Look, El Overlord, I’m sorry I called you a stupid party clown in a metal helmet in Spanish. I’ll never demand that you give me chips and salsa before I order my chicken chimichanga ever again. Promise.

Stop ignoring THE Overlord (the one TRUE Overlord) so she can start making fun of you again. I like your video.

It’s hot outside.  Overlord is working on making the lair into a more frigid habitat until all of this bothersome sun goes away.  The curtains have been drawn.  The snow machine is on.  I had a crate full of cloned penguins shipped in.  These penguin clones are like carnival gold fish, they only survive long enough to make the atmosphere more festive.   Oh, and you don’t want to name them, or eat them once they’ve dropped.  Penguin disposal could be an issue.

Yesterday I set my hair on fire playing BBQ, and then I made a pie.  Key lime.  Never made one of these, but I’m in love, since it’s 95% sweetened condensed milk.  Crack in a can.

I’ve been wanting to post this for some time.  Are you gluten intolerant, or do you have scurvy?  Unless you’re part of the 1% minority who actually can not digest grains, I’m going with the later.

Eat some pie, finicky food group eliminators.  You are the bane of my existence.

Other things you can do with tiny tiny limes:  The Lime L Richie shot!

On Scars.  Dr.  Brooke Magnanti writes about beauty, self acceptance, and her acne scars.  Amazingly powerful stuff, considering the source.  She is the once anonymous Belle de Jour, now completely open about how she paid for her degree as a call girl.

Other people have things you don’t. Big deal.

There is no such thing as the Most Beautiful Woman in the World (sorry Buttercup). Who cares? What is considered desirable is not especially worth getting hung up on. You may not be a six-foot Amazon so will never have legs up to your neck – but for all you know, that same supermodel would give her left arm to have your hair. This concept generalises to wealth, success, talent, and intelligence as well. Corollary 3a: Envy of other women’s looks is a zero-sum game, and uses far too much time and energy to be bothered with.

Dial a human got Shell E laid off from her first temp job.  Well, that and the lisp.

Why you don’t have any friends.

Not safe for the uptight, The psychological underpinnings of submission and domination.

Farming with dynamite, never gets old.

Loki holding shit down…

Yes, I would put my brain in a robot body.

Have a terrible week.  Overlord out.

I always knew that I’d pay for my lack of originality in the end, when choosing the name Overlord*.

Introducing El Overlord, Overlord of Mexico.  He insists that he doesn’t speak Español , but we know this isn’t true.  Villains lie, like, constantly.

Now, it is important to note that behind the bravado and death threats The Overlord does in fact support those who choose Villainy.  Hell, I support alter egos in general.  We may throw our insults about, but in the end we’re all the same brand of freak.  Some of us just make better Overlords than others**.

Anyone who chooses to be a Villain automatically has a small amount of respect from The Overlord, because they’ve figured out what few others have.  As long as you aren’t brandishing real weapons or hunting down names and addresses, you get a thumbs up.  You get a high five until the day that I have nothing left to destroy but you.

You can find El Overlord splashing about in the kiddy pool, over here.

*Nothing else fit.  Probably because the Happy Cake Oven episode of Sealab 2021 literally changed my life.  This isn’t necessarily something I’m proud of.

**Almost kidding.

Tonight’s full moon will be closer to the earth than at any other time of the year, making it 14% larger and 30% brighter than other full moons this year.

It seems only natural to direct your gaze upward every four weeks and reflect. Declare your enemies, focus on obstacles, and draw your lines in the sand. Overlord is not-so-secretly-obsessed with moon phases. I enjoy what feels like a clean sheet, ready to be drug through the blood, sweat and muddiness we slog through everyday.

There is a fantastic explanation of Super Moons over here.

NASA breaks it down.

Black Phoenix Alchemy labs releases a new, limited scent every full moon. This month’s lunacy is Strawberry Moon 2012, which does not sound evil at all, unless you read their post on strawberries.  Alright, they still don’t sound very Evil.

In the Elizabethan Era, it was commonly believed that plants affected their neighbors in a very particular way: the scent of a plant was thought to reveal the plant’s true nature, an indication of the plant’s essential nature, and the spirit of each plant would affect the growth, health, and spirit of the plants that surrounded it. As an example, sweet-scented flowers were planted neat fruit trees to enhance their flavor, while onions, garlic, nettle, horehound, dog fennel, and other plants with objectionable (evil, diabolical, unwholesome, stinky) scents were kept far away. The strawberry was the exception to the rule, and it was said that they would thrive even amongst the foulest of plants.

