Miss Oddi Speaks

Doctor, I think I have MTS. gasp

2012-02-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

Dear reader,

If you have been following this blog for the last few months, you know I am on a mission to change my life for the better. This means getting organized, getting a "real" job, and pretty much just growing up and being a big girl. For the most part, I would say I've done OK. If you have been reading my blog and watching my videos, then you probably also know that I am sick pretty much all the time.

I feel you and I have been through so much together. We've had our ups and downs, and I am still your writer, and you are still my reader. It is a close bond. It is because of this tie that I feel I must share something with you. I have MTS, and I am afraid there is no cure.

Yes folks, I have Multiple Tank Syndrome. I have my 77-gallon hex tank, my 55-gallon long, another 55 in the barn, a 20 in the barn, and I just set up my new 5-gallon planted tank. I can't help myself! I would say that aquariums are my anti-drug, but I think I probably spend more on my tanks than I ever would on actual drugs, so I'm not quite so sure that is a good thing.

I should also warn you that MTS is highly contagious. Watch enough of my videos, talk with me about all my aquatic buddies, and soon you will have your own tank at home. Give it a year, maybe two, and you will have at least one more. Just wait, my friends. One day, you will all be infected with MTS and there is nothing you can do about it! *cue maniacal laugh*

Love,

Miss Oddi

p.s. Check out my latest video! In it, I show you my 5-gallon tank build from start to finish.

p.p.s. Please subscribe to this blog and my channel. I would love to know who is watching/reading. Oh yeah, please leave some comments, too. I heart dialogue.

2012-02-12T10:56:00.002-07:00

Good morning, everyone! I just wanted to pop in here and share my newest video with you all!

So yeah, I know that was super random. However, it does nicely summarize what I've been up to of late.

Today, I start my bathroom makeover project! I'm really excited, but also lacking some motivation to go ahead and get on with it. I have a nasty cold (again) that is doing its very best to keep me in bed/on the couch. Luckily, I'm all caught up on my DVR, so at least I have that going for me. I've even run out of things to do with my fish tanks! In essence, I really don't have anything better to do at this point, which is probably the best motivator for me to get going on this project.

As usual, I will be working my way down a checklist today. I love lists because they make giant tasks seem fairly simple. They also help me maintain focus on what I want to accomplish. Without a list, I'll work for an hour, maybe two, and then head off into lala land.

Anyways, stay tuned for my bathroom project update in the next few days. I can't wait to share it with you!

Getting Crafty: DIY Cleaning Wipes

2012-01-27T01:25:00.003-07:00

Hey everyone! One of the things I want to incorporate into this project is homemade items. I love making things. It really doesn't matter what it is as long as I can say I made it. Those of you who came to my graduation party in December will remember my Christmas tree with the 30+ handmade rosettes. I just think homemade items add a touch of charm to a room, and I really want to bring more crafts into my decor.

While some crafts simply look cute, I love nothing more than a handmade item that is not only adorable, but is also practical and saves you money. Today's project, in my mind, fits the bill.

How to Make Your Own Cleaning Wipes

Materials:

1 roll of paper towels.
I chose an off-brand type with the pick-your-size perforations. That way I won't go through the wipes as fast.

2 large resealable containers.
I used these:

1 large kitchen knife.
I used a serrated one, and it made a huge mess. I would go with a regular, non-serrated blade if I were you.
2 cleaners of your choice.
I wanted to make a general, multipurpose cleaner as well as some window cleaner, so I chose lavender-scented Pine-Sol and Windex.

1/2 cup measuring cup

Con-tact paper

A Sharpie

Decorative scissors

Method:

Use your knife to cut the roll of paper towels in half. Do not attempt to remove the cardboard tube at this time.

Stuff one half of the roll into each canister. Do not worry if it is a tight fit; when you remove the cardboard roll, there will be more room.

Before:

After:

Measure out your cleaning solution and pour the contents into the canister. For my multipurpose cleaner, I used 1 cup of Pine-Sol and 2 cups of water. This made a pretty strong solution, and was more liquid than I really needed, so you could reduce the amount pretty easily. For my window cleaner, I just used 2 cups of straight Windex. You could dilute your solution or make one from scratch, but Windex is one of my favorite cleaners (my fish tanks made clean glass a bit of an obsession for me), so I just went with that.
Remove the cardboard tube from the center of each roll. Now that they are soggy, they should come right out.
Pull the center paper towel up. This is your first wipe!
Make your wipes labels. I tried to print a fancy label onto my Con-Tact paper, but it just smeared. I then got over it and used a Sharpie. It worked just fine. I cut my labels out with some fancy craft scissors to achieve a pretty edge.

Stick your labels on the appropriate containers, and then you are done! I would wait at least 15 minutes to let the solution soak into the paper towels. I rotated mine a few times to ensure even coverage.

YAY!!

Results:

To test the Windex wipes, I cleaned my bathroom mirror. I used about 5 wipes for the whole thing (the mirror is pretty huge). I also couldn't remember the last time I cleaned that mirror, so it was pretty bad. I should have taken before photos, but I didn't. Sorry. Needless to say, the wipes worked perfectly! There was no smearing, minimal lint (and I think most of that was just dust), and all the toothpaste and water marks came right up!

To test the multipurpose wipes, I cleaned my stovetop. It wasn't too bad to begin with, but it did have some food spots that I had neglected to wipe off from the other night. I used one wipe, and the stove was spotless. As an added bonus, my kitchen now smells like lavender.

Conclusion:

Overall, I feel like this first attempt at cleaning wipes was a huge success. I am super happy with the outcome. In my tutorial, I mentioned the things I would do differently. I would use a non-serrated blade, and I would use less solution for the multipurpose cleaner. Other than that, I don't think I would really change much.

In the future, I would like to try making my own facial cleansing wipes. I have smaller containers, so maybe I could make three different kinds, or give two to friends. If you have any other ideas for wipes, leave a comment below!

Final notes:

I've seen several tutorials out there for these wipes, so there are many different cleaning recipes to try. Check out Cynthia Ewer's tutorial HERE. I found hers to be quite helpful.

Each time I find one of my attempted crafts to be remotely successful, I plan on posting a tutorial either on here or on my YouTube channel, depending on what it is. I have several planned already, so stay tuned and hit that subscribe button!

Cleaning the Tanks

2012-01-24T21:55:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! Today I decided to tackle two of the major features in my living room: my fish tanks. Instead of a long post about how to clean an aquarium, check out this video:

Thanks for watching! Don't forget to subscribe here and on my Youtube channel, MissOddi. You can also follow me on Twitter @MissOddi.

