MitzyCares

Well thats not disturbing at all.

2011-07-21T21:12:00.003-05:00

Guess what Mitzy, I have been stalking you so closely that I know today is your birthday. I have been secret about it too, you have absolutely no idea who I am or where I live.
Ben Stevenson in west virginia

dear ben,
i'm so honored. i think. should i be?
-mitzy

From What is Wrong With You

2011-07-19T23:21:00.001-05:00

Image by Family Oon via Flickr

Hi guys! A yound reader submitted me this story. Read and enjoy!

Once there was a stupid little dedicated spider. He decided to build a web.

A donkey came along.

"Come, spider," he said. "Let's go frolicking."

"No," said the stupid little spider. "I'm working on my web."

A hippopotamus came along.

"Come, spider," he said. "Let's go take some meth."

"No," said the stupid little spider. "I'm working on my web."

A fish came along.

"Come, spider," said the fish. "Let's go skydiving."

"No," said the stupid little spider. "I'm working on my web."

The fish, donkey, and hippopotamus felt like the stupid little spider was taking advantage of them.

So they devised a plan.

Finally, the stupid little spider finished his web. It was crummy and tiny and insects didn't get caught in it.

The stupid little spider said, "Oh well, I suppose I was wrong to take advantage of my friends. I'll go apologize."

The fish, hippopotamus, and donkey were waiting for him with flamethowers.

Then the stupid little spider got torched.

Then they torched his stupid little crummy dumb stupid spider house and all of his stupid little crummy dumb stupid personal belongings, and the police station just for good measure.

Let that be a lesson to you kids: don't trust fish.

The End

Look out next week for Chapter Two: The Stupid Little Spider's Revenge From Beyond the Grave!

Mitzy is Vacationing.

2011-07-07T22:12:00.000-05:00

Mitzy will spend the next week on something frozen in Mongolia. There will be wifi, so still send questions!

- The Mitzy Manager

Congrats!

2011-07-05T13:59:00.003-05:00

I have decided to use your blog as free advertising for my blog. The URL is http://name-not-shown.blogspot.com/

How are you still alive?

2011-07-05T13:59:00.000-05:00

Image by kevindooley via Flickr

Dear mitzy,
I think the Easter bunny is out to kill me. He put toxic chemicals in my basket. And he also put egg shaped nukes in my yard (which are about to simutaniously blow) how can I make sure Santa doesn't do this? (remember I still want to make the "nice" list)

- Blow-up in Belmead

Dear Blow-up,
Blow *him* up first
-mitzy

no comment.

2011-07-05T13:57:00.002-05:00

I'm spazzzzzzzziiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggggg!!!!!!!

Hhhhhhheeeeeellllllpppppp me.

I also have the same question about bubbles.

-waiting in willowville

Dear waiting,
whats with the bubbles?
-mitzy

I'm changing that.

2011-07-05T13:56:00.002-05:00

on the bottom of your blog it says "2010" its 2011 why haven't you changed it

love,

Luke sheldon mayor of Luketown lake

Dear Luke shel.. whatever,

because i like 2010 better! Yeah, that's why. Maybe.

-Mitzy

Hibernation Awakened! (it rhymes, ok!)

2011-07-05T13:53:00.002-05:00

zzzz......
(smack).............
knife............
facelift.........
stab............
wound.........
burn alive......

kill...........

ritual dance.......

ice cream.....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

yawn...........

Mitzy has awakened from her spring hibernation! I'm now back on, and if there has been anything I missed, it will be answered now. Now here is a picture that came up on my "Zemanta Assistant" Media Gallery.

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Glasses

2011-04-08T18:01:00.001-05:00

I narrowly avoided getting glasses today. Also, Ihave a question about bubbles.
Jugblin in Northern Norway

Hello Jublin,

Good for you about the glasses. By the way, do you mean the kind on your head or the ones you drink from? What about the bubbles???

-Mitzy

Are You Drunk?

2011-04-08T17:58:00.001-05:00

Me is tito. Yu bee Mitzsyyy. Wy be GEorgege Busdh idjgit?)

Dear Anonymous,

Yes, I'm am Mitzy and you are... Tito? I think you asked why George Bush is an idjgit. I didn't know what idjit meant so I looked it up. It means A person with an intellectual barrier blocking them from obtaining average intelligence. So, I guess, to a certain extent.

-Mitzy

I'm Not Good With Big Words :(

2011-03-30T16:56:00.000-05:00

Do you share my opinion that hoarding money gives one long-term unsatisfaction and depression?

