This is my “nostos” song (see: poems by Homer) . Touring is hard, no matter how much I love it. Because the bulk of what I currently do is college shows, touring is heavy in two parts of the year; Fall and Spring. So, after a busy September, October and November of being far from home (equal parts literal and figurative) December was the month to which I was looking forward. I’ve got to assume that’s pretty similar for most people who give their attention to their work all year and then get to break for Christmas or any vacation, whether it’s a week or just a couple of days. Christmas has always represented the best pieces of home for me and even though things aren’t exactly the same as those growing up years, I still try to hold on to them. With all this, I still never intended to write a holiday song.

Looking back on these songs, a lot of them are centered in relationships. I have always said relationships are the most important thing to me and it seems this project is yet another piece of supporting evidence. I wonder, though, if the evidence shows what it is about relationships that I find most important. Is it other people that I find important or is it how those other people make ME feel? Should have probably considered how personally revealing all of this content was going to be before releasing it.

Can’t wait to finish this song, whether it’s for you or just for me.

Come December

Tell me you love me
Say it again
I’m wearing smile as if you can see it
On the other end
-
-

Come December I’ll be more than a sound
More than a memory, never around
Under water, out to sea
Come December I can breath
For now I’m out here on the run
Come December I’ll be done
So Come December come

So break out the holly
Bring out the tree
If there’s a present left for me to dress
Leave the ribbon out for me
-
-

Again, not that I need to point it out, but a lot of this is mumbled. I know where I’m going with the concept and I could quickly fill in missing holes with words that fit, but I want to make sure that they are the “right” words. A ton of FX to sonically fill space, (for the studio geeks; stereo verb, delay, chorus on the the guitar, verb on the delay channel) my only acoustic that I have ever owned ( and vocals but hopefully enough of a skeleton of the song for you to comment and appreciate for now.

Not sure where the story comes from but I can identify with the characters. Losing the girl to the other guy, being busted up about it and just making excuses like it wasn’t my fault. More than anything though, I just liked how it sang. I wasn’t thinking of writing a song about California. I just sang it like that and it stuck. But, after taking some time with it and fleshing out the rest of the story, I realized that for a kid like me from the Midwest, California is a good metaphor for a place that seems too far away to ever think that people who go there ever return. Probably more literal that metaphorical.

I spent time in Santa Monica with a friend Kevin Daniel (look up his music. He’s a guy from Granville, OH who just moved out there and is doing pretty well) in the one area of California that I have mythologized in a big way. (see: the Dogtown and Z-boys documentary) I was in the heart of it and even long-boarded by the old Zephyr shop (that doesn’t exist anymore, not even as Horizons, too sad). Wilshire runs East and West into the Pacific and the “1″ or the Pacific Coast Highway runs along the beach front and then turns into Lincoln Blvd. South of I-10. I referred to “Wilshire and the 1″ as if it was an intersection. The truth is, Wilshire intersects the part of Lincoln that isn’t the “1″, which is almost the corner of Kevin’s apartment. But, those are lyrics you should expect from a guy that doesn’t live there.

California

Phone recording

It’s a crowded room but
It’s the only place I made my bed
I can work it out
It’s not like I’m about to lose my head
Now I’m lying here

If I could have had just a little more time with her
I’d have begged her to stay
But he took her away to

California, away
California, away
Now I’m hoping she says
In California away from me

Midwest avenue
It’s just the best that I can do for now
There’s no Wilshire and the “1″
No sand and there’s no sun
It’s not enough somehow
I’m talking to myself

Oh and I know I could just pick up the phone
Or sail across the way
And say the words to find
But I can’t stop wasting time
On words to save my pride

The talented Kara Mahone on tambourine. I played this song for a few people before recording it and it was just me and my acoustic guitar. The consensus was that I write too many sappy, slow songs. Whether or not that is true, I did a little production work during the recording process to show folks that the song can be whatever it supposed to be and it’s often hard to communicate the full idea of a song groove with just a guitar and vocal. I’m hoping people keep that in mind when we are eventually choosing what songs we will rework and record for the finished album. I recorded the drums in Alabama with one room mic in the basement of my cousin Braxton’s house on his kit. I wish I would have been able to do all of the background vocals I was hearing but again, these are just ideas for you to critique.

Ok so, I mentioned in the last post that this song would come along side the last one. But, I decided to post this one first. Look out for a song called California (away) to fulfill my statement about the two songs that are cut from the same vine.

