, placing me right back where he wanted to be scratched. Slightly irritated that we couldn’t “just be”, that I had to continue “to do” if I wanted to be near him, I asked him silently what this obsession of me brushing him was all about? Like lightening speed an answer popped into my mind “I can’t roll!” 

Ohhhh, that made so much sense. All the other horses were rolling on and off throughout the day, rubbing the itchy spots caused by the loosening winter coat. Jesse, due to his age (35), his size (2,000 lbs.) and a former hip injury can’t roll. He does lie down, but only on one side, his left.

Thanks to a series of Flowtrition body treatments, his right hip is 90% better, but he is not confident that it will support him getting up. In short, scratching his right side while on the ground, or rolling, is not an option for Jesse.

Armed with this new insight I humbly mumbled “I will be your roller”, switched the brush into my left hand and kept on brushing … as you can see, much to his delight.

" ... the next day after I saw you, my sister Cara and I went to barn; the first thing I noticed was that Grace (the mare) was not standing immediately next to Cruiser like a magnet, as she has done since we moved to this barn. 
She was across the paddock. I felt that was a good thing. I took Cruiser out of pasture because his chiropractor was coming, Cara stayed with Grace just sitting with her. 

After the chiro left, a woman who does Reiki on horses drove up to the barn. She worked on Cruiser the previous week after his fall and he had just soaked it up, stood there quietly for about 45 minutes periodically releasing stuff.  She offered to work on Cruiser again which was so nice, and we were going to have her do Reiki on Grace after  that.  
When the woman started Reiki on Cruiser he wasn't quite as interested as last time.  He seemed to be more focused on Grace.  So we quit after a few minutes and put him and Grace back in the round pen together so Grace could receive some Reiki.  She stood so quietly, soaking it up.  Cara and I sat on the ground next to her in the pen, Cruiser stood right next to us all too.  I think he had wanted this for ‘his girl’.  I realized all of us were focused on Grace, and that she had never ever been the center of such loving attention. 

As I saw this, I wondered what she was feeling at that moment; it was love, the feeling of being the recipient of love; it seemed not a common thing for her.  As I recognized this, Cruiser put his nose on my head and nuzzled my hat. 
The Reiki went on for a long while; eventually, I started feeling that maybe it was finishing up, and though the practitioner thought so too, she kept her hands on Grace’s side, maybe sort of waiting for things to wind down.  Then Cruiser went over and deliberately nudged her hands; he stood back a moment and when she didn't move them he politely did that again.  Throughout this Grace was standing still quite contentedly. 
When the practitioner still didn't move her hands, Cruiser went to Grace’s flank, nuzzled it carefully and gave a deliberate and polite little nip and with that Grace stepped away.  It seemed that he had concluded the Reiki was complete and if the practitioner didn't respond to his notification he would tell his horse friend to respond.
Us 3 humans stood around in the pen talking for awhile as the horses strolled around.  Then Cruiser pointedly walked over to Cara and touched her. It caught my attention and I asked her what she had just been thinking at that moment.  She said she had been thinking that the horses were probably ready to go back into their pasture.  So, we readily responded to Cruiser’s cue and took them back.

As you can imagine, I was thrilled reading that e-mail.
It took so little to allow for so much.
By gifting Grace with some attention, the three women received a beautiful glimpse into the healing opportnities available, when good communication is fostered between us and our horses. 

Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent .

Among other things, I spent some time in Eastern Mass with a client and her horse.

Following the flow, not her horse but his paddock mate, a Quarterhorse mare, called out to us. She needed some heart to heart connection from my client. So instead of working with her horse, we met the horses where the horses were and brought both with us into the round pen. I wish you could have seen how the mare lit up. Her owner does not hang out or play with her. Usually, they groom and ride.
My client on the other hand, does a lot of fun stuff with her gelding ... keenly observed by the mare.

This time she got to join in on the fun. I have never seen such glee in the mare's eyes. We did not much, we relaxed in the round pen, and my client encouraged both horses to connect with her at liberty. She had some beautiful connections with both horses, together and individually, and we felt the mare really enjoyed this new adventure.

Once we had completed our work, my client decided she would invite the mare more often to connect with her. We discussed, to create Mindful Connections they don't ever need to leave the paddock. She can offer her a little scratch, gently brush through her mane, or simply sit with her while the mare eats. In less than 10 minutes much can be accomplished for this sweet horse looking to connect heart to heart.

Tonight I approached Shana’s stall door with a heavy bag of shavings under my arm. Her head hung through the opening in the door. I asked Shana to step back so I could let her out of her stall, she hesitated, and instead of stepping back she stretched forward to sniff the bulky thing under my arm. I took a breath, waited, let her smell it, took another breath, and without further ado she stepped back so I could open the door. Don’t think they did not hear you in the first place.