And....... Update!

2012-01-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

Nine days have passed since my last post, and my house is nearly unrecognizable! Last Sunday, I finished the kitchen. I reorganized every cabinet, washed out the refrigerator, and made my pantry actually functional for a change. I removed at least six bags of trash/random stuff I don't need, and one big pile of pots and pans is set aside for Goodwill.
Here's the best part: my kitchen is STILL clean. I've even used my kitchen and it is still clean. In fact, I made a huge mess this morning while making French toast for my boyfriend, and it was clean an hour later. I really feel like this change is actually working. My kitchen is more organized, so cleaning it only takes a few minutes now. I'm super excited about my shiny sink and spotless counters.
If you haven't seen it already, check out the video I posted last week about my completed kitchen:

My current project consists of three rooms: the living room, rec room, and my bathroom. I chose to tackle these three rooms at the same time because the messes are all quite similar. The majority of the mess in these three rooms is made up of laundry, trash, and dishes. So, unlike the kitchen where I moved from one cabinet to the next, I'm taking a divide and conquer approach to this project. I've made a list (sticky notes are perfect for cleaning lists) of what I want to clean up, and I am cleaning all three rooms simultaneously. For instance, first I went through each room and picked up all the dishes. Next, I went after the trash. I've been sick for most of the week, so the going is slow. However, I am making progress. All three rooms look much better. In fact, I really just need to start wiping things down and cleaning the floors. Assuming I don't have yet another migraine (three in three days last week), that is the plan for tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be posting another video as well.

So I know it isn't much, but here's my update: The kitchen is clean, and I'm still cleaning. Yay!

Operation Clean Kitchen

2012-01-13T14:30:00.003-07:00

So my kitchen really wasn't too bad to start with. I had some dishes piled up in the sink and some mail on the table. Not really that big a deal. Here's the catch: my kitchen goes from "not bad" to "holy crap where is the floor/counter/kitchen" in about two seconds flat. The reason for this: it isn't organized very well.

As part of this growing up process, I am moving from room to room within my house and completely reorganizing them. Last night, I started with the kitchen. In the space of eight hours or so, I managed to empty out half of my cabinets, line them with new, green shelf liner, and put them back in (a better) order. After making sure my sink was shiny (a tip from the Fly Lady and a small victory for myself), I called it quits around midnight, promising to start back up again first thing in the morning.

Unfortunately, one of the side effects of working in childcare is that you wake up sick quite often. This morning, I woke up feeling like I had swallowed a box of knives. Not the best way to start the morning. I popped some handy dandy cold medicine and pain pills and crashed on the couch until they kicked in and the drowsiness began to wear off. It is now 2:20 pm, a whole five hours after I got up, and I just now returned to my kitchen project.

Today's plan of attack is as follows:

Take out trash.
Quick tip: I have about a billion pizza and soda boxes to take out with two bags of trash from yesterday. Instead of making multiple trips, I just rip each box up into small pieces and stick them in one of the bags. Anything to make one of my most hated chores a little more bearable.
Clean off counters and table.
I made a huge mess yesterday, and I want to fix things up a bit before I destroy the kitchen for the second time in 48 hours.
Tackle lower cabinets.
Most of these have pots and pans in them right now. I need to come up with a way to keep them organized so I don't go crazy. I also need to organize and clean out underneath the sink. I'm not looking forward to that.
Tackle drawers.
Of the six drawers in my kitchen, three of them are junk drawers. My objective for today: only have one junk drawer, and make it as empty as possible.
Clean out refrigerator and freezer.
I'm not a fan of this, but there is a lot of stuff in there that just needs to go. I either can't or won't eat about 80% of what is in there. Why let it take up space?
Tackle pantry.
I need to assess what I have, and what I need. I also want to move all the extra kitchen stuff that I have in my living room closet into the pantry, meaning I need to declutter and find a way to make space.
Clear off counters again.
I'm sure I've turned them back into little disaster areas by this point.
Sweep and mop floors.
Done!

Before I get to work, I wanted to share a handy cleaning tip I learned yesterday. When I cleaned out my lazy susan last night, I found the copper shelves to be covered in dried vegetable oil. Dawn and regular kitchen cleaner wouldn't take it off. The solution? Baking soda. Use a little baking soda on a damp sponge and, with a little elbow grease, the dried oil comes right off! Now my lazy susan is clean and functional! Anyways, it's time to get started. Wish me luck!

P.S. In case you didn't see it already, here's my "Not a New Year's Resolution" video. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button!

Not a New Year's Resolution

2012-01-12T14:45:00.001-07:00

In the last 24 hours, I've made some significant decisions about how I want to live my life. Currently I live a life of complete chaos. Aside from work, I have no real schedule, no set routine. Consequently I have allowed myself to get by without any real responsibility as well. That is about to change.

I'm 22. I have graduated from college, I am in a committed relationship, and I live in my own house. I am a grownup in every sense of the word. It is time I start acting like it. I am done with excuses. I have time now, and I finally have the energy. It is time for me to grow up and get organized.

Confession: my home is a disaster zone 99.9% of the time. I haven't cleaned my bedroom since last March. I'm not joking. The rest of my house is in fairly decent shape at the moment, but that is only because I had to keep it clean for company during the holidays. Most of the time, I don't bother with it either. I'm sick of living in this pit, however. Instead of cleaning my house for family and friends, I am going to keep it clean for myself.

This is not a New Year's resolution.This is me recognizing that it is time for me to grow up and start taking responsibility for my life. I'm in the process of finding my first "real" job. If I can't take myself seriously, why would an interviewer?

So here we are. I'm ready to make some changes. I do not expect a rapid, overnight transformation, but I do expect myself to treat this project as seriously as I used to treat school. To keep myself accountable, I plan on documenting my progress here on my blog as well as on my Twitter feed (@MissOddi) and Youtube channel (MissOddi). Stay tuned as I reorganize my home and revamp my life!

15 Things About ME

2011-09-27T18:10:00.000-06:00

Sick day musings

2011-09-27T18:03:00.002-06:00

You heard right, I took a sick day. I caught some nasty bug from the kids at work, and really wasn't up to facing the world today. Aside from the inability to keep anything in my system, today has been pretty relaxing. I woke up on time to go to work just in case nobody could cover my shift. As a result, I have had an entire day at home that wasn't wasted by sleeping.

