Mindless Drivel - The Mind of an Idiotic Genius

Bitch, WTF is You Talking About?

2011-11-02T11:28:00.001-04:00

Haftin_To_Be_Uproared_-_Occupy_Atlanta.wmv Watch on Posterous

Ugh...I could say something...But I think she said enough for all of us...Do us all a favor...#OccupyTheEndOfAShotgun....

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

Emerson's Silliness

2011-09-23T18:28:00.001-04:00

See the full gallery on Posterous

Sent from my iPhone

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

A Little Something for the Baby's Room

2011-03-05T22:54:00.001-05:00

I figured since Emerson Duane named after Duane Allman, I should have something in his room referencing his name sake. I looked at tons of posters, both framed and unframed. Then I found this work of art below. I think it will work just fine....Just fine indeed...

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

My Fortune Cookie at Lunch

2011-03-02T12:47:00.001-05:00

How does it know???

Thanks,

-Nick

Sent from Nick's iPhone4

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

Letter to Emerson Duane aka "E-Rock"

2011-03-02T08:32:00.001-05:00

Emerson Duane: AKA “E-Rock”

Here we are, 2 weeks away from your birth and I am just now writing you a letter. With Keaton I admit I had written a letter earlier, but who cares really? It’s inevitable, second children get left out sometimes. Your mother can relate, she was a second child as well. And while your Uncles Chris’s baby book was probably overflowing with extra pages of notes, pictures, and hair clippings; your mother’s baby book was mysteriously lost in a house fire, or so the story goes. Now that I think of it, I am not even sure if Keaton’s baby book was ever even opened. Ah…The joys of parenthood.

I can see your mother is not enjoying being pregnant quite as much this time around. She’s way more tired this time and exhausted all the time. Just know it is not your fault and she would happily do it all over again and again. We are both already so much in love with you and I’m probably a little more excited to meet you than I was with your older brother. This is one of the advantages of being second born. Of course, there are a lot of great things that first-born children get to experience with their first time parents, but the same thing goes for the second child. While it might seem redundant, it’s not, it’s just different. Your mother and I are very curious how you will compare with your older brother. How will you be similar? How will you be different? Who will you look like? We cannot wait to see these things take shape, as you both learn from each other. I cannot wait until March 15^th and we throw on some Duane Allman and let you meet the world.

You were always in the back of our mind after Keaton was born. We always knew we would have at least 2 children but we were never sure if or when we would be ready. When I say ready I am simply referring to the stress and fear that comes with babies and children. Maybe someday you will experience this, and maybe you won’t, but one thing is for certain….you cannot quite understand until you are there…living this experience. Every heartbeat, every ultrasound, every doctor appointment…I was there with your mom holding her hand and sharing in the joy. It makes the journey a somewhat different experience. Keaton was even there for your 3d/4d ultrasounds.

Speaking of Keaton, I can’t wait for you to meet your big brother. Your mom and I try to talk to him and explain it, I’m not sure he really truly understands it, but there are times when he climbs up your mom’s lap, to give you a good night hug and kiss. He seems excited to be a big brother, and I think you both will be very close, as you should be. Family is the most important thing in this world. Your family is what comes first…Always. Never forget that son.

It’s been almost three years hanging out with your brother but when I think about the years coming up with both of you, I am totally in awe. I cannot wait to experience you as siblings, laughing, loving, fighting, plotting….I know it’s going to be hard at times but I think it’s going to be a lot of fun too. More than anything though, I want you to feel safe and loved. I want you to know that you and your brother’s happiness and well being trump mine and your mother’s. We have and will continue to make sacrifices so that you don’t have to. I’ll write you another letter after you are born. Just know that you are immensely loved by all. We have 2 short weeks to go. Your mother and I can’t wait to meet you. We all can’t wait to meet you.

Love,

Mommy, Daddy, and Keaton

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

Do You Smell What Special K is Cooking???

2011-02-22T16:38:00.001-05:00

Thanks,

-Nick

Sent from Nick's iPhone4

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

Valentine's Day Sucks Balls...

2011-02-14T10:11:00.001-05:00

It’s official. Valentine’s Day has now passed New Year’s Eve as my least favorite holiday. Yup, I hate it more than Arbor Day, Bastille Day, Grandparents Day, Ash Wednesday-- whatever you got.

