The thought of being happy is a very in-depth one. It’s really not as easy as it seems, despite my other post that subtly hints that happiness is a mindset. But really, what does a person have to do to be happy? Sure, one could go about life without a care in the world, relaxing and having a good time. But here’s the caveat of that operation: Little would get done; one would not excel. Think of this post as a counter-argument to my other post. In a sense, it is. While people might be “too busy to live,” there’s got to be a reason for it. These people simply wouldn’t go about making their lives miserable just because they feel it’s necessary. Instead, these people seek something bigger. They seek to excel, to be successful.

Oft do I see happiness bound to success. While success may play a role in eventually being happy, it shouldn’t be the main priority. One could ask what “success” even means. People might define it differently. Success to one is tepid accomplishment (if that) to another. The point is, we all have goals and we all want to accomplish them. Perhaps this is what success is. Let’s roll with that definition. Let’s define success as the point in life at which you have achieved a certain set of goals. So now that we have a destination, let’s journey to it. But how?

One could walk to the destination, taking things slowly, one at a time. Another could sprint to the destination, taking up every opportunity possible to get to where he/she wants to be. Even another would find a medium pace at which to advance. Essentially what we’re looking at here is a means by which to excel in order to achieve our goals. But here’s the catch: it takes work. This is why simply “being happy” can’t happen. Sure, one could sit back, relax, and keep an eye to the sky every waking moment, but doing so isn’t going to help him/her advance. Relaxing all the time just doesn’t work.

To achieve a goal, one has to work toward it. We’ve established this already. But what does working toward something entail? Well, this is where the title of this post comes into play. To excel and succeed, one must do things he/she doesn’t necessarily like or enjoy. Some may argue this statement. But if you think about it, we’ve all had to go through something to reap a benefit. For example, school — it’s the perfect example. Nobody likes it; that’s a given. But attending school eventually leads one to earn a degree and subsequently, a career (I would argue this in some cases [like my own] in which a career can be made without formal schooling, but I’m speaking for the majority here). So it’s something we had to do in order to further excel into a career. We didn’t necessarily like it, but we did it anyway. This, my friends, is the art of dealing with it.

It took me a while to learn that some things just have to be done in order to get where I want to be. Hell, I’d say that I’m still not 100% sure I’ve learned why one has to deal with things. I still ask myself on a daily basis why I’m going through with school. But in the end, relaxation has to take a back seat, we have to leave our comfort zone, and do things we deem undesirable to progress. I think there’s a line that has to be drawn, though. While some things have to be done in order to advance, they shouldn’t take over your life. I mentioned that in my other post. People allow the undesirables tasks to ruin their lives. They don’t handle “dealing with it.” They let it beat them.

They key is to not concede. Work through it and keep your eyes on the prize. In a phrase, deal with it. Deal with the senseless song-and-dance life throws at you occasionally. Just don’t let it run your life. Don’t become a martyr. While things have to get done to achieve a goal, you ultimately have the power to decide whether or not you are miserable throughout the process.

So what am I saying? Should one relax? Should one be a workhorse? Well, it depends. It depends on how quickly you want to “succeed.” The quicker you want to succeed, the less time you’ll have to relax. The more time you relax, the longer it’s going to take to meet that goal. So in the end, a steady dose of both is a good idea.

I understand that this doesn’t apply to every single goal out there. I’m actually very vague in this post. I wrote all of this in response to all of the things I’ve dealt with up to this point. Dealing with things is something I’ve struggled with for a very long time and it’s a great feeling to understand that some things just have to get done to achieve a goal — even if they’re tedious and annoying at the time. In the end, it’s not about making yourself miserable. It’s about eventually making yourself as happy as possible. And if you have to go through some rough patches, so be it. Afterall, this is your happiness we’re talking about. Isn’t it worth it?

