minimalist attitudes with big aspirations.

NEW WORDPRESS BLOG

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:13:00 +0000

http://mdalpont.wordpress.com/

Apologies

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 06:44:00 +0000

I am not ignoring this blog by any means...but I am in the process of setting up a wordpress account. My blog, from now on will be located there. I should have it up and decently running by next week hopefully. Keep checking in!

Your Flowers Are Dying and So Are You.

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 06:30:00 +0000

To be jaded by youth is a beautiful thing. It’s hopes, dreams, and a whole life that awaits for you to create it. Now, you don’t have to be young to catch this fiery spirit, but it is more predominant in teenagers and young adults…proven fact. Some say because youth are naïve and have no idea about the reality that will soon come to them. But I prefer to look at it in a different way. I prefer to see it as an opportunity, simply by the outlook you take in life. Young kids are more willing take a chance, a leap of faith, without hesitation.
As people get older, responsibility starts to become an excuse to forget excitement, to forget how to enjoy yourself properly and make opportunities to enrich your life. Cleaning the house, taking care of the kids (if you have any), doing laundry, going to the dentist, getting groceries, working the 9 to 5, planning dinner, feeding the dog, getting an oil change, and the list goes on and on.

Where in that list does it say “get excited about something new in your life?” Nowhere. Life becomes a list of chores and everyone forgets to enjoy anything, much less be excited about it. Granted that these everyday tasks are unavoidable, it is no excuse for your lack of enthusiasm. It’s called: STOP BEING LAZY.

You know that one night you have free? And all you want to do is stay home? Yes, you’ve been staying extra late at work. Yes, you hardly get any sleep. Yes, the flowers in the vase by your window are wilting—but what you don’t realize, is that those flowers aren’t the only thing expiring, so is your spirit. And that is dangerous territory to contend with. Do not go there.

So let’s make a solution. When an old friend calls you last minute to go to some dive bar—that probably smells like piss and musty walls—GO. Even if you don’t want to. Perhaps that one night will turn out to be the best night you had in awhile. Maybe even all year. After all, the best nights are the ones you don’t plan all the way through.

Where am I going with all this? People do not make enough of an effort to enjoy their lives, and push themselves to do things that will make them happier people.

The unexpected is all around us—we just have to expose ourselves to it, to reap its benefits.

My Car as a Time Machine, oh yeah and ranch

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 08:43:00 +0000

How the night ended:
Reflecting back on old friends, lovers and situations brings a smile to my face. Certain songs remind me of a different person and a different time. I love when I get in those happy moods when I am driving--those moods that make me reflect and see how far I've come, those moods that make me want to dance in the car with the music blaring, those moods that get me lost in an old memory and an old (but good) song.

How the night started:
Today, I had dinner with an old friend and her son. I love hanging around kids because sometimes they are the funniest characters. Her son loves ranch, which I naturally understand--people who do not like ranch have a screw loose in their head. Ranch is the best dip for french fries, chicken strips, vegetables, and hot wings--which is essentially the base of any good food pyramid. Anyhow, we went out to eat at a restaurant and his mom asked him what he wanted. His natural response:

"Something with ranch."

His answer was all too perfect.
So I began to scour the menu to find what would be suitable to use ranch on. The solution? He beat me to the punch line...steak and french fries. Dragging out each dab of his french fry into the ranch container, he slowly consumed the whole cup. He polished off his whole plate, only leaving the salad greens on the plate. Then, content and full, he began bopping up and down to the rhythm of the song playing overhead.

Moments like that make me appreciate what it's like to be a kid. If only I could go back for a day.

Vegas Update #1: Contradiction, the temporary, and meaning.

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 07:21:00 +0000

I am running into a dilemma. I see Las Vegas as something I do not completely understand. The transformation it undergoes when the sun goes down is nothing short of a miracle. Going from barren and lonely to inviting and attractive, is something I'm not sure makes sense to me. Is barren and lonely dependent on inviting and attractive, or are they like two faces to one coin--independent, with each operating on it's own axis?