I don’t really recall but years ago, around fourth and fifth grade, I imagine I loved Valentine’s Day. Why not? I was the chubby but good-looking kid who always received the most valentines from my female classmates. One year the teacher, for whatever reason, conducted his own private poll (he’d be arrested for this today, no doubt) and every girl in the class whispered in his ear that she had a crush on yours truly. And who could blame them? However, today, after being marrried, fat and happy, if a woman under the age of seventy smiles at me at the mall I practically skip all the way back to my house. Sigh..... I’ll be right back…I'm going to go drown myself...

OK, enough with the self-pity.... I think I might have enjoyed the holiday back before the spoilsport Christians wrapped their self-righteous fingers around it. In Ancient Rome February 14th was celebrated as a day to honor the god Juno. And the next day was the Feast of Lupercalia, when all the young women in town each got to draw the name of a young man to whom they would be “paired” for the duration of the festival, and it wasn’t for volleyball if you know what I mean.....For the slow....It was so they could get bucknasty and get their freak on, and that is what I call a holiday worth taking a personal day for!

I’ve been uncomfortable for a while about our modern bogus celebration of love, but it really hit home last year at work as I watched woman after woman receive the flowers or candy or stuffed animals that were being delivered to the office in a constant stream throughout the day. You could tell the bell had rung, the gates were open and the race was on! And woe to the sorry-ass husband who didn’t at least finish in the Show position in this race, the ultimate competition to see who is truly “the most beloved.” Ugh...I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...

The thing is the idea of Valentine’s Day is all right in its own way (though I’d still rather draw names and get some strange) but it’s become such a commercialized scam. I couldn’t go on living if I didn’t believe in my heart that there is a special super-white-hot circle of Hell (just above the one reserved for the Bin Laden family) waiting for those flower sellers who double or triple the price on a wilting bunch of flowers because they know that we, the husbands and boyfriends, and God help your wallet if you happen to be both, don’t have a choice.

We do, of course, have a choice, but even I, the most stubborn asshole you’re ever likely to meet, seem powerless to fight this annoying holiday. Last year I caved at the last minute and found myself in a line at Kroger hurriedly forking over twenty clams for one of their few remaining limp and fading mittfuls of short stemmed roses. And hating myself for doing it. Ah, well in the end we will do whatever it takes to make our loved ones smile just a bit...

Christian legend has it that St. Valentine, the clown credited with starting this hokum, was a priest who was imprisoned for performing outlawed marriage ceremonies around 270 AD. He would leave notes for that hot piece of ass, the jailer’s daughter, and sign them, “from Your Valentine.” Then he was executed. Sucks for him...I hope he at least got a handjob in the corner or something before his execution...Otherwise the whole thing would seem kind of pointless wouldn't it?

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

Keaton Made Rabbit Ears at School

2010-08-12T21:10:00.001-04:00

Just had to share this...

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

Creep Says BLOWJOB on MSNBC

2010-04-24T12:56:00.001-04:00

Thanks to my man Opie from The Opie and Anthony show for sharing this....Hilarious!!

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

Keaton Rocking to Kings of Leon

2010-04-06T07:10:00.001-04:00

Posted via email from Nick's Random Musings

Always Puts a Smile on My Face....

2010-02-12T11:28:00.001-05:00

via metacafe.com

Posted via web from Nick's Random Musings

A Great Philosophy on Life....

2010-02-04T09:31:00.001-05:00

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, When 24 hours in a day is not enough; remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and start to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - Family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.

'Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Posted via web from Nicholas's posterous

Embrace Diversity??

2010-01-12T10:47:00.001-05:00

I went to the web site of some big bank that proudly states "WE EMBRACE DIVERSITY." Following the big obnoxious banner at the top of the page is a statement saying "[we] believe that we must engage a proactive, 'inclusive' process to source people of color and women, as well as Anglo men." People of color? What the hell is people of color, supposed to mean and why are they being singled out?

This whole notion of "embracing diversity" is inherently bullshit because it's based on the following assumption: people who look different must think different because of it; otherwise, why the hell embrace anything? Why not just assume that diversity comes from within, regardless of their skin color, sex, age or religion? If people who look different don't necessarily think differently, which they don't, then aren't they essentially discriminating against them by "embracing" them as being "diverse"?

Just the sound of the phrase makes me mad.. "embrace diversity"... SCREW YOU. I'm tired of the bullshit phrases. "You win some, you lose some." No shit? "Never drive faster than your angels can fly." Shitty metaphor on a shitty bumper sticker on a shitty car. It doesn't mean ANYTHING. "I don't drive fast, I just fly low." GO TO HELL. "Save a tree, send an email." How about you save five seconds of my life and leave off the shitty quote from the bottom of your email so the internet isn't congested with your bullshit signature file instead? I've decided that from now on, every time I see the phrase "save a tree, send an email," I'm going to promptly crumple up a clean sheet of paper and throw it away, just out of spite.

