Minutes Worth Hours

To Be or Not To Be a Parent: 5 Things to Consider Before Having Children

2013-09-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

On the fence or having doubts about having children? You're probably right. Having a baby changes EVERYTHING! And it's better to think about it over and over and be completely sure, before you take the first step on the most important journey of your life (and that of your partner and the child(ren) you're thinking about having).
Several women in my life have told me they do not want to have children, and I have nothing but respect for their choice. I love being a mother, but it's not an easy job! I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be if I didn't happen to love it.

Below are five things to run through your mind when deciding whether or not to have children. It's a personal list, so feel free to add or subtract in comments below!

Why do you want to have children?
Probably the most important question to ask yourself is "Why?". There's no right or wrong answer. Just asking the question will clarify things for yourself.
For example: when we were thinking about it I found research that said that couples without children are happier than those with children. I knew, however, that I wanted a life with as much of the human experience as possible, both good and bad, and that children were a part of that.
What are your expectations?The worse the better! I'm serious. If you're expecting to get covered in poop while being exhausted and going crazy over a screaming newborn, you're likely to really appreciate the moments your little bundle of joy is sleeping peacefully. If you're expecting to get lots of writing done while your baby is sleeping (um, yes, I thought that would happen) think again!
What's your baby experience?
Have you ever looked after a baby for a couple of hours, a whole day? It can throw a clear light on the whole matter. My sister decided to wait a while after she spent some time with our family and saw how much a child can determine your day-to-day activities.
Can you give it all up?
A clean house, romantic breakfasts, peaceful evenings, clean clothes, dinner with friends, day-trips, weekends, hobbies? They'll all go out the window, at least for the first few years (depending on how many children you have, and what they're like). Make sure your relationship can taken some shaking too, because tired and grumpy partners are hard to live with.
Are you in it for the long run?
I know, it's cliche advice, but in the end if you're heart is in it, all the rest will work itself out. Children grow up fast and before you know it, they're leaving you and you'll be tearing up over it (so I've heard). You don't need tons of money, a house, a car to have a baby. You'll learn to function on less sleep than you thought possible and on a less than existent social life. And the love you feel for this one person becomes the overpowering reason for your existence.

Does that sound like paradise? Then you may just be ready to have children. Remember to take all advice with a grain of salt (including this) and follow your instincts. If all other mammals can keep their cubs, young, piglets or calves alive, I'm sure you'll do just fine!

Soothing a Sick Child

2013-09-14T02:39:00.000-07:00

J. Bond Francisco

My little girl was sick last week. Two nights of no sleep took their toll on both baby and Mama (and Daddy too, actually) so the time was right for some reminders of how to keep everyone as sane as possible while going through the roughest patch.

A sick child is a different child. Their character changes, but all this is to reflect their new needs. These are some of the things I did to help my little girl feel as well as she could:

A sick child wants to be with someone all the time. If you think about it, that makes perfect sense. When being sick, you need to be nurtured back to health, so being glued to a care-taker is a normal survival instinct. I used my carrier to carry her and let her sleep on my chest.

Special times call for special treats: lots of cuddles, special toys, story time.

When my baby is sick she doesn't care so much for food other than breastmilk. So I nurse her as often as she wants, as long as she likes.

Getting as much sleep as possible during the day is easier when you spend time in bed together, playing, reading books. Even if she didn't sleep like she used to, lying down would help her rest a little.

To keep ourselves somewhat alive during this time of no sleep and lots of crying, Daddy and I took turns taking care of Savannah and tried to focus as much as possible on staying positive: It's only temporary!

Obviously these tips work for short-term illnesses but you may need a whole other set of skills for a child facing a chronic illness. Either way, seeing your child suffer is always heartbreaking and having others around to support you makes a huge difference! Turn to friends, family or the good old internet and accept all help with open arms!

The Large Effect of Little Things

2013-08-22T12:22:00.001-07:00

Image by JJ Harrison

Now couldn't that be a title of a book? Or a movie? Well, it's not. It's the title of this blog post and inspired by a small creature that has been making our lives miserable. No, I'm not talking about our 16 month old, she's actually quite delightful, I'm talking about the musquitoes that terrorize us every night. Neither me nor my dear husband are very tolerant of buzzing, stinging insects, so having heard them once, we'll pretty much drift in and out of sleep for the rest of the night. The next morning we're both horrendously grumpy while trying not to be and the try to forget about the whole thing, only to have it repeat the next day.

... but I'm not one to complain.

Instead, I want to draw a valuable life lesson from it because, well, that's what makes the whole thing seem less annoying and I have something to write about. Hence the title.