(Debate me on this. Post a comment below with your thoughts. I’d love to hear them. I’m actually split on the issue. I’ve written two articles about this happiness debate, each on totally opposite sides of the spectrum. So please, feel free to enlighten me.)

written at 1am, spur-of-the-moment

Anyone who’s gone through any type of formal schooling will understand me on this one. The subject lies within the realm of school reading assignments. Since elementary school, reading assignments have been given to both you and me alike. Now, these assignments were never too big of a deal. They weren’t too difficult, either. They’d be something along the lines of “read chapter 10″ in some social studies textbook. Cool. That’s not too bad. I’ll give that a shot. I’ll go out with that.

Time progressed and we grew older. Suddenly, “English” class turns into “Literature” class and these odd bricks of paper called “novels” are introduced. Sweet Christ.

High school was really the turning point here. I can’t remember if I had to do any summer reading in elementary school (maybe those of whom went to school with me can help me out with that one), but I sure as hell did in high school. It was reading 3-4 novels throughout the summer, and then writing about them. Not my idea of a relaxing summer. But that’s not the point. That was high school; that is long gone. Or is it?

Up until recently, I haven’t gotten a huge amount of reading homework in college. It just wasn’t something that was assigned. If I did get some reading, it was done without any fuss; it wasn’t such a daunting task. I don’t know why this was — maybe it was the classes I had chosen; maybe I just got lucky with teacher’s who didn’t focus on too much reading. Who knows. I just didn’t get too much reading.

The first dose of hardcore reading I had to do was for a seminar-type class (read: forced discussion) on “Multiculturalism.” I had no idea what that class entailed, but it was either that or “History of Knitting in Latin America” (or something along those lines). Turns out the class was called “Multiculturalism and the American Novel.” Yikes. So I understand why I had to read a bit more for that class. Even then, it wasn’t too bad. I ended that school year without much reading to do.

Come this quarter, and I’m getting reamed with the stuff. And it’s no walk in the park. For anyone who’s taken a philosophy or history class, you know what I’m talking about. I’ve got both of those this quarter. Reading philosophy is akin to reading Olde English: you don’t know what the hell is going on without the help of a third party (read: SparkNotes). It’s something you have to sit down and really concentrate on in order to understand. But when 60+ pages are assigned for one night, it’s tough to even garner up the effort of opening the book. Essentially, it leads the student to find ways to bypass reading such a lengthy assignment. Because, in the end, reading something word for word is just a waste. Sure, it’s important if you’re planning on basing your future career around it, but otherwise, it’s just a waste of time. Honestly, it is. Nobody is going to read such an assignment word-for-word. There’s just not enough hours in the day. On top of that, students have other classes to attend to. Sometimes I wonder if teachers acknowledge that fact. We’ve got more classes than just yours, prof. Ease up a bit.

Now, I’m not complaining. This is just something I’ve noticed. I’ve got no problem with these assignments because, as I mentioned earlier, I found ways to circumvent them. But it’s just ridiculous how much some of these professors expect your to read so much in such little time and then summarize and retain it. It’s unrealistic. For example, let me quote my US history syllabus:

“Allow adequate time to prepare readings and assignments OUTSIDE of class. For college-level work, allow three hours of reading and preparation outside of class for every hour of class time. [sic](This is standard for college-level work both at ********* University and nationwide, by the way.)”

Three hours for every one hour? Please. Find me one person who does that. And how is that standard? Who conjured this expectation? Surprisingly, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this. Other professors have spouted this wild expectation as well. And honestly, I didn’t follow through with that and still passed. I can’t speak for everyone, but I doubt anyone in my US history class is reading that much before class, if at all. Just recently, I was forced into a group discussion of the reading due for a given class. The guy with whom I was paired admitted to not reading the assignment at all. Neither had I. We had something in common.