I spent most of the morning writing a paper for my intercultural communication class. It is due tonight, but I submitted it via email so I didn't have to go in. The paper was based off of an interview I conducted last week. I interviewed a girl from the Philippines. We were pen pals when we were ten, and this is the first real conversation I have had with her since. It was also monumental for me because it was the first time I had ever had a spoken conversation with her... the first time I ever heard her voice. Whereas as a child, we exchanged letters, last week we had a video chat on Skype.

I know I sound ancient when I say this (and I'm only 22), but I find the advance in technology over the last decade to be absolutely astounding. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that I could have a face to face conversation with my friend from across the globe.

I am equally amazed by my cell phone. I remember when my parents got their first cell phones. They were clunky Nokia phones that didn't do much besides place a call (they did have that snake game though, which was pretty cool). Today, I can do so many things with my iPhone that you can hardly compare the two phones! Not only can I call, but I can also text, skype, play games, check my email... the list goes on! Again, I know I sound super old when I say things like this, but if you really stop to think about it, how can you NOT be amazed?

My interview with my pen pal also made me think a lot about American culture (I think that was the point of the assignment, anyway). In particular, it made me consider the issue of outsourcing. I understand that many Americans need work. I am extremely grateful for my job. However, after talking to my friend, I have come to know the other side of the story. She grew up in an orphanage because her mother couldn't afford to care for her. Hundreds if not thousands of children live on the streets. These jobs are vital to boosting their economy and placing roofs over their heads. I'm not saying that we don't need those jobs; all I'm saying is that the workers should not be villainized for taking them. They need them just as much as we do. My friend works in technical support for AT&T. She says that many Americans are polite when she speaks with them. However, she has many who are quite rude to her. I find it sad that we treat other humans with disdain simply for taking a job that wasn't offered to us. Outsourcing is a serious issue, I agree, but it is not fair to judge the worker for the corporation's decisions.

Anyways, sitting around all day with nothing but my thoughts (and my dog) to keep me company has made me really think about life in general. Maybe we all need to take days like this occasionally. Maybe the world would be a better place.

I'm on Youtube!

2011-09-26T22:45:00.000-06:00

Hello readers! In addition to this blog, I have also created a Youtube channel under the name MissOddi. Check out my intro video and be sure to subscribe!

2011-09-25T10:49:00.001-06:00

Good morning, readers! I know it has been ages since my last post, but it has been a crazy couple of months! Let me give you a brief recap to get you up to speed...

On July 1st, a mere week and a half after my last post, my roommate walked out on me. He didn't give any notice, and I was stuck with all the bills that were due pretty much right then. Because I was stupid and trusting, I didn't require a deposit from him due to the fact that he was family (again, I know it was stupid). So yeah, I immediately had a lot of unexpected expenses thrust upon me.

In recoil to my roommate's abandonment, I picked up as many shifts as I could at work, leaving me utterly exhausted. I also tried to find another roommate, but because my lease is up in December and there is no guarantee of renewal, I had a pretty tough time of it. After paying a few bills and doing some math, I decided to forgo the whole roommate experience and stick it out on my own. It has now been almost three months, and while money is tight, I am making it.

I'm also super happy with my decision to live alone. While some people are super social, I am definitely not when it comes to time at home. I am very sensitive to the energies in my home, and therefore do not like when people overstay their welcome (or live with me) because certain parts of the house become unbearable for me. With my former roommate, for example, I would become agitated or upset just by walking down the hallway towards his room. Now that I've cleaned (scrubbed, really) and cleansed the entire house after his departure, I feel at home again... in my own home. His old room, which was once mine, has been reclaimed and is now my beautiful craft room/office. I constantly burn my favorite incense in there, and my collection of fairies, what I call my "Fairy Forest" is proudly on display. While they are simply silly figurines, I do love them and find them to be highly inspirational.

In addition to all the changes at home, I have also entered my final semester of college. I only have nine credits left (three classes), and then I will have completed my degree in English. I'm so excited to be nearing completion! The fact that school is ending has forced a lot of decision making upon me. Do I go to grad school? Do I find a "real" job? What is the best career choice for me? Currently, I am torn. My dream in life is to be a writer. I love fantasy fiction, and I would say I have a decent skill set. However, I know how tough of a market fantasy fiction is to break into, so realistically speaking, I can't quit my day job. One solution I am considering right now is to work from home as a free-lance writer online. This would give me the flexible hours I want so I can work on my novel. However, it is hard to tell if I will be successful with this venture. I don't know if I can make enough money to pay my bills. It is scary to jump feet first into working from home. Right now I'm testing the waters on my days off, and so far I've been OK. If I go this route, my goal is to be working from home, full-time, by Christmas.

The other option I'm considering is to attend grad school and become a librarian. I love books, and libraries are some of the most magical places on the planet. I can see me doing this job as a career, but #1, I'm not sure I would love it, and #2, grad school is quite the investment for a job that won't pay that much in the end. I just can't decide.

I'm leaning towards working home for at least a little while. If I find down the road that I miss being part of the regular work force, I can always return to school and pursue librarianship, right? I'm horrible with making decisions, and because this one will likely play a huge role in defining who I am as an adult, I am especially struggling with this.

So yeah, a lot has been going on in my life of late, an I have much to look forward to. I've been especially inspired to be creative lately, so I hope to return to this blog with a gusto. I'm also working on a new Youtube channel, but I'm not sure what I will talk about on there just yet. I'll post more information once it becomes available, so stay tuned. In the meantime, love and light to all of you blessed readers!

So yeah... summer classes SUCK!

2011-06-20T10:55:00.000-06:00

During the regular school semester, I procrastinate. I do. I can't help it! I just have way more fun things to be doing than writing literary analysis, sorry. However, during the summer, my list of fun things grows exponentially! I'm taking three summer classes this year (one at a time), and I've just begun the second one. What I've learned so far is that it is physically impossible for me to do any summer class homework until the day it is due. This is really not good because: a) it's an online class with seriously stupid morning deadlines b) they are art history classes so I'm writing about stuff I don't really know c) the assignments have retarded word minimums so I find myself using passive voice and terrible word choice just to hit the limits d) all of the above. While I like all the pretty pictures, I hate writing about them! I don't know enough about art to do more than go, "This is pretty because I like the colors," and I KNOW that's not what she's looking for. With an English paper, I can make up stuff until the cows come home and be relatively accurate because I know what I'm doing. With these papers, I'm still making stuff up. The only difference is, I don't actually have a clue about what I'm doing. It sucks and I hate it.

