<![CDATA[mom, interrupted - Stolen Moments Blog]]>Tue, 24 Aug 2010 18:25:08 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[The Family Story.]]>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 19:24:42 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/08/the-family-story.htmlI asked my daughter Mercy today what she would think if Mommy, Daddy, her sister and herself would go on a road trip across the country together in a van.  She is four years old, so naturally, this is a hard concept to grasp.  After a little thought, she responded, "Mommy, I think God wants us to fly in a plane to Disneyworld."  Maybe she understood my proposal a little better than I thought...

Divorce rates are high in this country.  I have personally been married five years, and have known at least five couples married after me who are already divorced.  Thankfully many of them don't have children caught in the middle, but some do.  It tears my heart out, especially knowing my husband came from a broken home and it still affects him to this day.

Last summer I began reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love and thought to myself, what a great story!  A woman taking a year long journey to get her life back on track, discovering other cultures and people...  But how impractical.  She is a divorcee without any children, nor does she want any children.  I am a married woman with (now) two daughters, and perhaps more in the future.  She was in an enviable position for such a journey, but what about the rest of us who aren't where she is in life? 

That's when I had to the idea to plan a similarly demanding journey (though not as much in time and expense) with my family.  I feel like the idea of family needs to be celebrated, not seen as an obligation or burden, and that we need to form a strong connection in order to prevent any chance for divorce in the future.  My kids are young, both under five years, and they probably won't remember the initial excursion I have planned, but the important thing is that their parents (us) will.  And it will establish a bond necessary to do life together...perhaps laying some sort of foundation for us as husband/wife and as a unit of family.

I want to travel around the country in an RV for one summer with the family in tow.  It can be a rickety 1980s version, I have no problem the sort of vehicle, and even the actual plans would have to be flexible.  But the specific purpose(s) would be for us to intentionally learn about one another during this physical journey, but also to meet other families who have been successful along the way.  Not only would we be seeing historical landmarks and perhaps doing a little tourist action, but we would be interacting and learning the stories of others who have and will make an impact in their families and communities for generations to come.  That is the kind of family I want to have.  There is something so powerful about a family that can communicate, spend quality time with one another, and love others together.  I want to set that precedent for my girls.  We have so much to learn about each other and about this world together.

My husband would probably be able to work from the road, as would I, and my oldest will be on summer break, so we figured it would be a good time to take this adventure.  Perhaps it would establish some sort of tradition.  However, I know that I probably can't even conceive of the things we will encounter and learn together.  I envision my 'story' intertwined with my family, because I want to inspire other families to be living their stories together.

For this reason,  I want to go to Don Miller's Living A Better Story Seminar in Portland this September.  I honestly don't even know what to expect if I do go to the seminar...I did read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and felt inspired enough to see this vision put into action.  Perhaps this conference is going to be the kicker that seals the plans into place.  Perhaps it will help me to learn how to tell this story to others.  No matter what, it will not be wasted time.  It will probably make me and my husband to look at each other and say with resolve, "Let's do it. Let's really do it."
]]><![CDATA[The Haughty Droid]]>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 06:58:15 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/08/the-haughty-droid.html
You’re a robot
whom I see walking
down this street
and that street
looking all discreet
on your metal feet

so I throw a stone
and you look so alone
so so so so so
alone

But still you strut
like a cock
With all your swagger
I’m baffled

Your back is to me
and I see the metal door
where the insides are stored

And I look real close
to read your mark,
‘Made in the dark.’

So, I guess your story is
you went awry
like some weird sci-fi
plot.
Thinking you’re alone-
no programmer
behind you,
no drone
within you-
subject to
moth and rust
and me,
ashes and dust]]><![CDATA[The Girl With The Ring Tattoo Around Her Ankle]]>Tue, 17 Aug 2010 21:22:35 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/08/the-girl-with-the-ring-tattoo-around-her-ankle.htmlReally? It has been that long since I've written?  Well guess what...I've been working!    I am also planning to revamp my blog big time soon.  So there.

And in my spare moments (which are few and far between...) I managed to read a little book called "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" by the late Stieg Larsson.  You probably haven't heard of it.  Yeah, I don't know if it will ever catch on either.  Wait, what's that?  It's a bestseller and they are making an American version of the movie now?  What in the sam hill is that all about?

