Miracles and Stories and Articles of Inspiration

Why?

2013-06-29T14:41:00.001-07:00

WHY?

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

EVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline, 'Psychic Wins Lottery?’

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

We all just need to smile once in a while

How it All Began

2013-06-29T14:19:00.003-07:00

HOW IT ALL STARTED

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham did think long and hard and decided he that would let Dot have her way with the drums. And lo the drums rang out and were an immediate success.

Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did he insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known and said, "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. Verily I give you the truth

Llanfaipwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch

2013-06-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

Lunch at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch.

On a beautiful summer's day, two American tourists were driving through Wales . At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch,
   they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress,

'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us.
   Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?'............





The girl leaned over and said,
   'Burrr …     gurrr …        king'

Our Hard Working Often Tired MPs in Brussels

2013-06-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

So we work hard we pay our taxes and if we are lucky retire at 65.
Our hard working MPs are busy representing our interests and fighting for our rights in the Brussels Parliament or Are they........

Another Busy day in Brussels

Its pretty exhausting work

Sorry whats that your reading?

Looks like you have things on your mind

Another Late Night

Can you find that recipe

Nice family photos but not in our time

How much did your earn last month?

Maybe your Bed would be more comfortable

Do any of them sleep at night or do they really work this hard?

That's it i need a pay rise cant live on 12000 euros a month.

So next time you wonder what might be happening to your hard earned cash paid in taxes ask your Euro MP what he does or doesnt do in Brussels

How your home is seen by others

2013-06-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

Okay here is a simple example of how others see your home

How you see your own Home

How your Buyer sees your Home

How your Lender sees your home

How your Banks Valuer sees your Home

And finally how your Rate Assessor sees your Home

If this made you smile please tell others to visit this blog and post comments

New Year New Start New Resolutions

2013-01-02T12:19:00.002-08:00

2013

So here we are another year a different year or a Ground hog Year where everything stays as it is like our economy now, no growth maybe no hope who knows.

But not for you, not today.

I have a special message for you see below. I may not know you your needs your problems your desires but i guess that i may possible know of somebody who does, so i can do something for you today whether you live in Texas or Sydney,Moscow or Cancun.

Where ever you are i can pray that your problems, your desires, your wishes, your hurts your pain your desires and ambitions make a difference for you and those around you, your immediate family your neighbours, your life is so valuable i can offer the best gift a prayer to our Lord that your life makes a difference for you and for others.

So if your dare tell me what to pray for you this year and you can say a prayer for me if you wish for the same for my year to be my best yet to make a difference for me my family and those around me.
What a world it would be if we all stopped and said a prayer not for those we know but those we don't know yet or will never know.

Thank you and God Bless you.

Angels

2012-12-09T02:13:00.000-08:00

Thought this was a lovely sentiment to remember your angels are always there.

Angels

I sent an angel to watch over you last night, but it came back. I asked, "Why?" The angel said, "Angels don't watch over angels!"

Twenty angels are in your world. Ten of them are sleeping, nine are playing, one is reading this message. Please read...not joking…..

God has seen you struggling with something. God says it's over. A blessing is coming your way.

If you believe in God, send this message on, please don't ignore it, you are being tested. God is going to fix two BIG things tonight in your favor.

If you believe in God, drop everything and pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day ever.
Send this to ten friends, including me, if I don't get it back, I guess I'm not one of them.

As soon as you get five replies, someone you love will quietly surprise you.

Send back to me paulstacey88@gmail.com
or post a comment

December 2012

2012-11-16T02:39:00.000-08:00

DECEMBER 2012

Follow instructions and wait 4 days ! !

This year, December has 5 Saturdays, 5 Sundays and 5 Mondays.

Dec-12
Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun
31					1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30

This only happens once every 824 years.The Chinese call it the Money Bag.Send this to all your friends and enemies as well. According to the legend, you will receive money in 4 days. According to Feng Shui, if you do not send it you will stay poor.I in particular, will not let this opportunity pass by. So I send it to you with my best wishes. (Just in case it is true!)

A Quick Prayer for You

2012-11-15T14:57:00.002-08:00

QUICK PRAYER

Please do not break. Just 27 words - "God, our Father, walk through my house and take away All my worries and illnesses and please watch over and heal my Family, Amen." This prayer is so powerful. Pass this to 12 people Including me.