In other news, I'm supposed to be doing yard work today. It is raining. Somehow I don't think the yard work is going to get done. I saw a little bird with a worm outside and it looked super cold so I don't think I want to go out there. Who wants to be super cold like a little bird? Not me! Today is my only day off that isn't already filled up with stuff to do, though. This detail makes my life a little difficult. Maybe I'll call Granddad and see what he wants to do. He has the truck for all the dirt we need to haul in, so hopefully he will be like, "screw it." Then I can not do my yard work and not feel guilty at the same time!

So I know this has kinda been pointless and ranty and poorly written. Deal with it. I am. I've been up since five and have already written a five page paper this morning. All my good writing has been used up on a pointless comparison of two medieval bestiaries.

Better Today

2011-04-27T15:02:00.000-06:00

So I'm officially two and a half weeks out from the end of the semester! In the last week, I managed to pull off some pretty huge assignments. I finished two annotated bibliographies (haven't gotten the grades back for these yet), a speech about how Rachel Carson manipulates grammar to enhance her rhetoric in Silent Spring (A), and a paper analyzing my own use of grammar (A). I feel like I'm finally on the downhill slope of things. All I have left is an 8-10 page research paper on Don DeLillo's White Noise, a 10-15 page research paper on the role of women as veterinarians in 15-17th century literature, an Advanced Grammar final (should be a cake-walk), and a 400-question Practical Meteorology final. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but the end is in sight! Yay!

Just a week after my last final, I fly out to Alabama to see my sister graduate high school. She's pretty amazing. If everything goes according to plan, I will also be watching her first ballroom dance competition on May 22. The plan, my friends, can be viewed here. If you love me (and especially if you don't) you will see what she has to say.

While anxiously awaiting my upcoming trip, I've found myself having a lot of obnoxious migraines -- all of which are, I believe, related to my massive amount of stress. For instance, on Sunday, I left work early to have Easter lunch with my family at Grandma's house. I felt fine. When I got home, I sat down to watch my fish and check for any guppy babies (sadly, I still haven't found any). I still felt fine. Fifteen minutes later, I was in my room with the door closed, shades drawn, and covers over my head because of a ridiculous migraine that pretty much made me want to die. This same migraine delivered two aftershocks on Monday and Tuesday, rendering both days useless homework-wise. I used to never get headaches like this. Now I'm averaging 1-2 a week.
Today has been much better, however. I only had a tiny headache this afternoon, but as soon as I ate, it quickly dissolved. I also used my $10 off coupon at JC Penny's to buy a new pair of khaki pants; my one pair of work pants developed a hole in the knee last night, so I needed to replace them. I was pretty excited to see they were having a huge sale on anything, and almost walked out of that store with way more stuff than I needed (or could really afford). My better judgment prevailed for once, and I simply left with the one pair of pants for ten bucks. So yeah, no headache, a great shopping deal, and only 4 hours of work scheduled for this evening have me in a pretty good mood.

2011-04-24T22:23:00.000-06:00

Happy Easter, everyone! In true Colorado fashion, I woke up to find snow on the ground this morning. We never seem to have snow on Christmas or New Years, but it is pretty much a given on Easter and Halloween. By noon the snow was melted, but at least it was there this morning.
I was scheduled to work today from 9-6. I'm not sure why; who the hell is going to feel like working out on Easter? Even people who don't observe the religious side of the holiday are going to use it as an excuse to gorge themselves and hang out with friends and family. As usual on Sundays, I worked the front desk. By ten o'clock, we only had about fifteen kids. It was so predictably slow. My boss started sending people home around noon, and I was the first to go.
After I stopped by my house to change out of my uniform and put the dog outside, I went to my grandma's house for lunch with all the extended family. It was great to see them on a happy occasion for once (earlier this month -- on my birthday, no less -- we gathered for my great aunt's funeral). While the energy was a little different without my Aunt Sharon's physical presence (I'm sure some part of her was still there), we still had a great time just being family.
It is weird to see all my second cousins' kids growing up. The house was full of toddlers today, and three more babies are due in the next couple of months... one of them being my first nephew! Needless to say, the epic Easter egg hunt was a success, as usual. Since most of us older children were unable to attend, the eggs were all filled with candy and pennies. Two years ago the eggs were pretty much all stuffed with money.
I drove away from Grandma's thinking how lucky I am to have such a huge and loving family. My family is so large that I literally don't know everyone's names, nor do they all know mine. Despite this, at each family gathering the air is so filled with loving energy that it practically crackles and hums. You may not feel well when you get there, but somehow you always manage to have a blast.
After Easter lunch, I went home to get some homework done. I have another annotated bibliography due tomorrow evening, so I needed to knock that out tonight. However, within about fifteen minutes of crossing the threshold, I developed a massive migraine that put me out of commission for the next five or six hours. My head still hurts a little, but I'm trying to gear myself to at least work on some of my bibliography. I'll have four hours tomorrow to finish it up, but I'd like to have a pretty large chunk completed tonight.
These migraines are driving me bonkers. Right now, I'm averaging about two a week... not good when you have as much homework as I do. The really difficult thing is how quickly they show up. I literally went from feeling great to hiding under my covers to block the light in a quarter of an hour. That doesn't give me much time to head it off. Once one hits, all I can do is take some medicine and try to sleep it off; I'm so sound and light sensitive that my roommate can't even do anything at this end of the house without making me absolutely miserable. I wish I could figure out what causes these migraines and how I could prevent them. I never had them before, so I think a big part of it is that I have too much on my plate right now. Hopefully my smaller work load after this semester will be enough to keep me from getting any more migraines.
Do you get migraines often? How long to they take to develop, and what do you do to prevent/treat them? Leave a comment in the box below.

Another Day, Another Accident

2011-04-21T12:24:00.000-06:00

So I got sent home from work an hour early today. Unlike yesterday and the day before, it wasn't because we were overstaffed and I volunteered to leave. Rather, I got to go because a kid peed on me! I am so not a fan. Luckily, I have my hoarding tendencies to fall back on and I had a pair of sweats in the trunk of my car. I changed in the front seat with a jacket over my lap; there was no way I was going to stay in those pants any longer than I needed to. I was upset at first, but then I realized it was the Universe using its sense of humor to get me out of work so I could get homework done (which I'm going to work on as soon as I'm done with this post). The only thing I'm really bummed about is I when I threw my work pants in the wash, I forgot about the Pokewalker I had in my pocket. I have it sitting out on the windowsill in the guest bedroom. Hopefully it will dry and return to working order.

