Look for Erin Lee and Marci here on the first Monday of each month, or visit their homepage, www.gottaplay.org.

I’ve created links to Amazon for the full albums (click the album image or name), plus links to Amazon MP3 downloads, when available, for those who want only the singles. (Click the song name.) I also have a widget after the jump that will let you preview most of the songs without leaving Mombian.

Happy New Year Everyone!

We can’t wait to see what the New Year will bring. We thought we’d start 2010 off with a bang and so we approached this month’s column a little differently than previous columns. We asked our musical friends at Kindiefest what their hopes, dreams and goals would be for 2010 and if they had any songs that reflected that. We were blown away by the songs that were shared with us. So we’ve an abundance of heartfelt tunes and wishes to pass on!

Enjoy!

“Everything Possible” (Cathy and Marcy, Nobody Else Like Me – Celebrating the Diversity of Children)

Back in the early ’90s Grammy winners Cathy and Marcy were trailblazing with a stunning rendition of Fred Small’s “Everything Possible.” A parent tucking their child in at night offers words of comfort and unconditional love, with the hope that their child grows to be anything they wanted, with no limits or censorship from the world.

I will sing you a song no one sang to me
May it keep you good company
You can be anybody you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still

Wouldn’t the world be a wonderful place if every child were able to hear these words from their parents?

“A World of Happiness” (HyLo, A World of Happiness)

HyLo’s mission is a great one to adopt for the New Year: teach kindness, compassion, tolerance and self-reliance to children of all ages. The title track from the CD A World of Happiness encapsulates the spirit of building a better world through sharing, loving, giving and having fun – and to top it off, it is delivered by the late, great Lou Rawls:

Come on everybody, join in with me
All you children around the world
You know you can make the world a better place
All you gotta do is keep a smile on your baby’s face

Written, arranged and produced by Tor Hyams, this CD picks up the torch from Free to Be…You and Me and gallops with it – so do yourself and your family a favor and just go buy the whole darn thing now!

“We’ll Build a Better World” (Roger Day, Why Does Gray Matter?)

Well, since we’re reminiscing about the ’70s kids music scene, we would be sorely remiss in not mentioning that Roger Day’s new CD Why Does Gray Matter? sure does remind us of School House Rock! All of the songs are literally smart and brainy, but the tune “We’ll Build a Better World” is also about hopes and dreams. It’s a great mission for the New Year.

You and I, we’ll make each other smarter
And then we’ll leave a brighter future when we’re done
Oh, we’ll build a better world

“This Year” (Erin Lee & Marci, Snowdance)

Our song for January is a joyous celebration of all the good things to come in the New Year – because our narrators are wiser for all the mistakes they made last year. This song is a list of all the things that our narrators did last year that they now know to never, never, do again this year – like shampooing the hamster, feeding the cat Play-Doh, and do-it-yourself haircuts with unfortunate results. Live and learn!

We believe in getting kids music out of the ipod and into homes or classrooms! Whether you write something, draw something or get on your feet and do something, find an activity to tie music into daily life. So in each blog we’ll offer a tried and true accompanying activity.

Write Something New: Make a list of New Year’s Resolutions. What are some things that you would like to do that you’ve never done before? What are some things that you did this year that you now know to never do again?

Do Something New: The Narrator suggests that some rather bad things happened last year. Act out scenes that are described in the song – when the Narrator shampooed her brother’s hamster, buried the car keys, blamed her messy room on an elf. Then, act out what happened when her family discovered what she had done!

PS: It wouldn’t be New Year’s if we didn’t make just one resolution, so here’s one we’re intending to keep: “Be Good to Your Mama” Check out The Mudcakes groovy ode to Mamas on their CD Songs for Little Monkeys. Most of this Australian duo’s songs are geared for the younger set, but this one is so funkadelic that mamas and kids everywhere will be shaking their booty and singing along with their best Australian accent. We are!

Miller has been incommunicado with her lawyers and apparently missing for more than a month. She was supposed to turn Isabella over to Jenkins at 1 p.m. ET today.

