It is no secret to anyone that knows me that I have a fondness for gracious living. When we homeschooled and I wasn’t working so much, the kids and I would stop for tea every day.

It was a time for them to learn to try new things, a time to relax, a time to bond. I loved it and so did the kids – for the most part they are all tea drinkers to this day.

When I saw Tea Rex I knew immediately that it was going on my shelves. First of all, what little girl doesn’t like the idea of tea? What little boy doesn’t like the idea of a dinosaur? The combination is magical. The illustrations are gorgeous, will make you smile, and get the lesson in good manners across without being preachy.

What does one do when a rather large T-Rex makes a guest appearance at one’s tea party?

One serves him tea of course!

The combination of humorous text and humorous illustration will keep your child engrossed in the story until the end – and then they will want you to read it again and again. Tea Rex is 40 pages of fun for children ages three through five, but I am betting the older kids will sneak it to their favorite reading nook when no one is looking.

Molly Idle, the author, is primarily an illustrator of children’s books but she has made the jump to author perfectly. Before working on children’s books, she worked for DreamWorks Feature Animation Studios, another venue for fun children’s entertainment!

Give Tea Rex a try,  maybe with some tea and cookies to round out the fun.

image: Amazon

Prom season is sort of like hunting season except the gear costs more.

Way more.

Apparently the average parent spends around a thousand dollars on prom. My kids don’t do prom since we homeschooled and this year my daughter, now in school, had no interest in it. That’s good because apparently I need to start saving up.

The dresses are expensive — I get that. You’re talking a fancy prom dress, new shoes, hair appointment, mani-pedi, and potentially a few other things.

In addition there is the limo rental, money for dinner, and an after-party, and flowers. I m sure there are other incidentals, too. It just amazes me that proms have become mini weddings.

When I was in school, prom was a lot simpler. I can’t imagine what my parents would have said to a bill that high. The prom dress was off the rack at Sanger Harris, the shoes were the ones in my closet, the limo was my 1977 Monte Carlo, and dinner was at Pizza Hut.

There was no after-party because, let’s face it — the prom was the party. We did not seem to need a party to celebrate the party.

The after-prom celebration usually occurred in the car in a remote area.

While I don’t think I would be happy shelling out that much money, I can see why parents do. Who wants their kid to be the only one who doesn’t get to ride in a limo or eat at the most expensive restaurant in town?

For right now, I am just glad that I don’t have to worry about it. Would you spend that much on prom?

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Gwyneth Paltrow seems to keep herself on the cutting edge, balancing precariously on a barbwire fence between parenting innovations and OMG what is she going to do next?

Well, what she did next was to create a line of string bikinis for girls — girls that are sizes 4, 6, and 8. Mothers across the Internet are outraged, claiming that Paltrow is sexualizing little girls.

The Daily Mail quotes a spokesperson for Paltrow who called the criticism absurd, saying that two piece bathing suits have been worn by girls for decades.

I took a look at the bikinis on her site. They are solid black or navy with ruffles along the edge of the top and the back of the bottom. The top ties behind the neck and in the back; the bottoms tie on each side.

Yep, it’s a string bikini, but not what I expected from all of the outcry. I thought that both the top and bottoms covered well. The image on her website only shows the child from the back so I can’t comment on how the front looks.

I am firmly against the sexualization of little girls. I don’t think any fashion, event, or photoshoot does that as badly as pageants, and yet we watch those things with gusto.

Little girls in makeup parading across the stage just disgusts me. I guess that’s why I don’ t see what the hubbub is all about. The bikini isn’t microscopic and, as any teenager can tell you, you have to double knot the ties to ensure security.

I don’t see that it is a lot different than a regular bikini.

And for those of you that don’t think littles should be in bikinis? Let me tell you, my long torsoed nine year old shows more in a one piece because of the combination of her skinniness and the amount of vertical stretch.

Personally, I think parents should be free to make their children’s clothing choices as they see fit.

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I often stand on the sidelines in bewilderment in how young teen girls dress.

I’m not talking about the latest styles, because every generation has its foibles. I know my mother wasn’t too keen on my wearing two pairs of socks on the outside of my pants in the 80s. That kind of thing is a fad, and they pass – thank God!

I bring up dress codes because of the controversy over a school in Readingtown Township, NJ, that has banned strapless dresses from the middle school’s eighth-grade dance. Other stories have made the news with various tee-shirts being banned due to dress codes in public schools.

These dress codes include restrictions from one end of the spectrum to the other. Some ban patriot and religious sayings or symbols and others addresses age-appropriate dress, like for the dance in New Jersey.

I could get in here deep and say we don’t need dress codes because it is the parent’s right to decide what their child wears.

