The Ministry of Dick Van Dyke's Accent

2011-12-13T07:44:00.001-08:00

2011-12-03T22:48:00.001-08:00

From a far-flung friend...

Hey Ministry: I wanted to send you over a little treat of a video that I shot at my girlfriend's apartment here in Córdoba, Argentina. It's from a counterfeit dvd purchased on the street with 5 classic films compressed on to one DVD in ultra-shit quality, one of which is Mary Poppins. This version is over dubbed with very hammy Castillian (Spain) Spanish, and even though we are deprived of dick's famous accent, the overdubbed one is also pretty horrendous. For whatever its worth here it is... All the best, SJ

Neil Gaiman's American Accent Inspired by Dick Van Dyke

2011-11-19T09:51:00.001-08:00

Pittsburgh Post Gazette Staff Blogs, November 18, 2011, "Neil Gaiman guests on 'The Simpsons' Sunday, then it's back to writing" by Sharon Eberson.

The toughest thing for him was the reading of a line that required a bad American accent. He kept being told to make it worse, until it was suggested he think of Dick Van Dyke’s British accent in “Mary Poppins.” “It’s the kind that makes our toes curl, like when he says [and here Mr. Gaiman launches into Dick Van Dyke as Burt], ‘It’s a jolly holiday with Mary.’ So I tried to reach those heights, or depths.”

The Dick Van Dyke School for Cockney Studies

2011-08-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

Just catching up on the backlog. Haven't updated the blog in forever, so there are 50 or 60 Dick Van Dyke references to catch up on.

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Obsessed With Film, March 30th, 2011, "TV Review: Martina Cole's THE RUNAWAY" by Simon Gallagher.

Everyone looks like they’re fresh from the Danny Dyer/Tamer Hassan school of acting (which incidentally owes a lot to the Dick Van Dyke school for Cockney Studies).

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RPG Fan, April 1st, 2011, "April Fools 2011: Details on the Possible Final Kingdom Hearts Title" by John Tucker.

The biggest surprises, though, come in the form of new worlds. Having already explored many iconic Disney worlds in previous Kingdom Hearts games, Square Enix is now branching out into new territory. Over the years, many have mocked Dick Van Dyke's attempt at a cockney accent, but we'll be hearing it again when he joins the party in a Mary Poppins-themed world.

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Philadelphia Magazine, April 1st, 2011, "Review: “Mary Poppins” at the Academy of Music" by Aaron Mettey.

Yet for all of the effort made to ensure Mary looks/acts like Julie Andrews’s Mary, more care should have been taken with casting Bert. Inevitably, you can’t imagine anyone other than Dick Van Dyke playing Bert—horrible accent, and all. So Nicolas Dromard is already at a disadvantage. No matter how much he is able to bring/b to the role (which is actually quite a lot), I couldn’t help but want someone lankier, someone more … well, Van Dyke-ian.

Impressions of DVD; Never Not Funny!

2011-08-16T17:54:00.000-07:00
This Is Fake DIY, 10th March 10th, 2011, "Matthew Fox's West End Stage Debut" by Becky Reed.

Before then, we were treated to a meaty 45-minute talk on this particular night. Fox and Williams relaxed on the set sofa, wine in hand (red for Matthew, white for Olivia), while LaBute entertained us with shit Dick Van Dyke impressions whilst sipping on a Coke.

Dick Van Dyke, Dialect Preservationist

2011-08-16T17:41:00.001-07:00
News Shopper, March 9th, 2011, "Chas 'n' Dave take farewell tour to The Orchard and IndigO2" by Matthew Jenkin.

And with the news last summer the famous cockney dialect will be all but a memory within a generation, preserved in vintage episodes of EastEnders and shonky Dick Van Dyke films, should we shed a tear for the end of an era?

Saddest Love Story

2011-08-16T15:53:00.000-07:00
The Vine, March 9th, 2011 "Mary Poppins- the saddest unrequited love story Disney ever made" by Vera Bermuda

I’m sure as a child I realised there must have been something between Mary and Bert. After all, as other movies had shown me, if there was a male and female character of the same age and species, they would naturally be in love by the film’s end. Mary and Bert never so much as kiss in the film, but the flirtation is clear and, as I discovered yesterday, the on-screen chemistry between Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke is palpable. There are meaningful looks, warm compliments, tender physical contact, but at the end of the film Mary is gone, flying off into the smoggy London sky, and the romance between herself and Bert remains unrequited.

From the beginning of the film the connection between the two is established. As Bert attempts to earn a few bob as a one-man band in the film’s initial scene the wind picks up and he is overtaken by a kind of reverie. Lost in the moment he casts his eyes skyward and with an anticipatory chill (and a terrible cockney accent) sings:

Can’t put me finger on what lies in store
But I feel what’s to ‘appen, all ‘appened before.

Accent Toned Down Below DVD Level: Media Complains About Earlier Level

2011-08-16T15:48:00.000-07:00
Daily Mirror, July 7th, 2011, "Law And Order: UK - ITV1, 9pm" by Jane Simon

Not least because Jamie Bamber’s Dick Van Dyke mockney accent has been toned down so that you’re not expecting Chas and Dave to gatecrash proceedings at any moment for a tinkle on the old Joanna.