I'm in the most relaxing room of my house right now, surrounded by my two fish tanks and my dog. In my 77, I have a bunch of peaceful community fish who swim around lackadaisically. My 55 is filled with much more active fish who zip about from place to place. Admiring the contrast between the two habitats leaves me feeling balanced and centered. I don't need to be as crazy as my giant danios, but I should be less lazy than my wandering guppies.

I'm still having trouble getting myself motivated to do my homework. I know it is due by five tomorrow, but I'm struggling with convincing myself to care. I'm so exhausted at this point that a nap sounds divine, and just about everything else sounds like way too much work. I've been procrastinating more this semester than I ever have, and that is saying a lot coming from me. My big problem is that I can't figure out how to force myself to cut it out and get my work done. In the past, I've always been able to pull things off at the last minute. I just feel like that won't work this time.

Senseless Nothing

2011-04-20T23:38:00.000-06:00

Yet again, I want to post a blog without knowing what I want to say. I'm beginning to think I just need to write something non-academic to avoid a meltdown.
Today I went to class and delivered my grammar analysis speech based on Rachel Carson's Silent Spring. If you aren't familiar with her work, familiarize yourself. Seriously. Carson is pretty much amazing for a variety of reasons, but I love Silent Spring for the impact it has had on the United States and, to some degree, the entire world. My speech focused on how Carson manipulates grammar to reinforce her rhetorical argument. Her sentence structures mirror the points she is making. Anyways, I went to deliver my speech (I went second in the class), and I had a major technology malfunction. While I could get my Powerpoint to show up on the projector, I couldn't call up my notes on the computer because it wouldn't recognize the projector as a separate screen. So, I pretty much delivered my speech extemporaneously/slightly from memory. Yay for that Advanced Public Speaking course I took a few years ago. I got 19/20, so I'm pretty happy.
After school, I went home to work on homework, but was distracted for several hours by my siblings calling me on the phone. As much as I have to get my homework done, talking to my brother and sister is far more important to me... especially considering the fact that they live on the other side of the country. I've been really depressed lately, so spending time with them today was great.
Only half an hour into my shift this evening, I was sent home because we were overstaffed. I didn't mind; I volunteered. The only thing that annoyed me is that they didn't call me before I left the house. With gas prices climbing, I would have been more than happy to just stay home altogether.
This evening I tried (rather unsuccessfully) to work on my annotated bibliography for American Lit. Out of the ten entries, I have one complete and another halfway done. Like I have every night for the last few weeks, I got really depressed/unmotivated around seven and haven't done anything since. I should have at least gone to bed rather than waste all my time online, but oh well. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. It will be; the stupid assignment is due Friday.

I know this has been a long, rambling post about a whole lot of nothing, but I just needed to get something on here. I may be losing my mind, but at least I'm writing in the process... now if I could just find the inspiration to get this need focused on my novel.

2011-04-19T19:28:00.000-06:00

I don't know what it is, but I felt led to post a blog today. I know I haven't been on here in ages; I also know nobody will read this, but whatever.
This semester has been trying to say the least. I knew from the beginning it would be hard, but I am still amazed at how busy and exhausted I am all the time. It started with me getting a new job and my own place. I love that I have my own home now, and my job is fantastic. However, working 40+ hours a week to keep up with bills is certainly taxing on both my body and my studies. My main problem right now is I can't seem to muster up the motivation necessary for completing my assignments. This is obviously a problem as I'm entering the last three weeks of class. I have a speech due tomorrow, an annotated bibliography on Friday, another annotated bibliography on Monday, an 8-10 page research paper next Friday, and a 10-15 page research paper due the Monday after that. Despite, or perhaps because of, this massive mountain of homework, I can't seem to focus on it long enough to get it done. I'm at the point now where I'll do anything - even make a post on my dusty blog - to avoid my homework. I don't know if I'm overwhelmed, uncaring, too tired, or a mixture of the three. What I do know is that I am having the hardest time doing what I know I need to get done to be successful. This is such a strange space for me to be in, and I can't work out how to overcome it. I've tried grounding and centering, but it doesn't really seem to be helping. When I meditate, I fall asleep. None of the things I normally do to calm me down and get me to focus seem to have an effect. I know that I'm manifesting this negative energy through my thoughts and actions, but even this conscious knowledge feels insurmountable.
I'm at that point where I need an outside perspective to give me guidance. Nothing I try is working, and I'm fed up. I am trying to trust that God and the Universe will bring everything back into order, but my house is a mess, my car is a wreck, my studies are in shambles, and my grades are so close to being in the crapper that I can almost smell it. If things don't change, I'm going to lose my mind (Who's to say I haven't already?).

Insomnia Strikes Again (Dun Dun Dunnnnnn)

2010-07-30T00:23:00.000-06:00

I was up until 6 a.m. last night. Seriously. I just couldn't sleep to save my life. If the option was to go to sleep or get shot in the face, I probably wouldn't be alive to post this right now. It is so frustrating because there is no real reason for me to stay up so late. I love sleeping. It is in my top three favorite pastimes. So why can't I get my brain to shut the hell up for five minutes so I can can slip into Dreamland? I don't know, but I wish I could figure it out. These last few weeks have been exhausting.

Dex always says, "You gotta get your sleep schedule back on track." I wholeheartedly agree. But doing that is impossible. I refuse to take sleeping pills, and when I tried a melatonin supplement, I was a nauseous zombie the whole next day. Not my idea of fun. Plus, when I'm up until six in the morning, that means I sleep until one in the afternoon. I would have just stayed up, but once I got tired, I totally crashed. I didn't have a choice.

Lately, I've been trying to stay very relaxed, hoping that doing so may help me sleep more. Unfortunately, trying and doing are two very different things. With all the crap that has been going on, no amount of relaxation techniques seem to be helping. The most effective method for me is to draw a (VERY) hot bath, light about fifteen candles, and read a book in the tub for about an hour. Of course, I use my lavender scented bath salts (homemade, of course) and Bath and Body Works "sleepy soap." I have about a 60% success rate. In any case, I'm always a sucker for a hot bath and steamy novel. Gotta love the occasional trashy romance.

So what do you do to fall asleep? I've been considering digging out my yoga mat, doing some stretching, and spending some time meditating before bed each evening. Any tips would be appreciated. I just really want to feel well rested again.

