Over the past few weeks I have been reading a very good book to my little guy. Every night before we go to bed we pull out 100 Bible Stories – 100 Bible Songs. The CD is already in the player, waiting for me to hit the “play” button.

What I love about this book is that is like a devotion that you can use to teach your child more about the greatness of God. Each story reads quickly, provides a line to one the 100 Bible Songs on the two CD set, and it even has a good section for beginning readers to participate in.

While it does skip some pertinent stories, I think it covers the gamut of what a child needs in order to get a good idea of what is in God’s Word. You will even find a corresponding scripture for each story and  that you can in your reading time as well; especially for older children.

Once we are done with the story of the evening, we go over the main point of the story and I have my child read the point back to me. I find 100 Bible Stories – 100 Bible Songs to be a refreshing way to share God, connect with your children, and teach them values and morals for life. The images, the wording, and the simplicity makes this book an easy night time read and an excellent source for young readers.

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Today they paid tribute to Michael Jackson and I thought it was a wonderful tribute. What has saddened me are the many children of God who have taken it upon themselves to be judge and jury. One thing that my husband told me was that, just as Christ, we have to look beyond the man we see to the soul of the person.

Regardless of what we think about a person or assume to know, to look at a man based on the color, the rumors, and accusations we do not even have the criteria it takes to place judgement upon anyone. Yes, have an opinion but know that for every opinion you have of someone, there is one of you too. What do you want people to think of you?

You can say you do not care what people think, but the bottom line is that unless you are a heartless person with no emotions, you do care to some extent. Words hurt….I know this for myself.

In looking at Michael’s life and from what was said today and in the past, I guess I see a lot of myself. I have always been a strange child and wondered why I was different. As the years went on I began to feel lonely and without anyone to truly get who LaTara was. From the uniqueness of my name “LaTara Venise Bussey” to” LaTara Venise Ham-Ying”  to the way I choose to share my very core,I was ridiculed for the differences I displayed.

My supposed defects were taken and raked through the coal over and over again. It was as if I were the elephant woman and so when I looked in the mirror I saw a girl who was not very pretty. Imagine how Michael felt when he was teased. I can imagine it…can you?

I may not have been a genius like Micheal, but I was a very wise child who also had to grow up faster than she should have. Molestation and abuse does a lot to the psyche of a child. Trust me I know! While I was a child at heart, there were things that occurred in my life that no child should have to ever see or experience. It messed me up!

Please note that I am not saying that Michael Jackson was molested or abused. That is my story.

I say all of that to say that you never know what pain, turmoil, and tragedy lies behind the face you see in front of you or on the television. And like my momma always said “Unless you hear it from the horse mouth, don’t put a lot of stock in it.”

I hate to see people murder someone’s character and not consider their own defects. Sadly, many children of God do this very thing and this is why so many people lose faith and leave the very thing that will save them…because of the Sadducees and Pharisees of modern times. Excuse me for being so blunt but I have never been one to mince words.

We all have defects. I can name at least 10 of mine. How many of your personal defects can you name?

Today I pray and implore you to look beyond the person that just might be encouraged, motivated, or dare I say, saved because you took the time to leave perception behind and look into the soul of the man.

For me my former Pastor, and my spiritual mother and dearest friend who passed in December of 2002 were the people who looked beyond the woman people said would lie, cheat, and steal and saw the soul of a woman who was in pain and ready for a change. Today I am the woman I am in part because they encouraged, motivated, and led me towards Christ who I accepted in March 1989.

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Erin said that she still have one more answer for me and I am more than happy to answer. Erin asked:

Ok, I have one last question for you LaTara (Yep! – only one). What are your goals for your businesses and your blogs?

I think I can answer that. Perhaps I should give an itemized list…naaa just kidding. However there are a lot of plans in the works, some I can talk about and others I just have to keep underwraps

As is the norm for me, the goal with all that I do in business must fit with every facet of my being. I don’t believe that you can segment your life because you cannot segment yourself unless you have split personalities. So for me my goal with business is the same as it is in my everyday life – To Serve and Love as Christ did. My mission is to be an agent of authentic transformation in the lives of whoever God places in my path.