Another question I have is:

Can something that you know is going to be temporary, be something meaningful? You know Sin City won't be a place of residence--chances are, you are just there for the week, or even the weekend. AND there is a reason why they say: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Because you generally act like a fool when in Vegas, but not so much everywhere else. It's the norm to see cracked out brides, drunken men stumbling in dress shirts and shiny shoes and people throwing away money in casinos, as if they had all the money in the world. People don't act like this in the real world, at home, in front of the kids, or at work with their bosses--people don't even think of getting away with it. But in Vegas, you can create an identity and discard it as fast as you created it. The notion of the temporary, can be a liberating thing, especially when attached to the infamous five letter word...

V E G A S.

Is Ignorance Really Bliss?

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 08:08:00 +0000

To tell the tale of all the misfortunes of the world is a daunting task. Ever heard of the expression:
"What they don't know, won't hurt them?"
It's a bunch of lies and a cutting truth at the same time. The more you know about how things work, and the "cultural capital" hierarchy, the more you wonder...
Would ignorant people even want to know the truth, if they can't change the outcome of their situation?

Having knowledge about something that is out of reach does not equate to a pleasant reality. It's as simple as material goods...before that you knew that cars like BMW's existed you didn't want one. But now that you do know, that is all you think about, and your Toyota sedan doesn't catch the light quite like it used to...it looks quite dull in fact.

Who has power in this world? Rich people. Why do they have power? Because they're rich. How did they get to power? They had more resources available to them, because they are rich. Deciding the fate of an overwhelming majority is left in the hands of crooked politics and educated yuppies. It's a foolproof system....you can't win. The politics have the yuppies running in circles, too busy to use the educated minds, paid for by ridiculous amounts of money at ivy league schools.

How do u break the cycle is like asking how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop. The answer isn't worth knowing, unless put into action.

What is LOVE?

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 22:53:00 +0000

A character from a movie once said:
"Love is just love."

Listening to that quote at the time, made me think about all the assumptions I had about the word myself. Love. What does it mean? After, all it is a very loaded word--one that has one of the highest values and meanings. Why does love imply a whole list of different things? Can it not exist without all the implied meanings? What if love doesn't mean falling head over heels upon locking eyes with that handsome someone? What if it doesn't mean loyalty, or fidelity, or even trust?

The trouble with extracting all these meanings from it, is we don't know what to think about love otherwise. It becomes a mystery. We don't like mystery...we like to know the facts and have it planned out, you know: an expectation of what love should be. But I don't think there is an explanation. Look at us. We aren't perfect, and we aren't made to be. We lie, cheat, steal and hurt the ones we love: most without the intention of doing so. Rather we do these things because we are hiding from ourselves and our responsibilities. Does that mean we don't love the other person to whom we do such awful deeds to? No. It means love is imperfect and all those expectations cannot really explain what love is. It is a mystery that we desperately try to solve by piling on attributes of our own version of a so-called "Love."

The Beatles once said:
"All you need is love."

Such a heavy responsibility, for one small word. Think about that.

Food, Money and Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 03:54:00 +0000

Food, food, food. What can I say? A life long romance. Food brings people together, creates atmosphere, and it sure makes me smile. I totally understand emotional eating. Problem is, i don't only eat when I'm sad or miserable--I eat when I'm happy and content. They say certain foods create a memory; everytime you eat that food you are looking for comfort in that memory. Makes sense, I suppose. When the world is spinning non-stop and life is moving at an alarming pace, people want the familiar. And what better way than satisfying your taste buds with your fav. foods?

Current favorite foods/drinks:

Korean bbq tacos w/ kimchi
Lemon bars
Riesling wine
Pasta w/ homemade vodka sauce

Now, let's talk about money. No one has any of it these days. I'm starting to think this economy is a cruel blessing. It's a test. Without money, people are forced to go back to the things that matter and the people that they can depend on. It makes us all evaluate the lives we have been leading. My family, my coworkers, my friends, my friends' families, everyone has felt the brunt of lay-offs, job security, and pay-cuts. No one wants to hire, and if they do the pay is not nearly what it was a few years back. And this ties into my next subject...Christmas. Obviously with less money, less people shop. With maxed out credit cards and billing statements ignored and piling on top of one another, people spend only what they have, or at least for the most part. Going out the day after Thanksgiving shocked me. When I was a child, I remember going out with my mom and the zoo it was even at Target. This year, it seemed just like a regular sunny Saturday morning. Albeit I wasn't out with the 4 a.m. crowd, I know in the years past it has been a scramble and a hay-day.

