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Here are 10 things that resonate deeply with parents of toddlers:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Power of “No”\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToddlers discover the word \"no\" and use it with fervor, often at the most inconvenient times. It becomes their favorite word as they assert their independence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEndless Energy\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToddlers have boundless energy. From the moment they wake up to when they finally crash, they are constantly on the move, exploring everything around them.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEpic Meltdowns\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe smallest thing can trigger a meltdown of epic proportions. Whether it's the wrong color cup or the inability to wear pajamas all day, you learn to navigate these emotional storms.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Obsession with Repetition\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhether it's reading the same book 20 times in a row or watching the same episode of a show on repeat, toddlers thrive on repetition, and parents quickly memorize every line.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTiny Dictators\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToddlers have strong opinions about everything from what they wear to what they eat. Negotiations with a toddler can feel like you're dealing with a tiny, unpredictable dictator.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSelective Hearing\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToddlers have the uncanny ability to completely ignore you when you're asking them to do something they don't want to do, yet they can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper from across the house.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFood Phases\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne day they love a certain food, the next day it’s their worst enemy. Navigating their ever-changing food preferences can be both baffling and frustrating.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Joy of Small Things\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToddlers find immense joy in the simplest things—like splashing in puddles, playing with a cardboard box, or watching birds. Their excitement is infectious.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Mess\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToddlers are experts at creating messes in record time. Whether it’s spreading toys across every room or turning a meal into a full-body experience, messes are just part of daily life.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCuddles and Hugs\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDespite the challenges, nothing beats the sweetness of a toddler’s hug or the way they snuggle up to you. Those moments make all the tough times worth it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese experiences, while sometimes exhausting, are also filled with precious memories that parents of toddlers cherish.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eParents of toddlers experience a unique set of challenges and joys that only those who have been through it can truly understand. Here are 10 things that resonate deeply with parents of toddlers:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Power of “No”\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eToddlers discover the word \"no\" and use it with fervor, often at the most inconvenient times. It becomes their favorite word as they assert their independence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEndless Energy\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eToddlers have boundless energy. From the moment they wake up to when they finally crash, they are constantly on the move, exploring everything around them.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEpic Meltdowns\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThe smallest thing can trigger a meltdown of epic proportions. Whether it's the wrong color cup or the inability to wear pajamas all day, you learn to navigate these emotional storms.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Obsession with Repetition\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhether it's reading the same book 20 times in a row or watching the same episode of a show on repeat, toddlers thrive on repetition, and parents quickly memorize every line.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTiny Dictators\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eToddlers have strong opinions about everything from what they wear to what they eat. Negotiations with a toddler can feel like you're dealing with a tiny, unpredictable dictator.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSelective Hearing\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eToddlers have the uncanny ability to completely ignore you when you're asking them to do something they don't want to do, yet they can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper from across the house.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFood Phases\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne day they love a certain food, the next day it’s their worst enemy. Navigating their ever-changing food preferences can be both baffling and frustrating.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Joy of Small Things\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eToddlers find immense joy in the simplest things—like splashing in puddles, playing with a cardboard box, or watching birds. Their excitement is infectious.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Mess\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eToddlers are experts at creating messes in record time. Whether it’s spreading toys across every room or turning a meal into a full-body experience, messes are just part of daily life.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCuddles and Hugs\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eDespite the challenges, nothing beats the sweetness of a toddler’s hug or the way they snuggle up to you. Those moments make all the tough times worth it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese experiences, while sometimes exhausting, are also filled with precious memories that parents of toddlers cherish.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/d1a64335-91e4-40cf-93f7-26d98c99d486?resourceVersion=id%3A78"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"ff95cd1e-5579-4235-b72f-655e7fa49cb2","drupal_internal__fid":47,"langcode":"en","filename":"toddler.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2024-08/toddler.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2024-08/toddler.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":1109519,"status":true,"created":"2024-08-13T21:53:48+00:00","changed":"2024-08-13T21:54:12+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2024-08/toddler.jpg?itok=E7Hn7Plp","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2024-08/toddler.jpg?itok=Z2al-FF7","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/ff95cd1e-5579-4235-b72f-655e7fa49cb2"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"grumpy toddler","title":"","width":4165,"height":2780,"drupal_internal__target_id":47},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"eebbb834-c952-4342-9418-4e11de7c3181","title":"The Surprise Adoption: It Happened out of the Blue","created":"2024-08-13T21:29:28+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/the-surprise-adoption-it-happened-out-of-the-blue","pid":61,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eOkay, you’re probably thinking there’s no such thing as a surprise adoption.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter all, in order to adopt you must do a variety of things that you can hardly do without meaning to. Things like showing caseworkers your home. Leaving your fingerprints at the local police station for posterity. Clearing out the bedroom you’ve been using since 2005\u0026nbsp;as a place to dump everything you can’t quite get rid of but will never need again. Sometimes you even have to spend substantial sums of money for birth mother health care or to collect a variety of documents with mysterious functions.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd there’s always stuff to buy, like the newest baby monitor and the sliding rocking chair that you fall out of while holding your baby within the first two weeks of bringing her home. Or your best friend does. Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll true. But mine was as close to accidental as you can get. I practically had sex without a condom. Heterosexual sex that is.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s not that I didn’t want a child—I did. I’d been trying to birth a child myself for what seemed like forever. My ex and I had visited countless infertility doctors and I had gone through every infertility treatment you can imagine—from the commonplace hormone shots in the bum to the ultramodern scopes being poked through my navel and purple dye being squirted through my fallopian tubes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut then came the “ex” part of that relationship. It’s not that I didn’t deserve to be left. I did. But now I was stuck with an old house, a new mortgage, and a paycheck that never went far enough. There was no way my checkbook could endure more medical procedures or I could begin to pursue any of the expensive options for infant adoption. After a few months of sleeping until noon and eating way too many double-chocolate fudge brownies I ended up driving to a foster care class with the same spirit with which I had gone to the doctor’s office each month. I didn’t believe anything would come of it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI should have known foster care wasn’t for me. I absolutely could not work with abusive parents. Nor could I be patient with the red tape the bureaucracy seemed to crank out by the mile. But the thought of actually adopting a child old enough to talk to me made me break out in a cold sweat.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStill, I had already had eight weeks of parenting classes under my belt. I had unpacked enough boxes in the spare room so that they wouldn’t fall over and crush the caseworker on her way through. I had found places for my old Barry Manilow CDs\u0026nbsp;and college term papers rescuing notable queers from the anonymity of history. And I had done some serious reflection on my previous experience in a sliding rocking chair and decided against buying one. I might as well ask. At the next to last class I approached the head caseworker, a stern looking woman with steel gray hair and sensible shoes. “If I wanted to adopt, instead of foster, would there be much more to do to be approved?” I asked.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe caseworker looked me up and down. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, feeling like I had asked a stupid question in elementary school. “Oh, much more, Melissa,” she said. “Adoption is forever, you know.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell, duh. If feeling like a kid being called before the school principal wasn’t enough to dissuade me, the next week an adoptive parent of three children visited our class and totally convinced me to run far, far away. The youngest of her children had been adopted at three years old. Getting a child from the public system at age three was almost unheard of, and everyone wanted to hear more. They barraged her with questions: “How were you able to adopt a three year old? Isn’t that unusually young?” and “Did you feel getting him so much younger than the other two meant that you bonded more strongly with him?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI sensed something wrong here. The woman couldn’t look into our eyes. But the others kept up their questioning. Hope and longing were throbbing as they hung in the air. The woman must have felt like she was surrounded by a pack of hungry dogs.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFinally, she gave in. “When I adopted him, I made a commitment to be his parent, no matter what. I hoped I would grow to love him. I didn’t, but I’m still committed to being his mother.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat? Not love your own child? That was it. There was no way I was giving up sleeping until noon for a kid I didn’t love. I had conjured up idyllic visions of what motherhood would be like during all those months of trying to have a baby--and this wasn’t it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI never signed the foster parent papers. I never requested the additional adoption paperwork. I went merrily on my way and put those classes behind me. I got a roommate, so the house wasn’t dark nearly so often. I fell into a hot and heavy love affair. I kept right on sleeping till noon.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was only a little surprised when my caseworker called several months later. I figured she was just calling to get me to sign the foster parent papers. They had been ready ages ago, I knew. Everyone had told me about the desperate need for decent foster homes. But it wouldn’t be my home.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStill, the caseworker called again and again. I called her back after about a week of messages piled up. Her persistence made me curious.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“We wondered if you were still interested in adopting,” she said to me. “Because if you are, I think we’ve got a little girl for you.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat? Her voice flattened me. I couldn’t see anything but the number for the home-finding unit scratched in the margins of a yellow pizza delivery menu stuck under the telephone.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey actually wanted me to be someone’s mother?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey did. So there you have it folks. It’s your call—accidental? Surprise? Or no?\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eOkay, you’re probably thinking there’s no such thing as a surprise adoption.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter all, in order to adopt you must do a variety of things that you can hardly do without meaning to. Things like showing caseworkers your home. Leaving your fingerprints at the local police station for posterity. Clearing out the bedroom you’ve been using since 2005 as a place to dump everything you can’t quite get rid of but will never need again. Sometimes you even have to spend substantial sums of money for birth mother health care or to collect a variety of documents with mysterious functions.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd there’s always stuff to buy, like the newest baby monitor and the sliding rocking chair that you fall out of while holding your baby within the first two weeks of bringing her home. Or your best friend does. Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll true. But mine was as close to accidental as you can get. I practically had sex without a condom. Heterosexual sex that is.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s not that I didn’t want a child—I did. I’d been trying to birth a child myself for what seemed like forever. My ex and I had visited countless infertility doctors and I had gone through every infertility treatment you can imagine—from the commonplace hormone shots in the bum to the ultramodern scopes being poked through my navel and purple dye being squirted through my fallopian tubes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut then came the “ex” part of that relationship. It’s not that I didn’t deserve to be left. I did. But now I was stuck with an old house, a new mortgage, and a paycheck that never went far enough. There was no way my checkbook could endure more medical procedures or I could begin to pursue any of the expensive options for infant adoption. After a few months of sleeping until noon and eating way too many double-chocolate fudge brownies I ended up driving to a foster care class with the same spirit with which I had gone to the doctor’s office each month. I didn’t believe anything would come of it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI should have known foster care wasn’t for me. I absolutely could not work with abusive parents. Nor could I be patient with the red tape the bureaucracy seemed to crank out by the mile. But the thought of actually adopting a child old enough to talk to me made me break out in a cold sweat.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStill, I had already had eight weeks of parenting classes under my belt. I had unpacked enough boxes in the spare room so that they wouldn’t fall over and crush the caseworker on her way through. I had found places for my old Barry Manilow CDs and college term papers rescuing notable queers from the anonymity of history. And I had done some serious reflection on my previous experience in a sliding rocking chair and decided against buying one. I might as well ask. At the next to last class I approached the head caseworker, a stern looking woman with steel gray hair and sensible shoes. “If I wanted to adopt, instead of foster, would there be much more to do to be approved?” I asked.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe caseworker looked me up and down. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, feeling like I had asked a stupid question in elementary school. “Oh, much more, Melissa,” she said. “Adoption is forever, you know.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell, duh. If feeling like a kid being called before the school principal wasn’t enough to dissuade me, the next week an adoptive parent of three children visited our class and totally convinced me to run far, far away. The youngest of her children had been adopted at three years old. Getting a child from the public system at age three was almost unheard of, and everyone wanted to hear more. They barraged her with questions: “How were you able to adopt a three year old? Isn’t that unusually young?” and “Did you feel getting him so much younger than the other two meant that you bonded more strongly with him?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI sensed something wrong here. The woman couldn’t look into our eyes. But the others kept up their questioning. Hope and longing were throbbing as they hung in the air. The woman must have felt like she was surrounded by a pack of hungry dogs.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFinally, she gave in. “When I adopted him, I made a commitment to be his parent, no matter what. I hoped I would grow to love him. I didn’t, but I’m still committed to being his mother.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat? Not love your own child? That was it. There was no way I was giving up sleeping until noon for a kid I didn’t love. I had conjured up idyllic visions of what motherhood would be like during all those months of trying to have a baby--and this wasn’t it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI never signed the foster parent papers. I never requested the additional adoption paperwork. I went merrily on my way and put those classes behind me. I got a roommate, so the house wasn’t dark nearly so often. I fell into a hot and heavy love affair. I kept right on sleeping till noon.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was only a little surprised when my caseworker called several months later. I figured she was just calling to get me to sign the foster parent papers. They had been ready ages ago, I knew. Everyone had told me about the desperate need for decent foster homes. But it wouldn’t be my home.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStill, the caseworker called again and again. I called her back after about a week of messages piled up. Her persistence made me curious.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“We wondered if you were still interested in adopting,” she said to me. “Because if you are, I think we’ve got a little girl for you.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat? Her voice flattened me. I couldn’t see anything but the number for the home-finding unit scratched in the margins of a yellow pizza delivery menu stuck under the telephone.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey actually wanted me to be someone’s mother?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey did. So there you have it folks. It’s your call—accidental? Surprise? Or no?\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/eebbb834-c952-4342-9418-4e11de7c3181?resourceVersion=id%3A76"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"025bafb0-6cc0-4fe0-aa8f-f776bc168228","drupal_internal__tid":34,"drupal_internal__revision_id":34,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-30T19:13:39+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Melissa Doak","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-30T19:13:39+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Melissa Doak | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/34"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/025bafb0-6cc0-4fe0-aa8f-f776bc168228?resourceVersion=id%3A34"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":34},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"190383f3-1c7f-40de-8d1b-6a6201b47b6e","drupal_internal__fid":46,"langcode":"en","filename":"childcustody.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2024-08/childcustody.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2024-08/childcustody.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":491430,"status":true,"created":"2024-08-13T21:31:44+00:00","changed":"2024-08-13T21:32:51+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2024-08/childcustody.jpg?itok=rADlXz8d","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2024-08/childcustody.jpg?itok=AJIRhAIr","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/190383f3-1c7f-40de-8d1b-6a6201b47b6e"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Child custody document","title":"","width":849,"height":565,"drupal_internal__target_id":46},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"16bab11f-49f4-4537-a11c-01725bf0edd3","title":"Effective stress management strategies for parents: tips for mental wellness and balance","created":"2023-12-12T23:14:59+00:00","path":{"alias":"/effective-stress-management-strategies-parents-tips-mental-wellness-and-balance","pid":60,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eParenting young children is the magical time where your house looks like a toy bomb exploded and you find yourself asking, \"Is that chocolate or...?\" more often than you'd like to admit. But let's face it, amidst the laughter and the \"aww\" moments, parenting can sometimes feel like trying to stuff a wild octopus into a shopping bag — utterly stressful! Fear not, brave parents, for here are some tried-and-tested tips to manage your stress levels.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmbrace the Chaos — It's Your New Normal\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFirst things first, let go of the dream that your home will look like a page from a lifestyle magazine. Accept the Legos on the floor and the mystery stains on your couch as part of your décor. Congratulations, you now have a \"cozy lived-in\" house!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Me Time\" is Not a Myth — Find It\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRemember those days when you could read a book, enjoy a hot cup of coffee, or even go to the bathroom alone? They can still exist! Sneak in a quick shower while the kids are napping or entrust them to your partner or a family member for an hour of uninterrupted peace. You might come back to a house that resembles a scene from a superhero movie, but hey, at least you'll be relaxed!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLaughter is the Best Medicine\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKids are naturally hilarious. Instead of getting frustrated at their antics, join in! Wear the pasta necklace with pride, laugh at their nonsensical jokes, and dance in the living room. It’s therapeutic and makes for great stories later.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Art of Distraction — For You and Them\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKids have the attention span of a goldfish. Use it to your advantage! Swap a tantrum for a puppet show or a messy snack time for a surprise bath with extra bubbles. As for you, find a hobby or activity that can momentarily distract you from the chaos. Gardening, painting, or even a good old scream into a pillow can work wonders.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eExercise — Or What We Call \"Chase the Toddler\"\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWho needs a gym membership when you have kids? Playing tag, lifting them like weights (safely, of course), or simply trying to keep up with them is a workout in itself. Plus, it’s a great way to tire them out for bedtime — double win!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSocialize with Fellow Sufferers, er, Parents\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSometimes, all you need is to know that you're not alone in this wild ride. Connect with other parents, share war stories, and laugh over how you all haven’t slept properly in years. Misery loves company, but it also brings some great advice and support.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBedtime — The Holy Grail\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYes, it’s tempting to use the quiet hours after the kids are in bed to catch up on chores or work. But this is also the perfect time to relax. Watch that TV show (without animated characters, hooray!), read a book, or simply do nothing. Embrace the silence — it's golden.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLower Your Standards — Just a Bit\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfection is overrated (hello, this is the Imperfect Parent after all), and frankly, impossible with young kids. So, the cake you baked looks like a disaster? If it's edible, it's a success. Clothes mismatched? Call it a new fashion trend. Lowering the bar a little can significantly reduce stress.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRemember, This Too Shall Pass\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOn days when everything seems to be falling apart, remind yourself that this phase won’t last forever. One day, you’ll miss these chaotic, messy, loud, but utterly beautiful moments. Well, maybe not the loud part.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eParenting young children is a rollercoaster of emotions, mess, and stress. But with a pinch of humor, a dash of patience, and an understanding that perfection is a myth, you can not only survive but thrive in these crazy years. It's OK to not enjoy every single second of parenting. As we say around here, just because you love your kids doesn't always mean you have to like them!\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eParenting young children is the magical time where your house looks like a toy bomb exploded and you find yourself asking, \"Is that chocolate or...?\" more often than you'd like to admit. But let's face it, amidst the laughter and the \"aww\" moments, parenting can sometimes feel like trying to stuff a wild octopus into a shopping bag — utterly stressful! Fear not, brave parents, for here are some tried-and-tested tips to manage your stress levels.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmbrace the Chaos — It's Your New Normal\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFirst things first, let go of the dream that your home will look like a page from a lifestyle magazine. Accept the Legos on the floor and the mystery stains on your couch as part of your décor. Congratulations, you now have a \"cozy lived-in\" house!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Me Time\" is Not a Myth — Find It\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRemember those days when you could read a book, enjoy a hot cup of coffee, or even go to the bathroom alone? They can still exist! Sneak in a quick shower while the kids are napping or entrust them to your partner or a family member for an hour of uninterrupted peace. You might come back to a house that resembles a scene from a superhero movie, but hey, at least you'll be relaxed!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLaughter is the Best Medicine\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKids are naturally hilarious. Instead of getting frustrated at their antics, join in! Wear the pasta necklace with pride, laugh at their nonsensical jokes, and dance in the living room. It’s therapeutic and makes for great stories later.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Art of Distraction — For You and Them\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKids have the attention span of a goldfish. Use it to your advantage! Swap a tantrum for a puppet show or a messy snack time for a surprise bath with extra bubbles. As for you, find a hobby or activity that can momentarily distract you from the chaos. Gardening, painting, or even a good old scream into a pillow can work wonders.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eExercise — Or What We Call \"Chase the Toddler\"\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWho needs a gym membership when you have kids? Playing tag, lifting them like weights (safely, of course), or simply trying to keep up with them is a workout in itself. Plus, it’s a great way to tire them out for bedtime — double win!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSocialize with Fellow Sufferers, er, Parents\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSometimes, all you need is to know that you're not alone in this wild ride. Connect with other parents, share war stories, and laugh over how you all haven’t slept properly in years. Misery loves company, but it also brings some great advice and support.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBedtime — The Holy Grail\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYes, it’s tempting to use the quiet hours after the kids are in bed to catch up on chores or work. But this is also the perfect time to relax. Watch that TV show (without animated characters, hooray!), read a book, or simply do nothing. Embrace the silence — it's golden.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLower Your Standards — Just a Bit\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfection is overrated (hello, this is the Imperfect Parent after all), and frankly, impossible with young kids. So, the cake you baked looks like a disaster? If it's edible, it's a success. Clothes mismatched? Call it a new fashion trend. Lowering the bar a little can significantly reduce stress.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRemember, This Too Shall Pass\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOn days when everything seems to be falling apart, remind yourself that this phase won’t last forever. One day, you’ll miss these chaotic, messy, loud, but utterly beautiful moments. Well, maybe not the loud part.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eParenting young children is a rollercoaster of emotions, mess, and stress. But with a pinch of humor, a dash of patience, and an understanding that perfection is a myth, you can not only survive but thrive in these crazy years. It's OK to not enjoy every single second of parenting. 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Instead, parents can adopt gentle discipline strategies that focus on teaching and guiding children, fostering a healthy parent-child relationship built on trust, respect, and understanding. In this article, we'll explore effective methods for disciplining children without resorting to violence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCommunication is Key\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOpen and effective communication is the foundation of gentle discipline. Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively to their perspective and encourage them to voice their concerns and emotions. By doing so, you can better understand the reasons behind their behavior and address the underlying issues.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSet Clear Expectations\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEstablish clear and age-appropriate expectations for your child's behavior. When they understand the rules and boundaries, they are more likely to follow them. Be consistent with your expectations and consequences, ensuring that your child knows what to expect in different situations.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePositive Reinforcement\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePositive reinforcement involves acknowledging and rewarding good behavior. Praise and encouragement can go a long way in motivating children to make positive choices. Celebrate their achievements, both big and small, to boost their self-esteem and reinforce desirable behavior.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTime-In Instead of Time-Out\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRather than using time-outs as a punitive measure, consider using \"time-ins.\" This involves spending time with your child when they are struggling with their behavior. Use this opportunity to talk about their actions, feelings, and alternative ways to handle difficult situations. Time-ins strengthen your bond with your child and provide a chance for growth and learning.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNatural Consequences\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAllow children to experience the natural consequences of their actions whenever possible. For instance, if they refuse to wear a coat on a cold day, they may feel cold and learn the importance of dressing appropriately. Natural consequences help children connect their actions to the outcomes and develop problem-solving skills.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmpathy and Understanding\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShow empathy and understanding towards your child's feelings and experiences. Empathizing with their struggles helps build trust and a sense of security. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their feelings, even if you don't agree with their behavior.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTeach Problem-Solving Skills\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRather than imposing solutions, involve your child in the problem-solving process. Encourage them to brainstorm ideas and explore alternatives. This empowers them to make responsible decisions and learn from their mistakes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBe a Positive Role Model\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren often learn by observing their parents' behavior. Model the values and behaviors you want to instill in your child. Demonstrating patience, respect, and self-control sets a powerful example for them to follow.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTime for Reflection\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter a challenging situation, take some time to reflect with your child. Discuss what happened, how it made both of you feel, and what could be done differently in the future. This reflection process helps children learn from their experiences and make better choices.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeek Support and Resources\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eParenting can be challenging, and there's no shame in seeking support or resources when needed. Consider joining parenting groups or consulting with a child psychologist or counselor who specializes in child behavior and discipline.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGentle discipline is about fostering a positive parent-child relationship, guiding children toward responsible behavior, and teaching them valuable life skills. It's essential to remember that children make mistakes and learn from them. By using communication, empathy, positive reinforcement, and problem-solving, parents can discipline their children effectively without resorting to violence. The result is a loving and nurturing environment where children can thrive and develop into responsible, empathetic, and well-adjusted individuals.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eDisciplining children is an essential part of parenting, but resorting to violence or harsh punishment is not the solution. Instead, parents can adopt gentle discipline strategies that focus on teaching and guiding children, fostering a healthy parent-child relationship built on trust, respect, and understanding. In this article, we'll explore effective methods for disciplining children without resorting to violence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCommunication is Key\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOpen and effective communication is the foundation of gentle discipline. Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively to their perspective and encourage them to voice their concerns and emotions. By doing so, you can better understand the reasons behind their behavior and address the underlying issues.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSet Clear Expectations\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEstablish clear and age-appropriate expectations for your child's behavior. When they understand the rules and boundaries, they are more likely to follow them. Be consistent with your expectations and consequences, ensuring that your child knows what to expect in different situations.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePositive Reinforcement\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePositive reinforcement involves acknowledging and rewarding good behavior. Praise and encouragement can go a long way in motivating children to make positive choices. Celebrate their achievements, both big and small, to boost their self-esteem and reinforce desirable behavior.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTime-In Instead of Time-Out\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRather than using time-outs as a punitive measure, consider using \"time-ins.\" This involves spending time with your child when they are struggling with their behavior. Use this opportunity to talk about their actions, feelings, and alternative ways to handle difficult situations. Time-ins strengthen your bond with your child and provide a chance for growth and learning.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNatural Consequences\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAllow children to experience the natural consequences of their actions whenever possible. For instance, if they refuse to wear a coat on a cold day, they may feel cold and learn the importance of dressing appropriately. Natural consequences help children connect their actions to the outcomes and develop problem-solving skills.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmpathy and Understanding\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShow empathy and understanding towards your child's feelings and experiences. Empathizing with their struggles helps build trust and a sense of security. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their feelings, even if you don't agree with their behavior.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTeach Problem-Solving Skills\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRather than imposing solutions, involve your child in the problem-solving process. Encourage them to brainstorm ideas and explore alternatives. This empowers them to make responsible decisions and learn from their mistakes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBe a Positive Role Model\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren often learn by observing their parents' behavior. Model the values and behaviors you want to instill in your child. Demonstrating patience, respect, and self-control sets a powerful example for them to follow.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTime for Reflection\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter a challenging situation, take some time to reflect with your child. Discuss what happened, how it made both of you feel, and what could be done differently in the future. This reflection process helps children learn from their experiences and make better choices.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeek Support and Resources\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eParenting can be challenging, and there's no shame in seeking support or resources when needed. Consider joining parenting groups or consulting with a child psychologist or counselor who specializes in child behavior and discipline.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGentle discipline is about fostering a positive parent-child relationship, guiding children toward responsible behavior, and teaching them valuable life skills. It's essential to remember that children make mistakes and learn from them. By using communication, empathy, positive reinforcement, and problem-solving, parents can discipline their children effectively without resorting to violence. The result is a loving and nurturing environment where children can thrive and develop into responsible, empathetic, and well-adjusted individuals.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/6b6fa9ee-ccec-4f27-9139-eeb9f8cb2456?resourceVersion=id%3A72"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"65ab76e2-d110-4452-9485-fd21799c6da6","drupal_internal__fid":44,"langcode":"en","filename":"childdiscipline.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-11/childdiscipline.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-11/childdiscipline.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":62362,"status":true,"created":"2023-11-23T19:44:00+00:00","changed":"2023-11-23T19:44:53+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-11/childdiscipline.jpg?itok=I-HKU7MA","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-11/childdiscipline.jpg?itok=mhcpZgEr","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/65ab76e2-d110-4452-9485-fd21799c6da6"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Father correcting child","title":"","width":1280,"height":853,"drupal_internal__target_id":44},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"9b5de353-8793-454c-913e-2d8f9f38dc36","title":"Raising an LGBTQ+ child: A guide for supportive parents","created":"2023-11-23T18:10:06+00:00","path":{"alias":"/raising-lgbtq-child-guide-supportive-parents","pid":58,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eParenting is a journey filled with love, challenges, and the opportunity to nurture a happy and healthy child. When your child comes out as LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, or any other non-heteronormative identity), it can be a significant moment for both of you. As a parent, your love and support are paramount in helping your child navigate their unique path. Here, we offer advice to parents raising LGBTQ+ children to ensure they feel loved, accepted, and empowered.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEducate Yourself\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne of the most important steps in supporting your LGBTQ+ child is educating yourself about their identity and experiences. Read books, watch documentaries, attend workshops, and engage with LGBTQ+ organizations to gain a deeper understanding. Familiarize yourself with terminology and concepts such as gender identity, sexual orientation, and pronouns. This knowledge will help you communicate with your child and offer meaningful support.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eListen Actively and Without Judgment\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen your child comes out to you, the most critical thing you can do is listen. Create a safe and non-judgmental space where they can express themselves openly. Understand that their journey may be different from your own, and their experiences are valid. Ask questions, but be mindful not to be intrusive. Show empathy and let them know that you are there for them.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUse Inclusive Language\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRespect your child's preferred name and pronouns. Using the correct name and pronouns is a fundamental way to show your support and acceptance. If you make a mistake, apologize and correct yourself. It may take time to adjust, but your efforts demonstrate your commitment to their well-being.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConnect with LGBTQ+ Communities\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEncourage your child to connect with LGBTQ+ communities and support groups, both online and in person. These spaces can provide them with a sense of belonging and the opportunity to share experiences with peers who understand their journey. As a parent, you can also benefit from connecting with other parents who have LGBTQ+ children to share experiences and advice.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBe Prepared for Challenges\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's important to recognize that your child may face challenges, such as discrimination, bullying, or rejection from others. Be prepared to offer emotional support and guidance when these issues arise. Encourage them to report any instances of discrimination or bullying and take appropriate action to address the situation.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdvocate for Inclusive Education\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSupport inclusive education in your child's school. Advocate for policies that protect LGBTQ+ students and ensure they have access to resources and support. Be proactive in addressing any instances of discrimination or bullying within the school community.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCelebrate Their Achievements\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCelebrate your child's achievements and milestones, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Encourage their passions and interests and let them know that you are proud of who they are becoming. Your support and positivity can boost their self-esteem and confidence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeek Professional Help if Needed\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf your child is experiencing mental health issues, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor with experience in LGBTQ+ issues. Mental health support can be crucial for your child's well-being, and it's essential to provide them with the necessary resources.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRaising an LGBTQ+ child is a journey that requires love, acceptance, and education. Your role as a parent is to provide a safe and supportive environment where your child can thrive and be their authentic self. Remember that your love and understanding can make a significant difference in their life, helping them embrace their identity with confidence and pride. Educate yourself, listen actively, and advocate for inclusivity to ensure that your child's journey is filled with love and acceptance.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eParenting is a journey filled with love, challenges, and the opportunity to nurture a happy and healthy child. When your child comes out as LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, or any other non-heteronormative identity), it can be a significant moment for both of you. As a parent, your love and support are paramount in helping your child navigate their unique path. Here, we offer advice to parents raising LGBTQ+ children to ensure they feel loved, accepted, and empowered.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEducate Yourself\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne of the most important steps in supporting your LGBTQ+ child is educating yourself about their identity and experiences. Read books, watch documentaries, attend workshops, and engage with LGBTQ+ organizations to gain a deeper understanding. Familiarize yourself with terminology and concepts such as gender identity, sexual orientation, and pronouns. This knowledge will help you communicate with your child and offer meaningful support.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eListen Actively and Without Judgment\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen your child comes out to you, the most critical thing you can do is listen. Create a safe and non-judgmental space where they can express themselves openly. Understand that their journey may be different from your own, and their experiences are valid. Ask questions, but be mindful not to be intrusive. Show empathy and let them know that you are there for them.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUse Inclusive Language\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRespect your child's preferred name and pronouns. Using the correct name and pronouns is a fundamental way to show your support and acceptance. If you make a mistake, apologize and correct yourself. It may take time to adjust, but your efforts demonstrate your commitment to their well-being.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConnect with LGBTQ+ Communities\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEncourage your child to connect with LGBTQ+ communities and support groups, both online and in person. These spaces can provide them with a sense of belonging and the opportunity to share experiences with peers who understand their journey. As a parent, you can also benefit from connecting with other parents who have LGBTQ+ children to share experiences and advice.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBe Prepared for Challenges\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's important to recognize that your child may face challenges, such as discrimination, bullying, or rejection from others. Be prepared to offer emotional support and guidance when these issues arise. Encourage them to report any instances of discrimination or bullying and take appropriate action to address the situation.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdvocate for Inclusive Education\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSupport inclusive education in your child's school. Advocate for policies that protect LGBTQ+ students and ensure they have access to resources and support. Be proactive in addressing any instances of discrimination or bullying within the school community.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCelebrate Their Achievements\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCelebrate your child's achievements and milestones, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Encourage their passions and interests and let them know that you are proud of who they are becoming. Your support and positivity can boost their self-esteem and confidence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeek Professional Help if Needed\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf your child is experiencing mental health issues, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor with experience in LGBTQ+ issues. Mental health support can be crucial for your child's well-being, and it's essential to provide them with the necessary resources.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRaising an LGBTQ+ child is a journey that requires love, acceptance, and education. Your role as a parent is to provide a safe and supportive environment where your child can thrive and be their authentic self. Remember that your love and understanding can make a significant difference in their life, helping them embrace their identity with confidence and pride. Educate yourself, listen actively, and advocate for inclusivity to ensure that your child's journey is filled with love and acceptance.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/9b5de353-8793-454c-913e-2d8f9f38dc36?resourceVersion=id%3A71"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"ebed7727-fb5d-4427-95a4-cf24d3795079","drupal_internal__fid":43,"langcode":"en","filename":"lgbtqyouth.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-11/lgbtqyouth.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-11/lgbtqyouth.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":100715,"status":true,"created":"2023-11-23T18:11:57+00:00","changed":"2023-11-23T18:13:02+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-11/lgbtqyouth.jpg?itok=PARPqkMi","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-11/lgbtqyouth.jpg?itok=h-vgfR0a","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/ebed7727-fb5d-4427-95a4-cf24d3795079"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Teen wearing LOVE hoodie","title":"","width":1000,"height":667,"drupal_internal__target_id":43},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"18ff94b1-49e5-4993-9b2f-78ff82ad71fe","title":"Striking the right balance: Managing screen time for children","created":"2023-09-27T20:31:46+00:00","path":{"alias":"/striking-right-balance-managing-screen-time-children","pid":43,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eIn today’s technologically driven society, screens are ubiquitous, providing endless opportunities for learning and entertainment. However, parents often find themselves grappling with finding the right balance for their children’s screen time. How can parents ensure that screen time is enriching and not overwhelming? Here are several strategies to create a healthy balance.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Set Clear Boundaries\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEstablish clear and consistent limits on screen time based on your child's age, health, and specific needs. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor children under 18 months,\u003c/strong\u003e avoid the use of screen media other than video chatting.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor children aged 18 to 24 months,\u003c/strong\u003e parents should choose high-quality programming/apps and use media together with the child to help them understand what they're seeing.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor children aged 2 to 5 years,\u003c/strong\u003e limit screen use to 1 hour per day of high-quality programming.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor children aged 6 years and older,\u003c/strong\u003e establish consistent limits on screen time, ensuring sufficient time for sleep, physical activity, and other behaviors essential to health.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Prioritize Educational Content\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOpt for educational apps, games, and TV shows that promote learning and creativity. Resources like \u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsense.org/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eCommon Sense Media\u003c/a\u003e can help you find age-appropriate, high-quality content.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Encourage Physical Activity\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEncourage your children to play outdoors and engage in physical activities. Establishing a routine where screen time is balanced with outdoor play can aid in the child’s physical and mental development.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Designate Screen-Free Zones and Times\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHaving certain areas or times in the house where screens are not allowed, such as during meals and in bedrooms, can encourage more face-to-face interaction and better sleep.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5. Be a Role Model\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren are more likely to follow screen time guidelines if they see their parents setting a good example. Model balanced screen use by putting away your devices during family time and demonstrating mindful screen use.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e6. Engage in Co-Viewing or Co-Playing\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eParticipate in screen time with your child when possible. This provides an opportunity to discuss the content and share thoughts and experiences, enhancing the learning experience.