How Values Serve You

A clearly defined set of values reduces stress and emotional turmoil. When we know what is most important to us- we make better decisions and take wiser actions. This also allows us to use our time and energy wisely. Why spend time and energy on actions that do not serve us?

Most importantly knowing what our priorities are serves as a guidance system. It lets us know when we are on course, and when we need to take a different path. Are the actions we are taking moving us closer or further away?

Defining Your Values

• The first step to knowing what is most important to you is to acknowledge it. Take some time to list the qualities that are most important to you. Here is a list of personal values from Steve Pavlina, to help get the wheels turning. Keep in mind we all have a different set of values. What are yours? Take the time to write them out.

Once you have your list of priorities in life- examine them. Are they congruent with your life today?
If they are in alignment with your current life and you are satisfied with life- awesome!

When your daily life is not reflecting your values, it’s time to do some more reflecting.

First is your list- what you hold in high regard or is it what someone else (family, friends, media) has imprinted upon you?
If any of these things are somewhat else thinks is a priority- dig a little deeper and discover it for yourself…

Now that a clearly defined list. Now it’s time to prioritize it. What is the most important item? Put it in numerical order. It is recommended to keep your list to about 10-15. My personal list is at 10.

Most importantly – take action! Keep this list where you can see frequently. It will serve as a guide and a check-in.
Changing with the seasons

Our values change with the seasons of life. One stage in my life was even I battled depression- what was at the top of my list was emotional wellness. Every day was an opportunity to become self-disciplined in becoming aware of my thoughts, feelings and how to assert them with confidence. Once I mastered this- I was at a different stage in my life- so my values changed.

Review your values every 3- 6 months. Are they different? If so write out a new list and take consistent action on what you deem most important. Life changes, and so do what we value.

Defining your personal values serves as a guidance system allowing you use your time wisely and wiser decisions. Acting in alignment with your priorities creates the ultimate life shift to living a life of fulfillment and inner peace.

Further Reading and Tools

• Living Your Values- Steve Pavlina
• Mission Statement Builder by Franklin Covey
• Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!

Sunday May 22, 2011 an F5 tornado ripped through my place of residence. Many lives were lost, homes destroyed, businesses wiped out, schools flattened, pets and so on. A huge number of people have nothing but the shirt on their backs.

The destruction is still hard to digest when it’s seen firsthand.   A frame of reference no longer exists for the streets once known.   At this time the total death count is 134, and everyone has been accounted for.

My heart goes out to those whom lost their loved ones, homes, and the lives they once knew.  My thoughts and prayers are with those whom have lost.

I am aware that the reconstruction of our city will take some time- but I am very hopeful that this dark situation brings about an immense source of light.  We’ve already witnessed tremendous amount of miracles within the last week.

People from all over have come to Joplin’s aid- it’s been overwhelming positive.   Seeing so many people at once work towards a common good when life has been filled with petty arguments regarding politics, religion, government issues and so on.  In the times of crisis we can, will and are putting nonsense issues aside to work together.

Businesses both big and small have come into help.    Making donations towards the reconstruction of our town, and providing services to those in need.    The result of all of devastation is love and compassion flourishing.

At work we see the same faces each day- we don’t know their names- but we can tell you what they like, don’t like, and what to expect from them.  We hugged so many people we didn’t know-just grateful to see them.  They provide us just as much as we do them with a sense of security and familiarity.

The beauty of this all is an opportunity to rebuild Joplin even better, and be a community that emanates love, compassion, and thrives.   It will take sometime- I already see it happening.

What this taught me is to be thankful for all the hum drum aspects in life- because one day you may wake up realize you miss those pieces.  And then- love, love, love…. it’s what the world needs now.   You can brighten someone’s day (and even your own) by spreading love and kindness through compassion, listening, a smile, hug and any other random act of kindness.

I would like to thank all of my friends- the ones I know personally and whom I have never met for your concerns, prayers, and well wishes.   It means a lot.

Mental clutter is damaging to your well-being. It can lock you into a state of inertia or leave you doing a lot of stuff only to complete nothing.

Here is an exercise to eliminate the mental clutter, and focus on what is the most important to you. The process is called mind-dumping or brain dumping. It’s a simple and effective tool to get outside your own head.

