Mom4Life Blog

The book that I keep telling moms about

2010-03-09T06:00:00-08:00

Last November we drove to California to visit family for Thanksgiving. Although taking a road trip with a 5 month old made me a little nervous, I was really excited about having a chance to do some reading. I love to read but it had been a very long time since I had picked up a book for "pleasure". In this stage of motherhood, time often demands that I "shelf" the pleasure books. Because I love to learn new things, I typically opt to read books that will teach me something (if I can make the time to crack one open). I had several parenting books gathering sufficient dust on my bookshelf so I grabbed one for the ride, hoped it would be good and read it aloud while my husband drove. The book happened to be Different Children, Different Needs by Charles F. Boyd and I can honestly say that it has changed my outlook on my parenting.

This book starts out by clarifying what the Bible means when it commands us to "train up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6) by explaining that the Hebrew meaning behind "the way he should go" more accurately could be described to say "according to his bent". In other words, God has created each of us with a unique bent to our personality. We will do best to understand our child's bent and parent them with that in mind. Failing to do this results in children that are raised feeling that if they could change who they are (be more assertive, more calm, more creative, more like their brother, etc) we would love/accept them more. God has created each of us with our own set of strengths, gifts, weaknesses and tendencies. This book used the popular DISC personality assessment model to helped me to not only understand the personality of my children, but to see how it is God given. It also helped Trent and I identify our personality types and understand the natural strengths and weaknesses with those personalities. Practically, this book also went into great detail providing ideas on how to tailor our parenting style to train our children according to their "bent" (even breaking down each specific parent/child personality combination). It also touched on how the differing personality types of you and your spouse can affect your marriage.

After reading this book I was able to better understand Hunter's personality (Ashlyn is still a bit too young to identify and Quinten--well ya, he is too:) and appreciate his temperament rather than try to fight or change it.

As a few examples:

-Part of Hunter's personality is to have a strong desire to lead. This can be a strength; the world needs leaders, especially good ones. Our challenge as parents is to help him recognize this God given gift and see how he can use it to help others. In addition, he needs to keep in mind that sometimes he may be tempted to lead others in a way that is inconsiderate of their desires. Knowing this about him, we can affirm his strength and help him learn how this strength can also be a weaknesses, if he is not careful. We are working to be more intentional about verbally affirming his strengths as we see them displayed. When he asks the waitress at a restaurant if he can please have more to drink we can say "Hunter, you were not worried to ask for something that you needed, that is called being assertive, good job!"

-Another aspect of Hunter's personality is his desire to do things in a systematic way. I have mentioned this in a few posts, such as the time that he wanted to run naked through the living room. Knowing how important routine is to him and how well he responds to doing things "in order" we have found ways to incorporate list making in our home. We have a list for "what do do when you get home from school", "what to do before you watch TV" and "what to do to get ready for bed". I mentioned these lists in the post "saying good night Ledeboer style" These list have worked AMAZINGLY well and it feels great finding things like this that help us to train him according to his "bent".

Since reading this book, I have mentioned this book to countless friends. Two of my friends have borrowed my copy. I asked them if they had any feedback to share on it. Here is what they said:

“Any book that helps me understand my children better is a good read. Once you figure out the personality type your child leans towards, it is fun to follow how their minds generally process things. It can be very eye opening.

It definitely helped me understand some of the frustrations in our household. Now that I understand where they are coming from (and even where I am coming from!), it makes it easier to step back and evaluate the situation correctly." Serena H.

"As a parent, I want my kids to thrive and this enlightening book has helped me learn to encourage them according to their own God-given design. I love the added benefit that these insights have also helped strengthen my marriage at the same time." Meredith M.

After reading this book, I was inspired to dust off the parenting books sitting on my bookshelf and learn some more. Each book on my "reading list" focuses on a different area of parenting. I find that it really helps me to have something specific to be learning about and working on as I parent. Being intentional is a good thing. I have made a goal to read one a month this year. I have just finished Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp which focuses on the area of discipline and how to speak to the heart of your child. It has been another excellent read!

What about you? Do you have any great parenting books (preferably by a Christan author) to recommend I add to my list?

Homemade Bread by Kristina B.

2010-03-08T06:00:00-08:00

These days just about everything we could want to eat is available pre-made in the store. That's not a bad thing, with hectic schedules being the norm rather than the exception. However, sometimes we can reap the message that certain homemade foods are either too hard to make or simply not worth the effort and store bought is the way to go.

I've started making bread. I haven't done it to replace the stuff we get at the store, but in addition to. A friend recently came to me and said, "I've always wanted to try that. Is it hard?" That's a tough question to answer because the definition of hard varies from person to person. I would say no, not hard, but it is time consuming and takes practice. The result, however, is well worth it, even if you only try it once. I fully encourage you to give it a shot. There are so many recipes available both in cookbooks and for free online.