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7. Implement a Screen Time Schedule\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCreate a daily schedule allocating specific time slots for screen use, balancing it with other activities like homework, reading, playing, and family time. This can help in establishing a routine and avoid overdependence on screens.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e8. Promote Other Forms of Entertainment\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEncourage your child to read books, paint, draw, or engage in other forms of entertainment that do not involve screens. This can help in developing varied interests and skills.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9. Discuss Online Safety\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEducate your children about the importance of online safety, privacy, and the potential risks involved with excessive internet use. Keep open lines of communication about their online experiences.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e10. Encourage Mindfulness and Reflection\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTeach children to be mindful of the time they spend on screens and reflect on whether it’s adding value to their lives. Encourage them to make conscious decisions about their screen time usage based on their reflections.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBalancing screen time is crucial for the holistic development of children. It requires clear guidelines, conscious effort, and consistent enforcement from parents. By setting clear boundaries, promoting educational content, encouraging a variety of activities, and modeling balanced screen use, parents can ensure that their children have a healthy relationship with technology, deriving maximum benefit while minimizing the risks. By striking the right balance, we can harness the positives of the digital world while fostering essential life skills and values in our children.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eIn today’s technologically driven society, screens are ubiquitous, providing endless opportunities for learning and entertainment. However, parents often find themselves grappling with finding the right balance for their children’s screen time. How can parents ensure that screen time is enriching and not overwhelming? Here are several strategies to create a healthy balance.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Set Clear Boundaries\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEstablish clear and consistent limits on screen time based on your child's age, health, and specific needs. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor children under 18 months,\u003c/strong\u003e avoid the use of screen media other than video chatting.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor children aged 18 to 24 months,\u003c/strong\u003e parents should choose high-quality programming/apps and use media together with the child to help them understand what they're seeing.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor children aged 2 to 5 years,\u003c/strong\u003e limit screen use to 1 hour per day of high-quality programming.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor children aged 6 years and older,\u003c/strong\u003e establish consistent limits on screen time, ensuring sufficient time for sleep, physical activity, and other behaviors essential to health.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Prioritize Educational Content\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOpt for educational apps, games, and TV shows that promote learning and creativity. Resources like \u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsense.org/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eCommon Sense Media\u003c/a\u003e can help you find age-appropriate, high-quality content.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Encourage Physical Activity\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEncourage your children to play outdoors and engage in physical activities. Establishing a routine where screen time is balanced with outdoor play can aid in the child’s physical and mental development.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Designate Screen-Free Zones and Times\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHaving certain areas or times in the house where screens are not allowed, such as during meals and in bedrooms, can encourage more face-to-face interaction and better sleep.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5. Be a Role Model\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren are more likely to follow screen time guidelines if they see their parents setting a good example. Model balanced screen use by putting away your devices during family time and demonstrating mindful screen use.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e6. Engage in Co-Viewing or Co-Playing\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eParticipate in screen time with your child when possible. This provides an opportunity to discuss the content and share thoughts and experiences, enhancing the learning experience.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7. Implement a Screen Time Schedule\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCreate a daily schedule allocating specific time slots for screen use, balancing it with other activities like homework, reading, playing, and family time. This can help in establishing a routine and avoid overdependence on screens.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e8. Promote Other Forms of Entertainment\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEncourage your child to read books, paint, draw, or engage in other forms of entertainment that do not involve screens. This can help in developing varied interests and skills.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9. Discuss Online Safety\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEducate your children about the importance of online safety, privacy, and the potential risks involved with excessive internet use. Keep open lines of communication about their online experiences.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e10. Encourage Mindfulness and Reflection\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTeach children to be mindful of the time they spend on screens and reflect on whether it’s adding value to their lives. Encourage them to make conscious decisions about their screen time usage based on their reflections.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBalancing screen time is crucial for the holistic development of children. It requires clear guidelines, conscious effort, and consistent enforcement from parents. By setting clear boundaries, promoting educational content, encouraging a variety of activities, and modeling balanced screen use, parents can ensure that their children have a healthy relationship with technology, deriving maximum benefit while minimizing the risks. By striking the right balance, we can harness the positives of the digital world while fostering essential life skills and values in our children.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/18ff94b1-49e5-4993-9b2f-78ff82ad71fe?resourceVersion=id%3A54"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"99f1509e-ecf0-4924-bc3d-600c39d91f48","drupal_internal__fid":31,"langcode":"en","filename":"childholdingtablet.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/childholdingtablet.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/childholdingtablet.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":3143355,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-27T20:38:07+00:00","changed":"2023-09-27T20:38:59+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/childholdingtablet.jpg?itok=_niKgUWD","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/childholdingtablet.jpg?itok=hKqo9Nu5","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/99f1509e-ecf0-4924-bc3d-600c39d91f48"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Child using a tablet PC","title":"","width":6720,"height":4480,"drupal_internal__target_id":31},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"f27f024c-4a5c-428a-b5cd-13e74d7cf323","title":"What age can my daughter start wearing makeup?","created":"2023-09-03T16:04:12+00:00","path":{"alias":"/what-age-can-my-daughter-start-wearing-makeup","pid":9,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eDeciding when to allow your daughter to start wearing makeup is a personal decision that varies from family to family. Factors such as cultural norms, individual maturity levels, and family values play a role in the decision-making process. Here are some points to consider:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCultural and Social Norms\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDifferent cultures and social circles have varied views on the appropriate age for makeup. Some societies or groups may see it as acceptable for younger teenagers or even pre-teens to start wearing makeup, while others may believe it's more appropriate for older teens.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eType of Makeup\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere's a difference between light makeup (like lip gloss or a bit of mascara) and a full face of makeup including foundation, eyeliner, and lipstick. You might consider allowing lighter makeup at a younger age and more extensive makeup as she gets older.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReasons for Wearing Makeup\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUnderstanding why your daughter wants to wear makeup can provide insight. Is it a form of self-expression? Is it due to peer pressure? Is it for special occasions or daily wear? Discussing her motivations can guide the decision and open up an avenue for conversation about self-image and confidence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaturity Level\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome kids might be ready to handle makeup at a younger age in terms of responsibility (not sharing makeup, removing it before bedtime, understanding hygiene), while others may need more time.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEducation\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBefore letting your daughter wear makeup, it's essential to educate her about proper application, the importance of good skincare, and the potential skin reactions to certain products. A dermatologist or skincare professional can offer guidance.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCompromise\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eConsider starting with a compromise. Perhaps she can wear makeup at home, for special occasions, or on weekends. This approach allows her to gradually become accustomed to makeup and provides an opportunity to practice application techniques.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSelf-Image and Confidence\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEnsure the desire to wear makeup is not solely tied to self-worth or confidence. It's essential for young girls to know that they are beautiful without makeup and that makeup is an enhancement, not a necessity.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSet Clear Boundaries\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf you decide to let your daughter wear makeup, set clear guidelines. This could relate to the type of makeup, when she can wear it, and where she can wear it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStay Open to Conversation\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaintain an open line of communication. As your daughter grows and matures, her views on makeup, and your views as well, might evolve. It's crucial to revisit the conversation periodically.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere's no universally right age for a girl to start wearing makeup. It's a personal decision that should be based on individual readiness, family values, and open communication. Whatever age you decide upon, ensure it's a decision made with understanding and mutual respect.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eDeciding when to allow your daughter to start wearing makeup is a personal decision that varies from family to family. Factors such as cultural norms, individual maturity levels, and family values play a role in the decision-making process. Here are some points to consider:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCultural and Social Norms\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDifferent cultures and social circles have varied views on the appropriate age for makeup. Some societies or groups may see it as acceptable for younger teenagers or even pre-teens to start wearing makeup, while others may believe it's more appropriate for older teens.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eType of Makeup\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere's a difference between light makeup (like lip gloss or a bit of mascara) and a full face of makeup including foundation, eyeliner, and lipstick. You might consider allowing lighter makeup at a younger age and more extensive makeup as she gets older.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReasons for Wearing Makeup\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUnderstanding why your daughter wants to wear makeup can provide insight. Is it a form of self-expression? Is it due to peer pressure? Is it for special occasions or daily wear? Discussing her motivations can guide the decision and open up an avenue for conversation about self-image and confidence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaturity Level\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome kids might be ready to handle makeup at a younger age in terms of responsibility (not sharing makeup, removing it before bedtime, understanding hygiene), while others may need more time.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEducation\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBefore letting your daughter wear makeup, it's essential to educate her about proper application, the importance of good skincare, and the potential skin reactions to certain products. A dermatologist or skincare professional can offer guidance.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCompromise\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eConsider starting with a compromise. Perhaps she can wear makeup at home, for special occasions, or on weekends. This approach allows her to gradually become accustomed to makeup and provides an opportunity to practice application techniques.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSelf-Image and Confidence\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEnsure the desire to wear makeup is not solely tied to self-worth or confidence. It's essential for young girls to know that they are beautiful without makeup and that makeup is an enhancement, not a necessity.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSet Clear Boundaries\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf you decide to let your daughter wear makeup, set clear guidelines. This could relate to the type of makeup, when she can wear it, and where she can wear it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStay Open to Conversation\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaintain an open line of communication. As your daughter grows and matures, her views on makeup, and your views as well, might evolve. It's crucial to revisit the conversation periodically.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere's no universally right age for a girl to start wearing makeup. It's a personal decision that should be based on individual readiness, family values, and open communication. Whatever age you decide upon, ensure it's a decision made with understanding and mutual respect.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/f27f024c-4a5c-428a-b5cd-13e74d7cf323?resourceVersion=id%3A25"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"3acb6fb1-0c43-4878-b400-a3650ec5720e","drupal_internal__fid":6,"langcode":"en","filename":"girl-with-makeup.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/girl-with-makeup.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/girl-with-makeup.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":378195,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-03T16:09:05+00:00","changed":"2023-09-03T16:15:49+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/girl-with-makeup.jpg?itok=tliSVaRy","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/girl-with-makeup.jpg?itok=0QrYb_di","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/3acb6fb1-0c43-4878-b400-a3650ec5720e"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Girl having makeup applied","title":"","width":1000,"height":667,"drupal_internal__target_id":6},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"ba3864f1-97ef-4c46-a41e-9d057a17df01","title":"Should drag events be allowed in public libraries?","created":"2023-09-03T15:43:37+00:00","path":{"alias":"/should-drag-events-be-allowed-public-libraries","pid":8,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eThe question of whether drag performers and drag queen story hours should be allowed in libraries is a topic of debate in many communities. The U.S. is a very culturally diverse society, and not everybody is going to agree on this issue for a number of complex reasons. Advocates argue that such events promote diversity, inclusion, and literacy, while opponents may have concerns based on cultural, religious, or other beliefs. Here's a breakdown of some key points in the discussion:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eArguments for having drag shows in libraries:\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Promotion of Diversity and Inclusion:\u003c/strong\u003e Libraries have long been spaces that promote diversity and understanding. Hosting drag shows can expose patrons to different cultures and lifestyles, fostering acceptance and understanding.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Literacy and Education:\u003c/strong\u003e Many drag events in libraries, particularly \"Drag Queen Story Hour\" programs for children, combine performance with reading. This can make literature more engaging and accessible for young readers.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Freedom of Expression:\u003c/strong\u003e Libraries, especially in democratic societies, often serve as community hubs that support freedom of speech and expression. Hosting a variety of events, including drag shows, aligns with this principle.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Community Building:\u003c/strong\u003e Such events can help marginalized groups, such as the LGBTQ+ community, feel more included and supported in local communities. They can also provide opportunities for community members to meet and understand people from different walks of life.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eArguments against having drag shows in libraries:\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Age Appropriateness:\u003c/strong\u003e Some believe that drag shows, especially those targeted towards children, may introduce topics or ideas that they deem not age-appropriate.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Religious or Cultural Beliefs:\u003c/strong\u003e Those with strong religious or cultural beliefs might feel that drag shows conflict with their values.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Use of Public Spaces:\u003c/strong\u003e Some argue that while drag shows can be hosted in private or specific community venues, public spaces funded by taxpayer money should not be used for events that might be controversial.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Safety Concerns:\u003c/strong\u003e Due to the divisive nature of the topic in some communities, there may be concerns about protests or potential disruptions.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOther things to consider:\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Community Input:\u003c/strong\u003e Libraries could seek community feedback before hosting potentially controversial events. This input can guide decisions and ensure the library meets the needs and preferences of the majority of its patrons.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Clear Communication:\u003c/strong\u003e If a library decides to host a drag show, clear communication about the event's purpose, intended audience, and content can help manage expectations and reduce misunderstandings.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Security Measures:\u003c/strong\u003e Ensuring the safety of attendees, performers, and library staff should be paramount. If there are concerns about protests or disruptions, libraries might consider additional security measures or protocols.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Alternative Venues:\u003c/strong\u003e If a library deems that it's not the right venue for a drag show, community organizers can consider alternative venues that might be more fitting or less controversial.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe decision to invite drag performers into public libraries hinges on local community values, the mission of the library, and the needs of its patrons. Like all decisions in public spaces, it's a balance between promoting freedom of expression, supporting diverse voices, and considering the broader community's preferences and concerns.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eThe question of whether drag performers and drag queen story hours should be allowed in libraries is a topic of debate in many communities. The U.S. is a very culturally diverse society, and not everybody is going to agree on this issue for a number of complex reasons. Advocates argue that such events promote diversity, inclusion, and literacy, while opponents may have concerns based on cultural, religious, or other beliefs. Here's a breakdown of some key points in the discussion:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eArguments for having drag shows in libraries:\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Promotion of Diversity and Inclusion:\u003c/strong\u003e Libraries have long been spaces that promote diversity and understanding. Hosting drag shows can expose patrons to different cultures and lifestyles, fostering acceptance and understanding.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Literacy and Education:\u003c/strong\u003e Many drag events in libraries, particularly \"Drag Queen Story Hour\" programs for children, combine performance with reading. This can make literature more engaging and accessible for young readers.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Freedom of Expression:\u003c/strong\u003e Libraries, especially in democratic societies, often serve as community hubs that support freedom of speech and expression. Hosting a variety of events, including drag shows, aligns with this principle.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Community Building:\u003c/strong\u003e Such events can help marginalized groups, such as the LGBTQ+ community, feel more included and supported in local communities. They can also provide opportunities for community members to meet and understand people from different walks of life.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eArguments against having drag shows in libraries:\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Age Appropriateness:\u003c/strong\u003e Some believe that drag shows, especially those targeted towards children, may introduce topics or ideas that they deem not age-appropriate.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Religious or Cultural Beliefs:\u003c/strong\u003e Those with strong religious or cultural beliefs might feel that drag shows conflict with their values.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Use of Public Spaces:\u003c/strong\u003e Some argue that while drag shows can be hosted in private or specific community venues, public spaces funded by taxpayer money should not be used for events that might be controversial.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Safety Concerns:\u003c/strong\u003e Due to the divisive nature of the topic in some communities, there may be concerns about protests or potential disruptions.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOther things to consider:\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Community Input:\u003c/strong\u003e Libraries could seek community feedback before hosting potentially controversial events. This input can guide decisions and ensure the library meets the needs and preferences of the majority of its patrons.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Clear Communication:\u003c/strong\u003e If a library decides to host a drag show, clear communication about the event's purpose, intended audience, and content can help manage expectations and reduce misunderstandings.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Security Measures:\u003c/strong\u003e Ensuring the safety of attendees, performers, and library staff should be paramount. If there are concerns about protests or disruptions, libraries might consider additional security measures or protocols.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Alternative Venues:\u003c/strong\u003e If a library deems that it's not the right venue for a drag show, community organizers can consider alternative venues that might be more fitting or less controversial.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe decision to invite drag performers into public libraries hinges on local community values, the mission of the library, and the needs of its patrons. Like all decisions in public spaces, it's a balance between promoting freedom of expression, supporting diverse voices, and considering the broader community's preferences and concerns.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/ba3864f1-97ef-4c46-a41e-9d057a17df01?resourceVersion=id%3A24"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"35776948-0571-473e-b405-3009e7513439","drupal_internal__fid":5,"langcode":"en","filename":"drag-wig.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/drag-wig.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/drag-wig.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":382634,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-03T15:58:47+00:00","changed":"2023-09-03T15:59:03+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/drag-wig.jpg?itok=gBxwWdzj","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/drag-wig.jpg?itok=YbxKzm8i","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/35776948-0571-473e-b405-3009e7513439"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Pink wig on dressing table","title":"","width":1000,"height":667,"drupal_internal__target_id":5},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"656de79e-45f5-4eaf-a117-d1c8846958d0","title":"How should I talk to my children about climate change?","created":"2023-09-03T15:17:56+00:00","path":{"alias":"/talking-kids-about-climate-change","pid":7,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eClimate change is one of the most pressing challenges facing our planet today. As evidence of its effects becomes more evident, it’s natural for children to have questions or concerns. Discussing such a complex topic with younger generations requires sensitivity, clarity, and optimism. Here's how to guide that conversation:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Choose Age-Appropriate Information\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eYoung Children (ages 3-6):\u003c/strong\u003e Introduce the concept by talking about nature. Use simple language like \"We need to take care of our Earth so the plants, animals, and people can be healthy.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eSchool-aged Children (ages 7-12):\u003c/strong\u003e Discuss basic facts about the environment, such as why trees are essential or how to save water. Introduce the idea that the Earth is getting warmer and it's affecting animals and weather patterns.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eTeenagers:\u003c/strong\u003e Offer more detailed explanations, delving into the science behind climate change, human contributions, and its broader implications on ecosystems.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Use Visuals\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren tend to understand better when they can see what you're talking about. Use maps, diagrams, and videos to show climate patterns, ice melting, or affected animals. Many educational websites provide interactive resources.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Address Their Feelings\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren may feel fear, sadness, or anxiety when learning about climate change. Validate their emotions, emphasizing that it's natural to feel concerned about something so important.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Highlight Positive Actions\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInstead of focusing solely on the dire consequences, shed light on the positive actions being taken worldwide. Talk about renewable energy, reforestation projects, and conservation efforts. Explain how individuals, communities, and countries are making changes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5. Involve Them in Solutions\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEmpower children by involving them in actionable solutions:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eConserve Energy:\u003c/strong\u003e Turn off lights, use energy-saving bulbs, and unplug electronics when not in use.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eReduce, Reuse, Recycle:\u003c/strong\u003e Emphasize the importance of minimizing waste.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eChoose Sustainable Transportation:\u003c/strong\u003e Walk, bike, or carpool when possible.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eNature Activities:\u003c/strong\u003e Plant a tree, start a garden, or join local clean-up efforts.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e6. Learn Together\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMake it a family activity to learn more about climate change. Watch documentaries, read books, or attend workshops together.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7. Promote Critical Thinking\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEncourage your kids to think critically about information sources. With a topic as politicized as climate change, it's crucial they understand the difference between scientific consensus and opinion.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e8. Set an Example\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour actions will speak louder than words. Lead by example by adopting sustainable practices in daily life. This not only reinforces the importance of the issue but also offers a practical roadmap for your kids to follow.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9. Stay Updated\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eClimate science is continually evolving. Stay updated with the latest research and findings. This ensures you're providing accurate information and can address new questions or concerns.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e10. Encourage Advocacy\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor older children, particularly teenagers, you might introduce the idea of advocacy. They can join school eco-clubs, participate in local environmental initiatives, or even engage in peaceful climate change protests.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhile climate change is a challenging topic, it offers an opportunity to teach our children about responsibility, the interconnectedness of life, and the power of collective action. By providing a balanced, informed, and hopeful perspective, we can empower the next generation to be conscientious stewards of our planet.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eClimate change is one of the most pressing challenges facing our planet today. As evidence of its effects becomes more evident, it’s natural for children to have questions or concerns. Discussing such a complex topic with younger generations requires sensitivity, clarity, and optimism. Here's how to guide that conversation:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e1. Choose Age-Appropriate Information\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eYoung Children (ages 3-6):\u003c/strong\u003e Introduce the concept by talking about nature. Use simple language like \"We need to take care of our Earth so the plants, animals, and people can be healthy.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eSchool-aged Children (ages 7-12):\u003c/strong\u003e Discuss basic facts about the environment, such as why trees are essential or how to save water. Introduce the idea that the Earth is getting warmer and it's affecting animals and weather patterns.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eTeenagers:\u003c/strong\u003e Offer more detailed explanations, delving into the science behind climate change, human contributions, and its broader implications on ecosystems.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2. Use Visuals\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren tend to understand better when they can see what you're talking about. Use maps, diagrams, and videos to show climate patterns, ice melting, or affected animals. Many educational websites provide interactive resources.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3. Address Their Feelings\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren may feel fear, sadness, or anxiety when learning about climate change. Validate their emotions, emphasizing that it's natural to feel concerned about something so important.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4. Highlight Positive Actions\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInstead of focusing solely on the dire consequences, shed light on the positive actions being taken worldwide. Talk about renewable energy, reforestation projects, and conservation efforts. Explain how individuals, communities, and countries are making changes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5. Involve Them in Solutions\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEmpower children by involving them in actionable solutions:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eConserve Energy:\u003c/strong\u003e Turn off lights, use energy-saving bulbs, and unplug electronics when not in use.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eReduce, Reuse, Recycle:\u003c/strong\u003e Emphasize the importance of minimizing waste.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eChoose Sustainable Transportation:\u003c/strong\u003e Walk, bike, or carpool when possible.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eNature Activities:\u003c/strong\u003e Plant a tree, start a garden, or join local clean-up efforts.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e6. Learn Together\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMake it a family activity to learn more about climate change. Watch documentaries, read books, or attend workshops together.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7. Promote Critical Thinking\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEncourage your kids to think critically about information sources. With a topic as politicized as climate change, it's crucial they understand the difference between scientific consensus and opinion.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e8. Set an Example\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour actions will speak louder than words. Lead by example by adopting sustainable practices in daily life. This not only reinforces the importance of the issue but also offers a practical roadmap for your kids to follow.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9. Stay Updated\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eClimate science is continually evolving. Stay updated with the latest research and findings. This ensures you're providing accurate information and can address new questions or concerns.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e10. Encourage Advocacy\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor older children, particularly teenagers, you might introduce the idea of advocacy. They can join school eco-clubs, participate in local environmental initiatives, or even engage in peaceful climate change protests.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhile climate change is a challenging topic, it offers an opportunity to teach our children about responsibility, the interconnectedness of life, and the power of collective action. By providing a balanced, informed, and hopeful perspective, we can empower the next generation to be conscientious stewards of our planet.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/656de79e-45f5-4eaf-a117-d1c8846958d0?resourceVersion=id%3A23"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"72856cf5-ef8e-497d-a1b2-d7fd7192ae3f","drupal_internal__fid":4,"langcode":"en","filename":"climate-change.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/climate-change.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/climate-change.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":494069,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-03T15:29:45+00:00","changed":"2023-09-03T15:30:24+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/climate-change.jpg?itok=ZeZKmjgj","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/climate-change.jpg?itok=1upHDexb","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/72856cf5-ef8e-497d-a1b2-d7fd7192ae3f"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Climate change protest sign","title":"","width":1000,"height":667,"drupal_internal__target_id":4},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"d936e45b-eb91-40e9-88b7-90e338224f2c","title":"Pierced ears for babies: cute or trashy?","created":"2023-09-02T20:28:08+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/piercing-babys-ears-cute-mean-or-trashy","pid":25,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eWhen it comes to making decisions for our children, parents often face dilemmas. One of the discussions that has persisted for years revolves around piercing a baby's ears. Many parents find it endearing, while others consider it unnecessary. So, is it cute or trashy? Let’s break it down.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCultural Context Matters\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTradition \u0026amp; Identity:\u003c/strong\u003e In numerous cultures around the world, piercing a baby's ears is a rite of passage. It’s not merely about fashion or aesthetics; it signifies cultural identity and familial tradition. For many parents, it’s a continuation of a practice that their ancestors have been doing for generations.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChanging Western Perceptions:\u003c/strong\u003e In many Western cultures, baby ear-piercing was once viewed with skepticism, often being labeled as \"trashy\" or \"unnecessary.\" However, as the world has become more globalized, the acceptance of various cultural practices has grown, shifting the narrative surrounding this issue.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConcerns about Health and Consent\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHealth \u0026amp; Safety:\u003c/strong\u003e One of the major concerns with ear-piercing is the potential risk of infection. However, when performed by a professional and with proper aftercare, these risks can be minimized. Still, it's essential to ensure that the piercing is done under hygienic conditions using hypoallergenic materials.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConsent Issues:\u003c/strong\u003e The question of consent is a critical point of contention. Some argue that since babies cannot provide consent, it's wrong to alter their bodies in any permanent or semi-permanent way. On the other hand, parents make numerous decisions for their children before they can give informed consent, from vaccinations to religious ceremonies. Where does one draw the line?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAesthetic Considerations\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA Symbol of Femininity?:\u003c/strong\u003e Historically, ear-piercing, especially in Western cultures, has been associated with femininity. This has sometimes led to the reinforcement of gender norms. However, this is changing, as more boys and men are also getting their ears pierced, breaking gender barriers.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCuteness Factor:\u003c/strong\u003e There's no denying that tiny earrings on a baby can look adorable to many. Yet, cuteness is subjective. What one parent finds charming, another might find excessive.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt's a Personal Choice\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe decision to pierce a baby's ears is deeply personal. Factors like cultural background, family traditions, health and safety, and personal aesthetics all play a role.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTo label the act as universally \"cute\" or \"trashy\" oversimplifies a complex issue. For parents considering this choice, it's crucial to weigh the pros and cons, understand the motivations behind the decision, and prioritize the child's well-being above all.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn the end, what's essential is not the earrings, but the love and care parents provide to their children. Whether pierced or not, every child is unique and beautiful in their own right.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eWhen it comes to making decisions for our children, parents often face dilemmas. One of the discussions that has persisted for years revolves around piercing a baby's ears. Many parents find it endearing, while others consider it unnecessary. So, is it cute or trashy? Let’s break it down.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCultural Context Matters\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTradition \u0026amp; Identity:\u003c/strong\u003e In numerous cultures around the world, piercing a baby's ears is a rite of passage. It’s not merely about fashion or aesthetics; it signifies cultural identity and familial tradition. For many parents, it’s a continuation of a practice that their ancestors have been doing for generations.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChanging Western Perceptions:\u003c/strong\u003e In many Western cultures, baby ear-piercing was once viewed with skepticism, often being labeled as \"trashy\" or \"unnecessary.\" However, as the world has become more globalized, the acceptance of various cultural practices has grown, shifting the narrative surrounding this issue.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConcerns about Health and Consent\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHealth \u0026amp; Safety:\u003c/strong\u003e One of the major concerns with ear-piercing is the potential risk of infection. However, when performed by a professional and with proper aftercare, these risks can be minimized. Still, it's essential to ensure that the piercing is done under hygienic conditions using hypoallergenic materials.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConsent Issues:\u003c/strong\u003e The question of consent is a critical point of contention. Some argue that since babies cannot provide consent, it's wrong to alter their bodies in any permanent or semi-permanent way. On the other hand, parents make numerous decisions for their children before they can give informed consent, from vaccinations to religious ceremonies. Where does one draw the line?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAesthetic Considerations\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA Symbol of Femininity?:\u003c/strong\u003e Historically, ear-piercing, especially in Western cultures, has been associated with femininity. This has sometimes led to the reinforcement of gender norms. However, this is changing, as more boys and men are also getting their ears pierced, breaking gender barriers.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCuteness Factor:\u003c/strong\u003e There's no denying that tiny earrings on a baby can look adorable to many. Yet, cuteness is subjective. What one parent finds charming, another might find excessive.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt's a Personal Choice\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe decision to pierce a baby's ears is deeply personal. Factors like cultural background, family traditions, health and safety, and personal aesthetics all play a role.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTo label the act as universally \"cute\" or \"trashy\" oversimplifies a complex issue. For parents considering this choice, it's crucial to weigh the pros and cons, understand the motivations behind the decision, and prioritize the child's well-being above all.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn the end, what's essential is not the earrings, but the love and care parents provide to their children. Whether pierced or not, every child is unique and beautiful in their own right.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/d936e45b-eb91-40e9-88b7-90e338224f2c?resourceVersion=id%3A33"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"3099046c-ba5e-4e9f-846c-46b9f41a3920","drupal_internal__fid":17,"langcode":"en","filename":"babyearring.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/babyearring.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/babyearring.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":67545,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-06T21:20:26+00:00","changed":"2023-09-06T21:20:36+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/babyearring.jpg?itok=aDwwvZKz","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/babyearring.jpg?itok=DolqKV_M","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/3099046c-ba5e-4e9f-846c-46b9f41a3920"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Baby with pierced ears","title":"","width":800,"height":531,"drupal_internal__target_id":17},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"2b31b4b2-3612-4afb-91c9-ae56bb780231","title":"How to talk to your kids about Donald Trump's arrest","created":"2023-08-27T15:27:10+00:00","path":{"alias":"/how-talk-your-kids-about-donald-trumps-arrest","pid":4,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eDonald Trump, the 45th President of the United States, has certainly been a polarizing figure in politics. His tenure has been marked by \u003ca href=\"https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/03/politics/cnn-poll-republicans-think-2020-election-illegitimate/index.html\"\u003efervent support\u003c/a\u003e from some quarters and staunch criticism from others. As of \u003ca href=\"https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-arrest-fulton-county-booked-rcna101641\"\u003erecent events\u003c/a\u003e, discussions about Trump have taken a new turn with his arrest. Given the gravity of such events, parents might find themselves faced with the task of explaining the situation to their children. Here's a guide on how to handle this delicate topic with your kids.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStart with the Basics\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStart by explaining the fundamental principles of the justice system in a democracy:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003eEvery individual, regardless of their position or power, is subject to the law.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eEveryone is innocent until proven guilty.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThe legal system is designed to investigate and adjudicate matters impartially.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFoster an Open Dialogue\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's essential to foster an environment where your child feels comfortable asking questions or expressing their opinions. Remember, they're trying to understand a complex situation, and they might have heard various perspectives from peers or media.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStay Neutral\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhile it's natural to have your views about the situation, it's essential to present facts without letting personal biases cloud the discussion. Aim to be a source of balanced information, allowing your child to form their opinions.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAddress Their Emotions\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren might have strong feelings or fears based on what they've heard or seen. It's crucial to acknowledge these feelings and provide reassurance. If they're feeling scared or uncertain about what this means for the country, remind them of the resilience of the American system and its checks and balances.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUse Age-Appropriate Language\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe depth of your discussion should match your child's age and maturity level:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYounger Children (ages 5-8):\u003c/strong\u003e Stick to simple explanations. For instance, \"Donald Trump is going through a situation where people want to find out if he did something wrong. Everyone is allowed to see if they've made a mistake, and this is how our country does it.\"\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePre-teens (ages 9-12):\u003c/strong\u003e You can delve a bit deeper, discussing the importance of accountability in leadership positions. However, avoid overly complex legal details.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTeenagers (ages 13-18):\u003c/strong\u003e Engage in a more comprehensive conversation. Teenagers might already be aware of the details and have their opinions. Listen to their perspectives and introduce them to various viewpoints to foster critical thinking.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTalk About the Role of Media\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's a good opportunity to discuss media literacy. Emphasize the importance of discerning information from reliable sources and the existence of biases in news reporting.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmphasize the Importance of Respect\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRegardless of personal views on Trump or the situation, it's crucial to teach children to respect all individuals and the legal processes in place. Encourage discussions that are constructive rather than divisive.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFollow Up\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis shouldn't be a one-time conversation. As events unfold, regularly check in with your child to see how they're feeling, address any new questions they might have, and provide updates as necessary.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExplaining such a contentious and potentially divisive topic to children can be challenging. Yet, it's an opportunity to teach them about the principles of democracy, the importance of critical thinking, and the value of respectful discourse. Remember always to be there for them, offering clarity and guidance as they navigate this chapter of American history.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eDonald Trump, the 45th President of the United States, has certainly been a polarizing figure in politics. His tenure has been marked by \u003ca href=\"https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/03/politics/cnn-poll-republicans-think-2020-election-illegitimate/index.html\"\u003efervent support\u003c/a\u003e from some quarters and staunch criticism from others. As of \u003ca href=\"https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-arrest-fulton-county-booked-rcna101641\"\u003erecent events\u003c/a\u003e, discussions about Trump have taken a new turn with his arrest. Given the gravity of such events, parents might find themselves faced with the task of explaining the situation to their children. Here's a guide on how to handle this delicate topic with your kids.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStart with the Basics\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStart by explaining the fundamental principles of the justice system in a democracy:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003eEvery individual, regardless of their position or power, is subject to the law.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eEveryone is innocent until proven guilty.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThe legal system is designed to investigate and adjudicate matters impartially.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFoster an Open Dialogue\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's essential to foster an environment where your child feels comfortable asking questions or expressing their opinions. Remember, they're trying to understand a complex situation, and they might have heard various perspectives from peers or media.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStay Neutral\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhile it's natural to have your views about the situation, it's essential to present facts without letting personal biases cloud the discussion. Aim to be a source of balanced information, allowing your child to form their opinions.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAddress Their Emotions\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren might have strong feelings or fears based on what they've heard or seen. It's crucial to acknowledge these feelings and provide reassurance. If they're feeling scared or uncertain about what this means for the country, remind them of the resilience of the American system and its checks and balances.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUse Age-Appropriate Language\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe depth of your discussion should match your child's age and maturity level:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYounger Children (ages 5-8):\u003c/strong\u003e Stick to simple explanations. For instance, \"Donald Trump is going through a situation where people want to find out if he did something wrong. Everyone is allowed to see if they've made a mistake, and this is how our country does it.\"\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePre-teens (ages 9-12):\u003c/strong\u003e You can delve a bit deeper, discussing the importance of accountability in leadership positions. However, avoid overly complex legal details.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTeenagers (ages 13-18):\u003c/strong\u003e Engage in a more comprehensive conversation. Teenagers might already be aware of the details and have their opinions. Listen to their perspectives and introduce them to various viewpoints to foster critical thinking.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTalk About the Role of Media\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's a good opportunity to discuss media literacy. Emphasize the importance of discerning information from reliable sources and the existence of biases in news reporting.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmphasize the Importance of Respect\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRegardless of personal views on Trump or the situation, it's crucial to teach children to respect all individuals and the legal processes in place. Encourage discussions that are constructive rather than divisive.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFollow Up\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis shouldn't be a one-time conversation. As events unfold, regularly check in with your child to see how they're feeling, address any new questions they might have, and provide updates as necessary.