The point is, no student if going to read for three hours about something that can be summarized in a few paragraphs. And with summaries available to us online, you’d be a fool not to take advantage of that. For me, it’s not even a case of laziness (well, not primarily). It’s because I just don’t have time. When there are other things that take priority like a job and actual written assignments, reading takes a back seat. It just doesn’t make itself out to be something you have to do. Clearly, people are passing these classes without reading the material, so what’s the point? I hate to have to ask that question, because it really shows a weakness of formal schooling (not that I’m too big a fan of it anyway). Having such a ridiculous expectation for students has just led them to circumvent the system — to find a way around doing the unnecessary work. But more power to them. If they can find a way to pass with flying colors without reading the material, bravo. I salute these people. Most teachers I’ve come into contact with don’t even create their own tests or quizzes. They rely on mass-produced resources. So why then, are we wasting our time reading hundreds of pages (on subjects that are nowhere near interesting)? The same history professor that promotes three hours of reading a night uses questions from the textbook’s online quizzes. Verbatim. Not only that, but it’s multiple choice. Again, no complaints for me. If someone has the capacity to figure this out, great. You’ve beaten one system. Keep it up.

This is the first real rant I’ve written for MOAR PLOX!!1!. I didn’t mean for it to turn out this way, but I guess it just happened. I write this in response to how little time I have recently (on account of job + school + homework). Reading assignments really aren’t at the top of my list. In fact, it’s for those very reasons that I haven’t posted something in a while. But I’m not going to fall back into that slump of not posting something for months. In the end, I’m no fan of reading assignments. Especially lengthy ones that are unnecessary. I must say, though, that the absence of summer reading is a big relief. I am thankful for that bit. It’s just that I’d like some time to do my own things. I don’t want to have to read 100+ pages about how Thomas Jefferson preferred agriculture over domestic manufacturing. In fact, I’d much rather stick my dick in a blender (I was serious for the whole post up until now. Damn.)

As of writing this post, I have 100+ pages to read in a book that’s meant to be a reference. For tomorrow.

The medicine treating these wounds.

The party is being held in a gradeschool assembly hall. Lucky for me, the school is attached to this assembly hall and there are places to which I can retreat. As you can see, I’m currently sitting in an auditorium, in pitch black darkness. I’ve made my own little space on stage, behind the curtains. I found a very long table that I’m using as a desk, a cushioned chair, and an outlet for my laptop. How sweet it is. I wish I had my camera with me, as I’ve built my own little fort of sorts. As I mentioned, I’m backstage, so there are curtains all around. I essentially made walls out of the curtains and subsequently built my own little office. I’m surrounded on all fours with my back to a brick wall. I’ve always loved having my back to a wall for some reason. Gives my fat ass a better sense of privacy.

Oh, and the best part is that I’ve got internet access. I’m typing from this very space right now. This was the very reason I finally decided to figure out how to tether my phone. It’s working out really well. I just didn’t like the idea of tethering over a wireless medium, so I’m connected via USB. Still getting pretty solid connection speed considering I’m jammed into the heart of a building downtown.

It’s nice. I’m completely hidden. You could say it’s a home away from home.

Oh. Also, this:

Mileage as of today.

Background:

So yesterday I took on the task of trying out some new stuff in OS X. (For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m referring to Mac OS X [pronounced 'Mac OH-ESS TEN'] — the operating system used in desktops and laptops manufactured by Apple. It’s commonly regarded as the prime competitor of Microsoft Windows. But enough explaining; I’ve already left out more caveats than I wish to include. Essentially, I’m talking about this)

I’ve never really gotten into OS X on account of being against Apple products for so long. To this day I still think Apple products are overpriced and overhyped. I can see why people like OS X for its ease of use and potentially powerful UNIX core. But anyway, I just wanted to give it a try so that I could maybe become a little more familiar with it. Then I’d actually be able to navigate a Mac without 1) getting frustrated or 2) looking like a complete ass. I figured it was time to get familiar.