Life lesson of the day:

When looking in morose fashion at how incredibly sad, ugly and violent this world is, think of the little mosquito and it's huge effect. I bet there is something that you can do to have an effect that is much bigger than you are as well. No, don't go bug someone by dancing around buzzing and ruining their day. Instead, think of something positive you could do, for yourself or for others. A kind word to someone who looks down could make their day. Treating the office to chocolates could cheer up the entire floor. Taking time to relax could benefit your health in the long run.

Every action we do has a ripple effect on our future, whether it's internal or external (through brain chemistry and body chemistry thoughts become feelings and physcial actions, so internal versus external is really not much of a difference.)

Do something small today and see something big tomorrow. (Or be patient and wait a little longer. You can learn how to patient here.)

5 tips on how to be patient

2013-07-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

Photo by Daniel Schwen

Being patient is not a luxury. With how much there is to do every day, it seems like we spend an awful lot of time waiting around for stuff to happen. Think about waiting for the bus, or the mail, or standing in line at the grocery store.

With people too we need to practice patience. If you have children, you'll know what I mean. If you don't have children, think of other peoples' children and you'll know what I mean.

So how do you do it? How do you become a patient person? Below I'll give some tips on how to be patient for those out there who haven't got a clue, or just need a bit of patient advice.

Become religious. It's much easier to wait around for stuff to happen if you believe that God/Allah/the Flying Spaghetti Monster has a plan for you that is unfolding as we speak. If you are too old for fairytales, move on to 2.
Recognize that you have a problem. If you're waiting and hopping, biting your nails, looking left and right, swearing under your breath or, worse, swearing out loud, you may have an issue with patience. Recognize that this is perfectly human and you are now willing to change your misery.
Take a deep breath and relax. Recognize that the situation you are dealing with is beyond your control (or if it's not, ask yourself why you're letting yourself suffer without changing it, that's just weird!). Try to let go of wanting to control it and just go with the flow. Pay attention to your surroundings and try to observe where you are, who you are with, what it's like to be alive!
Use your time to let your mind wander. We don't do this nearly enough! Think of something you've been pondering for a while and give it your full attention. I bet you time will be flying by!
When dealing with difficult people (toddlers for example) try to imagine the other person's state of mind and point of view. Whomever you're dealing with may not be able to think straight (or not have the mental capacity to do so, like the toddler) or feel overwhelmed by emotion. Not a good time to loose your cool. Feel confident that this will change in a couple of hours (if you're lucky) or years (toddler-case).

I've been blessed with quite a bit of patience, but also with a child that's finding new ways every day to test it. Therefore, any extra tips you may have to offer, please shoot them my way!

Picking up where you left off

2013-07-09T13:09:00.001-07:00

Right, it's been a while. Now that we've got that covered, let me say I want to pick this thing up a little bit again. I thought I'd just jump right in and give a glimpse of why I need Minutes Worth Hours now more than ever:

I'm now a full-time stay-at-home mom of a 15-month-old
My husband works full time
Two weeks ago I started my own business as a translator/(copy)writer
I try to keep a vegetable patch with my mother
We use cloth diapers and practice attachment parenting

And yet, so my dear husband points out, I still want to do more more more. Obviously I find myself without time to do it and too tired to keep up with anything. Yoga? Hasn't happened in months. Ironing? Three loads waiting upstairs.

But, I am happy. We've got the most important bases covered. We make enough to cover our expenses. Our baby girl can stay at home instead of go to daycare and, most important of all, she's happy!

So what's my advice for today?

While you're running behind on your chores trying to get everything done and realizing you can't possible manage ... take a breath. Reflect and see if you've got the main things covered that you find of importance.

If there's anything I've learned having a baby it's that the details don't really matter. What you find important in life, that's what should take up your time and effort.

In the mean time, try not to flinch when your friend glances at the dirty dishes in the sink.

As a WAHM I've got some new tips and tricks that I accumulated over the months and will be sharing with you guys. One little piece at a time! Feel like sharing? Comment below or share on facebook to get the conversation started!

How to Keep Breakfast Interesting

2012-11-03T15:31:00.001-07:00

Photo by Celeste Lidell

Breakfast is a big deal for us. We get up early and are active from the first minute, so we need solid fuel to keep the engine running. But having the same ol' cereal for breakfast can get boring pretty quickly, not to mention unhealthy. That's why I included breakfast in our meal planning schedule, and it's a different breakfast each day of the week.

When you plan what, doesn't really matter. But to keep it simple and save time, you can stick to the same plan for each week. That way you can also alternate between high protein and high fiber breakfast meals.