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExplaining such a contentious and potentially divisive topic to children can be challenging. Yet, it's an opportunity to teach them about the principles of democracy, the importance of critical thinking, and the value of respectful discourse. Remember always to be there for them, offering clarity and guidance as they navigate this chapter of American history.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"The arrest of former president Donald Trump may bring up some questions with your children."},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/2b31b4b2-3612-4afb-91c9-ae56bb780231?resourceVersion=id%3A8"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"44e6e2d9-49c8-4b79-9227-e7e57be69d96","drupal_internal__fid":1,"langcode":"en","filename":"trump-mugshot.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-08/trump-mugshot.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-08/trump-mugshot.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":289431,"status":true,"created":"2023-08-27T15:29:22+00:00","changed":"2023-08-27T15:29:39+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-08/trump-mugshot.jpg?itok=S_htIrQi","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-08/trump-mugshot.jpg?itok=RobG77kD","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/44e6e2d9-49c8-4b79-9227-e7e57be69d96"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"President Donald Trump mugshot","title":"","width":2560,"height":2560,"drupal_internal__target_id":1},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"20d20344-830c-4509-95e6-a732b6f07c3b","title":"Is TikTok safe for kids? A cautionary note for parents","created":"2023-08-27T15:23:38+00:00","path":{"alias":"/tiktok-safe-kids-cautionary-note-parents","pid":3,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eIn the age of social media, platforms like TikTok have gained immense popularity, especially among young people. With its short-form videos and trendy challenges, TikTok has become a cultural phenomenon. However, behind the entertaining facade, there are potential negative effects that parents should be aware of. As responsible caregivers, it's crucial to understand the risks associated with this platform and take necessary steps to ensure the well-being of your children.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAddictive Nature\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTikTok's endless scroll feature and the constant stream of new content can easily hook users for hours on end. The addictive nature of the platform can lead to time wasted on trivial videos, affecting productivity, sleep schedules, and even mental health. As a parent, it's essential to encourage your children to set healthy screen time limits and strike a balance between online and offline activities.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMental Health Concerns\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe curated content on TikTok often presents a distorted view of reality, promoting a culture of comparison and unrealistic expectations. Constant exposure to edited and polished content can impact self-esteem and body image, especially among impressionable young minds. Parents should foster open conversations about body positivity and critical media consumption to counter these negative influences.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCyberbullying and Online Harassment\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTikTok, like any social media platform, can be a breeding ground for cyberbullying and online harassment. The ease of anonymous commenting and the viral nature of content can expose children to hurtful and damaging comments. It's crucial for parents to educate their children about online etiquette, the importance of reporting abusive behavior, and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrivacy Concerns\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTikTok encourages users to share personal information and details, which can compromise their privacy and safety. Oversharing or revealing sensitive information can expose children to potential dangers, including online predators. Parents should guide their children on the importance of safeguarding personal information and ensuring their privacy settings are appropriately configured.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInappropriate Content Exposure\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTikTok's algorithm doesn't always ensure age-appropriate content, which means children might come across videos that are not suitable for their age group. This can lead to exposure to explicit language, violence, or mature themes. Parents should consider using parental controls and monitoring their child's activity to prevent them from stumbling upon inappropriate content.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDistorted Perception of Fame and Success\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTikTok's culture of virality and instant fame can create unrealistic expectations among young users. Many children might start believing that becoming an overnight sensation is easy and attainable. Parents should help their children understand that success takes hard work, dedication, and often involves setbacks.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhile TikTok offers a fun and creative platform for expression, it's essential for parents to be vigilant about its potential negative effects on their children's well-being. Open communication, setting boundaries, and educating children about responsible online behavior are key strategies in mitigating these risks. By actively engaging with your children and staying informed about their online activities, you can help them navigate the digital landscape safely and responsibly.\u003cbr\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eIn the age of social media, platforms like TikTok have gained immense popularity, especially among young people. With its short-form videos and trendy challenges, TikTok has become a cultural phenomenon. However, behind the entertaining facade, there are potential negative effects that parents should be aware of. As responsible caregivers, it's crucial to understand the risks associated with this platform and take necessary steps to ensure the well-being of your children.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAddictive Nature\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTikTok's endless scroll feature and the constant stream of new content can easily hook users for hours on end. The addictive nature of the platform can lead to time wasted on trivial videos, affecting productivity, sleep schedules, and even mental health. As a parent, it's essential to encourage your children to set healthy screen time limits and strike a balance between online and offline activities.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMental Health Concerns\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe curated content on TikTok often presents a distorted view of reality, promoting a culture of comparison and unrealistic expectations. Constant exposure to edited and polished content can impact self-esteem and body image, especially among impressionable young minds. Parents should foster open conversations about body positivity and critical media consumption to counter these negative influences.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCyberbullying and Online Harassment\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTikTok, like any social media platform, can be a breeding ground for cyberbullying and online harassment. The ease of anonymous commenting and the viral nature of content can expose children to hurtful and damaging comments. It's crucial for parents to educate their children about online etiquette, the importance of reporting abusive behavior, and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrivacy Concerns\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTikTok encourages users to share personal information and details, which can compromise their privacy and safety. Oversharing or revealing sensitive information can expose children to potential dangers, including online predators. Parents should guide their children on the importance of safeguarding personal information and ensuring their privacy settings are appropriately configured.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInappropriate Content Exposure\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTikTok's algorithm doesn't always ensure age-appropriate content, which means children might come across videos that are not suitable for their age group. This can lead to exposure to explicit language, violence, or mature themes. Parents should consider using parental controls and monitoring their child's activity to prevent them from stumbling upon inappropriate content.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDistorted Perception of Fame and Success\u003c/strong\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eTikTok's culture of virality and instant fame can create unrealistic expectations among young users. Many children might start believing that becoming an overnight sensation is easy and attainable. Parents should help their children understand that success takes hard work, dedication, and often involves setbacks.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhile TikTok offers a fun and creative platform for expression, it's essential for parents to be vigilant about its potential negative effects on their children's well-being. Open communication, setting boundaries, and educating children about responsible online behavior are key strategies in mitigating these risks. By actively engaging with your children and staying informed about their online activities, you can help them navigate the digital landscape safely and responsibly.\u003cbr /\u003e \u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/20d20344-830c-4509-95e6-a732b6f07c3b?resourceVersion=id%3A63"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"17ddc5f9-ce5f-48fb-b937-3a0edd10ab2f","drupal_internal__fid":2,"langcode":"en","filename":"tiktok.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/tiktok.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/tiktok.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":171133,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-01T23:07:42+00:00","changed":"2023-09-01T23:08:16+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/tiktok.jpg?itok=KrKV349B","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/tiktok.jpg?itok=f03GlAFw","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/17ddc5f9-ce5f-48fb-b937-3a0edd10ab2f"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Teen in front of phone camera","title":"","width":1000,"height":667,"drupal_internal__target_id":2},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"c106e84e-5bb5-4e50-b951-1994bc9c67c5","title":"Is your kid smarter than a fifth-gen AI? How to tell if they’re letting tech do their homework","created":"2023-08-24T00:27:30+00:00","path":{"alias":"/child-using-ai-homework","pid":1,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eIf all of a sudden your paste eating middle schooler has seemingly become an academic prodigy, chances are they may have turned to AI to do their schoolwork. If we're being honest, if we had the chance to get an AI to do our math homework in the 6th grade, we would have been all over it. Certainly easier (and less troubling) than bullying the local nerd to do it for you.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo how do you tell if your kid has stumbled on the latest brain enhancement supplement or has turned to AI technology to explain their improved grades? Here are some clues:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA Vocabulary Boost\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf little Susie, who just last week asked you what \"photosynthesis\" meant, is now using terms like \"quantum physics\" and \"neural networks\" in her book reports, be suspicious. Unless she’s binge-watching educational channels, there might be some AI involvement there.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpotless Record\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWas the last math mistake they made when they tried to convince you that three cookies instead of two would be \"nutritionally beneficial\"? A 100% record could either mean you have the next Einstein on your hands or AI is behind the wheel.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Unexplainable Explanation\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAsk your child to explain their work. If they say it’s \"just intuition,\" or worse, \"you wouldn't understand,\" then there's a good chance a machine is doing the brainwork.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTheir Homework Is “Too Good”\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRemember the old phrase \"my dog ate my homework\"? Now, it’s more like \"my AI perfected my homework.\" If your child’s essays sound like they could be TED Talks, or their art assignments resemble Da Vinci's lost works, raise an eyebrow.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStrange Browsing History\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf your family computer suddenly has searches like \"most efficient way to derive Pythagoras's theorem\" or \"history of the French Revolution in 500 words,\" you might want to sit down and have the tech talk.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThey’ve Named Their Laptop\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf your child refers to their laptop or device by a first name like \"Gerald\" or \"Meredith\" and credits it for all their As, well, they might be in on the joke.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Overconfidence Effect\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf they're \u003cem\u003etoo\u003c/em\u003e keen on you checking their homework because they're \"1000% sure\" it's correct, then there's a chance an AI is the real brainiac in the family.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnusual Friendships\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes your child have a new, oddly named friend like \"Deep Blue\" or \"Watson\"? They might not be talking about the new kid in class, but their AI assistant.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHomework Is Done Suspiciously Fast\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf they're wrapping up a month's worth of homework in an hour and then spending the rest of the evening mastering the latest video game or TikTok dance, you might have a tech-savvy prodigy—or an AI accomplice.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn all seriousness, while it's fun to joke about the possibility of our kids using AIs to tackle their assignments, it's crucial to have open conversations about technology. If your child is leaning on an AI, it might be worth discussing the importance of doing their own work and the value of learning for themselves. But also, maybe give them props for being resourceful—after all, knowing how to use tools at one's disposal is a skill in and of itself!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHappy detective work, parents! And remember, even if they're using an AI now, the real world exams of life can't be outsourced.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eIf all of a sudden your paste eating middle schooler has seemingly become an academic prodigy, chances are they may have turned to AI to do their schoolwork. If we're being honest, if we had the chance to get an AI to do our math homework in the 6th grade, we would have been all over it. Certainly easier (and less troubling) than bullying the local nerd to do it for you.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo how do you tell if your kid has stumbled on the latest brain enhancement supplement or has turned to AI technology to explain their improved grades? Here are some clues:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA Vocabulary Boost\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf little Susie, who just last week asked you what \"photosynthesis\" meant, is now using terms like \"quantum physics\" and \"neural networks\" in her book reports, be suspicious. Unless she’s binge-watching educational channels, there might be some AI involvement there.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpotless Record\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWas the last math mistake they made when they tried to convince you that three cookies instead of two would be \"nutritionally beneficial\"? A 100% record could either mean you have the next Einstein on your hands or AI is behind the wheel.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Unexplainable Explanation\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAsk your child to explain their work. If they say it’s \"just intuition,\" or worse, \"you wouldn't understand,\" then there's a good chance a machine is doing the brainwork.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTheir Homework Is “Too Good”\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRemember the old phrase \"my dog ate my homework\"? Now, it’s more like \"my AI perfected my homework.\" If your child’s essays sound like they could be TED Talks, or their art assignments resemble Da Vinci's lost works, raise an eyebrow.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStrange Browsing History\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf your family computer suddenly has searches like \"most efficient way to derive Pythagoras's theorem\" or \"history of the French Revolution in 500 words,\" you might want to sit down and have the tech talk.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThey’ve Named Their Laptop\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf your child refers to their laptop or device by a first name like \"Gerald\" or \"Meredith\" and credits it for all their As, well, they might be in on the joke.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Overconfidence Effect\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf they're \u003cem\u003etoo\u003c/em\u003e keen on you checking their homework because they're \"1000% sure\" it's correct, then there's a chance an AI is the real brainiac in the family.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnusual Friendships\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes your child have a new, oddly named friend like \"Deep Blue\" or \"Watson\"? They might not be talking about the new kid in class, but their AI assistant.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHomework Is Done Suspiciously Fast\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf they're wrapping up a month's worth of homework in an hour and then spending the rest of the evening mastering the latest video game or TikTok dance, you might have a tech-savvy prodigy—or an AI accomplice.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn all seriousness, while it's fun to joke about the possibility of our kids using AIs to tackle their assignments, it's crucial to have open conversations about technology. If your child is leaning on an AI, it might be worth discussing the importance of doing their own work and the value of learning for themselves. But also, maybe give them props for being resourceful—after all, knowing how to use tools at one's disposal is a skill in and of itself!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHappy detective work, parents! And remember, even if they're using an AI now, the real world exams of life can't be outsourced.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/c106e84e-5bb5-4e50-b951-1994bc9c67c5?resourceVersion=id%3A37"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"1b2d68a8-0c5b-4a2f-8f6d-bdb91b1730cb","drupal_internal__fid":3,"langcode":"en","filename":"tech.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/tech.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/tech.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":477505,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-01T23:11:09+00:00","changed":"2023-09-01T23:12:39+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/tech.jpg?itok=DlB4a1CP","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/tech.jpg?itok=oHuVSU-f","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/1b2d68a8-0c5b-4a2f-8f6d-bdb91b1730cb"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Tech network","title":"","width":1000,"height":667,"drupal_internal__target_id":3},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"b32585da-e9ae-4068-8f0c-202beeb621f1","title":"Ask the Angry Baby: Sippy cup rejection, co-sleeping trauma","created":"2015-08-25T16:10:32+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/ask-the-angry-baby-sippy-cup-rejection-co-sleeping-trauma","pid":55,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMy 7-year-old has a habit of cursing. He occasionally does it in front of me, and I've heard he does it at school. How can I get him to stop?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHmmm, that's a tough one... how does one get their kid to stop doing something... I dunno, did you try maybe TELLING HIM TO STOP AND PUNISHING HIM IF HE DOESN'T? You know, try that whole \"parenting\" thing? It sounds like you just sit around wringing your hands, letting your child do whatever he damn well pleases. I think you should... wait, on second thought, can I come live at your house?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI've been trying to get my 12-month-old to use a Sippy cup instead of a bottle, but she refuses. Any tips for me?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou're worried about getting your baby to stop using a bottle when she hits her first birthday? You're like the Bizarro lady who breastfeeds her 8-year-old. It doesn't seem worth a big fight to me, but if it's that important to you then try telling her that using a bottle makes her \u003cem\u003eso\u003c/em\u003e look like a 6-month-old, and not the sophisticated 12-month-old that she really is. And that all the 14-month-olds at the park are laughing at her.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMy husband and I share a family bed with our 13-month-old. Recently, I find that I'm feeling self-conscious when my husband and I get intimate, even though our baby is usually sound asleep. I'd like to continue co-sleeping, but how can I feel more comfortable making love with my husband?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMommy, is that you?! OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD! I have some REALLY bad imagery in my head now, thanks a lot! Tell Dad he better start saving for all those years of therapy I'm going to need. Oooh, I need to lie down. Someone get my paci, stat.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen can I bring my baby out of the country?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs soon as possible. That dude bugs the SHIT out of me at playgroup.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen will my baby understand \"no\"?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's not about understanding the meaning of the word \"no\", it's about your child caring that you are saying \"no\" and stopping whatever they're doing. If he's anything like me, that should happen sometime the day after never.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMy 7-year-old has a habit of cursing. He occasionally does it in front of me, and I've heard he does it at school. How can I get him to stop?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHmmm, that's a tough one... how does one get their kid to stop doing something... I dunno, did you try maybe TELLING HIM TO STOP AND PUNISHING HIM IF HE DOESN'T? You know, try that whole \"parenting\" thing? It sounds like you just sit around wringing your hands, letting your child do whatever he damn well pleases. I think you should... wait, on second thought, can I come live at your house?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI've been trying to get my 12-month-old to use a Sippy cup instead of a bottle, but she refuses. Any tips for me?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou're worried about getting your baby to stop using a bottle when she hits her first birthday? You're like the Bizarro lady who breastfeeds her 8-year-old. It doesn't seem worth a big fight to me, but if it's that important to you then try telling her that using a bottle makes her \u003cem\u003eso\u003c/em\u003e look like a 6-month-old, and not the sophisticated 12-month-old that she really is. And that all the 14-month-olds at the park are laughing at her.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMy husband and I share a family bed with our 13-month-old. Recently, I find that I'm feeling self-conscious when my husband and I get intimate, even though our baby is usually sound asleep. I'd like to continue co-sleeping, but how can I feel more comfortable making love with my husband?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMommy, is that you?! OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD! I have some REALLY bad imagery in my head now, thanks a lot! Tell Dad he better start saving for all those years of therapy I'm going to need. Oooh, I need to lie down. Someone get my paci, stat.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen can I bring my baby out of the country?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs soon as possible. That dude bugs the SHIT out of me at playgroup.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen will my baby understand \"no\"?\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's not about understanding the meaning of the word \"no\", it's about your child caring that you are saying \"no\" and stopping whatever they're doing. If he's anything like me, that should happen sometime the day after never.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"You parents are dumber than you look"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/b32585da-e9ae-4068-8f0c-202beeb621f1?resourceVersion=id%3A67"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"79265850-3ca0-4d1e-8482-b339e8a56fa6","drupal_internal__tid":42,"drupal_internal__revision_id":42,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-11-23T17:09:52+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Angry Baby","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-11-23T17:09:52+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Angry Baby | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/42"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/79265850-3ca0-4d1e-8482-b339e8a56fa6?resourceVersion=id%3A42"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":42},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"9b4d2d1a-2ec1-4037-9bd3-f66362040595","drupal_internal__fid":40,"langcode":"en","filename":"13143990025_6e26035f39_z (1).jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-11/13143990025_6e26035f39_z (1).jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-11/13143990025_6e26035f39_z%20%281%29.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":99578,"status":true,"created":"2023-11-23T17:11:58+00:00","changed":"2023-11-23T17:14:18+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-11/13143990025_6e26035f39_z (1).jpg?itok=K7E8Q_sy","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-11/13143990025_6e26035f39_z (1).jpg?itok=ml0YNET1","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/9b4d2d1a-2ec1-4037-9bd3-f66362040595"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Sippy cup","title":"","width":640,"height":480,"drupal_internal__target_id":40},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"a9187e0b-4909-44c0-a12e-d8504324c2f2","title":"The ChildFREE (Hate) Movement: Childless By Choice","created":"2015-07-28T20:51:43+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/the-childfree-hate-movement-childless-by-choice","pid":29,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eChildfree. A clever appellation for a group of people who are “childless by choice”, the term conjures up happy associations with words like “carefree” or “worry free”. On the surface (that is, in the carefully chosen words on the front pages of their websites), this childfree movement appears calm and rational, even reticent, in the face of the great discrimination they claim to face.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOn sites such as \u003ca href=\"http://www.childfree.net\"\u003eChildfree.net\u003c/a\u003e, you’ll find descriptions like: “We are a group of adults who all share at least one common desire: we do not wish to have children of our own…We consider ourselves childFREE -- free of the loss of personal freedom, money, time and energy that having children requires… Most of us are almost afraid [of] the disapproving stares and cries of, ‘How can you not want children?!’…We feel like freaks.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell, if they feel like freaks, maybe it’s because they \u003cem\u003eare\u003c/em\u003e freaks. Dig under the surface, flip over a log or two, and you’ll find a much darker picture. The following comments were taken from several ChildFREE sites around the web recently, discussing noisy kids in restaurants:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Unfortunately this is AZ where breeders [parents] rule and moos [mothers] get laws passed so they can whip out their tits in public.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"You breed 'em, you control 'em... Someone had better keep the damned monsters quiet.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"If breeders and their vermin were confronted more often for such shit, it might go a long way to stop it. But nobody wants to step up. ...\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLovely. Really sounds like a hate group, doesn’t it? (If you don’t see it, just substitute racial epithets for “moos”, “vermin”, etc.) And this just scratches the surface: when I made a foray into this forum to stick up for parents (essentially, to point out that not all of us should be tarred with the same brush), my young children were insulted in brutal and even sexual terms, and thinly disguised threats were made against their lives (to the point that I reported it to the FBI). To be fair, there are other posters on this forum who use a more moderate tone -- but since they don’t confront the hatemongers, and continue to converse with them, they are culpable as well for implicitly supporting this toxic stew of hatred.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMoving past the unhinged child haters, even the more moderate \"Cfers\" (ChildFREEers) suffer from a serious logic deficit. If their basic proposition were that there are many mediocre to bad parents whose kids, as a fairly direct result, are no picnic either -- then yes, I’d have to agree with that. But that’s an argument for \u003cem\u003ebetter parenting\u003c/em\u003e, not for the elimination of children from the planet, for god's sake! The answer to bad parenting is to set an example with \u003cem\u003egood\u003c/em\u003e parenting, not to carp from the sidelines.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEven more frustrating, this is largely a secular and liberal bunch (like yours truly). Yet they don’t seem very savvy as to how evolution works. They are filtering their DNA right out of the gene pool -- and if, as we secular liberals tend to believe, there is no supernatural afterlife, the gene pool is all we’ve got. Since by definition all people have to start out as children, to dislike children and oppose “breeding” is essentially to oppose the continuation of the human race. Yet a lot of these folks seem to like other adults, as long as said adults are also childfree. Do they really not want another generation of adults to come into existence? Would they actually like to stop the entire human race from procreating, if that were possible? I’m just not sure they’ve thought this whole thing through properly.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne issue that childfree advocates have seized upon is that of the inequities of the tax system. There’s no question that parents pay less in taxes than non-parents, due to the federal per-child tax credit. This does essentially mean that childless workers subsidize the taxes of their “breeding” coworkers, because to eliminate the child tax credit in a revenue-neutral way would require lowering taxes for workers who don’t have kids. But this ignores the fact that \u003cem\u003esomeone\u003c/em\u003e is going to have to take care of these ChildFREE\u0026nbsp;advocates\u0026nbsp;when they are old and/or disabled. And since it obviously won’t be their kids, it’s going to have to be \u003cem\u003eother people’s\u003c/em\u003e kids. So a little advance payment to help raise the generation that’s going to be changing their adult diapers someday doesn’t strike me as out of order!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI want to be clear: I’m not saying people shouldn’t have the choice to not procreate, or that making that choice means someone has less worth as a human being. But the people who join this “childfree” bandwagon are insufferable whiners at best. At worst... well, they represent something much more malign, as we may well see in the comments if any CFers catch wind of this column...\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eChildfree. A clever appellation for a group of people who are “childless by choice”, the term conjures up happy associations with words like “carefree” or “worry free”. On the surface (that is, in the carefully chosen words on the front pages of their websites), this childfree movement appears calm and rational, even reticent, in the face of the great discrimination they claim to face.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOn sites such as \u003ca href=\"http://www.childfree.net\"\u003eChildfree.net\u003c/a\u003e, you’ll find descriptions like: “We are a group of adults who all share at least one common desire: we do not wish to have children of our own…We consider ourselves childFREE -- free of the loss of personal freedom, money, time and energy that having children requires… Most of us are almost afraid [of] the disapproving stares and cries of, ‘How can you not want children?!’…We feel like freaks.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell, if they feel like freaks, maybe it’s because they \u003cem\u003eare\u003c/em\u003e freaks. Dig under the surface, flip over a log or two, and you’ll find a much darker picture. The following comments were taken from several ChildFREE sites around the web recently, discussing noisy kids in restaurants:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Unfortunately this is AZ where breeders [parents] rule and moos [mothers] get laws passed so they can whip out their tits in public.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"You breed 'em, you control 'em... Someone had better keep the damned monsters quiet.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"If breeders and their vermin were confronted more often for such shit, it might go a long way to stop it. But nobody wants to step up. ...\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLovely. Really sounds like a hate group, doesn’t it? (If you don’t see it, just substitute racial epithets for “moos”, “vermin”, etc.) And this just scratches the surface: when I made a foray into this forum to stick up for parents (essentially, to point out that not all of us should be tarred with the same brush), my young children were insulted in brutal and even sexual terms, and thinly disguised threats were made against their lives (to the point that I reported it to the FBI). To be fair, there are other posters on this forum who use a more moderate tone -- but since they don’t confront the hatemongers, and continue to converse with them, they are culpable as well for implicitly supporting this toxic stew of hatred.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMoving past the unhinged child haters, even the more moderate \"Cfers\" (ChildFREEers) suffer from a serious logic deficit. If their basic proposition were that there are many mediocre to bad parents whose kids, as a fairly direct result, are no picnic either -- then yes, I’d have to agree with that. But that’s an argument for \u003cem\u003ebetter parenting\u003c/em\u003e, not for the elimination of children from the planet, for god's sake! The answer to bad parenting is to set an example with \u003cem\u003egood\u003c/em\u003e parenting, not to carp from the sidelines.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEven more frustrating, this is largely a secular and liberal bunch (like yours truly). Yet they don’t seem very savvy as to how evolution works. They are filtering their DNA right out of the gene pool -- and if, as we secular liberals tend to believe, there is no supernatural afterlife, the gene pool is all we’ve got. Since by definition all people have to start out as children, to dislike children and oppose “breeding” is essentially to oppose the continuation of the human race. Yet a lot of these folks seem to like other adults, as long as said adults are also childfree. Do they really not want another generation of adults to come into existence? Would they actually like to stop the entire human race from procreating, if that were possible? I’m just not sure they’ve thought this whole thing through properly.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne issue that childfree advocates have seized upon is that of the inequities of the tax system. There’s no question that parents pay less in taxes than non-parents, due to the federal per-child tax credit. This does essentially mean that childless workers subsidize the taxes of their “breeding” coworkers, because to eliminate the child tax credit in a revenue-neutral way would require lowering taxes for workers who don’t have kids. But this ignores the fact that \u003cem\u003esomeone\u003c/em\u003e is going to have to take care of these ChildFREE advocates when they are old and/or disabled. And since it obviously won’t be their kids, it’s going to have to be \u003cem\u003eother people’s\u003c/em\u003e kids. So a little advance payment to help raise the generation that’s going to be changing their adult diapers someday doesn’t strike me as out of order!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI want to be clear: I’m not saying people shouldn’t have the choice to not procreate, or that making that choice means someone has less worth as a human being. But the people who join this “childfree” bandwagon are insufferable whiners at best. At worst... well, they represent something much more malign, as we may well see in the comments if any CFers catch wind of this column...\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"Known as the CFers, this group acts more like a hate group"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/a9187e0b-4909-44c0-a12e-d8504324c2f2?resourceVersion=id%3A44"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"5effa134-87d0-45b7-98d3-c99130a6649e","drupal_internal__tid":20,"drupal_internal__revision_id":20,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-25T20:53:54+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Alan Thomas","description":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eAlan Thomas was born in Kenya, East Africa, the son of American grad students. They later became professors at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, which is where he grew up... until the family moved to northern Minnesota in his early teens. \u0026nbsp;He has lived in several other states, and currently resides in Missouri, where he works as a substitute teacher. Recently separated, he relishes the four nights a week his son and daughter spend with him. \u0026nbsp;The rest of the time he spends on a variety of pursuits, including tennis, poker, cinema, French, and his eclectic, ever-expanding music library.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"basic_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eAlan Thomas was born in Kenya, East Africa, the son of American grad students. They later became professors at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, which is where he grew up... until the family moved to northern Minnesota in his early teens.  He has lived in several other states, and currently resides in Missouri, where he works as a substitute teacher. Recently separated, he relishes the four nights a week his son and daughter spend with him.  The rest of the time he spends on a variety of pursuits, including tennis, poker, cinema, French, and his eclectic, ever-expanding music library.\u003c/p\u003e"},"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-25T20:53:54+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Alan Thomas | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"description","content":"Alan Thomas was born in Kenya, East Africa, the son of American grad students. They later became professors at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, which is where he grew up... until the family moved to northern Minnesota in his early teens.  He has lived in several other states, and currently resides in Missouri, where he works as a substitute teacher. Recently separated, he relishes the four nights a week his son and daughter spend with him.  The rest of the time he spends on a variety of pursuits, including tennis, poker, cinema, French, and his eclectic, ever-expanding music library."}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/20"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/5effa134-87d0-45b7-98d3-c99130a6649e?resourceVersion=id%3A20"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":20},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"91a2e682-bc16-4540-850a-ec47673d3eec","drupal_internal__fid":22,"langcode":"en","filename":"iStock_000000027206Small.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/iStock_000000027206Small.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/iStock_000000027206Small.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":302975,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-25T20:56:29+00:00","changed":"2023-09-25T20:57:15+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/iStock_000000027206Small.jpg?itok=F3pusoa3","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/iStock_000000027206Small.jpg?itok=kIMaV1Mh","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/91a2e682-bc16-4540-850a-ec47673d3eec"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"No children allowed sign","title":"","width":800,"height":600,"drupal_internal__target_id":22},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"e80ebb4d-48e6-47e7-80fd-27fdb0daa035","title":"Five Reasons School Starting in August is Wrong","created":"2015-07-21T21:01:05+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/school-starting-in-august","pid":30,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eSchool starts in August in many school districts across the country, and that’s just plain wrong.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFirst of all, it’s usually not on a Monday.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf administrators are going to start school in what is ostensibly only the third-quarter of summer, then the least they can do is do it on a Monday.\u0026nbsp; That way working moms will save on a whole week of child care.\u0026nbsp; Stay-at-home moms can get a full week’s jump start on the projects or coffee klatches that have been buried under the sand since June.\u0026nbsp; It’s a teaser.\u0026nbsp; Sure, we’ll take your kids and keep ‘em safe and educate them and all… but we’re only going to do it for three days.\u0026nbsp; We know how much you miss them after having been with them every single day all summer.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSecond, school clothes shopping gets confusing.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNope, no leisurely shopping for school clothes on a Tuesday when we could whiz in and out of stores and maybe even squeeze in a food court lunch.\u0026nbsp; No siree.\u0026nbsp; Since the change of season will happen eventually, everyone will need new clothes.\u0026nbsp; But not when it’s 90 degrees and humid. No one wants to try on leggings and hoodies when all they’ll have to do for the first day of school is smooth out a T shirt and make sure the rubber isn’t too worn down on the flip flops.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThird, school supplies become a summer obsession.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn contrast to Fall clothing, school supplies can be purchased in the summer. Plus, right after Easter, stores start stocking the shelves and the Type A moms can smell the scented erasers from a mile away.\u0026nbsp; They’re scouring the stores for spiral notebooks, and counting out pocket-folders to last through the year.\u0026nbsp; They’re sifting through the Crayolas to make sure their kids don’t end up with two Periwinkles. If school started just a little later, maybe some of us laid-back moms (i.e. procrastinators, as I’d hate to say slackers) would have a chance of picking up something besides a cute kitten folder and white #2 pencils.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFourth, end of summer vacations are out-of-the-question.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy kids start school and hotel prices plummet.\u0026nbsp; It’s now low-season almost everywhere you’d want to go on a family trip.\u0026nbsp; Every amusement, adventure, beach and sightseeing getaway offers deals in August.\u0026nbsp; And we can’t go.\u0026nbsp; We can go, however, over Winter or Spring Break, or in June or July, when luckily prices are higher and we can more generously contribute to the economy.\u0026nbsp; Just doin’ my job.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eLast but not least, Labor Day is null and void.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRemember when Labor Day marked the end of summer and not just another sale at Mattresses-R-Us?\u0026nbsp; The pools closed, the ice cream truck made its last round and school started the next day.\u0026nbsp; We loaded up the backpacks while our moms packed away the summer whites.\u0026nbsp; Now, Labor Day is a three day weekend complete with homework.\u0026nbsp; End of summer as an event is gone – the last hurrah – the final friendly barbecue with friends and family all just fade away like a summer romance… even when it’s still light out at 8pm.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eSchool starts in August in many school districts across the country, and that’s just plain wrong.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFirst of all, it’s usually not on a Monday.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf administrators are going to start school in what is ostensibly only the third-quarter of summer, then the least they can do is do it on a Monday.  That way working moms will save on a whole week of child care.  Stay-at-home moms can get a full week’s jump start on the projects or coffee klatches that have been buried under the sand since June.  It’s a teaser.  Sure, we’ll take your kids and keep ‘em safe and educate them and all… but we’re only going to do it for three days.  We know how much you miss them after having been with them every single day all summer.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSecond, school clothes shopping gets confusing.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNope, no leisurely shopping for school clothes on a Tuesday when we could whiz in and out of stores and maybe even squeeze in a food court lunch.  No siree.  Since the change of season will happen eventually, everyone will need new clothes.  But not when it’s 90 degrees and humid. No one wants to try on leggings and hoodies when all they’ll have to do for the first day of school is smooth out a T shirt and make sure the rubber isn’t too worn down on the flip flops.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThird, school supplies become a summer obsession.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn contrast to Fall clothing, school supplies can be purchased in the summer. Plus, right after Easter, stores start stocking the shelves and the Type A moms can smell the scented erasers from a mile away.  They’re scouring the stores for spiral notebooks, and counting out pocket-folders to last through the year.  They’re sifting through the Crayolas to make sure their kids don’t end up with two Periwinkles. If school started just a little later, maybe some of us laid-back moms (i.e. procrastinators, as I’d hate to say slackers) would have a chance of picking up something besides a cute kitten folder and white #2 pencils.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFourth, end of summer vacations are out-of-the-question.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy kids start school and hotel prices plummet.  It’s now low-season almost everywhere you’d want to go on a family trip.  Every amusement, adventure, beach and sightseeing getaway offers deals in August.  And we can’t go.  We can go, however, over Winter or Spring Break, or in June or July, when luckily prices are higher and we can more generously contribute to the economy.  Just doin’ my job.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eLast but not least, Labor Day is null and void.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRemember when Labor Day marked the end of summer and not just another sale at Mattresses-R-Us?  The pools closed, the ice cream truck made its last round and school started the next day.  We loaded up the backpacks while our moms packed away the summer whites.  Now, Labor Day is a three day weekend complete with homework.  End of summer as an event is gone – the last hurrah – the final friendly barbecue with friends and family all just fade away like a summer romance… even when it’s still light out at 8pm.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"Stop messing up summer, school districts."},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/e80ebb4d-48e6-47e7-80fd-27fdb0daa035?resourceVersion=id%3A42"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"9b2203d4-ce5c-47dc-872b-b08a065de2de","drupal_internal__tid":21,"drupal_internal__revision_id":21,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-25T21:00:09+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Amy Sue Nathan","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-25T21:00:09+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Amy Sue Nathan | Imperfect 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(1).jpg?itok=iLF-0GnU","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/f7de6ccb-3b9a-4fed-8c77-bcfa47956171"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Back to school sign","title":"","width":800,"height":576,"drupal_internal__target_id":23},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"76b17e1c-bb0d-432f-8325-66706181358b","title":"Worst Mother of the Year Award Acceptance Speech","created":"2015-07-15T23:01:54+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/worst-mother-of-the-year-award-acceptance-speech","pid":39,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eThe following is a transcript of this year's \"Worst Mother of the Year\" awards banquet, featuring award winner Mrs. Christine Basham:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChristine Basham:\u003c/strong\u003e Thank you. I can’t say how honored I was to be nominated, and how surprised I am to have won.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eApparently, there was some debate among the Committee. I had just bought chicken and curly fries for the entire voting panel, and treated them to an afternoon at the playground. Some have called this a desperate attempt at bribery, the kind of thing that takes down Olympic search delegations.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDespite the outcry of junior Committee members, the senior member, with eleven years tenure, listed, in his closing statements, my qualifications for the award:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI brought my photos to the park. In full view of children of a wide range of ages, I attached baby photos of the eldest Committee member to a scrapbook. Said photos included poses of a personal, private, and indelicate nature. The senior member of the Committee was degraded by this publicly humiliating display of maternal incompetence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"That’s the stupidest thing you have EVER done,\" he said, before several witnesses.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter learning of my nomination for the Worst Mother of the Year award, I did not immediately hide the offending pictures in my car. Rather, I left them in an open bag, in full view of passersby. My objection that \"no one was looking at them until (the senior Committee member) made a big fuss about it,\" was met with scorn.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"You’ve clinched it, there,\" said a nearby Worst Mother nominee.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis incident was not, however, my sole attempt at Worst Mother acclaim. I have, in the recent past, refused to serve proper food to Committee members, separated them from their colleagues for reasons both inscrutable and capricious, limited their access to media both televised and hand held devices, and required menial labor from Committee members at sub-standard wages.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI humbly join noted, but nameless, previous Worst Mothers: the mom who sends vegetables to school parties, the mom who won’t let her daughters sleep over, and last year’s winner, the mom who damaged Mrs. Rizas’ third-grade class by refusing permission for her child to watch \"Harry Potter\" on video. The class watched \"Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang\" instead, an inferior and, according to Committee members, \"lame\" substitute.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI also am honored to note that my mother received this same Award, in 1993, for refusing me permission to elope with a Navy sailor. Though she has misplaced her award in the past decade, she’s here today. Mom? Would you please stand and take a bow? There she is, ladies, Worst Mother of 1993. Give her a hand, will you?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMay competition for next year’s award be fierce. And may the worst mom win.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eThe following is a transcript of this year's \"Worst Mother of the Year\" awards banquet, featuring award winner Mrs. Christine Basham:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChristine Basham:\u003c/strong\u003e Thank you. I can’t say how honored I was to be nominated, and how surprised I am to have won.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eApparently, there was some debate among the Committee. I had just bought chicken and curly fries for the entire voting panel, and treated them to an afternoon at the playground. Some have called this a desperate attempt at bribery, the kind of thing that takes down Olympic search delegations.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDespite the outcry of junior Committee members, the senior member, with eleven years tenure, listed, in his closing statements, my qualifications for the award:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI brought my photos to the park. In full view of children of a wide range of ages, I attached baby photos of the eldest Committee member to a scrapbook. Said photos included poses of a personal, private, and indelicate nature. The senior member of the Committee was degraded by this publicly humiliating display of maternal incompetence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"That’s the stupidest thing you have EVER done,\" he said, before several witnesses.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter learning of my nomination for the Worst Mother of the Year award, I did not immediately hide the offending pictures in my car. Rather, I left them in an open bag, in full view of passersby. My objection that \"no one was looking at them until (the senior Committee member) made a big fuss about it,\" was met with scorn.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"You’ve clinched it, there,\" said a nearby Worst Mother nominee.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis incident was not, however, my sole attempt at Worst Mother acclaim. I have, in the recent past, refused to serve proper food to Committee members, separated them from their colleagues for reasons both inscrutable and capricious, limited their access to media both televised and hand held devices, and required menial labor from Committee members at sub-standard wages.