For me personally, this Christmas was a great one simply because of my new attitude towards it. When you're a child and a young adult, you embrace the gift-getting portion of the holiday and aspire for that unattainable and sometimes pricey gift. Moving out and learning how to manage money, sure makes you reconsider how you spend your earnings. I expected nothing really this year, just glad to be receiving anything I got. The surprise of the great gifts (big or small), that weren't on your list are the best to receive. A gorgeous ring and a colorful camera are among some of my bigger gifts this year. Hopefully, with the new camera I can actually post some of my own pictures on this blog FINALLY. I have been wanting to do that for awhile.

p.s. I can't wait to eat my chocolates (Nuts N' Chews from Sees) and watch one of my favorite DVDs (ahem...I Am Sam).

NEW PROJECT

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 03:33:00 +0000

Ever since i finished my last project I have been wanting to write a piece on Vegas. But I don't want it to be something out of some drunken debauchery, a.k.a. The Hangover (the movie) or even some acid acumen, ahem, may I say Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

I want this to be slightly different...I want it to be written from the perspective of Vegas itself. Now I'm not trying to channel Kafka in anyway, but I might have to wrestle with some of the tactics he uses. I definitely need to think this idea through, as it could be an epic fail, BUT I'd rather it be a brilliant success.

My ideas so far just consist of a string of adjectives: filth, glitz, glamour, false-grandeur, gaudy, dirty, seductive, and amusing.

Please feel free to throw ideas out there...I need all the suggestions I can get.

Disclaimer

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:18:00 +0000

For those of you who actually read this thing...if you are smart, you will take my words for what they are and acknowledge that sometimes I play devil's advocate.

What I write is a stream of emotion, logic, and idealistic pretense...and all three are battling for the top spot.

Stop Whining They Say

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 04:55:00 +0000

So I called my friend today and she told me to stop whining. And that she had never heard me like this before. And I started to think.

Why are these things bugging me so much?

I’ve always prided myself in being the logical thinker and problem solving things, especially before they escalate. I’ve always convinced myself there is a logical solution for everything. Problem is people are not logical, situations become illogical, and somethings just make absolutely no sense. What are you supposed to do in a world like that? Suck it up? Fight it out to your death? Adapt?

Ask me and I’d tell you I’m confused. I’m a very you-shape-your-own-destiny kind of person. To be in a helpless state is the ultimate challenge, the ultimate of the ultimate—it’s bloody knuckles and gritting teeth for a person like me. Where does all this anger come from? Perhaps I’m too driven of a person, to accept defeat. Perhaps there is too much inside of me telling me I’m right. But these are all just a perhaps.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they say the difficult things in life shape character. Some things are just not meant to shape anything. They just shouldn’t exist. Try that for a perhaps.

Gum Galore

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 06:18:00 +0000

My favorite is the fruity kind. Yeah, mint does the trick, and sometimes it's the best option after a garlic drenched meal, or a raw fish night of sushi. But, fruity gum just tastes better. And frankly it's more fun. Why do you think gum companies are always coming out with new, wacky flavors? I've tried them all--from sangria, to pomegranate, to passion fruit, to apple, to strawberry, to citrus, to lemonade, to watermelon, to fruit punch, to mojito, to lime, to raspberry, to mango, to melon, and there are probably a few I'm missing in this list. Regardless of the new flavor, I'm usually willing to buy it at least once.

I was at the grocery store the other day with my boyfriend, and as we were checking out I, of course, was scanning the gum shelf. I always scan that section when I'm checking out, it's my impulsive one dollar buy every shopping trip--one dollar!... give me one good reason why not. Anyway... My boyfriend is paying and I mention the gum looks really good, annnnd it's new annnnd it claims to have more flavor. My boyfriend throws it on the conveyor belt. Guess he is a one dollar splurger too. Better yet, the gum is "buy one get one free." Score. One for him and one for me. Upon leaving the store, I knew I'd have a piece in my mouth once I hit the car.

