Way the shit back when I decided I wanted to do a month long Evil Boot camp for the uninitiated.  The “30 days of Evil” did not survive the scrub down because, honestly, some of it was terrible.  I wrote it in a 30 day sleep deprived frenzy of denial.

In it’s place I’d like to drop the odd Villain tip here and there.  Bite sized and numbered.  No time constraints, and we won’t top it off at thirty.  I will, surely, dig through some of the unpublished archives and give really bad advice because I am Evil.  Villain’s prerogative.

In the spirit of giving awful advice that no one asked for ever let’s start with Villain Tip #1.  Listen to Your Own advice.  Only.  Always.

Overlord got in some much needed solitude this weekend.  I value My inner life above all else, and my inner life is slowly being squeezed out, so I’m squeezing  back.  We all need a  sabbatical, and we all need to step back and practice the art of not giving two shits from time to time.

It’s a phase.  Everything within my grasp received a good pruning over the past two days, which feels pretty freeking awesome.  I did barely miss a  show, damn it, but there would have been lots of people, so I’m okay with it.   I just watched this and jumped a lot instead.

Quick updates from the Overlord for those of us who are short on time:

1. If You have followed me for some time, set your dials to minionstew.com.  Soon, very soon, freeevil.com  will be no more.
2. I’m  turning off comments.

I’ve been working at Evil in fits and starts.  The digs have had more than a few makeovers, but at the end of the day I no longer identify with “Evil as a Lifestyle Choice” or “freeevil”.  They’re dumb names.  It’s true, you know it, and if you didn’t say it before you were only being nice.  It’s OK, I forgive you.

Comments.  I like comments, I do, but it’s a game that I never really wanted to participate in.  Instant feedback.  You scratch my back and I’ll link yours.  Commenting in return.  I’d like to attempt to churn out something meaningful without a thumbs up.

Look, I want to share things that I want to share because I like sharing them.  I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to give me a “high five” for sharing.  I’d also like the freedom to read the blogs I like and avoid the ones that are booooring and only on my list because they were penned by a fellow Villain.  I’ve never wanted to be the one running around the Evil Circuit giving Villains high fives for existing.

I’m not really into “high fives” in real life either, or any physical contact for that matter.  Everyone’s favorite game at social gatherings?  Try to hug The Overlord…

That being said, you can still email me via contact form.  A true connection is more likely to happen one on one.  There’s also twitter.  If you have something to say, I want to hear from you.

Until next time…

As much as Overlord makes fun of the bacon craze, she can’t really leave it alone.  Agent Beryllium recently posted a fairly accurate imagining of the Over-lair kitchen.

Behold:  Last weekend’s project, the chocolate chip potato chip bacon cookie.

These were all about texture.

The last bacon cookie I made had rendered bacon fat creamed into the butter and sugar.  That is a really good way to get heartburn.

Potato chips stay crispy in cookie dough for a really long time.  Happy adventures in overkill.

On Sunday morning I woke up early and saw a dense, dense fog outside my window. I threw some boots and a coat over my pajamas and quickly walked down to the water front for some pictures before it lifted.

Overlord has been on this walk dozens of times, and I’ve got scores of pictures, but I was really lucky to catch this. Visibility was low, the sun was barely up, street lamps were still on, and I couldn’t see the other side of the river.

I’m currently cheating on a 365 project, affectionately named 36KILL.  There You can see the sprinkles I put on my pancakes.

Happy 2012, year of the Minion.

My favorite part of I like Killing Flies, all the way at the end, but completely worth reaching.

Your first duty in life is to realize that you are a piece of shit.

Last week The Overlord and one of her friends joined forces to make a Vlad the Impaler themed gingerbread scene.

Mrs. Ty-LAR is very good at all of the things this Evil Overlord is not:  patience, measuring, patience….needless to say if I had attempted this on my own it wouldn’t have turned out this well…

The epic gummy massacre:

It really is deceptively cute from a distance, bringing you in for a full on WTF moment up close…

Many thanks to my pastry partner.  Next year?  A Josef Mengele house full of marzipan midgets and twins.  Too far?  Maybe?

Happy Happy Übermas!

Cyriak is clearly aware of Ubermas.

The Overlord absolutely loves reading The Art of Manliness.  Weird, I know, but not really.  Yeah, I’m a chick, but I can throw a kettle bell around for two solid minutes before complaining that I’m sore all week.

In this home-spun little city that The-Great-and-Evil-Overlord calls home it is popular, very popular, to adopt a sort of old-timey image.  Beards and sweaters and wood chopping and all that.  It’s a total facade, these Man-Children just stopped shaving and turned in their jerseys for bow ties, but they’re trying. Deep down they know.  They’re hiding that big, soft, gooey center of privilege and entitlement bred into our generation, but at least they know…

Anywho…I stumbled across this entry on How to Make a Citizen’s Arrest.  Since two of my three readers are into that sort of thing, I thought I’d post it.  Unfortunately there isn’t any advice on wearing a  costume…

If you see a bad guy commit a felony, but he’s unarmed and isn’t fleeing, reasonable force would probably be grabbing his arm and saying, “I’m putting you under a citizen’s arrest until the police get here.”

Doing a flying jump kick to his sternum and then putting him in a sleeper hold while whispering ”shhhh…go to sleep my sweet little evil one” would probably be considered excessive force, and you could be liable for any injuries you may have caused the bad guy.

Also, nothing about bear mace or crack pipes….but the Übermas gift guide is excellent.  Get your minions some  mustache wax and things that smell like whiskey and leather.

It is difficult to pin point the beginning of the Season of Übermas, the most illegitimate of holidays.  Villains are a greedy lot, sponging up every blood soaked day we can get, some crying Übermas as early as Halloween.

For The Overlord, Übermas begins with the Feast of the Dark Lord of Krelm.  The legend and traditions vary slightly from region to region, but the standards hold true:

Selecting a decorative bloody stake for the lair, symbolizing the post-feast genocide of the indigenous peoples of Krelmordian.  According to the legend, Krelm and his minions only broke bread with the heathens once, because they couldn’t stand the smell.  The land was once littered with these large, sharp pillars of wood, cleaning up the remainder of those gentle peoples after a particularly violent outbreak of syphilis.

The infamous list of demands to the great Dark God.  If you’re a lucky Villain, Krelm himself may pay you a visit on Übermas Eve.  Nine times out of ten the answer is simply “NO.”, but a visit from the most infamous is an honer in and of itself.  You should, however, make your demands with care.  The last time a demand was granted an ambitious young Villain had asked for the gift of infinite persuasion, and Lord Malignance was born.  He hasn’t stopped talking since.

There is of course the parade of ten thousand minions Krelm Feast morning.  The feast itself has come to include Turkey in modern times, which symbolizes the Harpy slain by Krelm’s party so long ago.  Harpy meat is strictly black market now, and a pretty penny to be sure.

A great and sinister feast to all of you.  Stuff your faces, annoy your next of kin, and drink yourselves into a stupor.  Finally, Übermas is here!

Incognito. First up on the Villainous reading list, this one has lots of pictures.

It’s about a Villain. He’s cornered into ratting out his organization, and ends up trapped in an office job under witness protection. Nuff’ said?