With that said my plans for businesses and my blogs all involve transforming by aiding peoeple to move beyond the mundane to  a more abundant way of life. Now I am not advocating things that step outside of God’s Word because God does want us to live lives that are abundantly blessed.

With Social Savvy VA, I am working on taking it up a step to offer more specific services for the new and existing business owner who needs assistant finding and implementing solutions for their business that will help them get results. The services I am now offering will help people create the business they desire without having to go crazy trying to get it all done. I know what that is like because in my early days I had to do a lot of stuff on my own.

I am not ashamed to admit that because of my allowing certain circumstances to weight me down, I was out of sorts for a long time and it affected everything I did. One thing God directed me to do was to develop a team to help me keep things balanced.By bringing on four more people to my team, it is allowing me to expand a bit. I now have two graphic artists, one wordpress expert, and a general VA working with me to make sure that clients are satisfied.

I have a few new projects coming in the next few months as well. There is a new PLR site coming as well as a new coaching program due to launch in the next three months. I am also going to be offering a service specifically for WAHMs that will help them learn the basics of using technology for their online business; because in reality not everyone can outsource and sometimes bartering fails. I am very excited about these projects and the people working along with me to make sure that it all stays balanced.

As far as my mom blog, I have recently done a makeover, including a new logo and I plan on bring more raw and real content to the blog. I am also trying to broaden the mindsets of people by bringing more African American writers, bloggers, and awesome women to the forefront. There are so many awesome African Americans in this world and they tend to go unnoticed by the mainstream public simply because of the color of their skin. This is 2009 and I am tired of the segment segregated way we live life. I am trying to help people to see the wonders and beauty in all people – not just one segment of folk.  It is time to step out of the box of segmented mediocrity and step into the world of color as it actually is.

Some things I started this year will be retired before the year is out as I look at my mission and my goals to determine if they fit. If they don’t out they go. This is all a part of being an entrepreneur. You move and groove as you live and learn.

Erin I so enjoyed this conversation with you. I hope that after this CBC is over we don’t go back to being strangers. I know you said that you were trying to transition towards a writing business. It is possible if you do it with balance. Don’t be afraid to move beyond what you think you know into a world that you know so little about. Give me a cyber ring and I will try my best to help you out.

Before we end, can I ask you one last question.

If you could do anything in the world without having to worry, what would it be?

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Hmmmm! So what are my thoughts on this?

I have been itching at the bits for a while to write on this topic. The lack of Afrian American bloggers and social media experts being passed over for so much has bugged me to no end. However, I am not upset because it appears to be under the cover racism. I am not mad because people are making excuses not to come in contact with the African American community on a deeper level.  No, this is a two way street.

Everyone has some fault.

Up until last year, I kept quiet about the subject. However, there is an event that came up this year that I had to make a stand on.I contacted the Coordinator of a popular event and community and informed her that the fact there were no African American women, or, colored women for the fact ,speaking at her up coming event was not cool. The response I got was the to her the internet was colorless. I was shocked because last time I checked when you look at my picture, you see a very pretty caramel momma.

Now I was asked to be a speaker at the next event for this popular group but I have yet to be contacted about it and really, I am ok with it. I am used to it. It even felt like more of a bandaid as opposed to a solution to the problem.

This led me to do some research and what I found did not shock me at all. The majority of the blog  and social media events do not have African Americans in the line up. I know many intelligent African Americans who are well versed in these areas and not to seek them out is just wrong.

I can name 10 African American Mom bloggers…

1. Mahogany Momma’s Black Parenting Blog
2. Black and Married with Kids
3. Quiskaeya
4. Cutie Booty Cakes
5. Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
6. The Integrated Mother
7. Ebony Mommy
8. My Brown Baby
9. Momma Law
10. Mom In The City

So as you see there are many African American Mom bloggers. As a matter of fact, Disney sponsors an event every year for African American mom bloggers and from what I read they love it.