A blessing is coming to you in form of a new Job, a house, marriage, finances, or maybe an answer to Something (a prayer, a request) that you have been waiting For. Do not break or ask questions. Stop what you are doing & send it to 12 people Now. Watch what He does!

Please email me on your list what does he do for you
paulstacey88@gmail.com

Nag -Nag -Nag

2012-11-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

An attorney arrived home late after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution
for his client. His last minute plea to the governor for clemency had failed and he was
feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him:
What time of night to be getting home is this?
Where have you been?
Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it . . . . . . and on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of
whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub - - - pursued by his wife and
her predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang.
The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been
granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

He whirled around and screamed,

'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'

Wine for Seniors

2012-11-11T07:13:00.000-08:00

Wine for Seniors

A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted night’s sleep.

NEW Wine for Seniors , I kid you not.....

Clare Valley vintners in South Australia,
which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot
Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.It is expected to reduce the number of trips

older people have to make to the
bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be

marketed as

PINO MORE

I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE!!
I just could not help it! Forward this to all your "senior" friends I just did.
Sorry, somebody thought I deserved this so I'm spreading the love!

The Son

2012-10-27T14:44:00.000-07:00

The ending will surprise you.

Take my Son.....

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas,

There was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands..

He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly... He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'

The father

Opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?'

There was silence...

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.'

But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'

Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts. Get on with the Real bids!'

But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting...' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

'We have $10, who will bid $20?'

'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.'

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel.. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!'

A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!'

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'

'What about the paintings?'

'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will... I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!

God gave His son over 2,000 years ago to die on the Cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: 'The Son, the Son, who'll take the Son?'

Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything!

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH

Please send this to ten people and back to the one who sent it to you.
God Bless.

Only The Irish Can Do This

2012-05-31T10:06:00.001-07:00

This may just set the record for return emails and forwards. Leave it up to the Irish to come up with the answer to all our wishes. Well, at least one.

Make sure you follow the directions carefully. I think we all need a little luck right about now.



                             Hope the Leprechaun dances his jig for you!

                                             Comments from others:

I had to forward this, my mom swears it works. The day after she sent it, they got an offer on their land on the Swannee river, they haven't even seen that land since 1987. It came out of the blue. So you know that I'm going to try it.
                                                Love Kim

Not sure if this had anything to do with it but it was shortly after I sent this out -

I got a call to say our bond was approved - against all odds.

I don't know if it works but I won a new fridge full of various

cool drinks from Beyer and Beyer last week.

I do not know if it works, but I won a microwave yesterday Seems like it Hey !!
                       I hope this works my son could use a really good job!!!!!!!

Good luck to everyone! And may all your dreams come true!!

This may sound nuts, but my husband got this the other day and sent it off. About 10 minutes later a really good financial windfall happened for his son Sean who he had sent it too as well. One of the people he sent it to was responsible for the windfall.
                    AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH
                                                Good Luck!!

                                               I hope it works..

           May there always be work for your hands to do;

            May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your

windowpane;

   May a rainbow be certain to follow

each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;

May God fill your heart with

gladness to cheer you..

OK, this is what you have to do...Send this to all of your friends!
But - you HAVE to send this within 1 hour

From when you open it!

Now..............Make A wish!!!!!!

I hope you made your wish! Now then

, if you send to:

1 person --- your wish will be

granted in 1 year

3 people --- 6 months

5 people --- 3 months

6 people --- 1 month

7 people --- 2 weeks

8 people --- 1 week

9 people --- 5 days

10 people --- 3 days

12 people - -- 2 days

15 people --- 1 day

20 people --- 3 hours

If you dont pass this after you read it .

You will have 1 year of bad luck!

But .. If you

advise 2 of your friends

you will automatically

have 3 years of

good luck!!! )
























FREE Animations for your email by IncrediMail

Clic Here!

If You Care about your Kids Care about Ugandas Make Kony Famous

2012-03-08T15:05:00.004-08:00

If You Care about your Kids Care about Ugandas Make Kony Famous

My 14 year old daughter alerted me to this evening

Please Please Please

Click on this make this happen this year

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

Watch this 27 minute video click on the link below and go straight on to this video.

This will shape our future yours your Children's and Children's Children's future

Make Kony Famous get him arrested this year then we can go after number 2 and so on.