Our schedule is as follows:

Monday: pancakes
Tuesday: oatmeal
Wednesday: toast & eggs
Thursday: crepes
Friday: cold cereal/muesli
Saturday: French toast
Sunday: yogurt & fruit

When you make crepes & pancakes often, it become a routine and goes much faster than the first time around. I usually put at least half whole wheat flour for each of those. By the way, making crepes is simpler than making pancakes.

Keep your breakfasts diverse by adding small little extra's to your regular meals. Pancakes become an extra nice treat if you add a fruit, or chocolate chips. I'll have more tips on how to spice up your oatmeal in a future post!

If you're short on time and need some quick options for breakfast: check out my post on 5-minute breakfast options.

Do you eat breakfast? Or skip on it altogether? What's your favorite breakfast food?

My 5 Best Time & Money Saver Tips for Future Parents

2012-11-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

Breastfeeding in public: always ready and always free!

Alright, so after 6 months with a baby, I feel that I've learned quite a bit about what helps to save time and worry. These are tips I either heard, or wish I had heard, before having our little girl.

Breastfeed!
If you can, of course. I know a lot of women who've tried and where it didn't work out. But if you're still on the fence and there's no physical or practical impediment you can't work around, go for it! It will save you lots of time and money! And it's pretty much hassle free.
Diaper bag ready to go.
It's been really handy having a diaper bag ready at all times. There's wipes, a few diapers, some burp cloths, a change of clothes and some plastic bags to take dirty clothes home. I just toss in a few of her favorite toys before we leave the house and I'm good to go. No need to worry about forgetting anything.
Use a baby carrier.
It's extremely handy to have your baby with you at all times so you don't have to worry about not hearing him/her cry or whether or not they're still breathing. Baby loves it too, by the way.
Shop online.
Supplies like diapers and wipes I buy online and have delivered to the door instead of going out for them. I buy disposable diapers for going out and use cloth ones at home. I use www.diapers.com.
Buy used gear/clothes/etc.
So much cheaper and you're sure to get stuff that stands the test of time and the test of baby-gums! I actually asked people for used stuff as birth gifts as well and got some incredibly useful and unique items.

I'll blog about some of these issues again, I'm sure, but for now that's what I want to leave you with. If there's anyone out there who might be interested in this advice, feel free to steer them this way.

If you have advice to offer on the subject, as I'm sure all Mom's out there do, share share share!

Moments That Matter Journal

2012-10-26T16:30:00.003-07:00

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Forget about minutes that are worth hours. Some seconds in your life are worth centuries and then some because of their intense quality. They are the moments that make up your life and that, put together, might be the one movie you'd never get tired of.

Intense emotion has the ability to stretch time. And some moments have this emotional charge. Looking at my little girl's face, it seems like I'm floating into eternity. And anyone who's ever fallen in love knows what I mean when I say that a look can last a lifetime.

Today, I want to urge you to cherish those moments of pure living in the moment, and to write them down. Keep a Moments That Matter Journal.

Pick a notebook that you can keep on your bedside table (so the size of the notebook kind of depends on the size of that table). In nice, swirley letters, write "Moments That Matter Journal" on the first page.
Now, every night, before going to bed, think of a moment that day that really mattered. One that you think will stick with you in the long run.
Mind, this doens't have to be a 'happy happy joy joy' kind of journal. Life's made up of all kinds of moments, and the happy ones are only some of them. Moments of intense pain, sadness, fear, surprise, love, etc., all have a place.

What moment in the last week would make it into your journal? I hope you'll share in the comments below! Let me know you're out there!

Getting Stuff Done With a New Baby

2012-10-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Using the tri-cotti carrier

Hello my old friend. After 6 months this blog is like a glimpse of what life was like pre-baby. By now we've been parents for exactly half a year (today our daughter is six months old) and nobody could have predicted how different life would be.

This blog will undoubtedly reflect our new life with lots of tips for parents with babies and young children, but those of you who don't have any offspring or who's chicks have matured into full-fledged birds won't go without either. Many of the posts will cater to both, so stick with me. Plus, in case you're ever called upon to babysit, you'll know where to look!

Clearly, finding time to do pretty much anything has become quite difficult. It only took me half a year to find a moment to write this post. But there are some tricks to finding spare time when you have a baby that I've been able to try out myself. Feel free to add your own in the comments! I can ALWAYS use an extra couple of minutes!!!