The bottom line on both ends is that we all have to cross the bridge.

I love my people, but I am a lover of not just African Americans but people in general. However, there is a richness and quality about the African American community that is alive and full of passion. But we do tend to migrate in groups that belong to only “us”. We will create groups that are African American in nature, join and stay there. Never really reaching out to the community around us.

That is not good either. How can people find us?

As an African American woman my goal is to show not just people who share my hue, but all people the beauty of the woman God is creating me to be. It is not about my color but my character. And if people refuse to see that because I am a caramel woman, then that is their lost. I cannot do anything about it but share my views.

I think that there are still many bridges to be crossed in the blogging and social media arenas.

• Bridges that see beyond the color
• Bridges that look beyond the stereotypes
• Bridges that go beyond what group I may or may not belong to
• Bridges that teach people to see someone for who they are and not for what they think the person may be

I want to challenge every person reading this today to look at a person for who they are. If you are a coordinator or owner of a community that has blogging events, find those mom bloggers of color (black, brown, olive, and the rest) and ask them to be a part of the event. If you are thinking that you can’t find them they are there.

I simply did a search and found the ten I listed here.

I plan on blogging more and bringing the truth to light. It is high time we stop hiding behind the excuses and reach out to the community at large. We segment ourselves too much and this should just not be.The world is made of many different colors and we tend to stick to what we know.

It is time to step out of the box of perception and look at the real world that sits on the horizon.

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Erin asked…

You have (I hope I counted correctly) 6 different websites ranging from blogs to businesses. Whew! How do you find balance in your life? Was it difficult for you in the beginning to find that balance, too? How long did it take you to feel comfortable in the WAHM role? Do you have any tips on time management and prioritizing?

ROTFL! Erin can I just be honest with you and say that in and of myself, I don’t do a good job at all. Just this past week I missed a very important interview and it really bothered me. I am glad it was a team of people and that I was not the one they were relying on; but nonetheless it bugged me to no ends.

It is only by carefully organizing myself that I find the balance. Also the ability to outsource and delegate is a HUGE help. Mostly though, for me it is God’s grace that has kept me thus far and will to the end I am sure.

Having my family around to help me and letting them know, “Hey I am not an island and I cannot take care of this house all by myself”, has helped them to see that we are a team. In a team we all do our part. As stay at home moms, we often think that just because the man works out of the home, that we are to do it all in the home. Not so. It took me a few years to see that that was really backwards thinking. So we work as a team. There is no “I” in team.

I also try to keep a schedule but I am not the best at it, so I have hired a VA to help me with it. I don’t like feeling confined to anything and a schedule is confinement to me. I am working on it day by day, one step at a time.

As far as feeling comfortable with being a WAHM, I think it has always been in me as I have worked from home before when my oldest was little and wanted to be home with him. I owned a day care and sold Avon for about 4 years. So getting into the groove of the role again was easy peasy

Balance is not something that comes instantaneously. It comes with practice, effort, and daily determination. There are some days when I fail at being balanced and some days when I am great with it. For me I know that my health is affected by my lack of balance so I am working hard at keeping the balance.

Time management is a personal thing and the way people balance their time is determined by what their lifestyle is like. For a mom with all young kids, I can imagine that their time management is different than mine because I only have one young child at home. My teenager is now a senior in highschool and no longer needs mom to spoon feed him. Plus he can help around the house and this frees my time up.