Later on:

I left him alone for a few hours and found crumpled gum wrappers waiting for me. He liked it so much he had chewed on four pieces.

Next morning, we eat breakfast. He brushes his teeth. And next thing:

"Babe I just love this gum."

Another wrapper is peeled off before I can even utter a word.

Now, join the fruit craze. Give up the mint--its for squares.

Top 5 Picks:

1. Trident Layers-Wild-strawberry+Tangy-citrus

Pro:Most intense fruit flavor, almost starburst juicy

Con:The intense flavor mellows out fairly quickly

2. Orbit-Mint mojito

Pro:Great flavor, refreshing, and non-alcoholic

Con:It tends to taste odd after certain meals, just like you wouldn't have a minty-sweet mojito with every meal

3. Trident- (CLASSIC ALL TIME FAVORITE) Tropical Twist

Pro:Great flavor lasts, and its citrus enough to balance out the fruit

Con:There is NO con

4.Wrigley 5-Rain

Pro:Strongest mint gum to buy that doesn't come in the foil packaging

Con:If you don't chew the whole pack within a couple weeks, the pieces get soggy

5. Orbit Mist-Watermelon Spring

Pro: Fruity and minty at the same time--clean, yet fruity

Con: The consistency becomes pasty after a bit of chewing

Crazy is Productive

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:58:00 +0000

Today I had a conversation with a crazy old man. He told me to get business cards and to never stop writing. He said I need to send out my material all the time, and everything will take off when I least expect it. He said that he could tell I was going to be big, and that my presence was a dead give away (p.s. this thing about "my presence" I've heard a lot, not sure what it all means). Now, people who say that crazy people don't contribute anything to the universe better eat their words--and I mean chew, swallow, and digest into acidic pulp. Talking to this man made me think of three things:

1. How crazy people probably have the most to contribute to the world, because everything is abnormally unfiltered. Where their world ends and ours begins is a blur to them. Words and thoughts seem to come from a more unaltered source. When you only have one universe revolving around your head, I'd imagine these people are lost in this universe, so lost that ordinary practices of daily interactions and societal pressures means practically nothing. Crazy people have their own demons to deal with, so much that the real world around them is only a tupperware container for holding their own universe. My point is that crazy people can contribute and be productive--just not in the usual manner we are accustomed to.

2. I really can never stop writing, and I do believe in my dreams even if no one else does. When you do what you believe in and sweat and breath it everyday, other people start to follow. How bad do you want it?

3. Women and professionalism. When a women receives a compliment from a man, relating to her skill and talent, when is it genuine? And when is it because he wants to get in her pants and feels flattered by her attention? I feel like this area puzzles me. Is business talk ever JUST business talk? It never seems to be so.

After that man left, I began to smile, because I had just gotten a reality check about who I am, and where I want to be. In all the things that have currently been going on in my life I almost forgot the drive, the energy, and the creativity I have had building up inside of me. I need to keep my creative projects going, or my soul might begin to rust. Never. I can't let it and I won't.

9/22/09

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:42:00 +0000

Ironic the desire that lies behind the unreachable. Maybe desire always wants to test the limit of the universe, and the gap between the goal and the reality is the only alluring thing. The gap is the seduction, like a mosquito to a bright light we lazily buzz, hypnotized, toward the light. Sometimes at the end of the seduction, we find out the light is nothing but a barrier between ourselves and what we really want. What we want isn’t really what the light means, it is what it represents.

Sugar and Sun

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 23:03:00 +0000

Sitting in the haze of afternoon sunlight.

Yellow rays breezed through the vertical white,

blinding vision and kissing her skin with an unfiltered glow.

The idle nature of the cushioned mattress

and the daze of libidinal energy.

The shadow cast by millions of worries softened into

flecks of skin and caramel eyes.