However, the school is funded by the government, so as long as we choose to send our kids to the school, then I guess we have to abide by their rules – including dress codes.

The Principal of the school offered some of the reasons for the ban, including the fact that strapless dresses sometime slip down when a girl is dancing. She also said that strapless styles are “distracting” to the boys.

I agree with her, but I still think parents should have the freedom to choose what their kids are wearing, even if I don’t like it.

Photo credits: adrianol

The other night, I was reclining on my bed doing research for an article while watching a National Geographic show about Yellowstone.

I love learning new things, and true to form, this National Geographic documentary was full of interesting information I didn’t know as well as some breathtaking scenery.

My nine year old daughter strolled into the room and jumped up to sit on the foot of my bed. I looked up and gave her a smile, waiting for her to make her request or tattle on one of her siblings, but she was quiet with her eyes glued to the television so I went back to work.

The narrator’s voice became a buzz in my ears as I focused more on what I was doing than on what he was saying.

All of a sudden I heard my daughter say, “Mom! Why are those wolves stuck together?”

I didn’t have to look  up. You and I both know why those wolves were stuck together, don’t we?

“Well, they are mating. When wolves and dogs mate the male….” I gave her the entire scenario without breaking a sweat, my best poker face on display.

She listened intently, nodded and went back to watching the show. I was proud of myself for handling it so matter of factly.

A few minutes later her brother came into the room. Yes, my bedroom is a popular place. I think it’s because my kids were home-births and they keep getting drawn back to the place of their origin, much like a salmon. Anyway, he jumped up on the bed and began to watch the show.

My daughter turned to face him and said ” Guess what? When wolves mate they get stuck together and the male wolf has to wait up to 30 minutes to get his…”

My son turned to me. “Is that true mom?”

I nodded weakly.

By the end of the night everyone in the house knew why the wolves were stuck together and how long they would have to stay that way. I won’t enlighten you to the various comments that were made by the older kids and even at least one of the adults.

Between the magazine and the television specials, it hasn’t been difficult to broach the topic of sex in my household, often before I am ready. In fact, National Geographic probably has been more help to parents in the long history of the magazine than the pacifier.

Think about it.

• When kids need to write a report or find information about a country or society? Send them to National Geographic.
• If your kids tell you they are bored? Turn on National Geographic.
• Need images for a bulletin board? National Geographic again.

And, of course it has the ability to create many, many teachable moments as in the example above.

This started out to be an attempt at humor but the more I wrote, the more I realized that it really is a valuable part of many of our lives.

Next time the National Geographic show you are watching heats up, don’t change the channel. You may have an awesome teachable moment on your hands.

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Making summer easier is always a good thing. Here are five of my favorite ideas.

One: Transportable Drinks

This one is so simple! You just use wide mouth pint jars to put your drinks in (alcoholic or otherwise) and then use the lids and bands to seal them tightly. You can easily take them in a cooler or put them into a large container filled with ice out on your patio when you entertain at home.

I like it because it means that you can make cocktails ahead of time without worrying that they will get spilled or stale.

Two: Transportable Drinks, Again

My kids love those juice packs and I bet yours do, too. The can get expensive and they don’t always have the kinds of things I want my kids to drink. Solution? Use a zippered freezer bag and tape a straw to it. When everyone’s thirsty you can poke the straw through the plastic (you’ll probably need a knife) and there it is! Your very own juice pack filled with your favorite drink.

I’ll take a nice Merlot, please.

Three: Make a Bunch of Corn on the Cob at Once

When there is gobs of fresh corn available, we eat it ravenously. You can make a lot of it all at once if you use the slow cooker. Just put the husked and cleaned ears in the slow cooker with some butter and a little salt. Cook it on low for about four hours and you’re done!

Four: Help Your Kids Build an Air Fort

This is one of the coolest ideas that I have seen. When your kids get bored or it’s raining outside, build a fort  made from air, duct tape, and a sheet.

Five: Get Chores Done Pronto

Best. Idea. Ever. Make your WiFi password protected if it isn’t all ready. Kids have to have their chores done before the password is given out. Change it everyday and you are sure to have all of the cooperation you need!

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None of my children are overweight, despite the grocery bill that makes me cry on a regular basis. All of them have normal appetites except the one that eats enough for an army and the one whose diet is measured in teaspoons rather than cups.

Small teaspoons – maybe even half sized.

Until this child was born, I lived by the age old creed that a child wouldn’t starve themselves and if you didn’t make food an issue they would eat a well rounded diet. It always worked. I never had fussy eaters – they’d eat nearly any vegetable, including spinach and Brussels sprouts. Well, that was then.

This child is tiny. She is tall for her age (9) but can still easily slip into her size 5 clothing (way too short). She has one of those bodies – you know, long legged, knobby knees, and ribs that you can count.

