Then I woke up on New Year’s Day with a kid hangover…

The special cocktail: wait up for a kid till 1:00 am and then get up with a sick baby from three to seven. (I party like a rock star, I know).

The morning after, my goals not only seemed ridiculous and unattainable, but repulsive. …They basically represented everything I would never want to do with my life.  (Ah, the perspective of a sleep deprived woman…)

After some reflection and coffee (and then some more coffee), I saw clearly.  I realized in two hours what typically takes me two months to acknowledge.

I was never going to do all that anyways.

I’d already suspected this, even yesterday, while I thoughtfully wrote brave and aspirational goals on crisp pages in my new journal.  Something was off, but I pressed on anyhow.

In my coffee induced clarity, and with the help of Jesus, I started to remember something…

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Today, the discussion is a bit dark and rather scary.  I want to talk about failure, because it has a very important place in a series on Good Ideas.  The creative life simply does not progress without failure.

I know this from experience!  When I was an art student, I took my first pottery class.  How exciting!  How wonderful to put hands in clay, and mold it on the spinning wheel into a sleek, organic, functional vessel!  I could totally rock my neuvo-hippie chick thing, sell some pottery at a festival or two, and have lots of Christmas gifts on hand for everyone!

Except that when I sat down at the wheel and hit the pedal, goopy wet clay spat in vicious circles and hit me in the face, covered the wall, and coated the other zen-clay students.  I was humiliated and so disappointed.

After that, the only time I’d return to the studio was late, late at night when few other students were working. I guess my hope was to work out all the kinks and appear one day in my daytime class as if nothing had happened, as if I had my “slip” together. In reality, I progressed very slowly, as there were no teachers and not many experienced students in the lab at that time of night!

That was a long time ago, and I’ve learned some very valuable lessons since – primarily about grace and the freedom to be a fool and to fail. Here’s what I want to share today: Not failing (and not failing publicly) will prevent you from succeeding.

• Failing publicly means you tried to add value in a way that would impact other people.
• Failing again means you tried again.
• Making a variety of mistakes means that you are experimenting with a variety of “what if’s” and “maybe’s” and “hopefully’s”
• Failing publicly means that you are in a position to be noticed (oh no!) and get some help, tweaking, direction…

I believe that purposing to add value, trying again, experimenting, and seeking critique as well as support, will lead to successes. Purposing to achieve perfection the first time, and to make sure that everyone thinks well of you all the time will–ironically–lead to defeat.

A few questions to ponder:

• If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by creative failure, what got you going again?
• What kinds of things have you learned from failure?
• Do you put yourself in positions where you can fail publicly? If not, what can you do to be more vulnerable?
• What advice would you give a friend who is stuck in failure?

Alright, talk to you later creative friends!  I hope I didn’t scare you too much today.  See you soon.

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I love the unplanned, organic press of words, colors, and shapes, all asking for attention.  In San Francisco, I was had enough time on my hands to ponder such a pole. (I love the days when I have enough time to stare at a phone pole.) I think each of them are art enough on their own, but because I had no means of chopping a piece out and taking it home, I thought I’d snap some pics, flatten out the chaos, and paint what I saw.

I’ll start with the details of the paintings, because in a way, these isolated areas are more representative of the billboard/ phone pole vibe.

These are acrylic and found paper, on small canvases, 6″x10″ or so, and if you’ve been to my house, you can see them hanging in the front hallway.  They make me happy, so I’ve kept them for a while.

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Two months from now (ok, let’s be honest: two weeks from now) we’ll be back in the usual insanity of forgotten permission slips, missing shoes, and running late for the bus. But the first days of school are different. They hold such promise, such electricity, such a welcome call to action after days and months of summery indulgence!

The palpable clarity of this micro-season inspires new star-charts, fresh calendar pages, and minds popping with goals and ambition. It’s enough to make me want to strap on a backpack and catch the bus, too!