So my tips for time managment are:

• Take a look at your lifestyle, sit down take some notes and figure out what works for your family.
• Pace yourself so that you are not taking too much time with any one thing. Balance is about finding space for everything.
• If you are a mom to all little ones, please don’t neglect them by making the tv and toys your instant babysitter. As mom to little ones you are needed in that arena more than you will ever know.
• Don’t be an Island! Ask for help and let your family know that you are not “Molly the Maid” and that the home is everyone’s home. Therefore everyone needs to pitch in a bit.
• Love yourself enough to know that time is one of the most precious gifts you have to manage and it is up to you to make the difference in how your time is balanced.

I spoke more on balanced in an interview I did with one of Kelly’s interns on WAHM Talk Radio blog. You can read that as well for more insight and tips on balance and time management.

Whew, was the enough for you Erin

Now let me ask you…

In your transition from SAHM to WAHM, what has been your biggest struggle? What can you apply to your life to help you combat this struggle?

I am looking forward to seeing what you have to say.

For those reading this CBC with Erin, be sure to check out her answers and more great posts at Mom’s Resource Blog.

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I just love Cross Blog Conversations because you meet some of the most interesting individuals and strike up some very valuable conversations. This time I am talking to Erin over at Mom’s Resource Blog. She and I first met about a month ago when she interviewed me for the Buzz A Mom campaign.

Alrighty, so let’s get right into the conversation.

Erin wants to know:

What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you? Did it inspire you to pass it on?  What is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone else?  Why did you do it, and how did it make you feel?

There have been so many people who have done nice things for me. It is hard to choose one. I have been immensely blessed.

If I had to choose just one, I would have to say when I was my lowest point in life and had lost so many things, including my self-worth and dignity. Our computer stopped working and with it my hopes of my online business. I was contacted by Kelly McCausey about something and I explained to her why I was not able to follow through. I was at the library at the time and after I emailed Kelly and she responded, I started noticing all of these PayPal notifications come through my email.

Kelly had put out a call to the WAHM community and people started donating towards the purchase of my computer. As I saw the money come in, I sat in the library and cried my eyes out, thanking God and asking Him to bless them all. Kelly raised over $1000 for me and it helped me to get a nice working computer for my family plus a new camera which I desperately needed.

It inpsired me to strive for the best in business, never give up; and yes, it inspired me to pass it on.

This year I started paying it forward by finding two women who want to work from home and helping them get started by paying for their hosting, domain names and helping them learn the ropes. I think that it is empowering for a woman to have something that is hers to be proud of.

I am also helping some moms get that blog they wanted by giving away a few free customizations this year.

I am doing this because people like Kelly, Regina Baker, Lynette Chandler, Aurelia Williams, Angelia White, and so many others helped me get to where I am today. It makes me feel good to be able to assist others as they watch their dream come true.

Now that I have answered the questions for you, Erin, I have a few for you to answer as well.

Why do you think it is so important to do nice things for other people? Do you think that people who don’t pay it forward sufferor miss out in any way?

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Worth a Thousand Words
Jubilant Soul Series Book Two
by Stacy Hawkins Adams

Life has always gone Indigo Burns’s way. She’s smart, pretty, and talented, and she knows exactly what she wants. A photography internship at her hometown’s local newspaper is the next step in her well-laid plans for her future. But her long-term goals are put to the test when her boyfriend Brian proposes–two years before he’s supposed to and in front of all the guests at her college graduation party.

Too concerned about his feelings to say no, she heartily agrees, but inside she’s cringing. Indigo knows in her heart that she’s not prepared to sacrifice her dreams to become Brian’s wife–not before she has achieved any of them. Will she find the answers among family and friends in Jubilant, Texas? Or will the picture-perfect life she dreams of be left behind?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Stacy Hawkins Adams is a nationally-published, award-winning author and speaker. Her contemporary women’s fiction novels are filled with social themes and spiritual quests that take readers on journeys into their own souls.

She holds a degree in journalism and served as a newspaper reporter for more than a decade before turning her full attention to penning books, speaking professionally and writing freelance articles.

Stacy lives in a suburb of Richmond, Virginia with her husband and two young children.