Find a clear and quiet space, where you will be free from disruptions and distractions for at least 15 minutes. If you can’t find one, then make one. I have went so far to lock myself in the bathroom to do this. No joke.

During this time write out every thought that enters your mind. List out all the things that you feel you have to do; any problems that need solved, and any random thought that enters your mind. The key to this is getting all on paper and out of your head.

Now ask yourself these questions:

What are your standards? What do you value and what is the order of importance of these areas in your life?

Often times our minds get so cluttered because we haven’t set standards and defined our values. The other scenario that contributes to the chaos is our actions aren’t congruent to our values.

Keep in mind that we are all different. The only person leading your life is YOU. Write down these answers for yourself and no one else.

Once you have listed your standards and values for your life- take a look at your list. Is there anything on this list which doesn’t contribute to your standards? Cross them off. (Obviously you will need to address matters that have serious consequences, such as paying your taxes, and etc.)

List out your values in the order of importance on a separate sheet of paper. Here is an example:

1) Health
2) Home and Family
3) Business

Take the items on your mind dump list and place them on your categorized list. Are there any items that really don’t have to be done? Mark them off.

Are there any items that can be delegated or taken care of by someone else? Make a note of who you can delegate these to. Time is one resource we cannot replace so make sure to use it wisely.

Now take action on your prioritized list immediately. Focus on the completion of no more than 3 – 5 areas in one day.

Remember to list out all the things cluttering up your mind. Protect your time. Take action on what is most important to your life. You will find yourself operating with a clear head, and accomplishing many great things by your definition of success.

Try this out and let me know how it works out for you. Do you have a different process to clear out the mental clutter? I’d love to hear about it- leave a comment down below!

To my readers and fellow bloggers-I have moved those discussions to My Passive Income Project.   I am still continuing with niche blogging and creating additional streams of income.  At the moment of writing the site is not live- still a few bugs to work out.   I expect it to be up and operational by 05/09/2011.

What you can expect to find here are discussions, tools, and tips for improving your own personal well being.  I hope you enjoy and find future posts worthwhile and helpful.

When I felt and feel sad or hurt- I cry…which most would think is a normal response.    I’m certain many of you reading this, had been told as a child,  ”There’s no reason to cry” or the infamous…

“I’ll give you something to cry about.”

Our parents, family and guardians that raised us said these things as a way to protect us.   Because they didn’t want to see us hurting or they had their own issues they were suppressing… And today the problem seems to be growing increasingly worse.

Our lives are moving faster than the speed of light.  We work, spend a great deal of time figuring out how we are going to make ends meet, furthering our education- both formally  and independently, raising children, and etc.- that rarely do we stop to become aware of what we are feeling.

We escape from our emotions by having a drink or several, watching television, video games, or working.  Just so that we don’t have to experience the pain.   The unfortunate fact of the matter is that this builds up to only come back and haunt us.   Problems continue to grow and emerge, and ultimately show back in in worst forms such as depression or other health problems.

The good news is….

we have the power to change

A magnificent beauty and power exists in all of human emotion.  The pleasurable feelings of joy, happiness, love are what  we desire the most, for obvious reasons of course.    The positive emotions cause us to create new life, help our fellow man in their time of need, bond and connect with others.

But what about the negative painful emotions?   Are they really “bad”?  And have you ever been told that you “shouldn’t” be feeling what you were feeling?

Emotions are something we ourselves create.  Ultimately we decide how we feel at any present time how to feel.

The key to mastering any painful emotion is to self awareness.   And amazingly enough the gift in experiencing emotions we change what we are feeling at any given moment in time.

Emotions are our internal guidance system.   They send us a message to take action.    When you get that nagging feeling at your gut, it’s telling you that something different needs to occur.  Either you need to do something or change the way you are looking at the issue.

The next time you feel the slightest twinge of negative feeling- stop and take the the time to ask yourself

“what am I feeling?”

and

“what events led up to this?”

Taking the time to reflect and be self-aware is the key to create a powerful and lasting change in your life-emotionally and otherwise.

When you become a master of your emotions, you then become a master of your own life.   Before reaching for that drink, lashing out at your children or whatever means  you choose to escape…take 5 minutes to identify what you are feeling.   It will truly transform your life.