mom-fiction

WHAT TO WATCH- BEST NEW TV SHOWS OF THE SEASON

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 00:41:00 +0000

Every fall, television fans deliberate over which new shows deserve a spot on their jam-packed DVRs. Have no fear, I’ve done all the work for you and compiled a list of 11 of the most promising new shows of the season. Happy watching!

THE GOOD PLACE

Premieres September 19^th, 10pm on NBC

The latest quirky comedy from creator Michael Schur (Parks and Recreation) stars the super cute Kristen Bell playing a woman attempting to become a better person in the afterlife. Ted Danson costars.

THIS IS US

Premieres September 20^th, 10pm on NBC

This drama follows the lives of people who all have the same birthday and whose paths will eventually intersect. The preview doesn’t give much more away than that, but it does show off an endearing cast in story lines that tug at the heart.

SPEECHLESS

Premieres September 21^st, 8:30pm on ABC

A mom (Minnie Driver) does whatever it takes to care for her husband and three children, one of whom is special needs. Driver’s sassy mom from the sadly canceled About a Boy seems to have been transplanted into this new sitcom.

DESIGNATED SURVIVOR

Premieres September 21^st, 10pm on ABC

After working tirelessly to save every darn president on 24, Kiefer Sutherland is finally made president himself after an attack on U.S. soil leaves him next in line for the job. Sutherland sports a sweatshirt during most of the trailer to demonstrate to viewers that he really wasn’t expecting this, but it’s a Cornell sweatshirt so he’ll probably be at least somewhat prepared.

DIVORCE

Premieres October 9^th, 10pm on HBO

Sarah Jessica Parker stars in this comedy about a woman resolved to end her troubled marriage. The creators insist that SJP is playing a completely different character from Carrie in Sex in the City. Still, this is also set in New York City, so it only seems fair to throw fans a bone and have Mr. Big somehow be responsible for the marriage falling apart.

AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE

Premieres October 11^th, 8:30pm on ABC

A mom of three feels out of place with the other “perfect moms” in Westport, Conn. The trailer includes jokes about Spanx and Fitbits which feel a bit outdated, but it seems charming enough to be given a chance.

GILMORE GIRLS: A YEAR IN THE LIFE

Premieres November 25^th on Netflix

Grab your coffee mugs, Pop Tarts, and takeout from Al’s Pancake World and sink into the couch for the much anticipated Gilmore Girls revival. The reboot consists of four 90-minute movies, each spanning a season (we know Lorelei will at least be able to smell when winter is coming). Everyone (and their mother) is back, plus there will be fun cameos from Sutton Foster and Mae Whitman.

24: LEGACY

Premieres Feb. 5^th, 8pm on FOX

Kiefer Sutherland is finally getting his chance to rule the nation on Designated Survivor, but he still found time to sign on to the latest 24 installment as an executive producer. Corey Hawkins and Miranda Otto (Homeland) star as our new heroes who must stop an imminent terrorist attack on U.S. soil.

MAKING HISTORY

Premieres 2017 on FOX

A nerdy science professor (Adam Pally) discovers he has the ability to time travel back to the 18^th century. He starts to spend time with a young woman (Leighton Meester) who happens to be Paul Revere’s daughter, which threatens to change the course of history. Laugh-out-loud dialogue delivered by the always hilarious Adam Pally makes this look like it will be comedic gold.

SHOTS FIRED

Premieres 2017 on FOX

A timely ten-hour event series set in a small rural town in Tennessee about rising racial tensions in the aftermath of a series of police shootings. The strong cast includes Helen Hunt, Richard Dreyfuss and Stephen Moyer.

STAR

Premieres 2017 on FOX

Fans of Lee Daniels’s Empire will rejoice with his latest project, a peek into the music business from the perspective of three young women who desperately want to become famous. The supporting cast includes Queen Latifah, Benjamin Bratt and Lenny Kravitz.

What new show are you most looking forward to watching?

Follow mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter.

BRAVOLEBRITIES ARE JUST LIKE TODDLERS

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Fri, 15 Jul 2016 20:32:00 +0000

1. Erika Girardi has created an entire profession that revolves around playing dress-up.

2. When things go his way, Fredrick Eklund kicks his feet up and does a happy dance.

3. Jeff Lewis throws massive temper tantrums when things do not go his way.

4. Kandi Burruss has created a whole business centered around selling "toys".

5. Every time Kim Fields goes on a girl's trip she becomes terribly homesick.

6. Lisa Vanderpump's dream gift is a miniature horse.

7. Luann de Lesseps needs some work on her listening skills. And her name-calling.

8. Sonja Morgan keeps getting visits from the tooth fairy for all of her missing teeth.

9. Vicki Gunvalson has been known to accidentally pee in her pants instead of the potty.

Follow mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter!

On Grieving

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:21:00 +0000

The unrelenting pain from losing a loved one can be overwhelming and paralyzing. It feels like nothing will ever be the same, and for good reason, because nothing ever will. For me, compassionate and wise words helped. They didn’t wipe away my tears or obliterate my pain, but sometimes they were the only thing that helped me get through the next day, hour or minute. Encouraging words were delivered through cards, e-mails and texts from my closest friends and from people who I hadn’t spoken to in 20 years. Friends who had suffered their own losses sent me books and articles that had guided them through their own dark days. People who didn’t really know what loss felt like still checked in and told me they didn’t know what to say but they were thinking of me and loved me. Every kind word made a difference.

Writing also helped. I wrote of an imagined last breakfast of bagels and lox with my mom. Sometimes I’ll revisit that post and it feels so tangible that for a few moments I’ll think it really happened.

If you’ve lost someone close to you or if you find yourself wishing you had the right words to impart on someone who is grieving, below are some quotes that may help get you through the next year, day, or minute.

“If you're going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill

I’ve always loved this quote. Unfortunately, there never seems to be a set list of rules to follow when attempting to get over any one of life’s many hurdles, but just pushing through the pain, however tough that may be, will usually lead you through to the other side of it.

“She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.” - George Eliot

People may try to tell you that time heals all wounds and eventually life will return to normal, but those who have suffered loss know that the healing process is not this simple. Do not attempt to rid yourself of grief; rather, try to live alongside it. It was only when I came to terms with the fact that I am now a fundamentally different person that I was able to move on with my life. A new life, but a worthwhile one just the same.

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”   - Elisabeth Keebler-Ross

As far as I’m concerned, closure is a fictional concept and I personally wouldn’t recommend wasting your time struggling to achieve it. Rather, focus on rebuilding yourself into someone who can make the most out of each and every day, regardless of the fact that a part of you is missing.

“When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time — the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes — when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever — there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.” – John Irving, Prayer for Owen Meany

There are days when I hear the phone ring and I just assume that it’s my mother…even more than two years after her passing. I’ve reached for the phone so she could keep me company when putting food away from the store, to share updates after doctor appointments, to tell her about a book or television show I think she might enjoy. LinkedIn recently asked if I want to follow my mother. I’ll spray her perfume and feel she is in the room with me. I am periodically hit with moments of forgetfulness, and a big part of me is grateful for this.

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” – Anne Lamott

“Learning to dance with the limp” is a quote I know my mom would have absolutely loved. Loss can certainly feel like an amputation of sorts, like part of you has also died. But the truth is you are still very much alive and you must learn to appreciate the good that remains.

“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect this shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe their husband is about to return and need his shoes.” - Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

The idea that you will never again be able to talk to someone you love is a concept that is all but impossible to fathom. You may take months to grasp it, and you may never truly come to terms with it. Know that you are not alone in this and the fact is that this inability to fully comprehend our loss may just be the thing that helps keep us going.