I try to write something down during each full and new moon, and I don’t always succeed.  You can sign up for email reminders from Fullmoon.info.

I don’t believe that the moon influences us so much, it’s just fun to start over.  Over and over and over again.  That’s why we name our days and years and start fresh at the beginning of the week and the month and the year.  Perhaps I’ll start doing full moon updates every month.  Until then…

I tend to mix a little more reality into my fantasy, and some find that mixture less palatable.  The props, the costumes, the masks…they are all few and far between on the landscape of The Overlord.  Even worse, it often sounds like I’m talking about my actual honest to Evil LIFE, and usually I am.

This used to be on purpose, because I really do view Evil as an empowering springboard that I have been known to use in real life.  Going against the grain can become pretty damned exhausting unless you’re having fun doing it.  So, that is the new focus.  More fun and silliness.

It’s difficult to drop the camp, get real, and then pick it back up again, but that is the balance I need to strike.

You should recognize when you’re taking yourself too seriously and no longer having fun.

So, more of the Doomsday Observation Deck, rusty scuttle bots, and terrible stories about failed attempts at World Peace through total domination.  Costumes need to be improved, flames need to be photo-shopped badly into the background, and ridiculously terrible videos need to be made.  Overlord is working on it.

On that note:

Why TMI is good for you

You have two choices here: live your life according to what some snarky chick in HR may or may not think of you — or do what you want. Blazing your own trail tells the world who you are. Molding yourself based on others’ potential perceptions of you is a waste of your time, talent, and life.

Glorious Master Translator, the latest from Emails from an Asshole.

The Myth of the Eight Hour Sleep.  I found this during a particularly terrible bout of insomnia, during the Ice Cream deluge of 2012.  Half baked, Udderly Chocolate, and a side of Tillamook Mudslide.

Seamless.  Print and cut clothing.

Five Manifestos for the Creative Life.

Orson Welles on Work-Life Balance and the Gift of Ignorance.  Also from Brain Pickings, my new favorite place.

This was the jam when I was fourteen.  I really identify with a head case in goggles.

Now, off to buy some velcro…

Expect to see more of Shell E.  She is the embodiment of my dying conscience and inspired by Magnus Obsidian, master-creator-of-robots.

This is what happens when Villains try to keep up with the Jonseses:

I am heavily inspired by Baman Piderman.

Another blast from the unseen archives.

Tonight I made “Shit, everything in the crisper is going bad” lasagna.  A personal favorite, but painful for a “foodie” as it wasn’t an experiment and I didn’t purchase any special ingredients.  Just a humble attempt at feeding myself.

 I am still behind “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.  Many of us are soft.  Many of us overestimate how many hours we work and how much of our time is free.  I know I could use the occasional kick in the ass, how about you?

If you’d like to catch up on Overlord’s series on Stoicism, start on Negative Thinking and the Spreading of Evil.

Bring it on, because whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.  That must be more true for Villains than for anyone else, right?  The Stoics were all about enjoying life, but creature comforts will make you a soft, squishy little cream puff if you over indulge.

So, We’ve accepted the fact that everything is not in Our control.  In fact, World Conquest may only come to us by some happy accident, and We have to remain indifferent or succumb to the fear of losing it.  We’ve started to use Negative Visualization, and have become very creative in thinking about the worst that could happen.  Very creative in My case.

Now, We’ll take it one step further and pretend that the worst has happened from time to time.  We’re going to put Ourselves through a little discomfort, for the purpose of really appreciating the small comforts We receive.

Here are some ideas on how you can inflict some pain in your daily life….

Invite Ridicule:  You’re already good at sticking out, now take it a little further.  Go against the grain, just to remind Yourself that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of You.  You may be ostracized, or You may be seen as extremely confident.  This really shouldn’t be too hard.   Just slap on Your freak and walk to the super market,  that should do the trick.

Fasting:  Stop eating and get really used to hunger pangs.  Let them set in.  Treat them like old friends, reminding You that You’re still alive.  Hold back….and then celebrate Your self-control by eating one of your minions.  The juicy looking one, He has to go.

Hang with the unwashed masses:  Put on Your best homeless garb and pan handle your peers.  Not only is this a good way to really get into Your discomfort zone, it’s also an excellent second source of income.  Bonus points if You spend the night on the side-walk.