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI humbly join noted, but nameless, previous Worst Mothers: the mom who sends vegetables to school parties, the mom who won’t let her daughters sleep over, and last year’s winner, the mom who damaged Mrs. Rizas’ third-grade class by refusing permission for her child to watch \"Harry Potter\" on video. The class watched \"Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang\" instead, an inferior and, according to Committee members, \"lame\" substitute.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI also am honored to note that my mother received this same Award, in 1993, for refusing me permission to elope with a Navy sailor. Though she has misplaced her award in the past decade, she’s here today. Mom? Would you please stand and take a bow? There she is, ladies, Worst Mother of 1993. Give her a hand, will you?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMay competition for next year’s award be fierce. And may the worst mom win.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"It was more of an honor to win than to be nominated"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/76b17e1c-bb0d-432f-8325-66706181358b?resourceVersion=id%3A50"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"63d398bf-60ad-4d06-8e0f-f3586659a67a","drupal_internal__tid":27,"drupal_internal__revision_id":27,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-26T23:01:28+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Christine Basham","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-26T23:01:28+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Christine Basham | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/27"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/63d398bf-60ad-4d06-8e0f-f3586659a67a?resourceVersion=id%3A27"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":27},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"4833c05d-c279-4832-834c-159a655e14b8","drupal_internal__fid":28,"langcode":"en","filename":"Snip20150722_1.png","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/Snip20150722_1.png","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/Snip20150722_1.png"},"filemime":"image/png","filesize":419952,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-26T23:05:20+00:00","changed":"2023-09-26T23:05:29+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/Snip20150722_1.png?itok=oI_7KZ0p","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/Snip20150722_1.png?itok=-iVL_9AH","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/4833c05d-c279-4832-834c-159a655e14b8"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Worst Mother of the Year Award","title":"","width":613,"height":465,"drupal_internal__target_id":28},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"5554aec6-f878-406e-84d4-099aadaad532","title":"When a daughter is embarrassed by her lesbian moms","created":"2015-07-13T19:14:18+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/when-a-daughter-is-embarrassed-by-her-lesbian-moms","pid":47,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003e“You know what Miss Feldman told us today,” said a conspiratorial voice from the back seat. “She’s gay... EWWWW!!!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt the outset I have to say I have changed the names here to protect the guilty. The girl who made this pronouncement -- let’s call her Maria, shall we? -- was my daughter’s most recent BFF. Apparently their fourth-grade teacher had come out to them at school. Maria felt it was her job to broadcast this slightly shocking newsflash to anyone she felt would listen.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBeside me sat my partner of five years, Claudia. And my daughter Saadia sat deathly quiet in the backseat, wondering what I would say to this bit of news, which she and I had of course known all along.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI briefly considered screeching to a halt and throwing this horrible child out into the intensifying snowstorm. And I fantasized about it for some time afterward. But getting arrested wasn’t going to help my daughter much, even if ridding the world of this obnoxious child would.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich brings up the general feeling I have about parenting. The what-the-hell-am-I-doing feeling. The why-am-I-drinking-a-beer- and-shoveling-in-potato-chips-after- bedtime-when-all-the-other-mothers- are-making-cookies-and-playdates feeling. Call me the parenting imposter. Maybe it’s because my daughter did not come to me until she was five years old. Maybe it’s because I have a rather odd blended family –two mother-child pairs, squished together into one not-very-big house. Maybe it’s because I still am not sure, at age 37, that I’ve grown up enough myself to actually be parenting a child who is now as big as I am. Scratch that, last week she officially became bigger than I am. She’s a freakishly tall kid. So at times like this if I manage to stop my knee-jerk reaction (i.e. throwing this kid in a snowbank) I try to imagine what someone who really IS a good parent would do.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“There’s nothing gross about being gay, Maria. In fact, Claudia and I are also gay, did you know that?” I didn’t think the child could handle the word \u003cem\u003elesbians\u003c/em\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI probably should mention the looks I was getting from my partner at the time. Call us a stereotype if you will, but we love women’s basketball. We were on the way to use our season tickets to see our local college team play. We get them cheap, real cheap. Anyone with season tickets to the men’s games can get as many season tickets for the women’s games as they want for a buck. We just pawn them off of those folks. Clearly Title IX didn’t legislate equality in fan base.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut Claudia did not want to go to this game. Maria was no one’s favorite child. But, desperate, I had begged... I did not want to be alone with these two. So at this moment Claudia was looking daggers at me, because she, she wanted to remind me, would much rather have stayed HOME. I was getting no help from that front.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“EEEEWWWW!!!!!” I heard from the backseat. Still silence from my daughter’s side.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome mush came out of my mouth about loving people never being wrong, but my mind was on other things. Why is it that my daughter doesn’t tell her friends that her mom is a lesbian? Those tweeny-bopper magazines she reads say you’re supposed to share your deepest darkest with your BFFs.\u0026nbsp; Apparently Saadia viewed my lesbianism as even deeper and darker than Miley Cyrus' downward spiral into trainwreckery. I could see no answer to this question. She’s been to kids-of-gay-parents summer camps. And clearly had the support of a lesbian teacher. And she’s close with other kids with two moms. Yet she wouldn’t talk about her feelings with me, her friends, with anyone.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFast forward a few months. My daughter’s in fifth grade now. Much to my relief Saadia and Maria are now in different classrooms, although they still spend every free minute together.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSaadia and I were recently walking to the local health food store after school to pick up a snack. I was leaving the next day for my annual pilgrimage to Baltimore, where I meet my own two BFFs (although we 30-somethings call them our homies) who also fly in from different parts of the country. We drink a lot, eat even more, ogle women, and I do my very best to forget my parenting responsibilities. Saadia was clearly worried because Claudia would be picking her up at school.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“But my teacher doesn’t know who Claudia is!” (Imagine these words spoken with adolescent outrage.)\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeeing my opportunity to once again deal with her discomfort about my queer ways, I asked her, “Well, what should we tell her?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI got the adolescent shrug. The ‘I dunno’ without words.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOkay, thought I, remember those adoption classes. “Children can’t always put their feelings into words,” the handout had informed us. “Naming feelings for them will help them begin to express themselves.” I suspected instead that this was a vicious case of PMS, but hey, at least I had a strategy.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Are you uncomfortable with telling her that your mom has a woman partner?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe shrug again.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Well,” said I, “you could tell her just that. Claudia is my mom’s partner.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“No! She won’t know what that means!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI could feel myself losing patience with this. “Why don’t you tell her Claudia is my girlfriend?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Nooooo!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe image of what the good parent would do deserted me. All I had left was the evil part of me that had wanted to chuck that obnoxious child out into the winter’s night.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“How does ‘Claudia is my mom’s lesbian lover’ sound to you, eh?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Moooommmmmm!!!!! EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell at least I got her talking.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003e“You know what Miss Feldman told us today,” said a conspiratorial voice from the back seat. “She’s gay... EWWWW!!!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt the outset I have to say I have changed the names here to protect the guilty. The girl who made this pronouncement -- let’s call her Maria, shall we? -- was my daughter’s most recent BFF. Apparently their fourth-grade teacher had come out to them at school. Maria felt it was her job to broadcast this slightly shocking newsflash to anyone she felt would listen.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBeside me sat my partner of five years, Claudia. And my daughter Saadia sat deathly quiet in the backseat, wondering what I would say to this bit of news, which she and I had of course known all along.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI briefly considered screeching to a halt and throwing this horrible child out into the intensifying snowstorm. And I fantasized about it for some time afterward. But getting arrested wasn’t going to help my daughter much, even if ridding the world of this obnoxious child would.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich brings up the general feeling I have about parenting. The what-the-hell-am-I-doing feeling. The why-am-I-drinking-a-beer- and-shoveling-in-potato-chips-after- bedtime-when-all-the-other-mothers- are-making-cookies-and-playdates feeling. Call me the parenting imposter. Maybe it’s because my daughter did not come to me until she was five years old. Maybe it’s because I have a rather odd blended family –two mother-child pairs, squished together into one not-very-big house. Maybe it’s because I still am not sure, at age 37, that I’ve grown up enough myself to actually be parenting a child who is now as big as I am. Scratch that, last week she officially became bigger than I am. She’s a freakishly tall kid. So at times like this if I manage to stop my knee-jerk reaction (i.e. throwing this kid in a snowbank) I try to imagine what someone who really IS a good parent would do.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“There’s nothing gross about being gay, Maria. In fact, Claudia and I are also gay, did you know that?” I didn’t think the child could handle the word \u003cem\u003elesbians\u003c/em\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI probably should mention the looks I was getting from my partner at the time. Call us a stereotype if you will, but we love women’s basketball. We were on the way to use our season tickets to see our local college team play. We get them cheap, real cheap. Anyone with season tickets to the men’s games can get as many season tickets for the women’s games as they want for a buck. We just pawn them off of those folks. Clearly Title IX didn’t legislate equality in fan base.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut Claudia did not want to go to this game. Maria was no one’s favorite child. But, desperate, I had begged... I did not want to be alone with these two. So at this moment Claudia was looking daggers at me, because she, she wanted to remind me, would much rather have stayed HOME. I was getting no help from that front.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“EEEEWWWW!!!!!” I heard from the backseat. Still silence from my daughter’s side.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome mush came out of my mouth about loving people never being wrong, but my mind was on other things. Why is it that my daughter doesn’t tell her friends that her mom is a lesbian? Those tweeny-bopper magazines she reads say you’re supposed to share your deepest darkest with your BFFs.  Apparently Saadia viewed my lesbianism as even deeper and darker than Miley Cyrus' downward spiral into trainwreckery. I could see no answer to this question. She’s been to kids-of-gay-parents summer camps. And clearly had the support of a lesbian teacher. And she’s close with other kids with two moms. Yet she wouldn’t talk about her feelings with me, her friends, with anyone.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFast forward a few months. My daughter’s in fifth grade now. Much to my relief Saadia and Maria are now in different classrooms, although they still spend every free minute together.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSaadia and I were recently walking to the local health food store after school to pick up a snack. I was leaving the next day for my annual pilgrimage to Baltimore, where I meet my own two BFFs (although we 30-somethings call them our homies) who also fly in from different parts of the country. We drink a lot, eat even more, ogle women, and I do my very best to forget my parenting responsibilities. Saadia was clearly worried because Claudia would be picking her up at school.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“But my teacher doesn’t know who Claudia is!” (Imagine these words spoken with adolescent outrage.)\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeeing my opportunity to once again deal with her discomfort about my queer ways, I asked her, “Well, what should we tell her?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI got the adolescent shrug. The ‘I dunno’ without words.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOkay, thought I, remember those adoption classes. “Children can’t always put their feelings into words,” the handout had informed us. “Naming feelings for them will help them begin to express themselves.” I suspected instead that this was a vicious case of PMS, but hey, at least I had a strategy.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Are you uncomfortable with telling her that your mom has a woman partner?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe shrug again.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Well,” said I, “you could tell her just that. Claudia is my mom’s partner.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“No! She won’t know what that means!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI could feel myself losing patience with this. “Why don’t you tell her Claudia is my girlfriend?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Nooooo!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe image of what the good parent would do deserted me. All I had left was the evil part of me that had wanted to chuck that obnoxious child out into the winter’s night.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“How does ‘Claudia is my mom’s lesbian lover’ sound to you, eh?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Moooommmmmm!!!!! EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell at least I got her talking.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/5554aec6-f878-406e-84d4-099aadaad532?resourceVersion=id%3A57"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"025bafb0-6cc0-4fe0-aa8f-f776bc168228","drupal_internal__tid":34,"drupal_internal__revision_id":34,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-30T19:13:39+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Melissa Doak","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-30T19:13:39+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Melissa Doak | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/34"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/025bafb0-6cc0-4fe0-aa8f-f776bc168228?resourceVersion=id%3A34"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":34},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"af3cda06-626f-42e1-8580-e85eefc7b19b","drupal_internal__fid":34,"langcode":"en","filename":"2623936300_e56a723f66_z-1.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/2623936300_e56a723f66_z-1.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/2623936300_e56a723f66_z-1.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":142533,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-30T19:17:25+00:00","changed":"2023-09-30T19:19:12+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/2623936300_e56a723f66_z-1.jpg?itok=xApEVzj9","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/2623936300_e56a723f66_z-1.jpg?itok=LLkT8-13","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/af3cda06-626f-42e1-8580-e85eefc7b19b"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"LGBTQ+ march","title":"","width":640,"height":480,"drupal_internal__target_id":34},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"72289091-fa51-4e89-8a7d-82493b464e39","title":"How to be friends with a working mother","created":"2015-07-12T16:01:48+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/how-to-be-friends-with-a-working-mother","pid":54,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eI have a lot of friends who are wonderful mothers who freely admit that staying home would make them crazy. I never know quite how to respond. They look at me and I know they are thinking. “How the hell does she do it? \u003cem\u003eWhy\u003c/em\u003e the hell does she do it?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHmmm.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTo this I say: Of \u003cem\u003ecourse\u003c/em\u003e it makes you crazy. That's the bloody point. It's boot camp, hazing and hell week combined. All you have to do is make eye contact with another mom who's going through it and you know you're looking at a soul mate, a member of the club of warrior women.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome of us stay-at-homes secretly feel that if you're not at home questioning your sanity and every life choice you've made to date, it's just not fair. You shouldn't get to be a mother without feeling crazy, bored, frustrated, overmedicated and like you've given up on yourself.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBesides, if you're not being driven crazy by motherhood, then how can you possibly fulfill its most basic tenet: passing your neuroses onto your children? It's a mother's sacred duty. If we don't have any mental illnesses ourselves, how can our children inherit? It's the craziness you get from your mom which makes the world go ‘round. Think about it. The world would be lacking most of its great literature if all of the writers had had sane mothers. Not to mention that the entire fields of psychiatry, ice cream manufacturing and pharmacology would collapse as well. So you're doing the world a favor by staying home with your kids. Think of it that way.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI say it's no fair that you get to go to work and have a jolly old time all day talking to adults who don't spit food at you. You have the paid help break up the fights between your kids and negotiate whose turn it is to be Luigi and whose turn it is to be Mario, then you waltz in at 7pm and have the kids actually happy to see you. You do your fifteen-minute quality-time requirement and you're done. No fucking fair! It's like the woman who ran the New York City marathon by ducking into a subway in Brooklyn and \u003ca href=\"http://hoaxes.org/archive/permalink/rosie_ruiz_wins_the_boston_marathon/\"\u003eemerging near the Central Park finish line\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYeah, I know this is a gross oversimplification. I know that working moms will be outraged at this callous treatment of their busy lives. But hey, I speak for the stay-at-homes who have heard themselves referred to as the “muffia” by working mothers who suppose we do nothing but bake muffins all day. So cry me a river, Ms. Have-It-All.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHey, calm down. I'm kidding. I suppose this whole working vs. stay-at-home motherhood comparison has grown tiresome. Maybe we should band together and start a revolution. Fight for the respect all mothers deserve! Fight against our culture of materialism that keeps us on the treadmill! Fight against the corporate mentality that crushes any human need in its path! If you get anywhere with this, let me know.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeanwhile, I'm going to stay the course. Maybe the stay-at-home craziness will lead me to some higher mental place. I'm still hoping. I glimpse nirvana occasionally, like the one time my son opened a granola bar wrapper all by himself and I was there to witness it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOccasionally the workies will slip here and there. The P.C. guard will be dropped. One of my working friends mentioned a mutual acquaintance that decided to stay home with her kids. The conversation went a little something like this:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Can you see Ann as a \u003cem\u003eSTAY-AT-HOME MOTHER\u003c/em\u003e?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Well, yes, I can. Why not?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's amusing to see the backpedaling commence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Oh, well, I mean, it's just that she's so smart...”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Meaning?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Umm…hey look over there! Nordstrom's having a shoe sale!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOhhhhkay. So how do us stay-at-home freaks deal with this? You still like your friend and want to remain loyal, even if she does have a nice manicure, hair that has been brushed recently and a savings account.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe temptation is to give her a guilt trip. You want to describe all the enriching, bonding experiences you have had with your kids. Play up the fact that you dropped off the forgotten lunchbox at school and how happy your child was that you were there for him. Describe the wonderful hours whiled away at the library reading \u003cem\u003eGo, Dog, Go\u003c/em\u003e. Just don't mention the scolding you gave your kid for forgetting his lunch, thereby blowing the tender moment, or that you had to pull your hysterical child out of the library after you were asked to leave.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut anyway, that guilt-trip induction technique is small minded. Don't stoop to that level, no matter how tempting. Remember, your friend thinks about things like meetings, metrics\u0026nbsp;and business lunches, so you have to speak her language.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePlaygroups can be renamed status meetings. The PTA bake sale can become a business lunch, if you grab an oatmeal muffin and eat it on the spot. Go ahead and schedule your days on \u003ca href=\"https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/google-calendar-by-google/gmbgaklkmjakoegficnlkhebmhkjfich?hl=en\"\u003eGoogle Calendar\u003c/a\u003e\u0026nbsp;if it helps and you don't mind looking like a supreme dork in front of the other stay-at-homes. One mother I know actually had business cards printed. Her title? “Mother of Susannah and Jordan” (yes, some of us are that desperate for respect). Be creative. Your working friend's ears will perk up. She will actually listen to you with the respect paid to a functioning member of society instead of regarding you as a curious object of pity.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne technique that really hurts no one, except your own mortal soul, is to shamelessly engage in schadenfreude. Quietly gloat when she complains that her kid is angry and having trouble socially because he resents the time his mother spends at work. Enjoy your feelings of mothering superiority. Never mind that your own kids are just as fucked up and you have no one to blame but yourself. Also, beware the parenting gods. Judge not other mothers lest you too be judged and smited. Or smote. There will be a plague upon your house. You know I'm talking about: Strep Throat striking on a Sunday Morn, six-foot snowdrifts and a broken DVD player.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo gloating is out. Instead, try pretending you are a working woman who occasionally uses her brain for something other than sniffing her toddler's butt to ascertain if he farted or took a dump. Drop the kids off with a neighbor for a few hours. Go home, shower and shave your legs. And not just your ankles that stick out of your capris. Lose the toothpaste-stained tee shirt and put on grown-up clothes. Ride the train into the city carrying a vat of Starbucks and a \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com\" target=\"new\"\u003eNew York Times\u003c/a\u003e. Look at your phone\u0026nbsp;a lot and excuse yourself frequently to take calls. \u003cem\u003e“No, that won't work. It's a crazy week. I've got deadlines up the wazoo.”\u003c/em\u003e Notice the dead eyes of the beaten commuters around you and ask yourself if this is what you really want after all. When everyone else gets off the train in the city just turn around and ride back home. Maybe you'll feel better.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf nothing else works, remind yourself that staying at home with your children is just a passing stage. It's hard to believe now but the rest of your life really does not resemble the classic perspective lesson. You know, the one with the vanishing point on the horizon and nothing but emptiness and hopelessness ahead. There really will be a time when Edvard Munch's \u003cem\u003e“The Scream”\u003c/em\u003e no longer feels so familiar. Try to believe it when old-timers tell you that kids grow up so fast. After all, it's hard to believe your baby is five years old already. Hasn't the time just flown by? Doesn't it seem like, well, five years ago that he was born?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo for what it's worth we will be able to look back and say we were there for our kids. We saw it all. The first steps, the smiles at school pickup time, the warm cuddliness of their bodies after nap. Even though it made us crazy, we were present, unless we count the hours we spent hiding from them in the john and sobbing.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eI have a lot of friends who are wonderful mothers who freely admit that staying home would make them crazy. I never know quite how to respond. They look at me and I know they are thinking. “How the hell does she do it? \u003cem\u003eWhy\u003c/em\u003e the hell does she do it?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHmmm.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTo this I say: Of \u003cem\u003ecourse\u003c/em\u003e it makes you crazy. That's the bloody point. It's boot camp, hazing and hell week combined. All you have to do is make eye contact with another mom who's going through it and you know you're looking at a soul mate, a member of the club of warrior women.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome of us stay-at-homes secretly feel that if you're not at home questioning your sanity and every life choice you've made to date, it's just not fair. You shouldn't get to be a mother without feeling crazy, bored, frustrated, overmedicated and like you've given up on yourself.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBesides, if you're not being driven crazy by motherhood, then how can you possibly fulfill its most basic tenet: passing your neuroses onto your children? It's a mother's sacred duty. If we don't have any mental illnesses ourselves, how can our children inherit? It's the craziness you get from your mom which makes the world go ‘round. Think about it. The world would be lacking most of its great literature if all of the writers had had sane mothers. Not to mention that the entire fields of psychiatry, ice cream manufacturing and pharmacology would collapse as well. So you're doing the world a favor by staying home with your kids. Think of it that way.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI say it's no fair that you get to go to work and have a jolly old time all day talking to adults who don't spit food at you. You have the paid help break up the fights between your kids and negotiate whose turn it is to be Luigi and whose turn it is to be Mario, then you waltz in at 7pm and have the kids actually happy to see you. You do your fifteen-minute quality-time requirement and you're done. No fucking fair! It's like the woman who ran the New York City marathon by ducking into a subway in Brooklyn and \u003ca href=\"http://hoaxes.org/archive/permalink/rosie_ruiz_wins_the_boston_marathon/\"\u003eemerging near the Central Park finish line\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYeah, I know this is a gross oversimplification. I know that working moms will be outraged at this callous treatment of their busy lives. But hey, I speak for the stay-at-homes who have heard themselves referred to as the “muffia” by working mothers who suppose we do nothing but bake muffins all day. So cry me a river, Ms. Have-It-All.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHey, calm down. I'm kidding. I suppose this whole working vs. stay-at-home motherhood comparison has grown tiresome. Maybe we should band together and start a revolution. Fight for the respect all mothers deserve! Fight against our culture of materialism that keeps us on the treadmill! Fight against the corporate mentality that crushes any human need in its path! If you get anywhere with this, let me know.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeanwhile, I'm going to stay the course. Maybe the stay-at-home craziness will lead me to some higher mental place. I'm still hoping. I glimpse nirvana occasionally, like the one time my son opened a granola bar wrapper all by himself and I was there to witness it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOccasionally the workies will slip here and there. The P.C. guard will be dropped. One of my working friends mentioned a mutual acquaintance that decided to stay home with her kids. The conversation went a little something like this:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Can you see Ann as a \u003cem\u003eSTAY-AT-HOME MOTHER\u003c/em\u003e?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Well, yes, I can. Why not?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's amusing to see the backpedaling commence.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Oh, well, I mean, it's just that she's so smart...”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Meaning?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Umm…hey look over there! Nordstrom's having a shoe sale!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOhhhhkay. So how do us stay-at-home freaks deal with this? You still like your friend and want to remain loyal, even if she does have a nice manicure, hair that has been brushed recently and a savings account.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe temptation is to give her a guilt trip. You want to describe all the enriching, bonding experiences you have had with your kids. Play up the fact that you dropped off the forgotten lunchbox at school and how happy your child was that you were there for him. Describe the wonderful hours whiled away at the library reading \u003cem\u003eGo, Dog, Go\u003c/em\u003e. Just don't mention the scolding you gave your kid for forgetting his lunch, thereby blowing the tender moment, or that you had to pull your hysterical child out of the library after you were asked to leave.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut anyway, that guilt-trip induction technique is small minded. Don't stoop to that level, no matter how tempting. Remember, your friend thinks about things like meetings, metrics and business lunches, so you have to speak her language.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePlaygroups can be renamed status meetings. The PTA bake sale can become a business lunch, if you grab an oatmeal muffin and eat it on the spot. Go ahead and schedule your days on \u003ca href=\"https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/google-calendar-by-google/gmbgaklkmjakoegficnlkhebmhkjfich?hl=en\"\u003eGoogle Calendar\u003c/a\u003e if it helps and you don't mind looking like a supreme dork in front of the other stay-at-homes. One mother I know actually had business cards printed. Her title? “Mother of Susannah and Jordan” (yes, some of us are that desperate for respect). Be creative. Your working friend's ears will perk up. She will actually listen to you with the respect paid to a functioning member of society instead of regarding you as a curious object of pity.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne technique that really hurts no one, except your own mortal soul, is to shamelessly engage in schadenfreude. Quietly gloat when she complains that her kid is angry and having trouble socially because he resents the time his mother spends at work. Enjoy your feelings of mothering superiority. Never mind that your own kids are just as fucked up and you have no one to blame but yourself. Also, beware the parenting gods. Judge not other mothers lest you too be judged and smited. Or smote. There will be a plague upon your house. You know I'm talking about: Strep Throat striking on a Sunday Morn, six-foot snowdrifts and a broken DVD player.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo gloating is out. Instead, try pretending you are a working woman who occasionally uses her brain for something other than sniffing her toddler's butt to ascertain if he farted or took a dump. Drop the kids off with a neighbor for a few hours. Go home, shower and shave your legs. And not just your ankles that stick out of your capris. Lose the toothpaste-stained tee shirt and put on grown-up clothes. Ride the train into the city carrying a vat of Starbucks and a \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com\" target=\"new\"\u003eNew York Times\u003c/a\u003e. Look at your phone a lot and excuse yourself frequently to take calls. \u003cem\u003e“No, that won't work. It's a crazy week. I've got deadlines up the wazoo.”\u003c/em\u003e Notice the dead eyes of the beaten commuters around you and ask yourself if this is what you really want after all. When everyone else gets off the train in the city just turn around and ride back home. Maybe you'll feel better.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf nothing else works, remind yourself that staying at home with your children is just a passing stage. It's hard to believe now but the rest of your life really does not resemble the classic perspective lesson. You know, the one with the vanishing point on the horizon and nothing but emptiness and hopelessness ahead. There really will be a time when Edvard Munch's \u003cem\u003e“The Scream”\u003c/em\u003e no longer feels so familiar. Try to believe it when old-timers tell you that kids grow up so fast. After all, it's hard to believe your baby is five years old already. Hasn't the time just flown by? Doesn't it seem like, well, five years ago that he was born?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo for what it's worth we will be able to look back and say we were there for our kids. We saw it all. The first steps, the smiles at school pickup time, the warm cuddliness of their bodies after nap. Even though it made us crazy, we were present, unless we count the hours we spent hiding from them in the john and sobbing.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/72289091-fa51-4e89-8a7d-82493b464e39?resourceVersion=id%3A66"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"b98666ec-d9fb-42f4-a117-0b758a15295c","drupal_internal__tid":41,"drupal_internal__revision_id":41,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-11-23T17:01:02+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Kelley Cunningham","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-11-23T17:01:02+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Kelley Cunningham | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/41"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/b98666ec-d9fb-42f4-a117-0b758a15295c?resourceVersion=id%3A41"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":41},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"075dde06-977e-48ef-abb0-0e48cf0345f8","drupal_internal__fid":39,"langcode":"en","filename":"Snip20150711_1 (1).png","uri":{"value":"public://2023-11/Snip20150711_1 (1).png","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-11/Snip20150711_1%20%281%29.png"},"filemime":"image/png","filesize":461235,"status":true,"created":"2023-11-23T17:03:01+00:00","changed":"2023-11-23T17:05:08+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-11/Snip20150711_1 (1).png?itok=z2fv6rag","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-11/Snip20150711_1 (1).png?itok=Lv1sbChr","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/075dde06-977e-48ef-abb0-0e48cf0345f8"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Mom on phone holding child","title":"","width":621,"height":500,"drupal_internal__target_id":39},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"62823adb-6a4e-49a7-8b01-0fa556983981","title":"Yes, My Kids Always Get Sent to the Principal’s Office","created":"2015-07-09T15:15:42+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/yes-my-kids-always-get-sent-to-the-principals-office","pid":32,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eI’ve lost sleep for many nights now, waking up in the middle of the night, worried about the future of my teenage sons. Over the years, they have both had challenges with school, sometimes alternately, sometimes simultaneously, adding numerous grey hairs under my “natural” brown hair. After the 16-year-old leaves for school and I drop the 14-year-old off at his, my day is spent looking in dread at the caller ID on the phone each time it rings. “Mrs. Keller? This is Mr. So and So at Such and Such school. Could you come pick up your son?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am THAT parent of THOSE kids. The ones that get in trouble. The ones who get sent to the principal’s office—something I spent my entire school career trying to avoid. And somehow, every time I get that call and make the long, anxious trip to school, then enter that office with my tail between my legs, I am suddenly 10 or 13 or 16 again and haven’t managed to avoid the principal’s office at all. I see the sad, sullen face of whichever boy of mine managed to make an impulsive, regrettable decision and I am distraught.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn that moment, I feel ashamed and heartbroken. Perhaps I should be angry, but all I can think of is how great this young man of mine is. I know his heart, his intent, and his remorse. They are not malicious, my sons. They are not bullies or druggies or vandals. Their infractions usually center around disrespect, or controlling their emotions. Somehow I have raised two kids with no tolerance for bullshit or ineptitude, for which I am proud, and yet I have failed to teach them how to contain their contempt and frustration. Perhaps we cannot teach our children what we fail to do ourselves.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs this man (always a man) charged with being school disciplinarian looks at me and articulates the wrongdoing of my offspring, thoughts swarm in my head. My heart races. When he finishes, his words hang heavy in the room as I hear the soft sniffles of my son, head hanging, nose dripping. This man is waiting for me to say something. To give him some explanation of my failing or my son’s, to get angry or defensive, or give him some clue about what great parenting technique I am going to employ to change my son’s behavior. Or better yet, what punishment I will dole out that will be painful enough that he will never sin again.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut I don’t know what to say that will fulfill this man’s need. Sitting there calmly, my demeanor belies the tempest inside me. I hear words fall lamely from my mouth to somehow convince him that I am a good mother, an effective parent. Really I am just trying to move through this as quickly as possible so that I can race my child in slow motion out of that office and into the car and the safety of our home. I want out from under this magnifying glass hovering over his behavior and my parenting. Truthfully, the safety is partially for him and mostly for me.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe car ride home is usually quiet at first. After a few minutes when I think I have collected myself, I begin to talk, to question him, but the tears always come. Tears of sadness for him and his situation. Tears of distress that I have somehow failed him. Tears of frustration that here we are, once again, neither one of us learning how to prevent a repeat performance of his poor judgment. He sits, quietly, knowing that this is the second part of the torture that is his punishment for his behavior—me trying to force him to talk about his thoughts and feelings.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUsually, eventually, he will toss some crumb to me of what is going on inside that head and heart of his. It will have to suffice, because the more I push, the more he steels against my prodding. Sometimes, there is some consequence doled out—\u003cem\u003eyou can’t use the car, you’re grounded this weekend\u003c/em\u003e—and he slinks off to his room, texting, I’m sure, his real thoughts and feelings to his lifeline of friends.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eJust as a wave peaks, then crashes, the drama of the event subsides over the next hours, running swiftly yet calmly up the shore. This is when inside I question myself, and begin the rumination over the details of the incident, trying desperately to find the key to what will change my son so we don’t have to do this again. It involves conversations with my husband—mostly me puking my thoughts and feelings on him—as well as time spent looking for counselors, diagnoses, medication, personal development programs and more. I am going to “fix” them, you see. I will show the world and that man sitting in the chair across from me at their schools that I \u003cem\u003eam\u003c/em\u003e a good mother. They \u003cem\u003eare\u003c/em\u003e good boys.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYears of this are beginning to take their toll on me and on them. I am spent. I am faced with what I know is true. I have two sons who are smart, funny, kind, thoughtful, emotional, creative, and strong-willed. While their personalities are so different, they share these traits. I am proud of the people they are and the men they are becoming. I raised them—intentionally and unintentionally—to question, even authority, to be different, to be passionate, and in doing so, to be messy. They are not on a straight and narrow path—they are on a divergent one, a bumpy and beautiful one of their own making.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn my heart, I knew this is what I wanted for those sweet little babies placed in my arms so many years ago, but I had no idea how difficult it would be for them to experience and for me to watch. I know my friends are facing the challenges of watching their kids go off into the world on their own as well, but I can’t help but feel that they have the reassurance of seeing down the road their son or daughter is on, even just a ways, while my son is standing in a jungle and I have no idea what is behind that next whack of his machete as he clears a path in front of him.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe days when they’ve gotten in trouble at school often end with dinner together, or sitting on the sofa watching T.V. and we find ourselves laughing at some You Tube video they are showing me, or they pull me in to listen to their latest guitar riff or drum solo. I see once again who they really are and I know in my heart I \u003cem\u003eam \u003c/em\u003ea good mom. They \u003cem\u003eare \u003c/em\u003egood boys. I valiantly try to let go of who I expected them to be, and desperately strive to embrace who they are and who they are becoming. It isn’t easy. But it is the work I am most proud of.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eI’ve lost sleep for many nights now, waking up in the middle of the night, worried about the future of my teenage sons. Over the years, they have both had challenges with school, sometimes alternately, sometimes simultaneously, adding numerous grey hairs under my “natural” brown hair. After the 16-year-old leaves for school and I drop the 14-year-old off at his, my day is spent looking in dread at the caller ID on the phone each time it rings. “Mrs. Keller? This is Mr. So and So at Such and Such school. Could you come pick up your son?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am THAT parent of THOSE kids. The ones that get in trouble. The ones who get sent to the principal’s office—something I spent my entire school career trying to avoid. And somehow, every time I get that call and make the long, anxious trip to school, then enter that office with my tail between my legs, I am suddenly 10 or 13 or 16 again and haven’t managed to avoid the principal’s office at all. I see the sad, sullen face of whichever boy of mine managed to make an impulsive, regrettable decision and I am distraught.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn that moment, I feel ashamed and heartbroken. Perhaps I should be angry, but all I can think of is how great this young man of mine is. I know his heart, his intent, and his remorse. They are not malicious, my sons. They are not bullies or druggies or vandals. Their infractions usually center around disrespect, or controlling their emotions. Somehow I have raised two kids with no tolerance for bullshit or ineptitude, for which I am proud, and yet I have failed to teach them how to contain their contempt and frustration. Perhaps we cannot teach our children what we fail to do ourselves.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs this man (always a man) charged with being school disciplinarian looks at me and articulates the wrongdoing of my offspring, thoughts swarm in my head. My heart races. When he finishes, his words hang heavy in the room as I hear the soft sniffles of my son, head hanging, nose dripping. This man is waiting for me to say something. To give him some explanation of my failing or my son’s, to get angry or defensive, or give him some clue about what great parenting technique I am going to employ to change my son’s behavior. Or better yet, what punishment I will dole out that will be painful enough that he will never sin again.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut I don’t know what to say that will fulfill this man’s need. Sitting there calmly, my demeanor belies the tempest inside me. I hear words fall lamely from my mouth to somehow convince him that I am a good mother, an effective parent. Really I am just trying to move through this as quickly as possible so that I can race my child in slow motion out of that office and into the car and the safety of our home. I want out from under this magnifying glass hovering over his behavior and my parenting. Truthfully, the safety is partially for him and mostly for me.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe car ride home is usually quiet at first. After a few minutes when I think I have collected myself, I begin to talk, to question him, but the tears always come. Tears of sadness for him and his situation. Tears of distress that I have somehow failed him. Tears of frustration that here we are, once again, neither one of us learning how to prevent a repeat performance of his poor judgment. He sits, quietly, knowing that this is the second part of the torture that is his punishment for his behavior—me trying to force him to talk about his thoughts and feelings.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUsually, eventually, he will toss some crumb to me of what is going on inside that head and heart of his. It will have to suffice, because the more I push, the more he steels against my prodding. Sometimes, there is some consequence doled out—\u003cem\u003eyou can’t use the car, you’re grounded this weekend\u003c/em\u003e—and he slinks off to his room, texting, I’m sure, his real thoughts and feelings to his lifeline of friends.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eJust as a wave peaks, then crashes, the drama of the event subsides over the next hours, running swiftly yet calmly up the shore. This is when inside I question myself, and begin the rumination over the details of the incident, trying desperately to find the key to what will change my son so we don’t have to do this again. It involves conversations with my husband—mostly me puking my thoughts and feelings on him—as well as time spent looking for counselors, diagnoses, medication, personal development programs and more. I am going to “fix” them, you see. I will show the world and that man sitting in the chair across from me at their schools that I \u003cem\u003eam\u003c/em\u003e a good mother. They \u003cem\u003eare\u003c/em\u003e good boys.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYears of this are beginning to take their toll on me and on them. I am spent. I am faced with what I know is true. I have two sons who are smart, funny, kind, thoughtful, emotional, creative, and strong-willed. While their personalities are so different, they share these traits. I am proud of the people they are and the men they are becoming. I raised them—intentionally and unintentionally—to question, even authority, to be different, to be passionate, and in doing so, to be messy. They are not on a straight and narrow path—they are on a divergent one, a bumpy and beautiful one of their own making.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn my heart, I knew this is what I wanted for those sweet little babies placed in my arms so many years ago, but I had no idea how difficult it would be for them to experience and for me to watch. I know my friends are facing the challenges of watching their kids go off into the world on their own as well, but I can’t help but feel that they have the reassurance of seeing down the road their son or daughter is on, even just a ways, while my son is standing in a jungle and I have no idea what is behind that next whack of his machete as he clears a path in front of him.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe days when they’ve gotten in trouble at school often end with dinner together, or sitting on the sofa watching T.V. and we find ourselves laughing at some You Tube video they are showing me, or they pull me in to listen to their latest guitar riff or drum solo. I see once again who they really are and I know in my heart I \u003cem\u003eam \u003c/em\u003ea good mom. They \u003cem\u003eare \u003c/em\u003egood boys. I valiantly try to let go of who I expected them to be, and desperately strive to embrace who they are and who they are becoming. It isn’t easy. But it is the work I am most proud of.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"Both heartbroken and proud"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/62823adb-6a4e-49a7-8b01-0fa556983981?resourceVersion=id%3A47"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"9d914896-27eb-4b90-b505-1ba0735f01d0","drupal_internal__tid":23,"drupal_internal__revision_id":23,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-26T15:14:53+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Dana Keller","description":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eDana is in the midst of parenting her two teenage sons. She and her husband, Jim, moved their family from Seattle to Scottsdale about five years ago. After almost 20 years of writing training programs, Dana is exploring other avenues of writing and public speaking.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"basic_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eDana is in the midst of parenting her two teenage sons. She and her husband, Jim, moved their family from Seattle to Scottsdale about five years ago. After almost 20 years of writing training programs, Dana is exploring other avenues of writing and public speaking.\u003c/p\u003e"},"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-26T15:14:53+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Dana Keller | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"description","content":"Dana is in the midst of parenting her two teenage sons. She and her husband, Jim, moved their family from Seattle to Scottsdale about five years ago. 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At first I thought it was one of my daughter’s beads, so I continued to sweep, not paying much attention to it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEventually whatever it was stood still, and I bent down and brushed it into the dustpan along with a Cheerio, several toast crumbs, and a dried-up grape that had almost turned into a raisin. The object settled into a corner of the dustpan. It was white, unusual for a jewelry bead from Anna’s colorful collection. I shook off the crumbs and held it up to the light. There was no hole through the middle—it wasn’t a bead at all.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor a long time I stared at the mysterious object between my thumb and forefinger as if it were from another planet. Perhaps it was candy? But the edges were clearly defined. It looked more like a pill, a little white pill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe had an assortment of medicines in the cupboard on the shelf above the spices. I took down a bottle of aspirin, opened the lid, and shook one tablet into the palm of my hand. Alongside the white pill, the aspirin was bigger, yet thinner. I compared the white pill with every painkiller and vitamin in the cupboard, but nothing was remotely similar.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI stood in a trance, trying to explain the pill’s appearance on my kitchen floor. No one in our family was taking prescription drugs. Could one of Anna’s friends have accidentally dropped her medication near the kitchen sink? I turned the pill over. It didn’t look like a prescription drug. There were no numbers on it, no markings, and no scoring.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe pill was so small and yet it scared me so much. What if my daughter was taking pills like these? It was no secret that Anna was trying to lose weight. She didn’t really need to; she looked the perfect weight to me. But being a typical sixteen-year-old girl, she’d been experimenting with one diet after another. Had she found some diet drug advertised on the Internet? Just last week a small brown box had come in the mail for her, and I had no idea what was inside. The pill’s surface was bumpy. It looked like a drug manufactured by a shady Internet company. Made under less-than-ideal conditions, its purity and potency would be questionable. Anna might not realize how dangerous a drug like this could be.