“There are no happy endings.

Endings are the saddest part,

So just give me a happy middle

And a very happy start.” - Shel Silverstein

So many people spend their days deliberating over regrets, over what could have been done differently, how they could have saved their loved one, thinking of final last words that were never spoken. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone declare that they were completely satisfied with their final moments with a loved one. So make sure to make the very most of your time with loved ones in the present. And never let yourself be taken over with regrets.

"Here is one of the worst things about having someone you love die: It happens again every single morning." - Anna Quindlen, Every Last One

One of the most heartbreaking aspects of losing someone is that you must wake up each morning to the same loss, and the first few weeks can be brutal. The first few seconds of wakefulness can be moments of blissful ignorance. And then it hits you and suddenly you are wide awake with the irreversible truth that you have forever lost someone who was here on this earth just days before.

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” - Shakespeare, Henry VI, Park III

It’s simple: do not try to avoid your pain, or mask it to make others around you more comfortable. Feel what you need to feel and in time your tears may lessen.

Follow mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter.

AND THE AWARD GOES TO...

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Fri, 29 Jan 2016 21:01:00 +0000

Awards season is upon us once again, so I wanted to give some special attention to a few random things that help get me through the day.

BEST NEW TV SHOW: Catastrophe

This Amazon Prime comedy about a fling that becomes something more is one of the funniest and most endearing shows I’ve seen in a while. Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan are sweet and sassy as the new couple whose lives are turned upside down after finding out some life changing news. Warning: Season One is only six episodes, so don’t be disappointed when it ends too quickly! Luckily, Season Two premieres in March.

BEST ARTS & CRAFTS SUPPLIES: Crayola No Drip Paintbrush Pens

I won’t buy anything that is not washable because WHY?!? These washable, non-toxic paintbrush pens are basically markers with brush tops, but my kids love the unique brushstrokes they can create with them. Their fine tips and bold colors make drawing easy and fun for kids of all ages.

BEST DESSERT: Dole Dippers

If you’re looking for less guilt to come along with your dessert, these delicious frozen strawberries, bananas and pineapple, dipped in dark chocolate do the trick.

BEST KIDS SONGS: Free to Be You and Me

I loved introducing my boys to this iconic soundtrack from my childhood. Features the voices of Marlo Thomas, Diana Ross, Mel Brooks, Alan Alda and many more. Great messages for boys and girls about the importance of staying true to who you are. Bring these classic songs back!

BEST KIDS SANDAL: Keens

Having gone through a few brands of sandals by now, I like how these are breathable and fast drying for beach/pool days but also have good traction and actually stay on your kid’s feet so you don’t have to worry about them tripping as soon as they start to run off.

BEST DRINK: La Croix Seltzer

I only have eyes for the pamplemousse flavor, but this refreshing seltzer also comes in unique flavors such as mango, passion fruit, orange, peach pear and lime. Sugar, sodium, calorie and preservative free. I would drink this over diet soda any day.

BEST TOY FOR PRESCHOOLERS: Leap Frog Scribble and Write

This is the perfect tool to help preschoolers practice writing their upper and lowercase letters. Once your child has their letters down, they can graduate to the guessing games. Portable and easy to use, this is a great educational toy.

BEST NEW CARTOON: PJ Masks

This new Disney Jr. show is a runaway hit in my house. And in a world that lately seems to be overrun with ice princesses and light sabers, it’s refreshing to watch Catboy, Gekko and Owlette go on fun adventures and solve some mysteries along the way. Just not sure why my kids keep referring to me as Luna Girl…

What do you think deserves an award?

If you think mom-fiction should win an award, please follow me on Facebook and Twitter!

TV TIME

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 14:04:00 +0000

Last month, I wrote an open letter to television executives sharing my brilliant ideas for some new shows we could all watch together as a family. While it doesn't seem like they took any of my ideas for the new fall lineup, here is a list of some new shows that have the potential for greatness.

Blindspot (NBC)

Premieres: Monday, September 21^st at 10/9c
In my endless quest to find the next Lost, I will watch this show about a woman (Jaimie Alexander) who wakes up naked and confused in Times Square with her body covered in tattoos. At the end of the day, I know in my heart that nothing will replace the tattooed Matthew Fox waking up confused on an island (even if he wasn’t naked). But this show does serve as a good reminder that Times Square is going downhill again.

Life in Pieces (CBS)

Premieres: Monday, September 21^st at 8:30/7:30c
Lost isn’t the only show I’m in mourning for. Even more soul-crushing to me is the loss of Parenthood. But seeing Dianne Wiest star in this new comedy reminds me of the movie Parenthood, and Betsy Brandt was in the TV version, and I’m always confusing Colin Hanks with Jason Ritter... so out of desperation and confusion I am going to watch this and just pretend it’s Parenthood.

The Muppets (ABC)

Premieres: Tuesday, September 22^nd at 8/7c
As my kids get older, I’m starting to look for shows we can all watch together as a family. Since I figure we still have a few more years until we can all watch Homeland and Game of Thrones, I figure The Muppets is a good enough place to start.

Heroes Reborn (NBC)

Premieres: Thursday, September 24^th at 8/7c
Season 1 of Heroes was fantastic. When Season 2 arrived, my husband and I fought so much over whether it still deserved a place on our DVR that we almost needed couples counseling. Is our marriage strong enough for Heroes Reborn? If anyone can save our marriage, it's Zachary Levi.

Scream Queens (FOX)

Premieres: Tuesday, September 22^nd at 8/7c
Ryan Murphy’s comedy-horror series about a sorority forced to open its doors to all students. Even Lea Michele. Then people start to die. Jamie Lee Curtis also stars.

The Grinder (FOX)
Premieres: Tuesday, September 29^th at 8:30/7:30c
Rob Lowe was so freakin’ funny on Parks and Recreation that I have high hopes for this new comedy about an actor playing a lawyer on TV who decides to join his family’s law firm. Plus, I kind of love the idea of pairing him with Fred Savage as his brother. No one liked Wayne Arnold much, anyway.

SuperGirl (CBS)

Premieres: Monday, October 26^th at 8:30/7:30c
Based on the DC Comics character Kara Zor-El, this action-drama follows the adventures of Superman’s cousin (played by Melissa Benoist) who decides to embrace her superpowers after 12 years of keeping them a secret. I’m guessing her life becomes a little more complicated after that.

The Catch (ABC)

Premiere date TBD
A thriller about a fraud investigator who has the tables turned on her by her very own adorable fiancé. This is brought to your television by Shondaland so we are all obligated to watch whether we want to or not.

After you go set your DVR's, follow mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter.

AN OPEN LETTER TO TELEVISION EXECUTIVES

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 18:17:00 +0000

As a parent, I’m often disappointed with the lack of shows that we can all watch together as a family. Might I suggest putting together a few “Special Event Crossover” episodes that combine my favorites with those of my children? The following are some suggestions to get you started.

The Max and Ruby Theory

Four highly intelligent scientists sit around an apartment eating takeout, trying to figure out what the deal is with Ruby. The show lasts for a record ten seasons because no one gets anywhere.

Dora’s Scandal

Dora lands a coveted job exploring the problems of the White House. Once her Backpack gets security clearance, she meets with Cyrus and the President in the Oval Office daily to discuss B6-13, a covert operation run by a man named Swiper. Once in a while, the First Lady and Diego try to meddle in their business.

The Real Housewives of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Minnie Mouse is happily the OG of the MMC; that is until Daisy starts trying to take control and work her way to the top of the social hierarchy of the clubhouse. When Daisy throws a party for Mickey and “forgets” to invite Minnie, Andy Cohen is called in to save the day.