Posted via web from Verbal Diarrhea

Tiger Woods Sets The Record Straight...

2009-12-16T08:18:00.001-05:00

I am Tiger Woods from TWoods

Posted via web from Verbal Diarrhea

Taylor Swift Turns 20...

2009-12-14T11:41:00.001-05:00

Now normally you would never find stupid news like this here...But I just want to share this tidbit. Because it finally means I can share with others my desire to bang this chick's brains out. I want to do things that are only legal in like 3 countries with her, let her werewolf queer boyfriend films the whole thing and then post it to youtube for the world to see, and no one can label me a sex offender now.

I mean look at this chick...She's like the innocent girl next door. She has no idea I'm a sick perverted weirdo who wants to masturbate with IcyHot into her hairbrush...I'm just kidding guys, come on who would masturbate with IcyHot?? Seriously though what guy in his right mind would not want to be the guy to teach her what Tiger Woods wife finally learned...That guys deep down are all pieces of shit, and we only want one thing from as many women. or men whichever the case may be, from as many people as we can get to give it to us. Some of us will eventually grow up and get married and choose to no longer partake in this practice. But that doesn't mean we never think about it...Still some of us grow up and get married, and continue to poke anything that blinks their eye, i.e. Tiger Woods. Anyway, I'm rambling; the point is now that she's 20 I can make sexual references about Taylor and not have anyone call Chris Hansen to have me meet him in a kitchen with beer, condoms, and a transcript.

So happy birthday Taylor...Get drunk, get naked, make some bad decisions, let people video tape it, and let us enjoy it. The Photoshopped nude fakes just don't do it for me anymore...I know your not really a 40DD, and only J-Lo and Kim Kardashian have an ass like that...

Posted via email from Verbal Diarrhea

You Know Someone is Getting Fired Over This

2009-12-14T08:43:00.001-05:00

Posted via email from Nicholas's posterous

Kicking It Old School

2009-10-22T09:21:00.001-04:00

Sent from my iPhone

Posted via email from Nicholas's posterous

Little Man Learning to Shred

2009-10-16T18:41:00.001-04:00

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Sent from my iPhone

Posted via email from Nicholas's posterous

Little Man Chomping on Fries

2009-10-14T19:14:00.001-04:00

Sent from my iPhone

Posted via email from Nicholas's posterous

Evening view of Georgia National Fair

2009-10-12T12:18:00.001-04:00

Sent from my iPhone

Posted via email from Nicholas's posterous

Things I Have Said At Least Once This Week

2009-09-17T11:23:00.001-04:00

Do NOT put that in your mouth.
Don’t stand on the table.
Stop yelling.
See how daddy's pee-pee goes in the toilet.
That’s not nice.
No matter how long you cry, you’ll still have to take a nap.
You don't want a cracker?? But that’s what you just asked me for.
Do you have poop pants?
STOP.SAYING.NO.
Why did you put that in there?
Hahaha. Ok, really, don’t honk Mommy’s boobies. Hahahahahaha.
Seriously, you really did just ask me for this exact thing, why are screaming no when I try to give you what you wanted?
That is NOT edible.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. Repeating doesn’t help.
If you stand on that again I'm taking it away from you.
No, we are not going in the car. We just got out of it.
No, Daddy doesn’t doesn't like it when you stick your fingers in his ears
Why are you being so loud?
Get your fingers out of your mouth.
Why did you spit that out?
Do you want a knuckle sandwich??
No, No only daddy flushes the toilet.
Yes, you have to clean the food off of your hands...no saving it for later.
Please do not lick your hands...God only knows where they have been.
No, son that's not a toy, that is a tampon. Give it back to Mommy, please.
Do not try to drink your entire cup of milk in one loooong sip please...
Don’t hit people in the head!
What is that smell? Is that you??
I have no idea what you’re trying to say. I’m as frustrated as you are, REALLY.
Yes buddy that is Kroger....(The 5th one we've passed now)
Son believe it or not....Some people don’t like it when you yell at them.
Say you’re sorry. You need to say, “Sorry for throwing my car at you, Mommy.”
Cry all you want I'm still not going to let you eat your crayons.
You are not supposed to ride on that.
It’s really not nice to smear your cereal bar and crackers on the mirror.
That ball will not come out from under the sofa no matter how loudly you scream at it.
I refuse to speak to you until you stop crying and screaming.
HEY!! SIT IN YOUR BIG BOY CHAIR NOW!! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT...(Followed by a list of everything he's done wrong all day)
NO SIR!! SIT BACK DOWN!! (As he smiles and runs away)
I think you I've said NO for the 239,785,349,823rd time. Please Stop it or I will spank you.
How many times did daddy say stop it, before he spanked you.
I know you like it when I pass the ther cars buddy but daddy can't pass every car on the interstate.
Stop smacking mommy, She's trying to sleep.
No this is daddy's you have your food. (Cue excessive dramatic hyperventalating crying and a couple tears forced out)

Posted via web from Nicholas's posterous

All This Kid Wanted to Do Was Sit Down...