Time lapsed like folds of cream and dough.

The smell of chocolate traveled from the stove to the bedroom in sugary bursts.

If the world was perfect,

it would stay like this for just awhile longer.

music and musicians

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 18:18:00 +0000

I've neglected my blog for awhile now. "Money ain't a thing, but being broke is a B."- Definite.

Last night reminded me of who I am and what makes me happy. I went to a showcase that wasn't exactly one of the best (I'm putting this mildy), but I enjoyed just being there because I was surrounded by people who write their own music, make their own lyrics, and have their own stage presence...some had better presence than other. Thing is, each person was out there doing their thing, producing something creative and letting it be known to the world. As I sat in the artsy-fartsy outdoor patio of the "bohemian shindig," I watched the artificial light casting a yellow glow on the performers and wondered what it would be like to feel adrenaline pulsating through my veins and the sea of emotional angst as I took the stage. Musicians cross a powerful and fragile line. The vulnerability of exposing your inner thoughts to the world, the vulnerability of commanding a stage where people are more ready to criticize than praise--the power in possessing that stage, the power in owning every chord progression and lyric, the power of swaying a crowd into the mood and ambiance of the song. Yes, I fantasized a little about what that would be like, I have since I fell in love with music at a young age. I find myself trying to be surrounded by these type of people. I'm a lover of music, and I appreciate the craft as well. On the way back home, a friend showed us his new music. And then proceeded to rap out the lyrics. I knew at that moment that is exactly where I was supposed to be, and I hoped that I never ceased to be surrounded by such a thing.

flies and ice cubes

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 06:35:00 +0000

I apologize for my absence. Things have been a bit hectic as of late. I have been meaning to write a blog about people being in a rush. Why does it always seem like faster is better? Maybe for a high-performance car, but for life this doesn't work so well. Wisdom doesn't happen over night, it happens with years of experience and life. For something to be great and truly last in it's greatness, there can be no rush. My current situation is urging me to get job, and of course I want an amazing job, but I know I can't rush the process. As much as I want to land certain jobs, in the end I will end up where I am supposed to. But let us clarify one thing, not-rushing does not mean being lazy. Things don't just fall in your lap, while you wait on the side-lines. It's about actively participating in what you want your life to be, and then letting the rest fall into place. That cliche saying: patience is a virtue, cannot be denied. But persistence should be attached. I'm at a pretty good place in my life--physically and mentally, now everything else that is trying to bring me down is just a fly buzzing by on a hot summer day, easily slapped away with a fly-swatter and kept away with a cold stream of calamity.

The Limits

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 04:24:00 +0000

The limits of language. The ability of language to convey certain messages is all really an interpretation. Forewarning, in this post I might get a little loopy and lost in a theoretical mess. The purpose of language is to communicate and get across an expression of something. Now, how close can we be to this true expression ("thing" we are trying to communicate)? The written language is subject to so many interpretations: are we really getting across what we are trying to capture in that one sentence, in that paragraph, in that book? As a writer, I have always thought about the limits of language. Next question: the power of words. To convey that perfect thought, feeling, emotion, you need the perfect word. Vocabulary is a writer's best friend. BUT, even with this tool, there are so many imbued meanings to words and what they imply. The meaning of words are constantly changing....And hypothetically speaking let's say these words conveyed exactly what we meant, what does the string of words (in the sentence) mean? Is this the most accurate way to convey a message, a sequential-ized order of words? For example, let's say we see an event unfold before our eyes...perhaps a baseball game. Now, to put this ALL into words would be impossible. All the senses that go into that memory, cannot be smoothed into diction. Maybe I like writing because of this gap. The closer language gets to closing the gap between what is a tangible event/feeling and what is not (words), the closer that writing becomes an existential art form.