Doc McStuffin’s Anatomy

Doc is a no nonsense toy doctor who starts a prestigious internship at the Doc Mobile Hospital in Seattle. Even distractions from McChilly and McStuffy can’t deter Doc from saving every doll in sight. And when trouble strikes, she turns to her Person, Lambie.

Breaking Team Umizoomi

Team Umizoomi is in over their heads when they become friends with some not so nice Bots. Also look out for the critically acclaimed spinoff: Better Call Milli.

Sesame Girls

Four friends try to navigate life in their twenties while also struggling to make rent living on the hip Sesame Street. It doesn’t take long for Hannah to realize the only person who really understands what she’s going through is Oscar the Grouch.

Curb Your Daniel Tiger

A curmudgeonly man keeps getting into trouble with his neighbors after constantly taking his tiger for walks without curbing him. Hilarity ensues.

Game of Wonder Pets

Linny, Tuck and Ming-Ming fight for control of the preschool classroom that they live in. In the end, only one can survive. And it’s not going to be Ming Ming.

Follow mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter.

FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THE POTTY

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Fri, 05 Jun 2015 16:55:00 +0000

The potty seat’s in place, so’s the step stool

I wonder when you’ll realize peeing in your pants is not cool

Who knew we’d need eight thousand Mickey pull-ups?

For months I’ve tried to get you to sit right there

Why even have a bathroom, it’s just not fair

Why won’t you just wear your underwear?

There’ll be actual pee-pee in the potty

It’ll be totally strange

But wow, am I so ready for this change!

‘Cause for the first time in forever

Without pull-ups you’ll be all right

For the first time in forever

We won’t need to buy those pricey diapers for the night

Don’t know if you’re elated or just gassy

But if it’s the latter, please don’t make me guess

‘Cause for the first time in forever

I don’t want to clean up from your mess

I suddenly see you sitting there

A beautiful vision, don’t go anywhere

Here, I’ll stuff some chocolate in your face

For the first time in forever

We won't drag around that heavy diaper bag

For the first time in forever

Your pants won't have an unsightly sag

And I know it is totally crazy

To dream this would happen in just one day

But for the first time in forever

Please just listen to what I say

I can't start all over again tomorrow

So it has to be today

'Cause for the first time in forever

For the first time in forever

Just freakin' listen to what I have to say

ZOO KEEPERS

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Thu, 19 Mar 2015 17:45:00 +0000

As the mom of a toddler, I think I have a pretty good sense of what it feels like to be a zoo keeper. Actually, sometimes I fantasize about how much easier life would be if I just worked at an actual zoo. Let me explain…

Dressing a toddler each morning feels like you’ve been tasked with dressing a crab, forced to get a sock over each of his 10 legs without him scampering away. And the crab keeps taking the socks off as you put another on so eventually you just give up and sneak the socks on at breakfast while he is being distracted with French toast sticks and syrup. Finally, the crab looks down and realizes you didn’t put Mickey socks on him and you have to go through the entire process again.

Working with a toddler who is potty training feels like working in a barn, having to clean up after the animals. Except in addition to cleaning you also have to constantly bribe the horses and cows with M&M’s just to get them to sit on the potty and hear them insist they just don’t have to go. And then you have to inevitably clean up the stall a mere moments later after the barn animals have pooped their pants while standing there coyly smiling at you, still chewing on their M&M’s.

Helping a toddler into the car each morning feels like you’ve been told to guide an elephant into a car. But this elephant wants to wear rain boots instead of sneakers and keeps running away from you until you just have to carry him out of the house and pray he’ll let you put his sneakers on in the car. And once you get the sneakers on, the elephant insists on strapping himself and starts getting frustrated when he can’t do it so starts kicking and flailing around when you try to help. Oh, and the elephant has an older brother who has only four minutes to get to school before he has to sign in late with the office.

Meal time feels like you’ve been tasked with feeding a rabbit to eat. But instead of eating only carrots, they prefer to gnaw on chocolate, and when you insist they have to eat a sandwich first they spend the next twenty minutes jumping around on all the furniture. Finally, you come to a mutual agreement that the rabbit will eat the sandwich if he gets to make it himself, but as you hand him his little yellow Gerber knife to spread the peanut butter, he insists he will only use the blue one, which is dirty in the kitchen sink.

Bath time feels like you’ve been solicited to give a whale a bath, because how could that much water end up splashed on to the floor from just one little child? And the whale insists on putting more soap on his hair as soon as you’ve rinsed it off. And wants to be washed with a blue washcloth. Only blue. And the whale refuses to get out of the tub, even after all the water has gone down and you’ve begged and pleaded with the whale that it’s not a particularly smart idea for him to just lie in an empty, cold tub with no water.

Getting a toddler to bed feels like you’ve been asked to get a school of fish into bed. Fish that need more water than any other fish you have ever encountered in your whole life. Fish that are drowning in the huge pile of stuffed animals they demand be left in bed with them.

You can follow mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter.

AND THE 2015 AWARDS GO TO…

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Fri, 20 Feb 2015 02:15:00 +0000

Awards season is upon us, which means it’s also time for me to compile a list of a few of my favorite things for parents. If you’re craving more lists of my favorite things, be sure to check out my favorite children’s museums and best gifts to give to new parents.

BEST AMUSEMENT PARK FOR YOUNG FAMILIES: DUTCH WONDERLAND

Located in Lancaster, PA, Dutch Wonderland is a family-friendly amusement park that caters to families with young children. There are over 30 rides (many of which my two-year-old was able to enjoy), Duke’s Lagoon water play area, and some impressive shows that you can attend throughout the day. Finish off the day with dinner at a local PA Dutch Dining Smorgasbord like Miller’s. Extend your trip and visit Hershey Park and Amish Country, both nearby. Tip: Check out the website during the summer season to find out if you can visit the park for a FREE preview the night before you visit the park for a full day.

BEST BOARD GAME: MONOPOLY JUNIOR

This is basically a faster paced version of the classic Monopoly game, and a great way to get kids ages 5+ to work on their budding reading comprehension and math skills. It's also a good way to start teaching your little ones the value of a dollar (something you can remind them about the next time you’re in the toy store).

BEST BOOK FOR PRESCHOOLER: THE PIGEON NEEDS A BATH

Mo Willems’ books always bring smiles to my boys’ faces, and this one is no exception. And if you’re going to be asked to read something five times in a row before bedtime, it might as well be something that brings a smile to your face too.

BEST IPAD GAME: OSMO

The website says it’s geared to ages 6+ but my two-year-old and five-year-old both love playing these fun and educational games that promote the development of problem-solving skills and creative thinking. I would especially recommend it to parents whose children are in the early stages of reading.

BEST DESSERT: TATE’S COOKIES

I used to think soft-baked chocolate chip cookies were the crème de la crème, but after sampling Tate’s Cookies it was love at first bite. Originating from a small shop in Long Island, the cookies can now be found in your local grocery store. Buttery, crispy, and not overly sweet, it’s really difficult to stop at just one. Other flavors include White Chocolate Macadamia, Oatmeal Raisin and Butterscotch Pecan.

BEST PICTURE: BOYHOOD

It was nominated for an Academy Award, but I’m certain that Richard Linklater is even more excited to make it on to my list of favorite things. A film about the life of a boy from ages 6-18, Linklater reunited his stellar cast every year for twelve years, allowing the audience to watch his star grow up right in front of their eyes. For those of us who don’t have much spare time (aka ALL of us), keep in mind this movie is over 2 ½ hours long, so perhaps carve out a couple of nights in a row to watch it. While I think there are many wonderful lessons to be taken from this movie, its R rating makes this a recommendation for parents, not their kids.

