miscellanean

Wind-up porcelain music box doll (not creepy at all)

2016-04-29T21:23:00.000+01:00

Tune: Swan Lake, Tchaikovsky
Made in Japan by Sankyo

Big Ears at Leeds Castle, Kent, Maidstone

2016-04-27T12:54:00.002+01:00

As seen at leeds-castle.com:

FaceSwapLive

2016-04-22T16:13:00.002+01:00

faceswaplive.com

Southend's "torture" boat attraction

2013-02-06T09:18:00.000+00:00

Southend's "torture" ship boat - at least that's how I remembered it. Whatever happened to the wooden/tourist attraction boat that stood (floated?) next to the pier at Southend?

An email to Southend's tourist information centre got a swift response:

The 'Golden Hind' to which you refer was closed to the public in 1997, when the ship was purchased by the operators of Adventure Island. There was indeed a glass case at the entrance to the ship with a man under a swinging pendulum blade.

The Golden Hind had seen falling attendance figures and ever increasing maintenance costs in keeping the aging wooden ship open, after structural survey it was found the ship needed a major rebuilding program to get it re-open to the public, the cost of restoration was too high so the ship was scrapped.

A replacement ship was built, the 'Queen Anne's Revenge' which was a replica of the ship used by the notorious English pirate Blackbeard, it formed the centre piece of the Blackbeard Revenge attraction.

This too fell into disrepair and was demolished at the end of last year.

Karl Robinson = Marc Wooton lookalike

2013-01-21T16:03:00.000+00:00

Karl Robinson (MK Dons manager)

Marc Wooton (Shirley Ghostman)

Notes from a visit to Underhill

2011-01-30T19:21:00.000+00:00

Saturday 29 January 2011: Barnet 0 Southend 2
1) The famous slope is steep
2) Shouts from the crowd to the male linesman:
a) "There's a woman here who could do a better job than you"
b) "Get your t*ts out!"

Keys, Gray, Massey and Jackson

2011-01-26T20:20:00.004+00:00

Massey

Very strange to see The Sun's approach to the Richard Keys/Andy Gray sexism debacle.

It's not quite sure whose side to be on, considering its outdated fondness for the Page 3 lady. It had no qualms in publishing alluring photos of the "female linesman" Sian Massey, and is appearing to have resisted the full photogenic possibilities that Andy-Gray-tucker-down-refuser Charlotte Jackson offers.

Anyway, to redress the sexist balance, here are the famously hairy Mr Keys and "balding pervert"* Mr Gray (both now available for work):

*The Sun's words, not mine!

Gray

Keys

GoogleWatch, 26 Jan 2010

"Andy Gray" -- About 663,000 results (0.15 seconds)
"Charlotte Jackson" -- About 445,000 results (0.15 seconds)
"Richard Keys" -- About 423,000 results (0.17 seconds)
"Sian Massey" -- About 153,000 results (0.14 seconds)

Warning: "draft" posts in Blogger get picked up in RSS feeds

2010-10-16T17:36:00.000+01:00

Fortunately, this was not found this out the hard way -- draft posts (ie, the things you're still working on and aren't ready to be published) do appear in RSS feeds (if you subscribe to that particular blogger blog).

That is all.

The X Factor: Making the worst sound even worse?

2010-08-22T20:45:00.006+01:00

Watched ITV's seventh(!) series of The X Factor last night. I record it and fast-forward the annoying adverts and Louis Walsh.

Anyway, I'm sure I noticed a change from previous episodes. The singers heading home had poor quality karaoke backing tracks -- the approved singers had professional-sounding music.

Was this the individual choice of the "candidates" or a new Simon Cowell ploy to widen the quality gap?

UPDATE: Email response from ITV/Channel TV:

Thank you for your e-mail to ITV about this programme, it has been passed to us at Channel for a response as we look after it for the ITV Network – the programme is made by Talkback Thames, an independent production company.

The introduction of the live audience at auditions in 2009 meant that the process to incorporate the sound recorded on the day became more complicated. Sound filtering technology is employed during post production but it is important to note that this does not unfairly reflect any performance. The performances shown on-screen are a fair reflection of the performance given in the live arena. The judges make their decisions based on these – quite simply, you can’t make a bad singer into a good singer with post production effects.

I hope this addresses your concerns, but if you would like to take the matter further you may wish to contact our regulators, Ofcom, either via their website www.ofcom.org.uk or by telephone to 020 7981 3000.

Thank you again for your feedback, it is very much appreciated, good or bad. I have, of course, passed on your comments to Talkback Thames.