Tip number one: Don't have kids! The only way not to have children take over your life is not to have any. I used to imagine long hours of writing while baby took her naps. Hahahaha! I imagine all those people who already have children must have found it hard not to laugh at my naive image.
Nap first! As a new mom I've felt pretty much tired every single day since the day baby was born. And I know I'm not the only one. Trying to get stuff done while you're tired is like drying off under a running shower: It never ends. Sleep is essential to your physical health, mental health and, not in the least, your relationships! And a rested mommy is worth ten tired ones!
Use baby's nap time. When our little girl's asleep, we try to get as much done as possible before she wakes up again. That doesn't mean we'll finish it all, but it's a start!
Carry baby around. I use a babylonia bb-sling to carry baby on my hip while I hang up laundry, chop veggies, vacuum the house. And Daddy uses it just as much! Baby is entertained and learns a great deal at the same time.
Chillax! Don't worry about the stuff that doesn't get done, it'll end up stressing you out every single moment of the day.

Life may be completely different with a new baby, but you will find a new normal. Keep in mind as well that most children do eventually grow up to become independent beings. By the time they turn 15, you'll be fighting to spend time WITH them instead of on your own.

Do Double by Doing Half

2012-04-20T23:47:00.001-07:00

Picture by Richard North

My tasks these days have become a little less glamorous than they used to be, but I still have chores and things I want to accomplish each day. The only problem is that I don't always have the energy to do it all at once anymore.
Rather than not doing anything at all, or delegating to my dearest husband (who would do anything I ask him, but how unfair would that be?), I split up tasks to make them more manageable.
I start by just doing half of what I have to do. And then I cut whatever's left in half again.

Say you have to finish a report, write a blog post, do a load of ironing. Tell yourself that for now it will suffice to just do half the report/blog post/load of wrinklies. After that you deserve a break (grab a cup of coffee or practice corpse pose for a couple of minutes). When you come back to the second half of the task, do the same thing. Cut it in half again, and take another break. Keep doing this until whatever's left of the task is so small that you would just rather finish it right away.

So which task did I have to use this on? I almost feel embarrassed to tell you, but in the spirit of full disclosure, I'll do it anyways: I had to slice 4 loaves of bread by hand yesterday, and it just seemed like too much to do at once. I sliced two, took a break, than one, rested for a bit, then the other. I still got the job done quite quickly since the break times took no more than 5-10 minutes, but I didn't feel stressed and rushed because I took care of my myself in the process.

What do you think? Wanna give it a try? Let me know how it went!

5 Easy Steps to (Re)generate Energy

2012-04-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

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Today my mom said something that struck home for me. She said that she felt that it just wasn't her day. She lacked the want or the energy to do pretty much anything. She wouldn't be my mom if that meant she'd actually not done anything. Of course she still went on to cook lunch, take care of laundry, go shopping for a parasol with my dad and went out to eat in the evening. Still, it bothered her and she was thinking of ways to fix that problem. Since I often encounter the same issue, I thought we might not be the only ones and that there must be some things we can do to remedy this kind of situation.

Prevention.
The best way to not have to fix a situation is to prevent it. I find that it can help to plan your day early in the morning or the night before. Make a rough sketch of how you'd like it to go and let that be your guide throughout the day. You can read my previous post on how to visualize your day.
Stay hydrated.We often forget to drink enough water, and it shows. Water makes up a huge percentage of who we are and what we can do, and lack of energy is one of the major signs of dehydration. Try to keep a bottle of water with you at all times to remind yourself.
Move often.Feel like you've run out of energy? Get up and move around. It'll get your blood flowing and thus bring more oxygen to your brain and muscles. Can't get motivated to move? Think of an appealing reward such as more couch time but without the guilt once you get some work done.
Crank up the music. When you are energized, your heartbeat increases. When your heartbeat increases, you get more energy. So how do you raise your pulse? Put on some music that has a good beat. It'll also pump you up mentally. If it gets you dancing you've scored double!
Breathe deeply.Close your eyes for a couple of seconds and focus on taking deep breaths. The deepest ones you can take. Imagine the air revitalizing you from the inside out, reaching every part of your body. Remember to push your belly forward when you inhale, so the air fills your lungs completely. This is another great way to pump oxygen through your system. More on breathing in this post from a while ago.

These are just a couple of ways I like to regain my energy when I'm in a slump, but there's tons more. What do you do when you feel like every bit of energy has leeched from your body and you need a boost?

I love to hear tips from others in case I run out of stuff that works at a given moment.

Take Time to Set Up

2012-04-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

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I love to do a whole range of different activities. I enjoy writing, crafts, reading, playing board games, to only name a few. Each activity comes with its own set of necessary tools, and the tip I want to give today is one that will save you time whatever it is you need to do or enjoy doing.
One of the most important things for me when it comes to a task, is getting a proper start. I don't want to start making dinner only to have to head out for onions 10 minutes later. I don't like to start ironing only to find I forgot to get water. You get the idea.