BEST SNACK: SNAPEA CRISPS

It’s basically like eating a vegetable, right?! Well, maybe it’s not quite as healthy as eating homemade kale chips, but these are still a better alternative to potato chips and frankly I prefer them anyway.

BEST TOY: FOOTBALL GUYS

My five-year-old received this as a gift and it quickly became one of his favorite toys. While football captures my attention for all of 30 seconds, this seems to keep him occupied for a good chunk of time. And I appreciate any toy that comes with its own handy storage container. Choose from Football, Baseball, Soccer and Hockey Guys.

What makes it onto your favorites list?

Remember to follow your FAVORITE BLOG on Facebook and Twitter.

Fun at the Museum

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 02:51:00 +0000

Winter is officially here and parents everywhere are in search of indoor activities to keep the kids entertained. Here’s a list of some of my favorite museums across the country that are guaranteed to keep your kids entertained for hours.

Boston Children’s Museum

You know you’re going to have fun as soon as you walk into this museum and spot the giant three-story climbing structure in the center of the ground floor lobby. The museum stresses the importance of The Power of Play, and there's no shortage of activities to help put this theory into practice. There are numerous cultural exhibits, Johnny’s Workbench, KidStage, Art Studio, Peep’s World and much more.

Carnegie Science Center (Pittsburgh)

There are plenty of exhibits to keep kids occupied here, including Roboworld, the USS Requin Submarine, an Exploration Station and a Miniature Railroad and Village. But one that stand out among them all is Sports Works. Learn about physics by becoming a human yo-yo, launch yourself into the air in a bungee-harnessed trampoline and compare your running time to an Olympian's. Kids and adults alike are guaranteed to leave this place smiling.

Exploratorium (San Francisco)

No visit to San Francisco with kids is complete without a trip to this impressive science museum. Now located on Pier 15 in the Embarcadero, this is a wonderful place to explore tons of hands-on exhibits both inside and outside the museum walls.

Liberty Science Center (Jersey City)

There is always something fun going on at the Liberty Science Center. Try out the new Infinity Climber, crawl through the pitch-black Touch Tunnel, dodge a sneeze from the giant Blue Nose or take the outdoor Wildlife Challenge (seasonal).

Marbles Kids Museum (Raleigh)

Exhibits include Kid Grid (an interactive technology exhibit), Moneypalooza, and STEMosphere. No child should leave without visiting the popular Splash room, where kids explore the power and fun of water through various unique experiences.

Museum of Mathematics (New York)

Everyone knows that New York City is home to some amazing museums, but a new standout is the Museum of Mathematics, where math is made fun through various exhibits, galleries and programs. The exhibits are for kids and adults of all ages with an emphasis on activities for 4th-8^th graders.

What’s your favorite children’s museum?

Don't forget to follow mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter.

An Open Letter to Melissa Rivers

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Sat, 11 Oct 2014 20:43:00 +0000

Dear Melissa,

It’s been over a month since your mom passed away, and I still miss her. I miss watching celebrity guests appear on Fashion Police, the same ones Joan had just mercilessly teased a week earlier, now sitting next to her trying to catch their breath from laughing so hard. I miss watching guests coming out of her closet on In Bed with Joan, getting cozy and sharing life stories on her floral comforter. Most of all, I miss watching the two of you bickering and mocking one another, supporting each other and just plain driving each other crazy, on Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best. Her fierce loyalty and devotion to you and your son was apparent in every scene. And watching your mom drive you crazy felt like home to me.

We’ve never met, but you and your mom have served as inspirations to me. Your mom never minced words about the painful things she had been through in her lifetime. But she survived. And she not only survived, she lived. Through it all, she was unfalteringly unapologetic, honest and real.

About one year ago, I lost my mom suddenly too. My mom was a little like your mom. She never appeared on Carson, never hosted her own show, and never even had the opportunity to get into bed with Ray J. But like your mom, she used humor to battle the difficult times in her life. My mom’s greatest life lesson to me was to laugh in the face of pain. She wasn’t always great at following her own advice, but she always got me to laugh at my own mishegas. And I think that at the core of your mom’s humor, and what made everyone love her so damn much, was that she made fun of herself more than anyone else. As Joan once said, “Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century”.

When you lose a parent, you want the whole world to stop and acknowledge it. And when Joan Rivers passed away, it felt like the whole world did stop for a moment. Your mom was a comedic treasure. A groundbreaking legend. But she was also a walking reminder to everyone who has gone through unrelenting hardships that you need to just keep going. For your family, your friends, your colleagues. For yourself.

Melissa, you are also an inspiration. I loved seeing you on television a couple of weeks ago honoring your mother on Fashion Police. Before I lost my own mom, I probably would have assumed that everyone needs to stay in bed crying for months, waiting for time to heal them and then finally face the world once more. But that’s not really how it works, is it? There is no timetable for when you will finally heal from your grief. The scary truth that I must accept is that I probably never will. I think your mom would agree and that’s why she lived her life to the fullest and simply laughed alongside the pain. Laughed at the pain. As your mom said, “I think anyone who’s perfectly happy isn’t particularly funny.”

Grief is a tricky thing to manage. For me, almost a year after losing my mom, it is always there, lurking behind every moment of every day. But something I learned from your mom is that pain and laughter can co-exist. It’s ok to laugh. No apologies.

You can follow mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter.

FALLING FOR T.V. Fall 2014 Must Watch List

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Sun, 31 Aug 2014 20:05:00 +0000

While there are certainly a few shows I’m excited about this fall, a few of them seem like imitations of themselves. Debra Messing plays a NYPD homicide detective who juggles her duties at work with a messy family life. Tea Leoni balances achieving world peace as the Secretary of State with handling her duties at home as a mother. Katherine Heigl splits her time between her work for the CIA and solving a murder mystery with a personal agenda. Kate Walsh plays a criminal court judge who must balance….well, you get the idea. However, there are also some noteworthy offerings on television this fall. Below are seven highlights from the new fall season that will ensure you don’t waste precious DVR space.

UTOPIA

Premieres: Sunday, September 7 at 8/7c on Fox
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3fu7j02Mks
I haven’t come across too many unique concepts for reality shows in recent years, but this one definitely changes things up a bit. 15 contestants spend one whole year in semi-isolation together in the wilderness with the goal of building a new society with their own set of rules. Issues of religion and politics are sure to come up, along with why anyone would sign up for this show. I’m totally watching.

BLACK-ISH

Premieres: Wednesday, September 24 at 9/8c on ABC
http://abc.go.com/shows/blackish
Anthony Anderson created and stars in this sitcom about a father of four who feels his children lack a strong racial identity. For example, his son Andre wants to go by the name Andy, wants to play field hockey, and requests for his parents to throw him a bar-mitzvah. Laurence Fishburne plays the grandfather. Black-ish will follow Modern Family on Wednesday night. Seems like a funny way to spend an hour.

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER
Premieres: Thursday, September 25 at 10/9c on ABC
http://abc.go.com/shows/how-to-get-away-with-murder
Yet another sudsy show from Shonda “I own Thursday night” Rhimes. This legal thriller is headed by Viola Davis, which ensures some built-in classiness. Davis plays a law school professor whose students get tangled up in real life murder plot outside of the classroom. Admittedly, I stopped watching Grey’s Anatomy years ago, and I am one of the few out there who has never seen even one episode of Scandal, but I did watch another Shonda Rhimes show religiously which will remain nameless for the sake of you taking any of my television recommendations seriously.