Initially, I’d planned to boot both OS X and Windows 7 on my Thinkpad. Problem with that was that the process of successfully booting OS X on an x86 machine (non-Apple hardware) is pretty involved and required things I didn’t have. For instance, I only had a ripped image of OS X Leopard (because I knew my brother would lose the disc) and I didn’t have dual-layer discs to burn the nearly 7GB image. So right away, I couldn’t boot from a disc anytime soon. As a result, I was forced to go the way of creating a bootable USB flash drive. This was a problem in itself. It’s much easier to edit an image and burn it to a bootable disc than it is to parition a bootable USB. You might disagree, but the circumstances might sway your opinion: I was limited to Windows. I didn’t have a Mac available to format and partition the USB, and I couldn’t easily manage the image because it was a .dmg (I REALLY should have ripped it as an .iso — don’t know what I was thinking). And it’s a bitch to deal with .dmg’s outside of OS X. There are ways, but they’re very tedious. In short, after spending a solid 3 days trying to get it to work, the Hackintosh project fell through and I said screw it for a while. I usually work on these types of things until I get them working, but I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore. It wasn’t that important. I had already spent more time on it than I wanted. So the hackintosh was a no go for the time being. Much to my dismay, my frustration with OS X wasn’t over just yet.

As I said at the beginning of this post, yesterday I decided to dabble in OS X once again. I borrowed my brother’s MacBook Pro and tried my hand at getting used to common tasks. I eventually decided to install a trial of Photoshop CS4 and restarted. Here’s where the trouble begins.

The MacBook started up, and I thought everything would be fine. It was then that I realized that the gray boot screen lacked the normal Apple logo and replaced it with a blinking folder labeled with a question mark. The MacBook wouldn’t start up. All I’d done is install a Photoshop trial.

Looking further into it, I found that this icon meant that either 1) the OS couldn’t find the boot volume or 2) the hard drive failed. The latter didn’t seem too viable, as I hadn’t done anything to cause that, so I assumed the former. But of course, the solution to this problem was to boot from an OS X install disc — something I didn’t have — and run some diagnostics. Being a long-time Windows user, I was seasoned in this type of troubleshooting. However, I had always had an install disc — and even if I didn’t, there were other bootable recovery CDs out there (UBCD, DiskInternal Boot CD). So I didn’t have an install disc for OS X. What now? Look for a free recovery CD image, of course. Well, I tried that and let me tell you that it was not pleasant. My first discovery was Carbon Copy Cloner. The idea behind this solution was to back up everything on the MacBook by cloning the hard drive, then booting externally. I didn’t really know how it would work, but I didn’t have to worry about it — the image provided on CCC’s website was a .dmg (and remember, I have NO macs to use now and .dmg management on Windows is hell). So CCC was out of the question. Then I looked into some other recovery options: TechTool Pro and DiskWarrior. Awesome. But then I realized that these programs were FOR OS X and I had to install them in order to create a bootable recovery disc. I didn’t have a mac onto which install them!!! So toss those off to the side; they won’t work. Finally, I tried making a bootable OS X install USB again in GParted. This just didn’t work out. I didn’t know whether to use an MBR or GUID partition table, didn’t know how to write my Leopard image to the USB within Windows or Linux (constant errors), and figured it wasn’t worth the time if it can be done so easily in OS X (http://www.maciverse.com/install-boot-os-x-leopard-from-a-usb-flash-drive.html). At this point, hope was dwindling. I did something I thought I’d never EVER do in a million years.

I went to BEST BUY — yes, the store I haven’t entered in 5 years — to go buy OS X. I cringe at the thought. If there’s one thing you /wouldn’t/ think I’d do, it’s that. But I just couldn’t think of what else to do. I figured dropping $30 on something that *might* solve my problem wouldn’t be too bad. But of course, being Best Buy, they didn’t have the item they listed as in-stock online. And lucky they didn’t, because I just saved $30 and was about to learn how to fix the problem.