House Sitting My Own Home

2010-07-25T23:27:00.000-06:00

So although I had to go to work today, it was an alright Sunday for me. I overslept, which is usually the case (especially since I stayed up until about four in the morning due to Mequa's coughing and Nugget's barking) and made it to work about five minutes late. The first hour of my shift was a very grumpy one, mostly because I wanted to be back in bed and hadn't consumed nearly enough soda by then.

Dex showed up an hour later (his shift was 12-5 while mine was 11-6) and I immediately began perking up. Hard not to with that one cracking jokes about every single display idea I had. Sometimes I love being an English major... the amount of quotes and symbolism we can feed into a simple candle display is absurd. We decided one setup was a very subtle water molecule model while another was a blatant phallic symbol suggesting male superiority and fighting against the upheld tradition that candles are for sissies (how could it be, with such a tall candle as that?). You get my point... we had some good times.

When lunch rolled around, I found myself craving a smoothie instead of actual food. When I talked to the lady at Orange Julius, I found out mall employees get a discount! Score! I got a huge triple berry smoothie for the price of a soda at any of the other vendors in the food court. And it was delicious.

After work, I went straight home to an empty house (aside from all the pets). My family flew to Mexico today. I am slightly jealous, but I am loving the silence created by their absence. I simply adore being the only human on the property. The sense of peace and privacy is one I rarely get to enjoy, and it is mine until they return on Thursday! The only real drawback is that I'm kinda forced to enjoy it out here because I need to be home in the mornings and evenings to take care of Mequa (who is doing much better, by the way). That means no partying it up in town with Dex's family. He wants me to come over for some homemade pizza, but I'm afraid that won't be until next week because of the dog. Of course, he could always come out here... I have an oven too lol. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I'm perfectly content to curl up with my Kindle and my laptop for the evening, just as I have done tonight.

More Than I Can Bear? Possibly.

2010-07-23T23:41:00.000-06:00

Yesterday went down in the books for one of Miss Oddi's most stressful days ever. And don't think I'm exaggerating. I wish I was.

It all began at precisely 8:03 in the morning when my stupid cell phone started vibrating. Blearily groping for both the phone and my glasses, I struggled to disentangle myself from the mass of sheets that had entrapped me. My tired eyes worked hard to focus on the tiny words of the text message sent by my dad. When they did, I broke down in tears.

"Good morning," it read, "I am at the vet with Mequa, [sic] she lost another fight. I will call you with more info."

As you may or may not know, Mequa is my 13-lb Bichon Frise. She has this uncanny knack for getting into trouble, compounded with a Napoleon Complex that's out of this world. Mequa doesn't seem to understand that she can't quite take a dog 5,000 times her size. Two years ago this November, I was busy typing away when I heard some serious yelping. I instantly recognized it was her and began screaming for her to come up to the house, all the while throwing my flip flops on and rushing out to find her. I swung the beam of the flashlight out across the road just in time to catch a glimpse of an enormous animal slinking into the shadows. You know that part where Harry first thinks he sees the Grim in Harry Potter? Yeah... that's about how I felt. Freaking terrified. I knew in that instant that my dog was dead. No way she could survive something that huge.

Surprisingly, she didn't die. While I was frantically searching for any remains of my little white fluff ball, my stepbrother was trying to get my attention from the back door.

"She's up here!" he cried. "Hurry! She doesn't look good."

When I got back up to the house, I was mortified. Mequa had deep gashes all across her back and shoulders. I was sure she was a goner. I flew through the house gathering my keys and wallet and put her into the car. Though it was almost midnight, I had to get her to the vet. Fast. Twenty minutes later, we pulled up at the after hours emergency vet clinic. They made us wait for almost an eternity, and then said they couldn't do anything unless I had almost $1,000 up front. I'm a college student. Of course I didn't have that kind of cash. They sent Mequa and I home (of course, I'm bawling my eyes out) after charging me $60 to do absolutely nothing besides waste almost six hours of my time.

The next morning, I took her to our normal vet. Needless to say, I was quite relieved to find her in about the same shape as the night before. Exhausted, sore, and in shock, but not dead, dying, or even bleeding really. The vet agreed that she was stable, if still hurt pretty badly and set to work putting her back to rights. With nothing left for me to do for her, I went on to school where I proceeded to break down crying in front of one of the grumpiest professors I ever had (though I do love him dearly after a semester of crazy writing). I think he was more than a little shocked, especially since all he said was that the stuff I was writing that morning wasn't quite up to par with my normal work, but was still good. The rest of the day traveled down a similar vein until about six in the evening when my step-mom called to let me know Mequa was out of surgery and at home. She also informed me that the vet's best guess was that she had been attacked by a mountain lion, which she thought was crazy until I reminded her of the one that lives only about two miles away. Immediately after my final class for the day, I sped all the way home, getting pulled over and breaking down in front of a police officer on the way. Oddly enough, I didn't start crying until after he said I was getting off with a warning. I was just so relieved to be able to return on my merry way that I couldn't help it.

Since that night, Mequa has made a full recovery with little to no scarring.

And then yesterday she had to go get herself hurt again. From the bite wounds, it is clear that this time, it was a dog that got her. It looks as if it grabbed her by the nose and throat. Outwardly, her cuts don't look nearly as bad as the last time. However, the placement is a huge issue. The mountain lion got her by the back, where she has crap loads of loose skin that the stupid cat ripped right through. This time, the dog ripped an artery or something in Mequa's neck, causing it to fill up with a pocket of blood. So while it didn't look as bad, it was far more serious. Mequa is one lucky dog, however, because she again didn't die right then and there, nor did she bleed out while waiting for the vet. They fixed her back up, drained the pocket of blood, and sent her home around six thirty last night.

All day yesterday I spent shrouded in guilt. If only I hadn't been so tired the night before. If only I had gone home instead of staying in town for the night. If only I had asked someone to let Mequa into my room for the evening. If only I had made the time to finish patching up the fence last weekend. If only... then she wouldn't have gotten in another fight. All this self-imposed guilt literally made me sick.

Not good when you are going in for a physical first thing in the morning. "My, your pulse is up," the nurse said.

"Yeah," I thought. "Of course it is. I'm having a freaking panic attack over here."

On top of all this, I found out my mom, who I mentioned was sick last week, isn't responding to medication and is actually getting worse. Luckily, the doctor isn't worried and just prescribed her some stronger stuff.

