I also want to offer outgoing Program Director Meredith Fenton my best wishes for her future endeavors. She was a great help in promoting Blogging for LGBT Families Day among COLAGErs and has always been willing to help build connections between the community of LGBT parents and that of our children (which aren’t always two separate communities, when it comes right down to it).

Please contact COLAGE with any questions about the below.

COLAGE is excited to announce two opportunities to join our team. We are hiring a full-time National Program Director and a part-time national Communications Coordinator.

The COLAGE Program Director is the lead staff for the program department of the organization. The Program Director serves an essential role in providing leadership, strategic direction, management, coordination, development, execution and evaluation of the organization’s programs. The Program Director also builds and maintains collaborative relationships and partnerships with other local, statewide, and national organizations, with the goal of enabling as many people with LGBTQ parents as possible to connect with each other and advocate for what matters most to people with LGBTQ parents.

The COLAGE Communications Coordinator performs a broad variety of communications functions. We are looking for a skilled, creative, and committed person to assist us in taking our print and online communications to the next level. Primary responsibilities include on-line organizing, editing the COLAGE publication, Just For Us, writing and publishing COLAGE Net News, producing membership communications pieces including an Annual Report, support of organizational media and advocacy efforts through action alerts and public education campaigns and managing the COLAGE website.

View the details of both job openings by clicking HERE.

• The House Oversight & Government Reform Committee approved the Domestic Partnership Benefits & Obligations Act, which would offer the same benefits, including health insurance and pensions, to same-sex partners of federal workers and to opposite-sex spouses. (This news comes via the DC Agenda, the reincarnated Washington Blade.)
• The Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that a gay federal lawyer who was denied government health coverage for his husband after their marriage last year, is entitled to extra pay to cover private insurance for him.
• During her confirmation hearing for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, openly lesbian nominee Chai Feldblum answered questions about whether she supported polygamy. The questions came because she had signed the document “Beyond Same-Sex Marriage: A New Strategic Vision for All Our Families & Relationships,” which talks of valuing various types of families including “committed, loving households in which there is more than one conjugal partner.” Feldblum said she had asked for her signature to be removed from the document.

U.S. State News

• Bil at Bilerico reminds us that politicians in several states, including Kentucky, Michigan, and Ohio, have introduced legislation to repeal their state’s amendments banning marriage for same-sex couples, but he questions their motives when none of the states have even been able to pass arguably simpler LGBT-inclusive anti-discrimination measures.
• Lambda Legal filed a federal lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Tucson, Arizona to block a move to strip domestic partner benefits from gay and lesbian state employees.
• Tampa, Florida has added “gender identity” to its human rights ordinance that bans discrimination in housing, employment and public accommodation.
• A new poll found that 46 percent of adult residents in New Jersey want marriage rights for same-sex couples while 42 percent oppose them. Twelve percent of respondents were undecided.
• New York’s highest court upheld policies giving some government benefits to same-sex couples who have legally married outside the state, focusing on the narrow question of benefits in the cases before them, but leaving open the issue of whether all marriages of same-sex couples performed outside the state should be recognized.
• North Carolina State Sen. Julia Boseman (D-New Hanover), the only openly gay or lesbian member of the General Assembly, announced she will not seek re-election when her term ends in 2010, citing family responsibilities. Boseman, already a mother with a previous partner, is expecting a child with her current partner in January.
• Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker signed nondiscrimination ordinances banning sexual-orientation-based discrimination in employment and housing. Religious institutions, employers with fewer than 15 employees, and landlords with fewer than 3 properties are exempt.
• The Washington, D.C. Board of Elections & Ethics said a proposed voter initiative filed by a Maryland minister that seeks to ban gay marriage would violate the city’s Human Rights Act, which prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Around the World

• If one same-sex partner needs to apply for immigration in Australia, couples will now not need to have lived together for 12 months prior to applying. They may instead simply sign up with a state-based registry in the Australian Capital territory (ACT), Victoria or Tasmania. Couples may also be exempted if they have not lived together for reasons such as ongoing work commitments or having lived in a country where homosexuality is illegal.
• Austria’s government approved civil partnerships for same-sex couples, although ceremonies at the civil registry’s office are still banned.
• South African runner Castor Semenya will get to keep the gold medal and prize money she won at the World Athletics Championships in Berlin, Germany, said the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF), after her win was called into question by allegations that she is is intersex.