Some of these lyrics are place holders, but I still think it gets across what I was hoping to say. The song started off with a pretty simple inspiration. I was in the other room at our big family dinner when I overheard my cousin’s 5 year old girl playing in the other room. She said, “We need something to make it beautiful”. Who knows what she was talking about, but I thought it made for a strong statement that uttered a sentiment that I related to. Life is good, but we also live in a broken world and I think it is built within us all to desire a better situation than we have.

I wanted to say this in a way that is hopeful and not too heavy which is why the tune itself is so “happy”. The two are having conversations about some serious stuff but he is helping her not remain in despair. Even if he doesn’t understand completely what she is going through, he can at least understand that she has it rough for the moment or for awhile but that it doesn’t have to define her. I don’t even think he means to give her any kind of advice, I just think he wants to let her know that he is there for her and to remind her that she is stronger than she thinks.

Make It Beautiful

Did you mention those that broke your heart
You said you’d run but here you are
Bitter but not falling far
Did you mention those that broke your heart

Let It out

Another one it seems
Trying to fly with a broken wing
We need something to make it beautiful

Did you tell me of your secret pain
It’s enough to make you chase the rain
I never pictured you a fragile frame
Did you tell me of your secret pain

Let it out

Another one it seems
Trying to fly with a broken wing
We need something to make it beautiful
Enough of holding tight
I’m reminded that oh sometimes
We need something to make it beautiful

Did you mention how his hands did harm
It seems a part of who you are
Not to simplify to far
But did I mention that it’s not your fault
Did I mention that it’s not your fault
I promise that it’s not your fault
It’s not your fault

Let it out

It was great to get this song out and I couldn’t have done it without my Uncle Bryan. I spent a few days in Fresno before heading to L.A. for the weekend and he really helped re-inspire me to finish this project strong.

I posted this like a week ago and realized I didn’t label it in the right category. So, it showed up on the iTunes podcast but not here on the website. There are some thoughts and lyrics missing instead of me doing my usual fill in mumbling (ala Michael Jackson or Stevie Wonder studio demos if you have ever heard some of those).

I stood up one evening in my normal state of sleep deprivation and started playing the opening guitar riff and lyric as if I was covering someone else’s song. Admittedly, the feel of the tune has a current flavor as well as maybe harkening back to that “U2″ power rock thing so that could have been the familiarity for me. But, the lyric just poured out and started filling up this story that I didn’t know I wanted to tell. I think the story of someone leaving home to start a new exciting life has been told many times. The thing is, it’s never been MY story. I live in the same 12 block radius where I grew up and have watched many of those adventurers head out for a new life. I thought it would be interesting to speak for those who are left back at home.

The thing that really hurts is not that they are just physically gone, but that they don’t even seem like they are missing you. In fact, I wonder if they were ever really here to begin with. The song Like a Rolling Stone by Dylan has a line that says “No direction home”. It’s also the name of a documentary put together by Martin Scorcese where Dylan talks about being born in a place that seemed far from where he was supposed to be. So, his life has been a journey to find his true home. I wonder how his brother David felt about that?

More Ways Than One

She paints her skin
In typical black and green
If she comes in
Maybe she’ll come find me
But she wears her heart
On her imaginary sleeve

She’s out somewhere beyond the sun
She’s got a hundred new lives begun
And I know
She’s not here
In more ways than one

I’ll take your hand
I’ll never hold you down
The offer still stands
But you never planned to stick around
It’s not enough
What I could give you on the ground

I had another version of this song that was much more mellow and had a few other sections but after talking with Neal (see earlier posts) he encouraged me rework the arrangement. We trimmed the fat and put some other lyrics to it. Obviously, these are all works in progress, but I’m glad we spent some time with it before posting it the first time. I look back and realize that it’s painfully obvious that most of my writing takes place between 10pm and 4am when the rest of the world is asleep and my house/hotel room/place to stay is nice and quite. I want to take the rest of the year and put myself in some other places.

Neal explained that the culture on the island is a bit mixed up. The island has a population of about 2,500 made up of a few different enclaves. There are Jamaicans, Haitians and a some random others. The majority of the island, though, is populated by the native inhabitants who seem to have no cultural identity outside of the island itself. In fact, the race of people that are there are officially called Belongers.

