tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070Fri, 01 Nov 2024 10:38:17 +0000FrankMarcieLoveMemoriesMomentFriendsMourningThoughtsGriefMemorialStatusQueen MarcieFamilyPainVisitsGratitudeThe PlanLustQuirkyThanksPlansPhotosWanderingTiredDreamsNightMorningFunnyNotesMarriageThe AngelsSeamusSickCaregivingPoetryRecipesUncertaintyWeirdEventsResourcesGiftsGood NewsGripesMoviesFoodBad NewsBloggersSan Francisco TripHelpHong KongDirectionsMusicAnniversaryHospiceLammaRulesCharactersCookingHolidaysPressTech IssuesProudSnarkWelcomeStartupKomenNatalie MerchantPhoenix TripA blog about Marcelyn Ann Stoddard's final days with breast cancer and her husband's and friends' efforts to establish a perpetual memorial to her.http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)Blogger364125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-1912685693980981627Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:39:00 +00002009-11-24T18:08:23.763-08:00AnniversaryFrankGratitudeGripesMarcieSo the anniversary came and went, but my account would not let me log in. Hmm... perhaps a sign?No, not a sign at all :) My previous home account changed and was delayed. In addition to a nice meal and a bottle of wine, our anniversary generally meant Marcie and I would review the year.All I have to go on is what she decided to give me in the last months we had. Basically, she foreshadowed a lot http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/11/anniversay-thwarted.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-7283114905411576703Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:21:00 +00002009-11-01T18:50:50.513-08:00DreamsFamilyFrankFriendsGratitudeHelpMomentI woke into the dream and the warmth of her on my lap. She was listening but looking at me often and smiling. I didn't understand the whole thing at all, everything was in broken stutters and rapid clicking and syllables, all running together in bits I could discern then not.For some reason, I decided to speak, "I don't think I understand," I said. "Could you repeat that more slowly?" I asked, http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/11/lessons-in-mansion-of-my-heart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-8500529782626589874Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:26:00 +00002009-10-29T11:33:52.694-07:00AnniversaryLoveMarcieMarriageMemorialStatusSeamus was too cold to not sleep all night between my legs, which is nice in its own way, and I woke with him mewing and cuddling tight. I remember him laying long between us, stretched out, on his back, paws stuck in the sheets while he kitty-snored, every night from fall to early spring.I guess those cuddle nights are back!I fully awoke and lit a candle I had saved for this year, smiled and http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/10/wonderful-morning.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-9123154040302370635Sun, 25 Oct 2009 01:42:00 +00002009-10-24T18:56:32.882-07:00LoveMarcieMemoriesMomentPainStatusI remember this week two years ago, and it has been weighing on me again. Her shallow breaths, her little hopeful moments and the long periods of pain in between for us both, the visits from harried Hospice workers, all of it.I do not know why my mind and heart return to that place so strongly and vividly as they do now, but I certainly feel the sadness and sense of being forlorn, punctuated by http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/10/remembering-it-all-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-3706100643746524947Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:20:00 +00002009-10-19T16:45:43.655-07:00DreamsFrankMarcieQuirkyVisitsWanderingWeirdPreface: I have been trying to revisit this for the last week, but it did not return until last night. I stopped thinking about the dream and just slept, doing a little breathing exercise to relax and fall deeply asleep.However, Marcie did pop into a dream I was having about a hike in Humboldt County.I was wandering around the forest above Humboldt State with some long-lost Zendik pals and my oldhttp://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/10/lessons-in-mansion-of-my-heart-3.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-107004417638978363Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:32:00 +00002009-10-13T11:35:45.219-07:00FrankFriendsNotesPoetryQuirkyThoughtsSomeone at an Irish bar asked me a few days ago where Marcie's grave was and if I visited. I said, "She visits me!" At her quizzical look, I explained Marcie's cremains were in the house and slowly being spread over the world. When I see this lass again, which may be far in the future, I will share this poem I found, which itself is Irish:Do Not Stand at My Grave and WeepDo not stand at my grave http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/10/question-answered-by-older-poet.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-7563028385208431139Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:14:00 +00002009-10-12T14:01:42.957-07:00DreamsFamilyFriendsLoveMarcieMomentVisitsI watched her sway around and put on her jewelry. She was always so simple in her tastes for it. Here, in the opulence of this place, she still wore simple earrings, with little blue stones hanging from hair-thin but brilliant golden threads. She smiled at me in the mirror as I watched, then said, "You should get up and get ready, we are meeting some friends on the other side of campus."I got up http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/10/lessons-in-mansion-of-my-heart-2.