Here are some resources to help spread understanding:

• Trans Youth Family Allies is a terrific organization helping parents of transgender and gender variant children, as is Gender Spectrum Family.
• The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals, by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper, is a great resource for parents and educators. The Kids of Trans Resource Guide, by Monica Canfield-Lenfest of the COLAGE Kids of Trans program, looks from the flip side. Here’s my review of both.
• This American Life On Transgender Children: The NPR show did a great piece in February profiling two eight-year-old transgender children. The segment starts about 29 minutes into the show.
• 10,000 Dresses, by Marcus Ewert, is a delightful picture book with a transgender protagonist. My review and author interview is here.
• Another great read is Transparent, Cris Beam’s gripping book on homeless transgender teens. Here’s my post about it.

I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through them.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s quote is from Syrus Marcus Ware’s “Boldly Going Where Few Men Have Gone Before: One Trans Man’s Experience”:

There have been many funny moments through our journey (mixing up the donor number on the day of the insemination!), and my gender has been challenged in countless ways (injections of female hormones into my stomach every day! Trans-vaginal ultrasounds! A lack of man-ternity clothes!), but more importantly those closest to me see me for who I am: a trans man and soon-to-be dad. We have many more experiences to go through over the next nine months, but for now I am having rather gender-less and pretty common questions and concerns. . . . Why did no one ever tell me that to be pregnant is to be gassy all the time?

Remember the uproar when former MISS CALIFORNIA USA Carrie Prejean said that she opposed marriage equality during the pageant? Rather than agree to EQCA’s invitation to meet with us and an LGBT family, she used her 15 minutes of fame to become the spokesmodel for the right-wing National Organization for Marriage.

Now, the MISS CALIFORNIA USA pageant has offered EQCA and Ms. Prejean 30 seconds each during this Sunday’s broadcast. We are showing an ad featuring Mary Kate, the teenage daughter of lesbian moms, who talks from the heart about her family and how discrimination in marriage hurts real people, including children.

Here’s the ad:

Brava, Mary Kate!

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

• The Massachusetts legislature held a hearing on an anti-bullying bill that would include sexual orientation and gender identity as protected categories. Sirdeaner Walker of Springfield, Mass., whose 11-year-old son, Carl J. Walker-Hoover, committed suicide in April after being subject to extensive anti-gay taunts, was among those who spoke at the hearing.
• Lawyer Julie Shapiro offers some advice for lesbian couples who have used a sperm donor (known or unknown), but who wish that only the two women are the legal parents. (Via Gay Couples Law Blog. As always, seek the advice of a lawyer who knows your personal circumstances and the laws in your state.)

Personal Stories

• Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, an openly gay 19-year-old, was found murdered by the side of the road in Cayey, Puerto Rico in what seems to be a hate crime. Kate Kendell of the National Center for Lesbian Rights discusses the tragedy, along with the news of 10-year-old Will Phillips, who is refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance at his school until there is “liberty and justice for all,” including LGBT Americans. With more students like Phillips, Kendell says, maybe there will be no more tragedies like that of Mercado.
• We’re not quite there yet, however. Gay Baltimore teen Jason Mattison Jr. was found last week raped, stabbed, and gagged in the closet of an aunt. The reason behind his death remains unclear. One of his teachers, however, has written a touching portrait of his life.
• HRC is continuing its series of blog posts for National Adoption Month, with entries from LGBT foster/adoptive parents, adults who were adopted by LGBT parents, and child welfare professionals. They are also holding a Web chat today at 3 p.m. ET.
• Amie Klempnauer Miller, a non-bio mom, tells her story of second-parent adoption.
• The Boston Globe’s Child Caring section addresses the letter of a mom with a seemingly gender-variant child. The Globe “experts,” while sympathetic, refer the mom to the work of Dr. Kenneth Zucker, whose approach (not letting children express the gender they wish to express) has been shunned by many in the transgender and allied community. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force has even issued an official statement questioning his appointment as chair of the Committee on Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders for the revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V). Kim Pearson, head of Trans Youth Family Allies, has left a very diplomatic comment on the Globe article, urging the parents to join the parental chat group at the TYFA site. If you see articles like this in the future, I would likewise recommend leaving a comment referring people to TYFA. They’re good folks.
• On a related note, Father Tony at Bilerico replies very sensibly to a gay dad who is afraid of dressing up too flamboyantly now that he has a son.
• Brett Hartinger at After Elton reviews Fatherhood Dreams, a documentary about three gay families. (I haven’t seen it, myself, but will also mention again the new documentary Preacher’s Sons, which is excellent. I reviewed it here.)