A week prior to this happening, I had installed Ubuntu 9.10 on my Thinkpad. This was a direct result of not being able to install OS X on it. So OS X went out, Linux came in. And as I was looking up ways to fix this problem, I thought, “Wait. Why don’t I boot an Ubuntu LiveCD on the MacBook?” I couldn’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier. By booting via LiveCD, I’d be able to see if all of my brother’s data was still in-tact. It worked. I booted via LiveCD and confirmed that everything was still there. So now I just had to fix the volume holding OS X. I’ve provided an entire log of my terminal session below to show exactly what I did.

Repairing:

## Booting from Karmic 9.10 LiveCD
## In order to read the HFS+ file system (aka Mac OS Extended) used by OS X,

ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo apt-get install hfsprogs
Reading package lists… Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information… Done
E: Couldn’t find package hfsprogs

## Repositories weren’t configured correctly to find the hfsprogs package
## Why?
## Booting from a LiveCD renders the repository source.list very limited
## Uncommenting some lines made some repositories active.

## Backup repository sources list while preserving file attributes (default: mode,ownership,timestamps)

ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo cp -p /etc/apt/sources.list /etc/apt/sources.list.backup

## Install vim because I like it

ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo apt-get install vim
Reading package lists… Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information… Done
The following extra packages will be installed:
vim-runtime
Suggested packages:
ctags vim-doc vim-scripts
The following NEW packages will be installed:
vim vim-runtime…
BLAH BLAH BLAH, more install output

## Edit repositories list and uncomment all lines

ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo vim /etc/apt/sources.list
ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo apt-get install hfsprogs
Reading package lists… Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information… Done
E: Couldn’t find package hfsprogs

## Whoops. Looks like I forgot to update the repositories. Let’s do that now.
## Note: Internet connection was needed. Wireless surprisingly worked no problem.

ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo apt-get update
Ign cdrom://Ubuntu 9.10 _Karmic Koala_ – Release i386 (20091028.5) karmic/main Translation-en_US
Ign cdrom://Ubuntu 9.10 _Karmic Koala_ – Release i386 (20091028.5) karmic/restricted Translation-en_US
Get:1 http://security.ubuntu.com karmic-security Release.gpg [189B]
Ign http://security.ubuntu.com karmic-security/main Translation-en_US
Hit http://archive.ubuntu.com karmic Release.gpg
Get:20 http://archive.ubuntu.com karmic-updates/restricted Sources [14B]
Get:21 http://archive.ubuntu.com karmic-updates/universe Packages [72.1kB]
Get:22 http://archive.ubuntu.com karmic-updates/universe Sources [17.5kB]
Get:23 http://archive.ubuntu.com karmic-updates/multiverse Packages [6,942B]
Get:24 http://archive.ubuntu.com karmic-updates/multiverse Sources [3,831B]
Fetched 8,648kB in 10s (833kB/s)
Reading package lists… Done

## Install hfsprogs

ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo apt-get install hfsprogs
Reading package lists… Done
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH
Setting up hfsprogs (332.14-7) …

## Run fsck on the OS X partition (sda2) to check the HFS+ file system for errors

ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo fsck.hfsplus -f /dev/sda2
** /dev/sda2
** Checking HFS Plus volume.
** Checking Extents Overflow file.
** Checking Catalog file.
** Checking multi-linked files.
** Checking Catalog hierarchy.
** Checking Extended Attributes file.
** Checking volume bitmap.
** Checking volume information.
** The volume Macintosh HD appears to be OK.