A TO Z
Premieres: Thursday, October 2 at 9/8c on NBC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FKlRDYy_7o

The Mother is alive! Cristin Milioti is given a second chance at love, this time with Ben Feldman. The romantic comedy will chronicle the ups and downs of their relationship from start to finish. The last time we saw Ben Feldman he was cutting off a nipple on Mad Men, but I still think that decision makes more sense than having Ted Mosby end up with Robin, so maybe Cristin Milioti finally has a real shot at a happy ending.

THE AFFAIR
Premieres: Sunday, October 12at 10/9c on Showtime
http://www.sho.com/sho/the-affair/home
The Affair delves into the messy consequences of marital infidelity from both the male and female perspectives. The show stars Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson. I may watch just to find out why anyone in their right mind would ever cheat on the adorable Joshua Jackson.

GOTHAM
Premieres: Monday, September 22 at 8/7c on FOX
http://www.fox.com/watch/251680835515

While poor Pacey is becoming a cuckold on The Affair, Ryan Atwood (aka Benjamin McKensie) gets to play Jim Gordon, Gotham City’s police commissioner. Gordon’s life becomes more complicated when he begins to investigate the murder of Bruce Wayne’s (David Mazouz) parents. Gotham is going to focus not only on Jim Gordon, but also on the origin stories of the Penguin, Catwoman, Poison Ivy and the Riddler.

MARRY ME
Premieres: Tuesday, October 14 at 9/8c on NBC
http://www.nbc.com/marry-me/video/marry-me-official-trailer/2781078

If you miss Happy Endings as much as I do, get excited for this new romantic comedy from writer David Caspe which stars Casey Wilson and Ken Marino as a couple whose relationship is such a mess that they can’t even get the marriage proposal right. From watching the preview, I feel like this is just Wilson playing Penny in a new sitcom, which is just fine by me.

Be sure to catch more of my television wisdom by following me on Facebook and Twitter.

iErased

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Sat, 26 Jul 2014 19:23:00 +0000

On Saturday morning, my husband was out getting a haircut and I (for a change) was attempting to enjoy my breakfast with limited disruptions. After rising from the table about three different times to refill juice cups, carry in bowls of berries for the kids and finally to wipe up the inevitable berry and juice spills, I was determined to spoil myself with three minutes of uninterrupted time with my coffee mug. I was so determined that I gave a two-year-old my phone.

Big mistake.

A few minutes later I panicked when I noticed that a precious video I had taken earlier in the week of my two boys in music class had been erased. This video made me happy, and now it had disappeared. After working for a couple of hours to try and retrieve it, my husband somberly reported back to me that the video had somehow not backed up and was gone.

At hearing this news, I immediately plummeted myself into the various stages of grief. I told my husband there was no way this could possibly be true. Call Apple! Call the President! Then anger. How could I have been so stupid as to have given my cell phone to a toddler?! I haven’t finished a cup of coffee in over five years, why did I have to attempt the impossible this morning!? After shedding a few tears (and asking if we could call the President one more time) I was finally willing to begin the process of accepting my loss.

If we’re all being honest, none of us has the time to sit and watch these videos and pictures that pile up on our phones. Most of them will probably never be viewed again. And yet in recent months these snapshots of life's little moments have become increasingly significant to me. I’m sure this is partly due to having recently lost my mom. She was the queen of taking cell phone pictures, and on her train ride home she would diligently text me a crazy amount of them from our day together. Of course, every one of these captured memories holds a significance I could never have imagined before she died.

The rational side of me (yes, it sometimes makes a cameo) knows that while I may have lost this 53 second video from music class, I did not lose the moment. I did not lose the memory. After “the incident” my five-year-old could see that I was visibly upset and tried to come to my rescue and console me.

“Mommy, I have a great idea. Why don’t we ask our teacher next week if we can sing the song again the exact same way, and then we can record it all over again.”

I smiled at my son’s sweet offer. I was saddened with the knowledge that moments are fleeting, and we can never get them back in the exact same way ever again. But I had also been reminded of something important. There will always be another song to sing.

ARE WE THERE YET?!

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 20:40:00 +0000

“Life is a journey, not a destination.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

What a lovely sentiment. We waste so much valuable time focusing on achievements and end points, while what we should be doing is savoring the countless precious moments that transpire before we even reach our destinations.

A lovely sentiment, indeed. Except to anyone with a toddler. To all of us worn-out and weary parents, I say it’s okay to just want to get to our destinations already.

At our house, we start off our journey each morning with pretty much the same routine. Grievances expressed regarding cereal choices. Squabbles over how many toys are allowed to be dragged into the car. (Am I a bad mother for limiting the count to seven?) Desperate pleas from my two-year-old who wants to strap himself into his own car seat. Sure, why not? It only takes you 29 minutes and all we have to do is get your older brother to school in under four minutes. And we only wasted seven minutes just now trying to explain why you and your five-year-old brother cannot switch car seats.

These daily morning battles can wear us down, but since this ain’t my first time at the rodeo, I know that this too shall pass. Somehow, these mind numbing and endless struggles we endure from toddlers to simply get from Point A to Point B are more or less forgotten over time, and we are just left with the memories from when we got to where we wanted to go.

When Big Bro was a mere 15-months-old my husband and I decided to take him with us to Ireland for our friends’ wedding. And then we bravely decided that since neither of us had been to London, we would stop there for a few days first. Here’s the thing: I know that there were plenty of very tough travel moments. Like when we realized that the car seat we were lugging around with us didn’t fit in the seats on the international flight. Or when our little guy just didn’t seem to get the hint about what you were supposed to be doing on a red-eye flight. Or when the mother sitting in the row behind me decided she would allow her three little kids to sleep under my seat. (Thankfully, the flight attendant put an end to that brilliant plan pretty quickly.)

And yet somehow when I think back on that trip, these little aggravations aren't the first things that pop into my head. All I remember are fun times on the London Eye, good food, great friends and a few pints of Guinness.

So to all those parents who are just trying to make it through the day, or through the next hour, or simply trying to make it to their cars in the morning without having nervous breakdowns, just keep in mind that while the journey of parenthood can be tough at times, the destination is almost always worth it.

Feel free to follow Mom-fiction on Facebook or Twitter.

A Mother's Day

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Fri, 18 Apr 2014 20:02:00 +0000

As the month of May quickly approaches and I walk through the card aisle in the drugstore I can already guess what people will be saying, or at least thinking.

Mother’s Day is going to be so difficult for you.

Well, yes, of course. And no, not really.

Mother’s Day will be painful not because I cannot hand deliver flowers and a card to my mom, but simply because it is another Sunday without my mom here with us. Another day I cannot share a joke or grumble that she is talking way too loud or watch her frantically hail down the ice cream truck with the kids. Another day that I cannot show off my new duvet cover and ask if she thinks that it brightens up the room. A trivial subject matter, but something she would have wanted to share her opinions about.

There are times that I am so overwhelmed that my mom is no longer here with me that I can barely catch my breath. Then there are moments when I have to remind myself that she is gone. I arrive home to a blinking light on my machine and my first thought is that it’s her. I leave a doctor’s appointment with my kids and I instinctively pick up my phone to deliver a detailed report. I drive by the train station where I would pick her up and for a brief moment I am compelled to stop the car and wait for her. The image of her clumsily climbing off the train and insisting that the conductor wave to her grandsons is so ingrained in my head that it feels like it is happening at that very moment.