The Belongers seem to have a fairly strong distain for anyone whom they call Outsiders and it causes moderate racial tension on this 7 mile by 2 mile stretch of land out in the middle of the ocean. Although, as I consider my social existence here on this much larger chunk of land, I can see some of the same similarities. Not in the form of racial tension here in the Midwest, but definitely in people’s sense of community and desire to belong. As I consider my close friends and acquaintances, a pattern appears where (generally speaking, of course) these people seem to have a lot in common. I wonder if I surround myself with people who look, think, act, speak and make decisions like I do. There is something about this that makes me want to apologize, even though I see it across the board as people find their place to belong. My heart says I would much rather find myself among around a variety of people who I can share life with. People who can challenge me, help me grow, expand my palate and hopefully, allow me the reciprocity. But, that’s not what my environment shows.

This song is a bit apologetic, although I hope the message gets across that I’m not trying to exclude anyone. I know that the people who don’t call me friend aren’t trying to exclude me either. We all just want to find a place where we belong. That doesn’t mean I won’t try to break out of this complacency.

Belong

Oh, it’s tough, yeah, it’s tough
Get in misfit in here, I hope
Laugh it up, laugh it up
Even if I don’t know the joke

We all want to belong
We all want to belong
I know there’s nothing wrong
(I’m alright, you’re alright)
We all want to belong

He’s exactly like me
She’s exactly like me
(Oh, I’m surrounded)
But, there’s something ’bout variety
That makes me feel human
Chalk it up to default
Complacency brought
But I’m not exclusive
I just know this about me

In these absent weeks I have been to the Gulf of Mexico, England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, and Indiana for tours. I have been to Michigan to buy a new bus, to Alabama for an incredible house concert, and L.A. for a co-write with Universal Publishing’s Jeff Blue (look him up), not to mention promoting a few great local shows with my band. This has been an incredible refueling period and I feel like the well is full again.

As for the state of the union. . .songwriting is a funny thing. I come up with nothing for so long and can’t even finish some songs that I’ve started, and then in Ireland, I write 7 brand new songs. Two nights after we got home, creative insomnia kept me up all night one night and I wrote 6 more. I can’t keep up with the outpouring at the moment. I feel like there is so much so say and the melodies won’t stop. What’s more, I really like the stuff that’s coming out. I will, of course, let you be the judge. I will be posting as fast as I can in the next week getting caught up so we can be back on schedule with postings. I would like the week number of the year to match the number in the catalog again.

Please, stay connected. Keep those comments coming. I can’t tell you how overwhelmed I was with the positive encouragement I received during this period of creative drought. I thought for sure that I would be chastised into submission from you all to whom I am accountable. But there were some of you who sent some words my way that made my eyes well up. I really feel like we are doing this together and I won’t let you down. 52 songs in 52 weeks!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Check the next posting for a new song!

Jared

It speaks of a love relationship that pledges forever and the idea that once two become one, nothing can separate that when there is real love involved. I’m not talking about the loving, heart-fluttering, dreamy feelings that two people might have for each other. I’m talking about an active, verb-style love where a person sets out everyday to joyfully practice the art of loving another human being as they promised to. The two belong to one another, not in a possessive way where one person reigns over the other in a master slave fashion, but in a giving and submissive way as one humbly serving another. Real love doesn’t set out to enslave, but to set you free enough to cause you to WANT to belong to the other. My blog, my soap box. Let me know what you think.

For All Time

Deep within a single whisper
Hidden from the sky
There’s a love I could never give her
But heaven knows I’ll try

You say you want a part of me
But, Love, you already know you have it all

You’re in my eyes
You’re in my smile
You’ve had my heart
For quite a while
So take my hand
Forever we’ll find
This I promise you for all time

This moment or the moment after
I start to lose myself again
It’s the moment that I hear your laughter
I remember who I am

You belong to me
Can’t you only see who I belong to
And I will take a part of me

Most of the song is my generic thoughts of a couple in love. But, the second verse is about Kara. It’s hard to keep her out of a love song. Aaron Bishara on drums, Jeff Arszman on bass, me on guitar and vocals.

I asked her to send me as much information that she could send me about their relationship and she emailed me a copy of their first ever, long distance correspondence over Facebook. I took those words and what I knew of Nikky and formed what I thought would be a good message for their wedding day. I tried to use all of the happy chords that knew. Because the lyrics came from a conversation between the two of them, it naturally turned into a duet. I’ve never written a duet before.