My friend Amy once told me that it is a good practice to comb your horse's mane, tail and forelock with the metal comb you see in the picture. She explained that a lot of energy gets swirled up in the horse's long hair. Every tail swoosh is a signal to another horse, every neck swing is a communication tool that expresses energy ... “move over”, and can also be a sign that energy was received ... “can’t believe you made me”.

It reminded me of my riding lessons as a child in Germany. Before each ride we had to take care of the horse's tail through something called “verlesen”. “Verlesen” meant that we had to separate the tail hair by hair, and when I say’ hair by hair’, I mean’ hair by hair’. By the end of the process the tail was a wondrous, bushy, gleaming, swiftly moving part of the horse. What is great about the German tradition as well as Amy’s suggestion … you bond with your horse. Grooming is a time to connect, to check in, to test one another’s moods. And despite it being called a pulling comb, is does not pull hair out when you comb. It combs nicely, especially when used in conjunction with Cowboy Magic.

Yesterday I went out into the pasture where 4 of our 6 horses were finishing off some hay. They raised their heads as they saw me coming. When I got close enough I said “hi guys” and parked myself 10 feet away against the fence.
They watched me, I watched them.
Two and a half started to come over. I say two and a half because Cutter and Shana inititated the walk-over, and our Mini Kerrie came along because Shana went.

Once they had arrived at my fencepost I could see that Cutter, our herd leader, was exhausted. His eyes were half shut, his head was hanging a bit lower than normal, low energy all the way around. 
Our other mare, Kaylaa, is in heat and Cutter has been following her, circling her, fending for her, and worrying about her for days. I put my hand on his forehead and said “Oh sweetie, what a hard job you have, taking care of the herd, caring for your girl, you are exhausted.” And, as if he knew that I knew, he lifted his head and placed it gently on my right shoulder to take a cat nap.

The next Mindful Connection is right around the corner. Keep all your senses open.

My impression is that people are really ready for a shift. Ready to connect in ways that aren't taught, because they don't need to be taught. We all have it in us, the ability to build a mutually satisfying relationship with our horses. We did it when we were young. We did not think about it, we loved and they loved back. As adults we think about things too much, Thinking gets in the way of loving.

I sense that a lot of the people interested in my message are just simply looking for a head nod, for an affirmation, a kindred soul. After that ... they are off running. 

One example is this beautiful video created by Shelley, one of the Blue Star Equiculture volunteers. A few days after the first workshop I got an e-mail from Shelley: "Your workshop inspired me do something I have wanted to for along time- express my love for my horses! I made a video about their journey to me."

Please join me in watching this wonderful love letter/video she created in honor of her horses. In honor of all horses.

I do give each horse a treat at night. Around 9/9:30pm I put out the night feed and drop a treat on their hay. In Germany we call that a Betthupferl. A Betthupferl is a piece of chocolate you will usually find on your pillow at any decent Geman B&B.

A recent interaction at the Mindful Connections workshops at Blue Star Horse Sanctuary brought the subject “to treat or not to treat” back into my mind.

While I was talking with some of the workshop participants about the dedication it takes to support a horse with a broken or blemished spirit, one participant, Karen, had gotten up to visit with one of the resident horses. The horse she decided to hang out with was Buford, an 18 year old Appaloosa gelding that had come to the Blue Star a few months earlier.

Later, via Facebook, Karen shared the following about her interaction with Buford.  “I attended this session and it was just amazing. During the last 20 minutes or so of the Mindful Connection session I had to get up and move my frozen feet and toes. I was leaning on the stable door Buford was in. Buford usually ignores me unless I have treats. I've tried before to pet, scratch him or give him a kiss and he pulls away.
So today I followed Nicole's suggestions on communication and making a connection with a horse, I just stood there; after about 10 minutes Buford came over to me and sniffed my camera, jacket, head, and gloves, and then nuzzled me. I just stood there gently talking to him and standing still, no touching.

Then I did something else I would have never thought of doing before this session: I asked him if I could give him a kiss. He moved his head closer to me and I gently gave him a kiss, and he stayed there with me. As I said earlier, Buford has never paid me any mind and was only interested if I had treats. Today when I let him lead the way I was rewarded with a small, short connection to him that I'll have as long as I live.”

When I read Karen’s recount of her experience I immediately thought … he liked her for the treats because he only knew her through her treats. When Karen offered him something else, her presence, Buford actually got to know her. 
In short, a treat lasts until it is chewed up, a moment of connection can last a lifetime.

We can only connect if we bring ourselves. That’s true for any relationship.
I agree with Oprah, in the last O Magazine she said that each of us has an essence, a quality at the very core of our being that makes us who we are. It’s what sets us apart from everyone else. She goes on to say that expressing that essence is one of the greatest joys in life.

My sense is …sometimes we are not sure if our essence is enough. Buford, showed that it is not only enough, but it is essential.
When we bring forth that unique part of us others can feel us, can connect to us.
What fallacy to think the horse will like us for the treats we bring. The horse likes the treat, not us.
Yet when we bring our self … the horse can reach out and into us.