Before you take off on your bread making adventure, here are a couple of things I've learned that can help you out:

1. Make sure you knead the dough enough. Not kneading enough can lead to flatter bread. A properly kneaded dough will be smooth and will stretch.

2. Make sure you let the bread rise enough. Generally there are two rises when you make bread. You can tell that it is done with a rise if you make a small indent with your finger and the indent stays there. Usually this is about 45 minutes to an hour for each rise, a bit longer if it is cold in your house. Also, there are a couple of different methods to letting a bread rise, such as simply letting it sit on the counter, or putting it in an oven that is off with a pan of hot water under the dough on the bottom rack. Try one way, and then another next time to find which works best for you.

3. A bread is done baking if it sounds hollow when you tap on it. Strange, I know, but true.

4. Whole wheat flour will not be as tall and fluffy as store bought bread unless you add certain conditioners to it. What conditioners and how much depends on the recipe. Personally, I don't mind my bread being a little less tall.

5. If your bread doesn't turn out as big or fluffy as you expected, don't panic. A bread that turns out a little denser is still delicious! Don't let it discourage you from trying again.

I hope you decide to give bread making a try. If nothing else, you can say that you've done it. If you do try it, I hope my tips work for you.

*A little note about the bread you see in the picture: It is from a Shaker Daily Loaf recipe that I found in an older cookbook that my mother-in-law gave to us. Instead of all-purpose flour, I used white whole wheat flour and did not add any sort of conditioners. Before I let it rise, I cut the dough down the middle and put it into two greased and floured loaf pans. I let it rise in the oven (turned off), and placed a small pot of hot water underneath it on the bottom rack, adding new hot water every now and then. I didn't punch it down, but instead tucked the ends under (first the short ends, then the long ones, and then reshaping slightly, followed by the second rise). Didn't follow all that? No big deal. Best to follow the instructions as written the first time, anyway.

Also, if you want to have some step-by-step instructions (along with photos) of a bread recipe that Heather has used, you can see her post "How To Make Homemade Bread". Good luck and have fun!

Weekly Giveaway - Parking Pal

2010-03-05T00:00:00-08:00

Congratulations to Jessa a Pinkies & Piggies Complete Take Home Impressions Kit that Whitehouse Glass will then use to produce a handcrafted glass keepsake! (Valued at $69.99) Pinkies & Piggies Kits will be 10% off this week (until Thursday night).

Parking Pal

Retail Value: $7.99

One lucky winner will receive a Parking Pal in the style of their choice!

The Parking Pal will entertain kids while keeping them safe at the same time! Children are automatically drawn to the unique, colorful, fun designs of the Parking Pal. Helping to reduce the possibility of parking lot injury, the Parking Pal is a simple, affordable solution to keep kids safe and right next to your car. Seven in stock designs to choose from with the affordable price of $7.99 the Parking Pal is a product proven to be loved by both mom and kids. Recommended for ages 3+.

How do you win?

Take a look at the Parking Pal listing, and comment here telling us which of the seven styles is your favorite.

The winner will be randomly drawn. You have until Tuesday evening, March 9th, to enter.

Good luck!

Amy Loves Skinies!

2010-03-04T00:00:00-08:00

"I just wanted to comment that I LOVE the Skinies top I got a few months ago. I wear it all the time it is comfortable. It keeps my belly covered while nursing- since I am 6 feet tall almost nothing is long enough. It also keeps my belly covered when my shirt gets moved around while babywearing. I really couldn't be happier about this top. Thank you for pointing it out to me." ~ Mom 4 Life, Amy

Skinies Slimming Nursing Cami Undergarment

$29.99

Retailers That Rock

2010-03-03T06:00:00-08:00

Upspring Baby, manufacturers of Walking Wings, Shrinx Hips, and milkscreen™, recently featured me as a Retailer that Rocks!

You can read the full article, right here!

confessions from a cleaner mom

2010-03-02T06:00:00-08:00

Ok girls, confession time (and yes, I still think of us as girls, you never age as quickly in your mind as your body):

I am somewhat of a cleaner and an organizer, no real surprise there if you have read this blog very long. Recently I realized something sort of embarrassing: I almost never clean my kitchen sink. I clean out my sink all the time, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and such but actually scrubbing it, nope haven't been doing it. Maybe once a week? Ok I only said that to keep you from freaking out at the real answer--about once every two weeks! YIKES I know, disgusting at best.

But there is good news, I have taken a new "baby step" to start making my own non toxic household cleaners. First on the list:

Non Toxic Homemade Scouring Powder

1 c. baking soda (about $6.66 at Costco for a 13.5 pound bag)
1/4 c. borax (about $3.39 at my local FredMeyer for a 4 pound 12 oz box)
A few drops of essential oil (optional) I use about 10-15 drops of both orange oil and grapefruit oil (both are about $5.59 each at SuperSupplements) and it gives the cleaner a lovely citrus smell while adding some extra disinfectant properties. You could just pick type of oil, I just happen to have these two on hand so I use them both.

