Think…. Details + Polish. Personal narrative + Time-honoured Traditions.

If you look closely you will see the Chuppah that the couple (and their friends) made for the ceremonial space. Rebecca in her beautiful French gown and Geoff most dashing in his tuxedo were a sight to behold. We cried as they circled, made their vows, listened to the seven blessings, and  closed the ceremony by breaking a glass.

Everyone LOVED hearing the couple’s story. It was a time of heartfelt connection – pure and real.

Scott Johnson of Contrast Studio is working his magic with the photos. I think I can just barely wait to see them.  He’s kindly given us a sneak peek.

And in the meantime: MAZEL TOV to Rebecca and Geoff.

Wedding Professional Colleagues were:

Photographer: Scott @ Contrast Photography

Wedding Planner: Corinne @ Dreamgroup Productions

Videography: Mac and Erin @ Hello Tomorrow Wedding Films

Florals: Flower Factory

Enjoy the Festive Season. It’s a time to inspire and BE inspired!

Whatever ones faith, culture, or background the coming weeks hold so much meaning…including the winter solstice, the closing of a year, and the beginning of a new one. May you find peace amidst the busyness and joy with those you love. Here’s a little video I made to (hopefully) express meaningful greetings to my clients, colleagues, and cheerleaders.

I hope you ENJOY it!!!

All good things,
Celebrant Michele

PS DON”T FORGET TO CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO WATCH THE VIDEO.

Every Day is a Gift — a little video from Modern Celebrant

gadbois photography

Meet Ellie and Kirk. Aficionados of Fluevog… Unique soles for unique souls.

Yep. These two are unique souls for sure and they wanted their entire wedding day to reflect their personalities. Including their custom Wedding Ceremony. They knew they wanted a Wedding Celebrant, did a search and found Modern Celebrant.

It was love at first sight for me when I met Ellie and Kirk.

What a fun experience to vision a wedding ceremony for this hipster couple. They definitely did not want just a pretty ceremony, with rituals and words that looked and sounded nice but were empty of meaning.  A “Boring same-old, same-old” wedding ceremony wouldn’t have suited them AT ALL!

Ellie and Kirk wanted what I am passionate about creating… a wedding ceremony created from the inside, from the heart — through reflection and learning. We had two dinners at their place where we ate Ellie’s amazing food, drank equally amazing wine, and told stories. Kirk is a gifted teller of their experiences and I hung on every word.

gadbois photography

They shared thoughtful words with me about their vision for their wedding day. They wanted it to “…be a day to savour. A day to slow things down and let everyone who shares our wedding day take stock of the love in their own lives and realize how important they are to us.” For Kirk and Ellie it was also a chance to stamp a certain point in time and say, “This is the one I love. This is US showing our community how much we mean to each other!”

Day of the rain stopped for the ceremony window and we were able to do it outside on the lawn beside the lake. We began with a ring warming where the rings were passed among guests to each hold for a moment and offer their silent wish for Ellie and Kirk’s marriage. The ceremony was beautiful and the sun peeked out at such particular moments it was sort of like a divine blessing!

gadbois photography

WEDDING CELEBRANT & CUSTOM CEREMONY:Well, Modern Celebrant of course!

PHOTOGRAPHY: Gadbois Photography, Whistler BC. I loved working with Pascale. She and I are aligned in our paths as wedding professionals who value the deeper currents of what the couple is experiencing, as well as their guests. Pascale captures the moment. Modern Celebrant creates it.  Hope to work with her again. Do check out her site.

LOCATION:  The Edgewater Lodge , Whistler BC, truly has a fantastic location. Elegant dining room, beautiful and comfortable accommodations, a Lake, canoes, fine dining, mountain views! Love it.

~ Marianne Williamson

Do you ever have days when you feel inadequate or like you’ve somehow failed? Years ago I read this quote by Marianne Williamson and it’s stuck with me on those days where I just want to close in or shut down.  She calls it “playing small.”  It’s a great expression because that’s how it feels. Because I think in images as well as words, when I play small I am a bird with a wounded wing sitting quietly in the hopes no one will notice me.

It’s amazing to me how quickly feeling small can happen at times. It can come over me in a flash some days. A few careless words or treatment I perceive to be unjust or unkind… a painful memory… not feeling good enough. Who knows. Some days I just feel vulnerable.