With all best wishes,

Xxxx

Duncan Bannatyne = Julien MacDonald

2010-07-18T19:10:00.000+01:00

Dripping Pan panorama

2009-08-29T22:01:00.003+01:00

Dripping Pan panorama
Originally uploaded by sanchosseri

Dripping Pan panorama

2009-08-29T22:00:00.004+01:00

Dripping Pan panorama
Originally uploaded by sanchosseri

Out of the blue emails from my MP

2009-06-04T19:51:00.003+01:00

Last year I emailed Charles Hendry MP (Wealden) about his expenses -- he got back to me about the John Lewis list. Given the current public feeling, Mr Hendry has felt compelled to send me the following unsolicited email and attachments...

Dear Mr Miscellanean

In view of our previous correspondence on MPs expenses, I wanted to write to you immediately, as I can understand how concerned you will have been if you have read the story about me in today's Daily Telegraph.

The story in the Telegraph misrepresents my situation and contains serious inaccuracies in both the content of the piece and the title. It is clear that the response I sent to them yesterday in reply to their questions was almost entirely disregarded, and it would appear the story was written even before I was contacted.

I am attaching the full email exchanges, so you can see the information that was provided.

There are a number of specific errors:

The Telegraph states that money was claimed to pay for 'two servants' and this included ‘general support in the garden’. Only right at the end of the article does it say, as my email to the Telegraph makes absolutely clear, that help in the garden was specifically excluded. I claimed around £35 per week towards some costs of help in the house. The Telegraph's banner headline suggests this was for ‘two servants’ when in reality it was for the costs of one person helping out in the house for one half day a week.

The Telegraph also states that I designated my home in Sussex as my second home ‘for expenses purposes’. This suggests that it was not also my second home for tax purposes, but as I explained to them, there is has been complete consistency on these matters.

The article claims that we claimed £376 for the 'farm’s CCTV system'. There is no farm.

It also states that in the past I have paid my wife to work for me ‘out of public funds.’ They did not check this with me. Had they done so, I could have explained that when a PA had left my office at short notice, my wife came in for two weeks to provide some administrative support. For this, she was paid the House of Commons ‘temping rate’ and was paid £476 for the two weeks work.

In all my expense claims I have abided by some key ground rules:

There should be consistency between my second home for tax purposes and my second home for ACA claims. I have never 'flipped'.

The ACA can be used for maintenance/repairs but not for improvements.

I have not claimed for anything without providing a receipt or taken any allowances in 'cash'. (I could, under the rules, have submitted claims for £4800 a year for food or £250 a month for any claim each month without receipts, but never thought this was appropriate)

I have not claimed for food or furniture/furnishings.

I completely understand why people are so angry about this whole issue. David Cameron has set up a Committee to examine all claims by Conservative MPs over the past few years. I have asked them to look specifically at the expense and allowance claims I have made.

I am very happy to answer any specific questions you have on any of these issues and would be very willing to meet to do so, if that would be helpful.

Yours sincerely,
Charles Hendry

Charles Hendry MP (Wealden)
House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA
Web: www.charleshendry.com

Dear Charles Hendry,

The Daily Telegraph is investigating the expense claims made by MPs under the Parliamentary additional costs allowance system since the 2004/05 financial year.
We are considering publishing an article in tomorrow’s newspaper (June 2) which will contain details of your expense claims.

We are aware of the provisions of the statutory instrument passed by Parliament last July and will therefore not be publishing MPs’ addresses or any other details which could compromise security.

However, as a matter of legitimate public interest and concern, we intend to publish the following details about your expense claims under the Additional Costs Allowance. We would invite you to respond to the following points.

• Between 2004 and 2007 you claimed more than £7,300 to pay for domestic staff. Why did you think this was appropriate?

• You submitted to the Commons fees office a copy of your agreement with your two staff members, which was drawn up in September 2004. According to the agreement you paid them £170 per week. Why did you then sometimes claim £1,000 a month from your expenses for their payment?

Please could we receive your comments by 6pm today so that they can be given due weight in our inquiries and properly reflected in any article we decide to publish. Please could you also inform us if you do not wish to comment.

I can be contacted on XXXX or XXXX, or on email: XXXX

Jon Swaine

Dear Charles Hendry,

Further to my earlier letter, I invite you to respond to the following questions.

• Did you designate The Wilderness as your second home during 2001/02 and and 2002/03? If so, how much did you claim in mortgage interest? If not, what property did you designate as your second home? Please provide any proof available.

Also:
• You claimed about £350 in 2004 for pest control services, following infestations of mice, wasps and flies. In 2006 you claimed £75 for the collection of a sample and an analysis by an independent testing laboratory.
• In 2004 you claimed £376 for security work, including the servicing of the farm’s CCTV system, despite the bill showing that it was done and paid for in September 2003.
• Also in 2004 you claimed £380 for electrical work, including for some relating to lighting linked to your lounge piano.