So how do we avoid this? You make sure to take the time to set up properly. It only takes a couple of minutes (provided you don't have to run out to buy onions), but saves you lots more time and will make you much happier.

When you think of the activity you want to do, try to mentally run through the different steps in your mind. With each step, try to see in your mind what you're using and get that ready. If there are a whole lot of steps, take time to write down a list of what you need now so you can always refer back to it later.

It also helps to keep your materials together. If you enjoy knitting (like I do), don't keep your yarn in one room and needles in the other. Make sure you have it packed together so you can just take out the whole package at a time.
It can help to keep a bottle of water next to your iron board, keep your cleaning materials together, your pencils and erasers. Organization is key here.

BUT don't make the mistake of always taking out ALL the materials that are kept in one place. You don't need a meat cleaver to slice tomatoes. You don't need a head set to write an email.

Getting your stuff ready ahead of time especially matters in activities like cooking, baking or painting, where your hands get too dirty to start rummaging around for stuff once you've gotten yourself all messy.
Are you someone who takes time to set up everything or do you find yourself running back and forth for the first fifteen minutes?
Feel free to comment below!

Improve Your Sleep with 5 Minutes Relaxation

2012-04-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

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Sleep is one of those things that pregnant women and young mothers learn to say goodbye too. After a while, a solid night's sleep seems like a faraway memory, although a very fond one indeed.

During the course that my husband and I have been taking, however, the midwife showed us some relaxation techniques and I am always pleasantly surprised at how well I sleep after these exercises. I've learned that letting go of tension you build up during the day is key to falling asleep easily and resting comfortably (at least until the next bathroom break).
Below I'll give you some of the tips that she gave us for relaxing your body in about five minutes. No excuse for lack of time here.

Settle yourself down on the bed in a position that is comfortable. Most people will lay down on their back or their side. Breath slowly letting each exhalation go completely before breathing in again.Let your mind wander over the different parts of your body and first tense the muscles, to then release them. Start with your face and make a big frown, tensing all your facial muscles. Then slowly let your face relax completely, paying attention to every single area. In the same way go down your jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, stomach, and so on, until you reach your toes. Feel the tension drain from every part of your body with each breath out.

Even if you don't use this to fall asleep, it can feel great when you find you have a nagging pain somewhere. Often this is the result of muscles that are too tense because of sitting in the same position or making the same motion each time.

Let me know if it worked for you!

Easter for Everyone

2012-04-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

Posting has been a rare activity lately, I'm aware, but I'm not abandoning the blog. I'm just on pregnancy-birth-baby sabbatical.
In the mean time I sometimes lose track of all the tips that I've offered you throughout the year (it's almost the first anniversary of this blog), so I reread posts from time to time to remind myself.

Today I want to talk about Easter. As many of you know by now, I'm not religious, so Easter for me has no special meaning. What do I get with Easter? Lots of memories from the time I was a kid, mostly including chocolate (I'm Belgian, what did you expect?).

This year I celebrate Easter with my mind on new beginnings. Easter usually falls in that time of Spring when the first blossoms are blooming and the birds are building their nests. As I'm building my nest to welcome our baby into the world as well, I love to look outside and take a moment to notice the incredible power that inspires all this new growth.

After a cold, gray and harsh Winter, it's sometimes hard to imagine where Nature gets the energy to start all over again and create new life from seemingly nothing. But we know that the death from Winter is no more than a cover for the dormant life underneath. Deep within the roots of plants and within the bodies of sleeping animals is a patient power waiting for the right moment to break out and make a new start.

After months of darkness and a lack of sunlight, we often feel drained as well. Keep in mind though that we also have this reserve of energy deep within us waiting to burst through. Observe yourself, mentally and physically, on the first sunny Spring day, and you'll know what I'm talking about. Know that this power is there to tap into whenever you want, just create that image of the coming sun in your mind and you'll start to feel your spirits lift. Go outside and be amazed at the buds bursting from the branches.

I'm going for a walk to do just that! Happy Easter, no matter how you celebrate, and a Happy Spring!

Triple Inspiration in a Single Minute

2012-02-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

It's been a couple of months since I've had the pleasure of gathering quotes again for this blog, and I've missed it. I love the quick inspiration I get from reading a powerful quote and how I can share my thoughts quickly and efficiently.

So here they are again: 3 quotes to start off your week with an extra bit of pizazz.

Get Productive!

“Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year – and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade!”
(Tony Robbins)

Get Happy!

"The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does."

(James M. Barrie)

Get Inspired!

"The power of imagination makes us infinite!"