I will not reveal anything here about the plot, but feel free to post stuff in my comments about the plot if you have read it...I have lots of questions after reading it.  Such as...why is this book so popular?

Throughout the course of the book, there are these two intertwining stories; one is that journalist Michael Blomkvist (who will be played by Daniel Craig in the American film version) was convicted of libel by some corporate scumbag who needs to have his ego checked as well as his fraudulent bank accounts.  I found this part of the story well written and thrilling, but it probably took up about maybe one fifth of the total story.  Shame.

The other part of the story was Michael Blomkvist doing this investigative work for an old industry tycoon whose niece, Harriet, disappeared 36 years previous, and in his old age wanted to put an end to his obsession for finding her killer.  Enter, the famed Lisbeth Salander (to be played by Patricia Rooney Mara, announced today), a prodigal hacker whose help Blomkvist enlists to solve the mystery.  While the focus of the issue of violence against women in Sweden that Larsson exposed in great detail was important through this plot line, I found it somewhat predictable even when he was trying to surprise, and dull when he was clearly trying to shock.  The actual mystery part of the story wasn't a real mystery to me: there seemed to be holes in the plot that I was looking forward to having resolved by the end, and then they were never resolved.  And the REAL mystery to me is why he named it "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" when that was not really even much part of the story, and in fact, other tattoos that Lisbeth had were more prominent (like the ring around her ankle?!  remember? if you've read the story...It could have been called "The Girl With The Ring Tattoo Around Her Ankle."  Catchy, right?)

However, I think what did draw me to the story was the characters.  And I think that is why the rest of the world is drawn to it as well; Larsson's characterization is crafty, cunning, and complicated.  These characters are not wholly predictable, and they have such depth that I felt like I would know people like them in real life.  I enjoyed seeing into their minds and learning how they think; he brought such dimension into them.  For this I give Larsson a proverbial tip of my hat, and say thank you for giving me some great lessons as to how to do that in a novel.  But I won't really be going to you for plot tips.

I haven't read any other reviews yet; this is just my initial first impressions without anyone doing the interpreting for me. 

I am looking forward to the movie (I will rent the foreign version from my library) and I hope things in it are a little more tightly wrapped than in the book.

What are your thoughts?
]]><![CDATA[Death: Unnatural.]]>Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:53:31 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/07/lets-face-it.htmlIn the past few weeks, I have seen people I know grieving for a lost loved one, and my heart just breaks along with them.  Three people died that I either knew personally or through acquaintances.  It really has brought death home to me, again.  I thought I was pretty familiar with it at one point in my life.  But again, I am reminded of its capabilities, being close to it through others.  Pretty uncomfortably close.  I have been thinking a lot about the actual process of dying, and what it must be like--people speculate, some have made claims, but it seems like one of those things you just don't know until you are there yourself.

I think it is strange that we all still regard death as a phenomenon or almost unexpected, like a blip in the radar, after all these years of humans beings existing here on earth.  Like, we think it is still unnatural to die.  If it is true what the bible says about 'eternity set in the hearts of men,' then it would make sense that we would still regard death as unnatural, and we never would get used to the idea of it.  Our hearts are set on a forever; but, in this sometimes grim reality, when the biological clock stops ticking...it seems wrong.  Something is off.  We may try to write it off or hide the fact that we are stunned by the idea of death by saying that it is a totally natural process and part of life. That is true in a sense, but we are not being honest with ourselves if we don't admit that we don't FEEL something else should be...that there is another way, a better way. We all have a longing for death to never stare its ugly face at us again, and for our souls to just go on and on, our loved ones there with us just going on and on....and on. 

I think of this verse from an old classic that really speaks to some inner core of my being:
"When we've been there
Ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Then when we've first begun..."

I like that idea. That I understand.  But this whole death thing, I am ready for it to be done, it is a great mystery that I do not really want to understand, or will ever want to 'get to know.' 

Even if I make it to when I am old and gray, and witness my old and gray friends dropping like flies, I am sure there will still be a pang when death comes to take them.  In this blink-of-an-eye kind of life, I don't think we have time to really get too used to death, we just learn to cope.  But we never really get over it.

I am reminded though that, with what I believe, death does not have to be a final victory of our lives.  Though it is hard, and though we mourn now in this reality,  I have hope that one day a new reality will set in, and death will be no more.  And we will be celebrating, and laughing, and dancing, and shining bright.  That sounds 'natural' to me.