Often during her visits she would insist on being driven to TJ Maxx or Michael’s or some other store where she would proceed to buy a few tchotchkes for her grandchildren. Sometimes I would smile at the cute purchases; other times I would bemoan the lack of space to store these random items. Now I am just so grateful that we have these little items all over the house to remember her by. A small statue of a boy playing baseball. Puppets in the shapes of vegetables. The easy button from Staples. A Thomas alarm clock. An abundance of garbage trucks and dump trucks and race cars. A stationery box for my son where she inscribed the words, “A special box for all the special things you will collect in your lifetime. You will need many more boxes.”

On this Mother’s Day, like every other day since my mom’s passing, I will take deep breaths, shed a few tears and hopefully laugh a little. And I will try my best to resist hiding under my bright white duvet cover.

AND THE AWARD GOES TO…

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 03:30:00 +0000

In honor of this year’s awards season, I have compiled a list of some unconventional but indispensable gift ideas for new parents. Newborn layettes, wipes warmers, bassinets and jumbo toys are nice, but if you want your gift to be something a new parent simply cannot live without, the following items will not disappoint.

First-time parents tend to be a bit anxious when trying to decipher whether their baby is sick, teething or simply a little fussy. I’ve found that the quick and easy-to-use Exergen Temporal Scanner can be a lifesaver. Some say it’s not quite as accurate as other methods, but it’s certainly a good starting point for figuring out if there is any immediate cause for concern.

The one item that no new parent can ever have too many of is diapers, so why not make sure they’re stocked up! Take a trip to a big box store like Costco or BJ’s, buy one or two big boxes of diapers, stick a bow on top and you’ve got yourself the most useful gift any parent could ever ask for. Tip: Do a little research first and find out what brand and size diapers they use.

What is the one thing new parents always have too little of? Sleep! Why not put together a sleep-themed basket filled with goodies that will help infants get a little more shut-eye. My children never stayed swaddled in a receiving blanket for more than ten minutes, so I always relied on Halo Sleepsacks to keep them snuggly and warm. Sound machines are a great way to let the baby know that it’s time to settle down. Add a personalized blanket, a little stuffed animal or a cute crib sheet and you’re good to go. Tip: Make sure the stuffed animal is machine washable.

When mealtime consists of breast milk or formula, it’s hard to imagine needing much more than a burp cloth and a tiny bib to keep things neat and tidy. Yet eventually the day will arrive when mealtimes become so messy that some parents might consider moving as an alternative to cleaning up. If you know a new parent who doesn’t own a Dustbuster, hurry and buy one for them before the Cheerios hit the fan.

Clothing is always welcomed, but if you really want your gift to be remembered, buy something sized 12 months or up. I found that my first child was very well-dressed up until about nine months, until one day I looked in the closet and realized he didn’t have a thing to wear! A tip I learned from my mom: always avoid buying newborn-sized clothes, most outgrow them in about five minutes!

Baby gifts are always appreciated, but it never hurts to also bring a little something special for the exhausted new parents. Treat the new mom to a pedicure or provide the couple with movie tickets to give them an incentive to spend one night out of the house. While you’re at it, offer to babysit for an afternoon while the baby is napping to allow them to get out and run a few quick errands or even simply grab a cup of coffee in peace. You would be surprised at what two hours out of the house can do to refresh frazzled new parents.

What is the one gift that you would recommend for a new parent?

Don’t forget to visit me on Facebook and Twitter!

REAL HOUSEWIVES ARE JUST LIKE TODDLERS

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 03:07:00 +0000

This post is dedicated to my mom, my favorite person to laugh with and my favorite person to watch the Real Housewives with.

Here is my list of the top ten ways the Real Housewives are just like toddlers:

1. Lisa refuses to wear anything but pink.

2. Ramona needs to bring a bottle with her wherever she goes to ensure that she always has something to drink.

3. Carlton has a “playroom” in her house.

4. LuAnn is constantly telling everyone that she is royalty.

5. Yolanda refuses to have anything but juice at every meal.

6. Teresa tends to throw food and flip tables when she doesn’t get her way.

7. Jill needs to work on using her “inside voice”.

8. Brandi doesn’t see anything wrong with someone peeing by the side of a pool at a party.

9. Kim Z. hates it when her parents show up at her events.

10. Everyone is always chauffeured around to wherever they need to go.

Which Real Housewife do you think is most like a toddler?

Don't forget to like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter!

BAGELS AND CREAM CHEESE

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Fri, 06 Dec 2013 16:56:00 +0000

I arrived at my parents’ apartment at 9:00am that Saturday morning. I rang the bell and immediately heard the poodle’s bark. My mom opened the door and grabbed the bag of bagels from me. She asked if I brought any surprise treats for her.

I brought you an almond horn. I know it’s your favorite.

My mom casually thanked me and inquired if I had brought her any cookies in addition to the almond horn. I sighed and got to work setting the table and slicing bagels. I put the vegetable cream cheese out and my dad comes out to greet me with coffee.

No lox?

Of course I brought lox, Mom. I know how much you love it.

My parents and I sit down and the poodle assumes her spot under the table waiting for someone to accidentally drop some food. I sneak her little bites of my bagel which she quickly scoops up. I remind my mom that I don’t have much time because I don’t want to be late for my haircut. She informs me that I get too many haircuts.

I really don’t need you to lecture me every single time I schedule a haircut.

My mom smiles her signature toothy grin and proceeds with another lecture. She tells me that once in a while it wouldn’t hurt to listen to my mother. After all, she has been around a while and has learned a few things along the way.

We eat and we talk and as usual there is not a single moment of silence between us. We discuss plotlines from the show Parenthood. We talk about parenthood. About her two little grandkids who love her to pieces. I tell her about teacher conferences, gym classes, blog posts and upcoming holiday shows. She asks me what book she should read next and I tell her that she would like the new Delia Ephron book. She asks me what to get for her Secret Hanukkah person this year. I ask her who she has, and she says she has me.

Finally, even the almond horn is gone.

I really have to go. I don’t want to be late for my haircut.

I say goodbye and shut the door.

Except that I never had the chance to say goodbye. I never got to have that breakfast with my mom. She was already at the hospital that morning. I had been in the hospital room with her all night but never said goodbye because I didn’t think I had to. Not then.

She died that Saturday afternoon. When she passed away I was at her house. Feeding the poodle.

There are so many things I still have to tell her. There was never any silence between us. Now it is painfully quiet. I just want one more chance to tell her everything.

Your four-year-old grandson talks to Clifford when he has something to say to you. He is taking good care of him just like you asked him to.

Your one-year-old grandson seems to only want to play with the toys you got him. It’s like he’s playing with you. Are you there playing with him?

I should have brought you breakfast on Friday morning.

I love you, Mom.

You can follow Mom-fiction on Facebook and Twitter.

CARTOON TWEETS OF THE WEEK

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 01:35:00 +0000

Why doesn’t anyone ever dress up as me for #Halloween? #CaillouCravesAttention

But seriously, where the heck are my parents? #IsRubyMyMother?

How does #Obamacare affect my practice? #DocMcStuffinsGetsPolitical

Is #Sofia’s castle anywhere near mine? #MiketheKnightIsBored

Why do I have to climb over rocks, cross bridges, jump over muddy rivers and run through forests every freakin time I go out to play, but the Backyardigans never even have to leave their backyard? #DoraNeedsABreak

Does anyone happen to know Lisa Simpson’s phone number? #SidWantsAGirlfriend

MOM-MEH

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 19:15:00 +0000

Inspired by The New York Times Magazine's weekly Meh List, I decided I would put together my own Mom-meh List. Here are the ten things that I deem to be "meh" this week:

Spending $100 on a video that teaches your baby how to read

Coasters with family pictures

Pretzel goldfish

Designer diapers

Lalaloopsy

Pumpkin seeds

Winter crocs

Planes

Baby wipe warmers

Build-a-Bear

What would be on your Mom-meh List?