## Seems to be okay…let’s try mounting it to see if all the data’s still there

ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo mkdir /mnt/apple
ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ sudo mount /dev/sda2 -t hfsplus -o rw /mnt/apple
ubuntu@ubuntu:~$ cd /mnt/apple
ubuntu@ubuntu:/mnt/apple$ ls
Applications cores etc mach_kernel private Users
_b_ Desktop DB Extra mach_kernel.ctfsys sbin usr
bin Desktop DF home net System var
boot dev Library Network tmp Volumes

ubuntu@ubuntu:/mnt/apple$ cd Volumes
ubuntu@ubuntu:/mnt/apple/Volumes$ ls
Macintosh HD

## ^ looks like everything is still there.
## So let’s unmount it and do another fsck, rebuilding the catalog b-tree with -r

ubuntu@ubuntu:/mnt/apple/Volumes$ cd Macintosh\ HD
ubuntu@ubuntu:/mnt/apple/Volumes/Macintosh HD$ sudo umount /dev/sda2
ubuntu@ubuntu:/mnt/apple/Volumes/Macintosh HD$ cd /
ubuntu@ubuntu:/$ sudo fsck.hfsplus -r /dev/sda2
** /dev/sda2
** Checking HFS Plus volume.
** Checking Extents Overflow file.
** Checking Catalog file.
** Rebuilding Catalog B-tree.
** Rechecking volume.
** Checking HFS Plus volume.
** Checking Extents Overflow file.
** Checking Catalog file.
** Checking multi-linked files.
** Checking Catalog hierarchy.
** Checking Extended Attributes file.
** Checking volume bitmap.
** Checking volume information.
Invalid volume file count
(It should be 630434 instead of 611271)
Invalid volume directory count
(It should be 166625 instead of 159942)
Invalid volume free block count
(It should be 8523758 instead of 12930181)
Volume Header needs minor repair
(2, 0)
** Repairing volume.
** Rechecking volume.
** Checking HFS Plus volume.
** Checking Extents Overflow file.
** Checking Catalog file.
** Checking multi-linked files.
** Checking Catalog hierarchy.
** Checking Extended Attributes file.
** Checking volume bitmap.
** Checking volume information.
** The volume Macintosh HD was repaired successfully.

It looked like it was repaired, so I restarted and still got the question mark folder. Looking back on it, the above didn’t really do much. It was not until I booted rEFIt that it was fixed. I downloaded rEFIt (luckily there was an option to download a .cdr image — that just had to be renamed to .iso), burned it, and booted from the CD. I then ran the rEFIt partitioning tool and simply updated the MBR (not my image). I rebooted and everything worked.

Conclusion:

I can’t tell you if the fsck did anything useful. I’d like to think it played some part in the fix. And even if it didn’t, I learned a ton from just going through with this process. That’s the beauty of messing something up: you’re forced to fix it and learn new things. It’s great. I don’t know WHY it messed up in the first place, but I went through a process of trying new things and becoming more familiar with the Unix shell.

In the end, I found myself using Linux much more. I’ve dabbled in Linux tons of times before, but I always found myself falling back to Windows. However, for the past week, I’ve been using Ubuntu and it’s been great. I’ve learned more about navigating a Linux system in a week than I have in my entire life — all just by using Ubuntu as my primary OS. I’ve also got a CentOS box set up to get a taste of the Red Hat-type environment. Consider me converted.

My buddy “V” somewhat triggered me to write about this phenomenon. He pinpointed one of the problems people have in the way they think today.

(11:22:40 PM) V: you know what I hate about almost everyone
(11:23:06 PM) V: it’s that people are too fucking busy with the next thing in their life that they never pay attention to what’s going on now

He nailed it. This is one of the most damaging mindsets a person can have. Now, don’t get me wrong; taking the future into consideration is an important aspect of life. For example, looking ahead to see the consequences of an action — this is perfectly fine and healthy. It’s when this infatuation with the future becomes an obsession that it ruins lives. One may think that this is simply an exaggeration. But truth be told, it is far from that. People are constantly worried about what lies ahead of them. All too often does the mind ring thoughts to the sound of “Will I succeed? I should get to work!” Little do these people realize that their lives are being wasted right in front of them.

