Miss-EJ.com - Online Journal

2013-05-20T21:15:00.002-04:00

"I adore you so much!"

"I think you adore to adore me more than you actually adore me."

"...Ha, what are you talking about?"

"You clearly know what I'm talking about."

"Well, what if that was actually the case?"

"...Nothing."

I, sometimes, really wonder if that matters, are these imperfections part of the beauty of life? But what if I can't convince myself to accept these incompleteness? What should I do? ...and this is the biggest question in my life right now. I'm not sad, but I'm not happy either. Over two years have gone by and I still haven't found an answer...

Where should I go?

2013-05-19T22:37:00.001-04:00

Last year, I knew with certainty where I wanted to go; South-east Asia and the Silk Road. This year, however, I've been very indecisive. I won't be able to take 3 months off either...I'll probably get 3 weeks or so, which limits my choices even more.

The top countries that I want to visit are:
-India, because it seems like such a rich, diverse and crazy place...

-North Korea, and I don't care what people say, but there's a strange fascination that has drawn me to it...maybe because it's like a time capsule rarely seen by outsiders. It's delicate and pure but not quite...it's hard to describe actually...

-Kazakhstan, I don't know why but I've always wanted to party on Almaty...

-Nepal, because I want to go hiking!

-Egypt, because I've always been intrigued by mummies, and it's one of the oldest civilization in the world which is quite fascinating...

-The Asian side of Turkey, which I haven't been to yet...

And guess what, I'm not going to any of these places yet, because I don't want to go back to Asia so soon, and I want to see something totally different. I've actually been debating between South America and Africa for the last month...but I've come to a decision, I think. It's Africa. Why? Because it seems physically more challenging, it's more mysterious and I want some adventure! I want to explore, I want to suffer, I want to be awe-inspired. I'm a little scared, but so curious at the same time! I've dreamed of watching the sunrise in Africa!

Now, the question is where in Africa...hmmm.

PS.: My mom will kill me if she knows I'm going to Africa.

Quote of the day: Balls

2013-05-19T21:15:00.003-04:00

"You really got balls, well, not literally. Although sometimes, you're ridiculously stupid and stubborn. For a girl, you got balls".

30 day hot yoga challenge: Day 21

2013-05-19T21:09:00.002-04:00

I just did two hot yoga sessions in one day today, because I missed 4 classes (1 day because I had a shoot, 1 day because I had a rehearsal, 1 day because I had an appointment with the chiropractor and another because I really but really wanted to run). Okay, enough excuses. Now, I have to do 3 other doubles to catch up.

The challenge ends in a week and a half, and I kind of just want to let it be. I think the spirit of yoga is to do what you want to do when you feel like doing it, if not then don't. BUT! It's a challenge, and even though it's hard and my body is exhausted, I really want to complete this! I want to be able to tell people that I completed the challenge, not trying to be cute and go like, "Oh, I did the challenge, but I missed a couple of days here and there, hehe". That's not what I want.

I've been eating better and making better choices since I started practising yoga; I used to be the most ignorant person about food. Actually, I was sick for a month because of the sudden diet change. I used to love fatty food, I eat pizza in the morning, and eat cream cheese with a spoon, ha. Now, I usually have oatmeal in the morning, which I didn't even know existed before. As stupid as I may sound, I never had oatmeal in my life! I've been snacking on birds' food as my mom would call it (grains and nuts), instead of chocolate et chips. I still get my dose of cheese and fatty food on a weekly basis so I don't go crazy.

My skin looks better, and I lost a couple more pounds. I'm now at 122 lbs, which is 18 lbs in total since the beginning of my weight loss journey. I thought I would stop at 125 lbs, but I think I look fine now as well. And honestly, I don't care about that number on the scale anymore; I'll just maintain this lifestyle and let my body settle where it wants to.

This is the first time I lose weight at a steady and healthy pace. Some people have been telling me to stop going further, and I'm like...dude, don't you worry, I'm not anorexic. If I really were starving myself, I wouldn't be able to do hot yoga every day.

People don't need to be actually fat to start exercising and taking care of themselves.

PS.: One of my yoga teacher is so hot. There's a little something about boys who do yoga...It's so sexy.

Boat People Museum Fundraising Gala

2013-05-16T21:19:00.002-04:00

Here's an article I wrote, that's supposed to go in the Vietnamese journal, for the event that took place last Sunday. I'm quite upset about the incidents surrounding this, and I will not mention anybody, but someone posted this on their website without my consent or even giving me credit which I find highly disrespectful. Someone I know, yes. I really would cry if I wrote for a living and someone did this to me. I don't know why they did this, and I don't care either, because I'm no longer part of any of it.