What if you found yourself walking along a road. A dusty farm road surrounded by large fields of alfalfa that went on and on as far as the eye could see.
What if you begin to make out a form coming towards you. A big dark form on 4 legs. As you get closer you realize you are approaching a very large black horse. As you get closer you begin to see him more clearly. He is big, much bigger than you, with a long black mane and tail and a shiny black coat.

You have never seen a horse like this, this big, this beautiful, this impressive. This magnificent horse is slowly walking towards you, on the same path. You feel excited, scared, uncomfortable and small. What if this horse is dangerous? Are horses dangerous you wonder? You realize you really know very little about them. You know that they are domesticated animals and have lived with humans for thousands of years yet you know very little about them. Do they bite? Do they chase? Do they naturally dislike and distrust humans or are they naturally friendly and curious and kind?

What should you do you wonder. You feel vulnerable. You know you can't out run him if he chases you and you know that he is getting closer and very soon you will meet him. He is getting closer and closer and now you can see his eyes, his big dark eyes looking at you. He is calm and his walk is steady and sure. His ears move, like antennae scanning the surroundings, you see them turn towards you and you see the horse lift his head and you hear him snort...not loud but softly blowing out the dusty air.

He lifts his nose towards you as if he is trying to smell you from a distance and he keeps coming closer. He arrives a few feet from you and stops. His head is lifted and he is smelling, trying to understand your scent. You say in a soft voice, “Good boy, or are you a girl?”...you try to get a look underneath his belly and you see he is indeed a male. A beautiful, big, black male horse. You think to yourself my god he is magnificent.  You feel a tingly thrill as you take in his beauty and power and presence, you almost forget that you know nothing about him...for a moment all you know is that you are in the presence of something so incredibly mysterious and awesome that he really defies description.

You can smell his sweet scent, strong and so uniquely his ... you want to breathe in more of it ... you are more comfortable now and as you relax he moves closer. You reach out your hand and offer it to him to smell....not sure of how to approach him. You want to touch him and move in closer to feel him. He comes closer and starts smelling your clothes, and your hands, and your neck as if his smelling was revealing everything about you to him.

He moves back and you move forward and you raise your hand to pet him, he shies and then smells again. You put your hand on his shoulder and run your hand along his enormous body. He must weigh 2,000 lbs you think. He must, he is enormous and beautiful and you feel yourself growing fonder and fonder.

Then he talks. You jump back, your heart racing, it can't be that he just said words … did you really hear them? Then he speaks again. He calls you by your name and begins to tell you who you are. You are scared and confused but you know that every word he shares is the truth. You ask him how he knows you and he tells you that everything you are is in your smell and your posture and in your eyes.

He tells you about your helplessness and mortality. He tells you about the humans' collective capacity for making the world a better place despite the cruelty and violence and colossal levels of ignorance and greed. He tells you about your vulnerabilities, and how being vulnerable is not an inadequacy not a limitation or weakness, but rather a sign of availability to hear … to listen, a sign to receive and empathize.
And that your personal defeats and failures are nothing less than opportunities to learn and grow. He tells you about the injustices and exploitations that might have caused your suffering. But he also tells you that there is joy, and hope and even calm amidst all the challenges you are facing. You are hope he tells you, you are the one who can make a difference for him, for his herd, for his ancestors. 
Then he pauses, your head is reeling, you want to know more, "How can I help?" you wonder … you are yearning for more, more revelations. You take a breath and as you do he speaks again, he asks you for something, something to do for him. He asks you to help him.

Then you wake up....you are in your bed in the middle of the night...for a moment you are confused and shaken and not sure of where you are and then you remember....something was asked of you....you were asked to help.

You still your mind ... and like a distant memory you remember him asking ... is it possible for us humans to shift our focus from needing and wanting attention to giving it instead? Can we have an equally enriching relationship with our horses as we interchangeably show up as teacher and student?  Can we put him first and forget about ourselves while we unconditionally give everything necessary to help the horses’ lives become better? Can we connect to our wisdom? Connect with our senses and our intuition, as part of an essential change so we can arrive back at a place of authenticity and inner knowing? If we can and if we do, he is convinced that there are amazing discoveries to be made. Not only will we be restored in a physical, emotional and spiritual way but the world as a whole will be made better.

The horses are still with us as they have been for the past 6000 years. They are alongside us waiting for us to wake up and see the miracle of our relationship and all the gifts it holds for us. Can we receive it all by simply putting them first … for everyone’s sake? It is time.
Let’s get started!

We started a waiting list for the workshop on February 5th ... because the last spot went this morning. 
If the weather stays decent, we will add another winter date.
So if you're ready, sign up. We want to keep in touch with you about our plans.

Stay tuned!

If you would like to take a glimpse, follow the link and check it out. Every topic is really interesting and informative. Watch out, you might get hooked on the Learning Curve.

Since the first workshop was filled so quickly, we added a second date ... February 5th. If you are ready to hear and share about the horse's spirit, sign up and join us. I can't wait.