Today, my life has changed drastically.  I am writing this post from San Francisco on the day of my first academic presentation and the eve of my first solo academic presentation.  It feels good to see some of my hard work pay off.  I’m still single, but after the experience that inspired a string of embarrassingly emotional posts in October, I’m fine with it because I have more time to make the necessary sacrifices for my dreams.

Church life is still frustrating, but I am finally learning that my frustration comes from my perfectionist tendencies.  When I see problems, I often feel that it is my responsibility to fix them even when it isn’t.  God has been dealing with me about that and now I’m much less stressed.  I had some doubts about my transfer to Rutgers Fall 2011.  Those doubts increased when I ended up losing my funding due to a professor’s ego.  At this point, most of those doubts are gone.  Sure the funding situation is still less-than-ideal, but I have been able to string together a few part-time jobs on campus.  In addition, Steps Toward Change Research Group is slightly profitable in spite of the occasional issues with clients.

The vision for Ministerial Life has also grown dramatically.  What started out as a blog is now the home of all of my creative activity.  Whenever I get around to releasing my mixtape, it is being released through Ministerial Life.  I also have a few ideas for webisodes and vlogs about church life that should make their appearance this year.  However, I acknowledge that to some extent, Ministerial Life has taken a back seat to my academic pursuits.  I take my comprehensive exams next semester and I am trying to expedite my dissertation process because of my lack of funding.  As a result, I’ll likely be struggling to find the time to be creative over the next year.

A part of me hoped to have a large celebration commemorating this moment  I guess I succeeded. There is no way that I could have ever expected to be in San Francisco on the anniversary of my first post, but I’m glad that I’m here in some conference hotel that would normally be way out of my price range because it serves as a preview of things to come and a reminder of how many things have changed already.  Sure I’m not a famous billionaire yet, but there is plenty of time for that later and days like this remind me that I am on the right track.

HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY MINISTERIAL LIFE!!!

Even though I made up my mind that I would show up for the audition, I never quite lost my ambivalence.  A few days before the audition, I remember having the following conversation with my mom:

“I’m not sure if I really want to go to this audition because I don’t think I want to win,” I said.

“What do you mean?” my mom asked.

“If I win, I won’t be able to finish my PhD right away,” I continued, “You know how long I’ve been working on this degree.  Besides, winners of reality TV competitions do not always have successful music careers.  I think I would want to have my academic career to fall back on.”

Then, I proceeded to go into a long analysis about how difficult it is to actually have a prolonged career in the music industry–especially for people like me whose music would likely have some Christian elements in it.

“Either way, I’m proud of you for even considering this audition,” my mom said, “I know I couldn’t do it.”

The night before the audition, I was texting with another one of my frat brothers who is one of my closest friends.  He sees it as his duty to keep pushing me out of my comfort zone since I tend to be a bit of a wallflower by nature.  Our conversation went something like this:

“I’m still going through with this audition, but lately I’ve been realizing how much I like my life as it is,” I texted.  It was true.  I started to realize just how much I appreciate my anonymity.  Sure I blog about my life, but I still enjoy the fact that I am not a household name.  I like the fact that I can go into a room without people noticing me (though they’ll probably notice my hair, my height, and my wardrobe choices).  It occurred to me that this audition had the potential to take all that anonymity away.

“Sometimes, you have to be courageous enough to be something different,” he replied back.  I expected as much.  That’s how our friendship has always been.  I appreciated the challenge and I figured that I had nothing to lose so I went through with it.

I can’t really go into details because of the contract we’re required to sign prior to the auditions, but I can say that I will not be on any televised singing competitions any time soon.  A part of me was relieved because it meant that I could continue to cherish my anonymity for a bit longer and finish my PhD as scheduled.  At the same time, I was also a bit annoyed.  I waited in line in the cold for 2 hours before waiting inside the building for another 5 hours all for a 15 second audition.  If I had brought my laptop with me, I would have been able to finish a lot of work while I was waiting.  (Spoken like a true workaholic academic.)

The most awkward part of the experience was realizing that my supporters were actually devastated by the fact that I hadn’t been chosen.

“I’m shocked,” said the Louisiana frat brother in response to the news.

“I’m still proud of you anyway,” said my  little brother in the ministry.

“I applaud you for even going through with it,” said my mother who later admitted that she couldn’t come with me to the audition because of her nerves.

“We’ll keep working on your mixtape,” said the supportive frat brother during a phone call that quickly shifted into a strategic planning session.

At that point, I understood why God allowed me to go through with this audition. I have a bad habit of acting like I’m fighting my way through the world on my own, but experiences like this remind me that my friends and family are there fighting right beside me.  I am truly blessed to have such a strong support system.  Someday, I hope to be able to let them all know that their constant support of me has not been in vain.  I will make it somehow.  One door may have closed, but there are plenty of others that I haven’t tried yet.  Therefore, I’ll keep moving forward with the assurance that God has already created the right opportunities for me and that he will reveal them to me when the time is right.  For now, I’ll just continue to enjoy my life as it is because I know it won’t be this way forever.