DVD's Accent is as English as Muffins To an Australian

2011-08-16T15:42:00.000-07:00
The Age, March 5, 2011, "Divide and Conquer" by Graham Hunter

Liverpool FC (''we are Britain's kings of Europe'') face Manchester United (''we are the richest, we are the most talked about'') in a battle royale.

This is the Premiership's fiercest rivalry. It should be as English as muffins, whingeing, rain, crumpets, cream and jam, Walkabout Pubs, Dick Van Dyke doing a horrible accent in Mary Poppins and Sir Ian Botham crowing about the cricket.

Spot On!

2011-03-04T10:04:00.000-08:00
This is a slide show of twenty entries. Couple of new additions to the roster of actors with bad accents include: Humphrey Bogart's attempt at an Irish brogue in Dark Victory; Mickey Rooney's yellowface performance in Breakfast at Tiffany's; Demi Moore's awful British accent in Flawless. Bonus -- includes links to YouTube clips.

Toronto Sun, March 2, 2011, "Worst Movie Accents".

WHO: Dick Van Dyke as Bert. MOVIE: “Mary Poppins” (1964). ACCENT SUPPOSED TO BE: British (Cockney). SOUNDS LIKE: A man who needs a new dialect coach.

Dr. Mark Sloan and Mr. Hyde

2011-03-02T11:01:00.000-08:00
BroadwayWorld.com, March 1, 2011, "JEKYLL AND HYDE, New Wimbledon Theatre" by Gary Naylor

After Frank Wildhorn and Leslie Bricusse wrought almost as thoroughgoing a transformation on the tale as Doctor Jekyll did to himself, this version provides plenty of setpiece songs, mercifully few special effects and costume changes and yet more opportunities to hear that stage Cockney accent that owes rather more to Dick Van Dyke than to the East End of London..

An Oscar Nod

2011-03-01T09:35:00.000-08:00
An English actor who can do a good American accent, chided for reverting to an English accent. Hoo-kay.

The Telegraph, Feb. 28, 2011, "Oscars 2011 highlights: best and worst moments" by Anita Singh

And an honourable mention for Christian Bale, who had an American accent a while back but now appears to be channelling Dick Van Dyke.

Tweet, Tweet, Birdie

2011-02-16T09:10:00.000-08:00
Moments ago on Twitter:

@jupitusphillip Phillip Jupitus
Lawks! Doris Day's 'Do Not Disturb' is on Film 4 now. British accent work that makes Dick Van Dyke sound like Brian Sewell...

Something's Missing.

2011-02-13T11:30:00.000-08:00
Hang on -- mention of Dick Van Dyke and British accents, check. Mention of accent coach, check. Mention of "...lazy mouth Midwesterners," check. Mention of how bad Dick Van Dyke's accent was...

Oh, it's an American speaking. Carry on.

The Plymouth Patch (Plymouth, Michigan), Feburary 13, 2010, "Barefoot Productions Takes on British Farce with 'Black Comedy'" By Nicole Krawcke

“I’ve told the entire cast through the rehearsal process that this is really nothing more than a Dick Van Dyke episode with British accents,” Hane said.

"SCOTLAND!"

2011-01-23T20:05:00.000-08:00
Dick Van Dyke referenced at 0:57.

Thanks, Fred!

DVD Chided for NOT Doing an Accent

2010-12-08T09:40:00.000-08:00
Poor guy gets criticized for doing a bad cockney accent even when he isn't doing one.

The Daily Journal (New Jersey), December 8, 2010, "'Disney's A Christmas Carol' now out on DVD" by Joanne Thornborough.

Perhaps the worst musical ever committed to celluloid, "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" (now on Blu-ray; previously available on DVD) is an abomination in so many ways the only question to be asked is what drug was the studio exec on who greenlit this.

The basic plot -- if you can call it that -- has a widowed eccentric inventor (Dick Van Dyke, who avoids an English accent, but introduces a few unaddressed questions in the process) raising his two kids with an assist from his equally eccentric father (Lionel Jeffries) all while slowly developing a romantic attachment to the daughter (Sally Ann Howes) of a mildly cantankerous confectioner.

"They Just Tease Me to Death"

2010-12-06T07:40:00.000-08:00
I didn't want this blog to turn into a fan page for Dick Van Dyke, but I can't help it. He knows the accent was crap. He laughs along with anyone who teases him about it. How could you not love this guy?

Los Angeles Times, December 6, 2010, "A step in time with Dick Van Dyke" by Susan King.

But Van Dyke is quick to point out that the "British people have never left me off the hook" about his less-than-picture-perfect Cockney accent. "They just tease me to death," he says, laughing.

"Somebody sent me a British magazine listing the 20 worst dialects ever done in movies. I was No. 2, with the worst Cockney accent ever done. No. 1 was Sean Connery, because he uses his Scottish brogue no matter what he's playing."

An Appalling Matriarch

2010-12-05T09:20:00.000-08:00
I know his accent slid around a lot, but apparently now he sounds like an appalling English matriarch.