In short, people often get caught up in what is to come rather than live their lives in the present. They don’t enjoy themselves; they’re just too busy with work and things that need to get done by a certain deadline. People take things too seriously. I can honestly vouch for this statement with some recent encounters. I recently began working at a high-rise downtown. I am early to rise, and I’m out of the house by 6:45am. Every morning, Monday to Thursday, I drive to the train station that will get me downtown. And let me tell you, people are relentless in the morning. This is where my observation begins. I think I have yet to go a day without being cut off in traffic (the little of it that there is at that hour) or hearing some impatient driver laying on his/her horn on account of someone only going 5 over the speed limit. It’s nice to be able to drive faster in the morning, but some people just make it out to be like their timeliness is far more important than everyone else’s. I saw a guy today weave traffic like it were a Navajo basket. He tailed people like it was his job and clearly couldn’t stand anyone on the road (on an unrelated note, the most aggressive drivers I’ve seen have sported BMWs). It’s like this every morning. And it doesn’t end there. On to the train station.

Look around the next time you’re on any form of public transportation. Count the scowls. I’m not saying one should be smiling all the time. I’m by no means a happy-go-lucky person, spreading joy wherever I go. Those who know me know that. But sometimes it’s like, “Holy shit, lighten up.” I could plug my “Appreciation” rant right now, but I’ll spare you. What it comes down to is appreciating what position you’re in at the moment. What I’m finding more and more recently is the fact that the homeless are so much more mentally stable in this sense (they might be mentally stable on account of being mentally UNstable, but I’ll take it). I’ve heard tons more homeless people have happier conversations than the suit on the train. Oh no, it doesn’t end here.

Sitting at my desk at work, I can hear the girl on the other side of my cube taking calls for service support. Now, keep in mind that this is a business. They get businessmen/businesswomen calling in with absolutely no regard for the being with whom they’re speaking on the other end of the phone. That said, I’ve heard this girl get screamed at by impatient businessmen. From what I heard, she wasn’t being unreasonable. But the guy on the phone was flat-out screaming at this girl. And that’s exactly the problem with the way people think. They get all hot and bothered from the most trivial shit and escalate from rudeness to utter outrageousness. And really, what’s it all for? I understand that it’s a business call, but come on. When you’re screaming at a stranger over the phone, don’t you think it’s time to step back and take a look at what you’re doing? “V” said it best:

(11:27:13 PM) V: you just wanna grab those people and be like ’settle the fuck down!’

I’ve spent much of this post detailing the work aspect of this whole problem. But it’s not only prevalent there; it’s seen in other facets of daily life as well. This whole concept of being too serious and worrying about the future can be found in relationships — be it a friendly relationship or a romantic one. People worry about how others will view them and partners worry how long they will stay together. It’s really not that uncommon. And all you have to do is take a look around and observe. It’s as simple as that. You’d be surprised at how much you can learn from simply observing these kinds of things. And of course, observe yourself. See if you can point out when you’re being ridiculous and then control yourself. Because in the end, it’s really not that big a deal.

Since I was introduced to Buddhism in high school, I’ve never really let it escape my mind. As Theology was a requirement at my school, we were always forced to learn about the same, old Catholic teachings. It was not until my senior year that they began to introduce us to other religions/philosophies. I say “philosophies” because a lot of what is considered to be “religion” really isn’t; it’s more a way of life than an organized set of rules to follow or a list of restrictions by which to abide. But the class was titled “Comparative Religions.” Of course, this didn’t really interest me at first glance because for the past 13 years I had been learning about Catholicism and I really didn’t think there was much else out there. Not that I was completely oblivious to other philosophies, but I surely didn’t know very much about them. I knew that Buddhists dressed in orange garb, Hindus had dots on their heads, Muslims wore turbans, and Jews wore yarmulkes. I really didn’t know much else.