*this post goes out to those lost lately, Michael Pry (28), Marcus Cicero (25), and little baby Jacob (3 months).
]]><![CDATA[The Young and the Restless.]]>Tue, 13 Jul 2010 12:16:37 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/07/the-young-and-the-restless.htmlTrue story.

I was in my counselor's waiting room the other day (yes, I go to a counselor.  As should you.) when this old woman emerged from the counseling room, weeping and crying, sounding not too different than an injured dog.  She must have been 70, and her husband got up from one of the chairs to meet her, looking unsympathetic and weary.

I overheard my counselor tell him that if his wife keeps that up, then they would owe her new furniture.  Apparently the old woman had thrown a tantrum in the office and was hitting the chairs.  Looking at this woman now, she seemed incapable of violent outbursts.  She was wringing her hands, looking very insecure.  It took her about 10 minutes to even leave the place, with a very impatient husband pleading with her to finally go, because she kept asking questions.  I heard my counselor tell her that if she didn't do the work outside of meeting together, then she might as well not come anymore.

When it was my turn to see my counselor, I pried a little, being the curious person that I am.  She said the woman had never dealt with her anxiety issues all her life, and as soon as her kids grew up and left the house, she was faced with her ugly issues she had never bothered to deal with...and when confronted, she regressed to being a child and throwing tantrums.  This scared me in a sense, because I knew 1) that I did not want to grow up and be this woman and 2) I didn't want to teach my kids to handle their anxiety this way.  I have great fears of passing my anxiety problems onto my children, and I really want to teach them another way to handle stress.  That starts with me handling it myself.

I was conscious of this when an incident that would normally provoke my anger and anxiety happened yesterday.  My oldest daughter was sitting at the kitchen table and spilled her bowl of macaroni onto the floor, making a big mess.  It was clearly an accident, she was immediately apologetic.  Normally, I would have gone the shaming route because I was inconvenienced and would need to clean it up, spouting off things like "Mercy!  What did you do that for?!  You need to be more careful!" Of which she would have then been wringing her hands just like that old lady.  Instead, I decided to combat my own feelings (like, that I am overwhelmed that I have to clean up this big mess) and tell her it wasn't a big deal, and that she didn't need to worry or feel bad.  I could tell she was surprised by my reaction.  Even though it was a small thing, my motive was to teach her how to handle stress; instead of feeling ashamed, guilty, and anxious, she could see the big picture and realize that this 'accident' was not really her fault.  And it took less than three minutes to clean up, and we were both happy.  Stress is sometimes just an unnecessary illusion that is given too much power in our lives. 

I know I won't react with this saint-like attitude for every instance of stressful situations, but it certainly was a step forward in alleviating my own anxiety and teaching this next generation a healthy response to this pervasive problem of stress. 

What ways do you handle stress around your children? (Phlegmatic people need not respond...you are perfect at handling stress)
]]><![CDATA[Launching this busyness...]]>Thu, 01 Jul 2010 11:30:09 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/07/launching-this-busyness.htmlYes, I know I spelled 'business' wrong in the title...but really, I am launching myself into more 'busyness' than I have in the past year.  I know, I know, the life with children can be incredibly busy in itself. But launching an actual revenue-seeking job requires a lot of work and time.  And quiet time, at that, which is nearly impossible with a preschooler and infant.  Right now I have someone watching the girls, because I want to separate working time from my time with them.  However, on normal days, I will probably mostly be working at night while the kids are sleeping and my husband is home.

So far I have been networking like crazy, updating this site, facebook, twitter, and also visiting others blogs and websites.  Thankfully, this is something I also enjoy doing.  I am also reading several self-employment books, and of course, the ever-important Writers Market 2010 that my husband so kindly surprised me with. 

I am excited to begin this new venture/adventure in writing as a career.  This is something, no joke, my mother told me I would be doing as a job since the third grade.  Well, specifically she wanted me to be writing speeches for the President of the U.S., but this comes close.

In the meantime of writing for businesses, I will also continue to work on fiction as I have a new found passion for writing short stories, thanks to my introduction to the greatness of Flannery O'Connor.  : )  Perhaps one day I will share some of that work.  And perhaps also one day, I will get to writing that novel that Rob keeps pushing me to do.

I am trying to find a way to wrap this up, so I think maybe a good quote will do from a writer I respect...

Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne





 
]]><![CDATA[The End of an Areola: Stopping Breastfeeding.]]>Mon, 21 Jun 2010 08:58:56 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/06/the-end-of-an-areola-stopping-breastfeeding.htmlMercy nursed for 11 months and decidedly weaned herself after she was introduced to milk in a sippy cup.  With Lucy still breastfeeding at eight months though and with no inclination to stop, weaning, I can only guess, will be especially difficult.

Per doctors orders and medical reasons, I was encouraged to stop, so over the course of the next month, I will slowly move Lucy away from the boob and onto a sippy of either pumped milk or formula.

Any mother would surely understand how difficult this may be for me emotionally.  Even though Lucy has been attached to me and would no longer take a bottle, causing me to make my plans around feeding times, it has been a wonderful bonding experience for us both.

My doctor tried to comfort me by telling me that she will bond with me in other ways now, and at least I had breastfed her so long for most mothers have to stop before then for one reason or another.  But still, I began to mourn the loss of this comforting practice as though someone close to me had been lost.  I know one day I will look back on this and say, "What was I so worried about?"  But for now, I think I will just accept my emotions as they are and let them run their course. 

I am, however, looking forward to the freedom that comes from not breastfeeding, and that anyone will be able to give her milk and perhaps Rob and I can get away for a night or two. 
]]><![CDATA[The Voice.]]>Sat, 05 Jun 2010 13:07:42 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/06/the-voice.htmlSomebody posted this in a parenting forum.  Hearing for the first time: Watch this.

This video reminds me about what it is like to become a Child of God and to hear the voice of the Father for the first time.  It's like a new sound you never knew even existed, flowing with love and emotion and causing excitement and wonder.  It is beautiful.

It's like the sheep knowing their Shepherd's voice. (John 10).
]]><![CDATA[Special mom skills!]]>Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:30:12 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/06/special-mom-skills.htmlLOVE how Julie Bowen posted a pic on her twitter on May 18 of her double-breastfeeding her twin boys.  See a story about it here

All moms have supermom skills, and I thought we could share what special skills you can do as a mother! 

I can fold laundry while breastfeeding.  That's pretty much my only claim to coolness, even if some of you might say that is weird.  It is kinda weird to me, too.  What can you do?
]]><![CDATA[Drive-thru? Yes please!]]>Fri, 14 May 2010 19:18:24 -0800http://www.mominterrupted.me/1/post/2010/05/drive-thru-yes-please.htmlIf only all businesses thought like a mother.

Subway would have a drive-thru.  They do in central IL, but here in the burbs, the sandwich chain tends to be packed in the bellies of mini-malls.  So, Starbucks will win out, or McD's, even if it is less nutritious and more money.  But also more delicious.  It is so much easier than lugging a baby and a roaming preschooler into the joint.  (Taking the kids out in the first place is really a desperate act to maintain sanity because the confines of a home with children inside can in itself feel like a psych ward.  I personally start hallucinating.  It's worth the money to get out of the house).  Libraries could also implement a drive-thru...I mean, you can get food through drive-thrus, you can get money, why not books?  Order online, pick it up at the window.  Botta-bing, botta-boom, success.

Also a good business that no one here in the Midwest has ventured to establish is day care in the grocery store.  Go ahead, steal this idea.  I'm begging you, someone start this thing!  Can you imagine going to the grocery store, dropping your kids off in a play room with licensed caretakers who give you about an hour to shop in peace and quiet?  Maybe you would pay a few dollars per each child.  So worth the expense.  You'd save by not having to pay for broken items or surprise foods the kids pick out and throw in the cart when you aren't looking.  Ikea has the right idea by having Smaland, but they only sell furniture, and the room is always filled up by the time I get there.
Picture
Some businesses would even benefit by offering what I would like to call "sitters,"  literally people who would sit in your car with the kids while you run into the store to buy one item or return something quickly.  Because we all know we don't live in the 80s anymore, and it's not "safe" or "legal" to leave your kids in the car alone for two minutes. The library should adopt this idea if they aren't going to implement a drive-thru.

C'mon business owners.  We live in America, for Pete's sake, land of the free, home of the I-can-get-anything-I-want-the-way-I-want-it-because-the-customer-is-always-right.  Cater to us moms, who do 90 percent of daytime shopping!
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