Judge William Cohen had granted sole custody of 7-year-old Isabella to Jenkins, her non-biological mother, because of Miller’s continued refusal to allow Isabella even to visit Jenkins. Jenkins, however, was willing to allow Miller to continue visitation. The judge felt that giving Jenkins custody was the only way to ensure Isabella would continue to have contact with both parents.

More to come, I’m sure.

May the year be full of love, happiness, peace, and equality for all.

Special wishes to same-sex couples in New Hampshire who are now able to marry. (It is, however, rather cold here in New England at the moment. I suggest a Polarfleece theme for your reception.)

A nod, too, to Californians, who are welcoming three pieces of legislation that expand rights for LGBT people:

• The Marriage Recognition and Family Protection Act, which states that same-sex couples married in any state or nation anytime before the passage of Proposition 8 must be recognized as married spouses in California. The new statute also confirms that same-sex couples married outside of California after November 5, 2008, must be given all of the rights, protections and responsibilities of married spouses under California law, with the sole exception of the designation of “marriage.”
• The LGBT Domestic Violence Programs Expansion Bill, which expands access for LGBT service providers to a state fund within the California Emergency Management Agency, which supports LGBT-specific domestic violence programs across the state. The new law also allows for more than four organizations to apply for programmatic funding each fiscal cycle and eliminates the requirement for providers to offer shelter – impediments to many smaller LGBT organizations.
• Harvey Milk Day, which will be celebrated on May 22, 2010, the first time in the nation’s history that a state will officially recognize and celebrate the contributions of an openly LGBT person with an annual “day of special significance.”

This is awful, but given the Boy Scout’s previous history with gay matters, it is perhaps not surprising. (For the record, I also have a serious problem with the fact that the Boy Scouts don’t allow atheists or agnostics to be leaders, either.)

What is interesting, however, and what I hope will stir some discussion among those of you who are around over the holiday, is this comment from one of the mothers:

Cate Wirth said Tuesday that she expects her son to remain in Scouting, despite this incident. And as of Tuesday afternoon, she had not told the boy about the comments.

“I still think Scouts is a good thing for him because he doesn’t have a dad and he’s really drawn to a lot of stereotypical male stuff that Scouting does, outdoorsy stuff,” Wirth said. “I don’t want my personal issues to impact his life in that way. I was concerned if he knew about it he might be uncomfortable going.”

She said of her decision to allow him to continue in Scouts, “Politically, if he weren’t a 10-year-old boy I’d feel differently about it. I wouldn’t support the organization. But his needs come first.”

First, kudos to Wirth for putting her son’s needs and interests above all. I’m not sure I could have resisted the urge to yank my son out of the organization.

At the same time, I find myself uneasy about her words. “Stereotypically male stuff” does not in fact need to be done by a male. That’s one of the arguments trotted out by those who say all children should have a mother and a father, so let’s put that old canard to rest right now. My opinion is that yes, there are certain ineffable things about being male that are usually best conveyed by someone who identifies with that gender (parent or otherwise). Specific activities, on the other hand, should not be so gendered.

If the Wirths are not outdoorsy types themselves, however, that is fine. I’d like to imagine, though, that there are options other than the Boy Scouts for their son—but then again, without knowing their particular location, schedules, etc., it is hard for me to say. Perhaps the Boy Scouts are indeed the best alternative for them. The whole situation reminds me of the many trade-offs we must make as parents. Again, they deserve credit for making what must be a hard decision.

I have to wonder, though: Tanney told them, “We wouldn’t want you pushing your lifestyle on the boys.” How long before their son lets slip a remark about having two moms or accidentally reveals a family photo that he tucked away in his backpack? Would the Scouts go so far as to reject the son of lesbian moms, regardless of his own sexual orientation, because of the danger of exposing other boys to their “lifestyle”?

What would you do in their situation? Do you feel it is necessary to give your children exposure to male influence (or female influence if you’re a gay dad), and if so, how do you do it?

Thomas Beatie, a transgender man, caused a stir when he announced his first pregnancy in 2008. He was not the first transgender man to give birth, but the publicity he generated made him the first transgender parent many people had seen. Despite the tabloid headlines, he may have opened some eyes about what it means both to be a parent and to be trans. He and his wife Nancy welcomed their second child into the world this past June.