State of the Union

It was good to see President Obama’s confidence on Tuesday night.  He repeated a lot of the same rhetoric that he had stated during his recent reelection bid, but his presentation was much stronger.  After all, he no longer had to worry about how his statements and stances could adversely impact his chances for reelection now that he is in his second term.  Using a mixture of anecdotes, emotional appeals, and occasional political jabs, President Obama outlined his administration’s agenda to generally partisan applause.

Given the polarized nature of our political system, I should not have expected the Republican party to visibly accept anything that President Obama says–even if he is the President of the WHOLE United States.  That’s why I was especially amused when Senator Rubio’s response unintentionally agreed with some of the statements that President Obama had made during his address.  Indeed, I left the response feeling like Senator Rubio’s people did not adequately research Obama’s policies.  If they had, Senator Rubio would not have made such erroneous claims like the one he made in an attempt to distinguish between the Republican agenda and President Obama’s agenda by claiming that President Obama did not want to modify Medicare less than an hour after President Obama himself argued for Medicare reform.

That gaffe and many others made during Rubio’s speech and during post-address analyses by both Democrat and Republican commentators confirmed my belief that many politicians are more interested in maintaining power than actually doing what is best for the people they represent.  I found myself having trouble dealing with the fact that many politicians and media personalities are actually benefitting from the extreme polarization in our society at the expense of people in need.  Even the commentators have an incentive to make controversial statements in order to keep their jobs with the networks, which all cater to their own particular politically-charged fragments of our society.  Needless to say, I became even more jaded with respect to the ability of President Obama or any other seemingly positive politician to make a difference from within the system because too many people like things just the way they are.

The Sisterhood Season Finale

I was slightly annoyed with TLC for airing the 2-hour season finale of The Sisterhood on the same night as the State of the Union Address.  After all, many members of their target demographic (black people) do not need much of an incentive to ignore the President’s speaking.  (Truth be told, many of us become politically apathetic until the next presidential election in spite of the importance of our involvement in the electoral process.  I was also annoyed with BET for airing a new episode of Real Husbands of Hollywood knowing that it would air at end of the State of the Union Address and during the Republican response.  I’m saddened by the thought of how many people missed the State of the Union Address because they were watching The Sisterhood and Real Husbands of Hollywood back to back.  BET and TLC need to do better, but this is supposed to be about The Sisterhood so I’ll digress.)

Check out my initial analysis here.  Here are my final thoughts on the women on the show:

Domonique

Just as I had expected, Domonique became the breakout star of the show.  The last two episodes were pretty much all about her personal story of rekindling her relationship with her husband Brian while dealing with her past experiences as a crack addict and a prostitute.  Although I called her “sour” in my initial analysis, I found myself understanding her a lot more after I learned what she had been through.  Sure she seemed to be a bit catty at times–especially with respect to Tara–but right or wrong, she was real.  That’s more than I could say about some of the others on the show.  I just hope her portrayal on the show does not hinder her and Brian’s attempts at launching a new ministry.

DeLana

Unlike the others, DeLana did not receive much screen time.  After her argument with Domonique about the plantation sign, DeLana backed away from the other women.  For that reason, I admire her.  She wasn’t about to fall into the same trap that causes many women on reality shows to partake in ridiculous conflicts over and over again.  In fact, I am pretty sure that the only reason DeLana and her husband reappeared on the show is that they were contractually obligated to do so.  Nonetheless, DeLana did attempt to neutralize her conflict with Domonique numerous times. It just took Domonique a long time to see her attempts as sincere.

Christina

From my perspective, Christina was the most likable person on the show.  I wouldn’t mind going to a church where someone like her was the first lady.  I’m sure her husband Anthony is clear on just what an asset she is to their congregation.  Her supportiveness was shown as she went to the hospital to check on Ivy during her surgery.  For the most part, she managed to stay out of the path of conflict and attempted to bring peace among the women–a difficult job considering the number of strong personalities on the show.  She found a way to be real without being offensive, and I commend her for that.

Ivy

Behind Domonique, Ivy’s storyline was most compelling.  She spent much of the season concerned about her ability to have more children after recently giving birth to her first child.  Those concerns were all alleviated after her exploratory surgery was successful and she announced her pregnancy during the last episode.  Unfortunately, Ivy always found herself in the middle of Domonique’s arguments.  She jumped on Tara several times and was not afraid to express her opinion to DeLana about the plantation sign.  It wasn’t too surprising for me to see the clique form between Domonique, Ivy, and Christina because the three of them were most similar with respect to their views on ministry.  I just wish Ivy would have been a bit more careful about getting sucked into Domonique’s conflicts.