In my head, I know that she is healthy so she must be getting nutrients somewhere, but in my heart I am in a constant state of panic, worrying that she will implode when her body eats itself.

Last night I made meatloaf, salad, potatoes, and a recipe for blondies that I am working on. I gave her half a piece of meatloaf, about 1/4 cup of potatoes, and maybe three lettuce leaves. She moved it around on her plate for awhile, took a few bites, and then announced, “I’m full. Can I have dessert?”

Her thinking is that dessert is the more important component of the meal and therefore one must ensure that there is room for at least one serving, possibly two if you can talk mom into it.

I did something I swore I would never do. I told her to finish her dinner.

It’s a new day at my house. I don’t want to make food a battle, but I do want her to consume more than 27 calories a day. I’ve used all of my picky eater tricks to no avail. How do you handle the food wars, if you have them?

image: Marye Audet

Parents focus a lot on when babies start to talk, and most of us are sure that “da-da” is a real attempt at saying “daddy.” Talking to our babies is important and our verbal interaction has been shown to be associated with our children’s early speech and language skills.

When they gurgle, coo, giggle, and smile in response to our talking to them there’s nothing more rewarding.

I always talked to my kids like they were little people. I didn’t talk baby talk, and they understood much of what I was saying long before they could really form words. When they cooed, laughed, and gurgled, I responded. This is all part of the attention our kids need.

They love to hear us talk and it’s how they learn to talk. I read that the more you talk to your baby, the sooner they will talk, but I’m not sure about that. I talked with both of my kids, and my daughter was an early talker and my son…well not so much. He was almost two when he really started to talk, and he went right to short sentences.

The thing that most of us don’t realize is that when we talk to our babies we are also helping to develop their listening skills. While we all can’t wait for our kids to talk, we also want them to be good listeners. So as your baby grows be sure to talk and interact with them. Take the time to read to them. Those colorful little fabric books are good starter books because they are washable.

Once they start talking, I admit there are days I wish for some peace and quiet, but really, I’m happy to have kids who want to talk with me.

Photo credits: familymwr

A study on the effects of porn on teenagers was recently released that seems to conclude that porn does not have as much of an influence on teenager’s sexuality as previously thought. Researchers concluded that it had a small effect on how adventurous a teenager might be and how willing he or she would be to try new things, but it wasn’t the main contributing factor to promiscuity in teens.

It did suggest that girls who watched hardcore porn were more likely to have sexual experiences than those who didn’t.

I can agree with that. There are lots of teens having sex that haven’t ever watched porn.

It turns out that one of the main factors that affected teens’ sexuality was (get ready for it) their temperament. Some kids are just more interested and curious about sex than others. Some kids have a higher sex drive than others — it isn’t that they shouldn’t learn to control it and handle it responsibly, it’s just that they are more likely to be drawn to sexual things.

I love asparagus and my husband hates it — guess which of us has a hard time staying away from it if it’s on the table?

Other factors include peers, family circumstances, and what their initial sexual experience was like. Basically, while porn is one of many factors that affect sexuality in teens, it isn’t the only factor or even the biggest one.

The study went on to say that society as a whole was becoming increasingly accepting of sexually explicit material.

I can agree with that, too. After all, situations and dialogues that would have been only available in tiny, out of the way movie houses in the 1970s are now featured on our widescreen televisions during prime time.

I admit to watching a couple of shows that cause me to get bug eyed once in awhile because of the blatant references to various activities and I know that the more you are entertained by sexual innuendo and scenes, the less it bothers you. We are increasingly desensitized to the morals that we grew up with.

Here’s the thing. Despite the fact that Desi and Lucy slept in twin beds and bra commercials were only shown during daytime soaps and only on headless mannequin torsos, kids in the 1960s and 1970s had sex. Lots of it.

Some people believe that the study is biased. After all, the people most likely to be online and answer sex surveys are those who are sexually active and adventurous to some extent. If the majority of the responders are sexually adventurous, then wouldn’t it be skewed since it didn’t include celibate kids that were unlikely to seek out sexually oriented materials?

Personally, I don’t care what the studies say. I don’t think porn is a positive influence on society in any way, shape, or form. I think it gives boys (and men) unrealistic ideas of what a healthy sexual relationship is.

The value of the study, in my opinion, is that rather than concentrating on how bad porn is for teenagers, perhaps we should be looking at our own examples, what we accept, what we watch, and what we do. Maybe parents should keep a closer eye on children’s peer groups, and encourage kids to be themselves rather than be pushed by peer pressure.

Porn has been around for eons and it likely isn’t going anywhere. We have to learn to work around it rather than spend all of our energies trying to subdue it.

source: NBC News

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