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen I was in ninth grade, two older girls sat in the back seat of the bus I rode every day. They talked and laughed on the way to school and then on the entire way home. One of them, Beth, was overweight and sometimes the kids teased her. I never forgot the morning I climbed up the bus steps and she wasn’t there. Her friend was sitting alone and crying. “Did you hear?” someone asked me. “Beth took too many diet pills last night and died in her sleep!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy hand shook now and the little white pill shook with it. I abandoned the broom and dustpan, put the pill in a sandwich bag and drove to the pharmacy at the grocery store. While I stood in line, I clutched the sandwich bag so hard that my knuckles turned as white as the pill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA woman in a lab coat filled prescriptions for two people ahead of me. When I reached the window, she patiently listened to my story, then inspected the pill and frowned.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“I don’t know what it is,” she finally said. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe wrote down the telephone number for the local poison control center and handed me the slip of paper.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe word “poison” made me feel worse than I already did. I went home, picked up the phone and started to punch in the numbers. But before I finished, I set down the receiver. Whoever I talked to wouldn’t know what the pill was without seeing it. If I had to send it to a lab to be tested, it would take time to get the results.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI slowly walked down the hallway to Anna’s bedroom. Normally I respected her privacy, but today I had a search warrant. The pill bottle must still be around someplace. Maybe it was in her underwear drawer. From the label I’d learn exactly what the drug was.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI opened the door. Jeans and sweaters were draped over the desk chair. Schoolbooks, papers, and empty soda cans lay scattered on the floor. The bottle could be anywhere. I wouldn’t be able to find it without disrupting the room. Anna would hate me for going through her things, and if she were innocent, I’d hate myself for doing it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA school bus rumbled down our street, and my heart sped up. The front door slammed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Hi, Mom!” Anna called.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“How was your day, honey?” I let her get a glass of milk and a granola bar before confronting her.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Do you know what this is?” I asked, trying not to sound as though I were accusing her of a crime. I held up the sandwich bag, and she moved the pill closer to her blue eyes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“It looks like an Equal,” she said matter-of-factly.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“An Equal?” I repeated.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“You know—the artificial sweetener. It used to come in packets.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“This is an Equal?” I didn’t use the sugar substitute myself, but I bought it for my husband, right in the very store where I’d talked to the pharmacist.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Did you think I was taking drugs?” Anna asked, laughing.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“I didn’t know what to think,” I said.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Equal container lay on the kitchen counter near the coffee maker. I put one of the tablets from the container side by side with the one in my sandwich bag, and sure enough, they were the same size, shape and color. When my husband came home from work, he said he’d lost an Equal in the kitchen the day before.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI lay awake in bed that night and vowed that from then on I would give my daughter the benefit of the doubt instead of jumping to conclusions. Never again would I let my imagination take over. But as I drifted off to sleep, something kept nagging at me.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat, then, was in the little brown box that came in the mail last week?\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eSomething hit my broom and rolled around on the kitchen floor, ricocheting off the baseboards like a marble in a pinball game. At first I thought it was one of my daughter’s beads, so I continued to sweep, not paying much attention to it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEventually whatever it was stood still, and I bent down and brushed it into the dustpan along with a Cheerio, several toast crumbs, and a dried-up grape that had almost turned into a raisin. The object settled into a corner of the dustpan. It was white, unusual for a jewelry bead from Anna’s colorful collection. I shook off the crumbs and held it up to the light. There was no hole through the middle—it wasn’t a bead at all.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor a long time I stared at the mysterious object between my thumb and forefinger as if it were from another planet. Perhaps it was candy? But the edges were clearly defined. It looked more like a pill, a little white pill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe had an assortment of medicines in the cupboard on the shelf above the spices. I took down a bottle of aspirin, opened the lid, and shook one tablet into the palm of my hand. Alongside the white pill, the aspirin was bigger, yet thinner. I compared the white pill with every painkiller and vitamin in the cupboard, but nothing was remotely similar.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI stood in a trance, trying to explain the pill’s appearance on my kitchen floor. No one in our family was taking prescription drugs. Could one of Anna’s friends have accidentally dropped her medication near the kitchen sink? I turned the pill over. It didn’t look like a prescription drug. There were no numbers on it, no markings, and no scoring.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe pill was so small and yet it scared me so much. What if my daughter was taking pills like these? It was no secret that Anna was trying to lose weight. She didn’t really need to; she looked the perfect weight to me. But being a typical sixteen-year-old girl, she’d been experimenting with one diet after another. Had she found some diet drug advertised on the Internet? Just last week a small brown box had come in the mail for her, and I had no idea what was inside. The pill’s surface was bumpy. It looked like a drug manufactured by a shady Internet company. Made under less-than-ideal conditions, its purity and potency would be questionable. Anna might not realize how dangerous a drug like this could be.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen I was in ninth grade, two older girls sat in the back seat of the bus I rode every day. They talked and laughed on the way to school and then on the entire way home. One of them, Beth, was overweight and sometimes the kids teased her. I never forgot the morning I climbed up the bus steps and she wasn’t there. Her friend was sitting alone and crying. “Did you hear?” someone asked me. “Beth took too many diet pills last night and died in her sleep!”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy hand shook now and the little white pill shook with it. I abandoned the broom and dustpan, put the pill in a sandwich bag and drove to the pharmacy at the grocery store. While I stood in line, I clutched the sandwich bag so hard that my knuckles turned as white as the pill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA woman in a lab coat filled prescriptions for two people ahead of me. When I reached the window, she patiently listened to my story, then inspected the pill and frowned.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“I don’t know what it is,” she finally said. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe wrote down the telephone number for the local poison control center and handed me the slip of paper.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe word “poison” made me feel worse than I already did. I went home, picked up the phone and started to punch in the numbers. But before I finished, I set down the receiver. Whoever I talked to wouldn’t know what the pill was without seeing it. If I had to send it to a lab to be tested, it would take time to get the results.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI slowly walked down the hallway to Anna’s bedroom. Normally I respected her privacy, but today I had a search warrant. The pill bottle must still be around someplace. Maybe it was in her underwear drawer. From the label I’d learn exactly what the drug was.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI opened the door. Jeans and sweaters were draped over the desk chair. Schoolbooks, papers, and empty soda cans lay scattered on the floor. The bottle could be anywhere. I wouldn’t be able to find it without disrupting the room. Anna would hate me for going through her things, and if she were innocent, I’d hate myself for doing it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA school bus rumbled down our street, and my heart sped up. The front door slammed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Hi, Mom!” Anna called.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“How was your day, honey?” I let her get a glass of milk and a granola bar before confronting her.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Do you know what this is?” I asked, trying not to sound as though I were accusing her of a crime. I held up the sandwich bag, and she moved the pill closer to her blue eyes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“It looks like an Equal,” she said matter-of-factly.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“An Equal?” I repeated.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“You know—the artificial sweetener. It used to come in packets.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“This is an Equal?” I didn’t use the sugar substitute myself, but I bought it for my husband, right in the very store where I’d talked to the pharmacist.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Did you think I was taking drugs?” Anna asked, laughing.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“I didn’t know what to think,” I said.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Equal container lay on the kitchen counter near the coffee maker. I put one of the tablets from the container side by side with the one in my sandwich bag, and sure enough, they were the same size, shape and color. When my husband came home from work, he said he’d lost an Equal in the kitchen the day before.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI lay awake in bed that night and vowed that from then on I would give my daughter the benefit of the doubt instead of jumping to conclusions. Never again would I let my imagination take over. But as I drifted off to sleep, something kept nagging at me.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat, then, was in the little brown box that came in the mail last week?\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"Was my daughter doing drugs?"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/7f1d3a1c-071d-4f17-808f-9ec6c7926dde?resourceVersion=id%3A46"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"58c6edec-7f32-4f1d-b461-3b631fb9860b","drupal_internal__tid":22,"drupal_internal__revision_id":22,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-25T21:47:22+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Mary Laufer","description":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eMary Laufer is a freelance writer living in Oregon. Her work has appeared in Cicada, Chicken Soup for the Girl's Soul, and What I Learned in My Bathtub.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"basic_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eMary Laufer is a freelance writer living in Oregon. Her work has appeared in Cicada, Chicken Soup for the Girl's Soul, and What I Learned in My Bathtub.\u003c/p\u003e"},"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-25T21:47:22+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Mary Laufer | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"description","content":"Mary Laufer is a freelance writer living in Oregon. 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Or, “That’s what I said.” This from my neighbor, who patted the head of her third child, a newborn, and laughed at me.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“No. We’re really done,” arching my eyebrows on the world “really” for emphasis.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt this point, my inquisitor responded with a drawn-out, “oh,” so I knew she got it. My husband and I are finished having children. Officially. In the medical sense.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe had offered years ago to have a vasectomy whenever we decided that X number of offspring was enough. He’s a practical guy and had heard the common wisdom that vasectomies are an easier procedure, and less intrusive, than tubal ligation is for women. That and the fact that I had spent the better part of my twenties on the pill. When it came to messing around with fertility, I’d done my time.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere were other reasons to stop. We had a boy. We had a girl. They seemed to get along. The amount of children in our household did not outnumber the adults. Why mess around with a good thing?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStill, my husband dragged his heals, putting off the phone call to his PCP. After all, the penis is hallowed ground. This was clear in the way both our female and male friends reacted when the topic of vasectomies came up.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne friend said she was surprised when her husband offered to have it done. “You’d do that for us?” she’d said to him, as if he were giving her an unexpectedly generous gift.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen another friend learned what my husband was about to do, she said, “Oh, he’s got to talk to Jim.” As if our husbands were dominoes, all standing in line, just waiting for the first one to fall.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMen who’d had it done stoically assured us that the procedure was no big deal, a weekend of discomfort. Those who couldn't believe someone they actually knew was going to “get snipped”.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe appointment was made. My husband seemed relieved after his consultation with the urologist. He reported back, explaining the details of the half-hour procedure. Basically, the doctor pulls a small piece of the vas deferens -- the tube that delivers sperm from testicle to prostate – through an incision in the scrotum. A segment is removed. The doctor cauterizes the ends, just to be sure, and pushes them back in.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was proud of my man. I bragged to my girlfriends whenever the subject of pregnancy came up. “Two is our limit and we’re making it permanent,” I’d say gleefully.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe day of the procedure, I dropped the kids off with a friend. My husband, a car-buff, actually let me drive him to the doctor’s office.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“You can change your mind if you want to,” I said on the way.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, all game-face. It was hard for me to imagine what kind of pain or embarrassment he was picturing for himself. Could it be any worse than having an episiotomy?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere was another couple at the doctor’s office while I waited. They’d brought their two children in a double stroller. The wife echoed my words, “You can still change your mind.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHalf an hour later he walked slowly out of the office, ice pack in hand. We explained to the kids that there was to be no bouncing on Daddy, climbing on Daddy or wrestling with Daddy for a few days. I dropped Daddy off at home and tucked him into bed with a prescription painkiller, then went to get the kids.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe next day I kept the children out of his hair. Still, he seemed on edge. After I put the kids to bed that night, I asked why.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“It’s the end of an era,” my husband sighed. This was a shocker. As I said, he’s a practical guy, analytical but rarely emotional.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Are you sorry you did it?” I asked. I’d been almost giddy through his whole ordeal. After being home with the children for several years, I was starting to see that the older they become the more I can find pockets of time for myself. The vasectomy meant no more babies. No more babies meant we could move forward, doing more as a family and as individuals.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“No. I’m not sorry,” he said. “I don’t want any more kids. I just feel a little sad. That part of our lives is over.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI leaned against him, trying to show some empathy. He felt like a part of his life had been cut away. For me, the snip was like a ribbon cutting ceremony, launching my renewed freedom.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThen I got my period. Could have been the PMS, but I started feeling weepy. The rational side of me knew I did not want more children. But PMS is not rational and it wasn’t another child I was pining for. It was the promise of the body, the potential to grow a baby.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSuddenly, I understood what my husband had been talking about. He was right. This was the end of an era in our lives.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eThe instant my kids lost their baby pudge friends thought it was high time to ask, “Are you having more?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“We’re done.” Me shaking head.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Never say never,” was the answer. Or, “That’s what I said.” This from my neighbor, who patted the head of her third child, a newborn, and laughed at me.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“No. We’re really done,” arching my eyebrows on the world “really” for emphasis.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt this point, my inquisitor responded with a drawn-out, “oh,” so I knew she got it. My husband and I are finished having children. Officially. In the medical sense.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe had offered years ago to have a vasectomy whenever we decided that X number of offspring was enough. He’s a practical guy and had heard the common wisdom that vasectomies are an easier procedure, and less intrusive, than tubal ligation is for women. That and the fact that I had spent the better part of my twenties on the pill. When it came to messing around with fertility, I’d done my time.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere were other reasons to stop. We had a boy. We had a girl. They seemed to get along. The amount of children in our household did not outnumber the adults. Why mess around with a good thing?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStill, my husband dragged his heals, putting off the phone call to his PCP. After all, the penis is hallowed ground. This was clear in the way both our female and male friends reacted when the topic of vasectomies came up.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne friend said she was surprised when her husband offered to have it done. “You’d do that for us?” she’d said to him, as if he were giving her an unexpectedly generous gift.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen another friend learned what my husband was about to do, she said, “Oh, he’s got to talk to Jim.” As if our husbands were dominoes, all standing in line, just waiting for the first one to fall.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMen who’d had it done stoically assured us that the procedure was no big deal, a weekend of discomfort. Those who couldn't believe someone they actually knew was going to “get snipped”.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe appointment was made. My husband seemed relieved after his consultation with the urologist. He reported back, explaining the details of the half-hour procedure. Basically, the doctor pulls a small piece of the vas deferens -- the tube that delivers sperm from testicle to prostate – through an incision in the scrotum. A segment is removed. The doctor cauterizes the ends, just to be sure, and pushes them back in.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was proud of my man. I bragged to my girlfriends whenever the subject of pregnancy came up. “Two is our limit and we’re making it permanent,” I’d say gleefully.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe day of the procedure, I dropped the kids off with a friend. My husband, a car-buff, actually let me drive him to the doctor’s office.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“You can change your mind if you want to,” I said on the way.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, all game-face. It was hard for me to imagine what kind of pain or embarrassment he was picturing for himself. Could it be any worse than having an episiotomy?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere was another couple at the doctor’s office while I waited. They’d brought their two children in a double stroller. The wife echoed my words, “You can still change your mind.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHalf an hour later he walked slowly out of the office, ice pack in hand. We explained to the kids that there was to be no bouncing on Daddy, climbing on Daddy or wrestling with Daddy for a few days. I dropped Daddy off at home and tucked him into bed with a prescription painkiller, then went to get the kids.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe next day I kept the children out of his hair. Still, he seemed on edge. After I put the kids to bed that night, I asked why.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“It’s the end of an era,” my husband sighed. This was a shocker. As I said, he’s a practical guy, analytical but rarely emotional.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Are you sorry you did it?” I asked. I’d been almost giddy through his whole ordeal. After being home with the children for several years, I was starting to see that the older they become the more I can find pockets of time for myself. The vasectomy meant no more babies. No more babies meant we could move forward, doing more as a family and as individuals.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“No. I’m not sorry,” he said. “I don’t want any more kids. I just feel a little sad. That part of our lives is over.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI leaned against him, trying to show some empathy. He felt like a part of his life had been cut away. For me, the snip was like a ribbon cutting ceremony, launching my renewed freedom.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThen I got my period. Could have been the PMS, but I started feeling weepy. The rational side of me knew I did not want more children. But PMS is not rational and it wasn’t another child I was pining for. It was the promise of the body, the potential to grow a baby.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSuddenly, I understood what my husband had been talking about. He was right. This was the end of an era in our lives.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"My husband's post vasectomy sadness surprised me"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/50fe8bc8-543a-4fc5-a0a9-c3eac4064b53?resourceVersion=id%3A49"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"2874aa9a-392c-42ac-bcdb-e83148ae7345","drupal_internal__tid":26,"drupal_internal__revision_id":26,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-26T22:54:35+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Laura Shovan","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-26T22:54:35+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Laura Shovan | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/26"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/2874aa9a-392c-42ac-bcdb-e83148ae7345?resourceVersion=id%3A26"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":26},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"c4a0d494-e402-438d-b393-66c4287d9561","drupal_internal__fid":27,"langcode":"en","filename":"iStock_000001780289Small1.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/iStock_000001780289Small1.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/iStock_000001780289Small1.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":141785,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-26T22:58:26+00:00","changed":"2023-09-26T22:58:40+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/iStock_000001780289Small1.jpg?itok=yYq0eVz_","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/iStock_000001780289Small1.jpg?itok=691GKwLJ","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/c4a0d494-e402-438d-b393-66c4287d9561"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"scissors snipping ribbon","title":"","width":849,"height":565,"drupal_internal__target_id":27},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"1fed53b4-477b-44b1-b109-8da22c1f4233","title":"Yes, my kid is retarded","created":"2015-07-01T21:21:38+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/my-kid-is-retarded","pid":50,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eGo ahead. Call my kid retarded. I don’t mind.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo, that’s not a challenge, \u003cem\u003ego ahead call my kid retarded I DARE YOU\u003c/em\u003e. (And then WHAM! Off with your head!) It’s not a trick. It’s not. Really. It’s … an invitation.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRetarded.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe say that word while conjuring thoughts of kids who drool a little, their slack jaws a symbol of the blank minds we imagine inside. The short bus. Special ed. Less than. Not as good as. Not, um, normal.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut what is it really? Retarded.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSlow. Slower.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy dictionary says that “retard” is a verb meaning to hold back or delay in terms of progress or accomplishment. (It also says it’s an noun, and says it’s an offensive one at that, but we’ll get to that.)\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo now I look at my kid. My son, Eric. My retarded son. He’s five. Five-and-a-half. He wears a diaper except when he takes it off to poop on the floor. He drinks a teaspoon of water at a time from an open cup because if you put any more than that in the cup he’ll spill it all down his front and then laugh at the result. He can’t run. He can’t jump. 90% of the time he’s completely unintelligible and the other 10% we guess at the sounds. Is he like any other five-and-a-half year old I’ve known? No. He’s retarded.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEric sure has a good time. I am convinced he could do more if he wanted to. But he doesn’t want to. He \u003cem\u003elikes\u003c/em\u003e being, you know, the “R” word. He’s totally working it, using it to his advantage. That thought dawned on me once, about a year ago — I had the sense, suddenly, that he knew everything I was saying and he was \u003cem\u003echoosing\u003c/em\u003e to look at me uncomprehendingly, blankly, unspeaking, unresponsive. As soon as I had that thought he ran off, shrieking with delight (well, grunting; he doesn’t shriek) and I chased him, finally wrestling him down to the floor.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe was smiling. A game.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Eric!” I demanded. “Do you understand more than you let on? Could you talk more if you wanted to?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe looked at me for a moment. Really saw me, saw into me, the way he did when he was an infant and I wore him next to my heart before he could walk, when he spoke to me without words and told me not to be frightened, that this Down syndrome thing was okay, and that he’d be okay. That I’d be okay. We were in a bubble, me kneeling over him lying on the floor, looking up at me, suspended together for a moment in space and time. I could see into his infinite wisdom and understanding, the all-knowingness we each have when we drop the illusions we carry about ourselves and one another. He smiled again, gently this time.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Yes.” He said the word clearly, and nodded as well for good measure. I let him up and he got to his feet and walked back into his world.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt tore me up for the longest time, knowing he could do more. I had made it my job to help him get there, \u003cem\u003eand he didn’t want it.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo what’s good about retarded?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePeople drop their expectations about you. (No one expects Eric to go to college.) He can do what he wants, and someone will always care for him. He’ll always have enough to eat, and beyond eating his needs are few. He can entertain himself with almost anything (the toilet, for instance). A pile of rocks would do.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s also about being present. Slow is beautiful. Slow invites us to be in the moment, to enjoy what we have \u003cem\u003eright now\u003c/em\u003e. How many of us can say that? I know I’d like more slowness in my life.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRetarded. It’s not a bad gig.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSure, other people see him differently. Not now, but they will. Classmates, maybe. People who don’t know him. Right now it’s cute when a five-and-a-half year old wants to hug you, but that’s because he’s not much more than three feet tall. Give him a couple more feet in height and the hormones that will inevitably come with age and he’ll be scaring people, or at least making them uncomfortable. People who’ll then use the word “retarded” as a shield instead of as an invitation.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRetarded. Right now it doesn’t hurt him but it might one day. I’ll worry about that then, though. For now I think Eric can take care of himself.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eGo ahead. Call my kid retarded. I don’t mind.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo, that’s not a challenge, \u003cem\u003ego ahead call my kid retarded I DARE YOU\u003c/em\u003e. (And then WHAM! Off with your head!) It’s not a trick. It’s not. Really. It’s … an invitation.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRetarded.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe say that word while conjuring thoughts of kids who drool a little, their slack jaws a symbol of the blank minds we imagine inside. The short bus. Special ed. Less than. Not as good as. Not, um, normal.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut what is it really? Retarded.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSlow. Slower.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy dictionary says that “retard” is a verb meaning to hold back or delay in terms of progress or accomplishment. (It also says it’s an noun, and says it’s an offensive one at that, but we’ll get to that.)\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo now I look at my kid. My son, Eric. My retarded son. He’s five. Five-and-a-half. He wears a diaper except when he takes it off to poop on the floor. He drinks a teaspoon of water at a time from an open cup because if you put any more than that in the cup he’ll spill it all down his front and then laugh at the result. He can’t run. He can’t jump. 90% of the time he’s completely unintelligible and the other 10% we guess at the sounds. Is he like any other five-and-a-half year old I’ve known? No. He’s retarded.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEric sure has a good time. I am convinced he could do more if he wanted to. But he doesn’t want to. He \u003cem\u003elikes\u003c/em\u003e being, you know, the “R” word. He’s totally working it, using it to his advantage. That thought dawned on me once, about a year ago — I had the sense, suddenly, that he knew everything I was saying and he was \u003cem\u003echoosing\u003c/em\u003e to look at me uncomprehendingly, blankly, unspeaking, unresponsive. As soon as I had that thought he ran off, shrieking with delight (well, grunting; he doesn’t shriek) and I chased him, finally wrestling him down to the floor.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe was smiling. A game.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Eric!” I demanded. “Do you understand more than you let on? Could you talk more if you wanted to?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe looked at me for a moment. Really saw me, saw into me, the way he did when he was an infant and I wore him next to my heart before he could walk, when he spoke to me without words and told me not to be frightened, that this Down syndrome thing was okay, and that he’d be okay. That I’d be okay. We were in a bubble, me kneeling over him lying on the floor, looking up at me, suspended together for a moment in space and time. I could see into his infinite wisdom and understanding, the all-knowingness we each have when we drop the illusions we carry about ourselves and one another. He smiled again, gently this time.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Yes.” He said the word clearly, and nodded as well for good measure. I let him up and he got to his feet and walked back into his world.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt tore me up for the longest time, knowing he could do more. I had made it my job to help him get there, \u003cem\u003eand he didn’t want it.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo what’s good about retarded?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePeople drop their expectations about you. (No one expects Eric to go to college.) He can do what he wants, and someone will always care for him. He’ll always have enough to eat, and beyond eating his needs are few. He can entertain himself with almost anything (the toilet, for instance). A pile of rocks would do.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s also about being present. Slow is beautiful. Slow invites us to be in the moment, to enjoy what we have \u003cem\u003eright now\u003c/em\u003e. How many of us can say that? I know I’d like more slowness in my life.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRetarded. It’s not a bad gig.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSure, other people see him differently. Not now, but they will. Classmates, maybe. People who don’t know him. Right now it’s cute when a five-and-a-half year old wants to hug you, but that’s because he’s not much more than three feet tall. Give him a couple more feet in height and the hormones that will inevitably come with age and he’ll be scaring people, or at least making them uncomfortable. People who’ll then use the word “retarded” as a shield instead of as an invitation.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRetarded. Right now it doesn’t hurt him but it might one day. I’ll worry about that then, though. For now I think Eric can take care of himself.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"Life with a Down Syndrome child"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/1fed53b4-477b-44b1-b109-8da22c1f4233?resourceVersion=id%3A61"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"f3cbfd2a-7cb4-41ce-b620-193a721c69dd","drupal_internal__tid":38,"drupal_internal__revision_id":38,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-10-19T21:41:37+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Karen Murphy","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-10-19T21:41:37+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Karen Murphy | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/38"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/f3cbfd2a-7cb4-41ce-b620-193a721c69dd?resourceVersion=id%3A38"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":38},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"a9977887-b4f2-4295-8070-6c39c58a9ce3","drupal_internal__fid":36,"langcode":"en","filename":"canstockphoto27306890.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-10/canstockphoto27306890.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-10/canstockphoto27306890.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":125900,"status":true,"created":"2023-10-19T21:22:15+00:00","changed":"2023-10-19T21:40:31+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-10/canstockphoto27306890.jpg?itok=OjuYfjtw","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-10/canstockphoto27306890.jpg?itok=mV9NEa7k","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/a9977887-b4f2-4295-8070-6c39c58a9ce3"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"child walking","title":"","width":800,"height":618,"drupal_internal__target_id":36},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"f3183646-02d8-4bbf-850b-6331a7fedd92","title":"The day my kids found my vibrator","created":"2015-07-01T17:23:45+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/the-day-my-kids-found-my-vibrator","pid":21,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eMuch of motherhood flies by in a blur, while other things stand out as pure joy, extreme fear, or intense pride. Or, in my case, absolute mortification.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe day of “the incident', I was sailing through the task of mothering two little boys and thinking things were going very well. They were happily occupied playing in their room and I was actually getting things done. I guess things were going too well. After almost four years, I should have known better.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI also should have gotten a lock box. But that comes later.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eParenting Tip #1: When they’re quiet, there’s trouble.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy husband and I were in the living room reading when my older son, Adam, entered. Being wise – not really – I had spaced my children close together. They are the best of friends. Because of this, my younger son, Drew, entered right behind his brother.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow Adam has always been bright and mature, and sometimes his tone reminds me of a voice from my past. My mother, in my teen years.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI realized suddenly that he was glaring at me, with his hand hidden behind him.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“What’s wrong?” I asked, setting aside my novel and segueing into concerned mother mode. His hand whipped from behind his back.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Momma, what extactly is dis.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Yeah, ma,” his little brother echoed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOh. My. God! I think my eyes rolled back in my head. Actually, I’m surprised I didn’t faint. If ever there was a time, this was it. How on earth did I explain? I had never even admitted to anyone that I had one of those.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs my husband -- who had bought the “dis” by the way -- choked with laughter next to me, I realized that my son held my pink, anatomically correct vibrator in his chubby little hand. His other hand on his hip, he stared at me, waiting for an answer. His brother struck a similar pose. Where is it written that the children get to gang up on their mother?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat they received as an answer was a particularly un-motherly shriek, and a “Give that to me!” That’s when my brain finally clicked back into gear. This wasn’t exactly something I left laying around. The last time I’d seen it, it was tucked safely in the back of my drawer under a pile of underwear. Once I’d put it back there, I returned to the living room and cornered my sons.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“What were you doing in my dresser?” I demanded. I’d told them often to stay out of my bedroom, a directive they patently ignored. I never expected them to go through the dresser drawers.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eParenting Tip #2: Always expect the unexpected.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAdam blinked up at me, full of innocence. “I was lost.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI think I developed a twitch right about then. It reappears frequently – usually in conjunction with my older son.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAdam received a time out while I wished for valium. Triple strength. His brother went back to his room to play after I’d ferreted out that he was an innocent bystander in the mommy humiliation project. As soon as Adam was released from time out, he asked, “Momma, can I play wid your handcuffs?\u0026nbsp; Why you hab dem anyway?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid I mention the water I was drinking and the fountain that resulted? He giggled maniacally, thinking I was just being funny, and begged me to do it again. I shooed him off to play, with the admonition to stay out of my bedroom.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI sank into my chair, my head in my hand. Visions of Adam performing the same “What is this?” stunt in front of company haunted me. What if he brought it up at my mother’s? At least he didn’t know what \"dis\" was called. I added a lock box to my shopping list.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNothing more was said about “the incident\". I fell back into a state of mommy-bliss. It would take a few more occasions for me to learn mommy-bliss is a dangerous place. Thankfully, none of the subsequent occurrences involved the pink, anatomically correct vibrator or any similar device.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcept for one. Did I mention that it was anatomically correct? Perhaps not. So in case you missed it, it was anatomically correct.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFast forward to a few days after the first “incident\". By now, I was hoping maybe Adam wouldn’t remember his foray into my dresser, that maybe he wouldn’t drag out my personal items in front of guests, and that maybe he wouldn’t be scarred for life. Lord knows, I would be.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWas it too soon for the birds and the bees talk? It was definitely too soon for the sex toy talk. Is there a sex toy talk? I can tell you, at this point, it’s a discussion I hope to never have.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnyway, as I was dusting, I could hear my dear sons downstairs in the family room. As background, they had on a mommy-screened, child-friendly video. Only they weren’t watching it. Adam had decided to take the sex talk thing into his own hands. While I began to see black spots before my eyes, he talked earnestly to his younger brother.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“It’s not right to cut off penises and keep them in your drawer. . .”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe twitch was back.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eMuch of motherhood flies by in a blur, while other things stand out as pure joy, extreme fear, or intense pride. Or, in my case, absolute mortification.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe day of “the incident', I was sailing through the task of mothering two little boys and thinking things were going very well. They were happily occupied playing in their room and I was actually getting things done. I guess things were going too well. After almost four years, I should have known better.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI also should have gotten a lock box. But that comes later.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eParenting Tip #1: When they’re quiet, there’s trouble.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy husband and I were in the living room reading when my older son, Adam, entered. Being wise – not really – I had spaced my children close together. They are the best of friends. Because of this, my younger son, Drew, entered right behind his brother.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow Adam has always been bright and mature, and sometimes his tone reminds me of a voice from my past. My mother, in my teen years.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI realized suddenly that he was glaring at me, with his hand hidden behind him.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“What’s wrong?” I asked, setting aside my novel and segueing into concerned mother mode. His hand whipped from behind his back.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Momma, what extactly is dis.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Yeah, ma,” his little brother echoed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOh. My. God! I think my eyes rolled back in my head. Actually, I’m surprised I didn’t faint. If ever there was a time, this was it. How on earth did I explain? I had never even admitted to anyone that I had one of those.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs my husband -- who had bought the “dis” by the way -- choked with laughter next to me, I realized that my son held my pink, anatomically correct vibrator in his chubby little hand. His other hand on his hip, he stared at me, waiting for an answer. His brother struck a similar pose. Where is it written that the children get to gang up on their mother?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat they received as an answer was a particularly un-motherly shriek, and a “Give that to me!” That’s when my brain finally clicked back into gear. This wasn’t exactly something I left laying around. The last time I’d seen it, it was tucked safely in the back of my drawer under a pile of underwear. Once I’d put it back there, I returned to the living room and cornered my sons.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“What were you doing in my dresser?” I demanded. I’d told them often to stay out of my bedroom, a directive they patently ignored. I never expected them to go through the dresser drawers.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eParenting Tip #2: Always expect the unexpected.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAdam blinked up at me, full of innocence. “I was lost.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI think I developed a twitch right about then. It reappears frequently – usually in conjunction with my older son.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAdam received a time out while I wished for valium. Triple strength. His brother went back to his room to play after I’d ferreted out that he was an innocent bystander in the mommy humiliation project. As soon as Adam was released from time out, he asked, “Momma, can I play wid your handcuffs?  Why you hab dem anyway?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid I mention the water I was drinking and the fountain that resulted? He giggled maniacally, thinking I was just being funny, and begged me to do it again. I shooed him off to play, with the admonition to stay out of my bedroom.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI sank into my chair, my head in my hand. Visions of Adam performing the same “What is this?” stunt in front of company haunted me. What if he brought it up at my mother’s? At least he didn’t know what \"dis\" was called. I added a lock box to my shopping list.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNothing more was said about “the incident\". I fell back into a state of mommy-bliss. It would take a few more occasions for me to learn mommy-bliss is a dangerous place. Thankfully, none of the subsequent occurrences involved the pink, anatomically correct vibrator or any similar device.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcept for one. Did I mention that it was anatomically correct? Perhaps not. So in case you missed it, it was anatomically correct.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFast forward to a few days after the first “incident\". By now, I was hoping maybe Adam wouldn’t remember his foray into my dresser, that maybe he wouldn’t drag out my personal items in front of guests, and that maybe he wouldn’t be scarred for life. Lord knows, I would be.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWas it too soon for the birds and the bees talk? It was definitely too soon for the sex toy talk. Is there a sex toy talk? I can tell you, at this point, it’s a discussion I hope to never have.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnyway, as I was dusting, I could hear my dear sons downstairs in the family room. As background, they had on a mommy-screened, child-friendly video. Only they weren’t watching it. Adam had decided to take the sex talk thing into his own hands. While I began to see black spots before my eyes, he talked earnestly to his younger brother.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“It’s not right to cut off penises and keep them in your drawer. . .”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe twitch was back.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/f3183646-02d8-4bbf-850b-6331a7fedd92?resourceVersion=id%3A36"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"768188e5-19df-45d5-a822-507b4fd8944e","drupal_internal__tid":12,"drupal_internal__revision_id":12,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-06T17:23:39+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Michele Hickerty","description":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eMichele Hickerty has always loved the written word. She completed her first novel her sophomore year of high school. After taking a break, she began writing romantic fiction after her children were born. Married fourteen years to a wonderful man and blessed with two sons, Michele writes to control the over abundance of testosterone in her life. She's failed miserably. Thankfully, she also writes because she loves it.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"basic_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eMichele Hickerty has always loved the written word. She completed her first novel her sophomore year of high school. After taking a break, she began writing romantic fiction after her children were born. Married fourteen years to a wonderful man and blessed with two sons, Michele writes to control the over abundance of testosterone in her life. She's failed miserably. 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This is my daughter. This is Rachel.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI always wanted to be a mom. Before we married, my husband and I agreed we wanted a family. My blindness is not hereditary, so I was surprised by some of the reactions to my first pregnancy. Old friends and relatives, who had known me as an independent, self-reliant blind person, expressed concern.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI heard questions such as, “Will it be worth the hard work?” or “Are you sure you can handle it?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe one that stung the most was, “Is it fair to saddle a child with a ‘handicapped’ parent?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI had done a lot of soul searching, had spoken with other blind parents and decided my answer was a resounding “yes.” I realized there would be tough times ahead, but I knew there would be rewarding moments, as well.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOur son, Eric, was born when Rachel was five. This was a large age gap, but more than anyone, I knew my limitations. I did not want the simultaneous responsibility of an infant and an active toddler.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePeople asked, “How can a blind person take care of a tiny baby?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy answer was always the same.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“The tiny baby part is easy. When you leave them some place they’re still there when you get back.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI made accommodations as a mother. I used common sense. As toddlers my children wore bells on their shoes, so I could hear them. I was always careful to keep doors and gates locked. Articles that could hurt them were put away. My other senses worked overtime. I could never let down my guard.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen Eric and Rachel were older and had activities to attend, I discovered what I still consider to be the biggest hurdle for a blind parent—the ever-present transportation problem. My husband worked long hours, so transporting our kids to and from their activities during the week was my responsibility. Did my kids miss out on some activities they wanted to attend? Of course they did, but so do most children. I managed with the aid of buses, taxis and kind friends and neighbors. Rachel and Eric learned that walking somewhere never hurt anyone. Basketball, baseball, gymnastics, ballet, scouts and high school marching band became a huge part of my life.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWere there scary moments when safety was a factor? Of course there were, as there are for any parent. One afternoon, when Rachel was nine months old, I heard her choking. I began to panic, but my “mother’s instinct” took over. I remembered “the finger sweep” from an old CPR class and dislodged a small piece of a sponge mop from her throat.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen Eric was three months old, I took him into his room to change his diaper. I still don’t know why, but I hesitated at the changing table. Call it instinct, mother’s intuition or a guardian angel, but a voice inside advised me to put my hand on the table before I laid him down. I felt what I thought was a spider. I flung it hard against the wall and hoped I had killed it. Since I am terrified of spiders, I gathered all the supplies Eric might need for the rest of the afternoon and closed the door to his room. I had to wait three hours before my husband arrived home. He discovered a black widow spider weaving a web in the corner above Eric’s crib. Even today my insides turn over to think what may have happened if I had laid my infant son on that table.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTwo of the most frightening incidents occurred when Eric was in the care of other people. When he was three, he slipped out the front door and wandered away to the elementary school a few blocks from our home. The two sighted adults in charge were seated near the front door and never saw him leave.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt the age of ten, while visiting a friend, the parents allowed the boys to ride bikes on a street I considered too dangerous. Eric lost control of the brakes and spent the next three weeks in traction, followed by six weeks in a body cast.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow that Rachel and Eric are grown, they enjoy sharing anecdotes with others about their experiences. People often mistakenly believe that because they had a blind mom they got away with a great deal. Rachel’s favorite story always makes me smile.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Don’t you stick your tongue out at me,” I reprimanded my five-year-old.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“How did you know, Mommy?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI didn’t fill her in on my secret until years later.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“It was a lucky guess,” I admitted. “I heard the wet sound saliva sometimes makes when a person sticks out their tongue.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“I was convinced you had some kind of magical powers,” Rachel laughed, when I revealed the truth. “I don’t think I ever stuck my tongue out at you again unless your back was turned.