Love Love Love

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 17:53:00 +0000

It changes people, it really does. It inspires a person to reach beyond their existence. Support from a loved one is irreplaceable--whether that be a boyfriend, mother, girlfriend, brother, childhood friend, neighbor, husband, new friend, best friend for years, etc. The Beatles were onto something with "All You Need is Love." Obviously you need more than just love--stability, consistence, discipline and a healthy environment are a few to name. The point is, love teaches lessons and life experiences that make a person grow, shaping a person into a human responsible for who they are and what they want to be. The smallest act of kindness is love. Love is beyond you, me and everyone we know. It's a driving force for the craziest of acts, the best of feelings, and the most selfless of intentions. When I sit and think about the the act of loving someone, and how I've tried to "love" certain people over the years I remember that it has always been the best medicine for a difficult situation, despite my inexperience and naive ideas. Love is a religion of it's own. practice it.

Time is a Monster

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 03:36:00 +0000

Timing is everything. Tell me you haven't heard that before. And the worst part is, it is true. When you want something and can't have it, it is usually because the timing is off--whatever the reason behind it: money, mental clarity, etc. Everything happens for a reason. That I do believe. Timing in the scheme of that saying ("everything happens for a reason"), is crucial...events occur in the order, sequence, and TIME they are supposed to. I'm not one for patience. Don't get me wrong, I try--but maybe if I had answers, this timing business would be a little easier to bear. People come in and out of your life, goals begin to change, interests begin to change, life begins to settle AND then "time" comes along and ruins the party.

If we lived in a suspended reality without "time" we'd float off like martians into some hippy-dippy delirium. There it is: hippy-dippy delirium or crash-the-life-party. Neither seem like good options. My friend recently sent me a quote with a positive outlook: "sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we want, sometimes it turns out better." Let's just say I'm waiting.

Drum Roll Please

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 02:04:00 +0000

The most recent events (note the plurality) baffle me. Second time around is different, but what does it all mean? Very trippy.

Let's Bring Fat Back.

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 03:51:00 +0000

Patriotic holidays have a way for sneaking in the most fatty and unhealthy foods imaginable. Come to think of it, any holiday usually does that--it just happens to be fourth of July. Every calorie counts, when you start working out and trying to be fit. When friends begin to ask questions about why you aren't having beer, or why you ordering a dainty salad instead of a macho cheesy- heart-attack-waiting-to-happen-burger, or why are you snacking on carrots when there is a bowl of sour-cream-goodness-dip just waiting while chips gently spill out of the bag on the table-----thats when we like to answer with things like: oh, I'm just trying to eat better, you know healthy. It just makes me feel better. When really the answer should be: I want a hott bod and I want other people to notice it too. Maybe not everyone is as vain, or maybe not to this degree...but admit it, cheesy grins spread across our faces when countless days at the gym and late night calorie counting starts to pay off, when when we walk down the street and get noticed.

Running and working out makes me feel like every muscle in my body is energized, strong and limber. I like that. Anything else it does for me works too--losing weight, toning up, having my clothes fall better against my shape. I would be the person with the cheesy grin on my face, except I don't work out nearly enough or count calories for people on the street to stop and stare. Different for guys though, because muscles and a tight shirt are more visible from far away, than a girl with a six-pack hiding under her shirt or toned legs under a spandex tight pencil skirt. A girl with big boobs or something skimpy will probably grab more attention from far away.

ANYWAY,

what I really wanted to talk about was weight. Why do we all have to be so skinny? What is attractive about skinny versus pudge? If I recall correctly, back in the day (can't remember exactly when) painters used to paint naked women with some excess weight because it was desirable and a sign of wealth. Uh, can we go back to that, please? Paris Hilton and Angelina Jolie are ruining our chances of reverting back to this classic ideal. I see people always trying to diet with crazy meal plans that they are convinced will do the trick and give them a body so slim that their whole wardrobe will consist of tags adorning a prized "size 0" label. I've recently gained weight and actually enjoyed it a bit. Call me crazy. Shoot me down. Lets have the world stop spinning. In all honesty, the only reason I don't like it (maybe) is because it's not socially favored. I tried to think hard of the reasons I didn't like the extra weight. And I became confused. My clothes fit me tighter, so they aren't as flattering...a con. Everything seems a bit more stealthy and meaty..don't ask me why, but a pro. I fill in my bra better...pro (boys, don't get squimish about this upfront honesty). The world is telling me skinny is in and way hotter...con.