(John Muir)

Let Someone Help

2012-02-18T07:00:00.000-08:00

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We live in a culture where independence and self-reliance are valued much more than cooperation or the ability to ask for help. But with that we not only make it more difficult for ourselves, we also limit the people around us. Being able to help a friend, a family member, someone in need, is a great boost to your mood and your feelings of self-worth.

So today I want to urge you to allow someone to help you, because it's a win-win situation. You get someone on your team helping you achieve what you want and you offer the other person the opportunity to feel and do good.

When your partner offers to cook you dinner, when your best friend asks to get you something for your birthday or when a colleague wants to take some work off your desk ... let them!
Remember how enjoyable it is to help someone? Why would you want to take that feeling away from the people that care about you?
We often feel that accepting help is the same as admitting weakness or that it chips away at our independence. We don't want to be demanding, needy.
An offer to help, however, is a chance to do something for someone else, too. See it that way and you may discover that you can exchange favors and grow closer instead of each trying to do everything on their own.

I'm in my third trimester and definitely need a bit of extra help. My husband has been great about helping me out, and my sincere appreciation and increased comfort makes it all worth it for him. It draws us closer in a time where it's really just my body going through these changes and the hubby can just see my belly grow but can't feel what I feel. This way we're already cooperating even though the baby is not born yet. It's a wonderful feeling for both of us.

Do you find it hard to let people help you? Do you offer to help others only to find they can't accept your help? Feel free to share below!

Set a Priority - Break the Rut

2012-02-17T07:00:00.000-08:00

Photo by Stephen McKay

Ever find yourself just going through the motions of life without any particular goal in mind? You go to work, cook dinner, watch TV, go to the occasional family gathering and party, and each year blends into the next without anything changing much.

Coming back to the US after being gone for over 4 years we were surprised to find how little some things have changed, notably the people around us. Our last 4 years were full of exciting goals we pursued and consequently arrived at, so it's sometimes unsettling to see how others get stuck in a rut and don't even seem to notice the time going by. It's mostly unsettling because from past experience I know how easy it is to get into a rut like that, and how difficult it is to escape once you do.

I'll make today's 5 minute task a simple one to get started on creating a life that is meaningful and fulfilling. All you have to do is set a priority. Choose an area in your life: family, health, work, relationships, etc; that you will view as your priority for a certain amount of time. It can be a priority for a day, for a week, a month, a year.

Then think of what you would like to achieve in this area. Do you want to spend more time with your family? Are you hoping to lose some pounds? Do you want to start exercising more regularly?
Having this priority set will already make you feel more goal oriented and inspired, and help you set the stage for true action.

I'm someone who'd much rather actively create my life and my circumstances than undergo them passively. It does take energy and effort however, and it is never easy to become pro-active once you're used to the comfort of letting life wash over you. Just keep in mind that you can and should be pro-active about doing nothing sometimes too! Watching TV on purpose because you happen to enjoy a certain show or because you really just want to vege out for a day is totally different from plopping down on the couch cause that's just what you usually do.

What are your thoughts? Are you stuck in a rut? Did you ever break out of one? Share below!

Final Five Review

2012-02-16T07:00:00.000-08:00

Photo by Michael Coghlan

Wow, it's been a while, right? My last post dates from around Christmas, but I don't want you thinking I've been sitting on my bum doing nothing for the last two months. In that time we rounded up our lives in China and flew across the Pacific. Now we're living in Los Angeles, setting up for our lives with a new baby, only to fly to Belgium next week to actually have that baby.

Being focused, driven and productive in a time like that is not easy, but all the more important. There are so many things to get done and the lack of structure means that without concentration some tasks keep falling through the cracks.

So what we did was take the last minutes of each day and go over what we had accomplished and what was still left to do.

The best time to do this is right before going to bed. I suggest taking pen and paper to write down anything you might need to remember. Go over the day by yourself, or with your significant other, and congratulate yourself and each other on what you have accomplished. Even if it was a lazy day and all you did was go out to lunch with the in-laws, acknowledge that this is an important part of life too!

Then go over the tasks that you still have left to do and think of a time to do them. It could be as simple as planning to do them the next day or later. Just keeping them in mind is what helps.

Doing this and reminding ourselves of our responsibilities ensured that we got a lot done but were still very flexible. More on the importance of flexibility later!

Worth Every Minute: Brain in Love

2012-02-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, which isn't a really big deal to us since we're quite romantic most of the year. It is one of the only times a year, however, that I get flowers. I don't know why, but it just sort of worked out that way.
This year we decided that in the future we will celebrate this flower-day on February 15th or 16th to benefit from the post-Valentine discount.

So today I want to share some romance not inspired by Valentine's but by scientific research instead. The following link will lead to a TED talk on how our brain functions when we're in love and why romantic love is something to take very seriously!