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe thing my husband and I stressed with our children above all else, was honesty. They were taught not to take advantage of my blindness with important matters. When Eric was in high school, I inadvertently gave him a twenty dollar bill instead of a one. Since he was honest about it, I let him keep the money. We always rewarded their honesty and it paid off.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnother thing my children often hear is, “Doesn’t it make you sad that your mom has never seen you?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy children and I say that I have seen them. Any parent who loves, cares for and tends to their child’s needs, knows what their child looks like.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy children learned at a young age that their mom “sees” differently from other people. I read “Twin Vision” books to them. These special books have Braille on one side with print on the facing page, so parent and child can read together. Illustrations have Brailled captions so the blind parent knows what their child is seeing. One day when she was two, Rachel brought me the TV Guide. She asked me what the picture was and rubbed my hand across the page.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEven as adults they “show” me things in this same manner. They grab my hand, say “check it out, Mom” and encourage me to feel their latest hair style. Eric also “showed” me his full beard in this manner.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat mistakes have I made with my children? I know now my biggest mistake came from my own insecurities. People often said, “Your children must be so much more responsible because they have to do so many extra things to help out at home.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWrong! I was determined my children would not have extra responsibilities. As a result, I raised two children who did very few chores around the house. I did them a disservice. They both left home with a lazy streak.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRachel told me recently, as a junior in high school, she had trouble staying awake in math class due to late night phone conversations with her boyfriend. When her teacher reprimanded her, she told him she had a blind mom and had to stay up late helping around the house. We all had a good laugh at that one.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll parents have obstacles we and our children must overcome. Despite inevitable parental mistakes, most children thrive when raised with an abundance of love and good values. Eric and Rachel matured into honest, kind people. They are college graduates working in good professions.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRachel has told me in recent years she sometimes uses me as an inspiration. “When I think something is going to be too hard for me to do, I think about some of the things you’ve done, Mom, and it helps me get through.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow, if someone asks me if it was worth all the hard work, I can say without a doubt, “Absolutely… every single second.”\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eWhen the squirming, screaming bundle was laid on my chest, my heart swelled with a love I never imagined. This is my daughter. This is Rachel.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI always wanted to be a mom. Before we married, my husband and I agreed we wanted a family. My blindness is not hereditary, so I was surprised by some of the reactions to my first pregnancy. Old friends and relatives, who had known me as an independent, self-reliant blind person, expressed concern.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI heard questions such as, “Will it be worth the hard work?” or “Are you sure you can handle it?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe one that stung the most was, “Is it fair to saddle a child with a ‘handicapped’ parent?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI had done a lot of soul searching, had spoken with other blind parents and decided my answer was a resounding “yes.” I realized there would be tough times ahead, but I knew there would be rewarding moments, as well.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOur son, Eric, was born when Rachel was five. This was a large age gap, but more than anyone, I knew my limitations. I did not want the simultaneous responsibility of an infant and an active toddler.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePeople asked, “How can a blind person take care of a tiny baby?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy answer was always the same.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“The tiny baby part is easy. When you leave them some place they’re still there when you get back.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI made accommodations as a mother. I used common sense. As toddlers my children wore bells on their shoes, so I could hear them. I was always careful to keep doors and gates locked. Articles that could hurt them were put away. My other senses worked overtime. I could never let down my guard.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen Eric and Rachel were older and had activities to attend, I discovered what I still consider to be the biggest hurdle for a blind parent—the ever-present transportation problem. My husband worked long hours, so transporting our kids to and from their activities during the week was my responsibility. Did my kids miss out on some activities they wanted to attend? Of course they did, but so do most children. I managed with the aid of buses, taxis and kind friends and neighbors. Rachel and Eric learned that walking somewhere never hurt anyone. Basketball, baseball, gymnastics, ballet, scouts and high school marching band became a huge part of my life.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWere there scary moments when safety was a factor? Of course there were, as there are for any parent. One afternoon, when Rachel was nine months old, I heard her choking. I began to panic, but my “mother’s instinct” took over. I remembered “the finger sweep” from an old CPR class and dislodged a small piece of a sponge mop from her throat.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen Eric was three months old, I took him into his room to change his diaper. I still don’t know why, but I hesitated at the changing table. Call it instinct, mother’s intuition or a guardian angel, but a voice inside advised me to put my hand on the table before I laid him down. I felt what I thought was a spider. I flung it hard against the wall and hoped I had killed it. Since I am terrified of spiders, I gathered all the supplies Eric might need for the rest of the afternoon and closed the door to his room. I had to wait three hours before my husband arrived home. He discovered a black widow spider weaving a web in the corner above Eric’s crib. Even today my insides turn over to think what may have happened if I had laid my infant son on that table.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTwo of the most frightening incidents occurred when Eric was in the care of other people. When he was three, he slipped out the front door and wandered away to the elementary school a few blocks from our home. The two sighted adults in charge were seated near the front door and never saw him leave.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt the age of ten, while visiting a friend, the parents allowed the boys to ride bikes on a street I considered too dangerous. Eric lost control of the brakes and spent the next three weeks in traction, followed by six weeks in a body cast.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow that Rachel and Eric are grown, they enjoy sharing anecdotes with others about their experiences. People often mistakenly believe that because they had a blind mom they got away with a great deal. Rachel’s favorite story always makes me smile.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Don’t you stick your tongue out at me,” I reprimanded my five-year-old.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“How did you know, Mommy?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI didn’t fill her in on my secret until years later.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“It was a lucky guess,” I admitted. “I heard the wet sound saliva sometimes makes when a person sticks out their tongue.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“I was convinced you had some kind of magical powers,” Rachel laughed, when I revealed the truth. “I don’t think I ever stuck my tongue out at you again unless your back was turned.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe thing my husband and I stressed with our children above all else, was honesty. They were taught not to take advantage of my blindness with important matters. When Eric was in high school, I inadvertently gave him a twenty dollar bill instead of a one. Since he was honest about it, I let him keep the money. We always rewarded their honesty and it paid off.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnother thing my children often hear is, “Doesn’t it make you sad that your mom has never seen you?”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy children and I say that I have seen them. Any parent who loves, cares for and tends to their child’s needs, knows what their child looks like.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy children learned at a young age that their mom “sees” differently from other people. I read “Twin Vision” books to them. These special books have Braille on one side with print on the facing page, so parent and child can read together. Illustrations have Brailled captions so the blind parent knows what their child is seeing. One day when she was two, Rachel brought me the TV Guide. She asked me what the picture was and rubbed my hand across the page.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEven as adults they “show” me things in this same manner. They grab my hand, say “check it out, Mom” and encourage me to feel their latest hair style. Eric also “showed” me his full beard in this manner.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat mistakes have I made with my children? I know now my biggest mistake came from my own insecurities. People often said, “Your children must be so much more responsible because they have to do so many extra things to help out at home.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWrong! I was determined my children would not have extra responsibilities. As a result, I raised two children who did very few chores around the house. I did them a disservice. They both left home with a lazy streak.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRachel told me recently, as a junior in high school, she had trouble staying awake in math class due to late night phone conversations with her boyfriend. When her teacher reprimanded her, she told him she had a blind mom and had to stay up late helping around the house. We all had a good laugh at that one.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll parents have obstacles we and our children must overcome. Despite inevitable parental mistakes, most children thrive when raised with an abundance of love and good values. Eric and Rachel matured into honest, kind people. They are college graduates working in good professions.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRachel has told me in recent years she sometimes uses me as an inspiration. “When I think something is going to be too hard for me to do, I think about some of the things you’ve done, Mom, and it helps me get through.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow, if someone asks me if it was worth all the hard work, I can say without a doubt, “Absolutely… every single second.”\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"Raising children as a blind mom wasn't as difficult as people think"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/23732a4d-6cdc-43be-98c8-48fe5bd05ae3?resourceVersion=id%3A68"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"a951e427-baa8-4831-a738-8427f8bb9066","drupal_internal__fid":41,"langcode":"en","filename":"brail.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-11/brail.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-11/brail.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":49052,"status":true,"created":"2023-11-23T17:20:16+00:00","changed":"2023-11-23T17:23:27+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-11/brail.jpg?itok=3C9TDUYW","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-11/brail.jpg?itok=0utdL6Ck","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/a951e427-baa8-4831-a738-8427f8bb9066"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"close up of brail on page","title":"","width":600,"height":480,"drupal_internal__target_id":41},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"46fbe35d-9875-4f91-be89-e8ba820a83a4","title":"When my boys found a frog, I knew its death was imminent","created":"2015-06-27T14:59:24+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/boys-kill-frog","pid":40,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eWith boys, it is inevitable that on any given day, your house will become a museum for the many life forms that have been captured. I have tried to implement the rule that unless pre-approved, no creature is allowed into the sanctuary of our house. Of course, I unfortunately left the loophole that outside the house was fine.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWith that being said and knowing the inner workings of a boy’s mind -- which revolve around gaming systems, taking things apart, and the ever important, can we create a trap to capture something -- one fine summer day we received a new addition to our family.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs the boys were scouring the yard for any live being, a humble frog made a very bad decision. Trying to escape the insane laughter of my three boys, this tiny frog jumped left instead of right and went into the twelve-year-old's hand. This is a choice the frog began to immediately regret. As all the boys gathered around to admire the child’s conquest, I knew this was not going to end well.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMuch like the beginning of a good horror novel, the stage was set for the unnatural demise of the frog. As I watched the boys, “play” with the frog, my unease increased.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFirst of all, they named him French Fry. I am not sure why and hope it is not because one of them decided to see what he tasted like, something I would not put past them. The ten-year-old in the group became very attached to this tiny creature and was alarmed at the fact that French Fry was being tossed in the air. I am certain that the poor frog believed that he had indeed jumped right into Hell. The outcome was not difficult to predict -- French Fry ended his brief life with a very unhealthy smacking sound as he hit the patio going frog-warp-speed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChaos then ensued. One boy blamed the other, there were tears and yelling and then the eventual calm as they all joined forces to plan the best funeral ever. I take some comfort in the fact that at least my children have respect for the tradition of honoring the dead. The youngest child even sacrificed a sock in order for our friend to have a comfortable resting place. Later it was discovered that this was one of his only good socks and he argued courageously about the importance of giving it up. The service was held with somber words of sadness. A cross was made and placed over the tiny hole and flowers were left as a remembrance.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI lectured and discussed the importance of being kind and felt some hope that I had reached my grubby sons, but then reality set in. Two days later, the remains of French Fry were exhumed. The boys wanted to see what happens and were delighted to share the details of their exciting anatomy discoveries. I tried to explain how inappropriate this was to my little ghouls, but their looks of puzzlement assured me this would not be the last time this occurred.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll of these events have left me with some fear that all of the victims of my son’s curiosity will walk the earth once again. They will come in search of their severed limbs, wanting to seek justice on their tormentors, and the idea of this has sent me to pursue ways to keep us safe. I have done my research, watched the classic movies, read the books and have discovered we are doomed. I am getting myself a large fly swatter, several cans of bug spray, and bottles of holy water just in case. Better safe than sorry.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eWith boys, it is inevitable that on any given day, your house will become a museum for the many life forms that have been captured. I have tried to implement the rule that unless pre-approved, no creature is allowed into the sanctuary of our house. Of course, I unfortunately left the loophole that outside the house was fine.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWith that being said and knowing the inner workings of a boy’s mind -- which revolve around gaming systems, taking things apart, and the ever important, can we create a trap to capture something -- one fine summer day we received a new addition to our family.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs the boys were scouring the yard for any live being, a humble frog made a very bad decision. Trying to escape the insane laughter of my three boys, this tiny frog jumped left instead of right and went into the twelve-year-old's hand. This is a choice the frog began to immediately regret. As all the boys gathered around to admire the child’s conquest, I knew this was not going to end well.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMuch like the beginning of a good horror novel, the stage was set for the unnatural demise of the frog. As I watched the boys, “play” with the frog, my unease increased.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFirst of all, they named him French Fry. I am not sure why and hope it is not because one of them decided to see what he tasted like, something I would not put past them. The ten-year-old in the group became very attached to this tiny creature and was alarmed at the fact that French Fry was being tossed in the air. I am certain that the poor frog believed that he had indeed jumped right into Hell. The outcome was not difficult to predict -- French Fry ended his brief life with a very unhealthy smacking sound as he hit the patio going frog-warp-speed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChaos then ensued. One boy blamed the other, there were tears and yelling and then the eventual calm as they all joined forces to plan the best funeral ever. I take some comfort in the fact that at least my children have respect for the tradition of honoring the dead. The youngest child even sacrificed a sock in order for our friend to have a comfortable resting place. Later it was discovered that this was one of his only good socks and he argued courageously about the importance of giving it up. The service was held with somber words of sadness. A cross was made and placed over the tiny hole and flowers were left as a remembrance.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI lectured and discussed the importance of being kind and felt some hope that I had reached my grubby sons, but then reality set in. Two days later, the remains of French Fry were exhumed. The boys wanted to see what happens and were delighted to share the details of their exciting anatomy discoveries. I tried to explain how inappropriate this was to my little ghouls, but their looks of puzzlement assured me this would not be the last time this occurred.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll of these events have left me with some fear that all of the victims of my son’s curiosity will walk the earth once again. They will come in search of their severed limbs, wanting to seek justice on their tormentors, and the idea of this has sent me to pursue ways to keep us safe. I have done my research, watched the classic movies, read the books and have discovered we are doomed. I am getting myself a large fly swatter, several cans of bug spray, and bottles of holy water just in case. Better safe than sorry.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"RIP: A frog named French Fry"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/46fbe35d-9875-4f91-be89-e8ba820a83a4?resourceVersion=id%3A51"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"76817317-d11d-4fa5-bf61-c839efd171b2","drupal_internal__tid":28,"drupal_internal__revision_id":28,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-27T14:58:34+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Kelly Miller","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-27T14:58:34+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Kelly Miller | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/28"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/76817317-d11d-4fa5-bf61-c839efd171b2?resourceVersion=id%3A28"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":28},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"707f3441-7ea8-463d-a654-44b25bb8bed4","drupal_internal__fid":29,"langcode":"en","filename":"frogfrenchfry.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/frogfrenchfry.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/frogfrenchfry.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":33460,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-27T15:43:58+00:00","changed":"2023-09-27T15:44:09+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/frogfrenchfry.jpg?itok=7yGVohad","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/frogfrenchfry.jpg?itok=Nc4329_y","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/707f3441-7ea8-463d-a654-44b25bb8bed4"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Closeup photo of frog","title":"","width":600,"height":432,"drupal_internal__target_id":29},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"1017c5fa-4e55-4894-acec-62bd1f0da4ea","title":"Did having kids ruin my life?","created":"2015-06-25T20:54:11+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/feeling-i-ruined-my-life-by-having-kids","pid":15,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eThere is a water stain on the ceiling above my bed, created one night when the roof decided to leak. I stare at it often, early in the morning, when the only thing stirring is my mind. While the sun is rekindled from blackened ash, thoughts of escape creep into my head. It is the color of my morning coffee – café’ au latte’ – sweet with cream. And it is driving me mad.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis stain, this black mark upon my dawn, has become an omen. How else could it haunt me so?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSomehow, whether a fluke of nature or the twisted device of the Gods, this puddle of water dried into the shape of the contiguous United States.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis stain is there to remind me, morning after morning, that I am going nowhere. Not to the next state, not across the country, and certainly not around the world as I once dreamed. I am stuck in this muddy rut of my life with no vehicle of motion in sight. Somehow, while I wasn’t paying attention, I became a rusted-out jalopy, with wires hanging from my undercarriage and two flat tires. Obviously, I am going nowhere.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen I was a child, I dreamt of far off, exotic places. Ancient temples, pavilions, and cathedrals were my destiny. I would walk along the Roman Aqueducts. I would spit from the Eiffel Tower. I would stare at the same churches that Monet painted ad nauseam. I was going places. I was so sure of my future back then. Life was going to be one big, never-ending discovery. I was hopeful and excited.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd now, I spend my days circling the wagons about the camp, trying to keep my two children from doing harm to one another, while changing out the laundry and fighting the constant derivation of dirty dishes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis watermark has shown me my limitations in life. It shows me just how far that I will never go. It is darker around Texas, my birthplace. I haven’t been there since I was an infant, and realistically, I will never go back. My ceiling holds no Europe, no Far East, no island archipelago. Distant lands are so far out of reach for me that they are not even on my freak-of-nature map.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI glare above me, wiping my bleary eyes, while dreaming of places close by, but still out of my limited reach. New York, where life is vibrant and mobile. Louisiana, where the bayou nestles each looming, moss-draped plantation. Wyoming, where horses gallop into the pastel horizon. There are places I long to witness with my own fallible eyes, to capture the moments that no camera can.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI dream of little towns, sprinkled across the country. Places just like the Eastern Shore where I have lived most of my life. Given my meager existence, I’d like to think that it is possible for some other woman, trapped by the circumstances of her life and cursed by a leaky roof, to look up at her stained ceiling in cadence with me each and every morning. Maybe she misplaced her dreams as well. Or better yet, maybe she lost them and then found them again. I need to talk to that woman.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat comforts me, to know that I am not alone in longing for what I will never have. It has to be possible, it just has to. I can’t be the only woman in America, the Land of the Free, to feel jailed by her responsibilities.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot to say that I regret having a family. I suppose sacrificing my life, the life that I once yearned to have, is but a small down payment on the possibilities of my children’s futures. I am the one that suffers for the good of the masses. My son could develop a cure for cancer. My daughter might bring about world peace. My children may impact the world as we know it in a very large and positive way.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe the whole Equal Rights movement has duped women in a major way. In gaining equality for all, we were led to believe that we could, in fact, have it all. Women’s Lib gave us the right to dream big, but the reality of motherhood does not allow for the fruition of those dreams.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA woman may become a groundbreaking archeologist unearthing treasures in Egypt, but a dutiful mother may not. A woman may find a cure for cancer in some ant-built dung heap in Africa, but what mother would drag her children to the perilous plains? A woman could become the next Shakespeare, penning literary gold that will be read for generations to come – but not as long as she’s birthin’ babies and chasin’ rugrats.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWomen now have the right to vote, attend prestigious schools, and shatter the glass ceiling – if they are willing to forego motherhood, or at least postpone it. A woman can be anything that she wants to, but most of what she wants is not compatible with having small children underfoot.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn my mind, we are no better off than the women of Jacob who wove textiles, nursed babes and dreamt of the illusive golden palace where servants would attend to their every whim. In thousands of years, women have gotten nowhere.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo what is the difference between today’s women and the Jacobite women? They knew not to waste time longing for the unattainable, their roles in society were well defined and thus, abided by. Whereas, we do our motherly duties begrudgingly and stare at the water-stained images emblazoned on the ceiling at the start of each day, trying to decide whether it is acceptable to want more than what we already have.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe only solace seems to be this: I accept my lot in life and immerse myself in its daily tasks. After a full day of mothering the children and the house, I am too tired to covet a life that I don’t have. I fall asleep abruptly and without dreams, for there is no room for dreams here.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe night will pass quickly, and I will be fine – until I awake in the morning to face my watermarked reverie. Thankfully, my gaze then falls to an angel baby, fast asleep in her bassinet. She is real. She is my heart. And she is definitely within my reach. I just pray that she, along with my rambunctious son, will be enough to quiet the tumultuous waters of desire.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey have to be.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eThere is a water stain on the ceiling above my bed, created one night when the roof decided to leak. I stare at it often, early in the morning, when the only thing stirring is my mind. While the sun is rekindled from blackened ash, thoughts of escape creep into my head. It is the color of my morning coffee – café’ au latte’ – sweet with cream. And it is driving me mad.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis stain, this black mark upon my dawn, has become an omen. How else could it haunt me so?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSomehow, whether a fluke of nature or the twisted device of the Gods, this puddle of water dried into the shape of the contiguous United States.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis stain is there to remind me, morning after morning, that I am going nowhere. Not to the next state, not across the country, and certainly not around the world as I once dreamed. I am stuck in this muddy rut of my life with no vehicle of motion in sight. Somehow, while I wasn’t paying attention, I became a rusted-out jalopy, with wires hanging from my undercarriage and two flat tires. Obviously, I am going nowhere.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen I was a child, I dreamt of far off, exotic places. Ancient temples, pavilions, and cathedrals were my destiny. I would walk along the Roman Aqueducts. I would spit from the Eiffel Tower. I would stare at the same churches that Monet painted ad nauseam. I was going places. I was so sure of my future back then. Life was going to be one big, never-ending discovery. I was hopeful and excited.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd now, I spend my days circling the wagons about the camp, trying to keep my two children from doing harm to one another, while changing out the laundry and fighting the constant derivation of dirty dishes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis watermark has shown me my limitations in life. It shows me just how far that I will never go. It is darker around Texas, my birthplace. I haven’t been there since I was an infant, and realistically, I will never go back. My ceiling holds no Europe, no Far East, no island archipelago. Distant lands are so far out of reach for me that they are not even on my freak-of-nature map.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI glare above me, wiping my bleary eyes, while dreaming of places close by, but still out of my limited reach. New York, where life is vibrant and mobile. Louisiana, where the bayou nestles each looming, moss-draped plantation. Wyoming, where horses gallop into the pastel horizon. There are places I long to witness with my own fallible eyes, to capture the moments that no camera can.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI dream of little towns, sprinkled across the country. Places just like the Eastern Shore where I have lived most of my life. Given my meager existence, I’d like to think that it is possible for some other woman, trapped by the circumstances of her life and cursed by a leaky roof, to look up at her stained ceiling in cadence with me each and every morning. Maybe she misplaced her dreams as well. Or better yet, maybe she lost them and then found them again. I need to talk to that woman.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat comforts me, to know that I am not alone in longing for what I will never have. It has to be possible, it just has to. I can’t be the only woman in America, the Land of the Free, to feel jailed by her responsibilities.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot to say that I regret having a family. I suppose sacrificing my life, the life that I once yearned to have, is but a small down payment on the possibilities of my children’s futures. I am the one that suffers for the good of the masses. My son could develop a cure for cancer. My daughter might bring about world peace. My children may impact the world as we know it in a very large and positive way.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe the whole Equal Rights movement has duped women in a major way. In gaining equality for all, we were led to believe that we could, in fact, have it all. Women’s Lib gave us the right to dream big, but the reality of motherhood does not allow for the fruition of those dreams.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA woman may become a groundbreaking archeologist unearthing treasures in Egypt, but a dutiful mother may not. A woman may find a cure for cancer in some ant-built dung heap in Africa, but what mother would drag her children to the perilous plains? A woman could become the next Shakespeare, penning literary gold that will be read for generations to come – but not as long as she’s birthin’ babies and chasin’ rugrats.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWomen now have the right to vote, attend prestigious schools, and shatter the glass ceiling – if they are willing to forego motherhood, or at least postpone it. A woman can be anything that she wants to, but most of what she wants is not compatible with having small children underfoot.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn my mind, we are no better off than the women of Jacob who wove textiles, nursed babes and dreamt of the illusive golden palace where servants would attend to their every whim. In thousands of years, women have gotten nowhere.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo what is the difference between today’s women and the Jacobite women? They knew not to waste time longing for the unattainable, their roles in society were well defined and thus, abided by. Whereas, we do our motherly duties begrudgingly and stare at the water-stained images emblazoned on the ceiling at the start of each day, trying to decide whether it is acceptable to want more than what we already have.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe only solace seems to be this: I accept my lot in life and immerse myself in its daily tasks. After a full day of mothering the children and the house, I am too tired to covet a life that I don’t have. I fall asleep abruptly and without dreams, for there is no room for dreams here.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe night will pass quickly, and I will be fine – until I awake in the morning to face my watermarked reverie. Thankfully, my gaze then falls to an angel baby, fast asleep in her bassinet. She is real. She is my heart. And she is definitely within my reach. I just pray that she, along with my rambunctious son, will be enough to quiet the tumultuous waters of desire.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey have to be.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/1017c5fa-4e55-4894-acec-62bd1f0da4ea?resourceVersion=id%3A73"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"436ebab7-fa1f-4c36-b6c6-6978ecb8856d","drupal_internal__tid":7,"drupal_internal__revision_id":7,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-03T20:51:28+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Karen Pruitt Fowler","description":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eKaren Pruitt Fowler is an artist, writer and mother of toddlers, making her way through life on Virginia's scenic Eastern Shore. Her book reviews have appeared on \u003cem\u003eCurled Up With a Good Book\u003c/em\u003e and elsewhere online, Karen's columns, articles and reviews have appeared on \u003cem\u003eAbsolute Write\u003c/em\u003e, \u003cem\u003eThe Writer's Gazette\u003c/em\u003e, \u003cem\u003eThe Writer's Room Magazine\u003c/em\u003e, \u003cem\u003eBaby Cafe\u003c/em\u003e, and the \u003cem\u003eAnimal News Center\u003c/em\u003e. In print, her work has appeared in \u003cem\u003eThe Eastern Shore News\u003c/em\u003e, \u003cem\u003eThe Eastern Shore Post\u003c/em\u003e, and \u003cem\u003eThe Virginian-Pilot\u003c/em\u003e. Her fiction has appeared in small genre presses, and was also published in 2005 in \u003cem\u003eTrue Confessions Magazine\u003c/em\u003e (proving, or course, that not all the \"confessions\" are true!).\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eKaren Pruitt Fowler is an artist, writer and mother of toddlers, making her way through life on Virginia's scenic Eastern Shore. Her book reviews have appeared on \u003cem\u003eCurled Up With a Good Book\u003c/em\u003e and elsewhere online, Karen's columns, articles and reviews have appeared on \u003cem\u003eAbsolute Write\u003c/em\u003e, \u003cem\u003eThe Writer's Gazette\u003c/em\u003e, \u003cem\u003eThe Writer's Room Magazine\u003c/em\u003e, \u003cem\u003eBaby Cafe\u003c/em\u003e, and the \u003cem\u003eAnimal News Center\u003c/em\u003e. In print, her work has appeared in \u003cem\u003eThe Eastern Shore News\u003c/em\u003e, \u003cem\u003eThe Eastern Shore Post\u003c/em\u003e, and \u003cem\u003eThe Virginian-Pilot\u003c/em\u003e. Her fiction has appeared in small genre presses, and was also published in 2005 in \u003cem\u003eTrue Confessions Magazine\u003c/em\u003e (proving, or course, that not all the \"confessions\" are true!).\u003c/p\u003e"},"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-03T21:09:04+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Karen Pruitt Fowler | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"description","content":"Karen Pruitt Fowler is an artist, writer and mother of toddlers, making her way through life on Virginia's scenic Eastern Shore. Her book reviews have appeared on Curled Up With a Good Book and elsewhere online, Karen's columns, articles and reviews have appeared on Absolute Write, The Writer's Gazette, The Writer's Room Magazine, Baby Cafe, and the Animal News Center. In print, her work has appeared in The Eastern Shore News, The Eastern Shore Post, and The Virginian-Pilot. Her fiction has appeared in small genre presses, and was also published in 2005 in True Confessions Magazine (proving, or course, that not all the \"confessions\" are true!)."}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/7"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/436ebab7-fa1f-4c36-b6c6-6978ecb8856d?resourceVersion=id%3A7"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":7},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"8afa93fd-5450-4604-9c76-6fc76726b5e1","drupal_internal__fid":7,"langcode":"en","filename":"canstockphoto2892543.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/canstockphoto2892543.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/canstockphoto2892543.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":45719,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-03T20:58:15+00:00","changed":"2023-09-03T20:58:30+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/canstockphoto2892543.jpg?itok=2daIMZgD","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/canstockphoto2892543.jpg?itok=bb0j8CNX","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/8afa93fd-5450-4604-9c76-6fc76726b5e1"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Depressed woman in corner","title":"","width":800,"height":445,"drupal_internal__target_id":7},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"dbd2991c-6ae3-4172-8db5-b1c24e070375","title":"Forgotten: My Daughter Is Mentally Ill","created":"2015-06-22T15:52:07+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/forgotten-mental-illness","pid":53,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eKamryn’s raging. It’s another day on the forefront of battle—a quest for my child’s soul. Hatred spews forth from her mouth, an eruption of unbridled anger. Her screams are deafening, so disturbing that our dogs flee for cover at the slightest elevation of her voice. Her anger is inconsolable and unrelenting, an endless cycle of torment and tears—pain’s treasures. You see, my daughter is mentally ill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI stand quietly in the kitchen, a silent observer to her tirade, a string of commands flowing through my head: make sure she doesn’t hurt herself, is there anything near that she can break, stay calm and don’t respond. I am a veteran of this war, having logged time against her weaponry for years. I know her cycles, I play her twisted games; I stand against a barrage of assaults, protecting my husband and younger daughter. No medals hang from my chest, a hero’s celebration never will surpass. I am simply a mother, a keeper, a witness to the unyielding force of disease.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHello, my name is Janna, and my daughter is mentally ill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt seems so foolish to utter those words, brandishing them in defiance; the scar of an old wound that refuses to heal. I am unashamed of my child; she is a creation of love. However, I cannot help but feel defensive, for I have faced the scrutiny of others. A cold glance in a store from others as they watch Kamryn writhe on the floor in protest over not getting the toy she wanted. Whispered barbs from patrons who sit at a restaurant and watch my daughter display her affection for food with groans of delight. Perhaps such overt actions would not bother the mother of a two-year-old, for such conduct is reasonable for the maturity level of a toddler; my daughter is twelve. I have watched the steady demise of my child over the past six years, a slow progression into the malignant abyss.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHer eyes were not always dulled to the illumination of joy. The smile that once parted her face with laughter now grimaces in contempt. The tiny child who clasped my hand in hers, gazing into life with wonderment, now refuses my touch, sickened by contact with any living soul. My heart aches for her return. My eyes close to the memories of the child placed in my embrace on angel’s wings, a flutter of breath against my breast as she inhaled the deliciousness of existence, a velvet sigh drenched in content, tomorrow’s possibilities poised upon her lips—gone.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI retreat to my thoughts of yesterday, shelter from the madness, and remember my child. Gone are the days of hope, replaced with the cruelty of mental illness. My daughter gone, I am left to endure the tragedy of her existence, loving her from afar.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe diagnosis came as no surprise, for we had been coping with her abnormalities for over two years. The therapist attempted to coat the revelation in psychoanalytical jargon, surrounding the devastation with clinical severity. She sat poised behind her desk, a barrier between her world of benignity and ours. We had divulged the secrets of our shameful existence to this stranger, souls trapped in Hell seeking communion in the holy realm of psychiatry. She offered us forgiveness of our parental sin, the humility attached to being the parent of a mentally ill child.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDo not deny the revulsion felt at the sight of a filthy, half-clothed man shuffling down the side of the road, mumbling incoherencies to the voices in his head. Clutch your bag closer to you as you pass, pull your child closer to your side, wonder why such an abomination of humanity is allowed to roam the streets unsupervised, assaulting society with their shocking malformed mind. Remember this man by who you are repulsed, this caricature of insanity, is human at heart, a living being of flesh and bone born to parents who perhaps loved and cherished him, showered him with affection and praise; then the darkness came, creeping slowly into the corners of his thoughts, consuming his soul with shadows of lunacy, until one day he was gone, his family devastated by the loss of his soul.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI love my daughter, as does my husband, yet there are times when the strain of coping with her illness is more than we can bear. In the blanket of darkness, I submit to my shame, flowing images of my life before her wash over me, satiating my appetite for normalcy; then reality takes hold, and I remember my daughter, innocent in her existence, and I am racked with guilt and grief. Despite what is laid before us, I will never leave her side.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt times it feels as though Kamryn has become a personification of her illnesses, a stereotype assigned by a culture biased against the mentally ill. Kamy suffers from bipolar disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome, a developmental disability that falls along the Autism spectrum. She is also plagued with debilitating anxiety. The symptoms of her illnesses range from incidental to the extreme.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEvery day for us is the same, repetition of actions that sooth her need for consistency. People assume that I am raising Rain Man, for our culture is so fixated upon that which is presented in popular culture and the media as the truth. My daughter is not a character in a story, but an individual who suffers from illnesses that consume her thoughts and chase away her dreams. Her brain chemistry is so convoluted that only the strongest psychotropic medications can quell the fires of madness that seek to consume her. Kamryn is violent and aggressive, physically abusive to both her sister and father. She hears voices and noises that are not real and witnesses visions of transparency. Each day, Kamy is reminded that she is not suffering from the myriad of maladies from which she believes she is suffering, ranging from brain tumors to scarlet fever. She has been deemed so severely ill that she receives Social Security income and Medicaid at the sagacious age of twelve. We live with the constant reminder of our loss, witnessing each day the consumption of our child.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis story is not meant to invoke pity; no telethon or organized walk will bring back my daughter’s light. I tell my tale for the forgotten, those families who fight in the trenches alongside mine. We are the lepers of modern society, a secret sect of the damned—parents of the mentally ill. The American culture lives in fear of mental illness, hiding the evidence of its existence. We live in a reactive society, poised to respond in the event that harm is done or a crime committed. I have been told countless times that ultimately my daughter will end up either committed, incarcerated, or dead. We are told that there is no hope for an individual such as herself, that she is destined for failure; therefore, any programs of intervention are nonexistent barring an incredible amount of wealth that can buy her way into a swank halfway house or residential treatment center.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy daughter is not significant in the eyes of her community because of her illnesses. If she was plagued by leukemia or diabetes, people would flock to champion her cause, but her disease is intangible, a spectral force that others fear. I say these words not to take away the suffering of parents whose children must endure physical illness, but because those parents of the mentally ill deserve the same amount of attention and support as well. We desire more than the anesthetizing of our children with medicinal concoctions. We want more for their lives than an existence behind bars or confined to windowless walls. We fear their death to suicide, alcoholism, or drug overdose; we envision their victimization at the hands of predators, tantalized by their smell of vulnerability. Our voices fall silent at the feet of our communities. We weep in isolation, support nowhere to be found.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe number of families that suffer in silence is shocking, confined to obscurity’s seclusion by the authoritative arm of ignorance. Informational systems are clogged with callous diagnostic books and journals, yet the utterances of the ill and their families are lost. Now and again, a story of a mentally ill person committing horrific crimes will surface in the media, further solidifying societies vision, yet never is a headline run on the success of an individual who suffers from schizophrenia opening an art show or a bipolar adolescent being accepted into Harvard. It is not that these occurrences are not possible, but the stories are never heard for such a display of positivity would directly contrast the assigned stigma attached to the mentally ill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy daughter will never recover from her diseased mind. We have come to terms with the notion of our altered life. The chances that she achieves prosperity in her future are small, partially because of her illnesses, but also because of the insurmountable odds placed before her by those who do not even know her name. My daughter is fated to become a statistic, a number in the records of regulatory agencies that dole out her income because they have labeled her as unable to function in life. She is a diagnosis to the psychiatric profession, a subject to be studied and experimented upon, running her through the maze of existence to determine how she responds. My daughter is an atrocity, a mar on the pristine image of the American culture.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe is my child, my spirit, my love, my joy. Kamryn is bright, artistic, witty, and quirky. She is exactly as God intended, flawed in her perfection. I will never cease in my pursuit of her dreams, for although she is not capable on attaining her goals alone, the magnitude of her possibility is immense with her family’s support and care.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRemember the child, radiant in her blithe; an image of divinity—she exists within.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eKamryn’s raging. It’s another day on the forefront of battle—a quest for my child’s soul. Hatred spews forth from her mouth, an eruption of unbridled anger. Her screams are deafening, so disturbing that our dogs flee for cover at the slightest elevation of her voice. Her anger is inconsolable and unrelenting, an endless cycle of torment and tears—pain’s treasures. You see, my daughter is mentally ill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI stand quietly in the kitchen, a silent observer to her tirade, a string of commands flowing through my head: make sure she doesn’t hurt herself, is there anything near that she can break, stay calm and don’t respond. I am a veteran of this war, having logged time against her weaponry for years. I know her cycles, I play her twisted games; I stand against a barrage of assaults, protecting my husband and younger daughter. No medals hang from my chest, a hero’s celebration never will surpass. I am simply a mother, a keeper, a witness to the unyielding force of disease.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHello, my name is Janna, and my daughter is mentally ill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt seems so foolish to utter those words, brandishing them in defiance; the scar of an old wound that refuses to heal. I am unashamed of my child; she is a creation of love. However, I cannot help but feel defensive, for I have faced the scrutiny of others. A cold glance in a store from others as they watch Kamryn writhe on the floor in protest over not getting the toy she wanted. Whispered barbs from patrons who sit at a restaurant and watch my daughter display her affection for food with groans of delight. Perhaps such overt actions would not bother the mother of a two-year-old, for such conduct is reasonable for the maturity level of a toddler; my daughter is twelve. I have watched the steady demise of my child over the past six years, a slow progression into the malignant abyss.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHer eyes were not always dulled to the illumination of joy. The smile that once parted her face with laughter now grimaces in contempt. The tiny child who clasped my hand in hers, gazing into life with wonderment, now refuses my touch, sickened by contact with any living soul. My heart aches for her return. My eyes close to the memories of the child placed in my embrace on angel’s wings, a flutter of breath against my breast as she inhaled the deliciousness of existence, a velvet sigh drenched in content, tomorrow’s possibilities poised upon her lips—gone.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI retreat to my thoughts of yesterday, shelter from the madness, and remember my child. Gone are the days of hope, replaced with the cruelty of mental illness. My daughter gone, I am left to endure the tragedy of her existence, loving her from afar.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe diagnosis came as no surprise, for we had been coping with her abnormalities for over two years. The therapist attempted to coat the revelation in psychoanalytical jargon, surrounding the devastation with clinical severity. She sat poised behind her desk, a barrier between her world of benignity and ours. We had divulged the secrets of our shameful existence to this stranger, souls trapped in Hell seeking communion in the holy realm of psychiatry. She offered us forgiveness of our parental sin, the humility attached to being the parent of a mentally ill child.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDo not deny the revulsion felt at the sight of a filthy, half-clothed man shuffling down the side of the road, mumbling incoherencies to the voices in his head. Clutch your bag closer to you as you pass, pull your child closer to your side, wonder why such an abomination of humanity is allowed to roam the streets unsupervised, assaulting society with their shocking malformed mind. Remember this man by who you are repulsed, this caricature of insanity, is human at heart, a living being of flesh and bone born to parents who perhaps loved and cherished him, showered him with affection and praise; then the darkness came, creeping slowly into the corners of his thoughts, consuming his soul with shadows of lunacy, until one day he was gone, his family devastated by the loss of his soul.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI love my daughter, as does my husband, yet there are times when the strain of coping with her illness is more than we can bear. In the blanket of darkness, I submit to my shame, flowing images of my life before her wash over me, satiating my appetite for normalcy; then reality takes hold, and I remember my daughter, innocent in her existence, and I am racked with guilt and grief. Despite what is laid before us, I will never leave her side.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt times it feels as though Kamryn has become a personification of her illnesses, a stereotype assigned by a culture biased against the mentally ill. Kamy suffers from bipolar disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome, a developmental disability that falls along the Autism spectrum. She is also plagued with debilitating anxiety. The symptoms of her illnesses range from incidental to the extreme.