Tara

Unfortunately, I never did quite warm up to Tara.  She and her husband Brian came across as a bit spacey the whole season.  They were also highly likely to look down on anyone who disagreed with them on any issue.  Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Tara.  After she and her husband were fired from their church in Atlanta, they were essentially scrambling to create a new life for themselves.  Tara did have some likable characteristics, but she just could not mesh well with the other women.  Her storyline confirmed for me that sometimes church folk have a way of spiritualizing things that are just common sense.  Sometimes, personality conflicts are spiritual attacks or opportunities to “be a light,” but sometimes personality conflicts are just personality conflicts.  Some people just won’t get along and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Valentine’s Day 2013

At this point in my life, I have become accustomed to being single on Valentine’s Day.  It’s certainly much cheaper that way.  Although I find myself becoming somewhat mopey about my persistent singleness, I also realize just how thankful for the life I’ve had the chance to build for myself.  As much as I would rather not admit it, I am not sure if I would be where I am right now if I were in a relationship.  In fact, if I had a girlfriend / wife, she probably would have felt neglected at some points and frustrated at others given the many twists and turns of my journey.  (The girlfriend I had for two weeks last year certainly did.)  Thankfully, all of that work is about to start paying off and within the next year, I should actually have the time and the resources to nurture a relationship while still making serious progress on my life’s goals.  In the end, maybe the best Valentine’s Day gift I’ll be able to give to my future girlfriend / wife is the ability to be with someone who is managing to live out his dreams in spite of his various imperfections.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

What are your thoughts on the State of the Union Address?  How do you feel about The Sisterhood? Did you have any major realizations this Valentine’s Day?

When Frank Ocean finally got on stage last night, I was a bit excited.  With the exception of the one time I streamed his album from his Tumblr when it first came out, I never actually heard “Forrest Gump.”  The message of the song was clear—the man who had been the object of Frank’s affection was “buff and strong,” and had apparently been “running through…[his] mind all day.”  I wasn’t all that impressed with the lyrics. It reminded me of the kind of weak lines that my male friends used to try on the local girls back when we were in middle school.  Still, I was determined to give this performance a chance.

I appreciated Frank Ocean’s use of the keyboard.  The simplicity of his arrangement was encouraging to me considering how insecure I tend to be about my own keyboard skills.  I tend to think that I do not play well enough to play for myself on a large stage, but Frank Ocean’s keyboard skills did not seem much more advanced than mine.  In addition, his vocal range and tone seemed pretty similar to mine.  That quickly, I went from being his critic to feeling a sense of camaraderie with him.  Therefore, it was pretty painful for me to hear him loss his pitch.

As I sat in my mom’s living room (with my cousin and my uncle who were both also cringing at Frank Ocean’s pitch), I found myself imagining how Frank Ocean was feeling as the performance continued.  Artists are perfectionists by nature.  As a result, artists are often their own worst critics.  If he was indeed aware of what was happening, he was probably falling apart inside and trying hard to hold it together until he was able to head backstage and reflect.

The only explanation I could  come up with to justify Frank Ocean’s inability to stay on pitch was a failure of his monitors.  I still can’t bring myself to believe that an artist like him would be willing to attempt such a bare musical arrangement if his pitch were a consistent problem.  When I glanced at Twitter, I noticed that most of my friends felt the same way.  Frank Ocean was struggling through his largest televised performance to date.  His attempt at being groundbreaking was going to be overshadowed by an equipment failure.  It didn’t seem fair.

In the end, my heart goes out to Frank Ocean because I know that all artists are very sensitive about their work.  No matter how I may feel about his lyrical quality, I acknowledge that his music comes from a deeply personal place (just like mine does).  This performance would have been difficult enough for him if it were perfect.  The failure of the monitors or whatever ended up causing him to fall of pitch only made the performance even more challenging.  Hopefully, he’ll be able to put this unfortunate episode behind him and take comfort in the fact that he managed to walk away with two Grammys.

Check out Frank Ocean’s Grammy Performance Here.

Frank Ocean Grammys 2013 performance by dm_51181cced0274

Although the NAACP Image Awards had many notable honorees this year including the legendary Harry Belafonte (who my little cousin had never heard of), the true star of Friday night’s telecast was Kerry Washington.  In addition to winning two awards for her roles in Scandal, and Django Unchained she was also honored for her humanitarian efforts.  She impressed me as being well-spoken, educated, and beautiful–the kind of woman that I’m sure my mom was thinking would be the perfect mother to her grandchildren someday.  (However, my mom didn’t especially like her pink and green ensemble.  I’ll admit it would have looked horrible on anyone else, but I feel like Kerry Washington could get away with wearing just about anything.  Just saying.)  It was impossible to listen to any of Kerry Washington’s three acceptance speeches without gaining more respect for her.