Admittedly, it did turn out a little “Disney-esque” if I could make that a word. But, I think it should sound like that for such an occasion. It doesn’t really fit anything else that I have ever done but that’s what makes the song belong to Nikky. In fact, in the second verse when “the groom” sings, he says, “From your Seoul to my soul”, one might think that is a typo. But the fact is, Nikky was born in Seoul, the capital of South Korea and adopted at 18 months by an American family. She is, in a cultural sense, white-middle class. But, her features would say otherwise. It’s this juxtaposition that is at the heart of the song’s idea.

Eastern culture is steeped in traditions wrapped around the idea of luck and good fortune. Nikky was brought up in a Western world within a home that understands life in the context of divine design. Both characters in the song would call themselves lucky to have found such a person with whom to spend the rest of their life, but they both know that it must be more than good luck that brought them together. They believe they were brought together very purposefully and for a purpose.

If you are considering this song as one that might fit an album done by me or my band, I would say this song doesn’t really fit. But, if you are considering this song in the context of the creative experiment that this project is, then I think this song fits very well. It is as different as anything and has helped me to stretch. I humbly offer it to you for your thoughts on it.

More Than Fortune

The story goes, an open door
I’m sure I’ve seen your face before

I can see the happy ending once upon a time
I would count myself a lucky woman by your side
This day more than fortune favors you and I

Just in time
As if only by design
I found you around the other side
More than fate
More like hope had found a way
I found you around the other side

From your Seoul to my soul
Giving up all control
Everyday I’ll change my picture just to be with you

I would count myself a lucky man to call you mine
This day more than fortune favors you and I

Life before you seems to have some closure
But from now on we’ll leave the questions open ended

The week after the wedding I got to go L.A. and do a co-write with Jeff Blue of Universal Publishing and then on to Fresno to co-write with my Uncle Bryan and cousin Emily. My cousin Martin made the trip with me. The song was performed at the wedding sang in duet by Kara and myself played on the instrument it was written on. . .my guitar. I said when I wrote it, “this would sound much better on a piano.” So, it was perfect when we were in Fresno and I was attempting to record the song. With Bryan’s help, in about 10mins or so, he learned the song on his instrument, helped work out the key change to make it punch and we wrote a fitting chorus to it where it just had a pre-chorus for the hook. It was also perfect that my cousin Emily has such a beautiful voice to record the other half of the song so I could get it posted in time even though I was away from Kara to have her do it. We didn’t capture our best voices and we sing the whole song pretty flat, but it gets the idea across and at the years end, I hope to get a better recording.

When he suggested a co-write, I loved the idea. It turns out that he had a pretty clear way of getting his ideas across. So all I had to do was help him form those ideas into lyrics, chords and melodies. The story behind the lyrics is pretty personal to him so I won’t get too specific. But, as he was explaining things, I could definitely relate. I’m not sure how I would be able to successfully contribute to a co-write if I couldn’t relate to the concept.

He decided that I needed a break up song for The Mixtape Project (although I feel like I have a few) and he had a few recent experiences on the subject. He talked about a relationship where a break-up was inevitable but the reason for doing so were completely intangible. The girl was amazing, beautiful, caring, selfless, kind, supportive, and all about Matt. So, in the bigger picture, it seemed like the romantic relationship was great and could have been life-long. But, he said that there was just something not quite right.

Matt subscribes to the idea that there is one special person out there for everyone and he hopes to find that person. He feels like he will know her when he finds her and for him, this just wasn’t “the girl”. This girl was incredible, even in the brief moments I knew her, but I guess she just wasn’t the “right” one for Matt. I think when one realizes that, it makes things really hard. Hard enough that Matt had to call it quits with her.

Even though the break up was hard, they both knew that everything would be ok. They were both pretty hurt about it, but they will live to love another day. Sounds cheesy when you say it like that, but it was the clearest way to communicate the sentiment. When Matt said it, it just felt like a good lyric. Let me know what you think.

Love Another Day

The dream is shaken up
But I won’t lose sleep tonight
There’s nothing wrong with it
It just isn’t right

Screaming without making a sound
My head won’t pull my heart of the ground
‘Cause it was good but not good enough to stay
So we’ll live to love another day

You see me breaking up
You see me crying too
There’s someone that I’m looking for
It just isn’t you

We put our wishes on a falling star
But it turns out it was burned out
And now we are

I think the song itself sounds just like the lyric. . .sad but hopeful. It’s the kind of thing that you hope happens for every song. It’s simple, but I think the lyrics are firm and communicate the sentiment precisely as Matt explained it.