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEvery day for us is the same, repetition of actions that sooth her need for consistency. People assume that I am raising Rain Man, for our culture is so fixated upon that which is presented in popular culture and the media as the truth. My daughter is not a character in a story, but an individual who suffers from illnesses that consume her thoughts and chase away her dreams. Her brain chemistry is so convoluted that only the strongest psychotropic medications can quell the fires of madness that seek to consume her. Kamryn is violent and aggressive, physically abusive to both her sister and father. She hears voices and noises that are not real and witnesses visions of transparency. Each day, Kamy is reminded that she is not suffering from the myriad of maladies from which she believes she is suffering, ranging from brain tumors to scarlet fever. She has been deemed so severely ill that she receives Social Security income and Medicaid at the sagacious age of twelve. We live with the constant reminder of our loss, witnessing each day the consumption of our child.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis story is not meant to invoke pity; no telethon or organized walk will bring back my daughter’s light. I tell my tale for the forgotten, those families who fight in the trenches alongside mine. We are the lepers of modern society, a secret sect of the damned—parents of the mentally ill. The American culture lives in fear of mental illness, hiding the evidence of its existence. We live in a reactive society, poised to respond in the event that harm is done or a crime committed. I have been told countless times that ultimately my daughter will end up either committed, incarcerated, or dead. We are told that there is no hope for an individual such as herself, that she is destined for failure; therefore, any programs of intervention are nonexistent barring an incredible amount of wealth that can buy her way into a swank halfway house or residential treatment center.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy daughter is not significant in the eyes of her community because of her illnesses. If she was plagued by leukemia or diabetes, people would flock to champion her cause, but her disease is intangible, a spectral force that others fear. I say these words not to take away the suffering of parents whose children must endure physical illness, but because those parents of the mentally ill deserve the same amount of attention and support as well. We desire more than the anesthetizing of our children with medicinal concoctions. We want more for their lives than an existence behind bars or confined to windowless walls. We fear their death to suicide, alcoholism, or drug overdose; we envision their victimization at the hands of predators, tantalized by their smell of vulnerability. Our voices fall silent at the feet of our communities. We weep in isolation, support nowhere to be found.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe number of families that suffer in silence is shocking, confined to obscurity’s seclusion by the authoritative arm of ignorance. Informational systems are clogged with callous diagnostic books and journals, yet the utterances of the ill and their families are lost. Now and again, a story of a mentally ill person committing horrific crimes will surface in the media, further solidifying societies vision, yet never is a headline run on the success of an individual who suffers from schizophrenia opening an art show or a bipolar adolescent being accepted into Harvard. It is not that these occurrences are not possible, but the stories are never heard for such a display of positivity would directly contrast the assigned stigma attached to the mentally ill.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy daughter will never recover from her diseased mind. We have come to terms with the notion of our altered life. The chances that she achieves prosperity in her future are small, partially because of her illnesses, but also because of the insurmountable odds placed before her by those who do not even know her name. My daughter is fated to become a statistic, a number in the records of regulatory agencies that dole out her income because they have labeled her as unable to function in life. She is a diagnosis to the psychiatric profession, a subject to be studied and experimented upon, running her through the maze of existence to determine how she responds. My daughter is an atrocity, a mar on the pristine image of the American culture.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe is my child, my spirit, my love, my joy. Kamryn is bright, artistic, witty, and quirky. She is exactly as God intended, flawed in her perfection. I will never cease in my pursuit of her dreams, for although she is not capable on attaining her goals alone, the magnitude of her possibility is immense with her family’s support and care.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRemember the child, radiant in her blithe; an image of divinity—she exists within.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/dbd2991c-6ae3-4172-8db5-b1c24e070375?resourceVersion=id%3A65"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"a784ba90-624f-4c53-996e-18cd4ab57042","drupal_internal__tid":40,"drupal_internal__revision_id":40,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-11-23T16:51:44+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Janna Vought","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-11-23T16:51:44+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Janna Vought | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/40"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/a784ba90-624f-4c53-996e-18cd4ab57042?resourceVersion=id%3A40"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":40},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"d4572614-55e7-4484-b1e6-2d4c946ed220","drupal_internal__fid":38,"langcode":"en","filename":"mental_illnesschild.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-11/mental_illnesschild.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-11/mental_illnesschild.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":36113,"status":true,"created":"2023-11-23T16:54:20+00:00","changed":"2023-11-23T16:54:38+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-11/mental_illnesschild.jpg?itok=YU4KV8NL","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-11/mental_illnesschild.jpg?itok=wMgqVIt_","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/d4572614-55e7-4484-b1e6-2d4c946ed220"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"depiction of mental illness","title":"","width":600,"height":402,"drupal_internal__target_id":38},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"b8b9327a-a905-422f-94b3-e2acb4748c69","title":"I Think My Neighbor’s Kid Is a Legit Psychopath","created":"2015-06-15T22:44:38+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/i-think-my-neighbors-kid-is-a-legit-psychopath","pid":37,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eNot exactly how you want to start out a conversation with your neighbors, is it? But I'm going to have to figure out some way to explain to them why I won't allow my daughter to play with their five kids any more.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eReally, it's just the one, the four-year-old boy. We'll call him Damien, both for the sake of privacy and because it's frighteningly close to his actual name (the parents seem to have a fondness for the kinds of names the death-metal rockers I hung out with in high school always said they'd choose for their children, except of course they swore they were never going to have any).\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI hate to admit this, but I have never liked the kid. He frightens me. Actually, he makes me want to adopt him and then spank the ever-loving crap out of him five times a day for the next year or so until he straightens up, because G-d knows, when I lay down a rule or forbid him to do something and he looks up at me with that malicious smirk in his eyes that says, \"stupid lady, you think you can tell me what to do!\", I want to slap him. I'm not proud of this, and I'm not a fan of the \"violence solves everything\" school of parenting, but I don't tolerate blatant disrespect from creatures small enough to be an afternoon snack for a medium-sized python. It's just not the natural order of things.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut the problem right now isn't the fact that he's got a future of juvie written all over his smirking little mug, or that when he demands that I fetch him a drink from the house and I cheerfully reply, \"What's the magic word?\", he responds with, \"G-d, it's just \u003cem\u003ewater.\"\u003c/em\u003e It's his obsession with cutting people up into pieces. That's the only game he plays, from what I can tell, and most certainly when my three-year-old daughter is playing with him. He grabs a stick, a garden trowel, a hoe, whatever's handy, then corners her while swinging his \"knife\", as he calls it, closer and closer, screech-growling that he's going to cut her up into pieces. It's about all I've ever heard him actually say out loud, as he's completely silent when not threatening her or his siblings with butchery, so I don't know if this is his only tone of voice, or one he reserves for his little games of junior-slasher.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut you know, I've never raised boys, I wasn't even raised around them. My husband, who was once a boy himself, agrees with me that this isn't normal, but I tried not to take it too seriously.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut the past few days, my daughter, normally as rough-and-tumble as they come, has been getting hysterical at the sight of old bruises and scrapes on her arms and legs. Like, inconsolably upset. Putting her to bed for a nap sometimes, she'll say, \"Mommy, I don't want to get cut up into little pieces.\" Clearly, this has gone beyond a somewhat-morbid child's game over the border into Deeply Disturbing Land.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo I've decided she's not playing over there any more, and they're not allowed in our yard (we've already had problems with him coming up and trying to get into the back door without knocking. Now the only problem is how to tell his parents *why*. \"Sorry, but I don't want my daughter playing with a kid who's only about two years and a misplaced hunting knife away from mutilating neighborhood pets\" doesn't seem the most tactful route. And my own experience with bullies and actual psychopaths makes me reluctant to let them know how deeply disturbed by these \"play\" sessions my child is becoming; you don't hand the enemy a list of your weaknesses, you know? After (repeatedly) telling the child that I don't want people, ANY people, coming into my yard without invitation, I've looked out the window on many occasions to see him sitting on our fence, just staring at the house.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSmiling a little.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeriously, this kid creeps me the hell out.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eNot exactly how you want to start out a conversation with your neighbors, is it? But I'm going to have to figure out some way to explain to them why I won't allow my daughter to play with their five kids any more.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eReally, it's just the one, the four-year-old boy. We'll call him Damien, both for the sake of privacy and because it's frighteningly close to his actual name (the parents seem to have a fondness for the kinds of names the death-metal rockers I hung out with in high school always said they'd choose for their children, except of course they swore they were never going to have any).\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI hate to admit this, but I have never liked the kid. He frightens me. Actually, he makes me want to adopt him and then spank the ever-loving crap out of him five times a day for the next year or so until he straightens up, because G-d knows, when I lay down a rule or forbid him to do something and he looks up at me with that malicious smirk in his eyes that says, \"stupid lady, you think you can tell me what to do!\", I want to slap him. I'm not proud of this, and I'm not a fan of the \"violence solves everything\" school of parenting, but I don't tolerate blatant disrespect from creatures small enough to be an afternoon snack for a medium-sized python. It's just not the natural order of things.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut the problem right now isn't the fact that he's got a future of juvie written all over his smirking little mug, or that when he demands that I fetch him a drink from the house and I cheerfully reply, \"What's the magic word?\", he responds with, \"G-d, it's just \u003cem\u003ewater.\"\u003c/em\u003e It's his obsession with cutting people up into pieces. That's the only game he plays, from what I can tell, and most certainly when my three-year-old daughter is playing with him. He grabs a stick, a garden trowel, a hoe, whatever's handy, then corners her while swinging his \"knife\", as he calls it, closer and closer, screech-growling that he's going to cut her up into pieces. It's about all I've ever heard him actually say out loud, as he's completely silent when not threatening her or his siblings with butchery, so I don't know if this is his only tone of voice, or one he reserves for his little games of junior-slasher.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut you know, I've never raised boys, I wasn't even raised around them. My husband, who was once a boy himself, agrees with me that this isn't normal, but I tried not to take it too seriously.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut the past few days, my daughter, normally as rough-and-tumble as they come, has been getting hysterical at the sight of old bruises and scrapes on her arms and legs. Like, inconsolably upset. Putting her to bed for a nap sometimes, she'll say, \"Mommy, I don't want to get cut up into little pieces.\" Clearly, this has gone beyond a somewhat-morbid child's game over the border into Deeply Disturbing Land.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo I've decided she's not playing over there any more, and they're not allowed in our yard (we've already had problems with him coming up and trying to get into the back door without knocking. Now the only problem is how to tell his parents *why*. \"Sorry, but I don't want my daughter playing with a kid who's only about two years and a misplaced hunting knife away from mutilating neighborhood pets\" doesn't seem the most tactful route. And my own experience with bullies and actual psychopaths makes me reluctant to let them know how deeply disturbed by these \"play\" sessions my child is becoming; you don't hand the enemy a list of your weaknesses, you know? After (repeatedly) telling the child that I don't want people, ANY people, coming into my yard without invitation, I've looked out the window on many occasions to see him sitting on our fence, just staring at the house.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSmiling a little.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeriously, this kid creeps me the hell out.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"He's creepy, more than just a bully"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/b8b9327a-a905-422f-94b3-e2acb4748c69?resourceVersion=id%3A48"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"78477c7a-60b0-4e30-80b2-e24a20b7e59e","drupal_internal__tid":25,"drupal_internal__revision_id":25,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-26T22:44:29+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Misty Nuckolls","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-26T22:44:29+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Misty Nuckolls | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/25"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/78477c7a-60b0-4e30-80b2-e24a20b7e59e?resourceVersion=id%3A25"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":25},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"2e8c0081-7b33-4a46-aeca-1b99d65d0aa4","drupal_internal__fid":26,"langcode":"en","filename":"canstockphoto2184070.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/canstockphoto2184070.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/canstockphoto2184070.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":76543,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-26T22:48:05+00:00","changed":"2023-09-26T22:48:33+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/canstockphoto2184070.jpg?itok=e6caabij","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/canstockphoto2184070.jpg?itok=dGq-uaT8","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/2e8c0081-7b33-4a46-aeca-1b99d65d0aa4"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"menacing looking child","title":"","width":800,"height":533,"drupal_internal__target_id":26},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"016279f4-183c-4ee9-955f-84d42521b909","title":"How bad do mammograms hurt?","created":"2015-06-15T20:43:51+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/q-how-bad-do-mammograms-hurt-a-they-hurt-like-hell","pid":45,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eI had my first mammogram yesterday.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter it was done, I ran though a mental checklist of things that\u0026nbsp;would have been much more pleasant -- chewing glass, having a toe amputated, sticking a needle in my eye, eating goose poop. These came to me in a steady stream as I winced and said, \"Ow. Ow. Ow\" through the process.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe nurse was nice enough to warn\u0026nbsp;me at least. She said, \"You know a lot of women complain about how painful this test is, but I think you'll find that it isn't as bad as everyone says.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Thanks a lot,\" I thought to myself, \"I actually hadn't heard that it was painful, but thanks\u0026nbsp;for that, especially after the 45 minute wait. Awesome.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFirst of all, it's awkward, because you have a female nurse\u0026nbsp;man-handling your breasts and then she puuuulllls them and stretches them every which way. Whenever I tell women my experience they like to tell me\u0026nbsp;it's worse when you have less as they point their\u0026nbsp;fingers towards my chest, making a circle in the air. They claim I have more so they, the tiny titty\u0026nbsp;committee, must have had it worse.\u0026nbsp;Not sure I buy this. Smaller breasts mean there's\u0026nbsp;less to squeeze and squish in between those large plastic plates.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeriously, I have red marks \u0026nbsp;above my boobs like I've been attacked by a mountain lion. \u0026nbsp;I've had to take ibuprofen every 6 hours from last night until this morning and I'm still in excruciating pain. It has now been over 24 hours and the pain still throbs and burns. There is no way that can be good for your breast tissue.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eScrew the dangers of radiation, I feel like the damage to my breasts is enough to \u003cem\u003ecause\u003c/em\u003e cancer\u0026nbsp;even if there was no trace to begin with. I hear stories from people all the time, where an injury later developed into cancer in that area. While doctors and scientists poo-poo the idea, I'd like to see more research on it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe are fragile beings. My boobies are fragile. This just isn't right!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen the mammogram procedure was done, I even told the nurse\u0026nbsp;that she was dead wrong. It is as bad she claims everyone says. The whole\u0026nbsp;experience\u0026nbsp;sucked the big one.\u0026nbsp;I was too young to get it done anyway, I boasted. \"I'm 38.\"\u0026nbsp;She wasn't impressed. She told me that the first mammogram should be between the age of 35 and 40 and then it was to be done every 2 years until 50 and then it's to be done every year.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe only reason I even did it was because my OB-GYN wouldn't renew my birth control pills without my having it done, so he had me over a barrel. If you lived with my two boys, you would know what I mean.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis experience has taught me two things:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ea) I need to get a new GYNE\u0026nbsp;and\u003cbr\u003eb) breasts were never meant to be compressed like a stale piece of gum, stuck to a cheap pair of shoes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo now you know the truth. No use sugar coating it -- mammograms really hurt. They're painful. And they suck big hairy monkey balls. My advice -- book your appointment after happy hour and bring with you a designated driver.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eI had my first mammogram yesterday.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter it was done, I ran though a mental checklist of things that would have been much more pleasant -- chewing glass, having a toe amputated, sticking a needle in my eye, eating goose poop. These came to me in a steady stream as I winced and said, \"Ow. Ow. Ow\" through the process.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe nurse was nice enough to warn me at least. She said, \"You know a lot of women complain about how painful this test is, but I think you'll find that it isn't as bad as everyone says.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Thanks a lot,\" I thought to myself, \"I actually hadn't heard that it was painful, but thanks for that, especially after the 45 minute wait. Awesome.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFirst of all, it's awkward, because you have a female nurse man-handling your breasts and then she puuuulllls them and stretches them every which way. Whenever I tell women my experience they like to tell me it's worse when you have less as they point their fingers towards my chest, making a circle in the air. They claim I have more so they, the tiny titty committee, must have had it worse. Not sure I buy this. Smaller breasts mean there's less to squeeze and squish in between those large plastic plates.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeriously, I have red marks  above my boobs like I've been attacked by a mountain lion.  I've had to take ibuprofen every 6 hours from last night until this morning and I'm still in excruciating pain. It has now been over 24 hours and the pain still throbs and burns. There is no way that can be good for your breast tissue.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eScrew the dangers of radiation, I feel like the damage to my breasts is enough to \u003cem\u003ecause\u003c/em\u003e cancer even if there was no trace to begin with. I hear stories from people all the time, where an injury later developed into cancer in that area. While doctors and scientists poo-poo the idea, I'd like to see more research on it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe are fragile beings. My boobies are fragile. This just isn't right!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen the mammogram procedure was done, I even told the nurse that she was dead wrong. It is as bad she claims everyone says. The whole experience sucked the big one. I was too young to get it done anyway, I boasted. \"I'm 38.\" She wasn't impressed. She told me that the first mammogram should be between the age of 35 and 40 and then it was to be done every 2 years until 50 and then it's to be done every year.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe only reason I even did it was because my OB-GYN wouldn't renew my birth control pills without my having it done, so he had me over a barrel. If you lived with my two boys, you would know what I mean.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis experience has taught me two things:\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003ea) I need to get a new GYNE and\u003cbr /\u003eb) breasts were never meant to be compressed like a stale piece of gum, stuck to a cheap pair of shoes.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo now you know the truth. No use sugar coating it -- mammograms really hurt. They're painful. And they suck big hairy monkey balls. My advice -- book your appointment after happy hour and bring with you a designated driver.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":"They hurt like hell. So NOT my idea of a good time."},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/016279f4-183c-4ee9-955f-84d42521b909?resourceVersion=id%3A55"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"019216ed-4be2-43e4-bcf3-61afe749fdef","drupal_internal__tid":32,"drupal_internal__revision_id":32,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-27T20:42:57+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Jessica Carlson","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-27T20:42:57+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Jessica Carlson | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/32"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/019216ed-4be2-43e4-bcf3-61afe749fdef?resourceVersion=id%3A32"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":32},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"90f0a12e-6901-4aba-8fe5-4a58edf80caa","drupal_internal__fid":32,"langcode":"en","filename":"canstockphoto7428338.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/canstockphoto7428338.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/canstockphoto7428338.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":101175,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-27T20:47:16+00:00","changed":"2023-09-27T20:47:31+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/canstockphoto7428338.jpg?itok=WkJawDnt","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/canstockphoto7428338.jpg?itok=q1vpA3Fh","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/90f0a12e-6901-4aba-8fe5-4a58edf80caa"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Older woman arriving for mammogram","title":"","width":800,"height":533,"drupal_internal__target_id":32},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"f555baa3-f8a7-407c-adf4-b25977870b89","title":"Mowing the Lawn is a Woman's Job","created":"2015-06-15T18:37:10+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/mowing-the-lawn-is-a-womans-job","pid":42,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eI have a confession to make...I love mowing the lawn. No, \"mowing the lawn\" is not some weird Mantra-type sexual position. I mean it literally -- I love cutting the grass!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe have a rather large piece of property with a nicely sized front yard and a backyard that is 300+ feet deep, as well as a sled-worthy hill between us and a neighbor. She also mows the lawn -- at 95 years of age! In fact, our neighbor on the opposite side also mows her lawn. Drive down our street on any given April through October day and chances are one of us mamas is out there packing turf.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI don't consider mowing the lawn a chore. Laundry, cleaning, cooking -- now, that's a chore. And living with four children creates a whole lot of dirty clothes, a sticky house and makes cooking a dirty word. Nope, I can't wait to get out there and rev my estrogen levels right along with my 4.5 horsepower fossil-fuel-burning hunk of love. Now \u003cem\u003ethat\u003c/em\u003e gets me hot.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo one -- and I mean \u003cem\u003eno one\u003c/em\u003e -- messes with me and my lawn mower, not even my hubby. There are several reasons why that task is mine, and why I make it a point to rendezvous with the lawn mower more than twice a month:\u003c/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\u003cli\u003eI get the children out of the house with me (theoretically, avoiding any further trashing that has, no doubt, occurred indoors).\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eI get a major workout. I didn't have to pay for it, didn't buy clothes for it, didn't sign a membership contract for it, don't have to drive to get to it, don't feel guilty if I skip doing it for two weeks and most of all, don't have to be in a room full of gym bunnies.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIt is a great stress reliever. Rather than feel the need to beat the crap out of the kids, I kick some Kentucky Blue turf instead.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eI also find myself feeling lulled into a sense of peace and harmony by the white noise produced by the lawnmower, sort of making use of a combination of yoga and active meditation techniques.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eAlthough this probably falls under #3, I can curse (out loud) the heck out of anyone has just about gotten on my last nerve and without confrontation. I love that.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMost of all, my children see that Mommy -- a woman -- can easily take on a physically demanding chore like cutting the grass, and enjoy it. I am woman and I am strong! Unless, of course, there is that occasional field mouse that happens to run in front of the lawn mower...\"Eeeekkkk! I hate mice! Eeewww, I hope I didn't run it over! Oh gross! I did! No, you can't touch it! Leave it there and Daddy will clean it up when he gets home.\"\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003eTruth is I think that my four children like the fact they can run along side and taunt me to their little hearts content unnoticed, unheard, and usually without reprimand. Some examples of a few of their favorite jeers are:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"She can't hear us! Watch this... Hey Mom, your face is all yucky red!\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Hey Mom, your meatloaf stinks!\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Hey Mom, your boobies are shaking!\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd they yuck it up until I turn my beloved Murray toward them and become \"Lawnmower Mom\" and chase them in these cute little zig-zaggy type patterns. Not my husband's most favorite look for our yard I must say.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eToday's lawn mowing session was very productive and I managed to take out both the front and back yards, sorting out a lot of issues in between:\u003c/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\u003cli\u003eScrew the laundry.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eBurned off those Oreo cookies from this morning.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eSaved the baby's butt, again.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eOooommm. Oooommm.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMe Woman. Me No Need Man.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf he/she thinks he/she can talk to me like that...well then he/she can just go take a blankety-blank-blank long walk off a blankety-blank-blank short pier.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo, you see, working the mower is so much more than an exercise in superior lawn care. For this wiped out old mom it is a labor of love -- mind, body and soul.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eI have a confession to make...I love mowing the lawn. No, \"mowing the lawn\" is not some weird Mantra-type sexual position. I mean it literally -- I love cutting the grass!\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe have a rather large piece of property with a nicely sized front yard and a backyard that is 300+ feet deep, as well as a sled-worthy hill between us and a neighbor. She also mows the lawn -- at 95 years of age! In fact, our neighbor on the opposite side also mows her lawn. Drive down our street on any given April through October day and chances are one of us mamas is out there packing turf.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI don't consider mowing the lawn a chore. Laundry, cleaning, cooking -- now, that's a chore. And living with four children creates a whole lot of dirty clothes, a sticky house and makes cooking a dirty word. Nope, I can't wait to get out there and rev my estrogen levels right along with my 4.5 horsepower fossil-fuel-burning hunk of love. Now \u003cem\u003ethat\u003c/em\u003e gets me hot.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo one -- and I mean \u003cem\u003eno one\u003c/em\u003e -- messes with me and my lawn mower, not even my hubby. There are several reasons why that task is mine, and why I make it a point to rendezvous with the lawn mower more than twice a month:\u003c/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\u003cli\u003eI get the children out of the house with me (theoretically, avoiding any further trashing that has, no doubt, occurred indoors).\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eI get a major workout. I didn't have to pay for it, didn't buy clothes for it, didn't sign a membership contract for it, don't have to drive to get to it, don't feel guilty if I skip doing it for two weeks and most of all, don't have to be in a room full of gym bunnies.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIt is a great stress reliever. Rather than feel the need to beat the crap out of the kids, I kick some Kentucky Blue turf instead.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eI also find myself feeling lulled into a sense of peace and harmony by the white noise produced by the lawnmower, sort of making use of a combination of yoga and active meditation techniques.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eAlthough this probably falls under #3, I can curse (out loud) the heck out of anyone has just about gotten on my last nerve and without confrontation. I love that.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMost of all, my children see that Mommy -- a woman -- can easily take on a physically demanding chore like cutting the grass, and enjoy it. I am woman and I am strong! Unless, of course, there is that occasional field mouse that happens to run in front of the lawn mower...\"Eeeekkkk! I hate mice! Eeewww, I hope I didn't run it over! Oh gross! I did! No, you can't touch it! Leave it there and Daddy will clean it up when he gets home.\"\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003eTruth is I think that my four children like the fact they can run along side and taunt me to their little hearts content unnoticed, unheard, and usually without reprimand. Some examples of a few of their favorite jeers are:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"She can't hear us! Watch this... Hey Mom, your face is all yucky red!\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Hey Mom, your meatloaf stinks!\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Hey Mom, your boobies are shaking!\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd they yuck it up until I turn my beloved Murray toward them and become \"Lawnmower Mom\" and chase them in these cute little zig-zaggy type patterns. Not my husband's most favorite look for our yard I must say.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eToday's lawn mowing session was very productive and I managed to take out both the front and back yards, sorting out a lot of issues in between:\u003c/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\u003cli\u003eScrew the laundry.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eBurned off those Oreo cookies from this morning.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eSaved the baby's butt, again.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eOooommm. Oooommm.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMe Woman. Me No Need Man.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf he/she thinks he/she can talk to me like that...well then he/she can just go take a blankety-blank-blank long walk off a blankety-blank-blank short pier.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo, you see, working the mower is so much more than an exercise in superior lawn care. For this wiped out old mom it is a labor of love -- mind, body and soul.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/f555baa3-f8a7-407c-adf4-b25977870b89?resourceVersion=id%3A52"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"a3f145f4-46c3-4500-a62f-ca1bd5ef0eb2","drupal_internal__tid":29,"drupal_internal__revision_id":29,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-27T18:36:40+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Elizabeth Thompson","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-27T18:36:40+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Elizabeth Thompson | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/29"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/a3f145f4-46c3-4500-a62f-ca1bd5ef0eb2?resourceVersion=id%3A29"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":29},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"77520941-8b1b-452d-9129-efb221823825","drupal_internal__fid":30,"langcode":"en","filename":"lawnmower.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/lawnmower.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/lawnmower.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":44984,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-27T18:39:15+00:00","changed":"2023-09-27T18:40:32+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/lawnmower.jpg?itok=a_LXVtsh","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/lawnmower.jpg?itok=tjwGYxXf","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/77520941-8b1b-452d-9129-efb221823825"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Photo of lawnmower","title":"","width":350,"height":263,"drupal_internal__target_id":30},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"9f506a5e-a61b-42f0-bd5c-d2ee68e83ae8","title":"Mom's Creative Solution After Finding Condom in Teen's Laundry","created":"2015-06-12T15:44:23+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/moms-creative-solution-after-finding-condom-in-teens-laundry","pid":52,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eParenting woes hit hard when an unassuming mother or father becomes privy to information they’d just as soon not know. I think we’ve all worn blinders when discovering a hidden handwritten note or overhearing sordid details of a phone conversation. But how blind can one pretend to be when making a discovery such as the one I made a few weeks ago?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn our house and probably yours, too, the laundry is overwhelming. Doing at least two loads a day, every day of the week, is about enough to keep the smelly articles from jumping from the hamper and staging their own production of Riverdance. We have teens that change their outfits in twenty-minute intervals, and smaller children who still spill frequently and attract more dirt than a construction site. Sometimes I feel as if I’ve grown a laundry basket. No longer a receptacle, it has become a permanent extension of my torso! It is within the briny depths of that torso that I unearthed one of the first traumas of mothering teens.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave you ever taken stock of exactly what lies in the bottom of those laundry baskets? Think about it. When the laundry is folded, is the basket ever really empty? Of course it’s not. If it’s at all like my torso it still contains a few things. A large collection of used dryer sheets tends to accumulate before they are trashed. Single socks, lonely and forever abandoned by their mates, live there, soon to be relegated to some sort of disposal. I’ve found balls of lint, wadded up pieces of paper, an occasional pen, and oodles of ponytail holders and bobby pins. But on this particular day as I retrieved the last pair of size 6 Rugrats briefs I was stopped in my tracks by a foreign object. There in the bottom of my torso was a thoroughly washed and dried condom. I don’t mean a condom housed in its neat little foil wrapper. No, I’m talking apparently used, although currently laundered.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs initial shock made me gasp, maternal instinct temporarily numbed my senses allowing for small doses of reason to enter my thoughts.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“He’s eighteen,” I told myself. I vaguely recalled eighteen. I remembered being eighteen in the early seventies.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“But you’ve preached abstinence!” my churched soul exclaimed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eReason jumped in, “At least there are precautions being taken.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eReason did have a good point.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy mind’s conversation continued until I decided I’d better take control of the situation or request counseling and meds for Multiple Personality Disorder. I poured a cup of coffee and devised my plan of action.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRecognizing the need to make my discovery known, I decided to leave a message on the washing machine.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt read, “To whom it may concern. Condoms are disposable. They are not to be washed and dried as this may cause shrinkage or breakdown of the protective latex. Signed, The Laundry Management”.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI taped the note and offending, but very clean item to the washer’s lid, and waited for a reaction. I never got one. The next time I entered the laundry room both the message and accompaniment were gone.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI do believe, however, that my point was well taken. By not accusing, shaming, or reprimanding my son I relayed to him that I was well aware of his dalliances, and although I did not condone them, I respected that responsibility was being assumed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI’ve tried to maintain a sense of humor regarding the eye-openers teens can throw our way. It’s definitely been a learning experience. It keeps me on my toes. The benefit? Strong toes. And strong toes are very advantageous when the need arises to search the tops of teenagers closets. Just imagine the kinds of things you'll find in there...\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eParenting woes hit hard when an unassuming mother or father becomes privy to information they’d just as soon not know. I think we’ve all worn blinders when discovering a hidden handwritten note or overhearing sordid details of a phone conversation. But how blind can one pretend to be when making a discovery such as the one I made a few weeks ago?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn our house and probably yours, too, the laundry is overwhelming. Doing at least two loads a day, every day of the week, is about enough to keep the smelly articles from jumping from the hamper and staging their own production of Riverdance. We have teens that change their outfits in twenty-minute intervals, and smaller children who still spill frequently and attract more dirt than a construction site. Sometimes I feel as if I’ve grown a laundry basket. No longer a receptacle, it has become a permanent extension of my torso! It is within the briny depths of that torso that I unearthed one of the first traumas of mothering teens.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave you ever taken stock of exactly what lies in the bottom of those laundry baskets? Think about it. When the laundry is folded, is the basket ever really empty? Of course it’s not. If it’s at all like my torso it still contains a few things. A large collection of used dryer sheets tends to accumulate before they are trashed. Single socks, lonely and forever abandoned by their mates, live there, soon to be relegated to some sort of disposal. I’ve found balls of lint, wadded up pieces of paper, an occasional pen, and oodles of ponytail holders and bobby pins. But on this particular day as I retrieved the last pair of size 6 Rugrats briefs I was stopped in my tracks by a foreign object. There in the bottom of my torso was a thoroughly washed and dried condom. I don’t mean a condom housed in its neat little foil wrapper. No, I’m talking apparently used, although currently laundered.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs initial shock made me gasp, maternal instinct temporarily numbed my senses allowing for small doses of reason to enter my thoughts.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“He’s eighteen,” I told myself. I vaguely recalled eighteen. I remembered being eighteen in the early seventies.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“But you’ve preached abstinence!” my churched soul exclaimed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eReason jumped in, “At least there are precautions being taken.”\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eReason did have a good point.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy mind’s conversation continued until I decided I’d better take control of the situation or request counseling and meds for Multiple Personality Disorder. I poured a cup of coffee and devised my plan of action.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRecognizing the need to make my discovery known, I decided to leave a message on the washing machine.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt read, “To whom it may concern. Condoms are disposable. They are not to be washed and dried as this may cause shrinkage or breakdown of the protective latex. Signed, The Laundry Management”.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI taped the note and offending, but very clean item to the washer’s lid, and waited for a reaction. I never got one. The next time I entered the laundry room both the message and accompaniment were gone.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI do believe, however, that my point was well taken. By not accusing, shaming, or reprimanding my son I relayed to him that I was well aware of his dalliances, and although I did not condone them, I respected that responsibility was being assumed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI’ve tried to maintain a sense of humor regarding the eye-openers teens can throw our way. It’s definitely been a learning experience. It keeps me on my toes. The benefit? Strong toes. And strong toes are very advantageous when the need arises to search the tops of teenagers closets. Just imagine the kinds of things you'll find in there...\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/9f506a5e-a61b-42f0-bd5c-d2ee68e83ae8?resourceVersion=id%3A62"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"cc1d9770-dfb2-4a6f-bdcb-e1ccfce1b0fc","drupal_internal__tid":39,"drupal_internal__revision_id":39,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-11-23T16:44:18+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Kimberly Ripley","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-11-23T16:44:18+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Kimberly Ripley | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/39"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/cc1d9770-dfb2-4a6f-bdcb-e1ccfce1b0fc?resourceVersion=id%3A39"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":39},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"8df905ed-08b5-4dc4-b4ff-36af77446827","drupal_internal__fid":37,"langcode":"en","filename":"canstockphoto7988683.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-11/canstockphoto7988683.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-11/canstockphoto7988683.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":75232,"status":true,"created":"2023-11-23T16:44:52+00:00","changed":"2023-11-23T16:48:16+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-11/canstockphoto7988683.jpg?itok=jjWS2K-R","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-11/canstockphoto7988683.jpg?itok=xB6Q5Z80","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/8df905ed-08b5-4dc4-b4ff-36af77446827"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Laundry basket","title":"","width":800,"height":531,"drupal_internal__target_id":37},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"3d15ef4e-6382-4dbb-b4d7-c29af8523715","title":"Toddler calls father by first name","created":"2015-05-27T16:25:01+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/toddler-calls-father-by-first-name","pid":57,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eHere is my quandary. My 3-year-old son has taken to calling me by my first name. I suspect he was up late one night and caught a viewing of \u003cem\u003eTo Kill a Mockingbird\u003c/em\u003e on AMC. But trust me, he's no Scout. He doesn't even own a pair of overalls, much less a giant papier-mâche ham.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm torn because of two reasons. First, it's so damn cute. How can I correct him when I'm on the verge of a giggle fit whenever he does it? God forbid it happens while I'm drinking a glass of milk, because moo juice is going to come streaming out of my nose in a torrent equal in volume to the river Styx. And as fast as the downfall of the band Styx.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn contrast to the cuteness, I keep rerunning on my mental DVR\u0026nbsp;the Brady Bunch episode #44 titled \"Our Son, The Man\" when Greg becomes a hippie, turns the den into a shrine to the inventor of the black light, and proceeds to greet his parents with a, \"Hey, Mike, Hey, Carol\".\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMike Brady's stern admonition rings in my ears, \"Now, Greg...\". (Yes, I do watch too much television. Yes, I do have a weird knack for retaining useless information, why do you ask?)\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat do I do to not incur the scorn of the Mike Bradys of the world?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI know it's considered improper for a child to call a parent by their first name, due to some archaic rules set down that were found centuries ago in a troglodyte cave.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Do not call your father Oog, little Ug, it's \u003cem\u003edaddy\u003c/em\u003e.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's supposed to be out of respect. Because Miss Manners tells us this: it is not acceptable for a 16-year-old to say, \"John is such a big jerk.\" The appropriate phrasing would be, \"My \u003cem\u003edad\u003c/em\u003e is such a f**king a**hole.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo sense in using my real first name when ramming the verbal knife right between the shoulder blades. But how did this become so taboo? I picture us being at Chuck E. Cheese, my son calling out, \"Heeeyyy, Scott\", and the entire place comes to a screeching halt with even the banjo playing animatronic creatures stopping and staring as if he had uttered the name E.F. Hutton. Then the two hundred parents let out a gasp of shock, and they wisk him away to a foster home.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere's the problem. I don't care.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have to discipline the poor kid day in and day out on a myriad of constitutional issues, and I just don't have the heart to scold him for just using my name. In fact, it makes things a little easier. Imagine being in a room packed with kids, all screaming, \"Daddy! Daddy!\", like little baby birds looking for a worm. Then I hear a little voice, \"Scott! Over here!\", and zoom, I'm an eagle swooping down and grabbing my little salmon out of the stream of preschoolers. But the way others react, you would think that he just shouted at the top of his lungs that Jesus was a heroin addict.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePersonally, I blame it all on doctors. As we all know, doctors have this thing about liking to be called \"Dr.\". And I fully agree in a professional setting. Helps you weed out the doctors from the lab technicians. But I don't understand carrying it out into your personal life. We owned a restaurant for several years, and time and time again we would get a phone call where instead of asking for a reservation for Smith, they would insist that it was for \u003cem\u003eDoctor\u003c/em\u003e Smith. And no, not Dr. Smith from \u003cem\u003eLost in Space\u003c/em\u003e, him I would let slide. Why they thought it necessary that we inform our staff that a doctor was coming for dinner I don't know.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Oh my god, the guest on table 12 is choking! No time to call 911, man, check the reservation book!\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat I really don't understand was when I worked retail -- \u003cem\u003eshudder\u003c/em\u003e -- I noticed some credit cards that had the doctor title on them. Now, really, what's the purpose of that?!? The pimply faced teenager at Target is really impressed. And for all of you out there that insist on being called Dr. just because you have a Ph.D. please, stop. No, I mean it, STOP. We're all glad that your family is rich enough to support you while you sat around for 4 years and determined the meaning of Finnigan's Wake. But I refuse to call you doctor for it. You'll definitely get the obligatory Professor out of me if we're in an academic setting, but if you correct me when I'm introduced to you at a party and insist I call you doctor, you will be summarily ridiculed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo, what to do about my son, the man? Perhaps one solution is for me to go back to school, write a dissertation on the underlying leftist anti-establishment sentiments of \"Red Fish, Blue Fish\" and insist that my son and everyone else around me begin using my new title Dr. of B.S., B.M., Esq., Inc. But I think I'll follow the lead of Mr. Atticus Finch and how he handled his little Scout -- I'm going to do absolutely nothing.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eHere is my quandary. My 3-year-old son has taken to calling me by my first name. I suspect he was up late one night and caught a viewing of \u003cem\u003eTo Kill a Mockingbird\u003c/em\u003e on AMC. But trust me, he's no Scout. He doesn't even own a pair of overalls, much less a giant papier-mâche ham.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm torn because of two reasons. First, it's so damn cute. How can I correct him when I'm on the verge of a giggle fit whenever he does it? God forbid it happens while I'm drinking a glass of milk, because moo juice is going to come streaming out of my nose in a torrent equal in volume to the river Styx. And as fast as the downfall of the band Styx.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn contrast to the cuteness, I keep rerunning on my mental DVR the Brady Bunch episode #44 titled \"Our Son, The Man\" when Greg becomes a hippie, turns the den into a shrine to the inventor of the black light, and proceeds to greet his parents with a, \"Hey, Mike, Hey, Carol\".\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMike Brady's stern admonition rings in my ears, \"Now, Greg...\". (Yes, I do watch too much television. Yes, I do have a weird knack for retaining useless information, why do you ask?)\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat do I do to not incur the scorn of the Mike Bradys of the world?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI know it's considered improper for a child to call a parent by their first name, due to some archaic rules set down that were found centuries ago in a troglodyte cave.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Do not call your father Oog, little Ug, it's \u003cem\u003edaddy\u003c/em\u003e.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's supposed to be out of respect. Because Miss Manners tells us this: it is not acceptable for a 16-year-old to say, \"John is such a big jerk.\" The appropriate phrasing would be, \"My \u003cem\u003edad\u003c/em\u003e is such a f**king a**hole.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo sense in using my real first name when ramming the verbal knife right between the shoulder blades. But how did this become so taboo? I picture us being at Chuck E. Cheese, my son calling out, \"Heeeyyy, Scott\", and the entire place comes to a screeching halt with even the banjo playing animatronic creatures stopping and staring as if he had uttered the name E.F. Hutton. Then the two hundred parents let out a gasp of shock, and they wisk him away to a foster home.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere's the problem. I don't care.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have to discipline the poor kid day in and day out on a myriad of constitutional issues, and I just don't have the heart to scold him for just using my name. In fact, it makes things a little easier. Imagine being in a room packed with kids, all screaming, \"Daddy! Daddy!