Why did you think these claims were appropriate?

Please could we receive your comments as soon as possible so that they can be given due weight in our inquiries and properly reflected in any article we decide to publish. Please could you also inform us if you do not wish to comment.

I can be contacted on XXXX or XXXX, or on email: XXXX

Jon Swaine

Reply to first email from Daily Telegraph

Dear Jon,

Please take this as a response to your initial email. A further reply to your second email will follow shortly.

In order to carry out the duties I have as an MP I need to have and maintain a home in my constituency and a home in London. The expenses system is based on that understanding.

I have help in the home and in the garden at my constituency home. I have not claimed for the full cost of this as it seemed proper that I should bear most of these costs personally, but I have claimed for some of the costs for that help which was necessary and which related to the house, not the garden.

Most months there has been no claim, and therefore some months a higher amount has been claimed to cover a longer period. The £7,300 equates to approximately £35 per week and is less than 20% of the total costs of around £40,000 I paid for this help over that four-year period.

I am attaching a link to my website, which shows the basis on which I have made claims.
http://www.charleshendry.com/news-article.php?news_id=303

Yours sincerely,
Charles Hendry

Charles Hendry
Member of Parliament for Wealden
House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA
www.charleshendry.com

Reply to second email from Daily Telegraph follows on next page

Reply to second email from Daily Telegraph

Jon,

Thank you for your further email.

The Wilderness has ALWAYS been my second home. My main home for ACA and tax purposes has always been in London. No ACA claims have been made for any other property since I was elected to Parliament. I have never flipped.

I claimed for pest control services as the house experienced regular fly infestation.

Some old boarding was uncovered which appeared to be asbestos. We asked for it to be analysed. Had it been asbestos, we may have had to leave the property immediately until the asbestos was removed. The tests proved negative.

We installed and largely maintained a security system at our own expense. The invoice had been paid for but was not claimed at the time. When this came to light, as it was a legitimate claim, it was reimbursed. The bill also related to security measures at our home in London, which I specifically excluded from the claim.

The bill for electric works comprised a number of items including some repairs. It included the installation of a plug socket adjacent to the piano. It was not piano-lighting.

Yours sincerely,

Charles Hendry

Charles Hendry
Member of Parliament for Wealden
House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA
www.charleshendry.com

Lookalike: Martin Clunes = Andrew Marr

2009-06-03T20:52:00.003+01:00

Well, the ears are identical.

I've found the source of MPs' fun...

2009-06-02T19:19:00.002+01:00

... in deepest Sussex.

Taking the Postman Pat?

2009-05-22T22:04:00.004+01:00

Shame

2009-05-19T21:29:00.002+01:00

Gordon Brown. Couldn't even lead a well-trained poodle. On a leash.

More lookalikes: Brydon = Du Beke

2009-05-12T21:33:00.005+01:00

Rob Brydon, chauffeur
Anton Du Beke, prancer

Update: Unreported fatality

2009-04-17T19:39:00.004+01:00

Almost a year later, the unreported fatality at Eridge has been revealed:

thisissussex.co.uk: Suicide verdict for Groombridge man

http://miscellanean.blogspot.com/2008/06/unreported-fatality.html

Novel repeat

2009-03-24T19:32:00.003+00:00

Quite enjoyed BBC4's recent Paul Merton Looks at Alfred Hitchcock, until I then watched BBC2's Hitch: Alfred the Great, which was almost identical.

Lookalike: Jamie Oliver = Sean Bean

2009-03-02T19:59:00.004+00:00

Sean Bean (Red Riding)
Jamie Oliver (Sweet-talking chef)

Cerrie Burnell

2009-02-26T19:48:00.003+00:00

Confused by the parent outcry caused by the BBC employing a female children's presenter without a hand.

What should we tell our children when the BBC starts employing ugly presenters?

BBC: How do you explain a missing hand to a child?

Totally unecessary female shot #1

2009-02-22T19:39:00.007+00:00

Here's a problem for The Sunday Times. How do you illustrate a story about illegal music downloads for the front page of your business supplement?

Easy, just stick up a picture of the one of the latest pop tarts, Katy Perry...

The Sunday Times: Stop download flood, says music chief

Pinky and Perky: Let's Twist Again (original vocals)

2009-01-27T19:00:00.001+00:00

I made this...

Lookalike: Milo Ventimiglia = Adam Levine

2008-11-06T18:42:00.006+00:00

Heroes' Milo Ventimiglia = Maroon 5's Adam Levine