Frankly, we adults could use some ‘first days of school’, don’t you think? Our seasons are no longer broken up by summer break, fall break, snow days, and Christmas. In fact, our seasons seem to go on and on, exponential 24 hour periods from which we seek breaks and comfort, but in which we experience very little of the alacrity and vision that come with first days of school. Endemic in adulthood is sameness, routine, and some version of ‘getting by’.

Oh my goodness, that’s bleak! And though I don’t really believe that my mid-life counterparts are trudging through life, staring vacuously ahead as we prepare power points and do laundry, it does seem that we have difficulty harnessing the energy, anticipation, and joy of young learners. The world is still an oyster, but most days we only have about 15 minutes to grab a pearl. Does scrolling through Twitter count? And why do we scroll through Twitter, anyway? Maybe it’s to read pithy remarks made by our witty friends, but more likely, it’s to squeeze a bit of information, new knowledge or insight into the tiny, tweet-sized moments of our days. We are still hungry for knowledge, we still long to learn.

I’d argue that we are still learning, seeking education, growing and building at a rapid pace, even though our scholarship is rarely noted and is certainly not graded. If we squint our eyes in just the right way, we can see that our days are actually filled with education.

Adult learning almost always starts with our own questions and desires.
How do I grill salmon over charcoal?
How do I help my daydreamy kid to catch the bus on time?
What are those flowers growing in the backyard?
What is actually going on with this Paul Manafort thing?
I really want to learn to throw clay on the wheel.
Show me how to strengthen my core.
Can my friendships get better, or should I just enjoy what I have?
Sex has taken a back seat to life. How can I genuinely move it forward?
I thought I understood faith, but I really don’t. Lord, can you teach me?

We’re asking lots of questions, and we’re learning lots of things! Precisely what we’re learning becomes more clear and concrete as we recognize and value the continuing education that is part of each day. If we were to write journals entitled, “What I Learned Today”, we’d surely begin to see the unique curriculums of our lives emerge.

One of the joys of being imaged after an eternal creator God is that our appetite for understanding is never matched by the scope of what he can teach. He is most high. We cannot plumb the depths. Wherever it is you wander, he can enlarge your investigation and nudge you into deeper wonder. There is nothing in creation or in the gospel narrative that suggests “arrival” or “satiety”, and certainly not stagnation. There is a deep contentment, yes, but it holds hands with desire for more of Him. The stories unleashed by our Alpha and Omega God are those of fecundity, mystery, and unfurling faith.

We are insatiable because He is infinite. He is the abundant and generous “ultimate thing”. When his kingdom is first in our lives, all the good in creation points back to him and leads us further into him. It’s no wonder that our God celebrates inquiry and puzzling, questions and education.

Can we awaken our appetites? Can we get comfortable even with our dissatisfaction? If so, we’ll be well on our way to becoming eager students who embrace the fact of our ignorance, and long to fill pages of notebooks with “What I Learned Today”. Let’s take back the first day of school, grab hold of its lust for knowledge and newness, and weave that rhythm and energy into the long season of adulting.

We are made to be insatiable because He is infinite. Learn to roll with that! Can we awaken our appetites? Let’s take back the first day of school, grab hold of its lust for knowledge and newness, and weave that rhythm and energy into the long season of adulting.

Take back the first day of school. Start with a defined break, so you can arrive refreshed. Sharpen a pencil, clean off your desk, head to the library, take notes, learn to see the teachers all around you – and ask them questions. Enjoy the fact that there aren’t any multiple-choice quizzes here, and note that there are lots of group projects.

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I painted this on top of a crazy 1960’s canvas I picked up at the thrift store. It’s a nice, large piece – about 3 feet long and 16 inches high. The painting was framed in wide wood, which I painted a glossy black. A neighbor of mine (a sweet patron!) bought “Rest Stop” at one of the first shows I did after I had kids.
These are detail shots:

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Part 3 of A Good Idea is (Not) Hard to Find

In the past couple articles, we’ve established that there are lots of good ideas out there, and that many of us have them, all of the time.  We’ve also established that despite this, it can be difficult to harness the creative energy behind idea generation, and to see our concepts through to fruition.