Mix all ingredients and put into a shaker. Use it just as you might use Comet. If you are able to buy the baking soda and borax in a large quantity the price of this cleaner is just amazingly small.

Now each evening as I clean the kitchen after dinner I sprinkle my sink down with my scouring powder and scrub it clean. It works really, really well and smells wonderful. I can almost hear your thoughts of "well its about time" gentle applause at my new routine.

Three Steps to Cutting the Umbilical Cord on Your Business

2010-03-01T00:00:00-08:00

We are continually sending Mompreneurs to Startup Princess for help in getting their business going. Last week, Startup Princess featured my hints on time management when it comes to family and business in, Three Steps to Cutting the Umbilical Cord on Your Business.

Even if you don't have a business, you may be inspired by some of these tips. After all, if you're a mom, you have a lot to manage!

Last Day for Free BabyLegs!

2010-02-27T00:10:00-08:00

DON'T FORGET!!

Today is the last day you can get a free pair of BabyLegs with every $30.00 you spend at Mom 4 Life.

Keep Your Tank Full! - Angela Gifford

2010-02-27T00:00:00-08:00

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?" Psalm 42:2

I have a bad habit of letting my gas tank get way too low. My mini-van has one of those handy features of telling me how many miles I have left on the tank. I've learned the hard way that it isn't too accurate.

Honestly, I don't know how many times I've needed bailed out. My sister in law has brought me gas on the side of the road. My brother has brought gas to my house. Friends have brought me gas at random stores I had to pull over at. I've even been towed by a stranger to the nearest station. Sad. I know.

I was trying to figure out this weekend why that happens to me so much, and the bottom line is that I'm just not intentional about filling my tank when I can. The truth is, I'm just too busy on school days to stop for gas. My schedule is down to the minute in the mornings and at noon when delivering my prize kindergartner to his afternoon class.

SO....I need to make sure I'm gassed up on the weekend. Just like I do more cleaning and more baking and more laundry on the weekends, getting ready for a new week, I need to make sure my tank is full and ready.

I love this verse because, as a mom, it is my constant question. When can I meet with God?

I'll be honest, I don't get a consistent time every day with the Lord. It isn't that I don't try or that I don't want it but kids don't often read my schedule and pick when to get sick or misbehave or wake up super early. There are days when my only time with God is just praying throughout my day or reading a chapter of Psalms to my kids.

Long before this weekend, when I finally decided when to fill my van's tank, I learned that I had to be pretty intentional to keep my spiritual tank filled. My mentor, Santha, and I were talking not too long ago, and she said something so profound (which is pretty normal for Santha). She said, "There is a difference between being intentional and being in control." So often as moms we feel sabotaged by our lack of control over our schedule and what may surprise us each day. But we can still be intentional with our relationship with God. Our time with Him may not happen every morning like we hope...or even during afternoon nap time, but we can still carve the time slot out and be ready.

A good friend, Kim, was just sharing with me this weekend how God has laid on her heart to get up at a certain time on certain days of the week - not every day, but certain days. That is how she is going to be intentional.

I've learned to take my "mom-time" to be with God. When Bill sends me out for a couple of hours to get away, I often take my Bible and meet God somewhere. I've learned it helps me more than just about anything else I need to keep going. This weekend, I'm doing something I've never done before (at least since I had kids), I'm going away for an entire weekend - just me and God. I can't wait!

Do you thirst for time with the Lord? Does your soul long for Him? He's waiting for you!

-Angela Gifford, Those With Young

Weekly Giveaway - Pinkies & Piggies

2010-02-26T00:00:00-08:00

Congratulations to Alexa who won an Undercover Mama in the color and size of her choice. All Undercover Mamas will be 10% off this week (until next Thursday night).

ONLY TWO MORE DAYS!!

Every $30 increment of product purchased will entitle you to one free pair of BabyLegs from this page.

Pinkies & Piggies Personalized Glass Keepsakes

Retail Value: $69.99

One lucky winner will receive a Pinkies & Piggies Complete At Home Impressions Kit. Whitehouse Glass will then produce a handcrafted glass keepsake from the impression!

Each keepsake is handmade from start to finish and etched with the exclusive P&P logo. There's also space to etch baby's name and date of birth or birth weight. If you wish, you may opt to have your keepsake crafted so you can hang your keepsake where you'll enjoy it every day.

Pinkies & Piggies Glass Keepsakes create a memory of your baby that will last forever.

Allergen Alert: Contains Wheat

Note: Impression area is 5 inches in diameter. The hand or foot must not be longer than 5 inches.

How do you win?

We have been busy slashing prices on several items. Check out our Sale Items and tell us your favorite. You can earn two extra entries this week by:

Mentioning our Giveaway on Facebook
Linking to your favoring sale item on Facebook

Comment for each entry you earn.

The winner will be randomly drawn. You have until Tuesday evening, March 2nd, to enter.

Good luck!