On Insults

Well, You’re evil.  We shouldn’t have to talk about this, but let’s hash is out really quick.  Something about being bad ass will make people hate You, every time, so keep at it and let the haters hate.  They’re all self indulgent little cream puffs anyway.

Take the bite out of an insult or under handed compliment with a heavy dose of humor, just to let everyone know You don’t take it seriously.

Also, think about the source.  If You respect this person, maybe they have a point.  If not, then eviscerate their pathetic souls of better yet….ignore them.

On Anger

Insults will lead to Anger, but only if We’re soft.  If You practice widening Your comfort level and keeping the outside world in perspective, you will become unshakable and  invincible to the momentary insanity that We call anger.

On Becoming Invincible

I plan to revisit this topic from time to time, because what I’ve written is basically a humorous spin on something too complex to cover in a few posts.

The Stoics have a reputation as being unfeeling characters, and it couldn’t hurt an Evil Do-er’s reputation to be seen as hard and unfeeling.  What really attracts Me, however, are the various methods They created to cope with a challenging life, and to rise above Their surroundings, something I think that everyone can use.

I did not do a link post last week, and make no excuses for myself.  I also haven’t spent a lot of time online, so boo.

I’ve spent the past week or so planning some extreme nesting at the lair.  I tend to get most cooped up during hotter summer months instead of winter.  Partially because winter barely exists here, but also because overly bright sunny days make me cry.  De-cluttering, air conditioning, and rearranging will be the focus of the next few weeks.  Overlord will have a suitable hiding place long before you can fry an egg on the pavement.  What’s that joke about the child with no arms and legs?

Of course the doomsday observation deck is nearly complete, and a six foot seven tiered “kitty condo” is in transit.  This should provide hours of entertainment for the flying monkeys.

The monkeys also love all of the cardboard boxes making their way into the lair, and I’m always a little reluctant to finally break them down and have them recycled.  This could be a more permanent solution:

Pattern available at Evil Mad Scientist.

The Reference is Lost:  Stuff from Old Cartoons that used to matter  Explaining the more adult, out of time humor from the Looney Toons.

“Apparently in the mid-20th century, there was nothing more hilarious and delightful to audiences than a joke at the expense of the developmentally disabled, coupled with a literary reference to one of the saddest novels ever written. Simpler times. “

I need an inspector stamp.  Big time.

TED talk on algorithms.  No, really, click it.

Villainous take on love.

Running a little late this week.  It’s bound to happen.  I’ve been busy scheming and away from the internet.

Overlord will attempt to freeze her face into a permanent smile, and then everyone else’s!  Picture it for a moment, all of the smiling faces.  That’s the Villainous version of World Peace.  Painful smiles and handshakes.  It also resembles an outer ring of Hell.

It should be known the Overlord does not own an iAnything, since Loki decided to chew the last pod off of it’s charging station.  Other than the sporadic offerings from Computer King, I’m a complete stranger to Podcasts.  Always out of the loop.

Since acquiring the ghetto pod a couple weeks back, I’ve been loading up on episodes of Radiolab  (favorite thing ever).  I get it now, and I need a few suggestions.  The Bad Show was seriously awesome.  What is everyone else listening to?

Other than the soothing hum of police scanners…

How to be Evil  is a must read.  Envisioning yourself doing good deed makes it easier to justify evil.  I’m also going to have a lot more fun people watching at the grocery store.  Cheats and liars are more likely to stock up on “green” products.

Taxidermy footwear!

Super Awesome Bowties!  They don’t exist yet, but I believe the collective energy of thousands of bowtie fans clicking and screaming “WANT” will will them into existence.

Read this before building your next spike trap.

Waffles that aren’t waffles.  The presentation is amazing, I’m going to start doing food photographs with synthetic gloves.

This link came down the discard chute via Obsidian Labs, and Overlord is stealing it.  Also, Oliv’r is about the cutest non-feline Villain sidekick ever.  Better slap a homing device on him.

I recently found a way to make brain stop think think and make myself smile at the same time (research and development).  Go to HecklerSpray and just read the headlines.  No, don’t click anything.  Once you get to “Keira Knightley Has Bad Skin (To Add To The Thorough Absence Of Talent)” and “Celine Dion: Regrettably Not Dead Yet”, you’ll feel much better.

I’m a little fuzzy on this one.

A red panda in the snow playing with a pumpkin.  Also part of research and development (Codename: Disconcerting Smile)

Have a terrible week.  Overlord out.