Helen Fisher also shows why falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back only makes things worse, that animals do share the same feelings even if only for a second, and the difference between intimacy between women and men.

The video is 15 minutes, but worth every second! Interesting and entertaining. Enjoy!

Helen Fisher studies the brain in love

Spreading Christmas Cheer!

2011-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

Picture by Stephen Durham

It's the tinsel-carol-jingle time of year again. My absolute favorite holiday. But I'm spending it in a country that doesn't care so much about it. So how do you get into the Christmas spirit when others around you don't care so much?

Find others who do. Spend your time with people doing something very Christmas-y, like caroling or making sugar cookies in cute Christmas shapes.

Decorate. Use some lights, cut out some decorations if you don't have any, in short make the room more express the Christmas cheer for you.

Watch a Christmas movie. My favorite is Love Actually, always gets me in the mood for Christmas.

Listen to Christmas music. They can get on your nerves sometimes, sure, but those good old classics will definitely set the right tone.

Read a Christmas story. A first one that comes to mind is 'A Christmas Carol', but there are many more. They're hart warming and a great way to get into the giving spirit yourself.

We've just moved to a new apartment that doesn't have Internet to await the time when we will move to the US. Until that time I won't be able to update (end of January, probably).
Hopefully you'll find plenty of other blogs to keep you busy, and I promise to get back to blogging as soon as possible!

Happy Holidays!
Jorinde

Ten 5-Minute Tips for a Happy Marriage

2011-12-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

5 years ago ...

Today is our wedding anniversary. The 5th one already and probably the last one we'll be celebrating with just the two of us for a while. After this year, we'll have our little one with us, so we'll be making the most out of the time we have left.

Five years is not a very long stretch, but we have both already learned a lot during this time. We come from very different back-grounds and got married quickly and unexpectedly in order to be able to stay together. That meant we had to figure out some stuff along the way.

One of the reasons we are so happily married is that we love to do stuff for each other. Treating your partner doesn't have to take a lot of time or preparation.
Here are some of the things we have surprised each other with over the years:

Do a chore
We both love to come home and find the place cleaner than we left it. Just a little clearing away can already make a big difference. It doesn't take much time, but the effect is very noticeable. My hubby loves coming home and finding the dishes are done, for example.
Leave a note
Finding a note with a sweet message is always a lovely surprise. You can leave them at home or put them in between a book they're reading.
Give a back rub
Especially a tense partner, but really anyone, enjoys the relaxing feeling of a massage. Just sneak up behind them and massage the shoulders and neck. It can make someone relax instantly and feel connected again even if they're mind is busy working over-time.
Bring a treat
I love it when my husband brings home a chocolate muffin that I didn't expect, and vice versa. We don't do it too often, so it stays surprising.
Plan some together time
When we are home together, it's sometimes easy to just each settle by ourselves (him in front of the computer, me doing my cross-stitch) and not take advantage of the time we have together. It's always nice when we make a plan to spend at least some time playing a game together or watching a movie. Be pro-active here and don't wait for your partner. If they are too busy, they'll let you know when you ask.
Prepare conversation topics
It's not a sign of a bad relationship if you prepare topics to talk about. My husband and I can talk for hours without them, but we've learned a lot about each other by using a book with couple's questions and working our way through them. There are just so many topics that never get brought up in daily conversation.
Ask questions
Communication is vital. Asking your partner questions about their day and their thoughts will make them feel like you really care. Pay attention to the answers and respond to them too. If they ask you something ("How was your day?") be sure to return the question too!
Say 'Thank You'
Showing appreciation for what your partner does can make any task seem worthwhile. I wouldn't do the dishes, ever, if I thought my husband didn't care at all. Knowing he appreciates what I do makes me want to do it. It makes all the difference!
Bring up a fond memory
You can use pictures or tell the story of a great time the two of you had together. "Remember when we..." It calls up all the feelings of that happy moment and brings them into the present moment. Using photo's and reminiscing about how different things were back then can show you both how far you've come and appreciate the time you've had together.
Cuddle, hug, kiss
A hug out of nowhere is the best treat. It's warming, comforting, reassuring, and a great reminder of how loved you are. I've written about kissing before in this post. Want to know about the benefits of hugging? You can read this post too.

What do you do to surprise your partner? If you're single, what do you expect from a partner in a long-term relationship?
Every relationship is different, but there's something to learn from each of them. Use the comments to share anything you want!