Hearing Harry Belafonte talk about his stories of activism was also inspiring.  It reminded me that the arts can indeed be used to make a difference in the world.  (Note to self: finish that mixtape.)  It was also amazing to see how Harry Belafonte’s speech affected Jamie Foxx, who ended up throwing out his prepared speech and talking about the realization that he needs to use his platform for greater things.  He should have been given a bit more time.  It was disappointing to have the telecast end while he was in the midst of breaking down about his biological mother.  I guess that’s what happens with live shows.

On Saturday night, I was in my apartment editing some papers for conferences when I saw some of my Facebook friends talking about Betty & Coretta. I had not missed much of it, so I turned it on.  Overall, it was much better than I had expected it to be.  I always knew that Angela Bassett was a brilliant actress, but I had my doubts about Mary J. Blige taking on the role of Betty Shabazz.  Thankfully, the script was written in a way that played to both actresses’ strengths.

While Bassett’s Coretta purely relied on Bassett’s ability to command attention and convey powerful emotion on screen, Blige’s Betty was helped a lot by set design.  It wasn’t too hard to envision her as a professor because she was in a classroom with students.  Likewise, it wasn’t too hard to envision her as a radio show host because she was in a studio.  Even during the saddest moment of the movie–Shabazz’s death–the makeup and bandages did a lot of the work for her.  That being said, Mary J. Blige was believable as Betty.  Overall, the movie was pretty good considering it was a Lifetime movie.

Yesterday, I tuned into the Super Bowl for three reasons–Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys, and Beyonce.  (In all honesty, I was slightly interested in the game too.  I wanted Baltimore to win because I have a lot of friends there and I admired Ray Lewis’ testimony.  Still, I did almost fall asleep before the half time show–especially after the ridiculous lead that Baltimore had built because of San Francisco’s mistakes.)  I was proud to see Jennifer Hudson starting things off with the children from Sandy Hook Elementary School.  They stood together as a reminder of human resilience.  After all, Jennifer Hudson and the children from Sandy Hook have all lost people they cared about to senseless gun violence.  Whoever made the decision to have them perform together on “America the Beautiful” deserves a lot of credit.

When I first saw Alicia Keys, I felt sorry for her.  She would now have to go right behind powerhouse Jennifer Hudson and the cute children from Sandy Hook.  I have been hard on Alicia Keys because her voice has been pretty bad during some of her recent performances.  Singing right behind Jennifer Hudson would make that even clearer.  Then I noticed that Alicia Keys was smart and had a piano with her.  I had hoped that would mean she would sing the song in a key that worked well with her voice, but I was wrong.  Still, her performance was much better than I had expected it to be.  She was smart by reminding people that her overall brand doesn’t stop at singing.  I applaud her for her creativity.

Last, but not least was Beyonce, who received way too much attention recently for her decision to sing with a prerecorded vocal track last month at President Obama’s second inauguration.  She came into this Super Bowl with a lot to prove and she delivered wearing an outfit that would make most of us forget that she had just given birth a little over a year ago.  She showed everyone once and for all that she really is the best entertainer out there right now and surprised everyone with a Destiny’s Child reunion where Michelle’s unique (meaning slightly odd) vocal stylings unfortunately led Keyshia Cole to tweet some disparaging remarks about her.  (On a side note, I actually do like Michelle Williams’ voice.  I just understand that it’s not for everybody.)  Still, haters (like Keyshia Cole, who really shouldn’t be throwing stones because she lives in an extremely fragile, cracking glass house that is currently being held together by the glue from her various weaves and her unexplained ability to keep landing reality shows) aside, the performance was solid.  I am not sure who will be able to top it next year, but I’ll definitely be watching to see next year’s half time act try.

That is my weekend recap.  Maybe sometime in the future, I’ll actually feel like splitting busy television weekends like this into several smaller posts, but for now, academic responsibilities call.

What did you think of the NAACP Image Awards?

What did you think of Betty & Coretta?  Did Mary J. Blige do it justice?  What about Lifetime?

What did you think of the Super Bowl?

In a lot of ways, I think my friends and family were much more excited about the event than I was.  They were regularly telling people, “Spencer is having a showcase,” even though I kept reminding them that it wasn’t actually my event.  Their responses were always interesting.

“Well, you’re the only reason we’re coming,” my mom said, “I don’t know who any of these artists are.”

“Either way, you can use it as a launching point for your music,” my frat brother said, “You also need to get back to working on your mixtape so that you can finish it sooner.

“It’s still exciting,” my cousin said as she attempted to sell tickets to just about everyone she knew.