I want to share this article on my blog nonetheless, just because well, I wrote this and I don't care where it ends up, but my readers know me.

Oh, and before anybody asks, I'm not Vietnamese, but I enjoy reaching out to others and creating something beyond who I am through words, and to serve a larger meaning than immediate narcissism.

Enjoy!

On May 12th, 2013, 2TwentyGirls and hundreds of people gathered at the Boat People Museum Fundraising Gala in Montreal, to remember the millions of Vietnamese who fled the country to escape political oppression, and their story of deprivation and hope, fear and resilience. Some made it to a safe land, but more than a third were buried at sea.

With the support of KA Magazine, 2TwentyGirls presented an abstract yet memorable NEVIK fashion show that recounts the story of the Boat People. One after the other, the models walked onto the stage to the rhythm of Ashley King's music, recreating images of the Boat People walking in circles and singing sad songs. Subsequently, the models gracefully fell into the powerful water and hungry natural forces. The bodies laid beyond reach and evoked images of separation, death and the sea claiming many lives, waves after waves.

Fortunately, as the sky comes to its darkest, the sun also starts to rise. The model in an elegant bright yellow gown by NEVIK, representing hope and the sun, guided their way out of the darkness of the sea. She also symbolizes all the reasons for which we must be courageous and look forward.

War has no beginning and no end. Today, it's no longer a battle against communist persecution, but a battle within. It's a conflict between traumatic memories of a distant past and a haunted present that The Boat People are facing. Now, it's our turn to fight. We are the voice of the Boat People, as well as the voice of the many Vietnamese Canadians, who attempt to understand their parent's past.

The past of our parents are difficult for us to perceive sometimes, but as time goes by, their past deeds seem so much more grand and fantastic than before. It's amazing to think that children of the Boat People went on to become professionals, with amazing smiles, passion, talents and admirable dreams. On this incredible journey, 2TwentyGirls helped to raise over $115,000 for the Vietnamese Boat People Museum, honoring our parents and many others on the same boat.

Be with us.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

...and let's end this post with a picture taken by Vien Minh Van, the photographer backstage. I look like a bird :)

Quote of the day: Call me anytime

2013-05-09T20:15:00.001-04:00

"I'll call you later."

"You can call me at anytime, sweetheart."

"Right...last time I called you at 11:45 and you yelled at me..."

30 day hot yoga challenge: Day 6

2013-05-04T21:04:00.000-04:00

This is day 6 of the 30-day hot yoga challenge and you know what? I'm addicted to hot yoga already!

Sweating makes me feel awesome as weird as it sounds; it makes me feel calm mentally. After every class, I see new opportunities to improve and to open up my mind. It changes the way I think about exercising. I still like to run, but what goes through my mind is very different when I run, I tend to see running as a test and I think I need both in my life.

I used to be as weak as a jellyfish and as inflexible as a plank of wood, especially after my injury. Now, I already see improvements since day 1. I can't wait to hear what the chiropractor says next time I go for an adjustment.

The type of yoga that I've been doing is heated vinyasa, which allows for a lot of variety and fast-paced movements in a room of 39 degrees and high humidity. I think this type of yoga is a better fit for type-A people as opposed to the slow and hold your pose for 10 minutes type of yoga...because I'd fall asleep.

The teachers also make a difference, I can feel a connection with them and it makes me want to come to their classes. They are so loveable and reflect a positive energy, which is so refreshing to someone like me who works in such a competitive environment where people wear a smile on the exterior.

PS.: This is weird, but there doesn't seem to be much difference between when I was 142 lbs and now...Hmmm. I should've taken a picture from behind, because according to people I know, I lost at least 5 pounds from behind, ha.

Dat Nguyen concert

2013-04-29T21:30:00.002-04:00

All pictures in this entry are taken by Dan Pham.

Last Saturday was the concert of the blind musician, Dat Nguyen. Half of the profit went to the Vietnamese boat people museum and the other half to 20 girls.

Some pictures of the night...

I was asked to write a critique, and I don't want to sound mean but can I just say that I don't feel connected enough to Dat Nguyen, to impaired musicians or to the cause to be able to write something of substance? I wonder if I'm the only one who feels that way. I was pretty much just there out of curiosity.