I'm not advocating obesity or people to be overweight. I'm just asking for there to a redefinition of skinny, starting with its general appeal. It's ironic because when I thought about this "skinny" business awhile longer, it dawned on me that perhaps the psychology behind it might have something to do with the appeal. People that are skinny tend to be seen that way because they are assumed to have good dietary habits, self-control with food, and a healthy lifestyle--a modicum of self control and taking pride and care of oneself. Heavier people tend to be seen in the opposite light--less self-control, less will power with food, and a degenerate type of lifestyle. In reality some people are just born skinny, with a metabolism made from Zeus. If I were one of those people, food would be my best friend. I love food. Perhaps coming from a latin background where you must eat everything on your plate and then figure out how to squeeze in room for dessert has held me back in life.

dedicated to: mike b. (how is this for lazy?)

p.s. to all my readers I appreciate the feedback and love to hear comments like "your one of my favorite writers." trust me it is extremely flattering, and I'm humbled by your readership. I was thinking about cracking a joke to end, but I will leave this post on a sincere note instead.

Take One.

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:04:00 +0000

I am a nice person and I want nice things. how is that for a blog entry?

REAL

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:52:00 +0000

I'm at a point in my life, where I only want what is real. They say as you get older, that you have fewer and fewer friends. Perhaps that is why. The only ones worth while are few are far between. I've been thinking about lots of things and trying to weed out the negativity in my life. Certain relationships foster unhealthy behaviors and mind-states. Don't have time for that. Pass.

For those who have truly loved, supported, and fostered my growth I am forever thankful. For those who have been the source of strife, thank you for the life lesson, but now I'm moving on. FYI: for those of you who are comfortable where you are as a person, you are not doing your job as a human (to yourself and the world). You should constantly be wanting to make yourself better and learn how to be well-rounded. If I sound preachy, I don't care. I wish I could give some people a reality check in a little lunch bag and drop it off on the front porch of their house.

Thanks for reading.

People Don't Ruin Relationships, Technology Does

noreply@blogger.com (michelle.d.) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:56:00 +0000

Ok, people do ruin relationships. The title is a lie, but if people ruin relationships technology is the accomplice. Whether its email that gets lost in cyberspace, phone calls that get disconnected, texts that arrive three hours after they were sent, or voice mails that go unheard. All of these threaten and cause tension in relationships. I can remember instances where each of these situations have happened to me personally. My boyfriend (at the time) and I were fighting on the phone. I kept talking, and all of a sudden the call ends. He better not have just hung up on me, was all I could think. That call was full of intentional hang ups and, non-intentional hang ups. The non-intentional ones just fueled the flame to the fire of my rage. I can also remember sending a text to friend asking to hang-out, and I didn't get a response for three hours. Seems like the friend was ignoring me, and was canceling plans for the night. Naturally, I became bothered. Another time, I got the line Didn't you get my email? I had not, and had been wondering all weekend about this persons safety. Their phone had died, and they had sent me an email to tell me so, but it had gotten lost in cyberspace. If you are anything like me, you wonder whether people blame technology for their late or lack of communication, when really technology is just fine. Of course I've been the victim as well. Trying to communicate certain important things via text or phone call, and the call never shows up on missed calls, and the text doesn't arrive until after a person has called me inquiring as to what is wrong.

As convenient as technology is, technology has changed social interactions and complicated relationships. Even dating has changed. Phone calls are only used as a last resort. When people are busy at work or doing mundane things, they sneak in a quick text. Texts allow people to have a conversation all day long. How exhausting. And then if people actually are dating, they wonder what happened or if someone was offended when the other person takes long to respond--but really it could be a million reasons. My girlfriend is dating a guy, and i can see all the effects of texting. How come he didn't text back right away? He never text me back, did I offend him? What does he mean by that comment? Is he trying to imply ____? Sometimes it seems like more of a headache to rely on such communication, than not. Other times it is bliss, when you feel like you get a personal message that one one else knows about, saying something nice or meaningful. A catch-22. Texting kills--it's either a love or a hate.