Follow the blog tour schedule at http://bitly.com/WorthAThousandWords

For more information about Stacy, visit her at stacyhawkinsadams.com.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MY BOOK REVIEW

Sometimes we have to make decisions and choices that can threaten life as we know it. Everything can literally come apart at the seams based on the decisions we make. Yet, choices must be made nonetheless.

The two main characters in Worth a Thousand Words by Stacey Hawkins Adams faced these very issues. Stacey does a wonderful job of relating the choices we make in real life to the plot of this book. Throughout the entire book we see people making choices that will change their lives as well as those they know and love. Adding aspects of family life, spirituality, and perceived realities, make this book a lesson in how to face your issues with dignity and honor.

Reading about Indigo Burns, her finance, Brian, and the lives of the many characters Stacey has weaved into the book, will likely take you to a time in your own life when you had to make a choice. The characters in Worth A Thousand Words struggle with expectations, and responsibilities, as well as being true to self and God. They face discovering and dealing with the reality of life and removing the perceived notions they once had.

I found Worth a Thousand Words to be enlightening as well as factual to life’s true struggles. I commend Stacey Hawkins Adams for writing a book that makes people face reality as is.

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An odd combination of both! I love people and crave clattery, chatty coffee bars AS LONG AS I get my three or four hours of solitude to read, write, pray, and think.

Do you like to cook? If so, what are your favorite dishes to cook?

Ooh, do I EVER love to cook. In fact, I wish you were here right now. My mama taught me to rustle up grub without recipes. I’d sauté you some shrimps, throw in diced green and yellow and red peppers and onion and garlic and some of my secret bayou spices, then boil up a pot of pasta and mix it all together. If we need a little creaminess, I’d cut you a chunk of a couple of my favorite cheese (Spain’s Red Dragon, Ireland’s Killian Gold) and let you choose, then grate it and mix that in the dish. We’d toss mixed organic salad greens, slice up some fresh veggies, throw on homemade croutons, pray, and dig in! We Lacys eat like this most nights. Come on over!!

What movie(s) have you watched recently that you would recommend?

Oh, we LOVE to watch films. Besides reading and game playing, that’s our main form of entertainment. This weekend we watched: A Man Named Pearl, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, and The Visitor. As you might guess, we choose foreign films, documentaries; those out-of-the-norm gems that make us think new thoughts and travel to new places.

Our favorite recent big-screen hit: Slumdog Millionaire. I loved the story’s frame around a “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” show and thought the cinematography brilliant!

Do you like books being turned into a movie? If so, what is your favorite book-to-movie?

Yes, yes, yes! To Kill a Mockingbird.

If What the Bayou Saw was turned into a movie, who would you cast to play your characters?

Whew! How about Sally Struthers for Sally Stevens. While we’re dreaming, I’ll pick Leslie Uggams for Ella. Ever since I saw Leslie off Broadway in “Old Settlers” and got to meet her after the show, I’ve adored her! Shanica Knowles or Keke Palmer would do great as Shamika. That’s the start of my dream cast!

Which social networks do you enjoy the most?

You’ve ferreted out one of my many weaknesses. I really don’t like social networks, much preferring a tete a tete over lattes at my Coffee Hound. My daughter and my publicist pretty much forced me onto Facebook, and I do my best to keep it running.

What’s next for you?

A trip to China, once I convince my husband that it’s an absolute must to research Reclaiming Lily. Oh, I just LOVE the research part of writing.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Segregation and a chain link fence separated twelve-year-old Sally Flowers from her best friend, Ella Ward. Yet a brutal assault bound them together. Forever. Thirty-eight years later, Sally, a middle-aged Midwestern instructor, dredges up childhood secrets long buried beneath the waters of a Louisiana bayou in order to help her student, who has also been raped. Fragments of spirituals, gospel songs, and images of a Katrina-ravaged New Orleans are woven into the story.

Visit Patti on line at www.pattilacy.com.