\", like little baby birds looking for a worm. Then I hear a little voice, \"Scott! Over here!\", and zoom, I'm an eagle swooping down and grabbing my little salmon out of the stream of preschoolers. But the way others react, you would think that he just shouted at the top of his lungs that Jesus was a heroin addict.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePersonally, I blame it all on doctors. As we all know, doctors have this thing about liking to be called \"Dr.\". And I fully agree in a professional setting. Helps you weed out the doctors from the lab technicians. But I don't understand carrying it out into your personal life. We owned a restaurant for several years, and time and time again we would get a phone call where instead of asking for a reservation for Smith, they would insist that it was for \u003cem\u003eDoctor\u003c/em\u003e Smith. And no, not Dr. Smith from \u003cem\u003eLost in Space\u003c/em\u003e, him I would let slide. Why they thought it necessary that we inform our staff that a doctor was coming for dinner I don't know.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Oh my god, the guest on table 12 is choking! No time to call 911, man, check the reservation book!\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat I really don't understand was when I worked retail -- \u003cem\u003eshudder\u003c/em\u003e -- I noticed some credit cards that had the doctor title on them. Now, really, what's the purpose of that?!? The pimply faced teenager at Target is really impressed. And for all of you out there that insist on being called Dr. just because you have a Ph.D. please, stop. No, I mean it, STOP. We're all glad that your family is rich enough to support you while you sat around for 4 years and determined the meaning of Finnigan's Wake. But I refuse to call you doctor for it. You'll definitely get the obligatory Professor out of me if we're in an academic setting, but if you correct me when I'm introduced to you at a party and insist I call you doctor, you will be summarily ridiculed.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo, what to do about my son, the man? Perhaps one solution is for me to go back to school, write a dissertation on the underlying leftist anti-establishment sentiments of \"Red Fish, Blue Fish\" and insist that my son and everyone else around me begin using my new title Dr. of B.S., B.M., Esq., Inc. But I think I'll follow the lead of Mr. Atticus Finch and how he handled his little Scout -- I'm going to do absolutely nothing.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/3d15ef4e-6382-4dbb-b4d7-c29af8523715?resourceVersion=id%3A69"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"7503fc80-de14-40fe-bd57-23a1a11b6c77","drupal_internal__tid":43,"drupal_internal__revision_id":43,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-11-23T17:24:37+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Prescott Carlson","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-11-23T17:24:37+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Prescott Carlson | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/43"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/7503fc80-de14-40fe-bd57-23a1a11b6c77?resourceVersion=id%3A43"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":43},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"bb697143-5d23-420b-90ac-591e35d909dc","drupal_internal__fid":42,"langcode":"en","filename":"gregbradygroovy.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-11/gregbradygroovy.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-11/gregbradygroovy.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":43299,"status":true,"created":"2023-11-23T17:27:46+00:00","changed":"2023-11-23T17:28:09+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-11/gregbradygroovy.jpg?itok=eam4xasP","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-11/gregbradygroovy.jpg?itok=xoDMm_Wr","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/bb697143-5d23-420b-90ac-591e35d909dc"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Greg Brady","title":"","width":640,"height":462,"drupal_internal__target_id":42},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"41f49edf-767c-4515-a988-d73fd0186b71","title":"Five discontinued kid food failures","created":"2015-05-15T17:05:10+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/five-discontinued-kid-food-failures","pid":16,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eIt has long been said that if you \"Build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door.\" So true. Inventors have long enjoyed very lucrative careers spent ferreting out that which needs to be improved, enlarged, reduced or what, in many cases we, the unwashed masses, had no idea what we could not live without.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTaking a moment to reflect on hot commodities of yesteryear, let us pay homage to\u0026nbsp;Ronco president Ron Popeil. Where would this world be without Mr. Microphone: \"Hey babe, be back to pick you up later!\" The Pocket Fisherman: Small enough to clip to your belt under your three piece suit, you know, in case you get the urge to bass fish in your client’s koi pond. And how many of us would be unable to enjoy the pleasures of dried bananas or homemade beef jerky without a Ronco Food Dehydrator in the early 1990s?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eApparently over 500,000 of us and counting.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBehold, here a list of five discontinued fad kid food items which went the way of the troll doll and pet rock. I'd imagine these questionable ideas were the brain children of children themselves. Like the children of the executives at Kraft and H.J. Heinz Company. Who else would actually green light this stuff. Yes, for those of us who remember and loved them briefly, a certain nostalgia brings us a faint but fleeting smile.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e1.\u003cstrong\u003e Blue \u0026amp; Pink Squeeze Butter:\u003c/strong\u003e Parkay bet million that millions of kiddies would want to eat toast and waffles covered with runny colored butter. News Flash: Children taste with their eyes long before their tongues are involved. I remember at the time, my oldest\u0026nbsp;daughter’s reaction, \"It must taste like Pepto-Bismol or a Barium Enema. No thanks.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDon’t ask us how she knew what a barium enema would taste like.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"e18f7918-cfed-4efa-9a53-c9bfc0439d08\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/bluebutter-300x298.jpg\" alt=\"Parkay Fun Squeeze\"\u003e\u003cp\u003e2.\u003cstrong\u003e Heinz Colored Ketchups:\u003c/strong\u003e Ok, on the surface this must have seemed like a winner. Although I admit\u0026nbsp;it tasted like regular ketchup, it was still hard to eat with your eyes open.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"24643af4-bea3-4ed2-8083-e3a90970a204\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/coloredketchup.png\" alt=\"Heinz EZ Squirt colored ketchup\"\u003e\u003cp\u003e3.\u003cstrong\u003e Sliced Peanut Butter:\u003c/strong\u003e\u0026nbsp;Think brown American Cheese. Apparently this was supposed to be a time saving device, but quite frankly, peeling a piece of peanut butter onto a slice of bread is, well, a little weird. Give me a knife and a jar of Skippy any day. Add P.B. Slices to the list of kid food failures.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"9a93bf6f-3e61-4a0c-8464-b81001b76c2f\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/pbslices.jpg\" alt=\"Peanut butter slices\"\u003e\u003cp\u003e4.\u003cstrong\u003e Crustless Bread:\u003c/strong\u003e\u0026nbsp;Speaking of bread. Yes, after so many tireless years of having to actually remove the crusts with a knife, the bread companies finally developed the crustless loaf of bread. However, in a serious misstep, the marketers priced it over $1.20 more than a loaf with crust, and failed to take into account that busy parents actually live on the crusts we cut off our children’s sandwiches.\u0026nbsp;Guess nobody wanted to pay more money to starve.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"504a0d21-dba5-4904-b84a-10032aba1964\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/crustlessbread.jpg\" alt=\"crustless bread\"\u003e\u003cp\u003e5.\u003cstrong\u003e Flavored French Fries:\u003c/strong\u003e All parents know that children will\u0026nbsp;eat french fries for breakfast, lunch and dinner if allowed. Well, what if those fries were blue? That’s right, they were once available in bright blue. My suggestion --\u0026nbsp;they could be eaten with purple ketchup earned feigned vomiting from children the world over. But wait! Blue not your style? Try CHOCOLATE! I don’t know whose children were in the test groups used by these companies, but in my opinion,\u0026nbsp;Ore-Ida came\u0026nbsp;up with a Spud Dud.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"5a2efdf2-29c7-4799-a8aa-a245cdb95b82\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/bluefries.jpg\" alt=\"blue fries\"\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe're assuming these manufacturing gurus were forced to go back\u0026nbsp;the drawing board, keeping in mind that children like that which is familiar. The only way they were going to eat a Kiwi-Mango Pop Tart is if they are fed them from birth. In the meantime, we will reserve my admiration and praise for the true creative genius of the world: Mr. Popeil.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHey, we have an idea! Perhaps when they finally add his likeness to Mount Rushmore they could sprinkle some seeds in the crevices of the rocks. Don’t you think it would be a beautiful testament to his many contributions to see his head sprouting like a Chia Pet for all eternity. Ok, ok, we didn’t say it was a \u003cem\u003egood\u003c/em\u003e idea.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eIt has long been said that if you \"Build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door.\" So true. Inventors have long enjoyed very lucrative careers spent ferreting out that which needs to be improved, enlarged, reduced or what, in many cases we, the unwashed masses, had no idea what we could not live without.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTaking a moment to reflect on hot commodities of yesteryear, let us pay homage to Ronco president Ron Popeil. Where would this world be without Mr. Microphone: \"Hey babe, be back to pick you up later!\" The Pocket Fisherman: Small enough to clip to your belt under your three piece suit, you know, in case you get the urge to bass fish in your client’s koi pond. And how many of us would be unable to enjoy the pleasures of dried bananas or homemade beef jerky without a Ronco Food Dehydrator in the early 1990s?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eApparently over 500,000 of us and counting.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBehold, here a list of five discontinued fad kid food items which went the way of the troll doll and pet rock. I'd imagine these questionable ideas were the brain children of children themselves. Like the children of the executives at Kraft and H.J. Heinz Company. Who else would actually green light this stuff. Yes, for those of us who remember and loved them briefly, a certain nostalgia brings us a faint but fleeting smile.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e1.\u003cstrong\u003e Blue \u0026amp; Pink Squeeze Butter:\u003c/strong\u003e Parkay bet million that millions of kiddies would want to eat toast and waffles covered with runny colored butter. News Flash: Children taste with their eyes long before their tongues are involved. I remember at the time, my oldest daughter’s reaction, \"It must taste like Pepto-Bismol or a Barium Enema. No thanks.\"\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDon’t ask us how she knew what a barium enema would taste like.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"e18f7918-cfed-4efa-9a53-c9bfc0439d08\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/bluebutter-300x298.jpg\" alt=\"Parkay Fun Squeeze\" width=\"300\" height=\"298\" loading=\"lazy\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e2.\u003cstrong\u003e Heinz Colored Ketchups:\u003c/strong\u003e Ok, on the surface this must have seemed like a winner. Although I admit it tasted like regular ketchup, it was still hard to eat with your eyes open.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"24643af4-bea3-4ed2-8083-e3a90970a204\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/coloredketchup.png\" alt=\"Heinz EZ Squirt colored ketchup\" width=\"330\" height=\"320\" loading=\"lazy\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e3.\u003cstrong\u003e Sliced Peanut Butter:\u003c/strong\u003e Think brown American Cheese. Apparently this was supposed to be a time saving device, but quite frankly, peeling a piece of peanut butter onto a slice of bread is, well, a little weird. Give me a knife and a jar of Skippy any day. Add P.B. Slices to the list of kid food failures.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"9a93bf6f-3e61-4a0c-8464-b81001b76c2f\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/pbslices.jpg\" alt=\"Peanut butter slices\" width=\"200\" height=\"176\" loading=\"lazy\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e4.\u003cstrong\u003e Crustless Bread:\u003c/strong\u003e Speaking of bread. Yes, after so many tireless years of having to actually remove the crusts with a knife, the bread companies finally developed the crustless loaf of bread. However, in a serious misstep, the marketers priced it over $1.20 more than a loaf with crust, and failed to take into account that busy parents actually live on the crusts we cut off our children’s sandwiches. Guess nobody wanted to pay more money to starve.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"504a0d21-dba5-4904-b84a-10032aba1964\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/crustlessbread.jpg\" alt=\"crustless bread\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" loading=\"lazy\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e5.\u003cstrong\u003e Flavored French Fries:\u003c/strong\u003e All parents know that children will eat french fries for breakfast, lunch and dinner if allowed. Well, what if those fries were blue? That’s right, they were once available in bright blue. My suggestion -- they could be eaten with purple ketchup earned feigned vomiting from children the world over. But wait! Blue not your style? Try CHOCOLATE! I don’t know whose children were in the test groups used by these companies, but in my opinion, Ore-Ida came up with a Spud Dud.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cimg data-entity-uuid=\"5a2efdf2-29c7-4799-a8aa-a245cdb95b82\" data-entity-type=\"file\" src=\"/sites/default/files/inline-images/bluefries.jpg\" alt=\"blue fries\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" loading=\"lazy\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe're assuming these manufacturing gurus were forced to go back the drawing board, keeping in mind that children like that which is familiar. The only way they were going to eat a Kiwi-Mango Pop Tart is if they are fed them from birth. In the meantime, we will reserve my admiration and praise for the true creative genius of the world: Mr. Popeil.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHey, we have an idea! Perhaps when they finally add his likeness to Mount Rushmore they could sprinkle some seeds in the crevices of the rocks. Don’t you think it would be a beautiful testament to his many contributions to see his head sprouting like a Chia Pet for all eternity. Ok, ok, we didn’t say it was a \u003cem\u003egood\u003c/em\u003e idea.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/41f49edf-767c-4515-a988-d73fd0186b71?resourceVersion=id%3A27"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"66c43d87-7185-45e7-8ed1-6d4f4b3de5b3","drupal_internal__fid":13,"langcode":"en","filename":"discontinued.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/discontinued.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/discontinued.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":147006,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-06T17:15:32+00:00","changed":"2023-09-06T17:15:45+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/discontinued.jpg?itok=VCIznLLq","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/discontinued.jpg?itok=JOaBioKS","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/66c43d87-7185-45e7-8ed1-6d4f4b3de5b3"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Discontinued kid foods","title":"","width":870,"height":475,"drupal_internal__target_id":13},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"2a05372e-f7b7-406b-85cd-6318d4fc5d47","title":"70 things my mother used to say","created":"2015-05-13T17:35:26+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/70-things-my-mother-used-to-say","pid":22,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eAs an ode to our mother, here\u0026nbsp;are 70 things \"our mother always said\" based on a Google search of the top results:\u003c/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\u003cli\u003eBats and raccoons have rabies.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eBeggars can't be choosers.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou won't have any boyfriends if you stay fat.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWe were a tad bit Irish.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMarch to the beat of a different drummer.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eDon't stoop to their level.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eGotta take the bitter with the sweet.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eA lady never chews with her mouth open.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWait until you have children of your own.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThere is no right time to have a baby.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eA lot of Jews celebrate Christmas because it's secular.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou were a little bit hyper.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eEat it or go hungry.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eA hard head makes for a soft behind.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf you invite someone over, you have to wait for them to invite you back before you can invite again.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eShe could out-stubborn any kid, until she met this one.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWhen you're eating pretzels, chew before you swallow.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWWII was thought up between Churchill and FDR to help the economy.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou'd argue with a signpost.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eShe and my father always canceled each other out in their voting.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eBuying one for me was one of the biggest mistakes she'd ever made.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou'd forget your head if it wasn't attached.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eEven a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYour mind works in mysterious ways.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou'll have a big impact on the world.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThat's the pot calling the kettle black.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up the fastest.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThose who swear don't have much of a vocabulary.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eHear the sirens? They're coming to get you.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eOnly eat the snow just below the top layer.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eLay means to put or place.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eDon't put anything smaller than an elbow in your ear.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eGetting dirty is good for you, it built up ones resistance.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIt isn't lady-like to drink from a bottle.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf you can't play nice, you can't play at all.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMy ex was too good for me.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf there was a nutjob within 50 miles they'd find you.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWhen you point a finger at someone you are actually pointing three back at yourself.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf I learned something from her, it was worth it.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eAlways write thank you notes, even if you don't like the gift.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eCome home when the street lights turn on.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf candies and nuts were wishes and buts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWhere there's a will, there's a way.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf you want to get something done, ask a busy person to do it.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eSomeday you'll regret fighting with your sister and brother.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou can't always get what you want.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWait until you have to pay bills.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThe sun doesn't rise and fall on your desires.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eDon't speak to me like that.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eA locked door only keeps an honest man out.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou need to appreciate what you have.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eDon't open that umbrella in the house!\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMake it yourself.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eLife isn't fair.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eGo find something to do.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf you're bored, you can help me clean.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWhat would the Queen say?\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eNever write or type anything you don't want someone else to read.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMoney can't buy you happiness, but it sure helps.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ol\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eAs an ode to our mother, here are 70 things \"our mother always said\" based on a Google search of the top results:\u003c/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\u003cli\u003eBats and raccoons have rabies.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eBeggars can't be choosers.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou won't have any boyfriends if you stay fat.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWe were a tad bit Irish.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMarch to the beat of a different drummer.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eDon't stoop to their level.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eGotta take the bitter with the sweet.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eA lady never chews with her mouth open.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWait until you have children of your own.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThere is no right time to have a baby.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eA lot of Jews celebrate Christmas because it's secular.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou were a little bit hyper.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eEat it or go hungry.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eA hard head makes for a soft behind.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf you invite someone over, you have to wait for them to invite you back before you can invite again.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eShe could out-stubborn any kid, until she met this one.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWhen you're eating pretzels, chew before you swallow.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWWII was thought up between Churchill and FDR to help the economy.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou'd argue with a signpost.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eShe and my father always canceled each other out in their voting.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eBuying one for me was one of the biggest mistakes she'd ever made.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou'd forget your head if it wasn't attached.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eEven a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYour mind works in mysterious ways.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou'll have a big impact on the world.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThat's the pot calling the kettle black.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up the fastest.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThose who swear don't have much of a vocabulary.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eHear the sirens? They're coming to get you.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eOnly eat the snow just below the top layer.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eLay means to put or place.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eDon't put anything smaller than an elbow in your ear.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eGetting dirty is good for you, it built up ones resistance.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIt isn't lady-like to drink from a bottle.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf you can't play nice, you can't play at all.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMy ex was too good for me.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf there was a nutjob within 50 miles they'd find you.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWhen you point a finger at someone you are actually pointing three back at yourself.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf I learned something from her, it was worth it.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eAlways write thank you notes, even if you don't like the gift.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eCome home when the street lights turn on.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf candies and nuts were wishes and buts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWhere there's a will, there's a way.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf you want to get something done, ask a busy person to do it.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eSomeday you'll regret fighting with your sister and brother.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou can't always get what you want.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWait until you have to pay bills.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eThe sun doesn't rise and fall on your desires.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eDon't speak to me like that.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eA locked door only keeps an honest man out.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eYou need to appreciate what you have.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eDon't open that umbrella in the house!\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMake it yourself.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eLife isn't fair.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eGo find something to do.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eIf you're bored, you can help me clean.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eWhat would the Queen say?\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eNever write or type anything you don't want someone else to read.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003eMoney can't buy you happiness, but it sure helps.\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ol\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/2a05372e-f7b7-406b-85cd-6318d4fc5d47?resourceVersion=id%3A29"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":null,"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"15d63237-6cd4-4f04-9807-6bd900e52ce1","drupal_internal__fid":15,"langcode":"en","filename":"Snip20150531_2.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/Snip20150531_2.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/Snip20150531_2.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":152371,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-06T17:36:10+00:00","changed":"2023-09-06T17:42:16+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/Snip20150531_2.jpg?itok=UkOSrGM2","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/Snip20150531_2.jpg?itok=KE2WFDMS","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/15d63237-6cd4-4f04-9807-6bd900e52ce1"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Woman holding feather duster","title":"","width":1000,"height":602,"drupal_internal__target_id":15},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"49f1a21b-1f55-4232-9d0b-7d808e9257a0","title":"Can you be friends with a bad mom?","created":"2011-07-21T19:03:01+00:00","path":{"alias":"/articles/friends-with-a-bad-mom","pid":46,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eIt started so perfectly: a new lady moved to town and sat next to me at church. Her baby was a little older than mine, dressed in the same Sam’s Club plaid overalls. It was an instant conversation starter and she made me laugh. Not long later, Monica (names have been changed) invited me over. Things were fine till I saw her interact with all three of her children. They were out of control and didn’t listen to a word she said. It happens to us all sometimes, so I felt sheepish for her and moved on. But it happened again and again, every time I spent time with their family.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne night I was over to watch a movie after the kids went down. Monica tried to bribe the 9-year-old to put the 5-year-old to bed. At the park one evening for a picnic, same thing. “I’ll give you a dollar if you take your brother to get a drink.” Really?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have another friend, Kathy, with whom I love to discuss books. We each worked as English teachers before having kids and are both avid readers. I love Kathy’s brain—she’s an interesting, intelligent woman.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKathy has a horrible child. He’s difficult in every possible way. He doesn’t sleep, even as a 5-year-old, obsesses about things, and has a lot of issues with his rear end. Though Kathy and her son are hard to be with, I’ve always suspected the boy has some developmental problems and have accepted him as such. Kathy also has a younger daughter; mom thinks the sun rises and sets with this little girl. When the kid screams, Kathy smiles at her independence. When the girl hits her mother, Kathy concedes ground and does whatever the kid tells her.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIs it possible to stay friends with women when you can’t stand how they raise their kids? I like a lot of things about both Monica and Kathy. If I didn’t, this wouldn’t even be an issue. As women, I want to be friends. As mothers, I don’t want to be anywhere near them.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor a while, Kathy and I had a time out. I had to tell her that my son didn’t want to play; who would? Her kid always hurts mine and is sticking his fingers up his butt. It was awkward. I blamed it on my son which wasn’t fair. Sure my son didn’t want to play, but I make him do lots of things he doesn’t enjoy. The truth is, it wasn’t pleasant for me to be around them. It is hard to bite your tongue constantly when you see kids out of control.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter about six months, I called Kathy and invited her and the kids over to play. I figured the kids might have grown up a little, we’d try again. The boy had grown up. He was taller and stronger and more verbal. The girl was pure terror to her mother—pulling and demanding and tantruming.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs for Monica, I’d say we’re associates now.\u0026nbsp; I miss her great creative qualities.\u0026nbsp; But I genuinely can’t respect her after seeing her with the kids.\u0026nbsp; And she’s pregnant with number four—I can’t imagine how that will improve the mix.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI feel judgmental when I say that I can’t be friends with these women. I disagree with lots of people, including my sisters and my husband, about what good parenting looks like. There’s a lot of wiggle room in the equation. The mom down the street who is neurotic about safety; I think she’s over the top but she’s doing what she thinks is best. There’s much to respect even about various parenting strategies, and I have many friends who have do things in alternate ways.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI think the problem for me is how Kathy and Monica have essentially given up, even though their kids are still quite young. Yes, parenting is hella hard. Yes, I hate correcting my boys and making them go to bed and listen and a hundred other things. I’m frequently tempted to scrap it all and let them be in charge.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI don’t do it though. Maybe because I spent enough years teaching at an alternative high school where parents would talk to me, wanting to build a relationship with their teenager. Inevitably I would think, \u003cem\u003eit’s kind of too late. You have to work on that every day for fifteen years.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI don’t respect people who don’t take parenting seriously. This is the biggest deal out there. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but at least I’m trying. If you want to be my friend and you’ve got kids, it turns out I have some requirements.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat it comes down to is this: you have to be the adult. That doesn’t mean you get it right every time. It means you don’t let your kids boss you around, hit you, defy you, at every turn.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf that isn’t your vision of how you want things to be with your kids, then I guess we aren’t going to be able to hang out. I’m sorry.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eIt started so perfectly: a new lady moved to town and sat next to me at church. Her baby was a little older than mine, dressed in the same Sam’s Club plaid overalls. It was an instant conversation starter and she made me laugh. Not long later, Monica (names have been changed) invited me over. Things were fine till I saw her interact with all three of her children. They were out of control and didn’t listen to a word she said. It happens to us all sometimes, so I felt sheepish for her and moved on. But it happened again and again, every time I spent time with their family.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne night I was over to watch a movie after the kids went down. Monica tried to bribe the 9-year-old to put the 5-year-old to bed. At the park one evening for a picnic, same thing. “I’ll give you a dollar if you take your brother to get a drink.” Really?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have another friend, Kathy, with whom I love to discuss books. We each worked as English teachers before having kids and are both avid readers. I love Kathy’s brain—she’s an interesting, intelligent woman.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKathy has a horrible child. He’s difficult in every possible way. He doesn’t sleep, even as a 5-year-old, obsesses about things, and has a lot of issues with his rear end. Though Kathy and her son are hard to be with, I’ve always suspected the boy has some developmental problems and have accepted him as such. Kathy also has a younger daughter; mom thinks the sun rises and sets with this little girl. When the kid screams, Kathy smiles at her independence. When the girl hits her mother, Kathy concedes ground and does whatever the kid tells her.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIs it possible to stay friends with women when you can’t stand how they raise their kids? I like a lot of things about both Monica and Kathy. If I didn’t, this wouldn’t even be an issue. As women, I want to be friends. As mothers, I don’t want to be anywhere near them.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor a while, Kathy and I had a time out. I had to tell her that my son didn’t want to play; who would? Her kid always hurts mine and is sticking his fingers up his butt. It was awkward. I blamed it on my son which wasn’t fair. Sure my son didn’t want to play, but I make him do lots of things he doesn’t enjoy. The truth is, it wasn’t pleasant for me to be around them. It is hard to bite your tongue constantly when you see kids out of control.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter about six months, I called Kathy and invited her and the kids over to play. I figured the kids might have grown up a little, we’d try again. The boy had grown up. He was taller and stronger and more verbal. The girl was pure terror to her mother—pulling and demanding and tantruming.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs for Monica, I’d say we’re associates now.  I miss her great creative qualities.  But I genuinely can’t respect her after seeing her with the kids.  And she’s pregnant with number four—I can’t imagine how that will improve the mix.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI feel judgmental when I say that I can’t be friends with these women. I disagree with lots of people, including my sisters and my husband, about what good parenting looks like. There’s a lot of wiggle room in the equation. The mom down the street who is neurotic about safety; I think she’s over the top but she’s doing what she thinks is best. There’s much to respect even about various parenting strategies, and I have many friends who have do things in alternate ways.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI think the problem for me is how Kathy and Monica have essentially given up, even though their kids are still quite young. Yes, parenting is hella hard. Yes, I hate correcting my boys and making them go to bed and listen and a hundred other things. I’m frequently tempted to scrap it all and let them be in charge.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI don’t do it though. Maybe because I spent enough years teaching at an alternative high school where parents would talk to me, wanting to build a relationship with their teenager. Inevitably I would think, \u003cem\u003eit’s kind of too late. You have to work on that every day for fifteen years.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI don’t respect people who don’t take parenting seriously. This is the biggest deal out there. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but at least I’m trying. If you want to be my friend and you’ve got kids, it turns out I have some requirements.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat it comes down to is this: you have to be the adult. That doesn’t mean you get it right every time. It means you don’t let your kids boss you around, hit you, defy you, at every turn.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf that isn’t your vision of how you want things to be with your kids, then I guess we aren’t going to be able to hang out. I’m sorry.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/49f1a21b-1f55-4232-9d0b-7d808e9257a0?resourceVersion=id%3A56"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"c5274250-60c6-4adb-8bc9-1de3040d4718","drupal_internal__tid":33,"drupal_internal__revision_id":33,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-30T19:02:23+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Eliana Osborn","description":null,"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-30T19:02:23+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Eliana Osborn | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/33"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/c5274250-60c6-4adb-8bc9-1de3040d4718?resourceVersion=id%3A33"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":33},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource identifier."}}}}}],"relationshipNames":["vid","revision_user","parent"]},"field_image":{"type":"file--file","id":"ad911ae3-e2ea-4641-908e-2a749b730acc","drupal_internal__fid":33,"langcode":"en","filename":"pexels-stephen-andrews-9305112.jpg","uri":{"value":"public://2023-09/pexels-stephen-andrews-9305112.jpg","url":"/sites/default/files/2023-09/pexels-stephen-andrews-9305112.jpg"},"filemime":"image/jpeg","filesize":42413,"status":true,"created":"2023-09-30T19:08:55+00:00","changed":"2023-09-30T19:09:11+00:00","links":{"article_teaser_image":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_teaser_image/public/2023-09/pexels-stephen-andrews-9305112.jpg?itok=nAR1BMga","meta":{"width":"450","height":"257","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"featured_article":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/sites/default/files/styles/featured_article/public/2023-09/pexels-stephen-andrews-9305112.jpg?itok=XTueX-ku","meta":{"width":"870","height":"475","rel":["drupal://jsonapi/extensions/consumer_image_styles/links/relation-types/#derivative"]}},"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/file/file/ad911ae3-e2ea-4641-908e-2a749b730acc"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"alt":"Child having tantrum","title":"","width":640,"height":426,"drupal_internal__target_id":33},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"relationshipNames":["uid"]},"relationshipNames":["uid","field_author","field_image"]},{"type":"node--article","id":"731689c9-a563-48f9-a6d3-6b2a6ad697df","title":"An added benefit to nipple piercing","created":"2008-07-25T16:14:43+00:00","path":{"alias":"/mominatrix/nipple-piercings","pid":27,"langcode":"en"},"body":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eMost women will tell you that the nipples are the gateway to getting in their pants. But after having them tugged, grabbed, and pulled by a baby or toddler, for some women, they end up acting as nothing more than a decorative boob ornament or temperature gauge. Basically, even if Brad Pitt was licking them, or Angelina Jolie was squeezing them for some of you, they would just look up (or down, depending on how many kids you’ve breastfed), with a lifeless stare.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDead nipples are not an uncommon side effect to pregnancy and breastfeeding. Truthfully, most women tend to complain more about their saggy breasts since those tend to be a more common talking point at birthday parties and social events. Women can laugh about tucking their boobs into their belts, but bring up the useless nipples and eyebrows tend to go up.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd if you’re still able to climax, than a couple of lifeless areolae aren’t anything to get too upset about.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut for women who need a bit of nipple play to send them on their way to ecstasy or, for the chosen few that can climax from nipple stimulation alone, losing sensation can be a startling post-partum discovery.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo instead of letting their lifeless nipples get them down, women have been taking matters into their own hands and indulging in a simple procedure known as nipple piercing.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSurprised?\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat was once thought to be something for porn stars and pain freaks, nipple piercing has made its way into the homes of moms looking to gain back a little bit of what they lost with their breast milk.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerhaps the idea of getting a bar stuck through your nipple isn’t hugely enticing, but considering that you’ve pushed out a baby through your vagina or had one cut out of your uterus, the three-second pain of a needle through your nipple is probably equal to you stubbing your toe at this point in time. And for adoptive parents who have been put through on many an emotional roller coaster, a couple of tears over a bloody boob are probably a walk in the park.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe truth of the matter is that if you’ve ever had a newborn with a bad latch or been bitten at least once with those razor sharp incisors, then you can easily survive a nipple piercing. Besides, a quick scan of all the possible complications, like scabbing, tenderness, and possible infection, are all things you’ve probably had to deal with anyway, except at least this time, you don’t have a baby wailing at you from the other room or an annoying lactation consultant telling you that it will get better.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRest assured that most women who do get their nipples pierced report a much increased sensation. Well, either that or they’re just getting way better sex thanks to the hot silver rings they’re sporting. Clearly, there’s no better way to distract from your post-partum sagging breasts than with some snazzy shiny jewelry. Regardless of which way your boobs are pointing, it’s pretty hard to resist tugging on a couple of shiny bars or rolling them around in your mouth.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMake sure to schedule an appointment with a reputable piercing artist, keeping in mind that reputable doesn’t necessarily mean shiny clean walls and a convenient mall location. Granted, it might be tough to get a nipple piercing recommendation at your weekly playgroup, but consider the internet your friend and do research in your area.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd if you’re still planning on using your dead nipples to feed yet another mouth, most sources say that a nipple piercing will not interfere with the breastfeeding relationship -- although for safety reasons, you might want to take out your jewelry. Considering the suction of a nursing baby can compete with a Dyson, you probably don’t want to risk them choking on your nipple ring.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eClearly getting a needle stuck in your nipple might be an extreme solution to what is most likely very low on your list. But considering you went through almost all of what’s involved in a nipple piercing and sometimes more just for the sake of your beautiful child, what’s another round of Lansinoh and soothing gel packs for the sake of your own pleasure?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBesides, you probably still have all that shit lying around anyway. Might as well put it to good use.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eMost women will tell you that the nipples are the gateway to getting in their pants. But after having them tugged, grabbed, and pulled by a baby or toddler, for some women, they end up acting as nothing more than a decorative boob ornament or temperature gauge. Basically, even if Brad Pitt was licking them, or Angelina Jolie was squeezing them for some of you, they would just look up (or down, depending on how many kids you’ve breastfed), with a lifeless stare.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDead nipples are not an uncommon side effect to pregnancy and breastfeeding. Truthfully, most women tend to complain more about their saggy breasts since those tend to be a more common talking point at birthday parties and social events. Women can laugh about tucking their boobs into their belts, but bring up the useless nipples and eyebrows tend to go up.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd if you’re still able to climax, than a couple of lifeless areolae aren’t anything to get too upset about.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut for women who need a bit of nipple play to send them on their way to ecstasy or, for the chosen few that can climax from nipple stimulation alone, losing sensation can be a startling post-partum discovery.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo instead of letting their lifeless nipples get them down, women have been taking matters into their own hands and indulging in a simple procedure known as nipple piercing.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSurprised?\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat was once thought to be something for porn stars and pain freaks, nipple piercing has made its way into the homes of moms looking to gain back a little bit of what they lost with their breast milk.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerhaps the idea of getting a bar stuck through your nipple isn’t hugely enticing, but considering that you’ve pushed out a baby through your vagina or had one cut out of your uterus, the three-second pain of a needle through your nipple is probably equal to you stubbing your toe at this point in time. And for adoptive parents who have been put through on many an emotional roller coaster, a couple of tears over a bloody boob are probably a walk in the park.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe truth of the matter is that if you’ve ever had a newborn with a bad latch or been bitten at least once with those razor sharp incisors, then you can easily survive a nipple piercing. Besides, a quick scan of all the possible complications, like scabbing, tenderness, and possible infection, are all things you’ve probably had to deal with anyway, except at least this time, you don’t have a baby wailing at you from the other room or an annoying lactation consultant telling you that it will get better.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRest assured that most women who do get their nipples pierced report a much increased sensation. Well, either that or they’re just getting way better sex thanks to the hot silver rings they’re sporting. Clearly, there’s no better way to distract from your post-partum sagging breasts than with some snazzy shiny jewelry. Regardless of which way your boobs are pointing, it’s pretty hard to resist tugging on a couple of shiny bars or rolling them around in your mouth.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMake sure to schedule an appointment with a reputable piercing artist, keeping in mind that reputable doesn’t necessarily mean shiny clean walls and a convenient mall location. Granted, it might be tough to get a nipple piercing recommendation at your weekly playgroup, but consider the internet your friend and do research in your area.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd if you’re still planning on using your dead nipples to feed yet another mouth, most sources say that a nipple piercing will not interfere with the breastfeeding relationship -- although for safety reasons, you might want to take out your jewelry. Considering the suction of a nursing baby can compete with a Dyson, you probably don’t want to risk them choking on your nipple ring.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eClearly getting a needle stuck in your nipple might be an extreme solution to what is most likely very low on your list. But considering you went through almost all of what’s involved in a nipple piercing and sometimes more just for the sake of your beautiful child, what’s another round of Lansinoh and soothing gel packs for the sake of your own pleasure?\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBesides, you probably still have all that shit lying around anyway. Might as well put it to good use.\u003c/p\u003e","summary":""},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/node/article/731689c9-a563-48f9-a6d3-6b2a6ad697df?resourceVersion=id%3A34"}},"uid":{"type":"user--user","id":"29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d","display_name":"imperfectadmin","links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/user/user/29311c3e-af09-4125-b2c5-045dda67e13d"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":1}},"field_author":{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"e5d1537c-b4d5-4600-8290-35c65c838cb7","drupal_internal__tid":16,"drupal_internal__revision_id":16,"langcode":"en","revision_created":"2023-09-07T16:12:03+00:00","revision_log_message":null,"status":true,"name":"Kristen Chase","description":{"value":"\u003cp\u003eKristen Chase left a job as a college music professor for her current career as stay-at-home-mother of four. When she's not perusing the local adult bookstores and foot fetish websites, she is the publisher and CEO of \u003ca href=\"https://www.coolmompicks.com\"\u003eCool Mom Picks\u003c/a\u003e and \u003ca href=\"https://www.coolmomtech.com\"\u003eCool Mom Tech\u003c/a\u003e, and writes on her personal blog, \u003ca href=\"https://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com\"\u003eMotherhood Uncensored\u003c/a\u003e, as well as various other online outlets. Her book, \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Mominatrixs-Guide-Sex-No-Surrender-Naughty/dp/1605503614?\u0026amp;_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;tag=imperparen04-20\u0026amp;linkCode=ur2\u0026amp;linkId=3c80de10b16562d624921db3d18030be\u0026amp;camp=1789\u0026amp;creative=9325\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Mominatrix's Guide to Sex\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/a\u003e, was published in 2010.\u003c/p\u003e","format":"full_html","processed":"\u003cp\u003eKristen Chase left a job as a college music professor for her current career as stay-at-home-mother of four. When she's not perusing the local adult bookstores and foot fetish websites, she is the publisher and CEO of \u003ca href=\"https://www.coolmompicks.com\"\u003eCool Mom Picks\u003c/a\u003e and \u003ca href=\"https://www.coolmomtech.com\"\u003eCool Mom Tech\u003c/a\u003e, and writes on her personal blog, \u003ca href=\"https://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com\"\u003eMotherhood Uncensored\u003c/a\u003e, as well as various other online outlets. Her book, \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Mominatrixs-Guide-Sex-No-Surrender-Naughty/dp/1605503614?\u0026amp;_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;tag=imperparen04-20\u0026amp;linkCode=ur2\u0026amp;linkId=3c80de10b16562d624921db3d18030be\u0026amp;camp=1789\u0026amp;creative=9325\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Mominatrix's Guide to Sex\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/a\u003e, was published in 2010.\u003c/p\u003e"},"weight":0,"changed":"2023-09-07T16:12:03+00:00","default_langcode":true,"revision_translation_affected":true,"metatag":[{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"title","content":"Kristen Chase | Imperfect Parent"}},{"tag":"meta","attributes":{"name":"description","content":"Kristen Chase left a job as a college music professor for her current career as stay-at-home-mother of four. When she's not perusing the local adult bookstores and foot fetish websites, she is the publisher and CEO of Cool Mom Picks and Cool Mom Tech, and writes on her personal blog, Motherhood Uncensored, as well as various other online outlets. Her book, The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex, was published in 2010."}},{"tag":"link","attributes":{"rel":"canonical","href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/taxonomy/term/16"}}],"path":{"alias":null,"pid":null,"langcode":"en"},"links":{"self":{"href":"https://cms.imperfectparent.com/jsonapi/taxonomy_term/author/e5d1537c-b4d5-4600-8290-35c65c838cb7?resourceVersion=id%3A16"}},"resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":16},"vid":{"type":"taxonomy_vocabulary--taxonomy_vocabulary","id":"ffe76086-1a8f-4105-97d7-28b448b4e0c1","resourceIdObjMeta":{"drupal_internal__target_id":"author"}},"revision_user":null,"parent":[{"type":"taxonomy_term--author","id":"virtual","resourceIdObjMeta":{"links":{"help":{"href":"https://www.drupal.org/docs/8/modules/json-api/core-concepts#virtual","meta":{"about":"Usage and meaning of the 'virtual' resource 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