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-321961903365919443Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:19:00 +00002009-10-09T16:03:36.423-07:00CookingDreamsFrankLoveMarcieQueen MarcieSo there we were, riding in a bus. We had done this often in our early years, but this was no ordinary commute. We were sitting in luxury, and everyone was chatting about their classes and plans for the week."Isn't this awesome?" Marcie asked, smiling and sipping her blue-tinted glass, recently filled with a Cosmo a man with a cart shook for her as her passed."It certainly is big, and it http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/10/lessons-in-mansion-of-my-heart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-5537941431170893674Sun, 04 Oct 2009 04:13:00 +00002009-10-03T21:29:21.853-07:00FrankFriendsMomentPhoenix TripTiredWanderingSo tonight on the way back from my friend Vince's in Phoenix, I nearly died. I hit a big rock in a pile of rubble and went a little on two wheels, steered and fishtailed, then oversteered and did a donut on highway 8, stopping barely in time.But what happened in my head as it all was going on really is why this is here. I just remember thinking as the car spun toward the edge of the Tecate Dividehttp://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/10/almost-home.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-6008479443314251130Wed, 30 Sep 2009 09:10:00 +00002009-10-04T01:38:54.952-07:00GripesLoveMarciePainThe PlanSo you said you would never forgive me if I ever never loved again. I have, but not as wholly as I did you. There just wasn't time. But there was time for some joy and laughs and even travel, and some of it was so very satisfying. I need you to trust me, baby. I am going to get there again someday. But for now, some of the blessings you gave me, I realize (in these times), will just sit like http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/09/if-you-ever-never-love-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-5255296799878005935Wed, 08 Apr 2009 21:54:00 +00002009-04-08T15:00:20.085-07:00DirectionsFrankMarciePlansStatusThoughtsI have started writing the book in earnest when I have time and inspiration, but am holding it all offline until it is ready for submission and editing. Thank you for the words of encouragement, folks :)I will be posting a personal blog for myself soon enough as this process evolves, and let some of you readers in on my current activities and work. My journey does continue, and in some new http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/04/work-is-in-progress.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-8283686502491855786Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:24:00 +00002009-02-10T15:30:01.420-08:00FrankGood NewsPlansThoughtsVisitsWanderingMarcie knew my friend Chris Cerutti pretty well and was able to help him out with a ride home once when we worked together. I've known him since the old Gashaus days. It was good to hear from you, man!He lives in Portland now, and contacted me on Facebook. Interestingly enough, this is a place I am considering moving, along with San Francisco, Hong Kong and Canada. Maybe I will pop in for a visithttp://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/02/old-friends-and-plans-to-put-in-place.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-3272211216805438935Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:22:00 +00002009-01-20T20:36:42.924-08:00FrankLoveMarcieMomentQuirkyVisitsI had a little visit that I sorely needed. I was inexplicably sitting at the Kensington Coffee Company in my slippers. I knew it was likely okay to do so, but I also knew it was not what I might choose, myself, to do.I was also drinking tea. I noticed another cup across from me and I recognized the burnt red shade Marcie had always work to work. It was the same, unmeasurable and unquantifiable http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/01/visitstea-with-marcie.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-4969128221641724014Sun, 18 Jan 2009 01:21:00 +00002009-01-17T17:38:53.214-08:00FrankLoveMarcieMarriageMemoriesQueen MarcieQuirkySometimes, we had no time for each other. Those empty reaches of our love still haunt me, too. There was so much we could have done with it.We had opposing schedules often. Sometimes, I would be in school and working while she held down her 9-5 or 8-5, even 7 to 4 schedule. These times were made even rougher by her and my need to run everywhere to maintain our harried modern life.They feel so http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/01/on-time-and-being.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-184700434217343685Sat, 03 Jan 2009 04:06:00 +00002009-01-13T11:23:32.940-08:00FrankLoveMarcieMemoriesMomentMourningPainThanksThoughtsMarcie was strong. She cried, and then she sometimes held it all in, too. But she always broke down when she talked about the people she would leave behind."Oh, my mom," she said. "My mom is going to be devastated. I don't know what she's going to do."I held her hand and she squeezed it as the tears oozed from her eyes and she gulped. I ached to my core.I hated to see her cry. In all my time withhttp://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2009/01/so-hard-to-let-us-go.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-8573596207112876748Thu, 18 Dec 2008 23:28:00 +00002008-12-18T15:32:44.178-08:00CaregivingHolidaysMarcieMemorialMemoriesProudThanksI have tried stepping away for a while, but my need to post and reflect and speak of and to and about Marcie has not faded. Some of the things I have not spoken of before include our conversations as the last few months slowly crawled by. They were painful at times, but I can now recall them and understand how they made her so beautiful. Marcie mourned her own life very briefly. But what she http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/12/marcies-mourning.