Resources

• If you are an LGBTQ parent or prospective parent in the New York City area, you may want to check out the Family Q workshop series, run by the Institute for Human Identity. I reported on them for 365gay.com.
• The National Youth Advocacy Coalition has released a self-guided, video training module and resource bank for creating safe spaces for LGBTQ youth. They say, “If you are looking for a place to learn how to make your organization or community space more friendly and welcoming to LGBTQ youth, this is one way that we can help.” The Safe Spaces Training Module is a series of six videos that can be accessed at any time.

Science?

• “Gay Uncle” Brett Berk reports on a study that claims that phthalates, chemicals used in a variety of common household products, may cause women to give birth to boys who exhibit “less masculine” play behaviors. Berk sensibly asks, “So what?” (I hasten to add that he’s not really endorsing the use of questionable chemicals on children, just taking aim at stereotyped gender roles. It’s a very funny article, though, so go read.)

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s quote is from Anika Stafford’s “Beyond Normalization: An Analysis of Heteronormativity in Children’s Picture Books”:

The normalizing trends within children’s picture books depicting characters in same-sex relationships often shortchange literary quality and the ability to effectively convey a political message. Analyzing the books from both a literary and political framework, I found the concept of difference is often used in a problematic way. While espousing a politic of valuing diversity, the message frequently asserted is, conversely, that those outside the heterosexual mainstream are “okay” because they are normal and just like everyone else. If difference is only celebrated because it matches the status quo, then it is assimilation rather than difference that is actually being celebrated.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne Cheney, welcomed their seventh grandchild, Sarah Lynne Cheney, Wednesday, November 18, 2009. She weighed 6 lbs., 14 oz and was born at 8:17 A.M. at Sibley Hospital in Washington, D.C. Her parents are the Cheneys’ daughter Mary and her partner, Heather Poe.

Although many of us, myself included, don’t like Mary’s politics, her existence proves that lesbian and gay families are indeed everywhere. As I’ve said before, despite her lackluster record, she may in fact be the kind of bridge we need to win over more people in support of our cause. The fact is, we’re not going to gain equality by turning everyone into liberals (much as I might like that). We’re going to win equality by convincing centrists and conservatives (though perhaps not ultra-conservatives) to join liberals in supporting our rights. The LGBT community is mad at Mary for not having been vocal about LGBT rights, and for backing the campaigns of those who are against them. We should be. But her mere existence may help persuade people that LGBT rights are more than just some liberal hogwash. Imagine what could happen if she really applied herself.

First, though, I expect she’ll be spending many sleepless nights with little Sarah Lynne. Some things really are bipartisan.

The song dates from 1982, according to the Muppet Wiki. Given the era, it remains unclear whether they were referring to a child with gay dads or a child with a straight dad and a stepdad. (If they were really into including LGBT families, you’d think we would have heard at least one other mention of them since.) Still, it’s a great song about family diversity to have on your playlist. Interpret it in whatever way works for you.

(I should also note that the folks behind Dottie have a new CD in the works, “The Super Secret Seashell Cave.” It’s available for preorder through their Web site, along with their lesbian- and gay-inclusive kids’ DVD.)