Between my mom, my dog, and my stupid doctor visit, I was completely overwhelmed yesterday. It was clear that Dex wanted to do something to help, but was totally at a loss when it came to determining what I needed. I didn't want to do anything, didn't want to eat anything, and especially didn't want to talk about it. I curled up in the recliner with my Kindle and told him not to worry and to get some homework done.

Apparently not long after that, I fell asleep. Sometime that afternoon, Dex had me go lay down and tucked me in, though I don't remember that at all. All I know is that several hours later, he was waking me up to see if I was doing OK and if I was staying for dinner. I think that I totally crashed because I unconsciously made the decision that sleeping was a far better alternative to having yet another total meltdown. About half an hour after I woke back up, I got a phone call from Dad saying Mequa was OK and that he was taking her home. I immediately gathered my things and headed out to the house, pulling in the driveway only seconds after Dad.

To relieve some tension, I went to Jen's house for a massage this morning. I didn't realize just how much I needed it until I left, and I'm so grateful that I have her to help me out. Pretty much everyone in my family tried to convince me that Mequa's attack wasn't my fault and, while I still feel a little guilty, I am certainly feeling much better. I realize that my being home had nothing to do with it, as she could get hurt at any time of day, in the yard or out. She is a small dog, after all.

I am pleased to say that, while she is still obviously hurting, Mequa seems to be doing so much better than yesterday. She's had more water, walks around more, and even has the audacity to beg for treats (of course I give in every time... I'm just so happy she's alive for me to dote on). Right now she's sleeping, but a few minutes ago I took a break from writing to play with her for a few seconds. She seems to have regained her unique, silly personality that I have come to love so very much.

tl;dr version: My dog got attacked and stressed me out, but she is doing OK now and I am very happy. :)

Of Reading, Fighting, and Rodeo

2010-07-17T12:03:00.000-06:00

My, it has been a busy couple of days! It seems my weekends this summer are busier than my workdays! I'm not used to having so many things planned back-to-back-to-back, but I'm loving being out and about all the time, even if my gas gauge does not.

Thursday was my first day off of the week. I closed the night before, so you can be sure that I slept in until about noon. I love my sleep! At three, I took my stepbrother into town and dropped him off at work. I then had a few hours to kill and, since Dex was busy with homework, I decided to drive up to Manitou. What a silly idea that was. That little tourist trap was PACKED! I could not find a free parking spot to save my life (and I wasn't paying $5 just to park for two hours). I just drove up and up Manitou Ave. until all of a sudden, I was back on 24! I have no idea how I managed to do that, but oh well. So I took a lovely mountain drive for a while and got about halfway to Woodland Park before I turned around and headed back down.

Around 5, I arrived at Bear Creek Park. I still had an hour to kill before everyone else showed up, so I found myself a nice shade tree, sat down at its base, and got some reading done. Some of you may know that one of my summer goals was to read Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. I absolutely love it, but it is really long, even for me. I think I'm now about 79% of the way through it. I would have finished long ago if I hadn't decided to finish Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series. Hey? I can't read "smart people" books ALL the time. I've got to get my fantasy kick in over the summer as well. Having the chance to read out in the park was lovely. I was swarmed by little bugs, but being in the foothills and watching as the storm rolled over the park and then unleashed just beyond was awesome. I was thrilled that the lightning and thunder seemed to match the tone of the novel at the time. It was so relaxing, and extremely fun.

When 6 rolled around, I was practically jumping up and down. It was my first Society of Creative Anachronisms (SCA) meeting, and I was ecstatic. What is the SCA? Well, it basically boils down to a group of people who reenact the middle ages (1600's and back). There is fighting, feasting, dancing, and so much more! In my own words, the SCA is a group of people who want to "nerd out" just as much as I do, and I love it. All the people were very friendly and welcoming, and I had a blast learning more about what SCA members actually do. They have two types of fighting, both where you basically beat the crap out of one another, and they also have an archery group (no compounds, of course). I originally thought I might want to get involved in the fighting, but after watching them go at it for three hours, I realized my knees probably wouldn't appreciate it. Heavy fighting is a definite "no" from me, but I still may consider rapier, if the doctor I'm seeing in a few weeks says it is OK. I am extremely excited about the archery, however. Now I just need a bow. Anyone want to go to the Archery Hut? I'm pretty sure Dad is stoked about my wanting a bow. I know I am.

One of the great things, in my opinion, about the SCA is they have specific events where you wear period garb (costumes). For this reason, among others, being an SCA member can become quite expensive. This was one of the reasons I was a little apprehensive about joining at first. Apparently, I lucked out on Thursday, however. Giovanni and his wife were clearing out some of their old stuff! What didn't go home with people went into the trash. I ended up taking home 2 Elizabethan gowns, a cotehardie, a skirt with matching jacket, and a big coat. So now I have plenty of garb, all for free! I'm very excited to attend some events (like the upcoming Baron's War) in my new period clothing.

Friday, I also slept in. It is pretty much what I do anytime I can. Then, I sat around and did a whole lot of nothing, which I loved. I read my book, cried over Say Yes to the Dress, and ate soup. It was a good day. Around 7, I drove into town to meet my friend Andy for the 10:10 showing of Inception in IMAX. We hung out in line (not a very long one), ate burgers, and basically had a good time. The movie was fantastic. I definitely want to see it again (preferably not in IMAX and in a much cooler location... all the action plus the heat was making me sick). It may have just been that I was tired, but it seemed pretty complicated to me, so a second (or third) viewing will definitely help me figure it all out. I did love it though. Probably my favorite of all the movies I've seen thus far this summer.

My plans are a little unstable today. I'm not quite sure how I will be spending my afternoon. Again, I slept in... though not too late on account of my knee screaming that it was time to get up and walk around. Something about sitting in movie theaters locks my knees up every freaking time. I was going to go to the Renaissance Festival, but nobody wants to go with me and I don't want to go by myself. Oh well, it is here for two or three more weeks. So now I'm not sure what I'm doing. I know that tonight, Dad and I are going to the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo. Neither of us have been to a rodeo since the Stock Show in January, so we figured it was about time (especially since we missed PBR). I'm looking forward to spending the evening out with my dad.