Based on their excitement, I realized that I would have to plan my own showcase later in the year.  In the mean time, I had to make sure my set would actually be something respectable.  I would be singing three original songs–two that had never been heard outside of my church.  My background singers and I would be performing to tracks that I created.  There was supposed to be a house band, but after the bass player’s wife went into labor a few days earlier, that fell apart.  There was really only one problem as I saw it–the audience.

If you have been a long-time reader of this blog, you know that I tend to feel that I do not really fit in well at most traditional African American churches because tend not to be all that emotional in my delivery.  While I knew that I wouldn’t have any trouble singing my songs, I was concerned about my ability to speak between them.  After all, events like these tend to favor people who can shout and cry on cue.  I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense.  I’m just aware that my personal style of praise and worship doesn’t always go over well in that kind of environment.

My concerns were further substantiated when a praise and worship set that was supposed to be 20 minutes long lasted for almost an hour.  The crowd was pretty much in a praising frenzy with the exception of many of the people who came with me and were a bit distracted by the horrendous sound system.  (There was no sound check because things were running behind schedule, so we all were concerned.)  Needless to say, I was a bit frightened when event staff informed me that my set would be next.

I am not going to bore you all with the details of my actual set except to say that it went well in spite of the poor sound system.  It went a little too well.  People were smiling.  Youth and young adults were dancing.  When my set was over, I immediately told the audience “God bless you” and  pretty much ran to my seat.  That’s when Marc Britt, the MC of the event, brought the hook to my song back in and kept it going for what had to be about 30 minutes.  I was shocked.  Not only had my songs survived in this environment, but they were actually embraced.  My family and friends noticed to puzzled look on my face as I heard Marc Britt and the musicians transform my song into a choir song with 3-part harmony before morphing it into shouting music.

That night, God taught me a valuable lesson–even though it is not my preference, I do have a place within the traditional African American church.  I may be a bit different, but my overall message is welcomed–especially by youth and young adults.  It made me wonder why I was so concerned coming into the event.  Then it all came back to me.  I was pretty awkward during my childhood and always stuck out.  Church was a big part of my life then.  My personality quirks allowed me to do well in classes, but not in relationships with people my age.  Parents often compared their children to me and as a result, their children often disliked me and would go out of their way to make that clear.  Since I didn’t understand what was happening, I internalized it.

Things only got worse when I went to college.  I came into my own as a singer while I was living in CT–the same time I preached my first sermon.  Unfortunately, I came into my own as a singer in a place where people were far more judgmental than usual.  While they could not dispute my singing ability, they made it pretty clear that I did not fit their ideal image of a minister.  My appearance wasn’t the problem, my personality was.  My introversion was perceived as disinterest and the implication was that my generally stoic expression was proof that something was lacking in my relationship with God.  I never quite understood what caused the rift, but I credit my mentors (and one of my therapists) for helping me to understand that it wasn’t my fault.

In the 4+ years that I have been out of that environment, I have become more comfortable with the fact that there are multiple expressions of praise and worship to God.  Some are loud and emotional, some are quiet and contemplative.  What is most important to God is sincerity.  For now, it is clear to me that I have a lot of ministry-related hangups that I need to work through.  I am just thankful that God chose to use the Praise and Power Concert to remind me that being different isn’t always a bad thing.

President Barack Obama chose to be sworn in for his second term using the Bibles that belonged to Martin Luther King, Jr. and President Abraham Lincoln.  Professor Cornel West felt this was a bad idea and was vocal in sharing his critique on the radio program that he shares with Tavis Smiley.  I wrote that off as Cornel West being Cornel West.  After all, he and Tavis Smiley have always been vocal critics of the President.  It made sense to me that the two of them would attempt to claim that President Obama’s use of Martin Luther King, Jr’s Bible was purely political.  Last night, I was on the train with my mother who was excited to tell me about the discussion she had seen on Tavis Smiley’s talk show the night before.  Apparently, the clip from last week’s telecast that had been circulating on the internet for days finally made it to our local PBS station.

“You should watch it tonight,” she said proudly, “They’re supposed to air the second part.  Cornel West is going to be on there.”

“I think I’ve seen the clip online,” I replied.  From there, we began examining the issues at hand.

“I feel like he just said too much,” my mother continued, “Maybe if he had kept it a bit shorter, I could have followed him better.”

“No,” I replied, “Cornel West, like many academics, is good at talking in circles.  That doesn’t make him any less brilliant, but his critique was pretty hard to follow.  It seemed like he was deifying King and implying that in some way, President Obama did not have a right to claim a connection to the African American religious tradition that formed him [Dr. King.]”

“I see,” my mother continued, “I felt that way too, but I thought I just wasn’t understanding him.  After all, he’s this renowned professor.  That was the reason I wanted to make sure you had heard about what he said.  I know you have more training in that area.”