First class of hot yoga

2013-04-29T21:15:00.001-04:00

I woke up this morning at 5 AM to attend my first yoga class. I couldn't sleep the night before because I was so nervous, and I was so scared to faint or something. But after my first class, I didn't think it was that hard...okay well, maybe I didn't push myself hard enough, or maybe I work out regularly already. Also, I thought the room temperature was quite enjoyable (39 degrees), even if I looked like I came out of the swimming pool by the end, but it's not a torture like some would describe it. Oh, and I'm more flexible already and I feel so energetic!

I can't wait until my second class, which is tomorrow!

30 day hot yoga challenge

2013-04-21T20:07:00.000-04:00

I just signed up for the one-month hot yoga challenge at Enso. I never did yoga before, but I really want to try it because I'm hoping it can help my sciatica. It's been getting better since I started consulting a chiropractor, but it is still not completely healed. I really don't know if it can be completely healed some day, but I try to remain positive.

Also, I heard you can burn 300-400 calories during one session of hot yoga, which means that I can pretty much eat whatever I want again!...because I just don't think I burn enough calories when I run; my body is so used to it that I could run for hours non-stop with my magic pink shoes. Seriously. As for weight training, I still do it every other day, but it doesn't burn enough calories either, and it's rather boring if you ask me.

Some describe hot yoga as being militant, which sounds perfect for me :)

I don't think I'm exactly into fitness, but I'm looking for ways to make it more fun. You all know how easily I get bored. In high school, I used to be "on my period" for three weeks when we had gym classes...

Mindless Self Indulgence concert

2013-04-18T22:56:00.001-04:00

I got out of the office on a wednesday evening, grabbed dinner at school with a friend and then went to see one of the best concerts of my life!

Would you believe me if I said I sometimes miss being a student? Eating lunchbox in a study room, wasting time at school, walking around, sitting around, sleepless nights spent studying....no wait, I never not slept to study. I see those arts students walking around school looking like zombies, those engineering students in their labs with their face burried in the computers...what kind of life, eh. Everything seems so distant now.

I couldn't really take a nice picture, but here's one.

The first time I heard a song from Mindless Self Indulgence was probably when I was in college. I liked them the first time I heard them; I thought there was a something about them. Most songs you hear on the radio these days are forgettable. Although, it's not a group I listen to on a regular basis, I never forgot them because I thought they were quite unique...

Jimmy, the frontman, has such a powerful stage presence and a dark sense of humor. I almost fell in love with him. He put on a interactive, insane and high-energy performance. I felt like I was watching a living cartoon. He came on stage wearing a green plastic bag, and then ripped it off. At times, he would talk on the phone with God, at other times, he would play with his spirit plush.

Every song they played had the entire room bouncing. The show ended with Jimmy lip-singing to an opera song, holding a shiny red mic, with green lights in the background. I don't know why, but he reminded me of a sad clown at that moment.That moment felt nostalgic, I miss them already.

Fantastic moments happen when you don't take yourself too seriously, and these guys are so much fun! I had an amazing time!

I lost 12 pounds in 1 month, finally!

2013-04-16T20:19:00.002-04:00

Here's my progress in the past few weeks.

I just want to say that I'm not a skinny girl bragging about losing weight, because I'm not a skinny Asian girl, unfortunately. I weighed almost 9 pounds when I was a newborn; and not a lot of babies are that big. Even now, no matter how much weight I lose, I won't be very skinny, because of my hips and bones. Luckily, the fat doesn't show as much on my type of body. Why I gained weight was because I stopped being so active, and I was pretty sad during that period of time; I stayed home on most days. Also, I love carbs. Food is comforting to me, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm happy, and I just don't stop until I'm about to puke. Seriously.

Here's my weight gaining process, haha.

After graduating, I attempted losing weight 1-2 times, but was not able to maintain it...

After starving myself for several weeks, 121 pounds.

That was pretty much the heaviest I got to, 142-145 pounds.

What I am doing now is jogging for 20-30 minutes on most days, I do the "30 days shred" a few times a week, and high intensity interval training 2 times a week, eating healthier,I eat homemade food pretty much everyday except when I absolutely need to eat out, which doesn't happen often. Oh, and I can only stuff myself once a week :)

That's now. My butt didn't disappear, haha.

PS. My height is 172 cm.

PSS. I don't go to the gym; it's a waste of time.

Tax return

2013-04-13T18:23:00.001-04:00

After working as an auditor/accountant for over 2 years, I did my parent's tax return for the first time today. It put me in their shoes and it made me think of what they have sacrificed so I can live the life that I'm living, and all I'm doing for them is a tax return. What kind of life have they lived? What is happiness for them? I've been thinking about it increasingly lately as I see their health deteriorating...