In Threes

2010-07-14T23:31:00.000-06:00

My family has long subscribed to the superstitious belief that bad things happen in threes. For the most part, I find it holds true in my experience. For example, within a few days' time in 2007, I came down with shingles, my Aunt Shirley had a stroke and passed away, and my grandfather had to go to the hospital for emergency bypass surgery. One, two, three. Two years ago, my horse, dog, and a tank full of fish all died within a week. One, two, three.
My boyfriend and some of you readers would say, "That is all just coincidence. Your brain is making connections to fit your superstition. A rule of four would work the same for you." Regardless, today was another terrible day of threes. This morning, my mom told me she got bit by a spider and now has a staph infection. One. This evening, I found out that my stepmom's father is in the hospital and likely won't make it through the night. Two. I also found out that my Uncle Gary, who has been battling cancer for months now, passed away this afternoon. Three.

Uncle Gary,
I did not know you well, but the memories I have are fond ones. I remember when I was a little girl, I came over to your house to discover one of your dogs had a huge litter of puppies. You gave my siblings and I two of them, who turned out to be some of the best dogs I ever had. Thank you for Wrinkles and Grins, and all the delightful moments they brought into my life.
Rest in peace, Uncle Gary. May you be forever free from the pain that has plagued you in these recent weeks.
Love,
Audrea

Nashville to Gatlinburg

2009-12-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

Though checkout wasn’t until ten (according to Mom and Karl… the sign on the hotel room door said noon, but whatever), mine and Alyssa’s phones were buzzing cheerily at eight.

“Time to get up!” they read. Mere seconds later, “Are you up, [sic] Kari’s flight has been cancelled because of a bird.”

Ah. So it all makes sense now. Mom’s stress and feelings of hopelessness towards Kari’s situation of being stuck on the other side of the country had to be remedied by asserting control over the morning routines of her 20 and 17-year-old daughters.

“Give us an hour,” I text back, “Alyssa just hopped in the shower. Obviously, I’m next.” Putting my cell on silent, I rolled over and closed my eyes until it was my turn to prepare for the day

Shortly after leaving our lovely hotel and all those blissfully soft pillows, we arrived at the Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Not only was it loud and over-crowded (making my claustrophobic self freak out more than just a tad), but also the food was revolting, a fact which my younger sister didn’t hesitate to point out.

“Don’t be ugly,” my mother chided.

“The only thing ugly here are these pancakes,” Alyssa shot back.

One bathroom whose quarters were terrifyingly close, two catnaps, and four hours later, we finally pulled into Gatlinburg, Tennessee. The quaint tourist town was blanketed in an inch or two of fresh powder and looked every bit like the picture perfect place for a Christmas card, all decked out in holiday array.

Upon our arrival at the cabin just at the top of one of the small mountains surrounding Gatlinburg (small as in Appalachian vs. Rocky Mountain small), we discovered our driveway had not been plowed and there was no way two vehicles without 4-wheel drive were going to make it down the steep grade. Nonetheless despite our protests, my stepfather was determined to try. Luckily my sister was smart enough to catch it on video.

Obviously it was an unsuccessful endeavor and now the SUV is stuck. At least this meant the end of our mini road trip and Alyssa and I could finally set up the Christmas tree and watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Day of Rest

2009-10-24T14:06:00.000-06:00

Today is my first day off from school and work in two weeks. FINALLY! I slept in until noon, called my boyfriend just to chat, made some tacos for lunch, and climbed back in bed to play on the computer.
A wise, sensible me would not use this day in such a manner. There is a dog to clean, a room to straighten, dishes to be washed, laundry to be done, and homework to get knocked out. I'm just not that wise and sensible.
It's my day off, dammit! I want to read for fun, write for fun, plan out my NaNoWriMo novel for fun, sleep for fun, watch television for fun, play World of Warcraft for fun, etc.
So often we get caught up in what we have to do. "I need to go to school, I need to go to work, I need to make some money..." Sure we do need to do these things, but must they always overshadow our desires? Do we always need to be 100% responsible? I say, "No!"
You may think it lazy, but I'm exhausted and don't care at this point. Taking a break now will make me better able to get stuff done later.
I'm not even sure what I'm writing, or why I'm writing this. That's OK, though. I'm just having fun. FINALLY!

Buying Lingerie

2009-09-15T19:31:00.000-06:00

Last Wednesday, while toiling away at work, my mind drifted off on one tangent after the other. Eventually, my sometimes overly-critical inner self focused in on my own personal shortcomings. It was then that I realized that I, a woman just shy of 21 years, have never purchased anything, not even perfume, from that terrifyingly pink shop known as Victoria's Secret, despite having worked in the same building for over a year.
This shocking revelation caused me to pay even less attention to my job, and more to myself. Why haven't I shopped there before? Have I even been in to Victoria's Secret? I had, but only briefly, in an attempt to make my grumpy boyfriend and shopping companion even more grumpy and uncomfortable.
After several painful moments of consideration, I realized the answer to my question: I am a wimp. A nervous, self conscious, and easily embarrassed coward who can't even begin to bear the thought of what others who have no idea who I am might think of me.
I chewed on this sour bit of cud for the next few hours as I finished my shift. Then, snatching my purple bag covered in bright, glittery beads, I headed towards Victoria's Secret. My mission: to overcome my irrational fear and buy the most devastatingly sexy piece of lingerie I could afford.
The hike to Victoria's Secret seemed impossibly long, and I found myself staunchly resisting the urge to turn around, run to my truck, and never think of this moment again. Every minute muscle twitching in confused frustration, I slowly made progress towards the store, periodically pausing to browse in less intimidating places of business.
Eventually I could no longer avoid my destination and, taking a cursory glance at the faces swarming around me to make sure no one I knew saw me enter that naughty, naughty store, I hastily stepped inside.
Upon entering Victoria's Secret, I found myself pleasantly surprised. This was not the trashy store that supplied the wardrobes of countless bordellos that the church I grew up in always described it as. No! In fact, at first glance, I saw more sweat pants, tank tops, and perfume than anything else. Even as I progressed to the deeper recesses of the store, I didn't find anything remotely startling. Even the tiny cherry blossom pink and black French maid outfit seemed tastefully done believe it or not. As my comfort level grew, I gradually began to take a closer look at the pieces I liked, eventually becoming bold enough to check the prices and, shockingly enough, cup size.
After spending a lengthy hour in this increasingly comfortable setting and declining the assistance of several very kind employees, I settled on a babydoll top of sheer black lace and pale pink trim and a matching G string for $38.
Overall, it was a pleasant experience. After overcoming my initial fear, I found myself having a good time and surely appreciated the confidence boost I received by purchasing something sexy for myself. To many, this may have seemed a trivial experience. To me, it was one of momentous occasion. Slowly, surely, I creep ever forward into my own self, remembering and respecting how I was raised, but no longer feeling fettered and restrained.