Des mois guy in Des Mois, Iowa

Dear Des Mois Guy,

ehhhh... sure.

-Mitzy

The Pen is Dead

2011-03-24T16:16:00.000-05:00

What happens if you put a pen into a really high powered pencil sharpener that's electric

Dave guy in Goron

Dear Dave guy,

I haven't tried it, but (i think) it will blow up! Yay! Blowing up stuff is fun!

-Mitzy

Yay!!!

2011-03-24T16:14:00.000-05:00

Mitzy has reached 100 posts! Comment on why the number 100 is awesome!!!
-Mitzy

Yay!!! There Isn't Timeo On My Hands!

2011-03-23T22:14:00.000-05:00

I sent you a question and you answered it a few hours later. You must have a lot of free timeo n your hands.

Hal 8999 in Oregon, de Portland.

Dear Hal 8999,

Yes, I do answer questions quickly. But I don't know what timeo is, whatever it is, it's not on my hands.

-Mitzy

You Want Feedbacks?

2011-03-23T18:27:00.000-05:00

Hi there blogger!

Just visited your "MitzyCares" blog and I was super impressed by its design and content. We started our site Lookville.com not too long ago. It's a place for people to have discussions, share tips, and ask questions about fashion. It's been going great so far and I would love to have you on it! check it out if you're interested:

And we would love to hear your feedbacks.

Ciao!
- Miranda B.

Dear Miranda B.,

I'm glad you're "super impressed" with my blog, but I really don't care about lookville.com. By the way, you will not be hearing my "feedbacks" anytime soon.

-Mitzy

PS- you're email was in my junk inbox

Zephyrs???

2011-03-23T16:43:00.001-05:00

How many roads must a man walk down before we can call him a man?

Dear Anonymous,
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.
-Mitzy

More Than I Can Count...

2011-03-22T20:13:00.002-05:00

How many different people have written to you, thousnds, hundreds, 5?

Name not shown

Dear Name not shown,

ehhh... a lot?
-Mitzy

So Many Questions...

2011-03-22T20:12:00.000-05:00

Oh no! I have influenza type B and strep throat. Also, I have a question about bubbles.

Anitionalkidrahems in London, the country that london is in

Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry about your influenza type B and strep throat. There is no question about bubbles here. I don't know whatever a anitio... oh whatever, is. What about London?

So, from that I got that you were sick, you are curious about bubbles. Also, I looked up Anitionalkidrahems and there are no Google matches, not one. And you are in England.

-Mitzy

Good for you.

2011-03-22T20:07:00.002-05:00

I don't think pens are high quality enough.

Dear Anonymous,
Ok... and you question is?

I Didn't See The Movie

2011-03-19T22:25:00.000-05:00

I saw the Sorcerers Apprentice a few weeks ago, and I didn't get it. Who was that Buckey kid? Why did he make things explode? Why was Buckey's blond friend fond of a song auto-tuned to an inhuman capacity. What did you you think?

Guy in Des Moine, Iowa

Dear Guy,

I have no clue what you are talking about.

-Mitzy

I Had To Look This One Up...

2011-03-19T22:23:00.000-05:00

How many milliseconds are in an hour?'

Dear Anonymous,
There are 3.6 million milliseconds in an hour. (according to google calculators)
-Mitzy

The Art of Giving a Dog a Hot Dog covered in Anti-Freeze

2011-03-14T21:08:00.000-05:00

Sorry if your questions from this week aren't answered Mitzy and her associates are going to a convention called "The Art of Giving a Dog a Hot Dog covered in Anti-Freeze" in DC. We will be back on Saturday.
-Mitzy

Hehe...

2011-03-14T21:01:00.000-05:00

Is it true you are possessed by the dark and powerful egyptian goddess Mitzaous?

Dear Anonymous,
Only on the weekends.
-Mitzy (aka Mitzaous)

Soggy Marajuana...

2011-03-14T19:14:00.000-05:00

Hello I would like you to help me get drugnked out, a mixture of drunk and drugged out. Do you know were I could purchase an item to help me get Drugnked Out?

Dear Anonymous,
Hmm... that's a new one. I don't no, maybe you could get some dope dip it in alcohol and smoke it. (could be flammable) Seems like a good idea to me!
-Mitzy

I Hate This Squirrel.

2011-03-11T18:56:00.001-06:00

The evil squirrel in NYC is back, and he likes tie-dye. Again, if anyone sees a squirrel with a bazooka in a tie-dye t-shirt contact the authorities immediately.

If it helps here is his mugshot. (sans bazooka and tie-dye apparel)

-Mitzy