Jane Castor, a 25-year veteran of the Tampa Police Department, out lesbian, and mother of two, was named the department’s new chief. She will be the first woman to serve as chief of that city, and the first lesbian police chief statewide.

Mary Cheney and her partner Heather Poe are probably not most readers’ favorite lesbian couple. Say what you will about their politics, they did make the news this year when Cheney gave birth to their second child.

Cat Cora, in her seventh season as one of the Food Network’s Iron Chefs, welcomed a third child in April (carried by Cat’s spouse Jennifer) followed by a fourth (carried by Cat) in July. Cat also launched a new restaurant, Kouzzina, at Disney World in Florida.

Jenny Durkan was confirmed by the U.S. Senate to become U.S. attorney for the Western District of Washington. She lives in Seattle with her partner and two sons.

Frank Martin Gill and his partner’s struggle for Gill to adopt the two boys they have been fostering for four years led to a 2008 Florida court ruling that the state ban on adoption by lesbian and gay people was unconstitutional. The state appealed, and a hearing on the case was held in August.

Janet Jenkins and her former partner (and “ex-lesbian”) Lisa Miller made headlines in Newsweek for their interstate custody battle, just days before the U.S. Supreme Court let stand a ruling that Virginia must enforce a Vermont court order awarding visitation rights to Jenkins. Most recently, a Vermont court granted sole custody of 7-year-old Isabella to Jenkins, her non-biological mother, because of Miller’s continued refusal to obey court orders and allow Isabella to visit Jenkins. As of this writing, however, Miller’s whereabouts is unknown and she has ceased contact with her attorneys. It remains to be seen if she will turn over Isabella to Jenkins on January 1 as ordered.

Janice Langbehn’s lawsuit against a Florida hospital was rejected by a U.S. District Court in Florida. Langbehn had been kept apart from her partner who lay dying in a Florida hospital. The couple’s three children were kept from her as well.

Rosie and Kelli O’Donnell: Unfortunately, they make the list this year because of the news of their breakup. They win points, however, by doing so with stated concern for their children’s well being. “They’re adorable and wonderful and they are by far a priority,” O’Donnell told USA Today. “We will both continue to parent them and we’re friendly and everything’s all right.” No Jenkins-Miller-like custody disputes here.

Annise Parker won election as mayor of Houston, making her the first openly gay or lesbian mayor of a major U.S. city.

Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir became prime minister of Iceland, the first out lesbian (and lesbian mom) to be a head of state. She was also named to Forbes annual list of the world’s 100 Most Powerful Women.

E. Denise Simmons, the mother of four and grandmother of three, took office last January as mayor of Cambridge, Massachusetts, making her the nation’s first openly lesbian, African-American mayor. This year, she made headlines not only for her work as mayor, but also for her marriage to Mattie Hayes.

Wanda Sykes came out as a lesbian in 2008. This year, she and her spouse Alex welcomed their first children, twins Olivia Lou and Lucas Claude. Sykes also made headlines this year for being the featured entertainer at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, the first African American woman and first openly LGBT person to get the role. In November, she premiered The Wanda Sykes Show.

These aren’t the only LGBT parents who had an impact, of course, just the ones who got the most coverage for their actions. Is that meaningful? Considering they are the public face of LGBT parenting, for better or worse, I’d say yes. Anyone else you’d add?

In November, Judge Cohen granted sole custody of 7-year-old Isabella to Jenkins, her non-biological mother, because of Miller’s continued refusal to allow Isabella even to visit Jenkins. Jenkins, however, was willing to allow Miller to continue visitation. The judge felt that giving Jenkins custody was the only way to ensure Isabella would continue to have contact with both parents.

Judge Cohen recently issued a decision saying that he could not delay the order, partly because Miller has neither appeared in court nor spoken with her attorneys (from the conservative Liberty Counsel) for over a month.

My thoughts are with Isabella. I dearly hope that Miller is simply spending some personal time with her daughter before the upcoming change in their lives, and not going into long-term hiding or doing anything else that would be detrimental to Isabella’s well being.

We’ll know on Friday. Stay tuned.

