Mittens Explains It All

Cat Food.

2012-05-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

So there I was -- starving, as usual. I told my human I needed food by consistently saying: "FOOD! FOOD!" right next to him, but he wouldn't budge for the longest time. Finally, have sinking my claws into his leg, I think he got the message.

I mean, he would have just let me starve to death if I hadn't told him my bowl was empty.

But, I have to admit, he is a pretty good pet. Sometimes he'll give me this food in a cat. Its' fucking delicious. It's like crack, if crack was in food form.

Dog.

2012-05-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Dog,

You're smelly.

Love,
Mittens the Kitten

Goldfish

2012-05-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

So there I was, hunting like I usually do, when my human came in and starting making a punch of noise. What an ass! Goldfish are hard to catch and even harder when some lumbering buffoon starts making noises and telling me to get off the shelf.

Jokes on him though, because when he gets back from the bathroom, he's going to find a particular goldfish is MIA.

He'll be so proud.

Food!

2012-05-18T17:01:00.000-07:00

Forget napping, I love food! Eating is awesome. These dry pebble things taste so fucking good. Meee-ow. I love food so much, I plagiarized a poem just for food:

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where food belongs.

- Sheelagh Lennon -

Keep being you, food.

Napping

2012-05-17T16:58:00.000-07:00

God I love napping. If there is one thing I love, its napping. Even when I'm not napping I think about napping. If there is anything better than napping, it's sleeping.

My owner is quite annoying though. Also walking around in the middle of the day making noise. Thank God he leaves after a couple hours and gives me time for my beauty sleep.

This figure takes work you know.

Well, I'll blog to all you cool cats later, naps aren't going to take themselves.

A Blog!

2012-05-16T16:51:00.001-07:00

Hey everykitten! Mittens here with a new blog. I guess I'll just meow about life and stuff. First order of business: blogs.

What's the deal with blogs? It seems like every human has one, but only a few select kittens dip their paws in blogging. Maybe we need more kitten friendly keyboards. Or something.

Case and point.

I'll start meowing up some blueprints for one. Hopefully I'll find some investors. I'll call it the Kitten Keypad. It'll cost 20 human dollars. I'll be rich.