“You’re just going through what academics and intellectuals go through all the time,” I replied, “That’s why it is important to study things for yourself.  People will always have points of disagreement and that’s fine.  It’s just like church.”

After I connected it to church, she immediately understood.  We often spent time breaking down sermons that we heard over the years.  She often expressed her displeasure in the way that many people valued style over substance when listening to sermons.  Perhaps her discontent resulted from her son (me) and her pastor (who is also her nephew) being ministers whose ministerial journeys have been a bit more difficult because our personalities lead us to preach without the traditional whoop and holler associated with the African American religious tradition.  (Truth be told, that’s a part of why I gravitated toward music and writing for my ministry–those areas are much more open to plurality of expression.  I’ve been preaching for over 8 years.  My cousin has been preaching for about 20 years.  It’s safe to say that the traditional whoop and holler probably won’t develop in our deliveries.)

Before the conversation ended, I was sure to encourage my mother to go with her instincts.  She is a astute woman.  I am pretty sure that I only possess a portion of her overall intellectual ability.  She was just raised at a different time when African American women were not given the same opportunities they have today.  As difficult as it was for my father to become a physician, it was essentially unheard of for African American women to receive college educations back then.  My mother did the best that she could though.  She ended up working as an operating room technician before resigning to marry my father.  After their divorce, she went back to work and took on a different career as a billing specialist at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania.  Someday, I hope to have enough time to send to school to earn her own degree though I am sure she would rather I just hurry up, get married, and have some grandchildren for her.  Still, it is sad that people like my mother are so quick to go against their instincts when confronted by someone perceived to be of a higher pedigree.

Secondly, there was the question of whether or not Beyonce lip-synched the national anthem.  Admittedly, when I first watched it, I felt that her voice was too smooth and subdued given the atmosphere of the event and the ridiculously cold weather.  Compare that to Kelly Clarkson’s performance of “My County Tis of Thee,” which was amazing, but clearly affected by the near freezing temperatures.  Nonetheless, I never expected it to grow into what it has become.  According to CNN, an anonymous rep from the inauguration finally admitted that Beyonce lip-synched thereby putting the controversy to rest once and for all–or so I thought.

This morning, I found an article from the New Yorker stating that some Congressional Republicans are calling for President Obama’s resignation over Beyonce’s lip-synching.  Although it was clearly a joke, it got me angry because of how accurate it was in some ways.  The overall premise of this satirical piece is that Republicans are opportunistic and looking for just about any opportunity they can find in order to get President Obama out of office.  Beyonce is arguably the most successful entertainer in the world, but her singing or lip-synching has nothing to do with President Obama’s overall ability.  Nevertheless, Republicans have used plenty of trivial issues to try to discredit President Obama and force him out of office.  Remember, how people conveniently forgot that much of the stimulus package of his first term was passed before his inauguration, meaning it was the doing of President George W. Bush.  Also, Republicans were quick to point out President Obama’s difficulty in passing laws without acknowledging their role in the Congressional deadlock.  I guess they’re consistent.  It’s just disturbing that most of the country cannot see through their games.  Then again, it could be a similar phenomenon to what occurred with my mother while she was watching Cornel West.  Some people are quick to trust the judgment of those in authority over them–even when evidence suggests that they shouldn’t.

Although I have great respect for Professor Cornel West and Tavis Smiley, I am confused by their clear issues with President Obama’s use of the King Bible–especially since the King family approved it.  I guess that’s just their prerogative.  My overall concern with issues like West and Smiley’s critique or the apparent scandal surrounding Beyonce’s lip-synching is that they take the President’s attention away from more pressing issues.  We should support him and let him preside over this country instead of forcing him to defend every one of his moves–especially on trivial, non-political matters like these.

What about you?  What do you think?

Cornel West’s Critique

Beyonce Performing the National Anthem

Bonus: Kelly Clarkson Performing “My County Tis of Thee”

At first, it felt good to be writing about public policy-related issues again.  I am a PhD student in Public Affairs, so I have to pay attention to politics.  It barely felt like work at all to string together a few paragraphs based on the things I read in the Philadelphia Inquirer or in the New York Times.  Then, I hit a snag that reminded me of why I had stopped writing for Examiner.com in the first place.

Examiner.com’s performance rubric requires articles to be considered “newsworthy” in order for them to be promoted on the website.  This promotion is directly linked to the amount of views an article will receive.  Even though I had been eligible for promotion, none of my articles had ever been promoted.  I did not mind at first because I figured that I wasn’t very active on the site.  Nonetheless, I had managed to have nine consecutive articles approved as being newsworthy.  (My tenth article was likely also newsworthy, but I did not have it considered such because it was also the first article I had ever written for Examiner.com and I wasn’t fully sure of what that meant.)