Quiche

2013-04-09T21:53:00.000-04:00

"That quiche you made was so delicious!"

"I don't find it to be that good, that's why I gave you the leftovers"

Here's what I made out of boredom last Saturday. The reason I don't like it that much, although I eat it for breakfast, is because I put in too much spinach. I thought I liked spinach, but I realized I'm not too fond of it anymore, unless it's semi-crispy. Also, I shouldn't have made a crust, because that's like twice as many calories as one without, and I find it unnecessary.

Nonetheless, someone likes it, and it's kinda healthy, and it's so super easy! I might want to make this again but with cheddar cheese, cream, garlic and with broccoli, maybe.

Ingredients *without crust*
1 tbs vegetable oil
1onion chopped
1 package of spinach, chopped
5-6 eggs, depending on size
3 cups of cheese (I used Mozzarella, because that's what I already had)
Some salt and black pepper

Directions
1. Stir onions over medium heat until onions become soft. Add spinach until it looks dry.

2.Mix everything else together, and add the mixture of onions and spinach. Blend well.

3.Preheat oven to 350 degrees and bake for about 30-40 minutes. I like it when it looks brownish.

That's all! So simple!
I don't know why, but when I say "so simple", I always think of a Chinese person saying it with an accent. Is this weird?

...

2013-04-04T22:02:00.000-04:00

Is it me or is there's a big difference when I wear make-up and when I don't? I always think that people will not recognize me if I wear make-up, ha.

Picture-snapping at the old port

2013-04-01T21:17:00.001-04:00

I don't shower

2013-03-31T15:50:00.003-04:00

Me: Ok, I just finished working out. At what time do you want to meet?
Thanh: Already?
Me: Yeah, it was intense.
Thanh: You had time to shower and everything?
Me: I don't shower, and I don't smell.
Thanh: ...

Dinner with girls I barely know

2013-03-29T11:26:00.002-04:00

Most of the time, I feel I have nothing in common with these girls. I don't like fashion, I don't like make-up, I don't like shopping...and I freak out when a girl tells me I'm pretty. It's like...yeah, thanks, you yoo. It's not the kind of relationship I want to share with other girls.

I never had girly girlfriends. All my girlfriends are girls I've known since childhood or adolescence...or meanies that I love nonetheless. But girls that are always complimenting each other and talking being spoiled, etc, is quite new to me. I, sometimes, have a hard time believing what they are telling me.

Then, why am I hanging out with them? Curiosity? boredom?...I don't know. Sometimes, I feel as if I'm observing a different kind of species in the wild, and I like it. I also like how I know none of them in depth; it makes me wonder what kind of person they are in real life...Am I weird?

2013-03-23T19:45:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, I forget that I kind of look not that bad...

Getting ready for some serious workout, haha...

2013-03-18T19:41:00.003-04:00

Saturday shopping

2013-03-10T14:55:00.001-04:00

At a photography conference

2013-03-05T22:13:00.000-05:00

All pictures taken by Dan Pham.

This was a conference organized by a friend of mine to help raise funds for the Vietnamese Boat People Museum Project. It was awesome, just look at my serious face :)

La Nuit Blanche

2013-03-03T13:55:00.002-05:00

@La nuit Blanche

I kind of wanted to see the "Art Souterrain", but we were pretty late, and were hungry, so we went for some late night snack. Then, we went to the Cinematheque for "La grande nuit du rock". It was quite good, although I was very sleepy. I completely fell in love with Freddie Mercury from Queen. He has so much charisma and such a great voice. Ahh, memories..

Lastly, we went to Fantasia. I usually like short movies, because I like how they never tell you enough; it leaves up a lot of interpretation and imagination. But I thought most of the movies that night just didn't have any point...Although I could see the effort that went into producing these movies...

That was my first time going to La Nuit Blanche. I don't exactly see the point of staying up so late just to smell rotten beer, and to be in the middle of a crowd of lousy people and noisy kids; would have totally enjoyed this more during day time.

I can repair a toilet

2013-02-28T22:32:00.001-05:00

Dad: Do you need my help to assemble your new desk?
Me: Nah...I know how to assemble a desk.
Mom: Of course she doesn't, she can even repair a toilet.
Me: What is so funny? It's a fact.

Ouch, my nails, my back and my hands :(

Using the future to escape the present

2013-02-25T22:38:00.000-05:00

"You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how you'll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present." - John Green