But just as easily I can start humming and singing the song of my heart. I can be vulnerable and EXUBERANT! Unsure and STRONG! What the divine Ms. Marianne Williamson calls ‘Letting our own Light Shine.”

As a student of mindfulness, I try to experience and understand these powerful shifts. But often I wonder — is it just me who ping pongs like this?

Recently I returned from 3 weeks in France doing all the things that I love. Being with one of my dearest friends, walking ALL day, exploring and walking in the path of history. I was on top of the world, feeling like I’d come back to myself after giving so much to others during the ceremonial season.

And then the proverbial house of cards crashed in on me for the same-old same-old boring reasons.

But here’s the remarkable thing: I saw it happening! I consciously experienced feeling small in my body. It was like a hangover. Here’s what I did to let my light shine again.

1. Dropped and meditated:  Q: Where did I feel it in my body? A: Gut. Q: What would it be like to not feel it? A: Lighter. Easier. Less Painful.  Q: If I dropped it and chose serenity instead, what would that feel like? Answer: FREE.
2. Got dressed in a funky outfit that was fun to put together, in the colours I like, and my boots that cost my first born child but make me feel AWESOME.
3. Chose to omit things from my day that were hard and instead did things that I am good at. (Benefits of self-employment)
4. Reached out to someone new that I’d like to get to know better and made a date to get together. (If it was an old friend I would have whined and complained.)
5. End of day result: Shining FULL ON.

It takes time and practice to learn these skills and commitment to do them. But with mindfulness and the conscious transformation of the thoughts that are just that- thoughts – I feel my my light. I feel my innate shinyness. And I am not shrinking!

Yes, it is true. Playing small does not serve. Me or the world.

In peace,

Celebrant Michele

No matter what one’s values are, each of us is joined by common beliefs that are universally human: The need for companionship of the heart. And our yearning for the awakening qualities of Love.

So it is that a wedding is one of the most powerfully transformational ceremonies of all.

Never is this more clear to me than when I collaborate in ceremony with people of the First Nations communities. These are individuals, families, and communities who truly deeply value and understand that words are actions… that ceremony is a doorway to the sacred, to the profound. At a First Nations ceremony I understand that one cannot exclude a member of the community. All must be welcomed, even when there are disagreements. I like this. Though it must be challenging at times.

Because First Nations have such rich and strong ceremonial traditions, I am always tremendously humbled to be asked to guide a ceremony with these communities. It is truly a gift in my own life.

This First Nation Wedding Ceremony was a Same-Sex wedding for two very private women, who I won’t name or photograph here to honour their natures. They recognized that their wedding ceremony was the symbolic representation of a profound and life-changing experience. They wanted to feel changed as they promised their love and trust for each other. They also wanted their wedding ceremony to be warm-hearted, relaxed, and most of all deeply meaningful. For them, as well as for all who participated.

We began with a sister smudging us as a gesture of purification and prayer. A brother sang a traditional song while this took place. I felt transported right away. By the way, we were outdoors with tall cedars surrounding us and a lapis sky overhead.

The ceremony was full of storytelling and a very lovely handfasting incorporating natural elements used for ceremonial purposes in the two different nations of the couple including Cedar and Sage.

We ended with a Friendship Circle and drumming, where one goes around the circle of those gathered to greet each and every person. Everyone takes a turn, kind of like a circle that snakes back on itself. AMAZING!!!

I was struck by how there was no hint of the perfunctory in this experience. Each guest shook my hand, looked me in the eye, and said something relevant and meaningful. The eye contact was very striking. I’ve been at events where people need to shake hands and some do it like they are completely uninterested. This did not happen here. Not even close.

In closing I’d like to share a poem the couple wished to be read during the ceremony.  I love it.  The poem is called Eagle Poem and it is by Joy Harjo a member of the Creek Nation. I heartily encourage you to check out her website – it’s inspiring to say the least.

There is no note on the calendar or in my daytimer.

But yesterday I began to feel like I was spinning. Had the distinct sense that I was riding a train that just got switched to an entirely new track, going to a new place without my permission. I felt anxious, fluttery, worried, and sad.

This morning in my meditation practice, my mind connected with what was going on in my body.  My body reminded me of the single most painful moment of my life, seven years ago. As flashbacks of the moment I was told of her death hit me, I rocked back and forth on my cushion remembering the sound that came from my mouth at that time. A keening. A howling. Terrible.