Don't forget to 'Like' me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter!

HOMEWORK

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Fri, 27 Sep 2013 02:30:00 +0000

I’ve been out of school for a few years now, but every so often I still have THE DREAM. I arrive at school and suddenly realize that I haven’t studied for the big test that has somehow completely slipped my mind. All these years after graduating, why am I still having nightmares about homework and test taking?! Recently it hit me: Parents have homework too.

Case in point: my math skills were put to the test when my son came home from school with a slip for ordering school pictures. The task seemed simple enough. After all, I only wanted to order a couple of pictures for us and the grandparents. Then I noticed that you could not purchase anything a la carte without getting one of the packages. And somehow none of the packages included what I wanted. And with each price increase it seemed as if all I would be getting were more wallet-sized photos. (Meanwhile, the last time I saw someone pull out a wallet-sized photo was around the same time I purchased my trusty StarTAC phone). I had to do some quick calculations to figure out which package would be the best bang for my buck. The cheapest option only got me a couple of the pictures I wanted, plus eight wallet sized photos. Did it make sense to order more a la carte, or should I just purchase the more expensive package that came with a lot more photos that I really didn’t need? After putting my limited math skills to the test I think I may have accidentally ended up purchasing one 5x7 and 79 wallet sized photos for $299. But the photo package also came with a brand new StarTAC phone, so everyone was a winner.

As a parent you are also constantly quizzed on creativity. Throughout the year these tests present themselves in various forms, such as during birthdays when you have to bring in a fabulous snack for school, plan the ultimate party and find the perfect present. They also pop up during holidays such as Valentine’s Day when you must prepare cute little Valentine’s for all of your child’s classmates. But the final exam is definitely Halloween. Forget about creepy ghosts and goblins, if you really want to be scared out of your mind try putting together a unique homemade costume for your child(ren) every single year. Extra bonus points if you come up with a family theme. A++ for finding a hat that will stay on your child for the duration of trick-or-treating. (Let me save you some time. This hat does not exist). Thankfully, I have already had an honest conversation with myself and admitted that I will never be the mom who whips together the amazing Halloween costume from a few random things that happen to be lying around the house. So the pressure is off (a little).

Another challenge that parents face is proper nutrition for their children. It doesn’t help that there is an obscene amount of literature available online about every single thing that can harm your child if ingested. Most of these articles close with, “While there is no conclusive evidence that this will harm your child, there is also no evidence that this won’t harm your child.” Perfect! Meanwhile, for the first time this year I have to pack a snack every day for my son to take to school. Before school started I dutifully headed to the supermarket to stock up on some goodies. On his first day, I sent my little man off to school with a few organic carrot sticks and a mini bag of pretzels shaped like Planes (Dusty, his favorite!) I felt proud all morning knowing that my son had been sent off with a snack that was the perfect mix of wholesome goodness and timely playfulness. Then at school pick-up my son informed me that I had forgotten to pack a drink. I gently reminded him about the adorable pretzels shaped like planes and he not so gently reminded me that he really could have used a few sips of water that morning. Fail.

Finally, let’s not forget all of the physical education we have to endure as parents of young children. I spend my days schlepping around a heavy car seat, throwing overflowing diaper bags over my weary shoulders and lugging a hefty double stroller in and out of my car trunk. My one-year-old spends his mornings demanding to be lifted up, then put down, then up again…finally I put him down for a nap and my four-year old decides he wants to play basketball, baseball, volleyball and tag, in that order. I always knew that parenthood would test my emotions, but no one prepares you for how physically demanding it will be. Seriously, why aren’t the pounds just falling off of me?! (No, seriously, why?!?!?)

What homework does your child bring home for you? Do you usually pass or fail?

Your homework for the day: follow me on Twitter and 'like' me on Facebook.

PARENTING 102

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Sat, 07 Sep 2013 16:42:00 +0000

New parents receive a lot of conflicting advice on how to best care for their children. We all know what to expect when we’re expecting, but what about after that? Thankfully, mom-fiction is here with solutions for your most pressing parenting questions.

HOW TO GET YOUR INFANT TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT

It takes a modicum of mental strength but with enough practice anyone can master this method. Little ones crave routine, so establish one early on. After the nighttime feeding, turn on soft music and switch on a nightlight to indicate to the baby that it’s time to settle down. If your infant is still young enough, swaddle. Quietly close the door and head downstairs. Sit on the living room couch. Do not attempt to eat dinner. Stay away from books, magazines, newspapers, work, etc. Do not call ANYONE. If you move even a muscle, your baby will sense that you are trying to accomplish something and will begin to stir. If you can master sleeping while sitting up on the couch you’ve got it made.

HOW TO GET YOUR TODDLER TO EAT

This one is a little simpler. Put your plate of dinner in front of your child. As per usual, the child will refuse to eat anything on the plate. Proceed to the kitchen and retrieve their plate and bring it to the table, placing it in front of you. Attempt to take a bite from this plate. Your toddler will begin to plea, nay beg, for whatever is in front of you. At first, refuse to give them anything off this plate. After a couple of minutes, finally agree to switch plates. N.B. This method works even if you have identical meals.

HOW TO GET YOUR PRESCHOOLERS TO CLEAN UP THEIR TOYS

Announce that you are about to do some chores and that you don’t want any help. Your child will immediately start following you around the house and demand to help with whatever you are doing. This is when you start putting away their cars and crayons.

POTTY TRAINING

There really is no easy way to potty train your child so your best bet is to focus on taking preventative measures to ensure that clean-up is a breeze. This means that you should rip up every single rug in your house (don’t forget the bath rug!) and get rid of any furniture that cannot be easily wiped down. For six months, it’s probably not a good idea to go anywhere if you are going to be more than 20 seconds away from a bathroom. Also, it’s smart to have at least five backup sets of sheets.

HOW TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE AT LEAST TWO HOURS TO YOURSELF EVERYDAY

Are you crazy?!?!?!

What is the best advice for new parents? To follow me on Twitter and ‘Like’ me on Facebook.

2ND ANNUAL FALLING FOR TV

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Sat, 24 Aug 2013 21:45:00 +0000

It’s what you’ve all been desperately waiting for: my shortlist of which new television shows to watch this fall. I’ve noticed that three of my must-see shows are on CBS, and none of them are on the CW. I feel old.

Mom (CBS)
Premieres Sept. 23rd at 9:30/8:30c

Anna Faris is Christy; a newly sober, single mom of two children who moves to Napa Valley to live with her critical, estranged mom, played by Allison Janney. Christy also has to contend with a married boss/lover, a crazy co-worker and an irresponsible ex-husband. Sounds like just the right amount of dysfunction for my taste.

Hostages (CBS)

Premieres Sept. 23rd at 10/9c

Toni Collette plays a surgeon hired to operate on the President of the United States. Before she even has time to update her LinkedIn profile, Dylan McDermott shows up as a rogue FBI agent who threatens the lives of her family if she doesn’t follow his orders to kill the president.

Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (ABC)

Premieres Sept. 24th at 8/7c
The adventures of six agents who are members of a covert crime-fighting organization. Clark Gregg reprises his role as Agent Phil Coulson from a movie I’ve never seen but which apparently made a little money at the box office last year. Personally, I will be watching because Joss Whedon is awesome. Also, the creative team has collectively worked on Alias, Angel, Smallville, Dollhouse, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Lost and Heroes so this may be worth giving a shot.