Good ideas are intoxicating, but birthing and raising an idea to maturity and reality is the real deal. It’s significant!  I want to share a strategy which lays the groundwork for really giving an idea some traction – which gives it a chance at life!

Know your big picture focus. (What will you say YES to?)

Identifying your “yesses” is an integral part of creating an environment where things get done.  Knowing your “yesses” is part of what it means to grow up!  As we mature, we are faced with fewer and fewer decisions between bad and good…
(should I do more shots at my work party, or should I dial that back and stay sober?) and more decisions that are between good and better (should I spend Saturday hiking with my friends or baking cookies with my kids?).

The simplest way to deal with the constant barrage of “good v. better” decisions is to clearly know what you will always say “Yes” to.

Grab your favorite notebook, and start to jot a list.

This is my list.  Yours doesn’t have to be like it.  My list is not perfect, and I’m sure I’ll tweak it as I move forward.

• I will say yes to God.
• I will say yes to my close friends.
• I will say yes to the opportunities I’ve been given to serve other people.
• I will say yes to my family.
• I will say yes to adventures.

You might be surprised by how much my “yes” list helps me on a daily basis.

Yes, I want to start my day talking to God and hearing from him in his word. Are mornings busy? Do I like to sleep in? Heck yeah! But am I centered, and energized, and loved up, and ready to love after my quiet time? Sure am. So deciding that this is a yes (and remembering why) helps me get out of bed, get that coffee going and settle in for morning devotions.

Yes, people are more important than things, and more important than my to-do list. So when it’s a crazy day, but a friend needs a talk and some coffee (there’s always coffee… maybe it should be on my “yes” list   ) then my pre-determined “yes” helps to put my busyness aside and listen.

I don’t know about you, but I find this really freeing. I get confused by the press of good things in my world, so taking some time to decide what my yesses will be really cuts through the clutter.

If you make a yes list, keep it short.  Leaving something off your list doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means that you won’t do it at the expense of a “yes”.

I guess there’s a caveat to all these yesses.  (Is there a personality type for someone who has to qualify everything they say?  If so, it’s mine.) But anyways – the qualification: “I will always say yes” has a context.  For instance, I do not mean that every time my kid wants to play Monopoly, I will immediately pass go, or that every time a friend asks for coffee I will drop everything and head out.  My yesses help me navigate, they don’t control my life.

OK.  That’s Cool. But How Do “Yeses” Help Me Creatively?

The great ideas that you can do, that you will do, that you will complete successfully, are the ideas that work in your life.

If you go into an idea enterprise blindly, what happens is that a few months into it, you realize it’s not fitting into your life.  It’s pushing up against “yeses” that you didn’t know you had.  You will drop that idea, after having likely already jeopardized some “yeses”, and wind up feeling discouraged about the whole ‘good idea’ thing.

Yeses help you trim your idea list to the ones at which you can succeed!

(We’ll talk about idea lists later – keep all of those good ideas!  Your “yes” list will change as your life changes, and you may find you can then succeed at some of those “listed” ideas.  Pie Shop, anyone?)

Please note:  This post is about the BIG ideas – business ventures, new directions in life, time consuming commitments.  If you have lots of good ideas for tweaking a Toll House cookie recipe, or painting your bathroom, or writing a poem, have at it!  No need to consult the “yes” list.

Alright now, peeps – let’s hear about some Yes Lists in the comments section!  I’m sure it will be thought provoking.

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So yes, I fall fast and hard for good ideas, and can be rather obsessive about them… lots of daydreaming and the like.  The trouble is, once it seems like I’m moving toward something a bit more long term, a bit like commitment, trouble sets in.

For instance:

Me, to Idea #1:  “You know, we’ve been spending an awful lot of time together lately. Frankly, it’s a bit tedious.  I feel like all we do is research tax codes and profit margins and try to make websites.  We used to have fun!”

To Idea #2:  “I had another idea last night, and as much as I like you, I’m just really feeling like it might be “the one”.  You know?  I’m not sure why I ever thought we were a good match anyways…”

I guess this is the stage at which I’ve gotten close enough to see the dark side…

• My ideas usually require a lot more work and time than I imagined they would.
• Often, I must do cumbersome behind the scenes tasks before I get to the fun stuff.
• Sometimes, my ideas just seem stupid the next day.
• Sometimes, I am too full of self doubt to see how any of it could work out.