The Independent on Sunday, December 5, 2010, "Audio books for Christmas: I've heard so much about you -- Old (and new) favourites excel in their aural exam" by Sue Gaisford.

Like them, the Litvinoffs have Jewish roots and have risen high in left-leaning American society. If every Berglund demands individual liberty, all of the Litvinoffs, known in Zoë Heller's novel as The Believers (Whole Story, unabridged, £24.99), have passionately held principles which, inevitably, clash ferociously. It is funny, polemical and fairly well read by Tara Ward – though the appalling English matriarch's accent owes more to Dick Van Dyke than Deptford.

Bloody 'Ell!

2010-11-25T13:31:00.000-08:00
Steady on, I don't remember DVD saying "Bloody 'ell" in Mary Poppins!

Indie Movies Online Com, November 25, 2010, Top five terrible movie accents by Paul Martin

Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins (1964)

Awight, guv'nor, 'ow the bloody 'ell are ya? Yes, if there's one accent that the majority of folks seem to labour under the collective delusion that they are capable of brilliantly imitating then it is the stereotypical cockney twang of old Lahndan taaawn. This is despite the fact that the vast majority of experiments in this sphere come off sounding as cluelessly inaccurate as the voice employed by Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.

Although in defence of the faltering efforts of every cockney imitator who isn't Van Dyke, they are most often simply trying to score a cheap laugh from their mates. They are not anchoring a Disney blockbuster in the pivotal role of a lovable chimney-sweep. Were they doing that then you would perhaps expect them to indulge in some exhaustive research. Listening to genuine Londoners speaking and analysing the nuances that shape those distinctive tones. Not roll out a theoretical East End patter which suggests cockneys are not real, live breathing human beings, but rather creatures of antediluvian myth, with uninformed speculation being the sole recourse as to recreating how they might possibly have sounded.

It Would Be Tacky...

2010-11-25T13:25:00.000-08:00
It would be tacky to make a passing reference, but not tacky to make a passing reference to making a passing reference.

heyuguys.com, November 25, 2010, "London Boulevard Review" by Emily Breen.

You will doubtless hear numerous accounts and re-enactments of Colin’s comedy cockney accent this week. It would be cruel of me to dwell on it further here and tacky to make even passing reference to Dick Van Dyke. So I shan’t. I will, however, point out that Ben Chaplin’s accent is equally preposterous and just as worthy of the world’s derision. And as for Mr Winstone…

Football Player Can't Do a London Accent

2010-11-21T19:01:00.000-08:00
The Independent, November 22, 2010, "Ancelotti 'just a technician' as Bowyer adds to Chelsea's woes" by Phil Shaw.

Johnson, a £5m snip from Cardiff, believes he merits a chance. "He says 'What've I gotta do, gaffer?'," McLeish said in the worst London accent since Dick van Dyke went cockney in Mary Poppins.

DVD's Accent: Hated by the Daily Mail

2010-11-19T13:21:00.000-08:00
So now, as you read a book, when you hear a cockney accent as you imagine how a character sounds, if that accent is poorly done, it's Dick Van Dyke's fault.

Daily Mail, November 18 2010, "OUT NOW IN PAPERBACK" by Amber Pearson.

THE SILVER LOCKET BY MARGARET JAMES (Choc Lit £7.99)

...But Rose has other ideas, and the war provides the perfect opportunity for escape when she runs away to London to train as a nurse. It brings her into contact with a different life, not to mention some cor-blimey Cockneys (think Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins).

"THE British Accent"?

2010-11-11T12:18:00.000-08:00
As if there were only one.

USA Today, November 10, 2010, "Today's Pop Five: Cory A.'s 'dying is fine' songs"

Mt. Desolation, State of Our Affairs -- If Dick Van Dyke can slaughter the British accent Mary Poppins freestyle, I think it only fair the Brits do what they want with country music.

Dick Van Dyke is secretly Aquaman

2010-11-11T10:45:00.000-08:00
DVD has been telling a story about when he went surfing and was rescued by porpoises. It was just a matter of time until someone made a joke about his accent...

From Twitter this AM:

@MJMcKean Michael McKean http://bit.ly/bVxGIy Great story. Incidentally, each of those heroic porpoises could do a better Cockney accent than Mr. Van Dyke.

DVD Explains All!

2010-10-24T10:04:00.000-07:00
Interview with Dick Van Dyke on NPR's "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me", October 23rd, 2010

SAGAL: You did "Mary Poppins" and despite your amazing charm and the incredible success of the movie, you did get a little guff for your accent.

Mr. VAN DYKE: Oh, I don't talk to British people because they just make a mess of me.

SAGAL: Really?

Mr. VAN DYKE: Oh, they tease me to death about it.

SAGAL: Are they good natured about it at least?

Mr. VAN DYKE: Oh, sure. They just tease me. But I'll never hear the end of that. But I have a defense.

SAGAL: What is your defense, sir?

Mr. VAN DYKE: They got me a coach who was Irish.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. VAN DYKE: His name was Pat O'Malley and he didn't do an accent any better than I did.