And it’s a shame that I didn’t know much else. If a kid is only exposed to one religion growing up, and is told that THAT religion is the only right one, why would anything else matter? That was my situation. I had only learned of Catholicism up until that point. I grew to be a very religious person. I never missed Mass, I prayed, I read the Bible. I was even an altar boy (forced in grade school; on my own volition in high school). The religion really grew on me and I actively partook in its practices. At one point, I was even going to a Bible study class voluntarily. I was the only one under 50 there (yikes). And that wasn’t too long ago. I think that was toward the end of my junior year of high school. But I really read into the meanings behind passages in the Bible. Often, I would over-think them and not know if what I was doing was right or wrong (I had taken a Christian morality class highly sourced in Thomas Aquinas my junior year of high school, so that just added to the problem). I was confused as to what I should be doing and feared some kind of repercussion later on, after death. This occurred nearly every day of my life from about 7th grade to 11th. But again, I got really into it starting in 8th grade, up until late junior year.

Looking back on it, that was one of the problems I didn’t realize I had — I felt horrible all the time. No matter what I did, I would feel guilty about doing something “wrong.” It got to the point at which I wasn’t even considering my well-being anymore. I would always say to myself (as lame and cheesy as it sounds), “how would Jesus act?” (Just typing that makes me cringe now). I cared too much about how I made other people feel and I totally disregarded my own well-being. The main point being that I didn’t take my happiness as a priority. And that’s one of the biggest mistakes a person can make.

Over the years, I’ve realized something: the key to life is happiness. Simple, right? And Buddhism teaches that as long as you have total control over your mind, you have the potential to alleviate all suffering. That is, you can become happy, because you and ONLY you can make yourself happy. The concept of impermanence is a great one. Things change, but if one has control over the mind, that shouldn’t matter. So many people get caught up in the smallest things. The world is full of worry and discontent. Nobody really seems satisfied. My question as of late is “why?” Why should you let yourself be unhappy? What’s the point? Think about it. What’s the benefit of being angry with someone? What’s the benefit of fretting over little things? What is worrying going to do? Nothing. All of these things do nothing but cause suffering. I’m no Buddhist, but it’s pretty clear to me. I understand there’s a lot more to it than this, but really, why should anyone allow him/herself to be unhappy? If one builds a strong mind and rids all delusions, happiness is the only thing left. That’s another thing: we are all very delusional. We let pride, jealousy, doubt, worry, anger, and much more get in the way of our happiness. Why even bother to deal with these things? Again, they serve no purpose but to cause suffering. It’s difficult, yes. But it’s common sense.

I’m all over the place with that last paragraph, but what it comes down to is being at peace with yourself. Do you see that happiness was the exact opposite of what I felt under Catholicism? You can call this the thesis of this post. Happiness is key. I suggest reading up on Buddhism a little bit. There’s a lot to learn from it. I had a rough time getting across what I wanted to say, but many others can explain it much better.

EDIT (12/18/09): Comments of entries like this tend to yield awesome results, so be sure to check those out, as I usually find myself discovering, clarifying, and sometimes even changing my opinion on some of the contents of posts. Consider them part of the original post!

So after a long hiatus, MOAR PLOX!!1! is back. Because you give a shit so uncontrollably, let me fill you in on what happened very quickly:

I wrecked EVERYTHING. Forgot to back up database, made changes, ruined all.

I was much too lazy to try to go through it all and fix it, so I decided to start anew. I figured it was time to get rid of everything anyway. I had some nice articles on here, but it’s all good. Kind of wish I’d saved those…

ANYWAY, as always, I’m going to promise to post more often and then totally forget about it. So look forward to that. Instead of limiting this blog to some niche (before it was primarily for my gaming interests), I’m just going to use this as a gateway to display what’s on my mind. Think of it as a wall at which I will throw my shit; a cornucopia of brain waste, if you will. Expect full-length rants, images, news, opinions, observations, all that junk. Whatever I deem important at the time. So keep an eye out; more posts to come.