• A must-read this week is Jacob M. Appel’s piece on the growing “sperm donors’ rights movement,” in which donors are trying to assert their claims to parenthood.
• New Mexico’s new parentage laws go into effect on January 1, Nancy Polikoff reminds us. The Really Quite Wonderful new law states: “a person who…consents to assisted reproduction…with the intent to be the parent of a child is a parent of the resulting child.” The non-biological parent is supposed to consent in writing, but will still be considered a parent if she resided with the child during the first two years of the child’s life “and openly held out the child as [her] own.” Washington, D.C. enacted a similar law last July. Nancy has more on what this all means and how New Mexico recognizes same-sex couples in other ways.
• Mexico City became the first city in Latin America to legalize marriage for same-sex couples—and smartly also allowing them to adopt children.
• On a related note, Equality California Executive Director Geoff Kors writes of the need to create safe environments for LGBT youth, saying, “We need to make it clear to the broader public—and parents in particular—that the danger isn’t in students learning about LGBT people in school, but rather the danger is in students not learning about LGBT people in school. We need to take on our opponents and call out these adult bullies for the very real harm they cause to LGBT youth—harm that lasts a lifetime.”

Schools and Youth

• Maria José Muñoz and Rafael Pineda are non-LGBT parents from self-described conservative backgrounds. They are also the parents of “a beautiful, happy and healthy transgender child attending school in Alameda” and wrote a piece for Inside Bay Area taking fellow Alameda parent and “ex-gay” Kerry Cook to task for her remarks that being transgender is a mental illness. (For more on the Alameda kerfuffle over the school district’s anti-bullying curriculum, see my last roundup.
• Psychiatrist Serena Yuan Volpp has a good piece at HuffPo on how marriage equality can teach children to be more tolerant of others. “Marriage equality,” she asserts, “can change society so that peers—and parents—can, if not embrace, accept homosexuality as part of the world in which we live.”
• The Point Foundation, the nation’s largest scholarship-granting organization for LGBT students, has opened its 2010 application season. Students who will be enrolled in undergraduate or graduate programs for the 2010-11 school year are eligible to apply for the multi-year scholarships. Candidates should have demonstrated academic excellence, leadership skills, community involvement and financial need. Particular attention is paid to students who have lost the financial and social support of their families and/or communities as a result of revealing their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. The average amount of annual support for each scholar is between $25,000-$33,000, and also includes “programmatic support in leadership training, community service and mentoring.” The application deadline for this year’s scholarships is February 12, 2010.

Personal Stories

• Paige Schilt’s “Timetables: Trains, Gender, Empathy” at Bilerico is a great piece about gift-giving, gender, and child development.

You can now get Mombian delivered right to your Kindle. It costs $1.99 per month (after a 14-day free trial); the advantage over the free version here is that you can get it anywhere you have a wireless Kindle connection—which is just about anywhere the AT&T network reaches. On the bus, in the park, at your child’s basketball game—you name it. (Don’t let a stray ball hit the Kindle, however.)

Enjoy!

I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through them.

Having said that it is not a part of my own family tradition, I should add: Last night at dinner, we were talking about various holidays. Helen’s side of the family is white and Protestant, and mine is Eastern European Jewish, though not observant. I’m a practicing atheist who spent my grad school years studying the medieval Catholic worldview. Our son, raised in our “We celebrate everything!” tradition, at one point proclaimed, “Let’s celebrate Kwanzaa!” and proceeded to demonstrate that he knew quite a lot about it, including its purpose and the meaning of the colors on the Kwanzaa candles. Let’s hear it for our modern, multi-cultural public education system. He was quite adamant that he wanted to observe it because he likes the idea of a harvest festival and celebrating people of all skin colors.

I can’t argue with that, although I am also aware of the dangers associated with cultural appropriation. Still, I see nothing wrong with simply talking about each of the Seven Principles of Kwanzaa during the course of the week. We’ll use it as an opportunity for raising our cultural awareness as well as discussing some of the commonalities across all our observances. Gotta go look up some kid-friendly poems or other short readings that might apply. (Suggestions welcome.)

Whatever holiday or holidays you observe, may you rejoice in your family’s heritage and your own unique interpretation of it.

Posting will be light here for a few days as I spend time playing with my son’s new toys. (He’ll have a lot; we can take turns.)