Last week, I submitted what should have been my tenth consecutive newsworthy article.  It was about Cherrelle L. Parker, a Pennsylvania State Representative who had just been convicted of a DUI after her affiliation with Philadelphia politicians via Facebook resulted in her previously dismissed charges being reinstated.  I figured this would be my tenth consecutive newsworthy article, which would have placed me in a higher promotion category.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.

When I had the chance to review the comments on my latest article, I noticed that my article had been rejected as newsworthy because the reviewer felt that my attribution was not as clear as it should have been and my timeline was not established early enough in the article.  Ironically, I had several articles that were written in the exact same format and were approved.  It immediately brought back memories of the last time I stopped writing for Examiner.com–the rules are not clear nor are they evenly applied.

It is difficult to gauge Examiner.com’s criteria for writers when some reviewers let things slide and others are borderline neurotic with their efforts to locate errors.  A part of me feels like my article was rejected because promoting it would have forced Examiner.com to pay me sooner.  Indeed, there have been stories on Rip Off Report suggesting that Examiner.com is just a few steps above being a scam–sort of like the modeling agency that scouted me last year.  People have accused Examiner.com of taking advantage of a weak economy in order to attract writers who will willingly work for little or no pay based on desperation.

While I can’t speak for everybody, I can say that in my own case, I would never have started writing for Examiner.com if I had not lost my job last year.  Suddenly, the potentially meager payments seemed appealing to me–especially when compared to the click-through revenue of this blog in its infancy and the unpredictable income associated with my then fledgling company.  I felt that even if I did not get paid much, the exposure from Examiner.com could prove to be beneficial.  Furthermore, it gave me an incentive to pay more attention to politics in the Philadelphia area.

At this point, I am not whether or not I will keep writing for Examiner.com.  I typically like to finish what I have started, but I am doubtful that writing there is a fruitful use of my already limited time.  As I mentioned in the first post of the year, I am working on a lot of things right now and I can’t afford to waste time anymore.  2013 is going to be a big year for me so I need to focus on things that matter.  Only time will tell if Examiner.com makes the cut, but my revenue through this website is gradually improving.  Right now, I’m focused on building up my own businesses instead.

What about you?  Have you written for Examiner.com?  What was your experience like?

Good Moments:

The singing and overall spirit of the Stellar Awards is always admirable.  However, there were a few moments that stuck out to me as I watched this year.

Mary Mary has used their reality show platform in order to actually strengthen their career.  It was good to see them hosting and performing.  It’s not often that you see a gospel performance that is so well-planned.  Sure I noticed that “Go Get it” was in a lower key, but it didn’t matter.  They proved why they are at the top of the gospel world right now.

I have been a fan of Tamela Mann since her days with Kirk Franklin and the Family.  It felt like I was watching an old friend come into her own when she performed her medley of “Take Me to  the King” and “I Surrender All.”  It looks like all those years of singing with Tyler Perry and playing Cora, the daughter of Brown who the character played by her husband David Mann, has finally paid off for her.  I wish her the best.

Watching Kierra Sheard’s humility as she accepted her award was amazing.  At first, I was a bit thrown off by her referring to her parents as “Mommy” and “Daddy,” but I later realized that she was legitimately shocked that she won.  I especially liked the way she shared the spotlight with her brother and often silent collaborator J. Drew Sheard.  It definitely gave hope to all aspiring musicians out there who are building makeshift studios in their closets.

I enjoyed Leandria Johnson’s performance so much that I had to watch it twice on my DVR. It brought me back to the first time I saw her on Sunday Best and reminded me of why I sing.

Bad Moments:

Watching award shows with my family is always an adventure because of our collective, twisted sense of humor.  The Stellar Awards were no exception–especially considering how badly some African American church folk dress.  (Sometimes, I find myself feeling like many stylists who cater to gospel artists are scammers.)  Whether we like it or not, clothing choices can be distracting.  Although some in the African American church are known for their amazing fashion sense, others are could use a bit of help.  We know that some African American church women are a bit too liberal with makeup, weave, and huge prom dresses.  There is such a thing as too much.  We also know that some African American church men end up inadvertently looking like pimps thanks to their insistence upon wearing suits in odd colors.  Indeed, these suit colors contribute to the audience at events like the Stellar Awards looking like a bag of Skittles.  Needless to say, my family was in rare form as we watched the award show together.

At one point, my kindhearted uncle said he was convinced that the only explanation for Kirk Franklin’s second outfit was that he had gotten dressed in a dark room.  Since Kirk was front-and-center thanks to his hosting duties, there was no missing his second outfit that may have been a bit too adventurous.

We agreed that James Fortune’s pants were too tight.  Enough said.

We also wondered why Byron Cage and Charles Jenkins wore metallic silver and gold suit jackets respectively.  Indeed, this phenomenon led us to break out in an impromptu rendition of Kirk Franklin’s “Silver and Gold.”