The Goldbergs (ABC)

Premieres Sept. 24th at 9/8c
A comedy about a loud, smothering Jewish family set in the 80’s. You had me at loud. The Goldbergs is a semi-autobiographical show from creator Adam Goldberg. It’s being compared to The Wonder Years, which makes me feel really old because I was around Kevin’s age when that show was on, and now I’m closer to Jeff Garlin’s age. Oy vey. The comedy stars Jeff Garlin and Wendi McLendon-Covey.

The Crazy Ones (CBS)
Premieres Sept. 26th at 9/8c
I’m kind of wishing that Robin Williams had played Sarah Michelle Gellar’s father on Buffy, but I guess I’ll have to settle for this David E. Kelley sitcom about a family run advertising agency. James Wolk apparently impressed producers with his ad man character on Mad Men because he is also employed at this ad agency. The buzz is around Kelly Clarkson’s cameo in the first episode, but personally I will be watching to see if James Wolk helps to hire any nurses for Robin Williams’ mom.

The Michael J. Fox Show (NBC)

Premieres Sept. 26th at 9:30/8:30c
The preview for this show made me chuckle so I will definitely be tuning in to watch Fox playing a character based on his own experiences living with Parkinson’s. Fox will play Mike Henry, a news anchor returning to work after a five-year hiatus. This looks like just the right combination of heart and comedy.

Almost Human (FOX)
Premieres Nov. 4th at 8/9c
Set 35 years in the future when all cops are obliged to be partnered with highly evolved human-like androids. This latest sci-fi offering from J.J. Abrams doesn’t look nearly as layered as Fringe but I always like to give his shows a chance. I am admittedly unfamiliar with the male leads Karl Urban and Michael Ealy, but the female leads make up for that (Minka Kelly and Lili Taylor).

About a Boy (NBC)
Midseason; Tuesdays at 9/8c
Jason Katims (Friday Night Lights, Parenthood) is the executive producer of this remake of the 2002 film (based on the bestselling novel by Nick Hornby), so be prepared to laugh and cry at least ten times during every episode. The super cute David Walton plays the man-child who lives next door to a needy mother (played by Minnie Driver) and her precocious 11-year old son (played by Benjamin Stockham).

Us and Them (Fox)
Midseason; TBA
Let me get this straight: Rory Gilmore is now dating Jason Ritter, who dated Sarah Braverman on Parenthood, played by Lauren Graham, who played Rory’s mom on Gilmore Girls. This all seems a little incestuous but Jason Ritter and Alexis Bledel seem cute together so this may just work after all.

And please take a moment during commercial breaks to follow me on Twitter and like me on Facebook.

LABELS

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Wed, 14 Aug 2013 18:43:00 +0000

Yesterday I did something completely out of character. I registered for my very first 5K run. This might not seem like a particularly remarkable feat, but for those who know me personally this is a big deal. I believe my greatest athletic accomplishment thus far has been being named Gym Class Athlete of the Month in my high school newspaper. My lack of athleticism is a tad embarrassing since I happen to be married to an NCAA champion, but my four-year-old has been teaching me a few skills on the basketball court so I like to think of myself as a work-in-progress.

Exactly one year ago I did something else that was also completely out of character. I started this blog. I remember spending hours mulling over whether I should share my first post but eventually I just took the plunge. Initially, I cringed at the thought of sharing my thoughts. My words. I mean, at least twenty people must have read that first post! Ironically, my first blog post was about embarrassing myself when I fell off a stationary bike in my first spin class. Now, one year later, I am writing about preparing for my first race. I’m not running a marathon, but it’s still nice to think that I’ve made a little progress.

Sometimes I get a little jealous of my boys. Their days are filled with all of the various activities we have planned for them: gym classes, playdates, soccer, swim lessons, music class, etc. We are always pushing them towards new experiences, introducing them to new people and bringing them to new places where they can explore and learn. Adults don’t have it quite as easy. If we want to do something new we have to plan it ourselves, carve out time in our tight schedules, and then follow through. We all have so many daunting obligations to work, family and friends that doing something new, something for ourselves, becomes a non-priority.

I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point during the past few months I started thinking of myself as a blogger. A writer. Labels are a funny thing. When you’re younger and in school labels often just fall into your lap. You’re the class athlete, class clown, drama geek or bookworm. As an adult, I’d like to think that I have a little more control over how people perceive me and how I want to spend my time. It’s not always easy, but I’ve learned that sometimes you have to label yourself and just let life catch up to that.

Over the past year I decided to call myself a blogger. And a runner.

I’m looking forward to deciding what to call myself next.

P.S. If you want to give me a one-year blogging anniversary present, please like me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter!

LIFE’S (SOMETIMES) A BEACH

noreply@blogger.com (mom-fiction) — Wed, 31 Jul 2013 01:15:00 +0000

Last week my husband and I stuffed our car with two suitcases, a stroller, the diaper bag, the beach bag, snacks, sippy cups and a mountain of sand and water toys and headed to the beach for a few days. I can't help but think to myself that whoever came up with the expression “life’s a beach” surely has never been to the beach with a one-year-old and a four-year-old.

This thought first crossed my mind after we had all settled in with our beach chairs, towels and umbrellas. I decided to sink into my own chair with a drink and a book and got about three pages in when my husband called me over to help. Big bro was desperate to start building his sandcastle, while all little bro wanted to do was eat sand. I reluctantly put my book down and picked it up again exactly zero more times. The book sat in my beach bag taunting me alongside the four magazines that I had also brought (silly me, I had previously contemplated whether that would be enough reading material).

I realized that I probably wouldn’t be making it to the spa this vacation.

Then it started raining.

With my family huddled under umbrellas trying to stay dry, I decided it would be a good time to pick up some lunch for us. By the time I arrived back with a bag of goodies, the sun had come out again and I started to get back into vacation mode. I doled out chicken fingers, French fries, fish tacos, pulled pork sandwiches, and frozen lemonades. I sank into my chair and was about to bite into my fish taco when suddenly a seagull swarmed down right in front of my son and ripped into his chicken fingers. The seagull flew away, I recovered from my mini heart attack, and we all just sat there staring at the nibbled on chicken. I made the neurotic mommy decision that it would be too gross to let my son finish his lunch, and after much cajoling he finally agreed to share my lunch. Surprisingly, he ended up finishing a whole fish taco.

After lunch, we endeavored to get little Bro down for a nap. We were certain that the ocean air and soothing sounds of the nearby waves would lull him to sleep in a matter of minutes. Instead, we ended up spending the next half hour struggling to get him to stop squirming away from us in his quest to find more sand to ingest. I looked around at the other adults sitting nearby, lounging with drinks in hand, napping, reading or just gazing at the ocean. Feeling defeated, I turned back to my one-year-old, who was grinning at me with a mouthful of sand. I couldn’t help but grin right back. Then I looked over at his big bro who was busy at work burying his poor daddy in the sand and I couldn’t help but start giggling.

I’ve decided to change the meaning of the expression “life’s a beach”. For me, that now means that sometimes life can be hard, but it is also totally worth it. You may not be able to read your book like you planned, but you may end up helping to construct your child’s first sandcastle. It may start raining at any moment, but when the sun comes back out you appreciate it even more. You may lose a chicken finger or two along the way, but maybe your kid will end up trying something new. You may try to get your one-year-old down for a nap….yeah, there really wasn’t any silver lining to that one…

So yes. Life’s a beach. It’s messy and unpredictable and exquisite. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You can follow mom-fiction on Facebook or Twitter