2009-09-15T09:38:00.001-04:00

via stltoday.com

Let me just say this sickens me to watch people cheer a kid get mobbed and beat down...If I had a son and I saw him on the bus and he did not help this kid, I would probably beat his ass at home. Where was the bus driver? Why didn't anyone stop it? Where is Reverend Al and the ACLU? These double standards in America are killing me!

Posted via web from Nicholas's posterous

DJ AM is Dead....Who Gives a Shit??

2009-08-31T11:31:00.001-04:00

People need to trade MTV in for a book or two.

Here's a list of recommendations.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

1984 by George Orwell

The Republic by Plato

Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac

The Iliad and Odyssey of Homer

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

Walden by Henry David Thoreau

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Bluebeard by Kurt Vonnegut

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

Ulysses by James Joyce

The Young Man’s Guide by William Alcott

Crime And Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse

The Art of Warfare by Sun Tzu

Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

East of Eden by John Steinbeck

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

The Politics by Aristotle

First Edition of the The Boy Scout Handbook

Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller

The Naked and The Dead by Norman Mailer

Hatchet by Gary Paulsen

Animal Farm by George Orwell

Beyond Good and Evil by Freidrich Nietzsche

The Federalist Papers by Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, and James Madison

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

Essential Manners for Men by Peter Post

Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly

Hamlet by Shakespeare

A Separate Peace by John Knowles

A Farewell To Arms by Ernest Hemingway

The Stranger by Albert Camus

The Pearl by John Steinbeck

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole

Foucault’s Pendulum – Umberto Eco

Fear and Trembling by Soren Kierkegaard

Paradise Lost by John Milton

Cannery Row by John Steinbeck

American Boys’ Handy Book

King Solomon’s Mines by H. Rider Haggard

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells

Malcolm X: The Autobiography

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

All Quiet on The Western Front by Erich Maria Remarq

The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane

Lives of the Noble Greeks and Romans by Plutarch

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn and Hal Iggulden

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

The Histories by Herodotus

From Here to Eternity by James Jones

The Frontier in American History by Frederick Jackson Turner

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig

Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posted via web from Nicholas's posterous

I Have a New Found Love for KFC...

2009-08-26T10:52:00.001-04:00

New KFC “Double Down” Dumps the Bun

By KATIE LESLIE

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Sometimes a sandwich is so big, so tasty and so thick that those carb-loaded bookends we call buns just aren’t necessary.

That’s the premise behind Kentucky Fried Chicken’s latest calorie-laden creation: the Double Down Chicken Sandwich, two chicken fillets hugging cheeses, bacon and sauce, sans the bun.

KFC hasn’t released actual caloric counts, but has told media outlets such as the Huffington Post that it estimates the sandwich to weigh in at roughly 600 calories. The Vancouver Sun, however, estimates the Double Down at nearly double that number, with 1,228 calories.

KFC has made more than one headline this year with new products. Untold numbers of consumers flocked to the chain earlier this year hoping to get a free taste of KFC’s new grilled chicken. But Georgians shouldn’t rush to a nearby KFC for this bird, however, as it’s only being tested in parts of Nebraska and Rhode Island.

No word on whether the Double Down will be offered with two grilled fillets, instead.

Posted via web from Nicholas's posterous

Economics...

2009-08-21T11:44:00.001-04:00

It is the month of August, in a small Georgia country town. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted.

It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only place to stay, a small bed and breakfast, lays a $100 bill on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the $100 bill and runs to pay his debt to the town butcher.

The Butcher takes the $100 bill, and runs to pay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig grower takes the $100 bill, and runs to pay his debt to the feed and seed.

The owner of the feed and seed takes the $100 bill and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt to the hotel proprietor, for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there, with the $100 bill.

The hotel proprietor then lays the $100 bill back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes downstairs.

After inspecting the rooms, he says that he did not like any of them, takes his $100 bill and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly how the United States Government is doing business today.

Posted via web from Nicholas's posterous