At another point, my sweet cousins noted the extreme prevalence of growls in today’s gospel music by making noises that sounded like cats.  (I personally appreciate a good squall or growl every now and then.  The problem is that many artists rely on squalls and growls to elicit a reaction from the audience.  As a result, they are often overdone in venues like the Stellars.)

However, our biggest complaint was that many of the performances seemed rushed and too short.  While it’s nice to give everyone a chance to sing, it felt like many of the performances ended before the singers actually got the chance to get comfortable with the stage.  It’s almost like the organic worship that typically makes the Stellar Awards so interesting to watch was stifled a bit.  Still, I understand that the live telecast meant that the program actually had to come in at under 2 hours so the schedule was definitely tighter than usual.

There is a lot more that I could write about the Stellar Awards this year, but I made a promise to be brief.  Therefore, I will end this post by saying that this year’s award show allowed me to see just how much effort is being put forth by the gospel music industry to ensure that its quality meets or exceeds that of the traditional, secular music industry.  Sometimes, I feel as if some gospel artists settle for mediocrity or attempt to poorly imitate popular secular artists instead of being the unique individuals that God created them to be.  (Ironically, very few successful secular artists are copycats.  I’m not sure why so many gospel artists spend so much time trying to be just like other artists instead of being original, but that’s another story.)  If this telecast is any indication the gospel music world has come a long way in that respect.

Did you watch the Stellar Awards?  What did you think?

Like many people, I missed going to DC for either of President Obama’s inaugurations.  This year I felt especially torn when I found out how many friends and acquaintances of mine would be there.  However, I knew that my budget was extra tight.  Sure I will be doing a lot of traveling on behalf of Ministerial Life, but realistically, I needed time to actually bring in the money to fund it.  I tried to cheer myself up by reminding myself that I do not like cold weather and that I would likely have a better view of the day’s events from my television screen in my apartment.  Nonetheless, there is just something special about actually being there to witness the first African American president’s inaugurations in person.  There’s a big difference between being able to tell my unborn children that “I was there” instead of “I watched it on TV.”  A part of me is still accepting that my story will be the latter instead of the former, but at least I will still be able to say “I remember when that happened.”

This past weekend, I was slightly lamenting the fact that I would also miss President Obama’s second inauguration when I went to a nearby bookstore to conduct an alumni interview of a prospective student for my alma mater.  It’s one of the few things I do to give back.  I figured people generally don’t expect a 6’2″ black man with long locs to be a Yale alum so it’s often exciting to go against the typical stereotype Ivy Leaguers being rich older Caucasian men.  Ironically, I sort of thought that the only people who would notice my lack of adherence to the stereotype would be the prospective students I interviewed.  So far, they have been pretty openminded and seemingly colorblind though they have also been all Caucasian.  It never occurred to me what these interviews look like to people outside of the exchange until an older Caucasian woman randomly came up to me mid-interview to express her opinion.  I was right in the middle of talking to the student about Yale’s residential college system when she appeared and said to me:

“I just wanted to tell you how much seeing you helping him like this makes my day.  I joined the NAACP over 30 years ago and it’s good to see that something like this is possible now.  It really makes my life’s work worthwhile.”

I responded with an awkward “Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” she replied emphatically before walking away.

After saying a few things to alleviate the awkwardness being felt by my interviewee (who was already pretty stressed about being interviewed for college), I had the chance to reflect on the woman’s words.  In a lot of ways, the existence of me and people like me is proof of how far our society has come.  Martin Luther King, Jr. and countless others died so that I could have these opportunities.  At the same time, the fact that it is still unusual to see an African American man talking to a Caucasian high school student about higher education still shows just how much work we have ahead of us.

President Obama’s second inauguration is a major milestone for racial equality in this nation.  If you followed the journey to the election in November, you’ll remember that there were several points when it seemed that a second win would be unlikely.  People were extra harsh on Obama’s performance at the first debate and were pretty quick to discredit all of his accomplishments because of his inability to navigate through the Republican-induced, gerrymandering-protected deadlock in Congress.  It didn’t help that religious leaders like Franklin Graham who had once viewed Mormonism as a cult were now backtracking because they wanted to support Mitt Romney and still try to make it appear that Barack Obama was not a Christian.  He overcame those obstacles, but the mere existence of these obstacles shows just how much work needs to be done before Martin Luther King, Jr’s dream can become our reality.

In the end, my caution for Americans–especially African Americans–is that we do not take a few major milestones as proof that all is well with our society.  We can’t view President Barack Obama’s second inauguration or the existence of African American Ivy League alumni like my friends and me as proof that our nation has reached a level or racial equality.  We can acknowledge the progress, but we still have to acknowledge that racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, and other forms of systemic inequality exist and need to be confronted.  Only then will Martin Luther King, Jr’s dream be able to fully come to pass.