In the safety and sanctity of my meditation room, tears wet my face. I literally was trembling. And then there came a gentling.  I felt awash with a powerful feeling that took over from the painful memories. I believe it was love in its purest form. Love for my dear friend’s sorrow…love for the amazing person she was and the extraordinary experiences she awakened me to in life, and in her death… love for my still wounded self.

It was Nicki’s death that led me to the practice of Celebrancy. Her death changed my life.  Her memory guides me today in many aspects of my life including my ceremonial practice.

Today I honour the Sister of my Heart.  Thank you Nickster for helping me to sing my song. Bless you.

Celebrant Michele

Today I was appreciated.  Deeply appreciated. Thoughtfully appreciated. It was jet fuel for my soul. Just call me “Rocket-ship Davidson”.

Not only was I appreciated, I was appreciated in a way the person knew would resonate with me. This person took the time to discover and reflect on what that might be.  As I write this I realize – HEY, that’s exactly how a Celebrant should behave! Finding the resonance is Celebrants do best.

So what rocked my world?

Celebrant in training Catherine M. met me at my local tea lounge Shaktea which I LOVE LOVE LOVE.  I thought we were meeting for me to share with Catherine about my practice over a simple cup of tea. I was incredibly delighted to find that Catherine had pre-reserved Shaktea’s coveted Afternoon Tea. Can you hear me licking my chops?  Not only that, she presented me with a gorgeous bouquet of fall flowers.  I was so touched, the tears nearly fell except that I was smiling too hard to cry. I have a big smile and it was truly shining like a beacon! I felt like a Princess for an Afternoon.

It made me think about the art of appreciating someone.

Being appreciated is a wonderful feeling. It’s inspiring. Motivating. Today’s appreciation helps me to feel I’m on the right path with my work.

Catherine’s very thoughtful and genuine gesture makes me want to pay it forward.  Tomorrow I am going to appreciate someone else in a meaningful way.  Doesn’t have to cost a whack of dough… doesn’t have to cost anything… but it needs to be thoughtful and aligned with the person.  Hm…. who will be my appreciation gal or guy tomorrow?  Look out, it might be YOU!!!

Little one comes from an oral storytelling culture and telling her story was an important part of this community-based ceremony. The journey of adoption is often a winding one… one that contains a great deal of wisdom.

As I often do, I included Raffi’s wonderful Covenant for Honouring Children. People are always moved by it.

A happy day full of possibilities and feasting.

I’m pleased to rerun it here. You may also want to check out Spirituality and Health for the article.

Divorce holds the potential to transform the lives of those who go through it. It is a painful journey, one that takes courage and a personal commitment to healing.

So what gives with the lack of ritual around it?

There is a trend gathering steam that supports divorced individuals to embrace their future in a meaningful way: Divorce Ceremonies. A thoughtful Divorce Ceremony mindfully unbinds the emotional ties of a relationship and can be a hugely transformative part of the healing process.

An aim may be to help the individual acknowledge the good parts of the marriage and not reject it outright. In virtually every marriage, even the most dysfunctional, there were lessons learned and small blessings (sometimes in disguise!)

One must be well and truly ready for such a ritual, often two years after the marriage is legally over, because it takes time to awaken to conciliation. Ex-spouses have differing emotional paces and needs, and so Divorce Ceremonies are typically for the individual.

As with all deeply resonate ceremonies, the preparation done to develop the rituals used are the foundation of the experience.

Through mindful reflection the individual comes to inwardly acknowledge the gifts of the marriage, and the opportunities that lie ahead as the result of its conclusion. During the ceremony, the honoree symbolically manifests this acceptance.

Such a ritual can take the form of clipping the edges of a marriage certificate to symbolically render it null and then making pledges for ones future, reworking a ring, or gifting.

When the union has brought children into the world, one may express intention to interact respectfully with ones former spouse by offering prayers of forgiveness and release.

Typically a small but close group of family and friends are invited to attend the intimate ceremony. Guests may find the ceremony provides a safe place to process whatever feelings they themselves hold around this divorce.

I love what Marianne Williamson says about divorce in her lovely book Illuminata: Thoughts, Prayer, Rites of Passage: “I bless you and release you. Please forgive me; I forgive you. Go in peace. You will remain in my heart.”

But finding the right person to guide your ceremony can be a daunting task — especially if you are not affiliated with a particular tradition or if yours is an interfaith or intercultural relationship. My advice? Treat your ceremony with the reverence it deserves – and find a Celebrant who does too.