We can all get this to happen pass this on to everybody you know anywhere in the world.

Please please please see this 27 minute video

Do your bit for our Children make this happen this year.. 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

Women as Explained by Engineers

2012-03-06T13:31:00.001-08:00

WOMEN AS EXPLAINED
BY ENGINEERS

PART IV

PART V

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works?
Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that
needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and
to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour (Now remember ladies, I think you have a sense of humour otherwise you’d have been deprived of this bit of intelligence about the species!!!).

The Haircut

2012-03-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

The Haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a policeman comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The copper was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen other Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

BOTH POLITICIANS AND NAPPIES NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN
AND
FOR THE SAME REASON!

Now for Something Completely sensible go to following link

dorking-old-things.blogspot.com

Please leave a comment Good or Bad

Do Not Talk to my Parrot

2012-03-06T12:36:00.000-08:00

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.

Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,

'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher,

Leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.'

Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you.

But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!'

'I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!'

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest,

Meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there

On the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

'Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!'

To which the parrot replied,

'Get him Spike!'

See - Men just don't listen!

We were brung up proper

2012-03-01T12:42:00.000-08:00

This will really make you smile especially if you were born in the 1950s 1960s

and

NOT ONE INCORRECT FACT HERE !!!

WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER !!
"And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!!CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and even early 70's

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get test ed for diabetes or cervical cancer.
Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos.

Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gob stoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with.
We ate biscuits, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY , no video/dvd films,
no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms...........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears!
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time...

We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays,

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!
RUGBY and CRICKET had try outs and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on
MERIT
Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.They actually sided with the law!
Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla'

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL !
And YOU are one of them!CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were. PS -The big type is because your eyes are not too good at your age

The Italien Funeral

2012-03-01T12:19:00.000-08:00

THE ITALIEN FUNERAL

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:

"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me and my dog attacked

and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in

the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law.

She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her. She didn’t survive either."

A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied, "Get in line."

Now for Something completely different
Click Above

The Groany Old Jokes for Light Humour

2012-01-30T16:40:00.000-08:00

The Groany Old Jokes

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a

vacuum cleaner. Strewth, talk about Dyson with death.

Paddy says: "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador ." "Sod that"

says Mick: "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"

I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. they said they regretted to

inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.

My girlfriend thinks that Im a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my

girlfriend yet.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at

the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid....... then I was petrified.

A wife says to her husband: "Youre always pushing me around and

talking behind my back".

He says: "What do you expect? Youre in a wheelchair".

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get

reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.

She said: "I would like to come back as a cow".

I said: "You're obviously not listening".

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering

years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake.

I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said: "I love you".

She said; "Is that you or the beer talking?"

I replied: "It's me talking to the beer".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.

So I've been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

They've opened a new shop across the road selling camouflage clothing

but I have my suspicions something weird is going on. Yesterday I saw

20 people go in but I never saw anyone coming out.

I've been on the phone for ages trying to book tickets for an Elvis

tribute act, but it keeps asking me to press 1 for the money, 2 for

the show......

I just brought a friend of mine a new fridge, should have seen his

face light up when he opened it.

A friend of mine moved into a new house at the weekend so I took him

over a couple of radiators. Just a little house warming present.

I've just heard the window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my

house. I think he's lost his rag.

I went to my allotment last week and found someone had covered it with

2 inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered

again with another 2 inches of soil. The plot thickens!!!

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.

When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I

was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a

coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it... I

thought to myself, these idiots have lost the plot!!

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was

refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for

the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not

understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi

Do.'

My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went

to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I

thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

I start a new job in Seoul next week.. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver.

was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to

myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.

And now for something completely different

If You enjoyed Please comment , If you didnt please comment
paulstacey88@gmail.com

Icebergs Of Antartica

2012-01-30T16:27:00.000-08:00

Hope you enjoy.........

STRIPED ICEBERGS

Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of snow that react to different conditions.

Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet fills up with melt water and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form.

When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a green stripe.

Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.

These pictures are available because 2010 has been the coldest winter

And now for something Completely different go to

Is this just another Load of Bull

2012-01-30T16:22:00.000-08:00

Enjoy these wonderful Captions taken from the Septic Tank Dumper Trucks of America......

Hope your Laughing Now ...

Check This out