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-6920337222413949509Tue, 09 Dec 2008 06:43:00 +00002009-02-10T15:24:03.180-08:00FrankStatusIt has been a busy season, for sure. I have started a business, begun preparations for a move and also started selling things from our home. After working from a computer screen all day, it is hard to simply tack Marcie on. Work behind the scenes continues on her book and my trip. We'll see how the financial situation out there looks when the time is nigh. In the mean time, I have planned to http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/12/longer-road-than-i-wanted.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-3709277383359331738Sun, 23 Nov 2008 22:33:00 +00002008-11-23T14:50:41.946-08:00FrankFriendsGratitudeLoveMarcieMemoriesMomentNotesPhotosProudI was recently returned a flash memory card with some precious memories on it. I decided that I would share Marcie's joy at a trip kindly provided by our friends Walt and Lisa Soto... out along the California Coast, sailing. It was a beautiful and enjoyable day, and a perfect one for Marcie, whose taste buds were finally ready for regular food again. We were definitely in a recovery mode, and http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/11/day-in-sun.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-2496383214722049216Sun, 16 Nov 2008 22:22:00 +00002009-02-14T10:51:43.174-08:00AnniversaryGratitudeLoveMarcieMemoriesMomentQueen MarcieThanksDear Beloved,I have been rummaging through gifts, reflecting on all of those you gave me. Some of them are more abstract, and this one no less so, perhaps moreso, than any other. You taught me to forgive again.I do not know where I had learned to never trust anyone, or to take every offense as some permanent black stain that could never be removed, but when we met, it was how I was. With your http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/11/letter-to-marcie-wisdom-in-forgiveness.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-4906751114441757019Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:19:00 +00002008-11-12T19:43:59.147-08:00AnniversaryFrankMarcieMarriageMemoriesPoetryThanksTiredYou were here.I smelled your perfume around me.I felt your warmth beside me.I heard your voice behind me.I tasted your lips against me.I knew your soul as my own.I saw your face before me.You were mine.I woke to you each morning.I lived for you every day.I ran to you each evening.I held you every night.I cherished every moment.We were one.We lived in our communion.We loved and feared in union.We http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/11/anniversary.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-8247986758334261936Sun, 09 Nov 2008 23:48:00 +00002008-11-12T19:19:31.742-08:00FrankGratitudeLoveMarcieMemoriesThanksThoughtsTo my dear Marcie,I wanted to thank you about something I do almost every day, which I enjoy, and which I might have given up if it were not for you. Cooking.I know, I know. I knew how to cook when we met. But you gave me the right and the appreciation for my cooking that made me wanty to cook. You inspired me to branch out, to try new vegetables, foods and tastes. Most of all, you did not http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/11/cooking.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-1706853900634835014Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:20:00 +00002008-11-06T15:38:41.638-08:00FrankGood NewsMarcieMemoriesMomentProudThanksSo, I am sitting here after a long election night, thinking of you and some of the things we used to talk about. I remember how we meshed politically immediately, you care for people and disdain for close-mindedness a good match to my own.Remember when you found out Hillary was running? I remember we didn't agree on her as a good choice. I was mostly concerned with electability, because she http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/11/letter-to-marcie-politics.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-8103304715347847469Tue, 04 Nov 2008 04:31:00 +00002008-11-06T15:45:29.987-08:00EventsFrankFriendsLoveMarcieMemoriesMomentThoughtsThe fall sunset, so special still...Saturday I was watching one happen from the rooftop of Park Manor Suites as two new friends tied the knot. I so remember seeing one just like it one cool November evening and I glanced over to old Mister A's."This was way too expensive," you said.I nodded. It was. But I wanted to have a special night with you, and I had gotten it. And all the extra hours in thehttp://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/11/letter-to-marcie-sweet-days-in-sun.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-7715508897113293712Tue, 04 Nov 2008 03:47:00 +00002008-11-03T20:31:18.904-08:00EventsFrankLoveLustMarcieMemoriesMomentMourningQueen MarcieIt's another little gift you gave me. In 1993, I had not celebrated Halloween for 10 years. I just didn't see the sense in it. But you prevailed upon me to take another look at the holiday."So I was thinking we shoul do something for Halloween," you said. 'Hmm... dinner, dancing and gymnastics?' I thought. 'Maybe in costume for the last two? Helllloooooo nurse!'"Well, what do you have in mind, http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/11/letter-to-marcie-halloween.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6477400417185219070.post-6668296438998849157Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:04:00 +00002008-10-30T16:30:49.550-07:00AnniversaryFrankFriendsGratitudeLoveMarcieMusicNatalie MerchantNightPainThanksDear Marcie,You gave me music. Of course, in the figurative sense, we made beautiful music together. But you gave me music from people I had not before appreciated.Who knew I would learn to like some of these things. Sure, we had our common ground, U2,The Who, English Beat, The Cure. So many others... but you gave me the idea that current did not necessarily mean "sucks." I am so very http://somemomentsofmarcie.blogspot.com/2008/10/letter-to-marcie-music.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)0