The key to finding a Wedding Officiant who is a good match is to ask questions. To help you, I’ve put together:

My Top TEN Tips  (and FIVE things to secretly consider!)

ONE: How do you create the ceremony? Officiants who are skilled in the craft of writing meaningful and emotive copy are hard to come by. They also need to have superior interviewing and reflective skills to uncover your hidden stories. Ask them how they do that… what is their own creative process? Ask to read some ceremony samples. This can be very telling. Some will not share even small samples or you may find an Officiant has used the same or similar copy in a number of their ceremonies. If you want a custom wedding ceremony – this isn’t it!

TWO: What training do you have in creating and officiating at ceremonies? Many Officiants have no specific training in ceremony. Look for those who have a sound background in the history of ritual and ceremony, knowledge of ceremonial traditions around the world, the ability to manage and choreograph the ceremony itself, and experience in public ceremonial speaking. They should have a rich background in ceremony, from theory to writing to public speaking. Don’t feel embarrassed about asking for credentials, references, and testimonials.

THREE: What makes you different than other Wedding Officiants? What makes your wedding ceremonies and client experiences special and unique? What inspires you about being a wedding Officiant?

FOUR: Will you suggest and create wedding rituals and traditions, readings, and vows especially for us? Let’s say you are Chinese and your partner is Jewish… how will your Officiant blend these two richly ceremonial cultures through your wedding rituals? Or you are a musician and a dancer, how might that be reflected in the elements of the ceremony?

FIVE: Will we have final approval over the script? Don’t let a fill-in-the-name ceremony be imposed on you. The Officiant should collaborate with you every step of the way so that the ceremony is completely custom made for you. Ensure that you will be given the chance to proof several drafts of a ceremony so you know that it is right. Remember, if he or she asks you to choose between several options, it is not a custom ceremony.

SIX: What do people say about you as a public speaker? Great writing is lost when an Officiant has a stiff, monotone, or overly formal delivery. Memorable Officiants bring written words to life. Ask if he or she has trained with a vocal coach. Ask to see testimonials, or better yet ask for references. Find out what former guests and clients have to say about the Officiant’s performance. Were they warm yet dignified, engaging, able to breath life into traditional elements, and did they have presence? Did they hold the audience’s attention? Were they able to project without using a microphone?

SEVEN: What exactly is included? Some Officiants charge a base fee and then add on for meetings, interviews, travel, and rehearsals. Some provide you with a beautiful keepsake copy of your ceremony and some charge a fee to do so. Additional fees can add up quickly. Make sure you know what is and what is not included in the fee.

EIGHT: How many ceremonies do you do in a year? And more importantly, in a day? Many wedding officiants now say they ‘limit’ the number of ceremonies they perform. Ask them what that means. Their answer will reveal how custom their work is. Anyone who does a number of ceremonies in one day may well be doing customized, not custom work. There’s a big difference. (It takes many hours before even putting pen to paper to craft a truly custom ceremony. The number of ceremonies definitely reflects how custom the officiant’s work is.)

NINE: What is your legal authorization? Make sure they are legally registered to perform wedding ceremonies in your province or state, and will submit the paperwork for you.

TEN: How do you work with our other ceremonial professionals? The Officiant should coordinate as needed with musicians to provide music cues for the ceremony, with photographers and videographers to assist them in getting the best shots, and with the staff of your venue to ensure that the ceremony will not conflict in any way with their requirements.

FIVE Things to secretly Reflect upon when Meeting a Wedding Officiant:

ONE – Do you have the sense that the Officiant will work hard to get to know you and convey the essence of who you are? Do they seem to really care about their work and love doing it? Or do you get the hit that it’s more of a business to them?

TWO – Will you feel comfortable stating your preferences to the Officiant? Even those that may seem insignificant? How responsive do you think they will be to any edits or concerns you wish to put forward?

THREE - Do you like the sound of the Officiant’s voice? 

FOUR – Do you feel trust and emotional connection with the Officiant? Are they the right sort of person to engage and inspire you as well as your guests?

FIVE – Does the Officiant respect and understand your faith traditions (or absence of them)? Do they seem to genuinely be interested in approaching the ceremony from the perspective of your background and be able to draw in elements to suit it?

Modern Celebrant hopes this will inspire you

to find a good match for your match!