Worth Every Minute

2011-12-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

My advice from the doctor last week was to drink more water, because she feared I might be dehydrated. Naturally, I'm not one to argue, but I am one to inform myself, and that's how I came across the following article that I thought was really interesting. It talks about the health benefits of drinking water, and how it can help you stay fit by burning fat and nurturing your muscles.

It's a short article, a 2-minute read at most. Hopefully it'll inspire you to drink more water too. If you want to get some tips on how to drink more water, you can read this post.

Read the article and get re-hydrated!

Health Benefits of Water - How 8 Glasses a Day Keeps Fat Away

Treasure Your Tears

2011-12-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

(source)

In a culture that revolves around happiness, there seems to be less and less room for those moments in between ecstasy. We try to forget that life is made up of more than joyful times and that we experience a whole range of emotions that make life complete.
As a very melancholic child, I was semi-addicted to sadness. I'm not that way anymore. At all! I'm overall a very positive and happy person. But that doesn't mean I can avoid all pain in my life. Or that I would want to. I've recently come across tears more than usual in my life, my own tears and those of others. And today I want to urge you to treasure the tears that make it into your life.

So what's the benefit of feeling sad? How could you savor tears? And why would you want to?

First of all, think about what your tears are telling you. You're unhappy, sure, but why? Something or someone that you deeply care about is affected in a negative way.
Even if you wish the situation were different, right now, it's not. So rather than ignoring a bad situation, try to accept it and deal with it as it is.

How can the tears help?
For one, they show you that you have something in your life worth crying over. That, in itself, is a blessing. Life is full of distractions we hardly care about. Nobody cries over a missed TV episode. If it makes you cry, it matters.

But tears are also a first step toward action. They express your grief and carry in them the desire the change the situation that has occurred. If that's not possible, your tears can at least show you that you have come to terms with and realized what happened. You've accepted. You won't cry if you're in denial. Then, grief is a first step to healing.

But don't only treasure your own tears; accept the tears of others also as a window into who they are. It takes a lot of courage for someone to cry in front of another person, and this vulnerability provides the opportunity to really connect and comfort. Having someone feel comfortable enough to do that shows how strong your relationship really is. Don't try to hush up someone's tears, or try to make them stop crying. Instead, accept it and try to receive them with an open mind and an open heart.

So far my opinion on what it means to cry. I realize it's kind of a dark topic, and that I may seem to go a little over the top, but I can't help carrying my heart on my sleeve. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you already know that. If you're new, you may find out soon enough.

I know it's a sensitive topic, so dare I ask?
How do you feel about crying? Be it by yourself or in company, do you try to avoid it altogether?

Triple Inspiration: Winter Edition

2011-12-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

Another week gone by. How did it go? Ready for a new one yet? Maybe some quotes can inspire you to look forward to another Monday. I know I can always use a bit of extra motivation to get started.

It's been a wintry week here, so today's quotes are related to the season. It may be my least favorite season, but there are still plenty of things I love about winter.The holidays are an obvious example, but I also love snowy landscapes, winter foods and the crisp clear air of a frosty morning.

Now, without further ado, let's share some quotes.

Get Productive!

"To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring."
(W.J. Vogel)

Get Happy!

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes

taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
(Anne Bradstreet)

Get Inspired!

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
(Albert Camus)

Get Wintry!

"You can't get too much winter in the winter."
(Robert Frost)

Want to get those quotes every Sunday, and a whole lot of other interesting tips through the week? Sign up for the e-mail updates or the RSS feed at the top right of the page.

Hire Someone Else - Trade Jobs

2011-12-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

Picture by Iain Farrell

There are some tasks which are more suited to some people than to others. I actually know people who enjoy cleaning, and I'm one of the few people I know who doesn't mind ironing. But I'm sure there's plenty of things that you don't really like to do. How about hiring someone else to do them for you?

When I say 'hire' someone, I don't necessarily mean paying someone else to do your chores for you. You could also trade tasks with another member of your household or a neighbor.
Do you know that your neighbor or friend really loves gardening but hates cooking? How about trading responsibilities and asking them to help you out in return for a home-cooked meal?

If you have no one to trade with, and can afford it; consider actually paying someone to do those things for you you don't enjoy.
My mom recently hired a cleaning lady and really loves it. It has helped her free up time for things she enjoys doing. I once worked for a place that does people's laundry for them (I helped with the ironing, naturally.)I have a friend in China who pays a student to help her out with errands, and loves how much trouble it saves her.

Thinking that spending an hours wages on an hours pay is not a good use of your money only makes sense if you don't enjoy your job. If you do, wouldn't you rather trade one hour at a job you enjoy for the hour of chores that you hate?

Do you employ anyone or use a service to help you out with stuff? Do you ever regret the money you spend on it? How about chores in your house?