View the full blog tour schedule at http://bitly.com/WhatTheBayouSaw

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We all know someone who is generous to a fault. I myself have been accused of being “too nice” more than once in my lifetime. The type of person who will give even when it means that they do not have much left for themselves. For many, the act is genuine kindness; for others it is a way to punish themselves. Therein lies the difference between selflessness and self-denial.

Is there a thin line between selflessness and self-denial? The difference is in the resulting feeling and the lifestyle of the giver not the act itself. For instance, let’s say that you have lunch at work with a friend. As you sit down to eat, she realizes that her lunch is back at home on the kitchen counter. You offer to share your lunch with her so she doesn’t have to go without.

Here’s another example. A friend asks if they can borrow a dress because they are going out on a date. As she looks through your closet, she finds the one she likes but it also happens to be the new dress you just purchased. With a half-hearted smile, you hand her the dress and say, “It’ll look good on you. I don’t know when I’ll ever get to wear it on a date.”

The difference here is not in the action, but in the emotion behind it. In both situations, the giver shared easily enough. But, the person who shared lunch is left with a feeling of satisfaction. The person lending the dress has just reinforced negative feelings about herself with her sacrifice. One is not the same as the other.

Selflessness in our character comes from a place of security. In essence, we are comfortable in our skin. On-the-other-hand, self-denial results from a place of insecurity. In the mind of those who self-deny there is the thought that they don’t deserve to be happy so they give away things as a form of self-imposed punishment.

Giving of our time and talents is also a form of selflessness. Our character is not diminished by the gift but we are uplifted because someone else will benefit from our generosity. We don’t have to put ourselves lower in order for someone else to feel better.

Self-denial is the opposite. With everything that is sacrificed, the person feels worse. It is a debt whose punishment never ends.

Self-denial does not have to be a part of your life. If you are in self-denial mode, you have to do is figure out the reason that you feel less than deserving of the good things in life

Denying yourself the right to live your life is a serious problem. It usually stems from a past experience where you were possibly made to feel that way. In the absence of anything else to the contrary, you carried that character flaw throughout your life. And, yes, it is a flaw to view yourself in such a negative light.

It is a good idea to pay attention to how and why you give. Consider your emotional state and what you gave. Ask yourself if you are giving out of your generous nature or to punish for past mistakes? Once you have done Talk it out with someone you trust if your behavior stems from the latter.

Don’t let self-denial ruin your life. Take control today and make the choice to change.

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Anointed Authors on Tour consists of seven award-winning, bestselling authors of Christian fiction and non-fiction publications with a commitment to write and/or publish integrity-based literature, touring as a testament to the power of using gifts and talents for God’s glory. Over the next two weeks, plan to meet Kendra Norman Bellamy, Tia McCollors, Vanessa Miller, Michelle Stimpson, Shewanda Riley, and Dr. Vivi Monroe Congress. Each of these authors have current and upcoming book releases that are must-reads for your summer reading list.

Meet Dr. Vivi Monroe Congress

Are you a full-time writer? If so, describe your day?

Not at this time. My day is full with the schedules of my children.

How do you balance your writing time and family time?

With great difficulty (smile). But in all honesty, writing always comes in second to family.

Would you say you are an extrovert or introvert?

I’d have to say I’m mostly extroverted but I do have introverted moments.

Do you like to cook? If so, what are your favorite dishes to cook?

I’m pretty okay in the kitchen but cooking is more of a necessity than a pastime for me. However, I do make a mean ribs dish crockpot style!

What movie(s) have you watched recently that you would recommend?

Seven Pounds and The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons.

What one piece of advice did someone give that still sticks with you to this day?

“SAVE for a rainy day”, compliments of my father.

What brings you the most joy?

Presently, it would be the patio swing I gifted myself with for Mother’s Day where I hope many bestsellers will be conceived!

Follow the rest of the Summer Reading with Anointed Authors Blog Tour at http://bit.ly/SummerReadingwithAnointedAuthors

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