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She was a Terrible Flirt’ by Amy Abshier*

I am a flirt.

Well, I was a flirt in my mix and mingle single days, before I met someone who grabbed my attention and has kept it for a long time.  So, no, I don’t bat my eyelashes or stand “a little too close” when I meet new, interesting men.

These days, I save the eyelash-batting for ideas.  I fall in love with them regularly, and I fall hard.

Idea #1.  I’m going to travel to Africa and import textiles! I’ll collaborate with artisans, host trunk shows, run an online shop, and maybe even open a small boutique.

Idea #2.  I’m going to write a blog in which I interview artists and other creatives.  I will study Terry Gross and Ira Glass and Andy Rooney.  I will be known for both my compassion and direct hits.

Idea #3.  I will open a pie shop with my mother as baker-in-chief.  We will introduce her amazing baking skills to the wider world.

Idea #4.  I’ll go back to school for a masters in … something really fantastic and significant.

Idea #5.  Also, I will eat only foods that are close to the earth.  All the time.  And I will walk everywhere I go. And everywhere I walk, I will be stylishly, yet naturally styled.  Yes, I will have a style, and people will like it.  Maybe I’ll also design clothes … with the textiles that I import…

It happens every time.

I meet a good idea or catch a glimpse of one across the room, and my heart starts to beat a little faster. My eyes sparkle. I get a little sweaty. You wouldn’t believe how good these ideas are when I first think of them.

I lie awake at night imagining our lives together in ten years.  My creative process is in overdrive. Everything shines in technicolor. I’m always so happy during this phase of our relationship… a little high, even.  I get more done around the house, I’m nicer to my family, I call a whole bunch of people to talk.  It feels GOOD to be that close to a good idea.

As I’ve gotten older, it’s come to my attention that I need to commit to some of these ideas. This is where the trouble starts.

Next time, read, “The Honeymoon is Over“.  

____________________________________________________________________

MEET THE ARTIST

*Amy Abshier was raised on the Gulf Coast of Texas, in a small farming and ranching community. She graduated from the Kansas City Art Institute and has shown paintings in galleries all over the country, as well as providing illustrations for books and magazines internationally. Check out her Instagram, Curvilinear!  (You won’t regret it. )

She’s happily making art and curating an auction house, has two awesome kids, a cranky old cat, and a huge record collection.

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Gala

Gala detail

Glow

Glow Detail

Glow Blue

Glow Blue Detail

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My trunk came to me a work of art already, covered in a patina of scuffs and scratches, the soft metal of the hinges and lock hammered from decades of adventure.  The Cleveland Orchestra’s long history of carrying music to the world is traced in each one of these marks.

The trunk, a 1920’s OshKosh original, was used to carry the personal belongings of orchestra musicians as they traveled.  When I opened this trunk I found a small sewing kit and several wrapped hotel soaps inside. The trunk sat in my living room for several months while I worked on other projects and contemplated this one.  It is intended to be oriented vertically, opening to reveal a chest of drawers and a rack for hanging clothes. To create a modern functional design for the trunk, I eventually moved it onto its side, and contemplated some more.

Then I saw it:  the Cleveland skyline.  The trunk became what it should be, a tribute to this city, these days much maligned, but still the steward of an incredible legacy and wealth of talent in the arts.

I have to admit, Cleveland gets a bad rap (aside from the golden years of LeBron) but I am ignoring that fake news.  This old trunk has been around a long time, and tells a truer tale. Yes, we have troubles and struggles and darkness, but in this city – in the people of this city – there are flickers and glimmers and even bright lights of creativity and hope and music.

This piece was created with acrylic paints, acrylic transfers and gilders’ paste.   It incorporates both original sheet music used by the Cleveland Orchestra, and an original antique  map of the city of Cleveland. It is sealed with acrylic varnish.

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